Two… The Tutoring and The Tutor
I woke with an uncomfortable start. I sat up in bed and stared around, trying to find what woke me... The dorm was still dark and soft snores were coming from the four other four-posters in the room.
My two best friends (other than Michelle) were on either side of me. I could hear Kendra muttering softly, as she always did. On my other side, I knew Nora was deep in sleep- I considered waking her up, because she was the best listener I knew, and was awesome at advice, but everyone knew better than to wake her up… Her temper if she was woken for no reason was second only to mine.
I squinted over at the clock next to my bed… A little after four o'clock.
Instead of bothering my friends, I got out from under the warm covers and shivered. I switched my pajamas for a pair of jeans and a green turtleneck and grabbed my favourite book. I could at least get a bit of reading done, if not sleep.
*
"Lily?"
I jumped and looked around the common room. I didn't know of anyone that got up early on a Saturday. It had been a while since I'd curled up in my favourite armchair and begun reading.
James was at the foot of the boys stairs, wearing an old Quidditch shirt and a pair of crumply jeans. He'd obviously just gotten up, because his hair was even messier than usual… Ooh, I just wanted to run my hands through it.
"Why are you down here so early?" he asked.
I smiled faintly at the look on his face. He almost looked worried. I held up my book to show him. "I couldn't sleep."
"Oh."
"What are you doing up? It's almost seven… Isn't that a bit early for one of the Marauders on a Saturday?" I grinned. "From what I hear, you sleep loads, yet you're still pretty hard to get up."
"Nah, that's Remus." James said, walking over to the armchair closest to mine.
"Remus?" I snickered. "He gets up earlier than me, on most days."
"Okay… So maybe you've got a point. You caught me." His laughing eyes traveled around the common room, pausing on the warm fire.
"I always have a point, Potter."
His eyes flicked to mine. "It's James."
"Hmm?" I put my eyes back on my book.
"My name. It's James."
"I know." I shrugged.
"So use it."
"I do." I looked back up at him.
"Not always." He cocked his head to the side and stared at me. "You did, what, once?"
"You don't always call Remus or Sirius their first name. Maybe I'm copying you."
"Doubt it. Besides, those are nicknames."
"Maybe Potter is my nickname for you."
"So you wouldn't mind if I called you Evan?"
"What, like the guys name?"
"Yeah. Evan."
"No, I really wouldn't.. I've been called worse."
"Are you always this stubborn?" James asked, after a pause.
I grinned up at him. "Always."
James shook his head and smiled. "If you call me Potter, then I call you Lil."
I frowned at him. "I hate it when people call me that."
"Your friends do all the time." he reminded me.
"Only when they are out to annoy me." I said lightly, tilting my head to the side and smiling innocently at him. "And they know it makes me mad… But I can't kill them because they're my mates- and they know that."
"So am I not one of your mates?"
I looked at him carefully. I wanted so badly to know if he liked me still… I wanted to reach over, run my hands through his hair… I wanted to snog the bloody guy senseless. "Yes… You're my friend, James." I said breathlessly, looking back down at the floor.
If only he knew what he was doing to me… It wasn't fair, the way I came undone around him.
When I looked back up again, he was still looking at me. I stared back.
I felt like I was falling into his eyes… The way he was looking at me, I knew I wouldn't be able to take it much longer. I was about to do something I just might regret.
So I tore my eyes from his, grabbed my book, and stood up. "I'd better go wake up the girls. They take forever to eat- and we don't want to miss the match." I gave him a quick smile and ran across the common room.
*
"No… seriously. You guys just go without me. I think I'm going to run by Madame Pomfrey's. I've got a bloody headache that could wake a dead kneazle."
"All right… But are you sure?" Kendra asked. She picked up her bag and looked carefully down at me. Michelle was the only one that knew what I asked James on Thursday afternoon… I didn't want my friends to drag me out to the match, as I knew they would if they knew what had happened.
"I'm sure." I smiled weakly. "I want to go see Michelle, anyway." She'd had to go to the hospital wing the day before, because she had a fever and fainted twice… Which we both found to be extremely ironic, because of my 'fainting spell' in Arithmancy the day before.
Nora pushed a goblet of orange juice closer to my plate. "Drink this, okay? You'll feel better. And don't forget to say hi to her from us. And that we'll see her later. And-"
"Oh, come on, Nora- Lily isn't forgetful like me, she'll remember all fifty thousand things you've already told her. But if we don't go now, we won't get good seats! What if we have to sit with the Slytherins again? We did that once- I'll have to curse you to bits if you make us late."
