A/N: So sorry this chapter is late! I had a really busy weekend. But it's up now for you to read and enjoy. Hopefully. A lot of you have submitted song ideas for me already, and I just want to thank you all! I'm still in the process of listening to them, so if anyone else wanted to submit some, the floor is still open. Brownie points to anyone who can guess where the inspiration for the bathroom scene came from =] Until next chapter, my lovelies!
Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine. I'm not JKR, nor do I wish to be. Her sense of romance is seriously disturbed.
Enjoy!
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A "Date" With Harry Potter
"Hermione?" He repeated, this time more firm.
I shied away from his voice at first, ashamed that he had caught me at such a vulnerable moment. I wasn't even angry that it was him who had found me. To be perfectly honest, I didn't even care. I just wanted to be left alone to drown myself in the past for awhile. But as I held onto my silence, I realized what this situation had turned into, what significance it held, and it scared the living hell out of me.
"Go away." I said softly, not wanting to raise my voice any higher than what was necessary. I was no stranger to what happened when you tried to juggle talking and crying, and the last thing I wanted to do was give Potter another reason to stay right where he was.
He was silent for a moment after I spoke. The possibility that he was actually going to listen to me for once began to creep up in my mind and I let a small wave of calmness wash over me.
"No."
His negative phrase reverberated about the room. I craned my head up slowly, not sure I had heard him correctly. Our eyes met and I saw how determined he looked. Unwavering, even. Not wanting to waste my time thinking of a retort that would insult and/or damage him, I backed up into the cubicle behind me and shut the door. I pressed my back against the left side and closed my eyes.
"Just leave me alone."
I opened one eye and saw his feet begin to shuffle. My hopes began to warm up once more, but, of course, they were once again torn down as they moved two paces to the right. I heard the creak of the cubicle door next to mine open and put my head in my hands. A second later, I felt a slight pressure on the wall behind me moved slightly to accommodate his back weight.
"What part of `Go away' and `Leave me alone' don't you understand?" I asked, becoming more and more frustrated with him the longer he stayed.
"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong." He stated firmly. There was nothing in his voice that suggested any different.
I remained silent, refusing to give him the satisfaction. This was a façade to find my weak spot, I just knew it. He would use this conversation against me later like he always did.
"Was it what Ron said?"
"No."
So much for remaining silent.
"Was it me?"
I paused before speaking, wanting to make him wait. Suffer. He didn't seem to like that tactic too much.
"Well?" He asked impatiently.
I sniffed to clear my nasal passages. I was about to answer when a thought struck me. This-this moment seemed like the perfect setup for closure. The past six years have been pure hell for me because of what happened in here. What if I brought up the topic with him to seal up the wound? He and I had never talked about it before. I had never talked to anyone about it before. Perhaps that's what has been torturing me all along, my inability to express my past. What harm could it really do if I started to talk about it, anyways? I already hated him.
"You realize where we are, don't you?"
And there it was, up in the air. All that was left was his response and this could all be over.
There was silence from his stall. I could picture him looking around the confined space, as if that would help stir up old memories. It continued like that for a good minute, and by then I was sure that he had forgotten. I opened my moth to yell at him to get out once more, regretting ever considering bringing up such a raw subject. But then he spoke and stopped me in my tracks, figuratively speaking.
"I haven't been here in six years."
His voice was soft, careful. I knew at once that we were now on the same page as I let out a small breath of relief and nodded as if he could see me. "Me either. I think it's ironic how I came here when I was upset."
"Or fate."
"What?"
"Nothing."
Another pause.
I had heard exactly what he had said, but couldn't find the will to question it. Fate, he thought. What an interesting way to put it. Was it fate that lead me-us-here? If it was then what was I doing arguing? I should just go for it, go for the closure that I really needed to stop acting like an obsessed moron and get over it. I could finally rest knowing that I told someone how I felt that day and how much it still haunted me. Someone that might be able to do something about it, even if it was a slim chance. It was the main reason that I didn't associate with people my own age. Well, except for Joe, but that's different. I may have an outer shell as hard as a turtle's, but that doesn't mean I'm made entirely of stone. Now was the time to harden that inner layer by taking advantage of this situation by simply talking about it. Even if it was with Potter, I knew it would help. It was probably better this way, anyway.
