Settling Into Chaos-Chapter 2
It wasn't long before the tumultuous beginning to the summer gave in to relaxation that it was supposed to offer. Harry and Ron never spoke of their short, if not harmless debate of the first night. Harry started to ask Ron about the nightmares several times, but thought better of it because Ron seemed in such good spirits. For that matter, everyone including Harry felt rejuvenated in just a few short days.
"Good morning, Harry," said Hermione with a grin the fourth day after their talk at the campfire.
"Hey good morning Hermione. I didn't see you sitting there. Why in the world would you be so cheerful this early in the morning?" he asked playfully. Hermione was sitting quietly in a chair next to the window in the furthest corner of the kitchen drinking something. "Maybe you should put some of what you're drinking in my cup." He smiled.
Just a few minutes after Harry sat down to a cup of orange juice and fresh fruit with Hermione, Ron showed up. He looked different this morning than all the other times Harry remembered. Ron always seemed to be ready to crawl right back into bed even if it was 10 AM and it was only 7:30. "Okay, what gives? What have you two been up to all night?" said Harry accusatorily.
"Shush, Harry, that's really none of your business," said Hermione with a wink while Ron had his back turned trying to maneuver to her through the chairs of the dining room table.
"Harry, you can't say anything to anyone because my parents will make Hermione go home," said Ron. "We didn't really do anything but stay up all night talking and…." That's where Ron's voice trailed off. "Well, we kind of…."
Hermione giggled. "What Ron is trying to say is that we kind of acted like boyfriend and girlfriend for once, but don't get the wrong idea. Ron was a gentleman."
Suddenly Ron's attitude changed from apologetic to a bit more proud than usual. "I don't know what came over me, Harry. Sitting there talking too her, I just couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to kiss her so bad."
Hermione laughed. "I told him what we talked about the other night Harry and explained how I felt and what you said."
"Yeah, Harry. You must have been right, because I just seemed to relax when Hermione and I talked things over," said Ron. "I'm not good at it and it's still hard to talk a lot, but I hope it is better."
"Ron, sweetheart, don't worry about things so much. I wouldn't still be around if I didn't think you were worth it," said Hermione with a smile brushing Ron's red hair out of his eyes.
"Shush," said Harry for purely selfish reasons. He couldn't take the chance his best friends would get caught either. It would mean Hermione would have to go away. He enjoyed her company immensely, more now than ever. "You guys are going to make them more suspicious by whispering and acting so secretive."
Hermione changed the subject. "Ron and I are going into St. Mungo's today, Harry. We're going to see Bill. They think he might be out of the hospital in a few weeks time. Isn't that wonderful news?"
Harry looked at Ron whose face brightened up at the mention of his favorite older brother. "Yeah, they say he's doing very well, all things considered. I'm looking forward to it."
Hermione wore an expression that Harry couldn't read which made him curious. "What is on your mind Hermione?" He didn't understand how one second she could seem so positive and a second later seem disgruntled.
"Excuse me I forgot something. Be right back," said Ron apparently unaware of the expression Harry noticed.
"Okay, Hermione, don't tell me you're angry with Ron now. How could that happen?" asked Harry.
"I'm not angry, but I hate it when he is too enthusiastic to go somewhere where Fleur Delacour might be. She fawns over him still when she sees him and he ignores me unless I poke him or clear my throat," she said. "I guess I was reacting to something that might not really be a problem now." Hermione's expression changed yet again as she whispered, "Shush, here he comes. I don't want him to know I'm jealous."
"Wow, now I would never have guessed that," thought Harry. Sure enough though, he could see the redness fading from Hermione's cheeks as she chatted with Ron about something other than the trip. He watched them carefully. He longed so much to have someone like Ron had in Hermione. He missed Ginny, he supposed, for no other reason than the exhilaration of touching and holding someone. Did he have to put her needs above his own sexual desire? He really did wish sometimes that he hadn't forced himself to hold back. Harry shivered as he contemplated the answer.
"Harry? Something wrong?" asked Hermione who noticed his apparent discomfort.
