Unofficial Portkey Archive

It's been quite awhile and I'm sorry to have made you guys wait so much… As you know, I had some personal problems. I practically had a breakdown and was scared out of my mind for about a week. Fortunately I am much better now… Thank you all for being so patient…

Special thanks to Lumina22 who was kind enough to send me an email inquiring about my well being and to others who left a message asking about my well being as well… Thank you all…

Must Be Approved By Crookshanks

By: Plumgirl

Summary: Hermione maybe successful and thriving, but she still hears her biological clock ticking. Being one of the only few women her age to still be single, Hermione takes drastic measures that Crookshanks is determined against…

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter… though I wish I did… who doesn't? Ms. JK Rowling owns it…

Hermione just stood there for a long time. I started getting nervous after a couple minutes. 'This wasn't a bad idea. Was it?' I thought, nervously.

Finally she quietly moved to the mailbox with her bike, to chain it. I watched Harry just stand on the porch, watching her. He looked the same as usual. Except a bit thinner and more rugged looking. He looked tired with dark circles under his eyes and his five o'clock shadow was quite prominent. He looked like he didn't get a good night's rest.

'Probably with reading all the letters.' I thought, eyeing him critically. I looked at the box he was carry in one hand.

'He better have read every single letter.' I thought, seriously.

I turned to Hermione who was fumbling with the bike chain. Harry watched her struggle a few moments before he went to help her. He gently took the chain from her hands and wordlessly chained the bike. Hermione just watched him without a word. She then grabbed the groceries from her basket and scurried to head inside.

"Hermione." Harry said, stopping Hermione in her tracks.

Hermione didn't turn and slowly walked up the porch steps.

"I've read them." Harry said.

I saw Hermione turn around, looking a bit confused. Harry held up her box of letters. Hermione turned white. She just started at the box for a few moments.

"Where did you get that?" Hermione asked, tersely, clenching the handles of her grocery bags.

Harry looked at her, a bit confused, "You sent them to me on Tuesday night."

Hermione frowned at him looking confused, "No I didn't… I-

Hermione panicked, then glared at me.

'Oh crap' I cowered under her gaze. Hermione had a wild look on her face as she dropped all of her groceries and ran inside. Harry and I jumped at her outburst and a few moments later, she came back with her wand.

'Oh mother of Merlin! I'm going to die!'

I managed to avoid the curse narrowly, by jumping into the bushes. I heard her shriek as she sent another curse my way. I ran away into Mrs. Tibbles' yard. I heard Harry call Hermione's name as she chased after me. I got to Mrs. Tibbles front door and started furiously scratching the front door and meowing loudly. Hermione ran up the steps and stood a few feet from me. She panted heavily for awhile and raised her wand, but Harry managed to grab her arm. Hermione glared at Harry as she tried to yank her arm away, but Harry was too strong.

With a frustrated grown, Hermione gave him a dark look and then deftly kneed him. In the groin. I saw Harry's eyes bulge out in pain as Harry let go of Hermione's arm and crumpled forward.

'Ouch.' I thought, watching Harry whimpering in a fetal position. I notice Hermione flinch at the sight of Harry cowering, but Hermione turned her attention back to me. She was a bit cooled down, but still very angry. I looked around to see if I could escape any where, when the door opened.

"What is going on here?" Mrs. Tibbles cried.

I quickly gave Mrs. Tibbles my most pitiful mew and she quickly picked me up. Hermione was surprised that Mrs. Tibbles was home. Mrs. Tibbles eyed Hermione with a bit of suspicion and then gasped when she noticed Harry on the floor of her porch, still in a fetal position.

Mrs. Tibbles set me down gently and quickly rushed to Harry's side.

"Oh my goodness! Are you alright sir?" Mrs. Tibbles asked, trying to lift Harry up.

Harry moan and winced. With Mrs. Tibbles help, he managed to stand on his feet, but he was still crouched over and had to support himself against the pole. Mrs. Tibbles quickly led Harry into her home and onto her couch. I quickly jumped onto the couch too, lest Hermione got any ideas.

