Harry's Tales
Chapter 31
Harry's Tales
After several hours of silent communication with Shacklebolt, it was Harry's turn to enter the courtroom. As he had expected, Draco Malfoy was being tried by the entire Wizengamot. There were many new faces peering down at him than when he'd been tried back in fifth year. Amelia Bones, now Minister Bones, was presiding. He saw Malfoy in the chair Harry had once occupied, except the chains that had lain dormant at Harry's trial were secured firmly around Malfoy's wrists and ankles. Draco sat there with his customary sneer on his face as if he were the one in charge.
"Officer Potter, please bear with me for the first few questions, as we all know the answers. We need some things stated for the record…"
"Yes, Minister Bones," he answered.
"Officer Potter, please be seated."
"I can't."
"Please state the reason for your refusal."
"I am wearing a brace to support my weight, rather than my legs."
"Why would you need this brace?"
"I suffered injuries during my captivity that make it necessary."
"What type of injuries did you sustain?"
"Reducto curses took out my knees and shattered my legs."
"Who cursed you?"
"I'm not certain."
"How has this affected your career? Are there long term ramifications?"
Harry was going to enjoy this. He leveled a look right at Malfoy, who was almost gleefully awaiting the answer. "I was forced to resign as an Auror, Minister Bones." Draco smiled in what could only be described as pride. Harry was waiting for this. "However my career has not suffered. In fact, I have done very well since the attack. I am now a Head of the Department of Ministry Intelligence." Harry saw the amusement drain from Malfoy's face and found that it was as enjoyable as he'd expected.
"Please tell us in your own words what happened on the day of Mr. Malfoy's last hearing."
Harry related his version of what happened to the rapt gallery. He stole glances over at Malfoy, who listened and beamed as if being praised for his actions.
When he was finished, he was asked to relate the raids leading up to the trial and the evidence he had collected regarding Malfoy and the events of the Final Defeat. With all of Harry's evidence submitted, he was dismissed. He stole a look over at Malfoy, who was starting to get the tiniest glimmer of fear in his eyes. The pointy-faced man had no idea the mountain of evidence against him was so compelling. Harry gave him a wink as he left.
Harry was exhausted. He'd just told some of his worst experiences of his life to a room filled with virtual strangers. It wasn't as bad as the article was, but he still felt exposed. He was glad it was over. He'd seen Hermione at the Ministry; however she walked the other direction upon seeing him. He poured himself a glass of wine and retreated to the balcony leading from his bedroom. He knew he couldn't hide from his house elves and their attempts to "feed him up properly", but he owed it to himself to try and postpone the hassle.
If he were interested, he knew the sunset would be breathtaking from the other balcony. He wasn't interested. He wanted to lie on his chaise and refrain from thinking. He felt wrung out and bone weary. He decided to escape his troubled thoughts by grabbing a kip right where he was.
Harry was startled awake by the storm in progress. He knew he wasn't in the safest place, but was reluctant to move. He was too tired to attempt to levitate himself to a standing position anyway. As the lightning flashed and the thunder rumbled, Harry laid on his chaise, getting soaked to the skin.
"Harry Potter, sir, mustn't be sleeping like this. You is needing a nice warm bath before dinner."
"I'm fine, Dobby" he muttered, shivering and wet.
"Miss will be angry with Dobby, if Harry Potter is getting ill. Miss says to Dobby she is trusting Dobby to take care of Harry Potter, because Harry Potter isn't doing it himself!"
"Hermione was here?" Harry asked. "When?"
"Miss stopped by this afternoon, Harry Potter, sir."
Harry felt disgruntled that she had come again when she knew he wouldn't be there. He felt the anger creep back into his conscious thought. Suddenly he was too restless to sleep. He levitated to a standing position. Dobby returned to let Harry know his bath was ready.
Harry went into the loo and struggled out of his sodden brace, thinking of the day when he'd no longer need them. He'd contacted Madam Pomfrey via owl post and arranged to treatment for the following night. He worm-crawled into the tub and let his thoughts carry him away.
"I love to watch you when you think you are alone," Hermione stated. "You are always so inexpressive, but in unguarded moments, I can almost read your mind."
"Oh, yeah?" he queried. "What am I thinking?"
"Let's see…when you first came out, you were thinking of how nice it is to be fairly mobile again. Then, you remembered what occurred between us last night and were flooded with second thoughts."
"Not second thoughts exactly…" he corrected. "Disbelief, yes…astonishment, absolutely. The rest of your pronouncement was spot on."
"How can she know me so well and still misjudge me so very badly?" he asked aloud to no one in particular.
"Because she was scared…" came the answer from the doorway. "May I come in?" Lupin asked. "I've come to see if you needed help."
