Things To Be Said
Hermione wandered into the lounge to find her parents and Remus standing in the middle of the room whispering anxiously to each other, Tonks and Ginny were having a rather somber looking discussion in front of the fireplace. Hermione suddenly recalled Ginny desperately needing to speak with her earlier. Obviously Ginny's abrupt need to talk had something to do with what had gone on between Ron and Harry; squaring her shoulders Hermione started across the room towards Ginny and Tonks but was stopped by her parents and Remus. Olivia Granger stepped in front of her daughter and asked the anxiety in her voice was evident.
"Hermione darling are you all right"
Remus interjected.
"Hermione is Harry all right"
Thaddeus Granger rounded out the trio's questions with.
"Poppet what are earth is going on…I thought Ron and Harry were friends…why were they fighting"
Hermione sighed and paused long enough to fire off answers to the barrage of questions being hurled at her.
"I'm perfectly fine Mum…Harry is fine as well unless you count the brooding he's doing right now…as for what caused all of this I have no idea…yet"
Having said that Hermione turned on her heel and walked over to where Ginny and Tonks were standing. Tonks looked at Hermione nodded her head in the direction of the kitchen and asked.
"Everything all right then"
Hermione smiled half-heartedly and said.
"As all right as things can be considering the circumstances"
Tonks patted Hermione's shoulder understandingly.
"I'm sure it'll blow over soon…well I best get going Kingsley'll be looking for me after much longer…see you two later"
Tonks turned and headed over to Remus and the Grangers to say her other goodbyes. Ginny smiled nervously and said.
"Guess I should be shoving off as well"
Hermione glared at Ginny quite severely with a look that was worthy of Professor McGonagall and said.
"Not until we've finished our chat"
Hermione stepped aside and nodded towards the stairs. Ginny sighed and began the trek up the stairs and into the upstairs lounge with Hermione close behind her. Once they were inside the lounge Hermione closed the door and turning to Ginny said.
"All right then what was all that about"
Ginny attempted to compose her face into a perplexed expression but thought better of it and replied.
"I'd guess that Ron found out about you and Harry seeing each other"
Hermione frowned and asked.
"And what does Ron finding out about Harry and I have to do with he and Harry fighting"
Ginny replied frankly.
"Considering the fact Ron fancies you himself and told Harry about it my guess would be that he feels a little betrayed"
Hermione's eyes widened, she clutched at her collar with her left hand and her mouth flew open.
"Wha…wha…what did you say"
"I said that Ron fancies you…he always has…I thought you two would've got together back at Hogwarts but you ended up with Krum"
Hermione walked slowly over to the couch and sat down. It was a well-known fact that for a time during their years at Hogwarts that she and Ron mutually harbored unspoken crushes on each other. Eventually as with most childhood crushes time proved them to be nothing more than friends. Not long after the trio had left Hogwarts and before Viktor had reentered her life Harry had asked Hermione why she and Ron had never gone out taking into account their apparent attraction to one another. Hermione had explained to him that she had grown to understand the true nature of her feelings for Ron and that they were not of the amorous sort. She told Harry that there was actually someone else; also a good friend, whom she cared for deeply, of course she had been referring to him but Harry had not caught on to the meaning of her declaration. Harry had not responded to her words he simply nodded and changed the subject instead. Believing that he had no romantic inclinations where she was concerned Hermione had allowed their relationship to continue on in the same vein as before and once Viktor came back into her life proclaiming his love for her she had taken it as what was meant to be. Hermione was brought back to the present moment by Ginny's hand on her shoulder gently shaking her.
"Hermione…are you all right"
Hermione sighed and nodded.
"Ron fancies me…so this witch that he's been going on about…the one he's been telling Harry all about is me"
Ginny bobbed her head up and down.
"And you have known about this…Ron's feelings for me…from the start…that's why you were so against Harry and I as a couple…you were trying to stop Ron from being hurt"
"That was one of my reasons"
"One of your reasons…"
"Hermione I don't think this is the time to get into any of this we should really be focusing on patching up this row between Ron and Harry"
Hermione glared intently at Ginny and responded.
"It seems to me that if you had been honest with me from the beginning Ron and Harry wouldn't be rowing right now…so I would really like to know what other reasons you had for wanting Harry and I apart"
Hermione's voice held a steely edge that Ginny recognized as an unmistakably clear attempt to keep her temper in check. Ginny closed her eyes and slowly expelled a breath.
"You're right I should have told you from the start how Ron felt about you but I was angry that you were carrying on with Harry and hadn't said a word to me about it…and I know I had no reason to be angry but I…I just thought…oh Hermione…"
Ginny's voice trailed off as she lowered her gaze and stared at the carpet. Hermione sighed and said.