Mrs. Tibbles scurried to the kitchen to get Harry some water, while Hermione took a couple deep breaths and stood by the coat hanger, glaring at Harry or me. I couldn't figure it out.

I saw Kipper fly from the kitchen, sporting a yellow ribbon, hooting cheerfully. She landed on the armrest of the couch and looked at me and Harry oddly.

'Why such a racket, cat?" Kipper hooted to me, cheerfully.

I just watched Hermione closely, just in case she tried anything again.

Mrs. Tibbles quickly came back with the water. Harry motioned to Kipper. Mrs. Tibbles handed Harry the water and encouraged him to drink it. Hermione watched him, feeling a bit guilty, and then glaring at me.

"That owl!' Harry said, after setting the glass down, "She sent me the box on Tuesday night! It wasn't Crookshanks!"

"What box?" Mrs. Tibbles asked, looking at Harry curiously then turning to Kipper, "You sent a box?"

Harry nodded, "Yes, to me, in London."

Hermione glared at me, and I tried to hide behind Harry.

"London!" Mrs. Tibbles said, surprised, "All the way to London!"

Mrs. Tibbles turned to Kipper, "So that's where you've been these past two days!"

Kipper just hooted cheerfully and flew back into the kitchen. I hopped off the couch to join Kipper when Hermione cried out to me.

"Crookshanks! Stop!" Hermione ordered, standing with her wand pointed at me.

"Hermione? What's going on?" Mrs. Tibbles asked, looking a bit worried.

"It wasn't Crookshanks." Harry said, trying to calm Hermione down, "that owl did it!"

"My owl?"

"Yes! Your owl!"

"But what does Kipper have to do with anything?"

"Well she's the reason why Hermione wants to roast Crookshanks!"

"What?!"

"It was Crookshanks!" Hermione shouted, making us all jump.

"HE was the one who grabbed the box of letters!" Hermione said, angrily, "HE was the one who ordered Kipper to go deliver it! And HE was the only one who knew where the box was!"

Mrs. Tibbles and Harry both turned to me. I felt awkward with all the stares.

Harry was silent for a moment then turned back to Hermione, "Well don't hex him."

"He wasn't trying to piss you off." Harry said, staring back at me, "He was trying to help."

Harry looked into my eyes, reading my thoughts and intentions. That boy still knew me too well.

"Well what's going on?" Mrs. Tibbles asked, confused.

Hermione just glanced at Mrs. Tibbles and then at Harry without a word. Seeing that he was going to get an introduction from Hermione, Harry turned to Mrs. Tibbles and offered his hand.

"Hello." Harry said, "I'm Harry. I'm Hermione's fr…I'm umm… Hermione's…

Mrs. Tibbles cut off Harry's nervous rambling. She gave him a look and eyed him. She politely shook his hand.

"I know you." Mrs. Tibbles said, smiling.

"Oh."

"Hermione's told me much about you."

"Oh."

Harry watched Mrs. Tibbles nervously, afraid she might hex him. He actually flinched when Mrs. Tibbles got up.

"Well you must be hungry and tired if you came all the way from London!" Mrs. Tibbles said, as she got up and went to the kitchen.

Mrs. Tibbles came back with a tray of oatmeal cookies and Kipper on her shoulder.

"I just knew there was a reason for baking these cookies today!" Mrs. Tibbles said, friendly as she set the tray on the coffee table in front of Harry. She offered Harry a cookie, then offered one to Hermione. Hermione took the cookie reluctantly, after a look from Mrs. Tibbles. Mrs. Tibbles then handed one to Kipper, who hooted cheerfully and flew onto a loveseat. Mrs. Tibbles smiled at me, as she prepared to hand me a cookie.

"No." Hermione firmly said, glaring at me.

Mrs. Tibbles looked like she was about to protest when Hermione cut her off.

