A/N: What did I tell you? It's actually up on time. Oh, the loveliness of having a free weekend. You guys have pretty much been my inspiration. And, because that can only run so far, I must digress that this story will soon be at an end. Maybe around five more chapters, I'm guessing :[ But with ends comes new beginnings. I have a load of new ideas for stories and have them all posted on my website: http://www.addictedxdreamer.webs.com, for you to browse. There's a poll on there and everything! How fancy am I?? Please go and check out the options between now and whenever I choose to close the poll, it'll be a real help. For those who read In Too Deep, this method is how some of you chose this fic right here to be my new project, and look how that turned out!
Shout out to my beta, Vincent! I lurve you :D
Disclaimer: Not mine, JKR's. Duh
Enjoy!
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Oh, Merlin
I don't really know what woke me up. Maybe it was the sudden breeze I felt against my cheek, or that annoying pull toward consciousness that likes to wake you up after you've gotten your proper amount of sleep. There's no way to know, really, because there are a billion reasons, and at this point in time I don't really feel like counting them. When you first wake up, you aren't in a right state of mind. The world around you is a hazy blur and you can't register more than one thing at a time. Right now, it was how unusually comfortable I was. On a normal morning, I would wake up in some odd position spread out on my bed, but today I was curled up to a warm…warm… well, I can't really place what. The closest thing I could relate it to is a teddy bear. But I know for a fact that if I had brought my ancient stuffed animal, Copernicus, to Hogwarts, I would know if it was him. He had tears and bunched up fur and just felt old. This… this didn't feel old at all. It was warm and soft and felt downright lovely against my skin. Whatever it was, I was pressed full up against it and entangled in its depths like a hummingbird in its favorite flower. Furthermore, I had no intent of moving.
I smiled at the new feeling of comfort and snuggled against it more fully. The more I remained awake, the more possibilities of what it could be flowed into my mind, the most reasonable being an overly large pillow. It certainly felt like one. I didn't really want to think much on it, but as my senses began to fully adjust to the environment, I couldn't help it. Even thought my eyes were still closed, I felt the room around me change in atmosphere. The only thing that remained constant, in fact, was my pillow. But wait, since when did pillows move?
I opened my eyes a pinch and saw a patch of tanned something underneath my head. The texture sure didn't look like a pillow. In fact, it looked almost like skin. But no, that couldn't be right. Last night I only… really don't remember what happened. Oh, Merlin, what did I do? I twisted to try and get a better look around and hopefully prove that I wasn't in some random stranger's bedroom, but a pressure on my back prevented me from moving more than a few inches. An arm.
Oh. My. God.
I went rigid and shifted my head. It was resting on a chest which was still emitting heavy breathes that told me that whoever my partner in bed was, they were still asleep. I bit my lip to keep from making any noises of surprise. I moved my head a few inches more to rest my chin atop his chest and blinked a few times to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Nope. This was most definitely real. And real situations called for real reactions.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
My ear-piercing scream was enough make my ears buzz and wake up the peacefully sleeping Harry Potter. That's right. Him. It was so much, actually, that he literally leapt three inches into the air and tumbled to the ground near the bed. It was an amusing sight, but now was not the time to laugh. He took half of the blankets with him and I had to find a sheet to cover myself up, because I was naked. And not that naked that people tell you they wake up in, with their underwear still on and clothes hidden underneath the covers. I was literally in my birthday suit. And that could only mean one thing. I pushed that disturbing thought out of my head for a moment as I leant over the edge and caught a nice view of Harry's naked arse as he remained on the floor.
"Erm, are you okay?" I asked tentatively.
"Oh yeah," He said dryly, his voice muffled by the sheets on the floor. "This is how I wake up every morning, actually. I'm used to it by now."
I rolled my eyes and watched him get up, turning my head away when I saw him begin to tie the bundle of sheets around his, erm, private area. I felt a hot blush well up in my cheeks and put my cool hands over them to make it go away quickly before he saw me.
"Can I come back on the bed now, it's chilly down here and me and my… ahh… friend don't do so well in the cold, if you catch my drift."
"Sure." I said quietly, scooting over to the other side of the bed.
I felt his weight shift on the mattress and kept my gaze straightforward, clutching the sheet around my chest for dear life. The last thing I needed now was to lose my focus. So, instead of initiating the awkward conversation that was bound to commence, I continued to stare at the wall opposite the bed. In avoiding the obvious, I realized I wasn't even in my room. I was in Harry's. I should have realized right away, but I had been too tired to think straight. His room was similar to mine in a lot of ways. It had the same regal design, a fireplace, a bookshelf, and a window offering a fantastic view of the castle grounds and forbidden forest. But in other ways, it was very different. Instead of the warm, fall colors of my room, it was instead filled with the hot colors of summer, red and orange, mostly. His bed was similar to mine, save for the canopy. The carvings were slightly different, but I would expect nothing less. The sheets were a shade of brilliant scarlet and made of fine silk. The wallpaper was a burned crème and had a tapestry of a creature resembling a hippogriff.