I inhaled some more air through my still lightly clogged nose, but he beat me to the punch yet again.
"How much did you know about me before you came to Hogwarts?"
I felt confused at the abrupt change of subject. Goodbye, closure. "What do you mean?"
"That day, six years ago… Ron said you knew more about me than I did. How much did you know?"
I shrugged to myself. "Just a few facts that I picked up from books, I guess. I didn't know much more than anyone else at that point."
"Really?" He asked slowly. That word had apprehensiveness, surprise, and relief all wound tight in its one syllable. How articulate of him.
"Yeah, really." I said, slightly mocking him. "Why do you ask?"
I could hear him inhale sharply. "So you're saying that you never intended to use me?"
"Use you… what-what are you talking about?"
"You never once considered being my friend for the share in the glory?"
I was about to ask what potions he'd been sniffing lately when it hit me: Weasley. Weasley said something like that here, in this bathroom, six years ago. Not in the exact same words or context, obviously, but it was similar enough so that I could connect the two. I heard a high pitched eleven-year-old boy's voice echo in my head. "Come on, Harry, think about it. You didn't even know you were famous until you came here. Everyone wants to know you, to be your friend, what makes Granger here any different? You remember on the train. She knew more about you than you did! All the evidence points to it, you just need to think about it a bit harder, use your noggin. People want to use you, Harry. You know they do."
"Why does it matter?" I asked, folding my arms around my now heavily heaving chest. "You made up your mind on who to believe a while ago. It's not even imp-important anymore. What's done is done."
"But I want to know the truth!" He defended.
"Why?" I asked, sharp as a meat cleaver. "Why now and not six years ago?"
"Because now-now I have a broader mind to the subject and you obviously haven't forgotten about it judging by the way you stormed out of Charms when you and Ron started arguing."
"I did not storm out; I excused myself from class to find a quiet place to think."
"Bullshit." He said darkly. "We both know that we can never truly run away from out pasts, even if it's the one thing we want most in this world. There are reminders all around us. And for you, it's me."
"What are you on about, Potter?"
"Harry." He corrected. I rolled my eyes as he continued on. "I mean that I'm your reminder. Every time you look at me, your anger from six years ago comes out. It doesn't even matter if I'm nice to you or not, you'll always hate me for something I'm not even sure I did."
"You honestly don't know what you did?" I asked numbly.
"No!" He exclaimed. "For Merlin's sake, tell me or I'll-"
"You listened to him."
Pause. "Excuse me?"
"To Ron-you listened to Ron. You chose to believe his lies over the words of an innocent girl who just nearly got mauled by a troll! At first I just thought that it would pass, but no. You chose a life of tormenting me beside your best mate for reasons and motives that I still don't understand."
"You just… you knew so much about me. More than I knew, and-"
"See that's the thing." I interrupted, knowing exactly where this conversation was heading. "Everyone knew more about you than you did. But the one time that someone who knew who you were but didn't care, as long as you considered her a friend-you pushed me away. Shoved me far away into a lonely existence where the only people who would listen to me were my parents and professors. Do you know how lonely I've been?"
"Gods, Hermione." He moaned, his position on the floor slacking as he slid further into the ground. "It was-it was just so much easier to side with Ron and believe what he said. I wasn't used to being famous, but knew from day one that there were people out there that wanted to get close to me because of my name. Ron knew that, too, so he was only trying to help me out. I listened to him because he was already my friend who liked me for me. I barely knew you back then, so my young conscience told me to the logical thing."
"And what was that, exactly?" I asked coolly.
I heard him sigh. "Go with Ron and figure it out."