"No," he fibbed, "I must have just had a spontaneous reaction to some daydream or other. There was no way he could tell them the truth without having a fist-fight with his best friend about jumping his sister's bones. Harry almost laughed as he pictured himself and Ron pounding each other's faces in on the floor of the Weasley kitchen.
"Really? Well, no matter I suppose as long as you're okay," said Hermione.
"Hey, Harry, while I was upstairs just now I came up with an idea. We have enough players here to play a pick up game of Quidditch. Are you up for it?" Ron presumably looked at Harry's face and saw the disbelief. "Wait, I didn't mean right at this moment. I mean like after we get back from the hospital this afternoon or tonight," he added.
Once Ron had clarified that Harry relaxed. "Oh, that's a brilliant idea Ron, but who would be playing?"
Ron smiled. "Oh, you don't know what's going on, do you?" Harry shook his head.
"Oh, Harry, I'm sorry we should have told you. After you went up to bed last night Mr. Weasley came home with news from the Ministry," Hermione realized she was stealing Ron's thunder. "Ron, you tell him I'm sorry."
"Well, Dad says that the Ministry is becoming more and more worried that some of the homes like ours are more vulnerable to attacks by Deatheaters and the like so they want to increase the security," said Ron with a smile. "Dad mentioned Dumbledore's Army to the Minister."
Harry's ears perked up slightly as the mention of the DA. "I don't follow, Ron. Hurry, get to the point this sounds really intriguing."
"Well, Dad told them that it might be a wise idea to use the DA as a defense force at the homes where it was possible to have four or five extra people and where sending Aurors to combat a threat would take them further away from their main missions at the Ministry," said Ron.
"Ron, you're killing me here. What does that have to do with us? I don't feel like going to someone else's house for the summer," said Harry resolutely.
"No, that's the beauty of it. Scrimgeour told my Dad that he didn't think it was a good idea to use young wizards who had no recent experience or exposure to Defense against the Dark Arts. He told Dad that if he wanted something like that he'd have to find a way to prove that they could do the job," said Ron.
Hermione's eyes were rolling in her head as Ron spoke. "Oh, Ron, you're killing me now and I know the story. Harry, they're going to ask for volunteers from our class, the recently graduated one and Ginny's class to come here for training with you and Lupin," blurted Hermione. "It will be crowded, but they think that by using as simple principle like "Wizard Space" they could make enough room here at the Burrow."
Harry was shocked. "Why would I be one of the teachers?"
"Harry, everyone knows that it was your ability to train us that got us through the Department of Mysteries two years ago and that without you we might have all been much worse off at Hogwarts a few weeks ago," said Hermione.
"You say your Dad suggested this?" Harry was still trying to see the logistics of all this. "Are you saying that we could have like, ten to fifteen more people here in the coming days?"
"Yes, Harry, I think you will be the greatest asset the Ministry has to ward off the advances of the Deatheaters," said a more mature voice from behind him. It was Mr. Weasley.
"Sir, I just want to spend a quiet summer before…." Harry couldn't say anymore because no one besides his friends and Ginny knew his plan to leave Hogwarts and forage out on his own in pursuit of the Horcruxes.
Mr. Weasley finished Harry's sentence with what he thought Harry was about to say, …your last year at Hogwarts. Harry, it is you that these young people will follow. Lupin can teach you all so many more things than have been approved by the Ministry in the past. Don't you want to truly have a Defense against the Dark Arts lesson that has practical uses instead of guessing at what works and relying on your considerable bravery and luck?" asked Mr. Weasley rhetorically.
Harry knew the answer and it gave him the chills in the middle summer. "Do you think anyone in their right mind would go for it?" Harry knew it was possible for the students at Hogwarts to do more than the Ministry gave them credit for, but he also knew that if he were a parent he'd never let his children go into harm's way for something this crazy.
"Harry, the owls were sent out last night after I left and within an hour twelve came back with signatures of volunteers. I hadn't shared that with Ron and Hermione yet since they'd turned in by the time I heard the news by owl myself," said Arthur. "We have lots of work to do. Word has been sent to Charlie to come home to help me with arranging the house and the twins volunteered in addition to the twelve."
