Hello, all! Yes, it's been almost a month since my last update. Summer is, unfortunately, a lot more hectic than I thought it would be, and my writing time has been cut down severely. Before I would write in the mornings, but now I have a three hour geology class every morning (ew) but the good news with that is it will be over in a month. And with the last book coming out around that time, I will get another chapter in before that, hopefully two, as we'll all be busy reading the new book for a bit. Plus, I have to take in my betas' busy schedules--I'm actually uploading this with only having heard back from one of my betas.
Anyways, enjoy!
~*~
Ginny was sitting in an empty classroom at Hogwarts. It was an odd feeling, she thought to herself, to be aware of the fact that she was dreaming. How could she not be, when she knew the school was one of the first things to be destroyed after Dumbledore's death? Professor McGonagall had kept it running for as long as she could, but without Dumbledore's protection, the school soon fell with the rest of wizard kind.
But here she was, sitting on a desk as if waiting for someone. It was dark out, and she was in her old uniform. Ginny played with her Gryffindor tie, missing what she once had. She felt the material of her robe, slightly scratchy from being second-hand, but it felt so real against her fingertips. Even an owl that hooted outside the window made her jump. She hopped off the desk and walked over to a window, where she could see the moonlight reflecting off the lake below. Somewhere she heard a clock chime, and according to it, it was midnight.
"Promise me you'll always be mine."
Ginny let out a yelp and turned around. Draco was standing behind him with a sullen look on his face.
Ginny frowned at him in his Slytherin tie and his school robes. Yes, she decided, she was certainly dreaming, and what an odd one at that. This was twice now that she had replaced Draco for Harry at school, because never would she have been in such a situation with the Slytherin. But as she studied him more, he looked younger than the Draco she knew now. She was remembering Draco as he used to be, and was already replacing him for Harry.
"Promise me," he continued. "With everything that happens, you'll always be mine." His face turned dark. "I can't let you be his."
His? But Harry was dead. Ginny shook her head; nothing was making any sense. "Draco, I don't know what you're talking about."
But before her eyes, the younger Draco transformed into the Draco she knew. He grew several inches in height, his chest was broader, and he was out of his Hogwarts uniform. But he was still looking at Ginny with a sullen look, as if something terrible was about to happen.
"I'll find a way for you to be with me forever," he said as he took out his wand. "You just have to trust me. Do you trust me, Ginny?"
Ginny gaped at the wand pointing at her, her mouth moving like a fish. How could she trust him while he pointed his wand at her like that? "Wait, Draco-"
"I'm sorry, Ginevra," Draco whispered before a light flashed out of his wand and straight towards her, causing her to squeeze her eyes shut at the blinding light.
When she opened her eyes, she knew she was in her bedroom at Malfoy Manor. Her heart was racing at the dream, but she soon began to settle down as she saw sunlight pouring through the open windows and hitting her in the face. That would explain the burst of light she dreamt of. And, for the sake of Draco being the source of light, that was easily explained considering he was still lying next to her and holding onto her tight.
But her stomach was still doing a wild loop, as if it had just gone on a very real, very scary ride. She looked at the stand that held the picture of her family (that was still turned around) and stared at her wand lying next to it. To have a dream about being held up by the man she had just slept with couldn't be a good sign. Snape's warning to be careful of Draco echoed in her head. Ginny swore she would, but she was starting to think that sleeping with the man who was a Death Eater, resulted in a number of her loved ones' deaths, and won her as a prize, wasn't smart at all.
With that thought in mind, she slowly turned over to face Draco. She held her breath as she moved, but when she shifted her body, all he did was grunt in his sleep and loosen his grip on her. From this position, staring at him while he slept, Ginny thought Draco was at his weakest point, and only then could she maybe decide what to do about him. She stared at his face, which really was handsome, and then at the lips that had just kissed her the night before. But those same lips years ago spat horrible insults at her friends and family, or would smirk in that horrible way of his. But then she was brought back to the remembrance of how gentle they were on her last night, when he knew how inexperienced she was with everything. If he was someone to be cautious of, wouldn't he have just taken her for his own greedy use, and not cared about her own pleasure?
