A/N. Yes, it has been a while. I'm sorry. Nothing like doing one's taxes to kill creativity :).
I have a confession - this chapter has gone longer than expected (my fault - I got carried away) so the affair has to go on the next one. There were questions about why Hermione ended up with Ron and why they broke up. I realized I had to write about that and I had to set the stage for the affair.
Harry's POV here. This is 4 years after Dean died, Hermione is back in London after a long absence, and she and Harry talk like they used to. If your head hurts trying to follow the conversation about the hay, the horse and the carriage I truly apologize :blush: I did have a point to make about all that and I hope some will get it.
The last bit is Warren's explanation to Harry about why he's doing what he's doing. Hugo has a brief part.
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Chapter 42 - Hay, Horse, Carriage
June 9, 2007 - Diagon Alley
I am in front of Finnigan's. It is after ten, kind of late for me to be here but I overheard she was going to be here tonight. I have to talk with her. I promised Ron I would.
As I go through the door I glance over to where the gang usually sits and immediately see her. She sees me too, smiles and nods. Seamus waves me over. It's a bit of a crowd today. Justin and Susan are here, Jessie is sitting beside Seamus, Neville and Hannah in their corner and Terry and Padma are there too. I had hoped I would catch her semi-alone. But she doesn't come here as often and never by herself, not since Dean died.
I say hi to everyone and she moves closer to Justin to make room for me. I lean over to hug her and she returns it, noticing, like I do each and every time, how she never initiates them anymore and how different they are from her old Hogwarts bone crushing ones. I chastise myself. Really, it has been like that for almost four years. In fact our friendship has not been the same since about the same time. We've kind of drifted apart and aside from the physical distance (she hasn't lived in London for a while) I haven't really figured out why, which is probably why I am still hung up about it.
Seamus has my drink in front of me before I can even sit.
"Just in time, Harry," Justin starts up the conversation that I interrupted, "We need another expert opinion."
"Uh-oh," I say, wary about what sort of foolishness Justin has under his sleeves, "If this is going to get me in trouble with my wife again I prefer not to answer."
They laugh at my joke. These round table discussions often times revealed more than what Ginny or I would want others and us to know about us, but I guess that was true for everybody who participated. That was the point of the questions.
"Where is Ginny?" Hermione asks.
"Holyhead."
Ginny was with the team.
"The kids?"
"Their favourite place in the world," I say with a bit of resentment and she chuckles. The Burrow was Rosie's favourite place too, "Where's your little troublemaker?"
"My Mum's for a couple of days."
Justin carries on, "Our two engaged couples want to know what to expect in years to come."
"Do they really?" I answer and looked over to Seamus and Neville. Seamus was laughing but Neville looked pale, "Seamus, I think Neville needs a lot more to drink."
Hannah tries to console her boyfriend as we all have a little fun with how he seemed really nervous.
"Hermione was just pointing out that she doesn't think love has anything to do with getting married," Seamus tells him.
"No, you misunderstood," Hermione defended herself, "I think love factors a lot into one's decision to marry. Many decide to marry because of love."
"Are you saying that you didn't?" Susan asks, horrified.
I'm horrified.
"Honestly now," Seamus did his best Hogwarts know-it-all Hermione impression, "Can you really imagine Hermione marrying for any other reason?"
"Thank you, Seamus," Hermione replied as the laughter died down, "All I'm saying is get a carriage because you want a carriage; not because you happen to have a horse."
"Honey, what is she drinking? I want some of that because I don't understand a word she's saying," Jessie quipped, maybe on the tipsy side already.
I clarify, "There's a Muggle saying; love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage. I think what Hermione is trying to say is that you best be in love when you get married but that doesn't mean you should get married just because you're in love. You should get married because you want to get married," I glance over to her, "Am I right?"
"Precisely."
"You agree?" Neville questions.
I nod. I never thought of it that way but hearing it for the first time now I do. I did get married basically because I was in love not knowing fully what exactly it was I was getting myself into.
"She's right."
"So why get a carriage?" Seamus asks the group.
