The Fallout
Chapter 9
The Fallout
"I don't want to go, Ron." Harry stated as he paced across the room of his flat.
"Why not?" asked his friend. "Because Ginny will be there?"
"It's not that," replied Harry replied. "It's just…" Harry lowered his voice to a whisper, "they know I slept with her. Merlin! The whole world knows I slept with her!"
"So what?" replied Ron with a snicker, "At least you got passing marks…"
"You don't understand. It's your parents. It's your brothers. Oh Merlin, I can't do this. What do I say to them?"
Ron smirked and said, "You've known us for years. I'm sure your 'amazing tongue' will find the perfect words. Let's just go." With that, Ron apparated to the Burrow.
Harry groaned loudly and followed.
"Hello, Ronald, dear," Mrs. Weasley said warmly. There was a distinct chill in her voice when she said "Oh, hello, Harry."
"Where is she?" Ron asked his mother, who was getting dinner ready.
"She is at a party for her new job. Maybe she'll find a nice boy there to go out with."
Harry wanted to protest, but he let it go. Mr. Weasley entered the room, gave Harry a glower, and went out to his shed.
"Maybe I'd better just go, Ron," Harry whispered.
"No, you stay. They'll come around. You'll see." replied Ron
Harry suppressed another sigh and went into the next room.
Fred and George arrived in time to eat. Seeing Harry, they couldn't even take the mickey. "How's it going, Harry?" George asked solemnly.
"Fine. Couldn't be better," said Harry with heavy sarcasm.
Mrs. Weasley harrumphed. Mr. Weasley had walked in and said in response, "You reap what you sow."
"Come off it, Dad," said Ron. "Leave him be."
Harry was glad his friend understood, however he didn't want to cause friction between Ron and his parents. Fred and George, deciding that it was much too somber for them, slipped Ron a candy from their shop. Ron immediately sprouted bright pink feathers.
"Fred! George! Change him back this instant! We have enough to worry about without your shenanigans! Turn him back this instant!"
"The spell is temporary, Mum. He'll be as ugly as ever in no time." said Fred.
Harry's face never broke a smile. He just looked at Ron as if in awe.
Dinner was the normal loud boisterous event. Harry remained quiet, however. It was as if he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Finally, Mr. Weasley spoke to Harry, "I wasn't sure if you'd come this evening or not."
"I wasn't certain myself," Harry responded.
"Dad, please…" Ron started.
"Stay out of it, Ron," he said. "I can't tell you how disappointed I am."
Harry examined his shoes. He wished he were somewhere else, anywhere else.
"We trusted you to protect Ginny, not take advantage of her."
"I didn't." Harry said flatly.
"You mean to tell me that the 'things'…'" He said it like it was a disgusting swear word, "in that article are lies?"
"No, sir, I didn't say that." Harry felt his anger building like a spark that ignites into a raging inferno.
At that instant, Ginny walked in. The Burrow erupted into a hurricane of accusations, denials and fury. Harry held his tongue and watched in horror as the row spiraled to deafening levels. Harry could see why Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were disappointed in him. He'd had an affair with their only daughter. He couldn't understand why they were acting as it were entirely his fault. He had wanted to keep it quiet. Then again, he could understand their attitude toward him. No matter how much he wished otherwise, Harry was not a Weasley and never would be. He knew that her parent's were a bit blind when it came to their daughter.
Harry left to apparate back to his place. After the commotion of the Burrow, he always appreciated the stillness of his own home. #4 Privet Drive was relatively quiet, except when he was being reprimanded, to use a polite term. He'd promised his Uncle Vernon as he left the last time that he wouldn't come back. He'd kept that promise so far. Harry couldn't help but wonder how his relatives were getting on. It wasn't that he especially cared about them or they; him. You just don't write off a blood relative without thought.
Hedwig flew over and landed on Harry's shoulder as soon as he arrived. It was eerie the way his pet owl could read his moods. He was her master, yes, but which of them did the scolding? The snowy owl nipped his ear affectionately. Harry smiled despondently and ruffled her neck feathers in return.
He saw there was still a crowd outside his balcony and went upstairs to his room. He couldn't find solace there, so he went back to his cupboard. The small dark space comforted him almost as well as his sunrise tea on the terrace. It wasn't the same though. On the balcony, in the early hours of the morning, he felt free, alive. In the dark cramped space under the steps, he felt protected and alone. It suited him. He even no longer had spiders to keep him company. He was home.
The next morning he awoke stiff from his night in seclusion. He'd heard Ron, Hermione, even Ginny stop by. He had ignored them. He'd come to some realizations overnight. He'd lost, again, the closest thing he had to a family. He couldn't handle being followed and gawped at anymore. He would see if he could make it in the muggle world again. He had plenty of gold in his family's vault. He'd take just enough to get a start. He'd find a muggle job and leave the wizarding world, maybe forever and maybe not. He wouldn't make long-term plans. He just knew this was the right thing for him at the moment.
With a firm plan in mind, he opened the door and crept out of his retreat. He found Ron and Hermione asleep on opposite ends of his sofa. He made coffee, tea and muffins for when they awoke.
"Where have you been?" screamed Hermione upon seeing him. "We were worried sick!"
"I was here the whole time." said Harry. He didn't elaborate.