"You were upset over Harry and I seeing each other because of you and Draco"
Ginny's head snapped up and her eyes widened in surprise.
"You know"
Hermione nodded.
"I know"
"But how…"
"I've known you a long time and it has been obvious to me for a very long time that something was bothering you about your relationship with Draco…I've been worried since you and Draco started dating that this plan of yours to keep everything a secret wasn't a good idea …you are so close to your family and hiding something this important from them has to be painfully difficult"
Ginny shook her head mutely and absently wiped at an errant tear that was making its way down her cheek. Hermione grabbed her hand and said in a soothing voice.
"You are in love with him then…"
Ginny nodded. Hermione continued.
"I imagine it must have hurt you seeing Harry and I so seriously involved and on the verge of going public when Draco still refuses to even entertain the idea of telling his mother about the two of you"
Ginny squeezed Hermione's hand and began to speak.
"I know it doesn't make sense…we have only been together a short while…but I love him so much…I just wanted to be with him so I told myself I could do things his way…I was so sure I could be everything he ever needed or wanted…he was honest about not wanting anyone to know about us from the very beginning and I went along with it at first…lying to him and myself about what I really wanted…but once I saw you and Harry building the kind of relationship I so desperately wanted to have with Draco…"
Ginny paused and laughed humorlessly.
"I convinced myself that all the things I felt were wrong with my relationship with Draco were wrong with Harry as well…like Draco wasn't capable of allowing himself to feel anything too deeply…I said it was the consequence of all those years fighting against who his father wanted him to be…I told myself that he obviously cared for me more than most of the witches he's carried on with in the past…at least he does say the words `I love you' even if he doesn't mean them…and I told myself that relationships like ours, secret relationships, had to be that way…then I saw you and Harry together and I really looked at you…and I could see something different…he loves you Hermione…he's truly in love with you…it's so obvious…it made me jealous and angry…I tried to tear you apart…I…I…I'm sorry…"
Ginny's voice died down to a whisper and her shoulders shook as the tears flowed down her cheeks. Hermione wrapped her arms around Ginny and rocked her consolingly.
"Its all right Ginny…"
Ginny pulled from Hermione's embrace and asked.
"How can you stand being near me right now…all of this is my fault…I knew how Ron would react to finding out about you and Harry…and I never said a word…not one bloody word…I could've stopped this…I could've told you…I…I…its all my fault"
Hermione replied.
"You can't blame yourself entirely for what's happened here…we all had a part in creating this mess. Yes you could have said something about how Ron felt just as easily as Harry and I could have said something about what was going on between us. And Merlin knows Ron could have told me how he truly felt…but none of us did that…we chose to keep our secrets…so we are all to blame…but none of that is important now…what matters now is sorting out all this rubbish…and I suppose you and I may as well start right here and now…"
Ginny straightened her posture and said.
"You're right we do need to start right now. Hermione I'm sorry…I was selfish and petty and I should have never tried to come between you and Harry…I should have been as good a friend to you as you have been to me…I hope you can forgive me"
Hermione smiled.
"Ginny of course I forgive give…and I'm sorry too…Harry and I should have been honest with all of you from the start"
Ginny walked over to where Hermione was standing and hugged her tightly.
"You and Harry have no reason to be sorry…no one can blame you for falling in love"
Hermione nodded.
"Let's hope Ron comes round to your way of thinking quick enough"
"You're going to talk to him"
"Someone has to and I don't think he and Harry are ready to try talking just yet"
"What are you going to tell Harry…how are you going to get out of the house"
"I am not going to tell Harry anything just yet…not before I sort out where Ron is in all of this…if I can make Ron understand hopefully I can stop this before it gets any worse"
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Hermione apparated into the lounge of Ron's London flat with a crackle, she stood still for a moment allowing time for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. A fire burned low in the fireplace casting a soft glow about the room. Directly in front of the fireplace stretched out in an oversized leather armchair was Ron. Three empty bottles of ale, an empty bottle of fire whiskey and another half-empty bottle of fire whiskey and a glass sat on the corner table beside the chair. Hermione slowly made her way across the room; she stopped halfway and taking a deep breath called out.
"Ron"
Ron stiffened in his chair straight away. The hand that had been hanging loosely over the arm of the chair suddenly flexed into a fist. He said nothing. Hermione spoke again.
"Ron I wanted to come by and make sure you were all right…"
Ron picked up the glass on the table and drained its contents still he said nothing. Hermione continued.
"And…and to talk to you…a…about Harry and I"
Hermione stopped speaking and waited for Ron to respond. When he spoke his speech was slightly slurred yet the anger he felt was evident.
