Five… Raining Happiness! Sort of…
"There is nothing fun about studying." Michelle said sadly, shifting in one of the uncomfortable wooden chairs of the library.
"Tell me about it…" I muttered, staring down at my open Transfiguration book. "I'll never understand this."
"We'll I'm hardly any help."
That's true…
"You know what? I'm done with everything else… Let's just leave. We can do this tomorrow night."
"That's a horrible habit to get into, Lily." Michelle said in a mock-disapproving tone. "Actually, I was waiting for you to say something, because I didn't want to be the weak one." She giggled.
"Ladies!" Madame Pince whispered harshly. "You're in the library!" She gave us a cross look before turning back to her stack of books. "I have to ask that you either study and be quiet or leave!"
"Merlin…" Michelle snorted. "You're right. Let's get out of here!"
"Gladly." I smirked, hastily shoving my books into my bag. "I'm hungry, let's go to the kitchens."
"How can you be hungry? You just ate lunch!"
"I can't help it if I'm still hungry. And we didn't just eat. That was… two hours ago!" I shook my head, laughing as I pushed back my chair. I jumped to my feet. "Two hours is a long-" As I turned, I fell back in my chair as I ran into something… a very solid something.
"Ouch?" I grinned up at James Potter.
"Sorry, Lil." he chuckled. "Bit tipsy, eh?" He held out his free hand to help me up. I took it happily. "I've heard an empty stomach can do that to you."
"What're you doing in here?"
"Looking for you. Hi, Michelle."
"Hi, James."
"Looking for me? What'd I do? I haven't done anything." I frowned at him, shaking my long hair over my shoulder. It was only occasionally that I would wear my hair down (though my friends said I should more often), but I just couldn't stand it being in my way… like it was right then.
"A guilty conscience can say it all." James snickered.
"Ahem!"
Madame Pince was standing about three feet away from my elbow, glaring reproachfully at the three of us.
"Yes?"
"I cannot allow the three of you to so loudly interrupt those students who do actually study!" Her mouth was set in a very firm line- not unlike the one Professor McGonagall wore most of the time… Pince even looked something like her, with her dark hair back in a low bun, with a witches hat over her head, and long, dark robes. She was relatively new to Hogwarts, so I supposed she took McGonagall as her idol, or something.
James held up his hands in surrender and nodded. "Apologies, Madame."
Michelle and I smiled at each other, and tried not to laugh. Apologies, Madame?
James grinned and followed us to the door… Though I didn't fail to notice how close to me he was- in fact, I rather liked it.
As James closed the door to the library, Michelle mouthed to me, "Go get him, Lily!"
I mock-glared at her, hoping James hadn't noticed… I might've died if he had.
"Right, well, I've got to get back to my common room… See you in the morning, Lily!" Michelle waved to us as she turned to go, but her sparkling green eyes were fixed steadily on mine.
"So…"
I looked over at James, adjusting my book-laden book bag so that it was more comfortable on my shoulder.
"So I was looking for you because Professor McGonagall caught me earlier and said we need to plan a Hogsmeade visit. She said we should have already announced it and all that, but I think she's just saying that so we'll hurry and pick the date." He snorted. "But then, she's been a little cynical the last few days, wasn't she?"
I nodded, laughing. "Well, let's go then, shall we? If we 'hurry and pick the date,' then maybe she won't be cynical at all on Monday. I don't want her to be in a dreadful mood for our class, do you?" I said lightly, as James stepped up beside me.
"But when she is, you have to admit that she's more fun to rib."
"And quicker to hand out a detention."
"Ah, those don't bother me so much anymore."
I laughed, looking out the nearest window. For some reason, at that moment, I couldn't help but wonder if he still fancied me. I knew I fancied him.
*
"Okay… so… what if we… argh, I don't know."
"We could have it in two weeks- well, I think it's in two weeks- anyway, on this day…"
"That's a week from today… How about this day? It's my birthday." I snorted.
"You're birthday is this month? I didn't know that! Why didn't you tell m-"
"Or we could have it here, because it would be on the weekend before the Quidditch game…" I giggled, trying to keep James from hearing my slip-up about my birthday. I'd always hated telling people when it was, which I knew was stupid.
"I never knew when your birthda-"
"This shouldn't be so hard, we're just picking a day for… Erm… Hi, do you need something, Benjy?"
James and I stared up at Benjy Fenwick (of Ravenclaw), as he stood awkwardly a few feet away from our table.
"Oh… hi, Lily." he said, trying to look as though he'd only just noticed us. "Lovely morning, don't you think?" He grinned nervously… Or, I thought it was nervously.
"Very… lovely." I said. I smiled patiently, wondering why he looked so nervous… and why he kept glancing over at James.
"Mind if I sit here? I'm waiting on someone." He gestured to the empty seats at the table next to us… the empty seats at the Gryffindor table.
"Wouldn't mind at all."
Benjy smiled in relief and took the empty seat next to mine. James stiffened. "What's that?" Benjy pointed to the great mass of papers spread out on the table.
"Head stuff. Confidential." James said stiffly. I looked over at him on my other side, eyebrows raised. He looked away and started grouping things into messy stacks. "What? It is." he muttered.
