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My Confusing (and Hard to Believe) Love Life by the_real_mrs_potter
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My Confusing (and Hard to Believe) Love Life

the_real_mrs_potter

A/N: Thanksgiving break=more time to write. But, unfortunately, next weekend for me is so ridiculously jam-packed that I don't know if I'll get a chapter up in time. I'll try my best to write a lot this upcoming week, AKA the start of my second trimester with math making a guest appearance on my schedule-whoopee. Hopefully I'll update by Friday morning or Sunday night. There is no in-between, I'm afraid. Oh, and for the Hogwarts letter I put in here, I wasn't sure exactly what time they were sent out. So if I did it too late in the year, we'll just day that Dumbledore "knew" she had most of her supplies already, hehe.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine, it's JKR's. Unlike her stories, mine actually has a believable romance element. I hope.

Enjoy!

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Paranoid or Realistic?

"You know that smile is getting to be sickening."

I turned around and stuck my tongue out at my smirking boss. She brushed it off and went to the nearby cupboard to take out our treat bowl for Hedwig. Yeah, you heard me right. Joe Bloggs and I had Hedwig traveling so much these past few months that Sue found it absolutely necessary to purchase a porcelain jar with the custom embroidery Hedwig's Grub filled to the brim with owl treats. She has a wonderful sense of humor, that woman. All I have been hearing this summer is how my happiness is making her wish she had picked a different husband. She was kidding, of course. I picked up on these things when I spend the majority of my summer with her. Not that I minded much; she and Joe were all I needed, really.

I really wish this summer won't end, but with school honing in, it was inevitable. It wasn't like me to not look forward to school-it was the exact opposite. But this summer had been the best time of my life. No, I hadn't traveled to Ireland to see the extensive green plains, or discovered the cure to the Wizard's Flu; I had met (for lack of a better word) the most incredible person I had ever been in contact with. He was smart, funny, charming, and an all around good person. You didn't find too many of those nowadays. Instead of chemistry being based off of compatibility, it was now associated with a "hot" body and how good they were in the sack. Pathetic, really. Dumbledore and the other professor's had the right idea when they thought of this pen-pal system. You could sort out the shallow from the deep. I like to think of myself as a deep person when it comes to literature and… well that's basically it. But Joe, he thinks that I'm so much more than that. He sees me without actually seeing me, if that makes any sense? Well, it does to me and comes as a welcome relief from the other people I have to deal with at school and, on a rare occasion, out of school. I think you can sort out what fits into that second category without me telling you.

The point is that I have a friend. A friend, who is my age, goes to my school, and likes me for me. We talk about books, school, home life (excluding the specifics to keep up the anonymous aspect, obviously), friends or lack thereof, music-well just about anything, really. The only problem is that I don't have a clue as to who he is. I know that it's the one factor that is keeping this thing going but there is a part of me that wants to see him just once. He could turn out to be an asshole, which I highly doubt, or a Slytherin, but at least I would be able to put a face to the words I have been reading from him. But I make it a point not to think on it too much because I know that I will figure out who it is if I put my head into it. Even though the urge to know who he is is killing me, I have to be strong in order keep this fantasy a reality. I don't want to ruin what we have. At school it will be even harder to resist the natural curiosity that has now peaked. That's probably another reason I don't want to go back. My whole schedule will be booked with studying and coursework to the point where Joe won't become top priority anymore. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, honestly. If I were to somehow get a hold of my old timeturner and travel back few months to tell myself that I would be thinking about a guy more than homework, I would slap myself silly and give myself a urine test to check for any drugs. But now, I don't know.

It was exactly a week before term started and both Joe and I knew that our letters were going to become less frequent. Maybe two a day, if that. Right now we had 915 letters exchanged and that would most likely decrease significantly the nine months we were within Hogwarts walls. What? Of course I've been keeping count! Like I said, these letters were my top priority during this summer. Besides, when you file them away like I do, you need to make sure each and every one is accounted for. Just in case. I know my parents would never snoop in my room, but there was always the slim chance. I didn't have anything to hide within them, obviously. It wasn't as if we were exchanging kinks or something like that. Disgusting. Like I said before, we talked about normal stuff. I like normal, and I'm sure he does too since he hasn't brought up topics along those lines as of now. You would think that any warm-blooded male would do so, but not Joe Bloggs. Nope. Joe was a gentleman and stuck to other topics. It's not like I wouldn't mind talking to someone about those things-and the fact that he is male and has no idea who I am and vice versa definitely helps-but it's not something that is ever present in my life. When the time comes we might.

I sighed and folded up the latest letter I had finished writing. Hedwig was waiting patiently on one of the top shelves, munching on the treat that Sue had fetched her. When Sue first met Hedwig, she was a little apprehensive to have an owl in her shop. But after proving herself, Hedwig earned a place and a jar filled with owl treats. It wasn't very hard to find Sue's soft spot, after all. That woman would let a dragon live in the basement if it rubbed her the right way.