He didn't need to. His friends glanced over at the cupboard and knew where he'd been hiding.
Hermione gave him a tight hug. Ron patted him on his back.
"I'm really sorry about all of that, mate," Ron said. "I can't believe they stuck up for her after what she did."
"She's their daughter. I'd expect no less."
"How many times have they said you were as good as their son?" Hermione asked, tears rolling down her face at Harry's dilemma.
"It's not the same," Harry replied sadly. "Not nearly the same."
"They'll come around, mate. I know they will."
Harry shrugged. It didn't matter anymore. He had a plan. Until he figured out the details, he'd just go along with his friends to keep them from obsessing over him.
"I'll be fine. It's no big deal."
"You always say that." sniffed Hermione with a smile.
"And when haven't I meant it?" Harry asked.
"I say, let's lose the crowd outside and hit the town. We can go to muggle London, do some shopping, and have lunch, then hit a pub. It'll be great!"
"That sounds like fun, Harry. Say you'll come. Please?" Hermione begged.
"Yeah. Okay." Harry responded, surprising his friends. He could test out his plan right away. The trio left Harry's building at a run. Screaming women with ages spanning several decades shrieked and gave chase.
It was a bit of a lark trying to lose the admirers. It felt somewhat like their school days, running through the castle after curfew. Harry found himself laughing at their exploits. It felt really good to laugh. As they ran throughout Diagon Alley, ducking into shops and hiding behind corners, they seemed to pick up more followers than they were losing. Luckily, even the most ambitious of them tired after awhile and the crowd thinned out enough for them to make way to the archway separating the muggle world from the magical one.
As they meandered about in muggle London, Harry mentally checked out areas to live, possible jobs and places he'd like to visit. He'd get himself a television, a stereo, maybe even a computer… a car? He quickly vetoed himself on the car. He wouldn't need one. If he couldn't take the train or the Underground, He could always apparate wherever he wanted to go. Harry was pleased to find his plan might actually work. The hard part would be to tell his friends about it. He's talk to Hermione first. She was the most sensible and as a muggleborn had extensive knowledge of the world he would soon re-enter. Once she was convinced of the brilliance of the plan, she could help tell Ron.
Hermione left them for her date with Blaise after only one drink at the pub. "I'll stop by later to make sure you're alright." she'd told Harry before she left. He would talk to her then, he decided. Ron was ready to leave a short time later. He was very secretive about his plans, however Harry didn't press. He had enough secrets that he didn't begrudge his friend for having them.
"I need to talk to you about something." Ron told Harry as they arrived back at his flat.
"What is it?" Harry asked.
"Luna and I got married a couple of weeks ago."
"What?" Harry exclaimed. "When?"
"It was right before you and Ginny broke up. We eloped. Hermione's known since a couple of weeks ago. I couldn't tell you right after you and Ginny, you know."
"Did you tell your parents yet?" asked Harry.
"I told them last night after you left. I was trying to say it earlier to get them off you."
"Well I think it is brilliant, mate. Congratulations." Harry said sincerely.
"Thanks, mate." Ron returned.
A few hours later, Hermione stopped by as promised. Harry was again staring into the fire, planning his new life.
"Are you alright?" she asked him softly.
"Fine. Fine." he said a bit too quickly.
"No you're not," she replied. "I know you're not."
"Did you read the article she wrote?" asked Harry.
"No," Hermione answered simply. "I don't care what she has to say about your relationship. It's over. She hurt you. Nothing else matters to me."
"I'm not hurt," Harry protested.
"Yes, I know," Hermione responded in an exasperated voice. "You are strong and brave and all the rest of that tripe."
"Hermione…" Harry began.
"It's true," she said. "You won't admit to even having feelings, much less what you are feeling. You think you are so mysterious and aloof, but that's a lie. Your eyes give you away. One look in your eyes will tell me what I need to know."
"You think so, do you?" Harry slightly amused.
"Yes," she responded.
"In that case come over and have a good look, if you want. You'll see that I am fine."
Hermione went over to sit close beside him. She took his face in her hands and stared deeply into his eyes. A small gasp escaped her.
"See," he said. "I am fine."
"You're feeling ashamed," she started, "and exposed. Betrayed. You want to hide like you did after Voldemort died."
"You saw all that, did you?" Harry asked.
"Yes," said Hermione. "Do you deny it now?" Her eyes were full of concern.
Harry heaved a huge sigh. "No, I don't," he responded. "I'm going away, Hermione. I can't take this. I…I…need to get away. I'm going to give the muggle world a try for a bit. You know, get a flat..."
"You have a flat."
"…maybe a muggle job."
"You have a job - one that you love."
"Hermione, please listen to me. She told them about the two of us… alone… together… complete with a critique. She told the world about my innermost thoughts. Who does that to someone? I mean, you and Ron know all this stuff and have done for years. I can't deal with it. I can't. Ron's parents think I'm some sort of cad. I just…" Harry broke off unable to continue.
"I understand, Harry," Hermione said finally. "I don't agree with it, but I do understand your reasoning."
"Thanks, Hermione. That means a lot."
After Hermione left, Harry went out on his balcony, trying to ignore the rowdy horde below on the street. He felt like he was on stage. He went back in with a groan and headed for the shower.