"Oh…so now you want to talk do you…"
Hermione nodded her head vigorously then realized that with his back to her and the darkness of the room Ron could not possibly see her movements. She took a deep breath and replied.
"Yes I wanted to talk because I think that we…"
Ron cut her off.
"Well I don't have one bloody word to say to you"
"Ron I realize that you are upset but this is not the way to go about resolving your issues…"
Ron ground out his words through gritted teeth.
"Get…out"
Hermione tried again.
"Ron I…"
Ron grabbed the bottle of fire whiskey on the table and foregoing the glass turned the bottle up to his lips and drained the contents in a single gulp and flinging the empty bottle into the fireplace roared.
"GET…OUT"
Hermione took a step backwards momentarily shocked by the sound of the glass exploding in the fireplace. Her momentary fright over, an infuriated grimace covered Hermione's face. Whipping out her wand Hermione cried.
"Lumos Solara"
Instantly the room blazed bright as if every light in the flat had been turned on, even the fire in the fireplace seemed to burn brighter. Hermione rounded on Ron who had angrily risen from his seat and hit him square in the chest with a combination silencing body-binding spell. Ron fell back into his chair helplessly unable to move or speak.
"All right Ron you are going to listen to me whether you like it or not…I understand that you are upset with both Harry and I and I suppose that under the circumstances that is a reasonable reaction…I can only imagine how it must feel to find out that your two best friends have been seeing each other behind your back without ever saying a word to you about it…"
Ron's eyes widened in astonishment at Hermione's words, that statement had to be the biggest understatement of all time. Hermione continued her soliloquy.
"And I'm sorry that neither Harry or I told you what was happening between us but we were not sure of what was going on ourselves…everything just happened so fast…we scarcely had time to sort out what was going on let alone tell someone else what was happening between us…I suppose that's what happens when you fall in love suddenly…or in our case you suddenly admit that you're in love…"
The angry glint in Ron's eyes turned to hurt and Hermione was certain Ron would have given anything to close his eyes to prevent her from seeing his pain if he could have.
"I know it hurts you to hear this Ron but you have to know the truth…I'm in love with Harry…I have been for as long as I can remember…I can't explain to you why because I don't really know why…I just know that a part of me belongs to him in a way that it has never belonged to any other person on this earth…I wish I had known how you felt…if I had I could have spared you so much pain…you are so very important to me Ron and I'd never do anything to hurt you…I love you so much but not in the way that I love Harry…and I know that this is the absolute last thing you want to hear but you have to know that I've never had those kinds of feelings for you…and even if Harry and I were not together you and I would not be together either…so if you want to be angry with someone be angry with me…I'm the one who's hurt you not Harry…Harry would never do anything to hurt you Ron…he would rather have died first…none of this is his fault…so please if you have to hate someone hate me"
Hermione took a steadying breath and pointing her wand at Ron released him from the spells she had hit him with earlier. Then without so much as a word she disapparated leaving Ron to think about what she'd said.
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Hermione apparated into Harry's bedroom at Grimmauld Place to find him sitting on the edge of the bed awaiting her arrival. Glancing down at her watch she realized that it was well after midnight. She had been gone for hours. Hermione had told Remus to tell Harry that she was going to make sure that her parents got home safely. After performing disillusionment spells on her parents and herself they headed off to her parents cottage in Cambridge. Once she had seen them securely inside and assured them that she was and would be fine she headed over to Ron's. Following their debacle of a talk she had been so overwrought that she went to a play park down the street from her flat. The disillusionment spell she'd used earlier had prevented anyone from detecting her presence. She had sat down on a swing to compose herself; briefly she had contemplated spending the night in her own bed but the thought of Harry worrying over her absence prompted her to return to Grimmauld Place. The sound of Harry's voice brought Hermione back to the present moment.
"You all right"
Hermione nodded her head affirmatively.
Harry spoke again.
"I got worried when you didn't come back…I nearly rang your parents but I didn't want to upset them unnecessarily so I called at Ginny's and she told me rather reluctantly that you went to see Ron"
Hermione came and sat down on the bed beside Harry and answered.
"I wanted to explain this to him…I thought we owed him that much"
Harry nodded his head wrapped his arms around her and repeated his prior question.
"Are you all right"
Hermione disentangled herself from Harry's embrace rose to her feet took his hand in hers and pulled him to his feet.
"I'm fine now…just tired…and tomorrow's going to be a long day"
Harry cocked his head to the side and queried.
"Going back to work tomorrow eh"
Hermione nodded.
"I have no intentions of hiding from those vultures…I mean honestly its not as if we've done anything wrong…I'll not be driven into hiding just because the sodding press thinks our relationship is news-worthy"
Harry pulled Hermione into his arms and kissed her slowly and passionately. When he broke the contact of their mouths Hermione asked.
