The Fates-Chapter 13
Harry awoke drained. He looked at Hermione and wondered if she felt the same way. Her delicate body was lying across him and if he didn't still feel the relaxation of sleep at the moment he would have awakened her for few more rounds of the "Hermione and Harry Wrestling Network". He laughed. They had flipped through the channels and watched the American-based World Wrestling Federation strut their stuff on another of the satellite channels. At the moment, he had no intention of moving his lovely friend from the spot where she lay. He closed his eyes to remember her warmth and softness.
Hermione's stirring sometime later surprised Harry. It was the second time he had fallen asleep with her and didn't realize it. He was thankful that she had that effect on him. "Sweety, don't look at me," she said giggling. "In the dark you couldn't see how frightful my hair is and I'm sure I hear the toothbrush calling."
Unabashedly she kissed his chest, stood, and smiled standing momentarily in a manner Harry knew he would never forget. Her silhouette against the sun shining through the curtains was stunning. He had seen nude photographs before and found them erotic, but this picture was the most perfect he'd ever seen. Jeans and tee shirts had hidden the subtle flow of her torso from under her arms to her waist. She was not waifish or wispy, she was perfect. He feasted in that moment on curve of her hips and the contrast of the dark hair of her nether region against the flesh-colored backdrop. "My God Hermione, you are gorgeous."
As if she'd not realized that she'd stood there for so long, she blushed. "Oh, Harry, put that thing away." His arousal showed again. He covered himself, thinking how tempted he was to ask her to help him to find a place to put it as he saw her bare bum scamper around the corner. He let the thought pass.
She called to him from the sink. "It's nearly one o'clock Harry," she giggled. "We screwed each other into oblivion. If oblivion is a place, I wouldn't mind living there." A moment later, she said. "Ignore me, Sweetheart; I'm terrible."
"That's mild compared to the suggestion of the place where I wanted to put Harry, Jr. away," he laughed. "We need to be quick, Sweetie. I don't want Mr. Weasley to wait long."
"Harry, I don't get why Mr. Weasley would be going there when we're trying to go unnoticed. He has to be aware that he's probably under the watchful eye of some Death Eater or other," she said casually. Suddenly playful conversation rife with sexual innuendo seemed inappropriate.
Harry's heart skipped a beat. "Do you realize what you just said, Hermione?" He felt the same dread he had looking for Sirius that day he put his head into Umbridge's fireplace.
He got up ran to the sink, gave her bum a light slap and said, "Hurry, let's go. Just a quick shower to freshen up. Something is wrong." He disappeared into the shower. "Hermione, why would he go there knowing that he would be being followed? And, why wouldn't Bill stick to the original plan? Sending messenger with a note to the hotel would have been no problem if the meeting were the next morning. I am so stupid. Bill was trying to tell me something outside of the code. I don't know what."
He slipped out of the shower brushing past her while grabbing a towel. She said nothing as she arranged her hair to keep it as dry as possible in the shower. She showered quickly.
Fifteen minutes later she was done, having wasted no time in idle chit chat. They realized the severity of Harry's blunder. Harry's main concern was that the enemy knew where he and Hermione were already. Getting them away from the highly-populated hotel and into a neighborhood like Grimmauld Place was what the enemy thought preferable, At least that's what Harry guessed.
Harry opened his trunk and pulled out a backpack in which he put his invisibility cloak, some moondust which served as a temporary blinding agent, and a whistle. The whistle was a last resort to draw attention from anyone he could. "Do you have anything you want to take? We might be back tonight and we might not." They had used French names to register the second day, laughing about being on the run like Lazlo and Ilsa in `Casablanca' and paid for a week so they didn't have to keep moving their things. Harry felt safe in the hotel, but now they were taking a chance that could change all that.
They snuck out of the building by the stairway An elevator that arrived and opened with no one in it would draw attention the attention of anyone looking for him. So at the last floor, Harry left the stair well and stepped into the elevator, pressing the button for the bottom floor and jumped out. Whether the enemy they had knowledge of the invisibility cloak or not would be something they couldn't count on one way or the other. If they were waiting, he thought it would cause a diversion. They moved quickly and quietly.