"You're the one who's doing all the talking right now, Ken." Nora swung her dark hair over her shoulder. "Besides, Quidditch isn't all that-"
"Huh-uh…Nope. Don't get me started." Kendra interrupted. She looked annoyed, but her blue eyes were sparkling, so we knew she was feeling playful.
"Anyway, see you in a bit, Lily."
I nodded. They waved sadly and headed for the entrance hall, along with everyone else. It seemed that the entire school was going… Except me.
I finished the rest of my bacon, watching the a few stragglers make their way to the door. Mostly, the people were Slytherins, as they were the only ones with guaranteed seats. The other three houses had no problems sitting with each other… But the Slytherins always had their own section to themselves… And there were always empty seats. Nobody was stupid enough to sit there.
Except once… Nora, Michelle, and I were running a bit late for a Gryffindor-Slytherin game, because we were adding the finishing touches to a banner for Kendra (it was her first game) and we got to the game right when it started. The only seats open were in the Slytherin section, where we set up her banner, with it's flashing red and gold letters. Needless to say, the Slytherins were quite put out with the three of us… We were cheering loudly every time Gryffindor scored, or stole the Quaffle, or nearly hit a Slytherin player with the Bludger- anything to merit a cheer. We earned quite a few dirty looks and nasty glares, but it made it all the more fun for us.
For days after the match, we were considered celebrities- the only girls in the school brave enough to sit the entire match out next to the greasy Slytherins. I think even they looked up to us a bit.
A bit.
I drained my glass of orange juice and looked around. The hall was empty by the time I stood up and wandered lazily between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables.
*
With a sigh, I set down my pile of books on the table. If I wasn't going to the game, I may as well make good use of my time… And I didn't have anything else to do.
I looked around the large room, full with it's towering bookshelves, full of old, dusty books that were probably never read by choice. I walked slowly over to the Transfiguration row, hoping to find something to help me with my essay. It was my worst class by far, as I'd barely scraped by with an E on my O.W.L.'s- and that was just by luck. I bit my lip and ran a finger along the spines of the books in front of me, looking for the most helpful-looking book.
I considered asking James for help, but I had always been too stubborn to-
"Okay, so now, all you have to do is say the word- but be sure to say it right, or you might do the wrong spell… Believe me, I've done it loads of times." someone laughed.
I felt my heart racing… I peered through a gap in the bookshelf, to a secluded, very quiet alcove sort of thing near the back of the library. It was a good place to study when the library was full, because it was away from all the other tables. My eyes grew wide as they fell on a tall boy with mess, jet-black hair… standing next to a little girl I knew to be a first year Hufflepuff by the name of Zoe Henderson. Both had their wands out, the boy's in his hand, by his side; Zoe had hers pointed at the table that was cluttered with matches, quills, books, teacups, and rolls of parchment.
"James, I'm sorry you're missing the game." she said meekly, smiling up at him, dropping her arm to her side.
"Oh, it's all right…" He flashed her that smile I knew so well… One that made every girl's heat melt and her knees weak… Especially mine.
I did notice, however, that he hesitated slightly… Maybe he was thinking of me? I could only hope so.
Zoe sighed. "I don't think I'll ever get this." She gazed longingly at the library door.
"It isn't hard at all, once you get going. I promise, you'll be better than me soon." James nudged her in the shoulder with his elbow.
She giggled. "That would be really funny! A girl better at something than the big bad Head Boy?"
"That's what the Head Girl is for." James chuckled, taking a seat.
"Is she smarter than you?"
"In Charms she definitely is. And Herbology," James laughed. "And… probably everything else, too."
"Is she nice?"
"She's very nice."
"Pretty?"
"And she's very pretty."
I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding… James thought I was smart? And nice? And pretty?
"Then why don't you marry her?"
James's elbow slid off his knee. "M-marry her?" James choked. A light blush crept up his cheeks… A deep blush crept up mine.
"Yeah. She's smart and pretty and nice. Why can't you marry her?"
"Erm… Well, I guess because we're only seventeen, and still in school… And we're just friends." He added the last, almost as an afterthought.
"Well, what about after school? You must get along all right, because you have to work with each other all the time. You should marry her after school."
For the first time in six and a half years, I saw James Potter speechless. He looked extremely uncomfortable… But I couldn't forget the way he blushed.
"You know, I don't think the library is going to be open for much longer… We should get back to work on this stuff." James waved his hand in the direction of the pile on the table.
Zoe smiled sympathetically and fell into the seat across from his. "Do you like her? And the library doesn't close until eight o'clock tonight, which I know you know full well."
