I Solemnly Swear I Am Up to No Good
Chapter 10
I Solemnly Swear I Am Up to No Good
"You're leaving, mate?" asked Ron in a panicked voice.
"Thinking about it…." replied Harry, who was packing his trunk.
"Hermione is in quite a state. She sent me to 'talk sense into you', what's up?"
"I'm making more sense than ever before. I should thank Ginny for making the choice easy for me."
"You can't be serious!" Ron said loudly in surprise.
"Dead serious. I saw a few places for lease in the city today, a few places that want help that might overlook my lack of muggle identification. I was hoping Hermione might help me out with the memory charm, but no matter. Lupin would if I asked, or Tonks…"
"You've thought this through completely, have you?"
"Yes, I've been amazingly thorough. I've been kidding myself that the wizarding world is where I 'fit in' or 'belong'. If I were an intelligent bloke, I'd have done it the first time Voldemort came after me, or when Hagrid told me my past before I ever started Hogwarts."
"Bloody hell, Harry, you can't do this!" Ron said.
Harry let out a calming breath. "I can and I am." he said.
"We should have a drink to toast your new life, then."
"Ron, what're you up to?" asked Harry in a skeptical tone.
"Nothing!" Ron insisted. "I'll get the bottle, you get the glasses."
A short time later, Harry was carefree. Ron had been sipping his drinks slowly and carefully and was not even tipsy. Harry didn't notice.
"We should see what Fred and George are up to." Ron suggested.
"Okay," agreed Harry. At this point, Harry would agree to anything.
Ron pushed Harry into the fireplace.
Weasley's Waz…wuz…where t'hell are we goin', Ron?" Harry slurred. "Wuzzly's wazzle. No, 'at's not it. I can't do this." stated Harry and he started to step out of the fire.
Ron threw in some floo powder and said "Weasley's Wizard Wheezes" distinctly.
"Yeah, that's it!" acknowledged Harry as he spun out of sight.
Harry landed in a pile on the floor of the joke shop. He rolled out of the way for Ron, who was following.
"Harry, old chap!" said Fred. "Corking good to see you!"
"How are you and all of your 'amazing' body parts?" said George.
Harry looked at his left hand intently and stated, "I think th're all here."
"Ron told us…" said Fred.
"…That you are planning on leaving," said George.
"That can't be!" said Fred.
"You can't leave now!" said George.
"You can't do this to us!" said Fred.
"If you stay, you'll be forever in our debt." said George
"What? Why?" asked Harry. Ron just sat back and hid a smirk.
"Dark lords and all that are beside the point." said Fred.
"You, sir, are a bird magnet." said George.
Harry looked at the twins in an inebriated confusion.
"You have a girl that stated publicly," said Fred
"That you are the best shag of her life," said George.
"You have them chasing you so…" said Fred.
"Maybe you need to stop running," said George.
"And maybe we could all benefit from it," said Fred.
"I don't want another girlfriend," pouted Harry.
"Then keep it simple," said George.
"No strings," said Fred.
"No strings?" asked Harry.
"No strings." said the twins in unison.
"This isn't necessarily a bad thing, Harry," said George.
"Mum and Dad will come around," said Fred.
"We'll help you with that. Until then…" said George.
"…We can enjoy the fruits of your distress," said Fred.
"By getting shagged often," said George.
"And repeatedly," said Fred.
"You'll see," said Ron at last. "Staying is the best thing for you."
"Yeah, okay," said Harry. "But m'keeping m'options op'n."
"Let's go," said Fred.
"What? Now?" asked Harry.
"No time like the present," said George.
"You should make some ground rules," suggested Ron.
"Tha' sounds best," replied Harry. "The first one is no one goes into my room. If we go back t'my place, take a spare room."
"Done," said Fred. "If we come back here, you can have the guest room."
"Right," said George. "We'll go to Seamus', Harry gets first pick and we suffer with the rest."
"Done," said George. "Now, let's be on with it."