Once on the street, Harry thought that jogging the six blocks between there and Grimmauld Place would be an unexpected thing. This way they would see people on the street ahead and could avoid them instead of Apparating into the middle of them unexpectedly. He hoped he was making sense. Doing things the muggle way would be less obvious to wizards, he thought. Hermione smiled at the thought of a leisurely run to get rid of some of the excess energy from the adrenaline they now felt.
Harry looked at his watch. He thought that if they could get there twenty minutes early, they could go into the house, look around and be gone by the time 2:30 PM came and went. His plan was taking shape. Get in, find the locket if it was there and get out. Then see if Mr. Weasley arrived as planned. Then apologize if necessary. They went to the house though the block behind and saw no one. They found themselves going through the back door at 2:05. Harry hadn't explained what he was looking for as they entered.
"Harry, okay, we're here. Now explain why we didn't hide with the cloak nearby instead of coming in," she said breathless from jogging and climbing the back fence.
He was exhilarated by the adrenaline of the chase. He didn't have any idea whether he was right or wrong. Was the locket here? Was there anyone after them? He'd realized that the stress could easily cause him to imagine greater danger than truly existed. He would keep that to himself. Hermione didn't need to know he had doubts. He would come clean if it became obvious he had worried for nothing. "Hermione, I think one of the Horcruxes is here. Do you remember the tapestry with the family tree? Remember the name Regulus A. Black?"
He turned to her as a smile broke across her face. "It's here Harry, I had it in my hand, the locket I mean." She took him to the room where Mrs. Weasley had brought the children to clear the doxies. The dressing table at one end held a weathered jewelry case. She opened it in supreme satisfaction. "Mrs. Weasley made Ginny and I put it back when we started playing around with it one afternoon. Girls and jewelry, you know how that goes, right?"
Harry was sure he'd found one of the Horcruxes. The question of destroying it was another matter completely. He thought of Professor Dumbledore's shriveled hand and knew neither he nor Hermione would have survived something that horrific. Yet had he already passed through the trap intended to protect this one? The answer to that dawned on him seconds later. He was sure it had been the cave. This locket was identical to that one. He remembered now that no one could open it.
He took a deep breath as though he were going to lift some great weight that required all his strength and concentration. He was reluctant to destroy it without seeing if there were hidden clues within it. In his hand if felt warm to the touch. It opened with some difficulty. In his hand it glowed faintly. Hermione asked to see it. When she took it the glow faded. Harry knew this was a significant development and so did Hermione. He held her hand and slowly the faint glow returned.. "Harry, it was cold in my hand until you touched me," she said warily.
A sick sensation filled him. Dumbledore had mentioned Nagini as a Horcrux. What if a Horcrux could be a living being? In this case, Harry realized he could be a Horcrux.
He sat down against the wall with Hermione still holding the locket in her hand. "Harry, are you ill? You turned so pale all of a sudden."
Harry realized that Hermione might guess the connection. "Hermione, I'm just a little weary that's all." He wouldn't tell her at the moment of his suspicions.
It took several moments as Hermione sat quietly next to him deep in thought, but Harry emerged stronger and more resolute to find the other Horcruxes now. What choice did he have? He was the only wizard besides Voldemort who may possibly know the significance. He would have to consult Professor Lupin. He'd found two today and didn't know how to deal with either one.
"Harry, you're scaring me a bit. You've gone deathly quiet since we opened the locket," she noted. "Did I mention that you also looked as if you saw a ghost at that moment too? Harry Potter, you had better tell me what is going on?" She screamed at him for the first time he could remember.
He looked at her. She was trembling in anger or fear. He couldn't tell which. "Hermione, where did that come from?"
"If there is one thing I will not allow, it is you hiding something from me to protect me. My heart is ready to explode out of my chest. I think I've figured out what made you pale so quickly, but I will not accept it until you tell me it's true," she said. "Did Lord Voldemort make you into a Horcrux or hide one in you somehow? Don't lie to me, because I'll go away. I will not be with you if you aren't truthful with me."
