All of the characters herein are based on characters presented in JKR's Harry Potter Series, I just
extrapolated.
Chapter 17 Literary Stupidity
*******************Hogwarts********************************
November 13, 2005
After the "encounter" at the Shrieking shack, Harry and Hermione used the secret passage from the shack to the Whomping Willow to sneak back to Hogwarts. It wasn't that people, especially the Gryffindors, didn't know that they were together. But they needed to plot their revenge ahead of time, vs. the expected onslaught of jokes and bad puns this incident would surely inspire.
With much trepidation, they went down to breakfast already cringing inside; ready for whatever Ron would come up with. After all he was related to George and Fred. But in an instant they were surprised. As they were entering the Great Hall, hands darted out, grabbed Harry and pulled him into a small side room. This of course, also brought Hermione along for the ride, as she had been holding his hand. The pair looked up to discover Luna and Ron standing in the cloakroom. Ron was looking slightly nervous, Luna, however was seemingly rather intent today and was holding onto Ron's arm like a little terrier. Like a terrier, she shook him and nodded meaningfully at the newcomers.
"Harry, Hermione, " Ron began, desperately trying not to meet their eyes. "We," a quick shake of the held arm, "I mean me, I was gonna make you two pay for that one forever, but I was convinced that would be wrong. After all that's what we were going there for."
"Maybe" Luna put in ambivalently, with rolled eyes, at his side.
"Ok maybe" Ron, corrected himself with a grin. "Anyway, damn Hermione." To which he received a quick WHACK to the back of his head with Luna's free hand.
"You two go on to breakfast, I need to discuss some things AGAIN, with dingleberry here. I hear they are serving snortcat today," Luna concluded with a feigned grimace at Ron.
"Suure, you two just do that." Harry said, a tiny smile fighting to break free. Walking out of the room, they started to hear small sounds that indicated a "discussion" starting to ensue.
"You know I used to have my doubts about that girl." Hermione muttered, thoughtful, as she and Harry walked to the Gryffindor table, where Neville, Ginny and Seamus were already eating. No one else seemed to be up yet. Sitting down and grabbing breakfast, Hermione leaned over and murmured, "Harry, what do you want to do today?"
"As much as I hate to admit it, we my dear, need to go the Library." Harry responded softly with a look of resignation weighing down his features. "I have to complete that essay from Dumbledore on the effects of the Diffindo charm vs. the Protegra Maxima charm. And I have to figure what the hell to teach the first years this week, and then I should probably get McGonagall's transfiguration work done."
"And we have to get that essay on Vertiaserum allergy reactions completed for Snape also" She put in with an air of annoyance. "Honesty, who cares about the bad guy's allergies anyway...though the secondary allergic reactions are interesting at least in how they affect the magical abilities of those who are allergic." Hermione finished thoughtfully as she worked out the permutations in her head.
"Hardcore dear" Harry replied, and gave her a peck on the forehead, after a minute of reflection, "Damn I forgot, how long was that thing?"
"Three feet, anyway if you and Ron, hadn't used those homework planners I got you two for Christmas fifth year as target practice, then maybe you would not have forgotten." Hermione shot back in an annoyed tone.
"Mione, we were bored, anyway do you actually use yours?"
"Well, not really," she admitted sheepishly, "I sort of just remember, I don't actually need it after I've written it down."
"The damn thing sounds like Umbridge." Harry whined, and looked at her with sad green eyes.
Damn he is right now that I think about it. "You're forgiven then" and kissed his cheek.
"What about Ron" Harry muttered through his grin.
"We'll see". Her eyes laughed, as she considered the question.