Ginny squeezed her eyes shut for a moment; she just wanted to stop thinking. For just a moment, she wanted to forget who Draco really was, because it made everything easier. And every time she even tried to figure out just who he was, it made her mind do circles--she never felt like she was getting anywhere. She couldn't deny, though, that she enjoyed her experience with him the night before, and her stomach fluttered at the thought of doing it again.
When she opened her eyes again, Draco was staring right at her. Ginny's breath hitched in her throat to see he was awake, and she briefly wondered if he could read minds, because by the look of his tense face, he seemed to know she was thinking up a storm. Or, maybe it was expected that she wouldn't be necessarily laid back about just sleeping with him.
Whatever the case was, Ginny was starting to wish he would say something, but Draco just continued to stare at her. There was no expression on his face, and it made Ginny want to squirm. He was sizing her up. He was waiting for her to make the first move, for her to say something and to show her reaction after their night together. But Ginny didn't know what to do in a situation like this. Was she supposed to mention last night at all? Maybe compliment him on how great it felt? Or maybe he wanted to pretend it never happened at all. Maybe he was starting to realize how it may have been a huge mistake, and that there were just too many complications. And while her brain was reeling, and every second that went by in silence grew uncomfortable, she was aware of how close her naked body was to his, with only one sheet covering them from the waists down.
To break the growing silence, Ginny decided to be safe and ask him what she already knew. "So, what happened last night?" she asked in a quiet voice as her eyes darted to the cheek where he had a cut the night before, but there was no scar. She knew the story--he found Crabbe, but Flint found Draco as well. And though there was trouble, nothing serious happened, and Draco still had no proof that she wasn't raped.
"You were wrong about what you think happened to you in your cell," he said, his voice steady.
Ginny's eyebrows scrunched. By the sound of how he was talking about it with Snape last night, Draco was no sooner to figuring the truth out than he was before he left after they had sex. "How do you know?" she asked.
She saw Draco's mouth tighten, but only for a moment. "I talked to Crabbe last night. He swore that he never let anyone in. He knew that if he did, his life would be on the line."
"But how do you know he's telling the truth? He could have been lying."
Draco slowly shook his head. "He's too stupid to lie. When he does, it shows all over his face. I would have known."
At this response Ginny was silent. Draco was correct on Crabbe's ability, or lack of, to lie. Out of the many times Draco or one of his goons tried to attack Ron or Harry at Hogwarts, Ginny had been around once when Professor McGonagall had caught Crabbe in the act, and to see Crabbe try to get out of it and fail miserably was enough proof. For a Slytherin, he wasn't very sly, or crafty. But where it may have been something to believe Draco's statement on Crabbe, when Draco talked to Snape about it the night before, he didn't sound like such a statement would solve everything.
To her surprise, Draco tightened his grip on her, and drew her so close to him, their lips were inches away. "I doubt you'll listen to me, but if I told you not to worry about it, think you could try?" Draco asked, his voice lower and quieter.
Ginny couldn't help but glance at his lips, and then lick her own. Thoughts of what occurred between them the night before kept on drifting into her mind. She could have that again if she wanted to. All she had to do was lean forward, and kiss him. Their bodies were so close, his skin lightly skimmed her own. Oh, she thought, this was sexual tension at its best. And just when she thought it couldn't get any worse, she felt something harden against her, and she bet a million galleons it wasn't Draco's wand.
Ginny looked up at Draco's eyes, and saw that the serious look he had before was replaced with something entirely different. Her heart thumped as Draco's hand that held her lightly grazed her skin while making circles with his fingers. She was barely aware that her breath was coming out in short pants, and that whatever confusing thoughts she had of Draco a moment ago were drifting away the more he touched her. She waited for Draco to kiss her, to make the first move, but he continued to stare at her and just play with her. When it was apparent that he was going to make no move, Ginny threw all her frustration out the window, all of her thoughts and fears, and leaned forward and kissed him hard.