Harry glanced at his friends and saw their guilty faces as Mr. Weasley presumed they'd turned in. But Harry only thought of that for an instant as his mind turned immediately to this new news. He put his hand to his head and rubbed his hand through his hair. The first thoughts through his head were, "How the Weasleys could put their family in such danger, especially Ginny? He now had no excuse that anyone knew of for splitting with her. Should he leave immediately to make the plan go away? There were so many things that could go wrong with this plan."
"Mr. Weasley, you are already risking so much by just letting me stay here," said Harry. "Why would you add this to the reasons Voldemort has to harm your family?" asked Harry.
"Because I told him your plan to go get yourself killed by yourself Harry. I couldn't let that happen," said a voice that nearly brought tears to Harry's eyes. He'd been here several days and hadn't run into Ginny at all. "You don't have to take me back, but I'm not letting you kill yourself without trying to find you help."
"Yes, I suppose it was Ginny's idea that the DA could help in someway, but don't blame her for the rest Harry," said Arthur.
Ginny went and sat down in one of the chairs in the living room without another word. Harry could feel the world spinning around him. He loved her. He knew that, but just not the way it should be for this kind of sacrifice on her part. He felt guilty. He walked slowly toward her trying hard not to give into the familiar feeling that he'd tried to forget the past few weeks. It was no use. The logical mind could only hold back the primal instinct of love for just so long. He walked more quickly and put his arms around her.
Mr. Weasley wasn't sure he liked this little turn of events. "Oh, Merlin's beard, what have I done? Did I bring the wolf into the chicken coop?" He joked as he warned them. "You two will have to behave yourselves. The same rules apply to you and Ginny that apply to Ron and Hermione. I will do the same to you or worse, Harry. You might wish to be in front of Lord Voldemort if you take advantage of Ginny." While this made everyone laugh, Harry wasn't sure that Arthur Weasley wasn't capable doing just what he threatened in response to someone hurting his family.
In spite of it all the sensation of touching Ginny again filled his mind. He thought, "What he doesn't know won't hurt him?" Then he whispered into Ginny's ear, "I hope you're never sorry for this." He knew that he only said that to cover his pangs of guilt. He knew he was giving in to his baser instincts even now.
As noon approached Harry left Ginny sitting in the living room where they'd been talking for the past few hours. He shared a little of what he and Hermione had talked about days before, but he found it to be less playful and more difficult to talk about things with her. He found that odd, but attributed it to what he and Hermione had agreed. They were free spirits when they were together with no hidden agendas. Harry didn't feel so bad when he thought of it that way. It would just take time.
He showered and changed to get ready to go to St. Mungo's with Ron and Hermione. He walked back down the stairs to see Ginny right there with them, ready to go. Harry tried not to show his surprise and disappointment. He had never told Ginny they were back together, but everyone assumed so he went with the flow. He kissed her cheek and took her hand.
"We'll go by the Floo," said Ron. "Dad had it activated in accordance with Ministry guidelines. We have to wait until 12:30, then we have two minutes to get through before it's shut down again until 5:00 when we can return."
This was the part about a wizard's life that didn't appeal to Harry. There was no time to think in their world like there was in the muggle world. Muggles would have taken a bus or a train, giving them time to sort out their daily lives while in transit to their destination. Everything moved so fast that Harry felt like he was always on the go, even though everyone else seemed to look calm. He supposed the argument was that there was less to worry about because you could relax with the extra time you saved once you got there.
They arrived at the Ministry in just seconds and would have to go outside and around the building to the entrance of the hospital. The four friends were quiet as they walked past the dozens of Aurors and Ministry employees that stared at them as they briefly searched for the lift to the outside. Once outside Harry said, "I hate that place. There is something creepy about the way people look at you."
"You can say that again," agreed Ron who still hadn't mentioned how he felt about this turn of events with Ginny.