I couldn't see much more, since I vowed not to move too much. I had a lot of self control when the situation called for it. Other times, though, I could be as impatient and awkward as the pubescent teenager stereotype went. Seeing as I was in a very odd position, I couldn't really keep a hold of my confidant demeanor. If I was in a familiar situation, I could hold my ground easily and as unwavering as a brick wall. But now that I was treading on unknown territory, it was a whole other story. I shifted a bit and peaked under the covers briefly. There, as plain as the day itself, was the only evidence I needed to confirm it. Dried blood stained some parts of the covers. I inhaled a large amount of breath and suddenly became aware of my surroundings and, more importantly, myself. There was a dull throbbing in between my legs, an odd stench that couldn't be described floating in the air, and my pheromones were going nuts. All signs I could have picked out earlier, but instead chose to scream and make the situation even more awkward than it needed it be.
Not bothering to look at him, I spoke aloud what needed to be spoken. "We had sex last night, didn't we?"
Harry hesitated a moment, simply stated, "Yup," and nodded once.
I felt a shiver run down my spine. It sounded even worse when he confirmed it. I felt dirty, impure, and all around wrong. What had happened last night that made me think this was okay? I must have been under some sort of powerful influence to even consent to an act this improper. And with Harry of all people! Oh Merlin, what on Earth have I done. I closed my eyes, trying to remember at least a part of last night; a clue, perhaps, to tell me how I had forgotten in the first place. All that came to me were fuzzy images. I groaned and turned to Harry. He looked as uncomfortable as I felt.
"Do you remember how it happened?" I asked. Maybe he had a better memory than I did.
"Not much more than you do."
"Well, I don't remember a thing."
He turned to me, eyes shining with that mysterious emotion that I could never place on him. "Really?"
I nodded, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "If I did, then I wouldn't be asking you."
He looked down at the sheets for a moment. It seemed as if he was concentrating hard on something, thinking on the ramifications of my affirmation. But whatever it was about, it must have been inconclusive, for he just sighed and craned his head back to me. "I remember small things."
"It's better than nothing."
He nodded briefly. "I remember the party, and drinking a lot of firewhisky and butterbeer."
I concentrated for a moment. I remembered the party as well. That was a start. I went there to let off some steam after all other methods had turned up null. There were drinks, but not many. I took three shots of firewhisky back-to-back and didn't feel anything besides a burning throat; and then nothing.
"I was dancing," He continued, "With a few friends, trying to have a good time."
"Trying?" I asked.
"Yeah, didn't turn out so hot. I thought that if I checked out Colin's party, I would have some fun for the first time in a week or so."
"Me too," I said, listening intently for anything that would trigger a memory.
He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
I bit my lip and nodded. "I needed to let off some steam. I was getting sick and tired of locking myself in my room and not feeling anything different."
"And going to a house party would help it all go away."
"Yeah." I paused for a moment, trying to fill in any other missing pieces. "Do you remember anything else?"
He shook his head. "More dancing and-" He cut off suddenly, looking at me with narrowed eyes. I stared right back, wondering why he was looking at me that way.
"Why are you-?"
"You kissed me."
"What?" I asked, slightly appalled at this accusation. "I did no such thing!"
He pointed a finger at me. "Yes, you did! We were dancing together and you kissed me!"
"I don't dance." I said immediately.
"You did last night."
I scoffed. "That's ridiculous."
"Is it?"
I opened my mouth to retort, but my memories chose that moment to rudely confirm his story. It hit me with a force so great I had to put an arm behind me to keep my balance. I had kissed him. After the drinks and trying to leave, the buzz hit me and I wandered to the dance floor. There, Harry and I had found each other and danced, if it could even be considered that. I think it more resembled some sort of ancient mating ritual. When I found out it was him I-oh Merlin. I used him. I used him to fill the hole of want in my chest. I used him to replace Joe. I felt tears well up behind my eyes. It seemed so unreal. I would never, ever, do that if I was in a right state of mind. But I hadn't been. I was under the influence of alcohol and not that much, either. Looks like I wasn't much of a drinker. Not really a surprise, but it was still a fair bit of shock.
Skin, sweat, heat, kisses, movement, grinding, touching, caresses.
It was all a mistake. I shouldn't have used him. I took advantage of his feelings for me and tried to fill the gap. And that wasn't even the worst part; it worked. Now that I had full play-by-play recollection of what happened, I realized that not once did Joe cross my mind. Harry had succeeded just like I thought he would. It didn't feel as good as I had previously thought. In fact, it felt downright disgusting.
