*blows on bruises from the thrown items*
Wow…. Some of you guys were really upset with the previous chapter! ><;;;;; Couple flames…
*sigh* it is very iffy… and this chapter is going to be more upsetting…. Most of you have probably figured it out already… those 'Anvil-size' hints… *sighs*…Actually I was surprised at so many of you who caught off the bat…. What it too predictable? Hmmm
*winces*… I'll get more stuff thrown at me after this chapter……*winces*
Must Be Approved By Crookshanks
By: Plumgirl
Summary: Hermione maybe successful and thriving, but she still hears her biological clock ticking. Being one of the only few women her age to still be single, Hermione takes drastic measures that Crookshanks is determined against…
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter… though I wish I did… who doesn't? Ms. JK Rowling owns it…
I squirmed as Hermione tried to put the black bow around my neck. I heard Ron and the twins snicker at me. I glowered at Hermione.
"Oh come on, Crookshanks!" Hermione said, smiling, "I think you look so adorable."
I sniffed. I think a cat my age shouldn't really try to be adorable, but distinguished. Dignified. Although I really haven't been for the past couple of months.
The Burrow was filled with the Weasleys, all trying to get dressed and make the bride look pretty. When Lavender and Parvati came, it got louder. I really got sick of their shrieks and squeals.
Please someone, silencio them.
I watched as Mrs. Weasley was crying over Ginny.
"My baby!" she would sob.
Among the Weasley males, the twins were showing off their suits. Modeling to Bill and Charlie's children.
"We look so dashing, George!" said Fred, catwalking.
"I agree, Fred!" said George, as he made GQ poses.
The kids laughed at their uncles' antics.
Ginny started hyperventilating after she saw herself in the mirror. Hermione had to calm her down because all the other women started panicking too.
I really hope Hermione's wedding will not be like this.
Finally, the bridesmaids and the Weasley clan prepared to portkey to the Malfoy Manor, where the ceremony was to be held. Lavender gave Hermione the small silk pouch where the rings were held. Hermione quickly tied the pouch onto the black bow. Hermione then smiled and held me, preparing to portkey.
I hate to portkey as well. I mean couldn't wizards and witches discover a better method of transportation. One that does leave you covered in ashes, or bad hair from the wind, or dizzy and nauseous?
I grimaced as we arrived at the manor. I noticed Blaise, Harry and Ron waiting, while the groom was somewhere else.
"Looking good, Weasley." Blaise said, with a wink.
Ron frowned, "Hey, that's my sister!"
"Who's about to be married in 30 minutes!" Ginny interrupted.
Lavender and Parvati started squealing again. I decided to explore around and go find Hedwig.
'Hopefully, I won't run into that evil Eagle Owl.' I thought as I made my way into the gardens. I looked at the view from the garden into the Quidditch Pitch that Draco had in the backyard. The posts were decorated with white streamers and there were white chairs and a huge white carpet in between. It led to a white stage decorated with more white streamers and floral arrangements.
I noticed Hedwig sitting on top of one of the chairs.
I was making my way down, when Parvati picked me up. I hissed at her.
"Crookshanks!" Parvati scolded me, "You're part of the ceremony, stay here!"
I was tempted to bite her hand off.
Parvati took me and went towards Hermione who was talking to Harry.
Harry looked a bit nervous and upset.
"Can we talk for a minute, Hermione." Harry said, quietly.
Harry ran his hand through his hair. "I have something important to say."
"Alright." Hermione said, looking at him curiously, with a slight frown on her face, "Is everything alright?"
"Well-
"Hermione!" Parvati said, loudly as she shoved me into Hermione's arms, "Please control Crookshanks. He's been skulking around!"
'I'll bite her later,' I vowed, glaring at her, 'I'll even have Hedwig give her a surprise in her shoe.'
Hermione thanked her and held me gently. She turned back to Harry.
"Yes, Harry?" Hermione said.
Harry looked at Hermione then me. I could tell he felt more nervous with me there.
'Oh come on!' I thought, annoyed, 'I'm just a cat! It's not like I can go tell Ron or Ginny!'
'Although I might tell Hedwig.' I thought.
Harry gave Hermione a small smile. "Maybe later, after the ceremony?"
