A/N: Happy Easter!! Thank you all sooo much for understanding my need for a day off, it means a lot to me. I really hope you like this last chapter because I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out. Keep in mind that this is the LAST CHAPTER BEFORE THE EPILOUGE! (Yeah, it did need all caps) So don't panic just yet. Feel free to share any thoughts about how you think the epilogue is going to go. Who knows, you may be right or give me another idea to make it better :)
Update for new story: It's pretty much between two stories by now. In first place is Hermione's Guide to Newfound Sorcery, 643 votes. In second, Not Another Vampire Story!, 427 votes. Voting will be open for one week after the Epilouge is posted, so you still have time to duke it out for your favorite and maybe knock one of the top contenders out of the running!
Special thanks to my beta, Vincent! I think I'll keep you around for awhile, lol.
Enjoy!
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The Game
Maybe leaving Potions class was a bad idea.
Since it was my last class of the day, I didn't need to worry about missing out on much when I locked myself away in my room. Was I being immature? Not likely. Was I overreacting a bit? Perhaps, but I don't think anyone else put in this situation would react any differently. Not that I would know, although I had an inkling that it would go about in a similar fashion. But he had no right. No right at all to act the way he had. Harry had known for months that we were writing each other and chose to ignore his better judgment and press on with his… his… Harry-ness! Gods, how could I be so ignorant? The signs had all been there and I was just too blind to see them. Even as early as our first few weeks of writing, I was handed the answer on a silver platter. He had come into a freaking stationary store in search of new parchment; I had run into him buying something from an owl supply shop.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Because of my ignorance, I was now buried deep within the depths of my bed, clinging to a pillow for dear life, and trying my hardest not to scream. All of this "playing hard to get in order to teach him a lesson" thing really wasn't working out too well. Instead of feeling any source of victory or glee, I just felt empty. Was that normal? No, I don't think so. Looks like I'm not cut out for this evil, manipulative, bitch-type behavior. Thank Merlin. I'd rather be curled up in the library than here any day. How do other girls deal with this kind of crap? They must have no soul or something.
I heard a knock at the door, but ignored it. Only one person had access to this room and I didn't want to continue this charade any longer with him. I had meant what I said. I needed more than desire from him. Sure, desire was a part of love, but it wasn't the entirety. You still needed faith, compatibility, trust, and so many more sensations. Love was just one big math problem, you needed a compilation of specific emotions to make it work right, otherwise, all you had was a heavy heart. And right now, that's exactly what I thought was happening. My chest felt like a ton of bricks had been placed directly over the blood-pumping organ. I couldn't exactly place how or why I was reacting like this to something I had said, but I didn't want to think about it. All I could place in my mind right now was a confusing mixture of anger and perplexity. Oy vey.
The knocking continued and I covered my ears with the palms of my hands. Go away, I thought. Granted, I really should have said that aloud, but at the moment I wasn't exactly at the top of my game. What I really needed right now was a pepper-up potion to calm down the massive headache I felt coming on.
"Hermione, please open the door." Harry's muffled voice came through the wooden barrier.
"No."
"I'm sorry about Potions."
"You have nothing to apologize for." I lied.
"Liar."
I couldn't resist letting a smile spread. He knew me well, I can give him that much. But that's only one-one thousandth of the love equation. I needed more than that, and if he had learned anything from Potions, he should know.
"Why can't we just talk?"
"Because I-"
I paused and thought about it for a moment. There was nothing. He had every right to come in here and explain himself, even though I desperately wanted him not to. There was nothing holding us back but me, and I had already been selfish enough. So before the hesitation could pull me back any further, I lifted myself from the confines of my bed, disentangled my limbs from the pillow, and opened the door.
He looked miserable. His eyes were downturned and shone with a certain sadness that made my heart lurch. His clothes were ragged, as though he had gotten in a scuffle before he had come. There was also a sheen of sweat on his brow that I assumed meant he had run here. All in all, it was more than enough for me to move to the side to let him in.
His arm brushed aside mine as he entered, looking around the room for a moment before turning around to face me. I nodded towards the fireplace and followed him to sit on the floor just in front of the dull flames. He took a breath and I reminded myself to listen to him. Yes, he didn't deserve it, but the fact was that he was still here.