"Because it's shiny, it's pretty and everyone wants one," Justin said sagely
"It's an expectation. Society wants you to get married," expressed Susan, who we all knew didn't want to get married, "But it's good for business so I shouldn't complain."
"It's nice to have one, actually," Padma admits, "It feels more secure riding in it that on a horse."
"Horses can carry more load over long distances with a good carriage," I take Padma's side, believing that to be true and partly making me feel better than I choose to have one.
"Or the carriage can break down a lot and wear the horse out," Hermione interjects, taking the opposite.
"Maybe it wasn't a good horse to begin with," I say.
"Maybe."
"Nothing to worry about honey," Seamus turns to Jessie, "Ours is a stud."
"It's the kids. When the kids get on the carriage, I don't care if that horse you have is a thoroughbred. Kids in the carriage definitely slow the horse down," Terry opines and Padma turns motherly.
"What a terrible thing to say about our kids!"
"I'm not saying that about our kids, I'm saying kids in general," Terry was in deep shit, "But it's true. Harry, you can back me up on this. Since having kids have you noticed how much less sex you have with Ginny?"
"Sex? What's sex?" I try to diffuse the situation.
We laugh, so does Padma and Hermione wordlessly acknowledges my good deed.
Susan adds, "My cousin says the same thing. He swears his kids have little radars. One minute they're asleep and he thinks he can get some, just as things heat up a bit, one wakes up and wants to sleep in their bed, between them."
We howl as Seamus and Jessie swear never to have kids. I think they're more serious about it than anyone else realizes.
"So, what does sex and kids have to do with the horse and the carriage?" Neville wasn't following.
"Sex is horse's hay," Justin explains slowly, "it keeps the horse alive."
"It's one of the things that keeps the horse alive," Padma quickly corrected, "There are others, as equally important."
"Good hay is all I need," Seamus said brashly.
"Great hay once in a while," Terry expressed wistfully, then with bitterness that seemed quite real, "Except when you're dragging a carriage more often than not you won't get good hay."
"Will you stop picking on the carriage already?" his wife rebukes him.
"My suggestion," I look at Neville in the eye, "Get lots of good hay before getting that carriage."
Neville turned pale, "But my grandmother always said to get the carriage first before having hay and make sure you have a horse before getting the carriage."
"That's just totally ridiculous!" Justin blurts out, "Hay can exist without the horse. To not have hay without the horse and the carriage?! That's setting us back to the nineteen hundreds."
Hermione jumps in, "Guys, enough already. Poor Neville's going to have nightmares about the bloody carriage."
But it goes downhill from there.
"Or have it in writing to have lots of hay in the carriage before buying it," Terry continues to dig himself a grave.
"It's not all about the hay," his wife argues, "A good horse gets good hay."
"I have to say I'm with Terry on this," I get into it, "Good hay keeps the horse healthy."
Hermione disagrees, "Horse should come before hay."
Seamus gets involved, "With me hay came first. It used to be all about hay."
"Hay can exist without a horse," I repeat what Justin said earlier, "But the horse can't exist without hay."
"Sure it can," Hermione argues.
"Seriously?" I confirm.
"In your experience, did your horse come before the hay?"
She knows my answer to this so I'm in trouble. There is this glint in her eye that she's got a good point to make and I answer knowing I am walking right into a trap.
"Yes, it did."
"If the horse can come before the hay then it must have existed without hay," she points out, "If it existed without hay before the hay came then therefore it can exist without hay."
I knew she would get me on that one.
"There seems to be a disparity amongst expert opinions," Justin jibes.
"Fine," I give in to her supposition, "I can imagine a horse existing without hay at first but it has to be fed to continue to exist. The hay can exist on its own and so can the carriage but not the horse. It has to have hay, in one form or another."
"I think we're talking of a different kind of horse."
I lift my brows, challenging her, "I've never heard of a horse that lives on without food."
She is forced to come up with an answer and she says the first thing that comes to mind, "A cursed horse does."
"A cursed horse?"
"A cursed horse," she repeats without further explanation.
I start laughing and she does too. Then everyone else does.
We are in tears when I finally tell her, "You do realize your arguments are sounding very much like Ron's."
"Yeah, it is kind of embarrassing."