Hermione smiled, "Alright."
"And you can meet John." Hermione added, smiling, "He's coming to the reception."
Harry turned red.
"Um…about John…" Harry started, looking upset.
"OKAY! LET"S GET DOWN TO THE FIELD!" Lavender hollered, ushering everyone out the backyard.
I glowered at her. 'It just got interesting!'
I watched as we all got in order on the field. I kept looking back at Harry. He seemed really upset. And oddly, he would not meet my gaze. He just kept giving looks to Hermione, who was the maid of honor and paired with Blaise.
I hissed as Parvati poked me with her shoe.
"Go on, Crookshanks!" Parvati hissed, "It's your turn!"
Gosh, I hated her. She better not be invited to Hermione's wedding.
I walked down the white carpet, with Jolie, Bill and Fleur's 5 year old daughter. Jolie seemed to enjoy the attention as she sprinkled the flower petals. Everyone was saying how cute she was, as she walked to the stage, where Draco was waiting. I heard a couple snickers from kids and parents when they noticed me.
'I am never doing this again!' I grumbled.
Finally after all the bridesmaids and groomsman walked down the aisle, I saw Mr. Weasley and Ginny come down the aisle. Immediately I heard Mrs. Weasley bursting into tears again as Bill and Charlie tried to console her.
As the ceremony wore on, I noticed Harry kept giving Hermione looks. He seemed worried about something. He seemed really nervous. Hermione kept on giving curious and worried looks back.
Was he going to tell Hermione that he loved her? But why does he seem so upset about it? I frowned at Harry, thinking of what might be going on.
'Something is off.' I thought, frowning, 'Something is really, really off.'
The bride and groom kissed and everyone cheered. Fred and George kept catcalling and whistling. Mrs. Weasley was still crying and the terror duo, Heckle and Jeckle (AKA Lavender and Parvati), were cheering and shrieking.
I watched as they went down the aisle and everyone prepared to go to the reception. I noted Narcissa Malfoy sniffing in disdain at Mrs. Weasley.
"I don't see why the reception has to be at the Burrow." Narcissa said.
Molly sniffed, "Well I thought people would like a more homely and warm atmosphere rather than a cold, vacant feeling from this huge, vacuous space."
Narcissa scrunched her nose, "But still. Are you sure you can fit this many people at the Burrow, it would be a bit cramped. After all, it is a burrow."
Molly turned red as she put her hands on her hips. Bill and Charlie quickly went to her side.
"Come on, Mum!" Bill said, ushering her away from Narcissa, "We should go to the reception."
I turned back to see Harry and Hermione on the aisle. Hermione was grabbing Harry's arm.
"Is everything alright?" Hermione asked, looking worried.
Harry just looked at her sadly.
"I'm so sorry." He said.
Hermione frowned. "What do you mean?"
As Harry prepared to answer, Parvati shouted to them.
"Come on, Hermione!" Parvati said, "You're sitting at the Head Table!"
Harry sighed as Hermione gave him a sympathetic look.
"We'll talk at the reception." Hermione said, patting his arm.
She left to portkey and Harry just sat in one of the chairs.
What the heck was going on??? I stood in front of Harry, frowning at him.
'I want to know.' I thought, frowning at him.
Harry flinched when he noticed me. Harry gave me a nervous smile. He stood up and picked me up. Harry didn't say anything as we portkeyed to the Burrow. I kept giving him suspicious looks as we walked to the picnic tables in the front yard. He didn't make eye contact with me and just looked forward.
'He feels very guilty,' I sensed. 'And tense.'
He was squeezing me a bit hard. I frowned as I squirmed a bit to loosen his grip on me. He did and I noticed a small, blue, shiny bottle in his coat pocket. I frowned at the bottle.
What was that? I've never seen that before.
'It doesn't look like any type of drink or beverage.' I thought.
Is it medicine? Is he sick? But Harry's in fine shape.
"I frowned at the bottle as Harry let me go on the grass. I just eyed the bottle for a minute. The bottle seemed suspicious.
I don't know, but I think it's a potion of some sort. I frowned as I went to look for Hedwig, to find some answers. I noticed her on a fencepost. She looked a little bit tipsy.