The moment her lips touched his, Draco was already on top of her, kissing her back. By the fierceness of his touch, Ginny could tell that the sexual tension she felt was just as bad on his end. Compared to his gentleness the night before, Ginny felt like Draco had grown into a wild animal over night. He was kissing her everywhere: her lips, her neck, her chest. He was nipping and sucking--hard. Ginny gasped when while he kissed her thoroughly, he pulled her bottom lip between her own and bit her, and then he moved back to ear where he nibbled the lobe. And all the while, his hands were everywhere, groping and touching and squeezing. All Ginny could do was try to keep up.
She rubbed her body against his own, desperate for him to be in her. While he played with--or rather demolished--her breast, Ginny pulled at his hair, making his groan muffle against her nipple. In response he nipped at the sensitive skin, making Ginny gasp and buck her hips into his own.
"P-please, Draco," Ginny whimpered. Oh, how she hated to beg, but she wanted nothing more than him at the moment.
Draco looked up at her and gave a smirk at her words; if she wasn't so turned on, she would have rolled her eyes at knowing what she was doing to his already huge ego. But before she had to beg again, Draco position himself and entered her with one, quick thrust.
They both groaned, but this time there was no stopping or slowing down. Ginny had to push her hands up against the headboard as Draco repeatedly slammed into her so hard, her whole body was inching forward. She had already orgasmed after a short moment, and again when Draco moved her legs from around his back to rest on his shoulders, hitting an angle so intense that she almost blacked out. Sweat was dripping down Draco's face and onto Ginny, mixing in with her own. Ginny released her hands from the headboard and scratched her nails down Draco's back so hard, that he finally came, taking her with him once more.
They were both panting heavily as Draco collapsed onto Ginny once she moved her legs (which felt like liquid) from his shoulders. They had only just got their breathing to normal when Draco suddenly jumped off of her and clutched his left forearm.
"No," he hissed. "Not now."
Ginny leaned up on her trembling arms. "What is it?" But as she managed to sit up and take a peek, she wished she hadn't. Her stomach dropped as she saw a black mark burning underneath Draco's hand--it was the Dark Mark, and his master was calling for him.
Ginny watched in shock as Draco scrambled off the bed, and grabbed his boxers. Not knowing what she was doing, Ginny went after him and grabbed his arm. "You can't go," she said desperately, knowing she was sounding like a fool. Who was she to prevent him from going to You-Know-Who?
Draco stilled at her touch, but he avoided her eyes. "Ginny, don't," he said, and pulled his arm away from her. He reached for the robes he wore the night before, and pulled those on as well, his back to her the whole time.
When Draco pulled his wand out, Ginny flung at him one more time in a desperate attempt. "Please, don't," she said, "please, for me. Don't go to him." She didn't even know why she was throwing herself, naked, at him, to prevent him from doing his duty. She knew this is what he was.
Draco finally looked at her, and he wasn't annoyed like she thought he may have been. He was frowning, but his eyes looked worried, and no longer contained the seriousness they often held. "Don't worry--I'll be right back. Nothing is going to happen to me." He touched her face lightly, and then with a pop he was gone.
But when he disappeared, it finally hit her why she was acting like she was. It wasn't because she didn't like the idea of sleeping with someone under command of Voldemort, or that leaving after sex made her feel vulnerable, or that she just didn't like the situation at all. The fear that crept into her belly the moment she saw the mark glow told her that something horrible was going to happen. Never once, since she was brought into Malfoy Manor, had Draco been called away so suddenly. And the night after Flint saw her at the party and tried to rape her, the night after Draco attacked his own kind for her, Draco was called away to the one and only person who could do anything about the situation. Snape had said so himself the night before that he wished that Voldemort would not learn of what Draco had done, because Voldemort would not take it lightly. That there would be a price to pay for Draco's actions.