The four men walked into Seamus' pub and the room went silent. Every eye was looking at the black haired man at the door. A hopeful smile graced many feminine faces, while a scowl appeared on several masculine ones.
"I'll get the first round, and then I'd best be running off home." said Ron.
"Okay, run home to the missus before you get into trouble, Ickle Ronnikins." said Fred with a laugh.
Ron came back with 3 pints and a butterbeer. He handed the butterbeer to Harry saying, "He had enough at his place. We don't want him to pass out before the party begins."
Harry just smiled hugely and ignored all of the other gawping patrons
Soon a few of the more daring ladies were coming up to their table, expectantly. Harry remained quiet while the twins chatted up the girls. Harry would give a small nod or subtle shake of his head to indicate whether or not he was interested.
After Ron left, the firewhiskey flowed like a river. Seamus had stopped over for a bit and expressed his gratitude to Harry. His pub had never been busier. Seamus being Harry's schoolmate, women were packing in to see if Harry would stop by ever since the article was released.
"Why don't we head back to our place," Fred offered, sipping his firewhiskey. "And continue this party in a more private setting."
Harry agreed and grabbed the hand of the girl sitting next to him. They apparated back to the flat above the twins' shop.
The next morning, Harry awoke disconcerted. When he found his glasses, he noticed he was in the living room floor of Fred and George's flat. He nervously looked around.
"Good afternoon. Glad you could join us in the land of the living," said George chucking Harry a dressing gown.
Harry caught it and started to put it on. He wondered what had happened and why he was still there rather than at his own home. Fred was still sleeping on the sofa above him.
"It was the party of the century," said George. "Just 3 blokes and 9 girls, it was brilliant"
Harry began to remember the previous evening. "Did we really do that?" he asked. His face flamed and his head was buzzing with the remnants of his overindulgence.
"Yep. And we can do it again whenever you'd like."
"Merlin's beard!" Harry exclaimed in awe. Harry mentally tallied his actions and was flabbergasted. "I…er… I remembered to...er.."
"Your covered, mate," Fred said sleepily from the couch. "All protection charms were in place before every encounter."
"Now, since we are all awake, we can tidy up a bit and plan the next festivity." said George. "Silk boxers, Harry, nice touch" and he tossed them over to Harry.
Harry arrived home still in shock over his behavior, as well as the thought that he planned to do it again that very night. He showered and went to the kitchen to prepare his lunch. Ron popped in and peppered Harry with questions about the night.
"So," started Ron "do you still want that memory charm?"
Harry gave Ron a wicked grin and replied, "Not just yet..."
Ron whooped with glee and said, "I've got to tell Hermione." and ran over to the fireplace.
Hermione arrived shortly. "Harry, I'm so glad you changed your mind!" she exclaimed as she pulled him into a tight hug. She glared at Ron over his shoulder as if to say 'This was not what I had in mind when I asked you to convince him to stay!'
"I wish I could have been there." said Ron with envy.
"You are married, Ron!" shouted Hermione. "You'll see, Harry, things will die down and you can get back to your normal life. You can even go back to work soon."
"Yeah, if I'm not shipped off to the continent" Harry grumbled. Being on leave from the work he loved was still a sore point for him.
The next few days flew by in a blur for Harry. He had definitely perfected his Pepper Up Potion making skills, which he had found was an excellent cure for a hangover, if he could stand the steam coming out of his ears.
He arrived back at the Ministry on the appointed day and discovered that the furor had not died down; it had, in fact, increased. Witch Weekly had been reporting Harry's dalliances with vim and vigor. His smiling picture with whomever he had selected as his date embellished the front of every issue. Kingsley Shacklebolt had not been pleased, however he allowed Harry to maintain a three-day off/four-day on work schedule. He worked out of town, mostly, and rarely spent a minute in his office.
He had curtailed his imbibing since returning to work, however not the other activities. He never allowed anyone other than his good friends to stay over. He was starting to find a 'new normal'. He gave up on his life's unattainable goals and replaced them with less stringent pleasures.