"I'm just going to skip the rest of the apologies, if that's alright with you." He said evenly.
I nodded. "I think you've used up enough of my time by repeating them."
He flinched and I immediately felt guilty for being so cold. Gods, I was such a bitch. But before I could apologize, he continued in the same even tone. "I just wanted to say that you were right. Today in Potions was completely unintentional, and I didn't mean for it to be my act of proving myself. So I came here to ask for another chance."
"Don't you think I've given you enough of those by now?"
"You've given me more than enough. But I just-Hermione I need you in my life, and if I can prove that to you, I'll be the happiest man on Earth. I can't think of a world without you anymore. You've become the single most important person in my life and I've been an idiot not to treat you right. You deserve so much more from me, and I think that if you give me just one more shot, I can prove it."
And of course, Hermione the pessimist came out by saying, "And what if you can't?"
He didn't miss a beat. "Then I hope that you will find someone who will do all the things I've done, but better."
There was a pregnant silence before I made up my mind. To tell you the truth, I had made it up the moment I saw him, but hearing his explanation just made it all the better. "Alright. But you have to do it by tomorrow, because I don't know if I can take much more of this."
A large close-lipped smile replaced his earlier frown and I felt my gut lurch a bit. "You won't be disappointed, I promise."
And then he pulled me close and hugged me to his chest. I didn't realize how much I missed being close to him like this. The last time this happened was the day he barged into the common room all battered up, and we all know what happened after that. But even though I wanted desperately for that to happen just one more time, I settled for returning the hug briefly and then pulling back. He didn't seem very disappointed that I did so, but I figured he had expected as much. He placed a tender kiss on my cheek and then left without a word.
One more chance, Harry, I thought. I really hope you don't muck it all up.
Not long after he left, I lay down in front of my fireplace and soaked up the warmth of the fire against my skin. If someone had told me six months ago that I was waiting for Harry Potter to prove that he was good enough for me, I would have sent them to a funny farm. But now, it was all that was on my mind. I kept on wondering what he was going to try, what he was going to do. There were billions of possibilities, each more cheesy than the next. And every single one of them was giving me a headache. If only there was a place that could allow me to forget all of this, if only for a moment.
My back stiffened as I realized there was a place like that, and it was only a few minutes walk.
I didn't bring anything but the clothes on my back as I exited the common room. And thankfully, I didn't pass Harry, either. He must be in his room, thinking. I quickened my pace as I opened and closed Marie's portrait. I didn't even bother to look back. Since she was still giving me the silent treatment, I don't think she minded much as long as I didn't slam her against a wall or something.
The walk was short, as I had remembered. I reached the familiar corridor and paced three times in front of the blank wall that most people wouldn't pay any mind to. But since Harry had shown me the room a few weeks ago, I now had somewhere that could serve as a neutral non-thinking ground. All I had to do was think of a place that could help me relax and the room would provide me with one. At least, that's what I was going for.
A door appeared immediately after my third pace and I opened it quickly, shutting it behind me immediately after I had entered. The lights of the room dimmed to life and I found myself in a room very similar to a library. Of course. The walls were all lined with bookshelves from floor to ceiling in what I assumed to be alphabetical order by author, because if they weren't, my stress level would only be worse because I'm picky like that. The floor was covered in maroon plush carpet that felt like heaven beneath my shoes. I made a note to take those off later. In the dead center was a very large sofa that reminded me of the one in my own home. I spent many of my early days there reading, watching the telly, or spending time with mum and dad. All of the lighting was minimal and came from a few well placed wall lamps. It wasn't a large room, but it was just what I needed.
I slipped off my shoes and walked over to one of the bookshelves, pulling a random book from one of the nearby shelves (and yes, they were alphabetized), and settled into the plush couch to begin reading. I made it through the first ten chapters before falling asleep.
"Miss Granger…"
I opened my eyes to the familiar voice. It took a moment to get adjusted to the bright light fixtures around me. The room I was in was all white, with one big light shining down on me. I felt a small pain in my chest and hissed as I took in a large breath. It hurt, a lot. But breathing only made it worse. I tried to control the air entering and leaving my system in small bursts. I got the pain to subside a little within a few seconds and looked around for the source of the voice that had awoken me.
