Unofficial Portkey Archive

Author's Note: - Apologizing in advance for spelling and grammar mistakes.

Disclaimer: - I do not own Harry Potter and anyone or anything related.

Slipping Away

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Hermione wasn't sure whom she was trying to convince with those words, Ginny or herself.

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As Hermione apparated back to the Ministry, she felt like she was drowning in the pool of her own emotional turmoil. Why things had to turn this way? Why was she not strong enough to reveal her fears and insecurities in front of Harry? They had been best friend for years now. They talked about everything in the past (at least Harry had). Never before there had been circumstances where they couldn't talk about their doubts and fears with each other. Then why now?

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Hermione found it extremely difficult to focus on her work for next few days. All she could think about was where she stood in Harry's life. On surface, Harry had looked content with their relationship and she desperately wanted to hope that it was the situation under the surface as well. However, her self-doubts wouldn't let her do so. Annie tried to help her, but her soothing words did nothing to make her feel better.

As days passed, there was no news about Harry either. Last, she had seen was the day he had left for the mission. After that, she had asked Neville about his return at least twice or thrice. But since any information regarding the mission was to be kept confidential, she didn't get much out of Neville except that it was about to be over.

For Hermione, each day away from Harry felt like ages. Only thing that kept her going was that he would be back soon and then he would put an end to all her miseries and insecurities. In the few months that they had been together, Harry never showed that he wasn't happy with her. He was always doing things like smiling, laughing, joking, teasing…at least that's what she saw whenever he was around her. She hadn't seen the ghost of his past-unrequited feelings in his eyes for a long time now. Then why did she doubt his feelings for her? Why she still felt that he wanted to be with Ginny, that he craved for Ginny's love instead of hers?

Hermione had never felt so vulnerable in her life before. Harry was the person who could make her feel like this. He always had this effect on her. His actions sometimes would sometimes make her feel happiest person in the world and sometimes she would feel like loneliest.

Even if a large part of her had started to believe that Harry had never loved her, that she was only filling Ginny's space in his heart, a very small part of her was still hanging onto the hope that Harry loved her. That part believed that he wanted her not Ginny, that with Ginny, it was just an infatuation, not love. Even if that small part was just an illusion of hers, she still wanted to hang onto it. She never wanted to give her hopes up…she didn't want to give up Harry.

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With days passing, Hermione had started to feel depressed and tired, and it was becoming very difficult for her to hold onto her hopes. She felt as though if her hopes were slipping away from her hands like slippery sand.

Then, something happened that perhaps broke down that illusion of hers into pieces. It had happened three weeks after Hermione had warned Ginny to stay away from Harry.

Hermione had taken an early leave from her work. She had to go to Diagon Alley to get some books for work related problems. She flooed to the Leaky Cauldron directly from her office, as she felt very out of focus to concentrate for apparating.

After taking care of the books she wanted to purchase, Hermione wandered around the Diagon Alley for some time, to clear her head. This was the first time she had come to a wizarding public place, since the day Harry had left for his mission. She could see people pointing towards her and talking behind her back in low voices. However, she paid no mind to it and continued her meaningless stroll.

After some time when she was tired of her aimless wandering, she decided to go back to her flat. She was walking back towards the Leaky Cauldron when she saw Ron and Jessica coming out of the shop, Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions. Ron was holding some shopping bags and Jessica was holding a medium sized square box in her hand.

"Ron," Hermione called walking towards Ron and Jessica. Ron turned around and saw Hermione walking towards him and Jessica, through the crowd.

"Hermione," Ron said recognizing his bushy haired friend.

"Hey Ron," Hermione said with a smile as she hugged her second best friend in the world.

Ron hugged her back and pulled back with a wide smile on his face.

Hermione felt good seeing Ron's jovial face. After weeks of desolation, it was nice to see the face of her best friend. She could literally feel the stretch of her face muscles as she smiled.

"It's so nice to see you Ron." Hermione said in a heartfelt voice.