"The vet said he's gained more weight." Hermione said, eyeing me, "No more cookies."

I grumbled.

Mrs. Tibbles just tsked sympathetically at me and offered me a diet treat.

I frowned at the treat. It was as hard as a rock. Just about tasted like one too.

Mrs. Tibbles made friendly conversation with Harry, while Harry was nervously chatting with her. Harry thought that Mrs. Tibbles would explode at any moment and was viewing her with caution.

Hermione didn't say anything and just listened to Mrs. Tibbles and Harry talk, while toying with her cookie. Occasionally I caught her peeking looks at Harry, who was now more relaxed and answering Mrs. Tibbles questions about the muggle London community.

Hermione looked deep in thought.

***

Hermione wordlessly handed Harry a cup of tea. Harry thanked her and continued to look around Hermione's living room. He noticed there were no magical pictures, but a lot of muggle ones. The ones on top of the television were of Hermione and the kids at the daycare center. Harry looked at some of the children's artwork that Hermione had framed on the walls.

He looked surprised at the pictures, but I also saw a hint of a sad smile as he fingered one of the frames.

"You work at a daycare?" Harry asked, looking at a particular picture.

"Yes." Hermione said, quietly.

She watched Harry go around the room, looking at her pictures. Harry chuckled at a particular picture of Hermione and me with the kids. I remember that evil picture.

The kids had put white and yellow bonnets on me and Kipper. Kipper liked the bonnet, but I, of course, hated the god-awful thing. Hermione insisted that I keep it on to please the kids. 'And they took a picture.' I thought darkly.

I should get rid of that picture. 'After Hermione is asleep.' I thought.

Harry finally sat down on the sofa and drank his tea slowly. Hermione just stared into her cup. There was just a long silence.

"Did you read them?" Hermione asked, finally.

"All of them." Harry said, seriously, "I read every single one of them."

'Good boy.' I thought, crouching in my corner, 'Now you know a bit about Hermione's pain.'

Hermione just gave a heavy sigh. She held her cup tightly. There was yet another long silence.

"You wrote so much in the beginning." Harry said, "I stayed up the whole night reading them."

Hermione didn't say anything.

"After reading them all, I knew I had to come see you." Harry said, quietly.

"I thought you sent them to me." Harry said, staring into his cup, "I thought that maybe you might be ready to see me again."

Hermione gave him a sharp look, "See you?"

"Well… I just thought… that you might be ready to hear my apology." Harry said nervously, "Not that I expect you to forgive me or anything!"

"But just hear me out." Harry said, quietly, "I know what I did was unforgivable."

Hermione took a deep breath.

"These past three years," Harry started, "have been hell."

Harry ran his hand through his messy dark hair, as he did I noticed a few grey strands peeking.

'Grey hair?' I thought surprised, 'At his age?'

"After you left, everyone was upset." Harry said, "Ron and Ginny were pissed at me. Everyone was pissed at me."

"They wouldn't speak to me for about a year." Harry continued, "Ron was the hardest to come around."

Hermione looked at him.

"I don't think he's ever forgiven me." Harry said, looking into Hermione's eyes, "I don't think he will."

Hermione lowered her eyes.

"Things between us will never be the same." Harry said, quietly.

"Just like us." Hermione added, quietly.

Harry winced slightly.

"I know." Harry finally said, sadly.

"What you did ruined everything." Hermione said, clenching her cup, "It ruined our friendship, our friendship with Ron and everyone else."

Harry just sighed sadly, "I know."

"I'm not the same person I was anymore." Hermione said steadily, "I'm not the old Hermione you knew."

"And you're not the Harry I knew." Hermione said, her voice quivering, "You've changed as well."

Harry looked sadly at Hermione, as tears began to form in his eyes, "I know."

Hermione was shaking, trying not to cry.

"Why?" Hermione said, "Why did you have to do that?!"

"Why did you have to go and fuck everything up?!" Hermione said angrily.

"I'm sorry." Harry said, quietly.