"What did you come up with, then?" I spat. "Obviously nothing good since you dedicated the next few years ridiculing and teasing me."
"Well Ron said-"
"Oh Ron said it was okay to make someone's life miserable, to make her feel as if there was no way she could ever have any friends. Ron told you to go around and tell people not to talk to me because I was weird. That makes perfect sense. Just listen to everything that Weasley says and that'll be the way to go, the right thing."
"I was eleven-"
"That didn't give you the excuse to have treated me like that and continue to do so six bloody years later!" I screamed, having enough of his crap. I jumped from my place on the ground and pulled open the cubicle door to leave.
Potter was quick to follow and sprinted to block my exit before I could go anywhere. I glared and tried to move past him, but he kept moving his position to mirror me. I growled at him and placed my hands on my hips.
"I know." He said softly.
I craned my head to look him, my eyes shining with newly forming tears. Damn female emotions. The last thing I needed to do was cry more. "Then why did you do it?"
"I… I don't know."
I furrowed my brow. "You don't? Well, I do. It's because you're a coward. You can't do things alone so you surround yourself with others who can think for you. You mooch off of them like some clingy leech, sucking their ideas and knowledge from their heads and using it to run your life."
He pointed an accusing finger at me. "That's not true. I may always be surrounded by people, but that doesn't mean I want to be."
"You're one hell of an actor, then, because you sure fooled me."
He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, as though he was getting a headache. Come to think of it, my cranium is beginning to swell a bit, too. Maybe if I sneak past him and sprint to the Head's dorm, I could finally be rid of him and this sensitive-though slightly stimulating-topic for a while with a clear conscience. Merlin knows that would wonders for my red rimmed eyes and stuffy nose. Before I could take another step around him, though, he opened his eyes. Damn Potter and his immaculate timing.
"I'll tell you what. If I convince you that I'm a good person, make up for all the years I was being a complete prat, will you reconsider your opinions of me?"
"No." I said bluntly. "Nothing you say or do can change what you did. You can try, but you won't win me over."
"That sounds like a challenge to me." He said with a cocky grin.
I scowled. "I didn't mean it like that."
"Too late. Congratulations, Miss Granger, you just won a date with Harry Potter."
I snorted. "No, no way."
"Okay, it's not a date. It's an… ahh… fun day. Yes. You've just won a fun day with Harry Potter. Come on, let's get going!" He grabbed my arm and started dragging me down the empty corridor.
"You can't possibly mean now!" I said in shock.
He nodded and continued leading me down the hallway.
"But I need to get back to class!"
He shrugged. "We're skipping class."
"Excuse me?!"
He stopped suddenly and released his grip on my arm. I had to quickly flail my arms about to keep from falling. Potter put a steadying hand on my shoulder and I thanked him with a nod.
"Look, Hermione. I know you're a stiff about your classes, but let's be honest here. You're ahead of every last one of them by at least two weeks, am I right?" I blushed and dropped my gaze to the floor. "That's what I thought. You need a day off, and what better way to enjoy it than by exploring the depths of Hogwarts with me?"
"You can't be serious?" I asked in amusement as I turned my eyes on him once more. He looked at me in a way that told me that there was no joke present in his request. "We'll get detention if we're caught-or worse, get expelled!"
He let out a chuckle. "No, we won't. No one knows the castle better than I do."
"Oh really?" I asked skeptically. "I've read all about this place and-"
"You can't learn everything about somewhere by simply reading, Hermione." He said teasingly. "You have to find out for yourself."
I let out a breath and looked around. There were no teachers around, and Potter did have a point. I work my arse off every day while I'm here. I did deserve a break. The only thing holding me back was the company. I looked over at him to see him smiling and waiting for an answer. I bit my lip, weighing my options. If I didn't go, I would hate him forever still (no real change there) and go back to classes where I learned what I already knew. If I went, I'd be with Potter all day, but would be exploring Hogwarts castle and learning much more about it than any book would provide. It would be an educational experience. And, to be perfectly honest, the prospect of possibly getting caught was exciting. It would be dangerous, it would be risky, it would be fun to break the rules.