"Same here, Hermione. So how are you doing? It feels like I haven't seen you for ages." Ron said.

"I am fine." Hermione said. Her eyes fell on Ron's girlfriend, who was looking towards them uncomfortably.

"Hey Jessica," Hermione said looking at the girl standing next to Ron.

However, instead of greeting Hermione, Jessica glared at her and then looked at her boyfriend.

"Let's go Ron. I don't want to associate myself with the likes of her." She said venomously.

Hermione and Ron were flabbergasted. Hermione broke the silence.

"What does that supposed to mean, Jessica?" Hermione asked, frowning, as Ron recovered from his shocked state.

"What's wrong with you?" Ron asked looking angry.

However, Jessica ignored him, as she continued to glare at Hermione.

"What I mean is that I don't like to associate myself with a selfish bitch like you. You know Harry doesn't love you. He loves Ginny. Still you are trying to come in between them." Jessica said bluntly. Hermione looked shocked at her malicious words.

Over the last few years, Jessica and Ginny had become good friends, and almost best friends ever since Jessica started dating Ron. Ginny considered Jessica as a part of Weasley family. Since Jessica and Ginny worked together, Jessica had noticed that her friend looked unhappy for last couple of weeks. She could see that Ginny looked lost in her thoughts most of the time. It looked like she wasn't getting enough sleep and that she wasn't eating properly. Jessica tried to ask her what was wrong, but Ginny always denied that something was wrong.

Finally, when she couldn't take it anymore, Jessica forced Ginny to tell her what was wrong. In response, Ginny had broken down in front of her and told her about how Harry had confessed his feelings to her and how she had turned him down, and then what had happened at the restaurant and that Hermione had asked her to stay away from Harry. Ginny had confessed that she still loved Harry and regretted to turn him down, and she believed that Harry still had feelings for her. Jessica felt bad for her friend and felt very angry with Hermione.

Jessica had never been very fond of Hermione. She would always interfere in lives of Harry and Ron. Even though Ron was Jessica's boyfriend, he would always go to Hermione if he had any problem. Jessica and Ron had few arguments over it in the past, but nothing changed. However, what surprised her most was that how easily Harry and Ron allowed Hermione to boss them around.

But this time Hermione had crossed her limits. She was Ginny's friend. How could she treat her like that? Moreover, one thing was clear for Jessica, Hermione was taking advantage of Harry.

"You are nothing but a scarlet woman who takes advantage of her best friend. You don't deserve Harry or Ron's friendship." Jessica said angrily, not bothering to keep her voice down. Looking at Hermione's shaken face, she knew she had hit the right nerve. People had slowly started to look towards them. However, Hermione didn't notice this as she was looking at Jessica.

Hermione felt as though if she had turned deaf. She couldn't hear anything else other than what Jessica had just told her. She could see Ron was saying something to her, but she couldn't hear what he was saying. Thoughts swirled in her mind.

Was she really taking advantage of Harry? Was she holding him back from reaching out for his happiness? They were best friends. She wanted him to be happy. She had never tried to come between Harry and his happiness. How could Jessica say that she was taking advantage of him? She didn't know a thing about her and Harry. Harry would tell her if he was not happy with her. Wouldn't he? Was Harry happy with her or every happy emotion he had shown in front of her was just a façade? Did he regret going out with her? Did he agree to go out with her because they slept together? Was he going out with her out of pity rather than love? She wanted Harry to tell her if he was not happy with her.

However, deep down, she knew that Harry would never tell her. He would never hurt her; even if that meant that, he would have to hurt himself.

Hermione felt her anger rising at Jessica's incriminations. She felt angry with herself for letting her say all those things to her. She felt angry with Harry for acting like a self-sacrificing hero. If he wanted to be with Ginny, he should have told her. They were best friends and he didn't have to hide his feelings from her. She wasn't some damsel in distress who needed his pity. Who the hell he think he was? If Harry loved Ginny, then Hermione wouldn't have come in between them. She would have let him go. He just had to tell her and she would have done anything for him.