Hermione tried her best to involve Ginny in their conversations as they walked around the huge London block that covered St. Mungo's and the Ministry of Magic. Harry tried to sort out what was going on with him now. Should he just shut it down with Ginny? He felt so out of place when he touched her because it was unlike when they were together before when he took her feelings into account. He wanted her badly and he knew that wasn't a good thing in terms of his relations with the Weasleys.
"Wasn't that me the other night nodding dutifully as Hermione described how a guy should be," he thought. "Screw that, I want to get laid." This battle raged on in his head back and forth until Hermione's voice snapped him out of it.
"Come on, Harry. We're here," she said pulling him by the arm toward where Ginny and Ron were standing. Harry didn't understand what had happened to him. One minute he was holding Ginny's hand then next she was fully ten feet away and he was day dreaming of having sex with her. This was not good.
Once inside the hospital, Harry's attention shifted to Bill. He still felt ill when he saw him. The wounds about his face and neck were no longer festering, but the pain was obvious and the red marks left behind made Bill hideous to look at upon first sight. "Hey, guys," he said in obvious pain as the horrid red scars stretched when he moved his mouth.
" `Allo, Ron, darling," said Fleur as she kissed Ron and Hermione cringed. Harry just stood back for a few minutes allowing Ginny and Ron to see their brother first. Harry listened intently.
He gathered that the pain was subsiding as the magical treatments for the pain began to take hold. He talked of frequent visits from Lupin and Tonks. Ginny asked if there had been any progress in the relationship between Tonks and Lupin obviously seeing a similarity to Harry and herself. Bill had only laughed and said that he hadn't been consulted on that.
Harry smiled. He liked Bill and respected Fleur for her resilience and nurturing spirit. He knew there were few women who would dedicate themselves as she had to a wounded lover. He was silent so long Bill finally had to call to him. "Harry, get over here. You're part of our family too. Well, almost a part in two separate ways I guess," he said lightheartedly.
"Do I give you the speech about looking after my little sister or the one about how nice it is to see Ron's best mate and my quasi little bro?" he joked.
"I suppose it had better be the one about looking after Ginny, because the other might encourage him to be a little heartbreaker like you," said Fleur in her broken yet understandable French-accented English. She gave Harry the air kiss he'd joked about days before.
A warmth and glowing feeling grew in Harry's chest that he knew was the result of feeling the love of family and friends. It made the guilt about his struggles with what to do about Ginny worse, yet at the same time, it gave him insight as to the right thing to do. He put that aside and talked about the news of the morning with Bill who he was sure heard the news from Lupin already.
"Did you hear from Professor Lupin this morning?" Harry asked Bill as Hermione, Ginny and Ron listened to Fleur talk about Bill's condition.
"Yes," Bill said quickly. "What do you think about it?"
"I'm confused. I wish I could talk to Professor Lupin," said Harry. "It seems a little rushed and poorly planned to me."
"I know Harry, but that's one of the big problems facing the Ministry. They have been accused for many years for being too slow to react to new threats, so in response they move almost too quickly," explained Bill.
"Yes, but they can't be wrong this time. We are talking about kids taking on full-fledged adult wizards in mortal combat where guile and guts win the battle, not being able to memorize a bunch of spells," said Harry. Painfully, Harry remembered knowing what to do to stop Snape, but being no match for him. He felt very small at that moment.
"I know Harry, but that is why you are so important to the cause. Ginny told me in private what she hasn't told my father or the Ministry about your plans," he whispered. "I know you hate being a tool for the Ministry, but you are uniquely equipped for what we need to do."
Harry squirmed a little at turning into a Ministry man instead of following what he thought Dumbledore would want him to do. "How do you mean?" he asked Bill as he tried to determine if any of the rest of them could hear.
Bill understood the look on Harry's face and turned to the rest of them. "Look guys, I know you came to see me, but I really have to talk to Harry in private. It's rude, I know. Please let me have a word with him."
"But…," said Fleur.
"You too, darling. This is about things that are between Harry and I only. We need to discuss things before we tell you guys what's going on. It's not going to be a secret for long we just don't need any interruptions or distractions," said Bill.
