Too Much Too Soon
Chapter 19
Too Much Too Soon
Harry awoke alone with a raging headache. His tongue felt like he'd eaten his pillow. He opened his eyes to see Hedwig approaching with a mouse in her beak.
"A mouse?" he asked. "What are we celebrating?"
The owl dropped the mouse to the bottom of her cage and flew over to Harry and nipped his ear lovingly.
Lupin entered carrying the post. "Hedwig has been hiding your mail." he said. "It seems there are two females in this house taking care of you. How are you feeling, son?"
"With the exception of a terrible hangover, not bad," Harry stated.
"Hermione is bringing you a headache draught." Lupin explained. "You didn't sleep much."
"It was….difficult to sleep." Harry explained. "I'll take a kip later."
"Ron and Luna told me of her idea. What are your thoughts?" Lupin asked as he assisted Harry with his morning routine.
'I'm not sure," replied Harry honestly. "I mean, I'll do anything to get better, to get moving again. Dear Merlin, I'd love to be able to take care of things by myself, and if this allows me to do that, I'm all for it. I just…" Harry hesitated. "I'm just not sure if I could handle it if it didn't help. I've been trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I can't be an Auror anymore. There's nothing else I've ever wanted to do. I don't know…"
"Talk to Kingsley and Tonks when they get here," Lupin suggested. "Kingsley has been around the block a few times. He'll be able to direct you. I'm sure they won't care about what's down here…" Lupin pointed towards Harry's lower body. "When what you have here…" he pointed at Harry's head, "is what allowed them the success the department is enjoying."
Lupin broke off at the sound of a knock at the door. "Are you decent?" Ron asked before entering.
"Yeah, come on in," Harry replied as Lupin pulled the blankets over him.
"I'll let you two talk," Lupin said. "I have a few things to take care of at my new flat." Lupin smiled.
"Is it okay for you?" asked Harry.
"It is magnificent," answered Lupin with a wink. "I set up a potions lab in one of the spare bedrooms and fortified that cupboard to lock myself into for full moon. One of the rooms is now a library. You'll have to see what I've done with it."
Harry nodded with a grin. Remus took his leave. Ron sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Ready to head down?" Ron asked. "Winky made all of your favorites for breakfast…"
"I've been given clearance from Healer Granger to use magic whenever I want, so I think I'll apparate to the drawing room. Is it ready for me?"
"Actually, if you want to apparate to breakfast, then just pop over there," Ron said waving a hand toward the double doors that led to Harry's balcony.
Harry was gone. Ron laughed and opened the doors. "That didn't take any convincing," he joked.
Harry was reclining on the chaise enjoying the sun on his face, sipping his tea. "Can you smell that?" Harry asked.
"Smell what?"
"The flowers, the grass…" he answered. "I could stay here all day and just breathe."
"I know your legs are a bit wonky yet, but what about the rest of you?"
"I'm fine, Ron," Harry grumbled, his mood darkening at the inquiry.
"Good," Ron responded. "I was thinking that if only your legs were acting up, then maybe a quick flight on a Firebolt could liven things up a bit."
"I don't thank that is a good idea at all," complained Hermione. "What if he falls?"
"Has Harry ever fallen off his broom before?"
"YES!" shouted Hermione. Harry watched his friends argue, his head turning as if he were watching a tennis match.
"Has he ever fallen off without other influences, like dementors?"
"No, but…"
"Look at his face, Hermione," Harry made the face of a denied toddler. "Can you tell me you would deny him this chance? I won't let him go too fast or too high. He's saved our bloody world twice…" Harry made a face normally found on a superhero in a comic book. "You'd think he's earned a quick flight. Give him something that he can control, Hermione. Give him a chance to decide where he wants to go and get there under his own steam."
"Honestly, Ron," she muttered. "Alright, but please be careful"
"I will. I promise," Harry swore.
"No dives or loops," Hermione cautioned. "I'll be watching."
Ron assisted Harry in getting on his jeans and trainers. Harry tied his nightshirt up out of the way. Ron levitated Harry back to the balcony.
"I'll get the brooms, Harry. You just stay here and look confidant, in case Hermione comes back."
"I heard that," Hermione stated from the other side of the balcony.
"Can't I just summon my broom?" Harry asked.
"Be my guest," answered Ron. "Grab mine while you're at it."