I saw the smiling face of a woman in her late thirties with golden hair and bright hazel eyes looking down at me, clutching a clipboard. She was wearing a healer's uniform that I recognized from my few trips to St. Mungo's hospital. So that was where I was-in St. Mungo's.
"Nice to see you awake, Miss Granger."
"How long was I asleep?"
She glanced at her clipboard for a moment. "Three days."
"Three days?!" I shouted, not being able to control my surprise.
"Now, now, calm down, Miss Granger. It's perfectly normal to remain unconscious for long periods of time in your condition. In fact, three days is considered to be minimal."
Alright, now I was even more confused. "Condition, what condition?"
She tilted her head to the side. "You mean, you don't remember?"
"Obviously not," I hissed.
She scribbled something down on her clipboard without taking her eyes off me. "I'll go and fetch your doctor for you, then; he'll explain everything to you."
"Wait!"
But she had already left the room.
I leaned back in the squishy hospital bed and heard it crunch underneath me. Obviously, the nurse knew something I didn't, and the only indicator that I had any sort of "condition" was the ever-present pain in my chest, which seemed to double as I got more annoyed. I made a note to write a letter to St. Mungo's later and complain about the treatment of patients as soon as they woke up after a three day nap. You would think the person in the room would fill you in. A family member, at least!
At the thought of family, I twisted my neck all around the room, looking for the small alcove reserved for chairs and tables to be occupied by friends and family. I found one to my left against the only window in the room. It was small; only two chairs and a small rounded table with a vase of pale pink flowers.
It was empty.
I had expected to see my mum at least, but the alcove was simply empty. It looked as though no one had touched a thing. Nothing was out of place, no candy wrappers or Styrofoam drink cups half full. Nothing. The pain in my chest increased a few more notches and I placed a hand atop it in a feeble attempt to ease the discomfort. The skin beneath my hospital gown was pulsing in time with the shocks of pain and I had to fight back the tears in my eyes.
I was saved from any unnecessary sobbing by two people entering through the doorway. The healer who had pissed me off was first to enter, taking her place by my bed where she had been before. Behind her was who I assumed to be the doctor she went to fetch. He appeared to be a little older than she, with graying brown hair and matching dull eyes. He also carried a clipboard, but his was at his side, and a pen was clipped to an outer pocket of his robes.
"How are we feeling, Miss Granger?" He asked in a gentle voice.
"Confused, worried, annoyed." I aimed the last phrase at the healer, who seemed unperturbed by my attitude.
"All perfectly acceptable emotions, my dear. Now, I've been told by Healer Fowl that you are unaware of why you are here. Is this true?"
"Yes." I said in as patient of a voice I could muster.
He nodded once. "Have you ever heard of Infractus Viscus, Miss Granger?"
"No sir. I'm not very familiar with any sort of medical terms."
"Put simply, it's a big phrase for a complex, incredibly rare condition of the heart."
It was only then that I realized the hand still covering my chest was directly over my heart. The pain I had been feeling, the influx of pulsing, was all coming from my heart. I shuttered slightly and removed my hand, never taking my eyes away from the doctor.
"What's wrong with my heart?"
He let out a breath, which I took to be a very bad sign. Rare diseases always had that kind of effect. "It's broken."
"Broken? How is that even possible?"
"As I said before, Miss Granger, it's a rare disease that only occurs when a witch or wizard has experienced such a devastating event in their life that the magic in their veins act upon their emotions and split the heart in two. The early symptoms are very similar to a heart attack, and when caught at the right moment, can be cured. Unfortunately, you were alone when the splitting began and apparated directly to the hospital, worsening the condition to a very delicate phase."
"What does that mean?" I asked in a whisper.
"That there is very little hope for a recovery. Surgery is out of the question, since your heart is almost completely split in half. The only way you can hope to live is if the cause of your heartbreak is resolved. But if that does not happen within the next day, I'm afraid you will die."