The group moves on to talk more about what else to feed the horse to get it going. Us boys pretty much stick to our guns about the hay, especially after acquiring the carriage, while the girls insist that there are more important stuff, like romantic dates and dinners, surprise gifts, jewellery and apparently, not falling asleep right after having hay was right up there in the list.
It is becoming late. Terry and Padma have to leave. So do Neville, Hannah, Susan and Justin. Jessie and Seamus get into their own discussion. We turn to each other and I motion her to the bar. She takes her drink with her and I finally have her to myself. We sit down.
"So, how are you?" I ask her quietly.
"Just fine."
She looks fine for someone who is about to go through divorce. I don't believe her. Her 'I'm fines' have not sounded sincere for a long time, at least not to me.
I waste no time getting to the point, "What happened?"
"The inevitable," she said with an embarrassed smile on her face.
I only shake my head, amazed at her uncanny ability to remember things I say to her, even ones I don't want to remember. It was unsolicited advice days after they announced their engagement I gave her my two cents worth but she shut me out then, said she was happy.
When I press her for details she is frank about what she thinks went wrong and when they went wrong. I find out that she really thought things would work out with Ron. They were getting along so well, that was until she switched jobs and travelled less after she had Rosie more than a year ago. Being more at home than away and spending all that time with Ron highlighted the reasons why they broke up years ago and why they probably shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Ron is my best friend so I have to say something.
"Ron's quite devastated."
"I know," she replies.
"You're sure about this?"
"He asked you to make me change my mind, didn't he?"
She is right.
"He's not convinced you should give up."
"I can't let Rosie grow up seeing us like that. And I don't want it to get to the point that we don't respect each other anymore. It was time."
"Did I tell you he's devastated?"
"Did you tell him you think we're better off?"
"Yes."
"Then why are you harassing me?"
"So I can tell him I did. I promised I'd make a last ditch effort on his behalf."
She laughs knowing I've always been this way with Ron and her. And Ron and she both know I do this so I can remain friends with both of them even during their bitter fights.
"Tell him you did your best but I'm as stubborn as always and you can't understand why he'd want me back."
"I can understand why he wants his family back."
She kind of squirms.
"Can we talk about something else?"
"This is huge, Hermione," I tell her seriously, not letting her get off that easily and ask again "Have you really thought this through?"
She looks at me and nods; she has thought it through. She has no regrets. They have Rosie and all else, good and bad, pale in comparison. Children do have a way of doing that. I find I have nothing more to say.
"A cursed horse, huh?" I remember her passionate point earlier, still finding it amusing, "I take it you weren't talking about Ron."
She merely laughs again and asks the barkeep for another Screwdriver. I know it isn't Ron and I wonder who it is she is talking about, if there was indeed someone. I hope it isn't Warren. Before Ron she was with him.
I was quite worried about her then. That was just after Dean died. Ginny referred to that time as her 'year with the devil', when she worked for the NAIMP and with Warren. My wife has a very low opinion of my ex-partner. Hermione had always denied she was seeing him in that sense, but Ginny insisted and I had a feeling she was lying so we wouldn't worry and get on her case about it. I myself have a very low opinion of my ex-partner when it comes to his treatment of the women in his life.
It was a relief when their non-existent relationship finally became truly non-existent. She left the NAIMP and worked for Kingsley, mostly overseas diplomatic work. It was then when she began seeing Ron again. That was about two years after the Gaunt incident. I remember because that happened after we had James. Then weeks after Ginny became pregnant with Al, she married Ron. Warren wasn't at their wedding.
"I saw Warren the other week," I tell her.
"Oh? How is he?" she asks, genuinely curious.
I laugh inwardly as I recalled what he said then, that he was busy fulfilling the Hag's prophecy about seeding the world. I don't mention this to her.
"He seemed fine."
"Is he still with the IMP?"
He wasn't. I mention the rumours that he was doing freelance mercenary work. I know she's upset, maybe disappointed too although she is trying not to show it. She skilfully steers our conversation off to something else, about her new role in Kingsley's staff that will keep her London based for a while.