"Oh." Benjy sighed.
I smiled and gathered James's quills in my hands. "We're planning the next Hogsmeade visit. We've been trying to decide on the date for it."
James shifted uncomfortably next to me.
"Just started planning it?" Benjy asked suddenly.
"That's what she said." James muttered.
"Looking forward to it?"
"I don't think I'm even going." I smiled patiently, after elbowing James sharply in the ribs.
Benjy brightened. "Why not? It could be a lot of fun, with the right person."
"She said she isn't planning on it, Fenwick, why don't you back off?" James leaned on the table, so he could see on my other side. My jaw dropped. Was he jealous?
"Would you go with me, Lily? I'd love it if you did. It'll be better than sitting around in this musty place." Benjy too leaned on the table, but it was only to get closer to me; his eyes never left mine.
My jaw dropped again. Was he serious? "I… erm… well, Benjy, I'd love to, b-"
"Spiffing!" Benjy jumped up. "Oh, but look! There's Caradoc- I've been waiting on him this entire time, and here he is, waiting on me, too. Strange, yeah?" He winked suggestively and put his hand on my shoulder. "I'll see you around, love." He bent down for a kiss… on my lips. My heart stopped for a moment- but it wasn't out of nervousness or excitement.
As he sauntered away, black robes billowing out behind him, I made a noise halfway between disgust and disbelief. "Did he just-" I turned around to look at James. "I didn't even say yes!"
"He took it as a yes."
"But- you heard me, I was trying to say-"
"That you'd 'love to.' " James's eyes weren't their normal playful, dancing hazel… they were disappointed, betrayed, dark…
Not for the first time, I felt like my heart was slowly breaking into pieces…
"I didn't finish my sentence… I was trying to say that I'd love to, but that I didn't want to go, and that was that!" I cried desperately. "I don't even like him! I don't even know him!" For some unknown reason, I felt tears stinging my eyes.
"Yeah, well…" James pushed himself to his feet. "Suppose I'll see you around." He said it in such a perfect imitation of Benjy that… it hurt, and I didn't know why. He gathered his things and, without a backward glance, walked away, lifting his head higher as he went.
Some of the Gryffindors at our table looked up at us… as did the Hufflepuffs a table over.
Just before he went through the double doors, I let out a sob. "You forgot to say 'love!' " I yelled.
The only indication he made that he heard was in the way that his head bowed further.
*
"So what's wrong with her?"
"She wouldn't say."
"Are you sure you're allowed up here?"
"Oh, who cares if I am or not?"
"Yeah, Lily needs us…"
"Or does she? Look at her… She won't talk to any of us."
"It's no wonder, the way you all are yelling about her, like she's not even here!"
"She's asleep. Can you hear us talking when you're asleep?"
"I don't think so. She never hears what we're saying about her in the middle of the night…"
"Hey! I resent that!"
"Shut it, all of you! You're being too loud… Prats."
I cringed. The silence that followed Nora's words was worse than the constant chatter. I realized my mistake a moment too late, however, when a pair of hands grabbed my shoulders.
"You little fake! You're not asleep." It was Zoe… But she was smiling, I could tell that much.
I remained where I was, eyes closed. "Go. Away."
"Ouch. No need to be grouchy with us, dear. We're just worried about you… You haven't moved at all since… well, sometime yesterday afternoon." Michelle said, in a mother-like way.
"It was around dinner, I think, when you came up here… Someone said something about you and James fighting…" Kendra said softly.
"Just about all of the Hufflepuffs heard it… Gryffindors, too." Zoe added.
"Want to talk about it?" Nora tried.
I groaned. "Can I just be alone for a while?"
"It's already past lunch… And a particularly beautiful day. You need to get up… Go see James. Talk to him. Fix things with him."
"We could just drag him up here…" Michelle said thoughtfully. "From what I hear, the Marauders are up in their dorm, trying to pull their leader out of his four-poster, too."
"Good!" I growled, rolling over onto my stomach. "I hope he feels horrible. He deserves it."
"Why?" Zoe asked innocently. She crawled up on the four-poster, next to my feet.
When I neither pushed her off or kicked her for being on my bed, the others took it as their cue to climb up beside me, too.
I turned my head to look at all of them.
Kendra and Nora looked timid, afraid that I might yell at them to get off… Zoe and Michelle, however, looked quite smug- obviously not intending to move… Even for me.
I took a deep breath and buried my head in my pillow. "You're mad… the lot of you."
When no one made a reply, I clenched my teeth and flopped (rather dangerously) onto my back again.
They were all giving me such funny looks I couldn't help but laugh.
"All right." I sighed, smiling all the same. "I'll talk."
*
"Fine. I'll admit… You were all right. It is a beautiful day…" I closed my eyes and held my arms out. "Well, my kind of beautiful day. None of you like rain, do you?" I smiled, face upturned, allowing the fat drops of rain to hit my face. I'd always called rainy days 'beautiful,' though no one (including myself) could exactly explain why… and I was continually made fun of for it.
Not that I cared.