"Alright, Potter." I said, making my decision. "You can take me exploring with you on one condition."
He looked positively giddy. "What?"
"You have to promise me that you won't try anything sneaky, and that this isn't a trick."
"Hermione why would I trick you?" He asked, slightly hurt.
"Just promise."
He nodded. "Well yeah, I promise."
"Good. Now where are we off to?"
"Well I was thinking of showing you one of Hogwarts' more hidden beauties."
Excitement bubbled in my chest. "You mean secret passageways?"
"Something like that."
I grinned and began to follow him down the hall. But before we could get too far, I stopped in my tracks and cursed quietly. "I forgot my bag."
He seemed nonplussed by it. "No problem, I'll go get it for you."
"No it's okay I'll-"
He was already halfway down the hallway. I smiled and waited a minute for him to come rushing back, my bag secured on his shoulder, not a paper out of place. I held out my hand to get it back, but he shook his head. "I'll carry it."
"You really don't have to."
"I want to."
I gave him an odd look, not really sure why he was doing this. "Erm… alright."
He smiled and we continued on our way once again. I didn't pay much mind to where we were heading; knowing that when we arrived at the place he was leading us to, I would recognize it. The only thing I was going to be looking out for was what Potter was going to do once we got there.
After a few minute's walk, we arrived at a blank wall. I looked around and saw the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy that told me we were in a hallway on the seventh floor. I opened my mouth to ask what we were doing here when Potter abruptly changed directions, turning to his left and walking away. I was quick to follow his lead. After only a few paces, he turned directions again and headed back towards the tapestry. I didn't question him, thinking he had forgotten something. We headed a few paces past the tapestry before turning back around. Okay, maybe he was having an off day. After two more trips back and forth in the same corridor, I spoke up.
"Are you lost or something? In case you haven't noticed, we've passed that tapestry three times already!"
He shook his head. "I'm not lost."
"Then what are you-"
"Turn around." He instructed.
I rolled my eyes, mumbling to myself how barmy he was acting. But all negative thoughts ran out of my mind as I came face-to-face with a door I knew hadn't been there before. "What happened, what did you do?"
"I didn't do anything, Hogwarts did."
I snorted. "Alright, alright, very funny. Now tell me what Hogwarts did."
"Wait a second, and I'll show you."
He walked past me briskly and pulled open the door, walking inside. I had no choice but to follow him. What awaited me inside was unlike anything I had ever seen before. It was a room that mirrored a spring afternoon, complete with freshly mown grass, dandelions, and trees. I tilted my head to see that the ceiling was enchanted, much like the one in the great hall. It was a clear blue sky with marshmallow-like clouds floating lazily across. The sun was in a near corner and I had to shield my eyes once I found it. Potter had already moved towards the middle of the room where there lay a checkered red and white picnic blanket with a woven basket, two sets of plates, silverware, and twin glasses. It looked like a scene from a cheesy romance movie.
"What is this place?" I asked in wonder as I began to walk over to him.
"This is one of the castle's most useful secrets. You've no doubt read about the Room of Requirement in your books."
I gasped. "This is the Room of Requirement? I've read all sorts of things about it, but have never seen it for myself. Does it really change in accordance to what the person needs?"
He nodded. "Indeed it does. I was hungry, and desperately wanting the snow to melt, so it conjured up this little scene for us. It's nearly lunchtime, you know."
I smiled and looked once more around the room. "It's amazing."
"Yeah, I know. My friend showed it to me a while back. I like to come here sometimes so that no one can find me."
I looked over at him curiously. "You showed me your secret hiding place?"
He laughed. "I guess so, yeah. But don't go spreading it around."
"Oh I won't. This is too good of a secret to go mucking it all up. If word got out, this place would be worn out and loose it's magic."