*****************************Hogwarts Library****************************
NEWT level classes strained even the brightest of students, and the two of them were ensconced in the library whittling on a pile of work. The pair had wandered back to Hermione's usual table where they were surrounded by piles of books and stacks of parchments. Harry and Hermione had been in the library for an hour when Ron, Luna, Neville and Ginny all staggered, in each carrying an overstuffed book bag. Luna and Ginny were actually getting off easy, as they had another year and a half until they had to take their NEWTS, the rest had to take them in May, assuming that they were all still alive of course. For once everyone was more or less actually studying, the books that was, though Harry was absently playing with Hermione's hair as she sat next to him, trying to determine the proper spell to transfigure a Siamese cat into a clock. Harry was using his other hand to occasionally turn the pages of a DADA book, he was looking for a way for his first years to practice level 1 stinging hexes, without him having to stand at the front of the class and hold a shield up the entire class. It was well within his ability to do so, even without his greater powers, but it would have been really annoying for an entire hour.
Across the table Ron and Luna were also kind of studying, well Luna, probably was, though the Transfiguration textbook was upside down. Ron however was almost in tears as he tried to figure out his Divination essay. Since Firenze was his NEWT professor in this class, he actually had to relate a real answer, unlike the old days, when he and Harry had just made predictions up for Trelwany, and to be honest, no one really understood Divination as centaurs did it, expect maybe Firenze. And because Frienze was a centaur, he wanted the signs interpreted as both humans and centaurs would do so and to compare and contrast the two viewpoints.
"Hermione, help?" Ron desperately gasped, holding out his essay.
"Sorry, Ron, remember I walked out of that class in our 3rd year and never looked back." Herm replied with a blinding smile and a small shrug.
"Luna, can we just go in the stacks and make out?" Ron asked with an air of desperation, after all if he failed, he might as well fail happy.
"Sure, Ronald, the hobgoblins will have left by now." she replied with a smile and jumped up into his arms.
Ginny looked up, sighing, from where she was sitting across from Neville. She was working on a report for Dumbledore, on throwing off the Cruciatus curse without outside help. This is pointless; the only one who has ever done that was Harry. She looked at Hermione, then at the stacks where her brother had just vanished, then back at Hermione. "Hermione?"
"Yep" Hermione inquired, as Ginny turned back to her report.
"When Ron flunks out of school, because he's too busy snogging, will you and Harry come to the Burrow with me, when I have to tell Mum? I have a feeling that I will need powerful wizards to get me out of there alive." Ginny grimaced without looking up from her parchment.
"Sure Sis." Hermione replied absently, absorbed in her book, fortunately multi-tasking was an old survival skill at Hogwarts; she turned the page and sighed softly.
"What do we have here? A pack of mudbloods, half-breeds and fuckups?" A drawling voice, sneered from behind them. Ginny groaned slightly as Harry rolled his eyes, and turned, slowly, deliberately, to face Malfoy.
"Malfoy," Harry snarled in a dangerous tone of voice, "I have a question for you." His right hand had dropped from Hermione, and covertly hovered near his wand.
"Yes, Potty?" Draco replied dismissively, an odd grin on his face.
"Are you insane or just fucking stupid? Get the hell out of here, before I have Ginny kick the shit out of you."
"Sending a girl to do your work for you Potter?" Malfoy replied with a sneer.
"No she's just closer, and I don't want to get your blood on my shirt, it's new." Harry said calmly in return. Ginny nodded amicably, and started to get up.
Malfoy had no comeback to that comment, but as he turned to beat a retreat, he couldn't resist one final parting shot. "Oh by the way mudblood, my father says to tell you hi."
That was almost his last comment, ever. Because as soon as the last word fell from his mouth, Hermione, who had been trying to just ignore him, suddenly snapped her eyes towards him, and as one both her and Harry's eyes started to glow bright blue. Standing suddenly, a series of whole shelves of books exploded, the books flying everywhere. Thundering footsteps were suddenly apparent as even without any clue as to what was going on, students ran for cover and Madame Pince started running to see what the problem was. Harry rose slowly, and as he fully stood up, the books thrown about by Hermione's blast started to rise from the floor and slowly started to rotate around the room like a very slow tornado.
Ginny and Luna looked a little fearful, not for their own safety, but for what their friends could and would do. With both of them out of control, no one present could calm them down, and Malfoy was dead if at least one didn't come back to their senses in the next few seconds and got the other to calm down. Unknown to everyone here, this was exactly the situation that their Head of House was fretful about only months ago.