"Why are we out here, exactly?" I heard Kendra mutter to Nora. She was always the summer-type, just for the lack of wet weather…
Oh, but I loved rain…
"'Cause it'll make Lily happy."
"And we certainly don't want her in a bad mood, do we?"
"I can still hear you, you know." I laughed out loud, not bothering to turn and look at my friends as they huddled under one of the eaves of the castle. "The four of you are no fun. Get out here in this rain with me!"
"I have a better idea! Why don't you just march yourself right back up there to your true love, apologize for the misunderstanding, snog him 'til neither of you can breathe, then announce it to the school." Kendra snorted sarcastically. "It'd make everyone happier, at least!"
Slowly, I turned on the spot to face her. I let my arms drop to my sides, not trying to hide the angry-surprised look on my face. "Excuse me?"
With a groan, Kendra leaned her head back on the stone wall of the castle. "Argh… Lily, I'm sorry… I didn't mean…"
"It's okay." I said softly. I stared at her for a moment, taking in her soaking brown hair, her solemn blue eyes (which were normally very playful), and her contrite expression. "Actually, the lot of you had better get inside before you come down with something." With that, I turned to walk toward the forest, dimly noting the look on Michelle's face. "I'd like to be alone for a while."
"Lily…" Nora said faintly.
*
When I opened my eyes, it was dark… too dark. I tried to swallow- but found that I couldn't. Weakly, I stood, rubbing at a sore spot on my back: a lasting reminder not to sleep in the way that I had…
"Where am I?" I muttered to myself, squinting around.
But nothing came to my sight.
Suddenly, I heard a strange rustling to my left- I turned in the direction of the noise, but my eyes found nothing but darkness…
An eerie chill ran up and down my back as something brushed against my arm. "Wh-"
"Lily."
I'd know that voice anywhere…
"James?" I whispered. My voice cracked and sounded as though it hadn't been in use in a very long time.
"Lily." He repeated. I blinked again as he came into focus, edging nearer to me.
"Where are we?"
In the dimness of our surroundings, I could see him mouthing something… His mouth shaping words I could not hear.
"What?" I tried to ask, but no sound was made.
He moved closer, his words slowly growing louder. "Why… how could you…" His hazel eyes were full of hurt and pain. "Why?"
"I'm sorry!" I said weakly- but in vain. I didn't even know why I was apologizing.
I just didn't want to see James sad…
I stepped forward, stretching my arms forward for his touch. "I-"
Without warning, the darkness disappeared and I found myself in a strange hallway, as narrow as one of a small house. James, at the other end, pulled his wand from his pocket and looked over his shoulder. "Lily, take Harry and go!" He looked at me, eyes pleading sadly. "It's him! Go!" On his other side, a faint green light appeared. James threw out his arm to push me the other way, but when he touched my shoulder, it was a gentle touch: warm and loving. "Run! I'll hold him off-" There was a loud crash and I felt my stomach jolt, as though I had just been slammed to the ground.
"James!" I yelled, reaching out for him…
But where had he gone? He was gone from my sight… And I knew I would never see him again.
*
With an unexpected shock, I found myself in the floor of my dormitory. I jumped and pulled away from the pair of cold hands that were slapping at the sides of my face. "What-" I started; I still could not hear my own voice.
I struggled to break free from the restraint the blankets formed around my arms and legs…
"Lily!"
"Calm down-"
"We're trying to get you out!"
"Lily?"
"What's wrong?!"
My face was stinging were I had been struck; my dorm mates had obviously been trying to wake me for some time.
"Did she say James's name?"
At this, I stopped moving. Taking a ragged breath, I looked up, into the eyes of my best friends. "N-Nora? Ken? Where is he?" I gasped.
"Where is who? James?"
"In his dorm- everyone is, Lily- it's… it's four in the morning…" Nora said softly.
"Go to sleep…" Anne muttered, across the room. She rolled over in her sleep.
"Sod off." Kendra muttered back, glaring icy daggers in the blonde's direction.
"Lily? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine…" I said, surprised to find my throat ached whenever I spoke. "What happened?"
Nora stopped untangling the blankets long enough to look up at me. "We're not so sure exactly… One minute, everything was quiet, and the next, I could hear you thrashing about, so I got up. When I did, you said James's name… and tumbled right off your bed. You looked like you were trying to reach for something…"
"There… you're free. Why don't you get back up in your bed… And we'll get you some water…" Kendra held out her hand.
"How did I get…" I took her offered hand. "here?"
"You just fell over,"
"No- not out of bed… How did I get into it?"
"What do you mean?" Nora asked slowly, her blue eyes worried.
"N-never mind…" I did my best to smile as I climbed up on my large bed.
"Well… good night, then, Lil."
"Lily." I corrected automatically… Not noticing the look that passed between the two, or the smile.
I rolled over, to be more comfortable, wondering briefly how I'd come to be in my dorm room… The last I could remember, I was standing at the edge of the forest, looking at one of the trees. It fascinated me, in a way… I felt overwhelmingly tired… and sat down at the base of the strange tree.
But even if I had fallen asleep there, it still didn't explain how I'd gotten back to the castle.