Harry looked at his watch. It was 2:30. They had more to do than sit here and tell stories. "Yes, Hermione, he probably did when he killed my Mother. Satisfied? Does that make it easier?" He was angry at his need to make her stay and not be angry with him. But his mind reeled at the thought, `He's inside me Hermione. Be careful, I'm not who you think I am.' "Let's look outside and see if Mr. Weasley is there." He said to break the intensity of the moment.
They went down the stairs toward the front hallway when the screams began. It was Sirius' mother again. That high-pitched, malevolent voice called for the removal of "the filthy mud-blood" from her house. It made Hermione cry. Harry knew at that moment, he had come here for the last time. This place could be worth millions and he didn't want it. Once he'd covered the portrait again, the screaming stopped. They finally made their way to a vantage point that gave them a view of the street. Sure enough, Mr. Weasley was there.
"What do we do now?" Hermione asked. "We can't leave him there."
She was right. They would walk to the front of the house once they'd gone outside into the back. They wound their way through the parlor and kitchen and looked around. Harry realized that there was no way he'd see someone back there if they didn't want to be seen. But he had to trust Mr. Weasley to have done what he'd promised and checked out the area. They walked around the house to the place Mr. Weasley stood.
"Hi, Mr. Weasley, why would you want to meet us in middle of the street?" Harry asked directly.
Mr. Weasley seemed to understand Harry's question immediately. "Only Professor Snape can get in, Harry. There is no danger. If he's with us, he will join us and explain himself if he is here. If he is not on our side, there are thirty Aurors here to destroy him if he attempts to intervene." Harry did notice that the traffic in the area was rather brisker than at any other time he'd been here. "So are you ready to go in?"
Harry hung his head. "Mr. Weasley, we've been in already. And, we made the old woman scream for Hermione to leave I might add."
Hermione had to smile at the reaction on Mr. Weasley's face. "We got spooked when we thought there was something amiss when you were going to meet us in broad daylight in front of a place no one is supposed to know about," she said. "When Bill said he'd come after 5, we were really concerned."
The look on Mr. Weasley's confused face only seemed to become more confused. "He said he would be here? He will be at the Burrow at 5:00 PM for dinner tonight."
"What does that mean, Mr. Weasley?" asked a highly concerned Hermione.
"I hope it means that he mistook coming to the Burrow for dinner for coming here," said Mr. Weasley. "He may have confused things. I'll bet you Fleur sets him straight and he forgets he even said he was coming here."
They all let out a sigh of relief as the brief moment of uncertainty passed. "Mr. Weasley, I'm sorry to waste your time coming here. I got carried away."
"Harry, you did what was right. It would be a reason for concern for anyone. I don't like being in that house either, so you've actually done me a favor," he said smiling. "Would you two like to come for dinner?" continued Mr. Weasley. "Professor Lupin will come tonight. The full moon has ended and it was a much less taxing on him this time since we finally got the potion right that Professor Snape used to provide."
Hermione started to nod when Harry answered, "We will be along later, if that's okay with you. We will return these things to the hotel and freshen up. Is dinner at the usual time of around 6:30? "
"Yes, but you would be welcome to freshen up at the Burrow and Mrs. Weasley will breathe easier knowing you two are finally back where we can protect you," he said. He noticed the look of resolve on Harry's face to go back to the hotel. "Well, if that's the way it works best for you, then by all means. We will welcome you with leftovers if needs be."
"We will be there soon, Sir," said Harry. "Hermione, do you want to side-along back?"
"Sure, I'll drive." She giggled uncertainly.
"Please do," he said trying to keep things light even as his heart felt a weight of sadness he couldn't explain.
Mr. Weasley smiled at the two young lovers. He knew. The glow of love even through their pain touched him. "I'll tell Professor Lupin you have to talk to him so he won't leave so early."
A brief pang of embarrassment hit the couple, but they knew it was a non-judgmental offering of help on Mr. Weasley's part. "Thanks, Mr. Weasley. We'll be there later."