"Here you go, girl." I said, lifting the letter to her leg and tying it gingerly to her leg. "Have a nice flight."

She hooted and nipped my finger before taking off through the back. Sue waved meekly at the graceful bird and turned back to me. "So are you excited for your seventh year?"

I shrugged. "I dunno, I guess."

She gave me one of her looks and I rolled my eyes. "Hermione Granger not excited for school? What has the world come to?"

"Oh shut up." I said quietly. "It's not that I'm not excited. But things are going to be different this year and I don't know if I'm going to like it. This summer has been amazing and I just don't want it to end."

"Would Joe Bloggs have anything to do with this?" She asked suggestively.

"Of course." I said bluntly. There was no use in denying it. "What if school starts and we lose touch? What if he finds out who I am and doesn't want to speak to me anymore? What if-"

"What if, what if, what if," She mocked. "Hermione, it's going to be fine. So what if he finds out who you are? It's his loss if he doesn't want to talk to you anymore." I glared at her. "Not-not that he won't love you. I mean, you're amazing and probably the most tolerable teenager I've come into contact with in a long time."

"Oh gee, thanks." I said in a drawl. "I'm tolerable. That's fantastic, Sue, really."

"Oh you know what I mean." She said, waving a hand around dismissively. Walking the short distance between us, she placed a hand on my shoulder and spoke in a gentle tone, "Hermione you are an amazing girl. You and Joe both know that the time will eventually come when you'll have to reveal yourselves. From what you've told me, he's a pretty amazing guy who I know will accept you exactly the way you are. You don't have to worry about that. Live in the now and when the time comes, just be yourself."

I sniffed, "Gods, Sue. You didn't have to get all sensitive on me."

She smiled warmly at me and gave me a quick hug. "It'll be fine, you'll see. And remember, if you need anything, just owl me and I'll be right there with you. Figuratively speaking, of course."

"Of course."

The sound of claws scraping against wood broke the short silence.

"Christ that boy is fast!" Sue said loudly.

I laughed and turned to let in what I thought to be Hedwig. But when I opened the door, a small brown barn owl entered the shop. It flew to perch on the front desk and stuck its leg out swiftly. Yeah, this is definitely not Hedwig.

"Should I get Hedwig another treat?" Sue called from where she disappeared in the back.

"It's not Hedwig." I answered back. "It's my Hogwarts letter."

"Well does your Hogwarts letter bird want a treat?"

I looked at the petit owl and nodded to myself. "Yeah, sure."

I heard Sue move a few things as she made her way back up front. Looking back at the owl, I took the envelope and moved my fingers around its perimeter out of reflex. I felt a small bump and grinned, tearing open the letter and flipping it upside down to reveal a shiny pin. It was in the shape of a single crest, each house taking up one squared-off corner. Head Girl was embroidered in shiny silver lettering along the bottom on top of a gold ribbon-like frame. It was absolutely beautiful. I had only gotten a glimpse of Percy Weasley's during my second year. Holding it in my hand felt almost surreal. I had been working for this my whole six years at Hogwarts and the moment has finally come where all of the work pays off. Wow.

"Oh my God, Hermione, you got it?!"

I turned to Sue with a wide grin and nodded. She squealed and gave me a huge hug.

"Here, hold onto it for me." I handed her the badge and went to opening my letter.

"Ohhh it's so shiny!"

I chuckled and pulled out the parchment. Unfolding it carefully, I began to read the elegant emerald script.

Dear Miss Granger,

We are very pleased to award you with the Head Girl position of your graduating class. This is a coveted honor and we think that you will do a fine job at carrying out the duties that come with the title. Among these include

-Scheduling and running all Prefects meetings with the chosen Head Boy
-Assigning patrol shifts for yourself and the Head Boy as well as those of the prefects
-Planning the trips to Ho
gsmeade with the chosen Head Boy
-Awarding as well as taking away house points

On the train ride to Hogwarts, you are to run the Prefect meeting with the chosen Head Boy to inform the younger students of their responsibilities. You are required to attend a meeting in my office after the Welcome Feast for debriefing along with the chosen Head Boy. Your bedtime hours have been extended to unlimited in order to fit in any impromptu patrols, emergencies, etc cetera. If you should choose to abuse this power or any of the others listed above or covered at the meeting in my office, necessary precautions will be taken such as, but not limited to: Suspension of your title, detention, expulsion. You are to wear your badge during school hours unless instructed otherwise by myself, any of the other professors or Headmaster.

You will find enclosed, a list of necessary books and equipment required for your year. If you have trouble acquiring any of these items, please inform either myself or the professor in charge of the class and the needed measures will be taken care of.