I felt a wave of nausea and sprinted to the bathroom, making sure to keep a tight grip on the sheet. I heard a thump behind me and realized a little too late that half of the sheet was still connected to the bed and henceforth, would cause any occupants to fall to the ground as the sheet was torn off. Oops.
I reached the bathroom just in time. I bent down and dumped the contents of my stomach into the porcelain toilet. God, I hated puking. It pretty much matched how I was feeling. In pain, yes, but also gross. Thankfully, I hadn't eaten much and I stopped after a few heaves. I backed up against the wall and let out a breath. There really isn't any other feeling like the one you experience after vomiting. As funny as it sounds, you know it's true. You become unaware of your surroundings, since you are so disoriented by the feeling of blood pounding through your head. I hadn't even heard Harry pad into the room. I wasn't surprised to see him, though. He had taken the time to find a pair of boxers to slide into. I was too high to even look at his rippling pectorals this time. Mother would be proud.
"Is the thought of sleeping with me really that repulsive?"
I twisted my head to look at him and said bluntly, "Yes."
"You certainly know how to bring down a guy's ego."
"I try."
He sat down next to me and I didn't shy away as I so wanted to. No matter how badly I felt, I still needed to accept it. I didn't want to, but it really wasn't up to me. I couldn't hide forever.
"I'm sorry." I said softly.
He gave me a confused glance. "Why?"
"I took advantage of you."
"It takes two to tango, Hermione. I was just as much a part of it as you were."
I shook my head. "No, you don't get it. I used you. I took advantage of your feelings for me in the worst way."
There was a small pause. "And what way would that be?"
I let out a bitter laugh. I don't even know how a gesture like that could even break through at a moment like this, but voila. "I wanted to forget about him. I wanted to feel wanted for once in my life without repercussions. You are probably the only guy out there that would have me."
"Are you saying that Joe did something to you?"
"Something like that."
"Dare I ask what?"
I smiled sadly, leaning my head more firmly against the wall. "I got what I wished for. He let me in. But in this case, I would give anything to take it back."
"Was he too forward, or…?"
"No." I said firmly. "He was crystal clear. He told me he was in love."
"Well isn't that a good thing?"
"I guess. I want him to be happy, but there's a selfish part of me that keeps telling me that I don't."
A look of comprehension shone on his face. "You don't think it's you."
"No. I know it's not me."
"And what makes you think that?" His voice was tense, a fact that I didn't overlook.
"The way he said it."
He closed his eyes for a moment and then suddenly began to bang his head into the wall. I looked at him oddly for a moment, not really knowing why he was causing harm to his head. Not that he could really lose any more brain cells. I let him continue for about a minute before I spoke up.
"Are you alright?" I asked.
He didn't stop. In fact, I think he doubled his efforts.
No, scratch that. He definitely doubled his efforts. I could hear the impact a lot clearer than I had been able to originally. I put a hand on his shoulder and he jerked, looking at me. There was a red spot on his forehead.
"Are you alright?" I repeated firmly.
He bowed his head and began to rock it back and forth in a gesture I interpreted as a "No." He remained silent for a moment before mumbling something. He repeated it a few more times and I only just caught it on the last repetition.
"I'm an idiot."
I furrowed my brow. "How are you an idiot? You didn't do anything wrong."
He continued to rock his head as he spoke in a moot tone. "I did everything wrong."
"No, you didn't. It was my f-"
"Hermione, you don't get it!" He shouted, snapping his head to meet my eyes.
I was taken aback at his change of demeanor. He went from melancholy to enraged in the span of a few seconds. I think anyone would be a little shaken.
"I messed up. I tried so hard make things alright, and all I've done is made them worse. Shows what I know about strategy."
"What are you talking about?" I asked slowly.
He looked at me and I could almost tell what his eyes showed me but he pulled away at the last second. "Don't worry about it."
My anger began to well up. "Don't tell me not to worry about it! Just saying that means I'm going to worry about it more than if you hadn't!"
"That's not my problem."
"Yes, as a matter of fact, it is!"
He pushed himself off the wall and stood up, walking towards the door. I growled and followed him. I felt a little head rush as I'd moved too quickly, but didn't care. I caught up to him and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around to face me. His eyes were now streaked with tears and my heart softened. He saw my change and wiped his eyes. I caught his hand in midair and whispered, "Harry, please."
He shook his head and took his hand out of my grip.
I continued to bear my eyes on him. "None of this is your fault."