Hermione concentrated on their room. They arrived a split second later no worse for the wear.
Harry lay down on the bed and Hermione joined him with her arm outstretched across his chest. They were silent for several minutes. "Harry, if you can be made a Horcrux, it can be unmade," said Hermione. "We just have to figure out how."
Harry didn't respond. He wanted to be positive because her voice seemed to carry a sense of uncertainty that didn't often come out. He knew she was hanging on by a thin thread this time looking for help.
"Harry, you do think it's possible, don't you?" she pressed.
He had to respond. "It does make sense that there is a way for it to be done, but it is probably linked to some action or other that will be hard to determine. I don't think that it is sex, because if it was I'll just plan to cure myself by taking two in the morning and two at night before bed." He kidded, trying to lighten things up. He patted her on the backside.
"Harry, how can you think of sex at a time like this?" she said sadly.
He knew it sounded silly, campy and maybe even just stupid. "Hey, if I'm going to die, I want to die screaming in ecstasy."
She sat up and turned away from him in anger and frustration. "Harry, that's just plain stupid and rude. You're making fun of our relationship."
He was stung by her words. He really didn't mean it that way and realized she was right. He tried to answer the best way he knew how. He spoke slowly looking for the words as they seemed to come hard at the moment. "I want to be with the person I love, Hermione, and I don't want to live our lives in sadness and depression. We have to do what Professor Lupin tried to teach everyone. You can only fight fear by concentrating on the good outcomes of your effort. Or at least, we have to focus on the task at hand." He paused and made Hermione look him in the eyes. "Look at me." He said as he gently tugged at her shoulder.
"My goal is to be happy when I'm with you. If it's watching a movie, making love, or simply looking at the stars that's all I can do. I am learning that worry, depression, anger and frustration steal precious moments and valuable time. That's the way I feel when I think of Sirius and Professor Dumbledore. I don't want that to happen with us. Am I making sense? I feel like I'm getting preachy again, forgive me."
Hermione smiled but it was through glazed and determined eyes. "Then Harry, something with you has to change. You can't wait for something or someone to walk into your life to make things right. You have to fight this like you do when you're trying to save them."
"What do mean?" interrupted Harry. "I don't sit around feeling sorry for myself that's not what I meant."
"You interrupted me, Harry. You listen to me, okay?" she said very sternly and so fast it was dizzying. "You can attempt to save yourself no matter how long that takes, don't get heroic on me." She was almost screaming at him.
He was sad for the stressed mood she was in. "I don't want to die, Hermione," he said. "I don't know why you act as if I seem resigned to it."
Her voice still had an edge to it. "Good, that's all fine and good. But if you need inspiration, think of me. Think of living with me for a very long time, forever even. I don't care how selfish that sounds," she cried.
Her sniffles passed a few minutes later as a silly grin of recognition filled her face. She seemed to realize she'd lost it. "Unless of course, being with me is the reason death appeals to you. Which, after that little display of insanity is completely understandable," she giggled as she jostled her way toward him to put her head on his shoulder as he sat wondering just what happened in those few minutes. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart."
"Are you trying to say you love me and we have to fix this anyway we can?" he asked simply.
"I think so," she laughed. So did Harry. He kissed the top of her head.
Thankfully, dinner at the Weasley home was as advertised. No dramas and it had been that Bill hand simply misspoke. "I am so sorry, Harry. I should have done it all by the numbers so-to-speak. I'm sorry for making you crazy, really."
The laugh they had over Harry turning into the wizard world equal to James Bond made everyone laugh. "He even had his beautiful secret agent girlfriend with him," joked Mr. Weasley.
"Dad, what do you know about James Bond movies?" asked Bill.
"I confiscate televisions all the time. I watch them for fun when no one is around," he admitted. "I just remember bringing that old car home and that ended as an unpleasant experience, so no televisions for the Weasley family," he chortled. "Right boys?" he shot a stare at Harry and Ron.
"What are you talking about Dad?" laughed Ron.
"Harry, we have cleared a place for you and Professor Lupin to talk," said Arthur. "If you need us, we will be just outside."