Harry raised a hand and said firmly, "Accio Firebolt," raised his other hand and stated, "Accio Ron's broom."
Within a few seconds two brooms were hurtling toward the balcony. Harry grabbed them both. Ron leaned his own broom against the railing and helped Harry maneuver onto his. Harry didn't wait for Ron. He just sped through the air, his hair brushed back by the wind.
Ron caught up to him easily and noticed the look of pure joy on Harry's face. They flew silently back and forth across the field. After an hour, Ron noticed Hermione up on the balcony beckoning them.
"We need to head back, mate. Hermione is calling us."
Harry acknowledged him with a bow of his head, turned back and headed for the house. Harry hovered by the side of the railing.
"Kingsley and Tonks are here. They want to talk to you."
"Okay," said Harry as he steered his broom over the railing and into the house. Hermione hadn't expected Harry to fly in. Ron landed and followed Hermione inside, shaking with laughter.
"There he is," called Tonks. "Wotcher, Harry"
"Hi, Tonks…Sir…" he greeted his guests from his broom. He gave Tonks a one arm hug and shook hands with his superior.
"Harry Potter!" shouted Hermione. "What is the meaning of this, flying through the house on a broom? You could have hurt yourself and set back your recovery!"
Harry had the sense to look sheepish. "I didn't want to keep them waiting" he explained.
Harry saw Ron and Hermione exchange a silent conversation he didn't understand. Harry remained on his hovering broom. He followed the group into the drawing room and floated by the fireplace.
"How are you doing, Harry?" Shacklebolt asked genuinely.
"I'm fine" he answered automatically
"Really, Harry," said Tonks. "Seriously, how are you?"
"I don't know," he answered truthfully. I seem to fine above the belt. Let's leave it at that, shall we? Let's talk about work. What's going on? What can I do to help?"
"Right now…" said Shacklebolt, "…we are matching evidence with the confessions and comparing what the prisoners are saying with what we already know. There has only been one raid in your absence."
"It's been dead boring, if you ask me," said Tonks. "We thought about saving the paperwork for you, seeing it's your favorite, but alas it's all done as well for now."
"What about Malfoy?" asked Harry. "Are the charges going to stick this time?"
"Curious thing about Malfoy," Tonks began. "We've got enough evidence on him for him to qualify to be kissed. He's been busy screaming that he's innocent. He's saying he was under Imperious. Do you know that he can't fight the Imperious Curse?"
"I don't know," Harry answered. "He couldn't back in fourth year, but who could?"
"Besides yourself, you mean," corrected Shacklebolt.
"Yeah, well…" stammered Harry "…I've always been a bit on the edge of what's considered normal anyway."
"Potter, I hear you've mastered wandless magic. Last time we tested, you were a bit uncontrolled."
"I've got it down okay," said Harry. "Were you able to locate my wand?"
"Yes, we have it locked in at Headquarters," said Shacklebolt. "The prisoners think it is the key to your power. We've allowed them that belief. As long as they are underestimating us, the more of a lead we have."
"I agree there," said Harry. "I don't really need it for other than sentimental reasons."
Harry was starting to perspire from the effort of holding himself erect on his floating broom. His grasp on the handle tightened in the effort of hiding this weakness.
Dobby popped in with a sharp crack. "Harry Potter's lunch is ready. Harry Potter must be eating his lunch so Harry Potter is healing better."
Harry smiled and thanked Dobby. "Care to join us?" he asked his superior. "I'm sure there is more than enough."
"We'd love to," answered Shacklebolt. Harry flew slowly through the house and outside. Once on the patio, he apparated into a chaise, grateful to relax his body again. Winky brought a cool wet cloth for him to wash up with. Harry raked it over his flushed face.
"Are you sure you're alright, Harry?" Hermione asked with concern.
"I'm fine," he responded. "Please sit down," he told his guests waving a hand toward the table as he levitated the smaller table towards him.
"Great place you have, Potter," said Shacklebolt as Tonks nodded her agreement.
"Thanks, though I can't take any credit for it. Hermione and Lupin found it. They took charge of everything. I'm really pleased with the home they've created for me. "
Hermione reddened at the compliment. Harry only picked and prodded at his stew. He forced down a few bites before pushing the small table away from himself.
"Are you finished?" Hermione asked him noticing his mainly untouched plate.
Harry glared at her mollycoddling and ignored the question. "So, the trials should start soon?" he asked.