Tears started pouring down her cheeks.

"Everything was fine before you messed everything up!" Hermione cried, clenching her fists, "WE WERE ALL HAPPY!"

"I HAD A WONDERFUL LIFE, HARRY!" Hermione continued, angrily, "I HAD A GREAT JOB, GREAT FRIENDS AND A GREAT BOYFRIEND! AND YOU HAD TO GO AND FUCK IT UP!"

"WE WERE HAPPY!" Hermione shouted angrily, "WE WERE SO HAPPY!"

"No!" Harry said fiercely, "We weren't!"

Hermione glared at him.

"Think about Hermione!" Harry said, "You weren't happy!"

Hermione was about to protest when Harry cut her off.

"You were so miserable Hermione! You hated fact that you were single so much that you put an ad on that stupid personals column!"

"You were so desperate that you did that!" Harry continued angrily, "You were never satisfied with your life! Your job! You felt something was missing! You weren't happy!"

Hermione glared at him.

"You felt what I felt." Harry said quietly, "You felt a piece of your life missing. You felt alone. You weren't satisfied with life, even with all your accomplishments. You had a great career. I killed the world's greatest threat, Voldemort, and then became an Auror. We both had high profile jobs and reputations. We had a great circle of friends, but we still felt something was missing. After all our accomplishments, we still weren't happy!"

Hermione just watch Harry sit down and put his head in his hands.

"You knew, Hermione." Harry said, quietly, "Deep down, you knew."

Hermione just took a deep breath and just watched him. I saw her struggle with herself internally. She braced herself.

"So does that give you the right to deceive me?" Hermione said defiantly, "Does it give you the right to lie to me and make me feel feelings for you?!"

"No!" Harry said firmly, standing up, "It doesn't! I know I messed up! I messed up big time!"

"You got that right, Harry!" Hermione said angrily.

"I shouldn't have deceived you. And I'm sorry." Harry said quietly, "But at the time I didn't think we would get so far, connect so well."

Hermione's eyes filled with tears again.

"I didn't think you would fall in love with me." Harry said, sadly, looking at Hermione, "I just…I just…"

"You were trying to be a good friend." Hermione said bitterly, "You were trying to be a good friend by raising my hopes up. Showing me that the ad wasn't a big, humiliating flop and trying to give me a shred of happiness."

"Thanks, Harry!" Hermione spat out bitterly, as tears poured down her cheeks, "Thanks ever so much!"

Harry shook his head.

"No." Harry said, shaking his head sadly, "I didn't."

I frowned at his words. So did Hermione.

"I didn't do it to make you happy." Harry said, sadly, "Well partly. But mostly for me."

Hermione looked at him, a bit confused. Hermione wiped her tears and gave him a confused look.

"What?"

Harry just looked at her sadly, as tears trailed down his cheeks.

"I did it for me." Harry said, sadly, "I was being selfish."

Hermione frowned.

"You know you weren't the only one feeling lonely and unhappy." Harry said, wringing his fingers, "I was too. Except I knew why I was unhappy."

Harry stared at her, "I knew exactly why."

"Here we were, 26, successful and rich. You had your great career and I had my job of catching bad guys. I thought you were happy with your life." Harry continued, "After the great war, you just got busy and strode ahead, not really looking back."

"You had been seeing Draco and then Ron." Harry said bitterly, "I thought you would seriously end up with one of them. But you didn't. And for a long time you never dated."

"I figured you didn't consider it to be that important to you." Harry said, "I mean you had Crookshanks."

'Damn right she does!' I thought, frowning.

"You had you job and you kept getting promoted," Harry continued, "You were living life on your own. You didn't need anyone. You were happy."

Hermione sniffled as she listened to him.

"I didn't know you were just as lonely as me," Harry said quietly, "until I saw you and Crookshanks that day, with the letter."

Hermione blushed at the memory, still sniffling.

"Then I realized." Harry said.

"So you deceived me because you felt lonely?" Hermione asked, quietly.