And Draco would have to pay it, just because of her.
~*~
The moment she was dressed, Ginny owled Snape and told him what just happened. She thought if there was a time to test Snape's loyalty to her, it was now. She wasn't even sure what she was asking for him. She just told him that Draco was called away, and she had a bad feeling about it. After she sent the letter with Draco's eagle owl, she stared out the window and watched it fly away. She didn't know if she was overreacting or not. Of course she wouldn't like the idea of Draco going to Voldemort--why would she? Just because her situation with Draco has changed, didn't mean her views did.
To pass the time and to try to get her mind off worrying, she had Flipsy find her a book that showed how to make a contraceptive potion. She could barely acknowledge the fact that she was sleeping with a Death Eater--she certainly didn't want to have a Death Eater's child. The potion, unfortunately, was a lot harder to make than she thought it would. She had always scored fairly in potions class, but she was finding it hard to concentrate. Twice she almost messed up the ingredients, and almost forgot to stir clockwise for two minutes. She thought to ask Flipsy for help, but then remembered the rule that no house-elf was allowed to make potions in Malfoy Manor, and she refused to ask Snape for help, if he should ever show up. It took an hour, but she trudged through the complicated potion, and set it aside to cool before she would drink it.
After she washed her hands, Ginny took to wandering the halls of the manor. She felt as if she was walking in a daze, her mind was so unfocused. That's why she was slightly startled when she found herself in front of the portrait that led to the secret garden. She immediately entered the room, knowing a dose of flowers and sunlight would do her some good. Plus, it was a spot that she felt little connection with Draco.
She made to sit by the willow tree and maybe take a nap, feeling suddenly exhausted, but as if her feet had their own plan, she walked over to the daisies. She stared at her favorite flower and took in the beautiful scent as her thoughts went a mile per minute. Had Snape received her letter yet? Was there anything he could do to prevent Voldemort from hurting Draco? A part of Ginny tried to convince herself that nothing would happen at all--that her bad experiences from the war has transformed her into expecting the worse. But when it had to do with Voldemort-the one person responsible for ruining lives, how could she expect anything else?
Her eyes drifted from the petals down to the soil where she last found a box full of secrets. She had almost forgotten about the secret letters she found, and that she knew it was Narcissa Malfoy's. She had tried to speak to Draco's mother about the letters, to figure out who she had written to during her days in Hogwarts, and if the reason behind the secret garden was for a place to hide those letters from her husband, Lucius. And as Ginny stared at the soil, it suddenly occurred to her that with Draco out of the house, he couldn't stop her like last time from talking to Narcissa.
Feeling slightly guilty at the prospect of sneaking off to Narcissa when Draco could be in trouble, Ginny dropped to her knees and dug her hands through the soil in search of the box. When her hands found nothing, she frowned and tried a new area on the other side of the daisies, though she was certain that wasn't where she put the box back. After a moment passed and her hands were covered with dirt, she was still empty handed. Taking out her wand, she said a simple spell her mother used to move the soil while gardening. But to her astonishment, when the soil moved away from the daisies, nothing was there.
There was only one person who could have removed the box. She thought back to when Draco found her by Narcissa's portrait when Ginny had gone to ask her questions. Ginny had told Draco that she found a box of his mother's by the daisies, and now that box was gone.
A whole new dread washed over her as she replaced the soil and walked over to the fountain to wash her hands. If Draco had indeed taken the box of letters that meant he had read them, and would have figured out that Narcissa may have been involved with someone else that wasn't his father. Ginny didn't know how it would affect Draco--he had never talked about his father, which always made her thankful, but suddenly she found it odd how his name was never even spoken. She could understand why Draco refused to acknowledge his dead mother--he felt responsible for her death--but Ginny doubted Draco had as much as a role in Lucius' death. She didn't even know how Lucius died. It was a question she never wanted to ask Draco, or cared enough to think much about it. She was just glad he was gone; she couldn't imagine having to live in Malfoy Manor with him.