Fortunately, she was not quite correct this time. No one could calm them down, except maybe Ron. Taking a steadying breath, he looked at the duo and realized that for once, that Harry was probably the easiest to get though to. Ron hurried over to Harry and grasping his shoulders, gently shook him, and then with no response, he shook him hard enough to rattle his head. "Harry, damn it, not like this. We'll get him some other time." Harry slowly looked over at him with his eerily glowing eyes, and as Ron watched a little fearfully, the glow faded from Harry's eyes and he shook his head.
As soon as Harry returned to his senses, he wrapped Hermione in both his arms and with his voice, mind and arms, managed to calm her down too. Around them, the books that had been hovering dropped to the floor with a resounding series of thuds, like a giant hailstorm.
"Malfoy" Harry said in a snarl after a very long silent moment. "You will leave here right now and go directly to your dorm. As of right now as your Prefect's badge is suspended pending review by Dumbledore. Additionally you are restricted to your house until Dumbledore's review." Harry did not let go of Hermione, as he said those words, they both glared at the Slytherin together. Ron slipped to Hermione's other side, just in case, his hand on his wand.
"Just who are you to do that?" Draco asked disbelievingly.
Harry took a deep, calming breath as he felt a rush start to come back, "I'm Head Boy you dumbfuck, and you just stepped over the line all the way. You have just verbally assaulted the Head Boy and Head Girl of Hogwarts along with two prefects with what could be construed as death threats in front of witnesses. Get the hell out of here now, or I will have you escorted there." The threat was carefully unuttered, but it was the there all the same, as two Gryffindor prefects, and one Head Girl, all glared at him, the prefects at least, with their hands conspicuously resting on the hilts of sheathed wands.
Malfoy looked at the group bitterly but walked off without a word, finally realizing how stupid it had been to start something without backup.
Harry let Hermione out of his arms and grabbed one of her hands. "Come on Mione, we better go report to Dumbledore, I may have just pushed my authority too far." He muttered quietly. As they began to turn for the door, a tall form appeared in the room.
"No Harry, you did correctly," A slightly amused, but trying to hide it, voice replied from above and behind Ginny.
"EEK" Ginny jumped as Dumbledore appeared behind her. She turned and glared accusingly at him, but for his part he just smiled at her, he loved doing that; after all he had to practice for 143 years to get it right.
"How long have you been there Professor?" Harry asked tiredly, not quite annoyed with his Headmaster, and still secretly his eldest relation.
"I came in at the end, right as you two got calmed down." Dumbledore replied wryly, and paused before he continued in a thoughtful tone. "That was an interesting demonstration, Hermione, though I think the one in King's Cross station was more effective."
"Professor, I apolo.." Hermione stammered an apology as she started to flush a light pink.
Dumbledore just shrugged, and airily waved his hand, "No need Miss Granger, if one pokes the lion with a stick, one must expect to get bit. It's a pity Mr. Malfoy does not seem to grasp the wisdom of that statement. I will let your suggestions stand for a while Harry; however I will have to reinstate his badge after a couple of weeks or so as he never actually assaulted you with force or magic, only verbally. In the future, however, I'm sure the librarian would appreciate if at least one of you kept your head.
With a wave of his wand, the Library was restored in an instant to the way it had been, the shelves repaired themselves, the books sorted themselves neatly in mid-air before flying back to their proper places.
Dumbledore turned to leave, but stopped and raised a long finger, as if remembering some trivial little detail, "Oh Mr. Weasley, before I forget, I need to return this" Dumbledore held out Ron's prefect badge, an utterly blank expression on his face. "It seems to have been found in that unused cloakroom at the entrance to the Great Hall. I don't know how it could have happened to get in there, but you should keep better track of it."
"Thanks, Professor" Ron took the badge as he turned about the color of his hair. Luna, who was still standing beside him, seemed to be studying the carpet awfully intensely, as Dumbledore meandered out of the Library, whistling a tune by the Weird Sisters, to the non-verbal annoyance of Madame Pince.