I took in a large intake of breath that only caused my heart to let out a pain of protest. I felt the eyes of both the doctor and Healer Fowl on me as I absorbed this new information. I didn't want to give them the experience of seeing their patient break down, so I held back the tears and nodded.
"Can you please give me a moment?"
The doctor smiled sadly. "Of course."
The annoying healer was right on his tail.
Only when I was sure they were out of hearing distance did I release the tears. Crying, as it turns out, is a pretty powerful way of expressing emotions. Every tear that fell, every gasp of a sob that wracked my chest, added onto the pain of my heart. It got to a point where I was screaming in agony, but no one came. I closed my eyes and willed the tears to stop, but they didn't listen. When I opened them, the room around me was spinning in a spiral. Only when I held my breath did it stop.
The hospital room was now gone, but I still remained in the bed. The atmosphere around me was a blank slate of white so bright it made me want to vomit. I held back the wave of nausea and let out the breath. I was dizzy for a moment, but nothing changed. I was still in pain, and no longer in St. Mungo's. Crap. I was going to die all alone, in a godforsaken white blob with only pain and sorrow to ease me into my death. How incredibly morbid and depressing.
After a lifetime of silence, a sound echoed around the planes of white. It was short, but definitely there. I looked around for the source, but found nothing. I let the hope die down quicker than it had gone up. I was just going mad, that's all. No biggy.
But then I heard it again, and again, and again, within two seconds of the first. It was an echo of something and it was getting closer. So close that I could almost make it out. The dull clunk, clunk, clunk, soon became very familiar. It was footsteps, and they were getting closer. Soon after realizing that, a dark figure came into view in the distance. I straightened my posture as best as I could on the bed and narrowed my eyes to get a better look. Whoever it was, they were sure taking their time getting here. Geese, it wasn't like I was dying or anything, they could at least jog.
Although the entire place I was in was white, the mystery person was still covered in shadows up until the moment they reached my bed. As soon as they were within two inches of me, the veil on them was broken and drifted off as if smoke of some kind.
It was Harry.
I opened my mouth to speak, but found myself mute. He smiled down at me and I felt the pain in my chest pound harder. I flinched and let out a sound of pain. It was then that I realized that he wasn't there to make it better and save me. He was here to kill me. Because he was the reason I was here in the first place. He had broken my heart, and now he wanted to finish the job.
I leaned back in the bed as I began to see black cloud my vision. My head tilted to the side, facing him, as I gave him a hard stare. I found the will to speak, though every word was a punch to my agony. "Leave me to die."
I looked up into his eyes for what I believed to be the last time. The calm demeanor he had first arrived with was now gone as a frown replaced his features. His body melted into the ground and settled into a chair that I hadn't realized was there. He shook his head. "No."
The pain hit a climax and I let out a scream as loud as a banshee's cry. It was so strong that my voice gave out within a minute. Harry remained seated. I began to shiver and breathe heavily as I felt the darkness begin to envelop my every being. As I slipped into death, I felt myself grow cold. I couldn't feel my fingers or toes, as my senses began to leave me. And all the while, the pain remained constant. It was pure anguish, but I couldn't do anything about it. Harry had won. He broke my heart, and now I was an inch from death, just begging it to take me away from this pain. Life is never that easy.
Through the cloud of darkness, I saw Harry's hand twitch into motion and make a trail for my chest-my heart. I wanted to move, to scream for him not to, but couldn't. Death was so close, and he was making sure to make it as miserable as possible. I could do nothing but remain immobile as his hand touched my clothed chest and applied slight pressure. But instead of the burning, writhing pain I had been expecting, a rush of warmth spread into my pores and enveloped my body, starting with my numb limbs as I felt the feeling return to my fingers and toes. Next to go was the cold as it was melted into a pleasant heat, and with it my shivers faded into steady breathing. The last thing to be mended was my heart. I felt the pain ebb away quicker than I had ever thought possible, and I swear I felt my heart reattach as if being sewn with his touch.
And then there was silence. I looked up at him as I breathed for the first time without pain. He removed his hand from my chest and smiled that Harry smile that made me melt into the sheets.
He leaned down swiftly and bushed the hair away from my face. "All fixed."