"An office at the Ministry. That's great. I'll be seeing more of you," I say honestly.
"It's good to be back."
She mentions how she briefly considered moving to Perth to be closer to her Mum but that she realized that would be unfair to Ron and Rosie. And besides, she has always considered London to be home and that was why she and Ron invested in a house in the outskirts of the city. They were planning on moving back from Edinburgh, well, before she asked him for a divorce. I ask her why not live at Grimmauld and she tells me she prefers the quiet Muggle neighbourhood. She thinks it better for Rosie to grow up there.
We talk a bit about the changes in the Ministry, the ongoing politics, and eventually we land on how Ginny and I are coping with the demands of our careers and of parenthood. I find myself easily admitting to her that not all is as great as it seems to everybody else.
"It's not exactly how I thought things would turn out to be," I say, frowning at the feeling of déjà vu that just hit me that we had talked about something like this before.
"What did you expect?" she asks.
"I don't know. Just not this," I hear myself say.
I can't explain it; this is the first time I'm thinking this and even I don't know what I really mean.
And before I know it I am venting frustration after frustration; how Ginny is away a lot and how when she's around the little time she has is spent mostly with James and Albus. I complain about how when we do find time for each other we don't talk about much else aside from the kids. It just seems that we constantly don't have time.
Hermione is listening attentively, letting me say what I didn't realize I've been holding back. I've never mentioned them to Ginny because they're horrible and I feel ashamed that I am thinking them.
"Don't beat yourself up too much," she says after.
"I was counting on you to chew my head off for being selfish."
"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you."
"Tell me I'm wrong to want Ginny to stop doing what she's doing so she can stay home and take care of our family."
"You are wrong."
"I should be more supportive."
"Uh-huh."
"I need to change my expectations."
"Probably."
"How do I stop myself from wanting that for my family?"
"I don't know," she replies honestly, "Have you mentioned this to Ginny?"
"I can't tell her because she'll give everything up for me if I do."
She understands what I mean, "I can definitely see her doing that."
"I don't want her to. Well, I do, but not if it comes from me," I'm deflated, "I feel such a hypocrite."
"You're not. You have wants. You're just being human," she is trying to make me feel better.
"Many days I am so tempted to tell her."
"It is hard to stay decent," she doesn't look at me but sports her trademark knowing smile, "And it is painful knowing how terrible human beings we can be. Even just thinking the possibility makes us feel bad, probably worse than actually crossing the line."
She speaks from her heart. She has been through something painful and similar.
"Have you ever crossed that line?"
"Yes, and it's not worth it. You lose yourself and it's hard to go back."
She looks at me and for the first time in a long while she lets me look into her eyes. Although it makes me uncomfortable somewhat for reasons I can't understand it is a good thing.
"You've changed," I tell her holding her gaze.
She smiles weakly and answers, "We've all changed, Harry."
"That's true," I reply then frown as I think for a while before I decide, "I kind of like this change."
"How so?"
"It's closer to the old you. I miss the old you."
She admits as much.
"I miss the old me, too."
I take her home. I think about what I came to see her for and what we ended up talking about. I am glad she is back in London. I can't imagine having the same conversation with anyone else and I kick myself for not reconnecting with her sooner. It felt off that she didn't tell me what I should do, though at our age it would probably be more strange if she did. But I did feel better knowing that someone understood.
As I leave we promise to get together when Ginny is back from Holyhead. I apologize for pouring my guilty conscious all over her on her first day back and she jokes that she doesn't mind hearing about my troubles as long as we don't talk about hers. We hug, this time longer, to comfort; at least that's how it feels for me.
Her embrace reminds me of who she is in my life and that she will always be that person for me. Hermione is the one being I can be totally open with, who didn't see me as a hero, who will accept me no matter what. What did she say? It was okay to feel what I was feeling because it was human to feel that way.
The thoughtful comment tugs at my heartstrings and lifts my spirits up. I am not as asinine as I think I am. Then something happens. I smell her perfume and I have to step away as I feel a fluttering knot in my stomach. And vaguely I think this isn't the first time I've felt this way about her.
I brush the thought aside. Yes, I am human. On my way to the Burrow I still don't know what to do about Ginny.