"What is this, twenty questions?" James frowned down at the little first year in front of him.
"Answer the question."
"You're too bossy!"
"And you dodge things!" Zoe cried, jumping to her feet. James stood up defiantly.
"Well… you're too curious!"
"And you're single!"
"Wha-" James stared. "Well, so are you!"
"Yeah, but you're a seventh year, that works everyday with a really nice and pretty girl, but won't even give her a chance!"
"How do you know I won't give her a chance?"
My eyebrows rose. How did we know he wouldn't give me a chance?
"You're a guy."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You're afraid of commitment of any and every kind."
"And how would you know? You're eleven!"
"I turned twelve last week, actually. And you wouldn't know, either! You're a guy!"
James glared down at the girl before him. I almost laughed out loud at the absurdity of the situation… James being intimidated by a little first year.
I took a deep breath and poked my head around the end of the bookshelf. "I heard someone arguing, and I thought that maybe the Head Boy was here."
James froze. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights.
Zoe looked up at him and giggled. "We were just finishing up my lesson on Transfiguration." she said. "Weren't we, James?"
James relaxed a bit, but was still watching me suspiciously. He nodded. "Lily, Zoe. Zoe, this is Lily… The Head Girl."
"Hi, Zoe." I walked around the bookcase, feeling strangely confident.
"Hi, Lily." Zoe grinned. "Is it hard, being Head Girl?" She glanced up at James.
"Hard? Hmm…" I smiled at him. "Well, sometimes. The worst part is keeping him in line."
"He said you're smarter than him."
"Oh?" I glanced at him again. "Well, he's right." I said seriously. Zoe giggled and James frowned. "Except in Transfiguration. He's got me beat there, by far." He smiled slightly and stepped forward.
"And Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts and-"
"Just Transfiguration, Zoe, don't listen to him."
"Well, I'm glad I finally got to meet you, Lily… Aren't you Michelle's best friend? I like her. She's nice to me."
"Yeah, and she's my best friend."
"Then you're my friend, too."
I smiled at her. "Well, I hate to say it, but I have some Transfiguration to do… I may not get it done if I don't go now. I don't like Transfiguration." I added, to Zoe.
"Maybe, if I get any better, I'll help you." Zoe said.
"I'd like that, Zoe." I tried not to laugh. "I really would."
Zoe beamed at me. I turned to go, but waved at her before I disappeared around the corner.
I heard her turn to James and say, "She is very pretty and nice. You should marry her."
"Zoe… I think we're done for the day, eh?" James said loudly, drowning out the last bit of her sentence.
My good mood was dampened when I remembered the reason for my being in that aisle. I took the first book I could find and headed back to my table.
I fell heavily into my chair, not at all looking forward to so much work. I pulled out my Transfiguration book and quill.
"Lily?"
It was James. I smiled as he slid into the seat next to me and dropped his bag onto the table.
"Yeah?"
"How much did you hear?" He fidgeted anxiously with his quill.
I cocked my head to the side. "Oh, not much… I heard your voice, so I thought I'd say hi. Why? Guilty conscience?"
"Just wondering." he grinned. "Zoe's quite a talker, isn't she?"
I laughed. "She reminds me of me- when I was younger. A bit, anyway."
"What, how stubborn you both are?" James snickered.
"I was thinking more along the lines of… curious… But maybe that, too."
"Though I think you might be more stubborn than her… So, what are you doing?" He leaned forward, looking at what I had written… A whole four words- my pathetic attempt at the paper the day we got it.
"Oh… That five foot roll on Animagi."
"Ah- that's not so bad."
"Easy for you to say." I sighed and leaned back in my chair.
"Do you want any help?" James asked, after a slight pause.
"Do I want help? Well…"
"Aww… The stubbornness kicks in again. Let me rephrase that… Do you need any help, Lil?"
"Sure." I shrugged, trying to look like it didn't really affect me either way. "And I'm not stubborn." Neither of us noticed he called me Lil, the forbidden name.
"Let me go get you this one book… It has all the stuff you'll need in it- I mean, everything… And, yes, you are stubborn. You wouldn't know how to not be." He smirked at me before disappearing behind one of the many shelves.
I stared after him, wondering what he was thinking. Was he just embarrassed because a twelve year-old was asking question after question about someone he used to like? Or was he really embarrassed because he felt the same things I did?
I was still pondering this question when he returned with a small, maroon leather-bound book.
Then, I began to doubt that he still felt anything when he opened the book and was off explaining everything about Animagi… I got lost after just a few words.
Then again, maybe it was just the effect of him being so close to me.