"Not in your eyes." He said solemnly. He met my eyes and I shivered from the intensity. I watched him drift closer to me, our eyes never breaking contact. I never realized how much taller than me he was. It was safely a good four or five inches to be precise, but who's counting. I tilted my head up to keep his gaze connected with mine, and suddenly, he stopped. We were a half of an inch apart. I felt his breath on me and tried my best not to move. His hand lifted to make contact with my cheek in a light caress. I thought he was going to kiss me up until the moment he removed his hand away.
Pity, I would have let him too.
His eyes drifted down my body and he bit his lip nervously. "You dropped your sheet."
My stomach collapsed to my feet as my eyes flew downwards and saw that he was right. I let out a squeak and raised my arms up to cover most of my private parts. He seemed somewhat amused by my attempts to hide myself. I think I would be, too, if our parts were reversed. After all, we had seen each other naked before. Not that either of us could fully remember.
"I'll see you at the ball, Hermione."
And with that, he left.
"Wait!"
He ignored me.
I huffed out an irritated breath. Knowing he was no longer there, I removed my hands and went back to the bathroom to fetch the sheets. I found them bunched around the pointed corner near the door. Rolling my eyes, I tied them around me once more just in case. It was only when I shut the door to my room that I let Harry's last words sink in.
The ball!
A Masquerade Under the Stars was tonight, how on Earth could I have forgotten?! I hadn't even bought a dress or shoes or-hang on.
I went over to my closet and opened the double doors. There, gathering only a pinch of dust, was the box that contained my dream dress. Looks like my backup had just become my formal attire. How ironic. I pulled out the box and set it on my bed, kicking the doors shut behind me. Opening it up, I saw that it was just as beautiful as the last time I saw it. I smiled fondly and closed the box. Looking over at the clock, I saw that it already eleven in the morning. Remembering I had a meeting with the rest of the prefects who were helping, I rushed out of the room.
There were only a few people in attendance when I showed up, the rest filing in soon after. Harry was late as usual and I had to avoid his gaze for risk of becoming too obvious. From what I've read, it's very apparent when two people sleep together if you don't have the experience to hide it. And as I've explained before, I don't. The last thing I needed right now was to have my face read "HARRY AND I SLEPT TOGETHER LAST NIGHT!" in red ink.
It was a brief meeting, thankfully. I went over a few rules, reminded everyone of their duties, and repeated that the ball would end at midnight sharp, at which point the charm on the masks would fade and everyone's identity would be revealed. It was quite a fascinating charm, too. It didn't really hide the person's identity, it made said identity irrelevant. I dismissed the meeting ten minutes after it begun and was relieved that Harry chose not to stay after.
I sat on the desk behind me and rubbed my temples, just wanting all of my stress to go away. Life was never that simple.
I heard a faint knock on the door frame and saw Professor McGonagall come in with a box of the masks she had demanded to be in charge of. She walked up and set the box down on the desk in front of mine. She opened the box with a quick wave of her wand and I looked eagerly inside.
"They're beautiful." I said breathily.
"I think so, too. The woman who makes them takes fine care in detail."
"Yes, I can see that."
A glitter of gold caught my eye and I saw a mask decorated with golden silk in-between a green and a black mask of similar design. I picked it up carefully and observed the intricate swirls of glitter and rhinestones placed so precisely against the fabric.
"The Heads get the first pick, of course." She said coyly.
"Really?" I asked in excitement. She nodded and I let a wide grin spread on my face. I would have hugged her if it was appropriate. "Thank you so much, Professor!"
"It's quite alright, Miss Granger. Do you know where I could find Mr. Potter?"
Just his name made my stomach curl uncomfortably. "It depends what time it is."
She glanced at a clock behind me. "Nearly noon."
"He's eating."
She smiled and resealed the box. I watched her retreat out of the room and sighed. I looked at the beautiful mask once more and held it delicately in my hand as I made my way back to my dorm to put it with my dress. I heard my stomach grumble and quickened my pace.
When I saw Marie she was looking at me with an all-knowing expression. Wonderful.
"Oh, shut up." I mumbled.
"I did not say anything."
I scoffed. "You're not the only one who can read people. Aide-memoire."
She chuckled and opened the portrait. I climbed in carefully, trying not to use the hand that was carrying the delicate mask. I climbed the staircase equally as slow. By the time I reached my room, the clock read ten minutes past noon. My stomach let out another protest of hunger and I rushed over to my bed to put the mask beside the box containing my gown. But that wasn't the only thing on my bed.
There was a torn piece of parchment lying atop the box.
I set down the mask gingerly and picked up the scrap piece of parchment, thinking it was just picked up by the wind. I knew that was a lie, because the window was sealed shut. Hedwig had made it through more difficult mazes before though. I felt my heart begin to pound as I read the note.
Meet me at eleven in the middle of the dance floor.
-Joe Bloggs.
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