I remained speechless. He pressed forward slightly to capture my lips in a kiss. As soon as they touched mine, I felt him and my surroundings disappear into nothing.
I woke up in a bed.
I was still in the same room as when I entered, but the only difference was that I was now lying atop a twin-sized bed. The book I had been reading was still open next to me, my thumb on the crease holding my spot. I removed it, not even remembering what I had been reading in the first place, and leaned up against the backboard. Looks like my intuition had been wrong. The whole time I had been in the Room of Requirement, all of my problems had been virtually erased, except in my dreams.
I didn't know what time it was, but since it was the weekend, I didn't really care. I wasn't even very hungry, which told me it was probably late morning by now. Since I never ate big breakfasts to begin with, missing one wouldn't hurt me. At least, I hoped not. They did say that breakfast was the most important meal of the day. But if you weren't hungry to begin with, did that even apply at all? Ah, the next worldwide unanswerable question.
But no matter what, nothing could take away from the fact that today was the day. Today would make or break my relationship with Harry. There was no avoiding it, no forgetting. It was going to happen. And even if I wanted to be with him no matter what, I knew that it wouldn't be right to be with someone that you couldn't trust to love you. Selfishness would get me nowhere. I had to take whatever he was going to throw at me with an unbiased mind, no matter how hard it may be. This was my life I was gambling here. But it was also his. I had no idea what he was feeling right now, and that scared me. What if he gave up? What if his best efforts weren't enough? I could lose the one person I have ever loved to the game of life. The stupid, unfair, unjust, prejudiced game of life. The same one that took away my childhood.
I wanted to win the game. I wanted Harry to win the game for us. I wanted this game to be over with before I spontaneously combusted. But most of all, I wanted to be happy as I was when Harry and I were writing with nothing but each other on our minds.
This game sucked.
I tossed my feet off the bed and tried to shake the dream from my mind. Sure, it gave me hope, but what if the hope turned out to be false? I could very well turn up in one of those beds with a broken heart. Oh Merlin, what was I thinking. It was just a freaking dream!
The pain was very real, though.
Shut up, you.
I put the book back from where I had gotten it and exited the room. I didn't turn back as I made a path to the dormitory. I reached it to see Marie smiling at me, and it really freaked me out. She didn't say a word, though, which only added to the creepy factor. I said the password and she let me inside with the same look. I put her odd behavior to the back of my mind, though, and entered the common room with a blank head. That is, until I saw something very out of place atop the table nearest to me. As I walked closer, I saw a thin velvet blue case atop a white piece of paper. I looked around the room for Harry or any other presence and found none. Biting my lip in confusion, I opened the case and felt my breath leave me in a rush. It was the crystal rose necklace.
I felt my stomach turn to putty as I turned it around in the light. It still shone with the beauty of a thousand diamonds. But as I observed it closer, I noticed a slight discoloration on one of the petals. Brining it closer to my eyes, I saw a silver engraving that read Forever in familiar cursive handwriting. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I unclasped the fastening and wound it around my neck. Looking down at it once more, I choked out something between a laugh and a sob. It was amazing work-Harry's amazing work. He had taken the time to engrave a single phrase on my necklace that I had foolishly returned to him, and I couldn't have been more ecstatic that he did. I fondled it for a moment in thought and then grinned. It was so simple, yet somehow it had gotten though to me.
He'd won the game.
I let a grin spread across my face and ran up the stairs to his room. I didn't even bother knocking. The door was unlocked and I pressed it open with a great force.
"Harry?" I called as I looked around the room.
He wasn't there.
Feeling thoroughly confused, I left his room and descended the stairs. Why would he leave when he knew I would pick up the necklace? I approached the table once more and picked up the case, looking it over for some sort of clue to where he might be. Nothing. I sighed and began to worry. It was then that I remembered seeing a white piece of paper underneath the case. I grabbed it and turned it over to see it was a photograph of us. It was taken at the ball before we had put our masks on when we were talking at one of the tables and he wanted to apologize for how that morning had turned out. Whoever had taken this picture had excellent timing, because they had captured the moment just before the bell had rung to signal the beginning of the ball. We were looking at each other as if we were the only ones in the room, leaning forward so that we were no more than an inch apart. I smiled as I remembered how much I wanted him to kiss me, even though I was there to meet Joe. How careless I had been, falling for the same guy twice.