Love, marriage and children - I have all those now and my life isn't quite how I imagined it would be. What if this as good as it gets?
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Present Day - Southeast Asia - 9am Local Time , 3am London Time
Harry was seething with rage.
"What are you up to?!" he confronted Warren, trying to keep his voice down but not succeeding.
"I'm trying to keep her alive!"
"She has magical injuries! She needs to be in a magical hospital!"
"Malvado will find out. He will come after her again!"
"Then let him try," Harry retorted, "We'll be ready for him!"
"You can't protect her!"
"No one will touch her while I'm alive!"
Warren rolled his eyes up and said in a patronizing tone, "He'll just kill you then he'll kill her. Then your wife will be a widow and your brats will be orphans. Normally I wouldn't care but I did promise her I will do my best to prevent you from getting yourself killed..."
Harry had enough. He took a step in and hissed through gritted teeth so only Warren could hear.
"Look, you're an asshole. We all know that. But stop fucking around and tell me what this is all about. And if you so much as fib I will take you down and drag you to the IMP prison myself."
He glared at the Canadian. Warren knew he never made empty threats. The ex-Auror motioned him over to a more private nook. Harry went with him and when Jessie followed Warren stopped.
"It's okay," Harry said to Jessie, "I've got this."
Jessie went back to Hermione's bedside and once they settled at the spot, Warren spoke, "Two years ago the IMP sent me here with five others to infiltrate the Malvados and terminate their leader. It took us a year to get close enough only to find out that Malvado cannot be killed."
"What do you mean?"
"He's invincible. Nothing can kill him, Muggle or Magical."
Several thoughts went through his mind. Horcruxes, Hallows…
"How?"
"We don't know for sure, though he claims he is immortal because he is Death's son."
"Really," Harry was sceptical.
"So he's fucking crazy but still indestructible. Hermione was helping me find out how to get rid of him and Malvado wants her dead because he found out she was once Jean Peverell. He's afraid of Jean Peverell. He believes she is the Mistress of the Elder wand and the only one who has the potential to be as invincible as he is. That's also why he wants the Hallows. He wants to prevent her from uniting them and becoming the Mistress of Death."
"Whoa! Back up for a sec," Harry raised his hand and tried to keep up, "I'm obviously missing many pieces here. Gaunt died Master of the Wand. Hermione wasn't its mistress."
"I hate to be the one to break this to you but she lied to you and to everyone else," Warren replied, "The wand was loyal to her that night Gaunt tried to kill her. She thinks she might have accidentally wrestled its allegiance from you while she was helping you train before you became an Auror."
Okay - that was possible…
"So Malvado's men are looking for the Hallows?"
"Well, one of them - your Invisibility Cloak. Malvado paid a visit to your Minister a few weeks ago, took from him the stone and information on how to break into Dumbledore's Hogwarts tomb," Warren continued, "As you know the wand is not in the grave anymore. Jericho agreed to actively look for the cloak and hand it over to Malvado. In exchange Malvado promised to spare London and Great Britain from his control."
"Leo hired Borgin to hire thieves to find the cloak," Harry said out loud.
"Exactly. Where's the cloak?" Warren asked him.
"What makes you think I have the cloak?"
"Fuck. You're not the Keeper," Warren concluded and began talking to himself, "Who else would she trust? I can't think she'd trust her clueless ex-husband with it."
"Watch it," Harry warned. "Who are the POTH?"
"It's a group she set up years ago to keep an eye on the Hallows. As far as I'm concerned they're a nuisance. They have no real power or real capability to keep the Hallows from falling into the wrong hands, as you can see and more so because they can't even say where the Hallows are to tell us who can. Malvado is going through them because he thinks one of them is the Keeper. Hermione isn't that stupid."
"How did Malvado find out about them?"
"Word gets around. I didn't know until he had sent out his vultures. I did my part. I warned Grawp and Phil and tried to save Burkes."
"You killed Borgin and framed Burkes for his death?"
The Canadian answered, "Borgin was already dead. I merely moved his body and spread the word that he was likely killed by his partner. Burkes would have never been able to protect himself on his own. He'd still be alive today if your men arrested him as they should have."