Harry admired the way Bill took control without being offensive. He knew it was a maturity that he didn't have. He would have just told everyone to get out. "Thanks for that," he told Bill.
"No problem, Harry. I know you want to say things that the others might not understand right away," he replied. "Take a second to think Harry, then just hit me with your questions or concerns. I know you have a lot on your mind. By the way, Professor Lupin won't be back to see me or available to come to the Burrow for several days. I think you know why."
Harry was taken aback until he realized what was going on. "You don't have those problems?" asked Harry.
"I probably won't transform, if that's what you're asking. But later today I might not be able to stay awake because they will have to increase my pain medication. This is the first full moon, Harry. We aren't sure what'll happen. That's why everyone is visiting today." Bill said in a rather strange tone of voice.
"I don't understand," said Harry. He didn't know why Bill's voice seemed so ominous.
"If I do transform, Harry, I'll probably die." Bill said simply. "They have given me so many potions and elixirs to ward off the effects of transformation that if my wounds open in response I might literally bleed to death."
Harry was frightened in a way he'd never felt before. He didn't frighten easily. "You're kidding right? This just can't be. I can't take your time when you're family is here to see you then," said Harry suddenly feeling guilty for letting him push his family and Fleur out the door.
"Harry, you are family. That's what Ron and Ginny want me to know. I know and understand why. You're a good man Harry, so don't feel like you don't deserve my help as much as they do," he said.
Harry was at a loss for words. People who cared about him sprouted up from the most unlikely of places all the time for him. First, it was Dumbledore and Hagrid, then Sirius and Lupin. Now it was Bill and that didn't even take Mr. Weasley into account. He needed to tell Ron how right he was to be angry at him when Harry started feeling too self important. He just looked at Bill and resolved to ask as many good questions as he could think of.
Their conversation was rewarding thought Harry some time later. He'd asked Bill what he thought his role should be. Bill answered that people drew precious confidence and strength from Harry's bravery and willingness to put his life on the line for them. Harry just needed to understand that people look up to him and will follow. Most of the other questions were about Defense against the Dark Arts and Harry knew he'd never remember the answers until he had time to practice the techniques and master them with Lupin. When they were done he shook Bill's hand and gave him a brotherly hug. "Bill, I'll never forget how much you've helped me today."
"That's music to my ears, Harry. That's all I can offer in my current state. Go get the others and don't worry about me, Harry. I'm not going to die anytime soon," assured Bill.
"One more thing, Bill." Harry hesitated to bring up Fleur, but he had to for Hermione's sake. "You know Hermione is jealous of the way Fleur greets Ron. Ron is such a git for not putting it in perspective," he said. He looked for Bill's reaction and it surprised Harry.
"I know Harry, it bothers me too. I've talked to her about it and she assures me it's because of Ron's bravery in the Tri-Wizard Tournament and how badly she felt about pushing Ron away when he asked her to the ball after that. But I think she likes him more than that and won't admit it. Oh, don't get me wrong. I don't think she's sweet on him to the point of getting between us, but I don't like her enticing my little brother with her Veela wiles either. He's likely to take it the wrong way and make more of it than there is."
Harry could only say, "Wow. I had no idea you knew about it."
"Yes, she assures me it's innocent and won't change. I know she loves me very much, but in my condition I'm not really up to making a big deal out of it when she is so wonderful to me," continued Bill. "Don't tell anyone but I think that she's pregnant and that might very well be the reason for her being so attentive to me."
"Wow," said Harry. "Life is just really complicated, isn't it?"
Bill laughed so hard Harry could tell the pain was overwhelming and that he wished he hadn't laughed because of the stretching of the scar tissue. "I'm sorry, Harry. I need to be alone for just a minute. But get the others; I should be okay by the time you get back."
Sure enough, five minutes later when Harry returned, it was to smiles for Ginny and Ron as they sat and chatted again with their brother. He watched in awe at the love the family had for one another.
"So, Harry, did you learn anything?" asked Hermione sitting in the chair next to his watching the Weasleys laugh and carry on.