'Hey Crooks!' Hedwig hooted, drowsily, wobbling on the post.
I frowned at her. Was she drunk?!
'Crooks! Crooks! Crooks!' Hedwig hooted, in drunken bliss, 'Crooks! Crooks!'
I frowned at her
'Where'd you get the alcohol?' I meowed to her, warily.
'I got it from the freckled, red-haired duo!' Hedwig hooted, 'Freckles! Freckles! Freckles!'
I sighed. The twins.
'They fed you alcohol?' I asked, frowning.
Hedwig hooted in laughter, 'No! No! I think they put it in my water bottle. It tasted funny!"
I glowered at the twins.
'Ah lighten up, Crooks!' Hedwig hooted, flying down on the ground to me, 'It's a party!'
I just frowned at her. 'This isn't really dignified, Hedwig!'
'Oh pish posh!' Hedwig snorted, 'I'm not the only one. Look at Pig!'
I turned to where Pig was, He was flying above the tables hooting, 'Dolt! Dolt! Dolt!' Until he landed in someone's soup. I grimaced.
Never eat or drink anything offered by the twins.
'You need to drink clean water!' I told Hedwig.
'I'll be fine!' Hedwig hooted, 'Just give me a couple hours! But I'm thirsty. I should drink more water!'
I glowered at her as she flying to her alcohol-tainted water bottle, before she could take a drink I jumped on the post and knocked it over. Hedwig hooted at me angrily. I grabbed the bottle and ran and threw it in the pond. Hedwig glowered at me.
She sniffed as she flew away.
'Hey! Wait!' I meowed to her, 'I need to know something!'
Hedwig ignored me as she flew on the rooftop where Hermes was perched. Hermes frowned at Hedwig, at her inebriated state. I just hissed and went back to the picnic tables.
The speeches by the Maid of Honor and the Best Man were already done. I watched as Hermione look towards the Portkey location. She was looking for John. I noticed Harry watching her and grimacing every time she looked towards the Portkey point.
'Does this have to do with John?' I thought, frowning at Harry. I watched as Harry kept looking at Hermione, looking a bit tense and upset.
So it has something to do with John. I frowned. What was going on?
Okay, John and Hermione have been dating for 3 months.
They correspond for a week through owls before meeting.
Hermione has never been to John's place.
They only communicate through owls.
He's been wonderful to Hermione, and to me. Too nice to me. He knows so much about me.
And John has never met Hermione's friends. He's never met Ron or…Harry.
I frowned as the pieces clicked.
'That bastard.' I thought, glowering at Harry, 'That evil bastard!'
How could he do this to her?! How could he do that?! Deceiving Hermione like that! Deceiving me!
I looked towards the roof where Hedwig was still a bit tipsy and hitting on Hermes. 'No wonder Hedwig was mad.'
'Harry's been using another owl to send letters to Hermione.' I thought, angrily.
I watched as Hermione looked again towards the portkey point. She looked really hopeful, but as the reception wore on she grew more worried and nervous. I felt a pang in my stomach.
'She'll be devastated.' I thought, 'She'll be really, really hurt.'
I sent Harry another reproachful look, but he was too busy watching Hermione.
I stalked towards the back of the Burrow. I needed to think. I wouldn't mind revealing Harry posing as John. I would take much pleasure in gouging his eyes out. But what about Hermione? She'll take this hard. I frowned at the thought. No matter which way she'll get hurt. She has to find out, but not here.
'But I'll make sure, he tells her.' I thought, determined, 'I'll make him pay.'
***
As the party wore down, I noticed Hermione looking a bit upset.
'Of course she would be.' I thought bitterly, 'Harry's here so John can't be.'
I watched Harry get more upset as Hermione grew more upset. Finally I saw him get out of his chair and head behind the Burrow. I decided to follow him. JOHN better NOT be making an appearance. As I scampered to catch up with him, I heard Pig following.
'Dolt! Dolt! Dolt!' Pig hooted to me, affectionately, still drunk.
I glowered at him.
'Don't follow me!' I hissed, but Pig ignored me.
I ran faster, to lose Pig. As I headed to the back, I saw Harry take out the bottle, he was going to drink it. I ran to stop him, when Pig flew out of nowhere and collided with me and Harry.