"My thoughts exactly." He said with a smile. "Care to join me?"
I looked over at him and saw that he was unloading the picnic basket. I walked gingerly over to him and sat down. He pulled out a fistful of sandwiches, a small container of soup, and a large glass of pumpkin juice. I suspected there was more in the bag, but I grabbed one of the sandwiches anyway, unwrapping it greedily and taking a small bite. Potter also dug into the meal, filling the two glasses with pumpkin juice.
We sat in silence for a while, eating our lunch. Naturally, Potter was the first one to speak.
"So is my plan working?"
"What plan?" I asked, digging in the picnic basket until I pulled out an apple.
"The plan to win you over."
Shit. I'd almost forgotten and it couldn't have been a half hour. "Oh, that. It's going fine, I guess, if you believe `the way to a person's heart is through their stomach' cliché."
"Fantastic."
I saw him take a spoonful of soup and bit my lip. This really wasn't so bad, even if I had expected more danger and less conversation. He hadn't taken one jibe at me the entire time we'd been alone, plus he'd shown me his getaway. Though I didn't quite like to think it, he was doing a fine job at trying to prove my opinion of him wrong. But what had made him so concerned about me in the first place? I pushed the question aside for the time being. For now, I just wanted to enjoy this moment while it lasted. It wouldn't be long before this all turned for the worst and we were back at each other's throats. Time was the real enemy here.
"So tell me your story." He said after a gulp of juice.
"Pardon?"
"Tell me your life story."
"Why? It's rather boring…"
"I don't care. Just go on and tell me everything about you up until this point. Then we can trade home horror stories or something equally as corny."
I smiled. "It might take a while…"
He shrugged. "I don't care, just talk."
And so I did. I started with before I came to Hogwarts, how my horrible aunts and cousins were my least favorite people, closely followed by him. I even told him about life after the troll incident, and how I buried myself deeper in my studies. I talked about everything, and he just sat there and listened. No interruptions, but maybe a small laugh or smile once in a while. I didn't tell him, however, about Joe Bloggs. No one besides Sue knew about him, and I wanted to keep it that way. I don't think he expected me to reveal every tiny detail, anyway. But if he did, he would be very disappointed.
By the time I finished, I could tell it was nearly the end of classes. As if to prove me right, Potter looked at his watch and whistled low in his throat.
"Looks like we're going to have to save this for another time."
I tried to hide my disappointment, but didn't do a very good job. He didn't say anything, though, surprising me once more with how much effort he was putting into this impromptu not-date. I helped him clean up, though I knew that the room would probably manage well enough by itself. We were both stalling. And the funny thing is that I went along with it. Me, the one living person in this world who hated Potter more than anyone else, was helping stall our time together. Call the Daily Prophet, alert the loony bin!
It was a joke.
We exited the room together and took a quick look around before making our way back to our common room. Our trip was silent, but not the tense kind that usually surrounded the two of us. It was nice, a relief. He hadn't tricked me or tried anything sneaky. It was just an afternoon spent by two people skipping class. I laughed silently to myself, thinking about the irony of it all. Wait until Sue heard about this.
He voiced the password to Marie and she shot me a knowing smile. What she knew, I wasn't sure, but I ignored it as we entered. Potter had carried my bag the entire way back, and now set it on one of the armchairs near the fireplace. We both collapsed onto the sofa.
"I have to say that I'm impressed." I said honestly.
He smiled cheekily over at me. "See? I told you I'm not such a bad guy."
"I still don't forgive you, though."
He sighed heavily. "I figured, and I don't really expect you too. For a while, that is."
"And what's that supposed to mean?" He swiftly got off of the couch and I straightened up to see him walking back upstairs. "What do you have up your sleeve, Potter?"
He didn't even bother correcting me, but instead turned around with a boyish grin. "I don't know what you're talking about, Hermione."
But before I could retort, he climbed the stairs up to his room. And then I did the last thing I thought I'd ever do around or because of him.
I laughed.
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