"No." Harry said shaking his head.

"I.."

Harry just stared into Hermione's eyes. Her brown eyes were slightly red from crying and still glistening with tears. Harry just stared at her, looking into her eyes then at the features of her face. I noticed Harry look down at her lap, where her hands were. Harry spent a moment just watching her hands. He looked transfixed by her pale hands that were nervously fidgeting. Harry looked back up and Hermione.

"Hermione, I.." Harry started, looking directly into her eyes.

Hermione just stared back at him, slightly frowning.

Harry just stared at her, sadly.

I got sick of waiting for him and emerged from the corner. I stalked towards the two and Harry noticed me. I glowered at him.

'Hurry up!'

I gave him a look.

'Just say it, Harry!'

Harry seemed to read my look. He looked back at Hermione.

"I'm sorry I deceived you like that." Harry said, "It was unforgivable. I was selfish, but I really didn't mean to hurt you."

"I didn't think you would feel for me like that." Harry continued, staring at her, "I didn't think you would care for me that way… I hoped, but I never thought you would."

Hermione's eyes widened at his confession.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry," Harry said, sadly, "I just… I just… I loved you."

Hermione drew in a small breath, looking shocked.

"I have for many years now." Harry continued, he looked down at the coffee table.

"Remember the final battle?" Harry said, quietly, not expecting Hermione to respond.

"I knew then." Harry said.

Hermione's eyes widened even more.

I remembered that battle.

We were on the Hogwarts grounds. I was scurrying after Scabbers that imposter rat. I had just pounced on him and was about to kill him when I heard a shriek. I knew that voice.

Hermione.

I gave Scabbers a good long swipe, ending his worthless life and getting my paws all bloodied up. I scampered to the clearing where I heard her voice.

I saw Hermione on the ground, Voldemort was standing a few feet away and had his wand pointed at her. Harry was shouting at Voldemort, with his wand drawn.

I hissed at Voldemort. I wanted to kill him.

"Leave her out of this!" Harry shouted, angrily, "This is between you and me!"

Voldemort just gave an evil cackle as his red serpent eyes glowed from amusement.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!"

"Just do it, Harry!" Hermione shouted, "Just kill him!"

Harry looked at Hermione in shock. I looked at Hermione in shock.

'No!' I thought, 'Don't you dare sacrifice yourself.'

"JUST DO IT!" Hermione ordered, "Forget about me AND JUST FINISH HIM!!!"

Harry just froze.

Voldemort cackled, "Well well. What is it Potter? Kill me and kill the girl?"

Hermione kept shouting at Harry, "JUST KILL HIM! HARRY!"

Harry looked at Hermione, with great fear in his eyes.

'Don't do it, Harry!'

There was a deft blast and I heard Voldemort howl in pain. It was Draco. He was wearing his Deatheater's uniform and had his wand drawn out at Voldemort. Harry looked at him in surprise.

"Do it Potter!" I heard Draco shout.

Harry quickly raised his wand and with a loud cry, ended the Dark Lord's life for good.

I saw Harry drop onto his knees, drained by everything. I scampered over to Hermione who was being supported up by Draco.

I saw concern etched on his face as he carried her up.

"You all right, Granger?" Draco asked.

Hermione just gave him a weak smile.

I heard Harry groan.

"Hermione?" Harry said, moaning, "Get out of here."

Hermione looked at Harry, worried. She turned to Draco.

"We need to get the Mediwizards here." Hermione said to Draco.

Draco nodded, but Harry call out to him.

"Get Hermione to the hospital wing first." Harry ordered Draco, "I'll be fine."

Draco nodded and Hermione frowned at Harry.

"I knew then." Harry said, quietly. Harry looked at Hermione.

"I knew then that I couldn't lose you. Live without you." Harry said, "I couldn't make the choice, Hermione. You or the world. I didn't want to because I knew I would choose you."

Harry's eyes glistened with tears

Hermione took a breath and sniffled.