"Enter," returned Harry grabbing a towel for modesty. With all Lupin had been aiding him with, he knew it was ridiculous, but it made him feel better so he did it.
"Before I get out, I want to show you something," said Harry. He walked across the length of the pool and back before reclining to be lifted out. Lupin levitated Harry out of the water and suspended him to replace the braces.
"That was amazing, Harry!" proclaimed Lupin. "What did your Healer say?"
"I am almost a point where my legs can bear my weight. I have an appointment at Hogwarts for my last round of treatment, and then I see him again for a final determination. He thinks I'll be to a point where I'll be on my own. I'll have to take that one potion, probably for the rest of my life. If that's the worst, then I can count myself lucky. The bone strengthening potion isn't as bad as some."
"What are you going to do about Hermione?" Lupin asked gently as he tugged Harry down the steps.
Harry removed himself from Lupin's grasp as soon as they reached the bottom. "What can I do?" he asked. "She broke the engagement, not me." Harry waved a hand toward the bar where the emerald ring sat where she'd left it.
"Did you give her any choice?" Lupin asked. "I'm not accusing you of anything, Harry" the older man stated at Harry's scowl. "I'm trying to help you sort out what you want to happen next. Now, I asked, 'did you give her any choice?' Harry, think back to when you first heard about the prophecy. That was life altering information. Think of how you felt, how you wanted to pull away from everyone, especially Dumbledore, who you subconsciously blamed for your turmoil. I'm guessing that Hermione was in a similar state of mind."
"I remember that. I wanted to be around people, but when I was around them, I wanted to be alone. I couldn't decide what I wanted. That part I understand. What I don't understand is why not talk to the person involved? The prophecy set me apart from everyone. It took both of us to create a baby. She should have come to me. I begged her for weeks."
"I'm not saying she acted rationally. I bet if anyone asked her, she'd be the first to admit she'd acted foolishly," Lupin stated.
"If anyone asked her but me, you mean. I can't take this, Remus. She acts like she doesn't even recognize me at times, then others she's all over me. I don't know what to expect."
"She was all over you?" Lupin asked surprised.
"At St Mungo's, after my examination. She asked me not to testify, and then she kissed me."
"How did you react?" Lupin asked.
"Not the way she wanted apparently. At the Ministry, she was back to pretending I was a stranger," Harry hung his head at the memory.
"How do you think she wanted you to respond?"
"It wasn't hard to guess. Let's just say she wanted a deeper kiss than I was comfortable with." said Harry, his face going red.
"I'm not trying to pry. I'm just trying to determine where her head is. So, she kissed you and you didn't respond…"
Harry replied, "I didn't say that exactly." He exhaled loudly before continuing. "I kissed her back. I just…I…held myself in check. Yeah, I held myself in check."
Lupin laughed heartily at Harry's discomfort. "What do you mean you held yourself in check?"
"You want me to spell it out?" Harry almost shouted.
"If you don't mind" stated Lupin firmly. "Like I said, I'm trying to figure out what happened to today and why."
"I'm not at all comfortable talking about this" Harry admitted. "She kissed me. I kissed her in return. She…she…I didn't want to get into a 'Tongue Tango' in the middle of St Mungo's, alright? And then arrive at the Ministry 'pitching a tent', so to speak. Merlin's Beard, I would have loved to just take her right there!"
"You love her. You miss her. Why don't you go and get her?" simplified Lupin.
"She doesn't want me!" Harry shouted.
"Consider for a moment, if you will, that you had kissed her and she'd backed away. Would you feel embarrassed? Would you be intent on avoiding her? Would that stop you from wanting her?" Lupin explained. "She could possibly be waiting for you to make the next move, unwilling to be turned down again."
"I didn't turn her down," Harry admitted. "I just didn't give her what she wanted. Ah, I see your point. I didn't start this! She's always on me. 'Talk to me, Harry", "You can't keep this all bottled up, Harry', or 'It'll be better if you talk about it, Harry'. I didn't see her doing much talking when I was begging her to see me!"
"I purchased new barware, if you want to have a go of it." Lupin offered. "Some of the old didn't quite take to the Reparo charm after their…er…flight."
Harry felt a pang of guilt at the thought of causing Lupin to shop for new barware. "Er…no, I don't think that's necessary right now."
"Want me to ask Hermione over? I can leave discreetly if it goes well."
"I doubt she'll come if I'm here and I don't want to trick her into talking to me. That wouldn't be fair to her. Ask her if you want."
"I'll ask her if you want. Didn't you say once how much you hated eating alone? Besides, Dobby will be ecstatic to see the two of you together. He's been very upset."