"And Phil the Free elf?"
"He was in hiding when he died. Grawp refused help. Then I got busy here."
Warren was backpedalling, flushed from his interrogation and Harry wasn't convinced he was telling the truth.
"Who else is he after?"
"There was your old professor Flitwick who passed away some time ago. Aside from Hermione there's only one left. The MLE Gumonhisshoe is smart. He'll lie low."
Harry counted them in his mind. Hermione, Burkes, Phil, Grawp, Gumonshisshoe, Flitwick.
"That makes six."
"There are only six."
Really.
"Why them?"
"No fucking clue," Warren's impatience was showing; he was looking at the timeteller, "You're gonna have to ask her when she wakes up."
Harry put on the pressure, "Leo said you sold her out."
"No, it wasn't me," Warren flinched, "It was him. He just doesn't realize Malvado has been in and out of his mind. Malvado has spies everywhere. She went to a meeting of magical being leaders and got ambushed by Malvado. He knew Jean Peverell would be at that meeting."
Harry weighed the information. Some of them made sense, some didn't.
"Where were you when she got hurt?"
Warren stared at him and answered evenly, "I was part of the attack party."
That was for sure true. Harry listened carefully as Warren recounted how it happened and how he saved Hermione's life. It was obvious from the story that the Biomorph was a high ranking Malvado henchman.
"How close are you to Malvado?"
"Close."
"How close?" he repeated emphatically.
"I'm in his inner circle," he finally admitted.
"Then take him down. Bring him in. If you need help…"
Warren cut him off, firm in his reply, "We've tried that. That's how my team got killed. There's no taking him in. Malvado has to be terminated."
Harry had no jurisdiction to even begin to judge what should and shouldn't be done. A Dark Wizard targeted by the IMP for outright termination…it seemed quite barbaric not to mention a gross violation of being rights. And Hermione was helping Warren do this? Warren looked at the time again.
"Look, I have to see Jericho, an errand for Malvado. When I get back we should talk strategy about how to get the stone and wand from him. I strongly suggest that you don't move her. She's getting better. Jessie said so. As long as Malvado doesn't know she's alive she'll be safe here. There are wards and I've enlisted loyal local beings to protect her. In the meantime, think of where she could have hidden the cloak or who she could have made Keeper. She'll need the cloak when she wakes up."
As Warren was about to leave, Harry needed to clarify a couple of points.
Harry asked him, "How long has she known that Malvado is invincible?"
"A few months," his answer was a guess.
"I'm just wondering why she didn't retrieve the cloak, the wand and the stone and challenged Malvado then."
Warren has a ready answer, "Because up until that night she wasn't entirely convinced uniting the Hallows was the solution. She had been Mistress of Death before and does not like the idea of becoming Mistress of Death again."
That sounded like Hermione indeed. It kind of stung that she was Mistress of Death and she didn't tell him, and quite insulting that Warren knew. It must have been horrible for her not to tell him about it even after the fact and to not want to be mistress a second time.
Harry temporarily cast the hurtful revelation aside and continued, "There's one other thing. You said she was hit by Malvado's AK at the exact moment you suspended the attack and switched her body with a Biomorph."
"Yes."
"How do you know the wand is still loyal to her?"
Warren replied gravely, "I don't. I can only hope that it still is because the alternative is unthinkable."
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Halfway across the room Hugo sat beside his Mum holding her hand. He couldn't understand why Warren did what he did. It was mean and cruel to let her family believe she was dead. And though he probably shouldn't have eavesdropped Hugo couldn't understand why Warren chose to lie to his father.
He didn't know what to do. All he knew was that his father could help and that Warren was not letting him. Warm tears fell on the white sheet, some on his Mum's hand. He brushed them off and squeezed her fingers praying…
"Mum, wake up. We need you…wake up…"
But his Mum did not stir. He had to do something. He couldn't just know and not do something. When Warren left, he walked over to his father.
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A/N. Do note that the last parts did happen before Warren's meeting with the Minister in the chapter before this.
Hope you liked the HHr here. It was fun to write.