But no, he had to go ahead and sacrifice his own happiness. Hermione wanted to hit something. She could feel it as she started to lose control. She could feel the angry energy bubbling inside her, fighting to come out.

"You know what, Hermione, you are really stupid if you think that Harry would choose an ugly duckling like you over a beautiful girl like Ginny." Jessica said sneering at Hermione's face.

"That's enough Jessica." Ron screamed his face turning a shade of red due to anger. Jessica was shocked at his outburst. She realized that she had gone a bit too far in her fit of anger. She opened her mouth to say something, but Hermione interrupted her.

"How dare you say those things to me? You don't know a thing about me and Harry, so keep your bloody judgments to yourself." Hermione said in a cold voice.

All the frustration, fears, hurt, and anger that Hermione had been feeling in last couple of weeks came out in form of accidental magic as Hermione lost her control and the glass of the large window in front part of Madam Malkin's shop broke down all of a sudden. People who were standing near the window screamed as they were hit with some tiny pieces of broken glass. Luckily, there were just few cuts and scratches and nobody was seriously hurt.

Jessica looked truly scared as she stared at Hermione with wide fearful eyes. Hermione got a little satisfaction from this, but she wasn't done yet.

Hermione stepped closer to Jessica. "I am leaving you because you are Ron's girlfriend, but next time I won't be so forgiving." She said looking straight into Jessica's eyes.

Jessica turned her eyes to look at her boyfriend, hoping that he would say something to Hermione. But he didn't say anything. He just stared back at her with loathing.

Hermione looked at Ron. "I have to go." She said in an urgent voice as she felt herself breaking down.

Ron opened his mouth to say something, but before he could say anything Hermione disappeared.

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Hermione found herself standing inside her bedroom at her flat. She had managed to apparate without splinching herself. Then, she just fell on her bed and broke down, her newly bought books lying on the floor, forgotten. She didn't know how long she cried, it was dark when she looked outside her bedroom window. When her tears subsided, she felt some noise coming from her kitchen. She wiped her tears away and got out of her bed.

Hermione walked out of the room and carefully moved towards the kitchen with her wand in her hand. Her wand dropped from her hand when she saw who it was.

"Harry," She said croakily, her voice hoarse from all crying.

Harry, who was cooking something, turned around.

"Hermione," He said looking astonished.

"I wasn't expecting you to be back so soon from the Ministry." He said with a smile.

His smile faded looking at Hermione's face. She looked angry.

Hermione felt as if Harry was teasing her with his fake smile. What Jessica said was still churning in her mind. She couldn't help but feel the sting of those words.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

Harry looked at her oddly. "Where else I would be?" He asked in a joking voice.

But he soon realized that Hermione was not in a mood of jokes today.

"Leave Harry," Hermione said unexpectedly.

"What?" Harry asked, bewildered.

"You heard me." Hermione replied.

"But why?" Harry asked looking at Hermione as if she had gone mad.

"Just go, Harry. Ginny would be waiting for you. She wants to be with you. And I am sure you also want to be with her." Hermione said tiredly.

"Ginny?" Harry asked feeling confused.

But Hermione didn't seem to hear him.

"Just leave me alone Harry." Hermione said again.

"But Hermione," Harry started, but Hermione just shook her head.

"Please leave." She repeated. With one last look at Harry, she walked out of the kitchen and back into her room.

Harry could hear the door of her room slamming shut. He walked towards her room and knocked on the door.

"Hermione, please open the door." Harry pleaded.

"Go away Harry." He heard Hermione's voice coming from inside the room.

"Hermione please," Harry pleaded, but this time there was no response from her.

Harry just gave one last look at the door of Hermione's bedroom, before apparating out of her flat.

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Author's Note: - So what did you think of this chapter? Please tell me through your reviews. I know Hermione is a little OOC in this chapter and it contains too much angst. Hopefully next chapter would set everything right.

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