"Harry, do you mind if Tonks is part of this conversation?" He had no objections. Tonks' presence had given Hermione someone new to talk to.
"Professor, my only concern is keeping out advantage if we have one and figuring out a few problems that have come up," he said. "Right, Hermione?" Harry made sure Hermione knew she was welcome to join in."
Harry reached into the bag and brought out the two lockets. Hermione was surprised that Harry had kept the other from the cave. He looked around and told the story of this afternoon and gave the background as he knew it to Professor Lupin who was familiar with Professor Dumbledore's work. It was when Harry opened the case and took the locket and it glowed that the conversation got interesting.
"I think I know what that means, Professor. Am I right?" asked Harry pulling Hermione closer.
"I'm not sure I follow," said Lupin.
"Pick it up and hand it around," said Harry surprised that no one beside he and Hermione saw any significance. When it got to Hermione, he did the same as he had that afternoon. He took her opposite hand and held it. The locket glowed faintly. "Watch this." He did it several times in succession.
"Ah, are you talking about that faint glow? When you see it go on and off, it's very noticeable," said Professor Lupin. "Are you suggesting that you have some connection to this Horcrux, Harry?"
"Only that I think I might be one, Professor. You know of Dumbledore's belief that Nagini is a Horcrux. That makes it plausible that I am one too. It explains a great deal," said Harry.
Harry felt uncomfortable with Professor Lupin's reluctance to comment. He felt it was obvious.
"I see," said the Professor walking with a slight limp without his cane. "You deduced this by connecting a glowing locket that only glows when you touch it?"
"Professor, how can this be such a big mystery? It seems simple enough," said Harry.
"Harry, if you're going to expect the Professor to agree with you, then why ask him what he thinks?" Hermione remarked. "Go on, Professor. You do have to see Harry's point though."
"I do, Hermione. And, I agree with your assessment. Here is why I say that. Privately, Professor Dumbledore thought this was a possibility. However, neither of us thought that there was a way to prove it," he said. "This interaction with another Horcrux is certainly huge clue as to your connection to Lord Voldemort. But to take the leap to your being a Horcrux, I won't say it's a certainty."
"I don't get it then, what more would you need?" said Harry.
"What if there is some feature about you that makes you a Horcrux. We wondered about the scar, Harry," said Professor Lupin. "Is there any sensation near the scar when you touch the locket?"
Harry took the locket in his hand again. He felt nothing unusual except the anxiety of possibly being a Horcrux for Lord Voldemort and the man he thought would have answers was confusing him more. But the looks on the other three people's faces told him he was missing something.
"Harry, when you sit there normally your scar is a faded pink, when you touch it the scar seems to become more noticeable," said Professor Lupin. "I would have thought that it would hurt."
"No, there is no feeling one way or the other. How do we destroy it, Professor?" asked Harry. "I mean the immediate alternatives had Hermione and I completely screwed up this afternoon." He admitted this openly to dispel any pretense.
"Harry, I believe and so did Professor Dumbledore, that Lily, your Mother, was able to surround you with enough love to reflect the curse back on Voldemort. For other reasons we'll discuss later, Voldemort was disembodied while trying to create the Horcrux in you. He attempted to enter your body. It is possible that the strength of love in you generated a violent enough force to drive him out almost immediately. He was still strong enough to fight for a moment and it forced a splintering of his soul at that moment leaving a scar. That inner strength in you Harry is the capacity for love and sacrifice. Lily's death was the sacrifice that compounded that power in you Harry."
Hermione trembled and spoke, "Are you speaking of self-sacrifice?"
"Hermione, if I were a young woman in love with someone in Harry's position, I would be scared also. Remember this; Lily did not die on purpose. She did not kill herself. Lord Voldemort killed her in cold blood. It was the willingness to die to save Harry that was the key--the self-less act of loving her baby more than her own life," said Lupin. "Hermione, have you studied Greek mythology and The Fates?"
"Yes, how did you know?" she asked.