Harry cried out in surprise as Pig kept hooting, 'Dolt! Dolt! Dolt!' Some of the potion, Harry had consumed, but most of it fell on the grass. I went to sniff it. It smelled familiar. It was the essence of John. I turned and glowered at Harry. Harry looked at me nervously as I saw him transform. Since he only took a small amount, the transformation wasn't complete, but he looked like John. And Harry.
I glowered at him. Harry stood up and gave me an apologetic look.
"I'm sorry, Crookshanks." Harry said, remorsefully as he tried to pick me up.
I hissed at him and gave him a good, hard bite. Harry yelped out in pain. Hedwig flew down to us, when she heard Harry's cry.
'What's going?' Hedwig hooted, noticing Harry's injured hand. Hedwig was still a bit drunk.
'You were right!' I meowed angrily, 'Harry was deceiving you! He was deceiving us all!'
'What?' Hedwig said, bewildered, 'What are you talking about?'
'That bastard tricked Hermione and me!' I meowed angrily, 'He pretended to be another person and made Hermione fall in love with him!'
'That's not possible!' Hedwig hooted, indignantly, 'Harry's not like that!'
'You said so before!' I hissed back, 'He's a liar, a cheater and a deceiver! He's nothing but scum!'
'You watch your mouth!' Hedwig hooted glaring at me, 'I won't have you talk about Harry that way!'
'Well he is!' I meowed back, angry, as I got in a defensive pose.
Hedwig glared at me. She looked ready to peck me. I didn't care I would have plucked out all her feathers!
Pig was still hooting and Harry got nervous with me and Hedwig's attitudes. Harry tried to calm Hedwig down. I hissed at them. Then I noticed the empty bottle.
'You're going down, bastard.' I thought angrily, as I grabbed the bottle and ran to Hermione. Harry panicked as he went after me. Soon Hedwig, Harry and Pig were chasing after me. As I turned the corner I ran into Hermione.
'Crookshanks!" Hermione cried, "What's wrong?"
That's when she noticed Pig, Hedwig... and Harry. Hermione frowned at Harry's appearance. Harry's hair was splotches of black and brown and his eyes had turned blue. But his nose, mouth and scar was still intact. Hermione frowned and dropped me, when she realized who it was.
Hermione was white and shaking. She started hyperventilating. I watched as Harry walked towards her, apologizing.
"I wanted to tell you for a long time." Harry said, looking upset, "I wanted to tell you before it got serious between us."
Hermione backed away from him, shaking her head. Harry went forward to her, to touch her arm.
Hermione just stared at him, upset. She shook off his arm, roughly. She raised her right hand and slapped him hard on the cheek. Hedwig and I were startled by the loud slapping noise. Harry didn't look too shocked.
I saw tears in Hermione's eyes as she took out her wand, to apparate. She took a deep breath and was trying to calm herself down. I could tell she was close to bursting into tears. She held out her wand and said the incantation.
"I don't ever want to see you again." Hermione said, unsteadily and coldly, before she disappeared with a 'pop'.
I glowered at Harry who looked devastated. He looked horrible with the incomplete transformation, the bleeding wound on his hand, and the red hand mark on his cheek. I glowered at Hedwig, who seemed confused, but was nipping gently at his fingers, to soothe him.
Harry looked at me sadly. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mea-
I stalked off, ignoring his apology.
It will take more than a measly apology to make things better.
'But I doubt anything would make things better.' I thought bitterly, as I went inside the Burrow.
'You screwed up big time, Potter.'
***
Part 6 Completed
AN: Yes, yes… it was Harry… It was modified type of polyjuice potion…More effective, longer, potent and virtually undetectable…*sigh* he was really, really bad…. *feels bad for making him look so bad*
Some of you were very upset with the idea of Harry being John… because it would be unthinkable… and Hermione getting in bed with a guy she only knew 3 months….I guess my reasons are:
It does get better from now… this is the low point of the story….Someone once mentioned that it's getting more angsty and less humorous… that person had a point… I shall either change the story category or make it more light and fluffy from now… But it'll be hard… Harry's screwed himself over big time…..
Comments and Constructive criticism are always welcome.