"I'm sorry." Harry said quietly, "I know telling you this won't change things between us. I don't expect it to. But I just felt I owed it to you. For you to know."

Hermione didn't say anything.

After a long silence, Harry stood up.

"I better get going." Harry said, "Hedwig might get worried."

Harry walked to the front door.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Hermione said, stopping him.

Harry turned around.

"You should have told me!" Hermione said angrily.

Harry sighed.

"I should have. I know."

"Yes you should have!"

"But how would you have reacted?" Harry asked her.

Hermione didn't say a thing.

"If I confessed to you, I don't think you would have taken it well." Harry said, quietly, "You didn't love me that way. It would have been a great shock. We would have felt awkward around each other and our friendship wouldn't be the same."

Hermione didn't say anything.

"But with how things are now," Harry said, bitterly, "maybe I should have just told you. At least we would still have been friends then."

Hermione stared at him.

"15 years of friendship." Harry said, "All down the drain."

"But honestly," Harry said, "If I got to do things over again, I wouldn't change much. I wouldn't have let things get so far between us, but still I wouldn't mind being John again."

Hermione looked surprised.

"I was so happy then." Harry said with a sad smile, "And I know you were happy too. For a very short time, everything was great."

"Life was complete." Hermione said hoarsely.

"We were in love." Harry said, looking straight at her, "We were in love and so happy."

Hermione's eyes glistened with tears again.

"That's why it hurt so much." Harry said, "Because you were truly happy. You've never felt that way before."

Tears poured down Hermione's cheeks.

"I didn't know." Harry said, crying, "Until I read the letters I didn't understand just how deeply I hurt you."

"I thought I was the only one with my heart broken." Harry said, "I just figured it would just be pain from the deception and from pride. I didn't know you actually loved me."

Hermione sniffed, trying to calm herself down.

"You know besides the name and the physical disguise, everything else was sincere." Harry said.

Hermione looked at him.

"I fit all the requirements on your list. I knew you and I loved you already." Harry said, "Everything I said and did was everything I felt about you. I didn't lie about that."

Hermione took a deep breath.

"The only other thing I might have fibbed about was the poetry." Harry said, "But later I came to really enjoy it too."

"Although I wouldn't say Keats is my favorite poet." Harry said, with a sad smile.

Hermione looked at him.

"I'm sorry, Hermione Granger." Harry said sadly, "I'm sorry for hurting you and breaking your heart. If it makes you feel any better, mine's broken too."

Hermione started quietly crying again.

Harry turned to leave. He walked out the door then stopped and turned.

"'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Harry said to Hermione, with a sad smile.

Hermione looked at him, still crying.

"That's the only thing I can offer you. I know 'I'm sorry' will never be enough." Harry said, tears still glistening in his eyes.

Hermione didn't say anything.

"I think deep down you already know it." Harry said sadly, "Goodbye."

Harry closed the door and left in the night.

I quietly crept to Hermione who was still crying. Things didn't really turn out how I expected, but how are things supposed to turn out?

With Hermione and Harry living happily ever after?

I gave a soft mew as I crawled onto Hermione's lap.

I wouldn't care if Hermione decided to hex me right then and there. She needed me. I softly pawed at her knee.

Hermione noticed me and tried to smile through her tears.

She took me in her arms and dug her face into my fur. She was still crying.

"Alfred Lord Tennyson." Hermione said, out of the blue.

I looked at her questioningly as she gave me a watery smile. She then burst into tears and held me as she sobbed.

***

Part 8 Completed

AN: Now I think I have about 3 chapters left and I absolutely promise you that this gets better from now… I mean when you hit rock bottom the only way to go is up… I think I shall be finished with the story by Tuesday… only 2 or 3 more chapters…

Also as a word of advice to all the girls out there…. Never ever get into a situation alone with a strange guy that you don't really now… If you do make sure you have your cell phone with you and some mace…

ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT FEELING…

Comments and Constructive criticism are always welcome.