"It was because of the reference to a Hermione in several places in Greek mythology," said Lupin. "It is simple. Harry may be one of those people whose destiny is so heavily guided by inner strength that it is visible in his everyday life. Christianity calls it predestination and the Greeks believed the Gods controlled such things on a frequent basis. Just look at the events of his life and you realize he has been fortunate and seems to have a date with destiny."
"Remus, I think you're scaring them," said Tonks.
Harry had always known that things happened to him in strange ways. People showed up in the right place and at the right time all the time. "I don't like the feeling that my life is not my own," he said edgily. "No one can tell me that all I do is breathe and the world moves around me to get me to my destiny. That's crazy."
"Of course, I don't believe that. Let me explain it very simply. You are a magnet for positive energy, Harry. Voldemort is the embodiment of the opposite. Your body rejected his attempt to fill you when the Killing Curse backfired. It was your mother's will and love that made the Curse fail but your positive energy generated by the love of your parents that refused to allow him to control you completely."
"Today, you pull positive energy to you by second nature Harry. It is you doing it, but the Greek mythology says that a web was spun around you at birth giving you that power." Professor Lupin sat down. "It took me quite some time to see what Professor Dumbledore was trying to explain. It's complicated in a way for people to accept that the very nature of humanity has a power of its own."
"I hardly call the experience with the Dursleys a positive one, Professor." Harry said as he tried to absorb all of this.
"Harry, I told you once or maybe it was Arthur who told you. You are not unique. Everyone is imbued with some strength by The Fates, if you will. If you were given the ability for physical feats beyond those of your peers you would have to do physical things for others to notice. If you became a writer, no one would see that you were capable of becoming a world class sprinter if you sit at desk, gain a great deal of weight and write poetry. You are intelligent and I don't need to give you more examples to see it."
"You were put in a position in life where those things that you needed were needed every day or almost every moment for you to survive. You survived in spite of the Dursleys because as a child you could love without knowing the difference between love and hate." Professor Lupin spoke forcefully and with such certainty that Harry had no choice but to begin to believe it.
"One example I will give you that may surprise you," said Lupin. "Miss Lovegood is able to see truths that none of us see. She grew up being encouraged to share those things. Her father is the same way. I know him. I don't necessarily grasp the things he writes about, but he is not crazy. They have an ability none of us shares in the same proportion."
"Sweetheart, I think I understand finally. Some of us, like me, can read a book and remember it as though we wrote it. It's a very specialized gift. It will only serve me well if I use it for something. You have a gift that transcends every facet of life especially relationships with others. They become willing to help and those who wish you ill find it hard to succeed against you," said Hermione.
"Well, that's nice, but is it going to help me find a way to destroy Voldemort without dying?" said Harry focusing on his main concern and again putting Hermione into a dark mood.
"You are a conduit for positive energy, Harry. Something will happen that will pull the positive energy to you when you need it. Love is the most powerful of the positive energies, but I can't promise you that self-sacrifice won't mean that there is a very real threat of death," said Lupin.
Hermione looked at Harry with sad eyes and admitted that she was afraid once more. "You told me today what you have to do Harry. You have to focus on doing what's right and let the rest happen the way it is meant to happen. It will kill me inside just like I thought; but I love you too much to let you face this alone, no matter how much my heart aches to think of you suffering for others."
"There is one positive side to this that we haven't mentioned enough. There are only two Horcruxes left," said Lupin as he raised his wand, pointed it at the locket and in a bolt of electrified air destroyed it. "If we hadn't identified you as one, we'd still be looking for three. And I think I know where one more is. And I think it's in a place you would surely want to see."
"Where's that Professor?" asked Hermione.
"Godric's Hollow, of course," said Professor Lupin. "It may hold more information than any single place I know that will guide you. It is your destiny Harry. You must lead the way. I will show where to go to find it. You have knowledge of the place, just as you have knowledge of 12 Grimmauld Place. You were there. I doubt any of us can see the ruins of the cottage in Godric's Hollow, but I'm sure you can."
"How do I get there, Professor?" asked Harry. He smiled cautiously at Hermione who clutched his arm in anticipation.
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