Yours Sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress

Well that was certainly longer than my other letters. I knew the Heads had a lot of responsibilities and rules but wow. I really hope this year's Head Boy is willing to abide by the rules as much as I am. I have full confidence in Professor McGonagall and the others to choose a fine candidate.

I set the letter down and focused on the tinier piece of parchment that contained my shopping list for this year. It looked the same as any year with the books altering years and genres to fit my new classes. I had already picked up most of the books I needed, predicting what most of the reading material would be. The only things I was missing were a new set of robes and few extra books for Advanced Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts. I wonder who our teacher will be this year. There was only one Defense Against the Dark Arts professor I had a keen interest in, and that was Professor Lupin. I figured out halfway through my third year that he was a lycanthrope and because someone wasn't so secretive with the poor man's condition, he was sacked. I really do miss him.

I looked back at the owl and saw that it was chewing on the treat that Sue had gotten for it. The owl looked very beaten up and ruffled. This must not have been his first stop of the day. It's a good thing that I told Sue to feed him something or I'm afraid he may have fainted. Looks like I'm developing a soft spot when it comes to owls. Come to think of it, I felt kind of guilty-I had been basically ignoring Crookshanks when Hedwig was around. My poor kitten!

"Hey Sue?"

"Yeah?" She answered from behind one of the shelves filled with ink refills.

"Can I step out for a few to get something for Crookshanks?"

"Sure sweetie, but be back soon. You getting your Hogwarts letter means that there are going to be about ten dozen kids in here within the span of an hour. Oh and could you pick up some more owl treats as well? I'm afraid we're running short."

I laughed knowingly, "Alright. I'll be back in a jiff."

I stepped out into the slightly crowded streets and made a break for Magical Menagerie down the street. This was the store where I had bought Crookshanks just three summers ago with the leftover birthday money my parents had gotten me from years past. They not only sold pets, but specific treats for specific animals so that the customers would always come back. I use to come her religiously last summer, doting Crookshanks with treats galore. But now that I had Hedwig to take care of as well with a jar full of treats, I didn't think twice about going back to Magical Menagerie and getting Crookshanks something as well.

I opened the familiar wooden door and heard the bells chime to announce another customer. The shop was tightly packed, as usual, and I could scarcely see the walls around me. Luckily, my familiarity with the store proves to be useful as I navigate my way towards the front counter. The familiar witch was manning the counter accordingly and gazing around at her heavily packed store fondly. She still wore the same heavy black spectacles as when I first met her, but some other things had changed. For one, I now knew her name to be Miss Lynch. She was widowed a few years before I met her and had a very positive outlook on life, much like Sue. She had always found me a pleasurable customer, or so she claims. Maybe it was just a ploy to get me to buy more stuff for Crookshanks?

"Hello Miss. Lynch." I said brightly as I arrived at the counter.

"Why if it isn't little Hermione Granger. I haven't seen you since last summer. How've you been?"

"Busy." I lied. I didn't want her to think I had been neglecting Crookshanks or anything. Which I hadn't been! I've just been occupied with other things-busy. Hey, looks like I wasn't lying after all.

"Ahh with your seventh year coming up, you should be." I nodded and she gave me a knowing smile. "You need some more of my cat treats?"

"Yes please."

"Hold on…" She disappeared beneath the counter and I could hear the sound of drawers being opened and closed as she searched for my purchase. "Here we are."

She emerged with a small bag of mouse-shaped treats that Crookshanks loved so much. When you placed one on the floor, it scattered about like an actual mouse for him to chase after. Crookshanks had always loved chasing mice at Hogwarts, but since my parents keep such a clean house, he never had any to chase over summer.

"That'll be five sickles."

I dug in my pocket and handed her the appropriate amount of currency. "Thank you, Miss Lynch."

"No problem, Hermione. Come back soon, you hear?"

I smiled and nodded as I made my way out of the crowded shop. She should really think of expanding or something. That tiny shop can only hold so many customers.

I made my way back towards the stationary shop briskly and arrived in front of Eeylops Owl Emporium, which was conveniently located right across from it. I entered the dimly lit shop and saw that it wasn't nearly as crowded as Magical Menagerie. There were a few customers scattered about and I was thankful that I could actually see around so I could find the treats I was looking for. I had never been here before, seeing as how Sue had bought the treats in the jar and whenever Hedwig chose to arrive at my house, I served her raw carrots. There were caged owls everywhere, waiting to be purchased. I saw a few snowy owls similar to Hedwig in the far corner and smiled fondly. Shelves aligned the walls and formed small walkways every which way. One had the label Treats for that special Owl in your life. It made me giggle, so I decided to give it a go. The shelf was full of treats in every edible flavor I could think of an owl liking-lemon, fresh snow, corn, pumpkin, caramel cluster, and even one made by the same company as Bertie Bott's that claimed to be an owl-friendly substitute to the delectable bean. That didn't sound very appealing so I decided on the fresh snow and pumpkin flavors and went about to find the front counter, hoping that Hedwig would like them.