"I noticed," Harry grumbled. His house elf had been spying on Harry for days as if to make sure his employer wasn't going mad.
Lupin tossed a bit of floo powder into the fire and stuck his head in. Harry went into the kitchen to avoid looking anxious. He found Winky hard at work preparing a large ham for dinner. Harry pinched off a bit and put it in his mouth.
"You is going to ruin Master Potter's dinner. You is getting out of Winky's kitchen."
"Hi, Winky," said Harry ignoring her chastisement. "I was never allowed to sample prior to dinner before. The ham is very good."
Winky got a soft look in her eyes. "Master is to be careful not to be sneaking too much. You is not to ruin your dinner. Winky is making up for Master's bad treatment as a child."
Harry felt guilty about playing the deprived child card with the house elf, but not badly enough to stop snacking on the delicious dishes she was making. He tried a finger of icing here, a green bean there. When he was satisfied that he'd tried everything, he went back into the living room.
Lupin turned from the fireplace, soot in his hair. "She's coming," he said proudly.
"She knows I'm home?" asked Harry.
"Yes. I asked her join us for dinner. I'm sure Winky made nearly a feast."
"Ah!" Harry groaned. "It's wonderful! She caught me picking at the ham. We chatted and now I can sample whatever I want!"
"You gave a house elf a guilt trip? You should be ashamed." Lupin admonished with a smirk.
"Yes, I should…" Harry agreed, and then gave Lupin a wicked grin. "But I'm not. I remember Dudley standing over my aunt's shoulder trying a piece of this and a bite of that…I tried it once. It didn't work out as well for me."
"What happened?" asked Lupin.
"I was locked in my cupboard for a week. They let me out to use the loo, of course." Harry shrugged. "That's why going to Hogwarts was so great. I could do as I pleased, once I got over the fear of being chucked out that is."
Hermione arrived wearing a very short skirt and tight blouse under her open robes. Lupin guessed immediately she had reconciliation on her mind. He also knew that once he got them talking and was no longer needed to referee, he was free to go. His plan had worked perfectly. Tonks would be waiting for him at his flat. If he played his cards right, he could even count on dinner with his girlfriend. Lupin chanced a look in Harry's direction. Yep, he thought to himself, this won't take long at all.
"Thank you for coming, Hermione. Harry, close your mouth and say hello to your guest."
"Hi…" said Harry shyly.
"Hi…" Hermione returned with even more trepidation.
"Hermione, Harry was telling me earlier how much he liked the kiss you gave him at St Mungo's and how he wished he could have continued it, if it were a better time and place." Lupin began which earned him a stern glare from Harry.
"You said that?" Hermione asked, her voice sounding hopeful. Harry gave a shy affirmative shake of his head.
"And, Hermione told me how much she's missed you, Harry, how she regrets avoiding you."
It was Hermione's turn to glare at Lupin as Harry looked at her.
"Now, that I've got you both sufficiently angry with me, thereby giving you a common starting point, I have a date and you have dinner waiting..."
Harry escorted Hermione into the dining room where Winky had laid the table with the ham, vegetables and candles. Harry noticed she had arranged it where even though the table could seat twelve; the settings were placed so that it seemed to be an intimate table for two complete with wine.
Harry assisted Hermione with her chair and wished he could join her at the table. Suddenly the chair and table legs grew longer so that Harry could join in. He wished he'd thought of that before.
"Thanks," he murmured to her. He didn't know why after all of these years he suddenly felt so timid. Timid had never been a word to describe him to his knowledge. Well, there was the Cho Chang thing back in fourth year, but he had been very young then.
"This looks really good," Hermione commented.
"It is really good," replied Harry. "I nicked a few bites in the kitchen when Winky was preparing it."
"Winky let you?" Hermione asked with a laugh. She couldn't see Winky allowing 'Master Potter' to touch a bite until dinner.
"She said and I quote, 'Master is to be careful not to be sneaking too much. You is not to ruin your dinner'" Harry used a falsetto voice vaguely resembling the house elf.
"How did you get her to agree?"
"I may have used a bit of Potter charm…" He paused for effect. "When that failed spectacularly; I told her a story of when I had tried to nick a bit at the Dursley's. Everything you see here has been personally tested by me."
"Tell me the story, please." Hermione requested.
"I will if you'll tell me what happened to us."
Hermione nodded her agreement and sipped her wine.