As I observed the smaller details of the pictures, I saw Harry's neat handwriting in the bottom-right corner. In black in was the message: Follow the yellow brick road. I raised a bemused eyebrow and looked around for this supposed "yellow brick road," not expecting to find much. But to my surprise, an inch from where I was standing was a yellow glittering path that lead outside the common room. I put the picture down and began to walk atop it. There was only one way to figure out where it went, and I had a very good feeling that it would show me where Harry was hiding.
I opened up the portrait and turned back to see Marie with the same smile atop her face. "Go get him, sweetheart!"
I grinned and turned back to follow the path. The few people who were walking the halls on a Saturday were looking at me as though I was mad, walking on top of a glittery strip. But I didn't care. In fact, I began to quicken my pace until I was at a full out sprint. The path lead outside, but I didn't let the frigid winter weather get a hold of me, even if I was still in my school uniform. I continued to run along the path and stopped when it lead me to the hill that sloped to the black lake. My breath was coming out in short puffs that were clearly visible in the frigid air. They quickened as soon as I saw Harry, clad in his winter dressings, standing with his back to me next to one of the only trees close to the lake. It didn't take me too long to sprint the entire way to him through the snow.
"Harry!" I called.
He turned around just in time for me to tackle him to the ground.
"Hermione." He said with a grin just as wide as mine. It faltered soon after, though, as he looked me over as best as he could with me on top of him. "Why are you still wearing your school uniform? It's freezing!"
I kept smiling. "Just shut up and kiss me."
And he did. He kissed me very tenderly on the lips, only just moving them. I breathed out through my nose in bliss. He rolled us over so that he was pressing me into the snow and licked the seam of my lips with his tongue. I accepted him in as I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, holding him to me for dear life. I was only vaguely aware of the snow against my nearly bare legs. But it didn't bother me one bit. All that mattered was me and Harry. His hands found a place near my head to keep his balance. For a few minutes, all we did was kiss each other, making up for the lost time that we (and by we, I mostly mean me) threw to the wind.
At one point when Harry and I took a pause for breath, he began to press light kissed to my cheeks, causing them to heat up to the point that I forgot we were even outside at all. He soon kissed every visible part of my head and then moved to my neck and ears. He sucked on my right earlobe only just and I moaned deep in my throat, arching up into him. He smiled and placed a tender kiss just below my ear and mumbled, "I love you so much."
"Mmm, I love you, too. I was an idiot not to listen to you the first time you said `I'm sorry.'"
"Yes, you were."
"Hey!" I exclaimed, shoving his shoulders so he toppled over to the ground beside me.
He began laughing. "I was just kidding."
I scrunched up my nose, but soon gave in and began laughing along with him. After we got what I believed to be all of the laughter within out systems out, we turned towards each other, leaning on our elbows.
"So did I prove myself?"
I smiled. "Harry you did much more than that. You showed me that I can never ever live without you."
"Well, I do try." I said cheekily.
I chuckled. "How did you pull it all off, anyway?"
He tapped my nose with his gloved hand. "That, my dear, is a secret you will never know."
I pouted. "Why not?"
"I'll lose my mysterious persona I've worked so hard to achieve, that's why not."
I rolled my eyes. "I think you lost that at the ball, Harry."
"Well then I'd better start back up again. I have to keep you interested somehow."
I tilted my head, readjusting it atop my palm. "I could never lose interest in you."
"Cheeky."
We both laughed and I let the first shiver pass through me from being outside in the cold. Harry gave me a concerned look and sat up. "Come on," he said. "We have to get you back inside before you catch a cold."
"But-" I protested, sitting up to face him.
"But nothing, I don't want you to get sick because I had the brilliant idea of leading you down by the lake. Now come on."
He stood up and offered me a hand. I took it and another shiver passed through me. Seeing this, Harry shrugged off his coat and placed it around my shoulders. I shrugged my hands through the sleeves and crossed my arms, letting myself be enveloped by the large coat. He placed a hand behind my back and led the way back into the castle, where our future together awaited.
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