*****************Hogwarts, dungeons outside of Potions***********************
Ron and his classmates were coming out of a Potions class, where for once, all of Gryffindor House had escaped without points lost, in fact Slytherin was docked twenty points when Malfoy screwed up a potion and caused Snape's skin to turn a bright, verdant green. It was a weird day. Ginny came up with the other 6th year Gryffindors and grasping his hand, jumped up gave Neville a peck on the cheek. She along with the other 6th years had the next Potions class, which if judging by Snape's mood of a few seconds ago, boded only ill for them. Standing with Neville she looked over at Ron, with an odd contemplative expression.
"Oh Dear Brother." Ginny asked with a glint in her eyes.
"Yes" Ron replied with a slight sense of foreboding, and a sudden sense to hide behind Harry, if only he wasn't several inches taller.
"I was wondering if you would have it in your heart to invite Neville over to Christmas at the Burrow? Please?" Ginny looked up at her brother, her brown eyes pleading.
"Gin he's your boyfriend" Ron said with a sigh. Really not wanting to lie to his mother about why Neville was over for Christmas, yeah Neville was a close friend, but mum would figure it out and blame him, somehow.
"Ginny" Neville looked at her, his face going pale, "are you ashamed of me?" With a hurt look on his face and eyes that were wide in the torchlight, "I, mean I. No that I'm not...
"Oh God no honey, God no, " Ginny replied with sudden horror at the thought, "it's just that, Mum still has that little girl thing with me, and..." she stopped awkwardly. "I just didn't want you to be alone this holiday Neville, I know that your Grandma is going to visit your cousins in Romania, and I.... Well fuck it if mum can't understand then I'll just stay here with you." She grabbed Neville's hand and pulled him close to her, a slightly humorous sight as she was at least a foot shorter then him, or at least it would have been if it were anyone else.
Harry and Hermione, glanced at each other warily I guess we better break it to them Harry thought.
I was going to let Dumbledore...and Ron was looking forward to going home. Hermione replied, again without speaking.
Chicken dear? He thought back, though he also didn't want to break the news. After all they had gotten used to leaving the castle for Christmas over the last couple of years. And in particular he had been hoping for Hermione and him to be able to spend sometime alone at Grimmauld place, or at least with Remus and Tonks in the place, after all Sirius wouldn't mind. Though he was sure they would have joined the rest of their family at the Burrow for Christmas Eve and Day.
While the two had their mental conversion, the rest of the group looked on. They had all figured out what was going on when Harry and Hermione shut up, and now tolerantly ignored them. "You two do know that's kinda rude leaving us out of the conversion, mate, especially when we are all standing here." Ron said with a grin, trying not to laugh at his adoptive sister and his de facto brother.
"Sorry Ron, actually we were trying not to have to let you guys know." Harry paused a second and then went on. "Dumbledore told us this morning that the six of us get to stay here for Christmas. "
"What?" the incredulous objection came from several people at once.
"Yep, Hagrid picked up a rumor that some of the DEs that we captured at the Ministry are still holding a grudge, and that Voldemort was going to hit something over Christmas, probably as retaliation for our taking out his safehouse." Harry said with a slight frown.
"What about Grimmauld Place?" Neville asked hopefully, as he had rather liked the idea of a Christmas with Ginny, and away from his grandmother.
"Moody and Dumbledore don't fully trust the defenses there either after, you know." Harry finished uncomfortably as he didn't want to remind the others of that day in August. However the only response he got was a supporting squeeze and a small smile, "Anyway, Ron and Ginny it looks like the family is coming to you, the rest of the Weasley herd is to stay in the guest quarters over break."
"Damn it that means I can't loose the sweater and say Dobby took it again" Ron said absently, grimacing at the thought of yet another sweater.
"Ronald" Hermione snapped, exasperated at the thought that Ron was blaming his misdeeds on a house-elf, and one that was their friend to boot. He quickly started walking off as Harry distracted her for the sake of Ron's safety. As soon as he escaped out of earshot, Hermione laughed, "Oh, I think he thought I was serious."
A/N Next chapter Christmas Break.