I found it soon enough and was about to get in line before someone stepped in front of me with a large bag of owl nuts. I stiffened as I recognized the ebony locks and stepped back to the shelter of one of the nearby shelves. The cashier greeted him with a smile and ran up his purchase. I didn't bother listening to their voices. What important things could they possibly be talking about? Besides, there were other customers here so this wouldn't take too long. I hope. I know Potter has a tendency of talking a lot but hopefully even his big head can realize that there are other people here.

Within two minutes, Potter exited. Crisis averted. Last time we met outside of school, things got ugly, as you can probably recall. I delicately removed myself from my not-so-secret hiding place and arrived at the counter. The cashier greeted me with the same smile he had given Potter, except it seemed a bit more forced. Of course it did. He just rang up the great Harry Potter. Anyone pales in comparison to that.

He handed me my bag and I thanked him politely. Stupid favoritism. I think he handed Potter his bag a little more gently than that. I swear I felt a bit of hostility behind it. Stupid Potter. He always gets special treatment. I shouldn't have hidden behind that shelf. I should have walked up to him and slapped him. Why? Well, he's Harry Potter. I might get arrested for it, but hey, at least I would count myself as brave.

Quit your dreaming, Granger. My mind argued, You've already proved yourself to be a coward.

I sighed. I was right-well the voice in my head was right. I wasn't brave. I was and always would be a scared 12-year-old hiding behind a porcelain sink. Nothing was going to change that.

I entered the shop to see Sue dusting. I placed my purchases on the counter and Sue looked at me with a concerned expression. "Why so glum?"

"It's nothing, don't worry about it."

She could sense that I didn't want to talk about it. "Alright, whatever you say. What kind of treats did you pick up for Hedwig and Crookshanks?"

"Mice treats for Crookshanks and… I didn't know what flavor of treats I should get for Hedwig so I just picked out pumpkin and fresh snow."

"That's fine. I got her pumpkin last time, too."

I nodded, glad I hadn't completely mucked that up. I put the owl treats in the cupboard next to the jar and put Crookshanks' treat next to my coat. The bell to signify customers rang and me and Sue froze. This was the beginning-the first back-to-school customer. You could say that we smelt it. Sue rushed over to my side and plastered on a faux grin.

"They're here…" I said softly.

"Brace yourself, kid." She said in an equally quite tone. "It's going to be a long day."

~*~

And it was. It was the longest work day of the summer and when I got home, all I wanted to do was curl up on the sofa and take a nice, long nap.

I kicked my trainers off and set to find Crookshanks the moment I entered the door. I found him in my room, lying lazily atop my comforter. He looked so peaceful that I didn't have the heart to wake him. But, like me, he is a light sleeper and was awake the moment I opened the door, choosing to reveal his true state of consciousness a few moments after I entered. He stretched with his bottom up in the air and padded to the edge of the bed, tilting his head as if asking what I wanted. Oh the joys of having a half-Kneazle. You never had to dance around the subject. If only people were like that.

I pulled out the bad of mice treats and could see his squashed face light up in excitement. I laughed and opened the bag to dangle one in front of his face. "See? I haven't forgotten about you."

I tossed the treat onto the floor and watched as it scattered along the carpet of my room and into the hallway. Crookshanks was immediately on its tail and I watched on fondly. He may be intelligent, but Crookshanks is also one who knows how to have a good time, not ignoring his cat instincts whenever something smaller than him that squeaks is gallivanting about.

I took off my jacket and tossed it into my hamper. I saw my Hogwarts letter sticking up and snatched it before I could think otherwise. I didn't want my badge and letter to be thrown around in the washer. Well, the badge at the very least. I decided to put my badge on my desk and post the letter on the fridge. My parents had told me they would be away until well after midnight and not to wait up for them. I wouldn't dream of staying up that late and wanted them to know as soon as possible that I had made Head Girl. The only way to get that across to them was to post the letter on the fridge. No matter what time they got home, my dad always went for the fridge for a snack. He would see the letter, tell my mum, and in the morning, there would be a huge pancake, sausage, eggs, and hash brown breakfast waiting for me.

I ran downstairs and attached the letter to the fridge with a content smile. I looked over at the calendar close by it and my smile faded slightly. September 1 was only a few days away. My work days would be up a day before so I could make the final arrangements and then poof, I'm done. I really hope all of my pessimistic ideas aren't true and that Sue's little "prediction" was the actual outcome.

Oh, who am I kidding? It's Hogwarts. Pubescent teens, coursework, Head duties, they were all going to be major contributing factors to the ultimate reveal. Let's hope that this year will be uneventful. After all, with Voldermort gone, what could possibly go wrong?

Don't answer that.

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