"Well, I was about seven, I suppose, and Dudley had been standing over his mother and sneaking little bites of this and that as she made Christmas dinner. I had been sent to bed without supper the night before for something…anyway I didn't get much breakfast. You learn to eat quickly with Dudley around. I was ravenous and didn't think dinner would get there soon enough. I noticed Dudley's success and tried it myself. I hovered behind her, complimented the food and then nicked a bit of roast beef. She started yelling and clanged me upside of my head with the teakettle she was holding. Uncle Vernon came asking what I had done this time and she told him. This whole time, Dudley was stuffing his cheeks of anything within reach. I got the 'Ungrateful brat taking the food off our table, the clothes off our backs' speech and tossed in my cupboard. The funny part is that Dudley had eaten so much while they were yelling at me, there was almost nothing left!" Harry snickered at the memory. He quickly noticed that he was the only one laughing. "It was a long time ago. I was only locked in for three days. It wasn't a big deal."
"How can you say that?" she asked quietly. "Look at how they treated you!"
"I had to stay there for my protection, Dumbledore's orders. There wasn't any alternative until I could defeat Voldemort. But, listen to me; I don't want to spoil dinner by talking about the Dursley's. In fact I believe it is your turn for storytelling…however, I'm willing to give you a reprieve until after we eat."
"That's kind of you, sir" she teased. A silence filled the room as if neither knew what to say. Harry knew what he wanted to say, but was glad he'd postponed their talk until after dinner.
Feeling quite full, the couple went into the other room to talk. Hermione sat down on the couch. "I'm sorry, Harry, really I am. I was only thinking of myself and how I would handle having a baby. I didn't once consider your feelings."
Harry moved around the room. He never missed pacing as much as he did at this moment. "You should have known my feelings, Hermione. You should have known. Who is the one always trying to get secrets out of me? 'Tell me about it, Harry. You'll feel better' or 'Tell me your innermost feelings, Harry. I know you don't want to but do it anyway because I'm going to hound you until you do'. Where was all that?" Harry felt a rage he hadn't felt in years. "Why is it that I have to tell you every single thing that bothers me and you don't? I know you've talked to other people. Why the hell not me!"
She looked frightened for a second. She took a deep breath and agreed, "I know, Harry. I hear what you are saying. What I should have done and what I did are polar opposites. What do you want me to say?"
"Just tell me the truth. Why couldn't you tell me?"
"I was scared, Harry," she said, tears rolling down her cheeks.
He looked at her in disbelief. "Scared of what? Scared of me?"
"Don't be stupid, not scared of you, really, scared of your reaction. Your first instinct with the Sally-Anne thing was to deny it."
"I never made love to Sally-Anne, it's entirely different."
"I know it is, Harry. I made a mistake, I've admitted it. Can you not forgive that?"
"What was the mistake?" he said coldly.
"What…what do you mean?" she replied with trepidation.
"Treating me like I didn't exist, I can understand that. I'm used to it."
"That's not it and you know it!" she shot back.
"If getting pregnant is the mistake that you are sorry for…"
"Harry, you know we aren't ready to be parents. You can't even walk yet…"
"So now, that's a problem for you, is it?" he asked in disbelief.
"Honestly, Harry, of course not! I'm just saying that bringing a child into the world right now isn't the best thing for us."
Harry looked at her as if she were a stranger. "So what would you have done if you hadn't miscarried?"
"We would have figured something out together," she answered.
"Somehow I find that hard to believe."
She looked him in the eye. "Why? Why is it so hard for you to believe that I would have talked to you before any decisions were made?"
"Your actions and words tell me otherwise," he said coldly. "This is exactly why I was hesitant to start this."
"Harry, listen to me, please. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you. I'm sorry I did the same thing to you as I criticize you for doing. We can fix this. I know we can. Please just give us a chance." Tears rolled down her cheeks as she spoke.
"Answer me this, would you have gotten rid of it? Could you do that?"
"I don't know the answer to that, Harry. I truly don't."
Harry's eyes reacted as if shutters had closed over them. "That, right there, tells me this cannot be fixed."
"Harry, please don't say that," She rose and grabbed his arm to prevent him from leaving the room and spun him around. "I love you, Harry, with all my heart. We can get through this. Don't shut me out…"
"You mean like you did to me?" Hermione lowered her eyes to the floor. Harry continued… his eyes still and dry. "I think we both fell in love with a façade. I thought you knew almost everything about me and I knew almost everything about you. We were wrong." He raised her chin so that she had no choice but to look at him. "You know my life and how very badly I've wanted a family of my own, finally after all these years, and if knowing that you can still be relieved that our baby, a life we created, is gone, then I never really knew you. The Hermione that I know would have never done that to me. This isn't about who told who first. This is about the callous way you are describing something I've wished my whole life for, a child who was part of me and part of you. If that baby meant so little to you, then I can't help but realize how little I mean to you." Harry made his way out of the room. She remained where she was and let him go.