"What was that for"
Harry shrugged and replied.
"Just because I love you"
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Draco Malfoy arrived at his girlfriend Ginny Weasley's flat in a near panic. She'd sent him an urgent owl beseeching him to come over right away. Draco had been in the middle of a dinner party at his mother's when the owl had arrived; the party was over for the most part considering the fact that it was nearly midnight but Draco knew his mother would expect him to stay until the end, he was after all the man of the manor. But it was so unlike Ginny to request his presence unexpectedly that he'd hastily donned his cloak and made his excuses to his mother and her guests, saying an urgent business matter had come up that he had to attend to personally and apparated right over. Draco raced down the hall and burst into the bedroom. Ginny was sitting in the middle of the bed hugging a pillow to her chest crying uncontrollably. Draco rushed to her side and drew her into his arms. He rocked her gently and stroked her back as he spoke soothingly to her.
"Ginny…darling what in the name of Merlin is the matter…I came as soon as I got your owl…everything's all right now I'm here…it's all right"
Ginny opened her mouth and tried to speak but all that came out was a strangled hiccupping sob. Draco pulled Ginny more tightly to him and whispered to her quietly to calm her down. He reached into his pocket and withdrew his wand and conjured a glass of water. He placed the glass to Ginny's lips and held it there as she slowly sipped the water and gradually calmed herself. Draco pulled her back into his arms and stroking her hair asked.
"Feeling better"
Ginny nodded, took a deep breath and replied in a small voice.
"A little"
Draco kissed the top of her head and continued.
"Good…now tell me what's got you so worked up in the first place"
Ginny sat up and stared at Draco.
"Do you love me"
Draco raised an eyebrow questioningly at Ginny and replied.
"I'm here aren't I"
Ginny tried again.
"Yes you're here but are you in love with me I mean truly in love with me…"
Draco cut her off.
"Ginny does this have something to do with all those damn pictures of Potter and Granger that are plastered on the cover of every bloody paper known to wizard-kind…honestly love you can't let that fiasco upset you so…"
Ginny snatched up the evening edition of the Prophet tossed it at Draco and interjected angrily.
"WE ARE THAT FIASCO ON THE FRONT PAGE…HAVE YOU READ WHAT THEY'RE SAYING…"
Ginny grabbed the paper that had fallen to the floor and began to read lines from it.
"UNLIKELY PAIRING…REPORTED TO HAVE BEEN JUST FRIENDS…CONCEALED RELATIONSHIP FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY…IT GOES ON AND ON LIKE THAT DRACO…TELL ME…HOW DIFFERENT WOULD THESE HEADLINES BE IF THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT YOU AND ME AND NOT HARRY AND HERMIONE"
Ginny's words hung in the air for a moment before she resumed speaking in a lower voice.
"Do you have any idea why Harry kept his relationship with Hermione a secret…he did it because he didn't want to turn her life upside down…he knew that we…the press…would have a bloody field day dissecting their lives and printing rubbish like this…"
Ginny tossed the paper she'd been reading from back to the floor.
"I watched them Draco…I watched them and it is so easy to see how in love they are with each other…I watched them getting closer and closer…and I got jealous…jealous because I wanted what they have"
Draco stared at Ginny incredulously and asked.
"You were jealous of Potter and Granger's relationship…what the bloody hell for"
Ginny replied.
"Because they have a chance Draco…when its all said and done they have a chance at making a life together because they knew at some point their relationship would be out in the open and their love is strong enough to get them through it…we don't have that Draco…we never have…I'll never be good enough for your mum and you'll never be man enough to risk losing your position in life for me"
Ginny's voice died to a whisper. Draco pulled her into his arms again and tried to stop her from saying what he knew she was about to say.
"Ginny…love…you've gotten yourself all worked up over nothing and I think you really need to just calm down…"
Ginny shook her head sadly and stepped out of Draco's embrace.
"Draco…do you love me"
"Yes"
"Then we can stop this hiding"
"Ginny it isn't that simple"
"Yes Draco it is if you want it to be"
Draco ran a hand through his hair.
"Ginny you know how complicated this is for me…"
Ginny held a finger to Draco's lips and stilled his words.
"I love you more than anyone in this world Draco but I can't go on like this…I just can't…goodbye Draco"
Ginny placed a gentle kiss to Draco's lips before turning and walking to the door. Draco attempted to speak but words failed him. Slowly he crossed the short distance to the door and stepped across its threshold as Ginny closed the bedroom door Draco heard the soft click of the lock. He hung his head and apparated home.
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