"This fall," Tonks answered. "There won't be many. Most of them have confessed and pleaded guilty. That sure makes our job easier."
"Since you brought it up, Potter, the Ministry wants to award you and hold a celebration in your honor. Just tell us when and it will happen."
"That's not necessary, sir. I was just doing my job," Harry responded. He had been hoping against this.
"Be that as it may, I feel it is imperative to officially announce, not only this latest victory, but the defeat of Voldemort, as well. There are some that still think the Ministry is covering things up and only a proclamation from you will end speculation. Think on it, will you?"
"I will, sir," Harry mumbled.
"We'd best be getting back," Tonks announced. "You looked good on your broom. Get some rest. You'll be back on your feet in no time."
"Thanks, I will," stated Harry.
After his guests had gone, Hermione looked at Harry, noticing he was trembling and perspiring. "You did too much today. Why didn't you lay down sooner? Tonks and Kingsley would have understood…"
"I just couldn't. Leave it, Hermione." Harry huffed.
Hermione drew her wand. "I need to check you," she stated. Harry closed his eyes and nodded. "I need to ask you some questions that might be uncomfortable for you…Want to talk out here or on the couch?"
Harry squeezed his eyes tighter in dread. "Here is fine," he said.
"Have you had any trouble with the loo?" she asked nonchalantly while running her wand in front of him, registering its color changes.
"I haven't been in a loo in nearly four months. If you are asking if I've had difficulty evacuating, then no, I haven't."
"You wouldn't lie to your Healer, would you?" she teased.
Harry sighed. "What would be the point? I know you have discussed it with Remus. He'd tell you whatever you ask and you wouldn't be the Hermione I know, if you hadn't asked him."
Hermione smiled. "Have you had an erection since your injury?"
"Hermione!" he yelped, his eyes wide in astonishment. "I'm not answering that."
"I am your Healer, Harry. Healer Strankford would ask as well. Just answer yes or no."
"No," he whispered.
"No, you haven't or no, you won't answer," she prodded.
"No, I haven't" he said even softer.
"Is that odd for you?" she asked.
"Odd?" he queried.
"Do you frequently go long periods of time without waking with an erection or at any other time?"
"Drop this, Hermione, please?" he begged.
"If you are uncomfortable talking about this with me, I can ask Healer Strankford over…"
"NO!" Harry interrupted. He thought talking to a stranger about this would be much worse. "Well, I haven't exactly had much to get excited over lately, have I?"
"No sexual thoughts or fantasies passing through your mind?" she asked.
"No, not really," he answered. "My mind has been a bit preoccupied of late."
"What about dreams? Anything there?" She made a point to keep her eyes averted from his, knowing if she looked him in the eye, he'd be finished talking. It was best to keep the examination clinical.
"No… nothing. I've had the usual nightmares, nothing else."
"I need to do more research, but my best guess is that your 'anatomy' so to speak, is fine. Your mind might need a bit of refreshing."
"Really?" Harry asked relieved. He had noticed but kept it to himself. "When will you know for sure?"
"I can conduct an experiment now, with your permission"
"What…what…what kind of experiment?" he asked with dread. "Before you answer that, I'd like to ask you something. You've moved here to take care of me. Your things are here with a few exceptions, namely Crookshanks. Would you consider making the move permanent?"
"Why, Harry?" she asked.
"Well, we are friends, aren't we? We can be roommates, as well. I know you love this house. I'm not looking forward to living alone again. There is plenty of room and I've become used to our conversations, not this one mind, this one is dreadful, but our dinner conversations have kept me going these last few weeks. Would you think about it?"
"I will think about it, Harry. I'm glad I've been here to keep you company. This hasn't been easy for you."
"Thanks," he responded.
"Now back to the subject. I'd like you to try and pleasure yourself, then let me know if it was successful."
Harry was aghast. "I can't do that!" he said with a shudder. "No way!"
"I can leave, if that would help," she offered.
"Nope… can't do it," he refused.
"I'm sure you have one of those magazines around…" she said with a sneer. "Most men do, you know."
"When have I ever been 'most men'?" he grumbled.
"Let's just go inside. You can catch a kip and we can talk more after dinner. Remus wants to sleep at his flat tonight. I think he may have a date..."
Harry filed that information away to tease Lupin about later. Harry was feeling much better since he'd been lying down. The trembling had tapered to a minimum. He apparated to his space on the couch and settled in.