"Yeah, lots, Hermione. Bill was right too, there was nothing you guys couldn't have heard or that you probably haven't already told me. It was pretty much just pick me up session really," he explained.
"That's nice," she said as Fleur joined and put her hand on Ron's shoulder. "I'm not really jealous, but why does she have to touch Ron like that."
"I don't know, Hermione. I don't know," he said trying not to get into an explanation. He knew that explaining what Bill said would do her no good and would just make him have to make excuses.
By 4:30, it was time for them to say their good-byes to Bill and Fleur. Harry was standing with the others near the door. "Thanks for the encouragement, Bill. I really appreciate it."
"Come here, mate," said Bill. "You guys go ahead, I have one more thing for Harry."
"Sure," he said as he crossed the room to Bill's bedside.
"Harry, you really should practice what you know about Occlumency. I'll warn you that there are several people in my family that show signs of being Acumens. You know, people who can intrude on your thoughts," said Bill in a warning tone.
Harry looked at him in dismay and a little bit of embarrassment. "So, I should be careful about what I think about Ginny around you," he said sheepishly.
"Harry, I'm a guy just like you. She's your girlfriend and I'd expect you to have thoughts that aren't Holy and pure," he laughed briefly. "It's my Dad and my Mom I'm worried about. Ron forgets our childhood and the fact that they have always been able to pick out the guilty kid. Fred and George learned to block them out just before they left home. Ron hasn't and based on Ginny's boyfriend history, she must have. How do you think they were able to manage a family of nine children and still talk to each other in a civil tone?" Now he laughed heartily but with restraint to avoid hurting himself.
"I'll keep that in mind, Bill," said Harry.
"Harry, that's why I'm not worried about Fleur. She's just a flirt. Also, talk to Ginny if you're unhappy. I don't know my sister that well, but I think she's a lot more intelligent and mature at her age than any of us were," he said. "Get going before you miss the opening of the Floo Network. You're welcome anytime." He said as Harry hurried out.
Harry turned just long enough to say, "Thanks again, Bill."
Harry caught up with the rest of them just as they arrived at the lift to go down into the Ministry again. "What was that all about, Harry?" asked Ron.
"Oh, he was just telling me how your parents are able to read your thoughts and catch you doing stuff you shouldn't," Harry blurted out. He immediately wished he'd been more subtle.
Ginny smiled as Ron and Hermione looked panicked. "Ron doesn't seem to remember that and always gets in trouble," said Ginny slyly. "On the other hand, it took a month for Mom to figure out that Harry and I were even kissing when we started going out."
Harry hung his head. Ginny was proud of the fact that she could hide things from her parents. "Ron, you never told me your parents were able to read minds," said Hermione.
"I forgot. It didn't seem important at the time. That's why I suppose they always let you stay. They knew I was crazy about you long before you did," Ron said sheepishly.
"So that's why it was a call from your parents to my parents and you never asked me. You were afraid even back then to admit you liked me," said Hermione in a hurt tone.
"Oops," said Ginny to Harry. "I don't think either of us meant to start that argument."
"No, I know I didn't," said Harry. "Can we sit down and talk about us later, Ginny?"
"Is there an "us", Harry?" she asked in reply.
Harry was never shocked at Ginny's replies. He knew what Bill meant before he'd said it today. She was young but not immature nor naïve. "Honestly, I don't know Ginny. I just don't want to hurt you. My attitudes about some things have changed."
"Harry, we can talk if you like. I'm all for coming to an agreement of how to treat one another. But if you're afraid of loving me then I'm not sure I want to talk. It will hurt both of us," she said.
Hermione and Ron were engrossed in their conversation and it was almost 5:00. "Look guys, we need to pay attention to the Floo," said Harry. They each looked at the big clock on the wall as it ticked over to 5:00. "We should talk," he said. "I'm not afraid of being hurt."
Ginny nodded. "Meet me at the end of the orchard by the big willow tree after dinner," she said.
In turn, they stepped into the Floo and announced, "The Burrow."
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