As she washed her hands, she stared at her reflection in the water. Her hair was still a mess from earlier with Draco. After she shook her hands dry, she grabbed her wand to fix her hair when a voice from behind spoke out.
"This is interesting, a prisoner with a wand. I'm quite sure that's forbidden."
Ginny jumped around and found herself pointing her wand at Snape. She let out a small breath of relief. "It's only you," she said as she lowered her wand.
Snape raised an eyebrow. "I would not take being caught with a wand lightly, Miss Weasley," Snape said. "If it was anyone but me who saw you just now, you couldn't imagine the trouble that would arise. And Mr. Malfoy may already be in enough trouble as it is."
Ginny's face dropped. The disappearance of the box almost made her forget about why Snape was there in the first place. "So you received my letter than?" she asked quickly. "Do you know what's going on? Is there anything you can do?"
"I stopped by headquarters on my way over here," Snape said, "and as far as I had gathered, there is nothing to worry about. The Dark Lord was speaking to Draco in his private chambers, but rest assured I didn't hear anything dreadful going on inside."
"But there could have been a silencing charm on the door," Ginny said quickly.
To her surprise, Snape smirked. "I assure you, if someone is being punished, the Dark Lord wants all to know."
Looking at Snape's confident face, Ginny allowed herself to breathe again, but only a little. She knew she wouldn't stop worrying until she saw Draco again in one piece.
"But what interests me more than anything," Snape continued, "is your avid worry for Draco. I thought I had warned you about getting too close."
Ginny's mouth dropped. "I-I don't know what you're talking about."
"Really? Please, explain to me then, if you're not getting close to Draco, why there is a contraceptive potion cooling in the kitchen."
Ginny's face burnt red, but at Snape's accusing eyes, her anger spiked. She knew she was caught, but she didn't know why she had to feel ashamed. "I don't see how any of this is your business," she snapped.
Snape's eyes flashed. "The last time I checked, Miss Weasley, I was risking my own neck to keep the last member of the Order safe, which all seems a waste now considering you're throwing yourself right into what you should be staying away from."
"But you don't even know if Draco is dangerous, do you?" Ginny asked.
"He was responsible for half the deaths in the Order, and not to mention he was the one who found-"
"I know what he did!" Ginny yelled. "I know he killed Hermione, and Lupin, and Harry's death is on his hands as well. But he's different towards me-"
"It's amazing that a little flirting can make you entirely forget of who he is and what he's done. He's only being nice towards you, Miss Weasley, because he knows you're pathetic enough to give him what he wants."
Ginny clutched her wand and pointed it right at Snape. "Take that back," she said, shaking with anger.
Snape merely glanced at the wand. "I won't, because you know it's true. Your whole life has been turned upside down--you were left with no one to care about you. You're lonely and vulnerable, and a few weeks with the man who is responsible for your misery was enough to make you forget who you are and what you stand for."
"But it's also because of Draco that I'm alive!" Ginny cried, desperate to forget what Snape was forcing her to see. "He was the one who got me out of prison and living in luxury. He protected me from Flint. He was the one who kept constant guards at my cell so I wouldn't get raped!"
"And do you really believe he did that all out of the goodness of his heart?" Snape said. "That he's a changed person and is to be trusted?"
"I never said I trusted him," Ginny said. "Things just aren't as black and white as you're making them out to be."
Snape was silent long enough that Ginny held onto her wand in anticipation. But his next words almost made her drop her wand.
"Let me check your memory to see if it's blocked."
Ginny fumbled with her wand. She had known, since the night before, that Snape had the ability to do so, but she had already decided against it. "Why? Draco already talked to Crabbe--he said nothing happened to me. And I heard you two talking last night--Draco said he didn't want you to check."
"Yes, I saw you at the door. That's why I offered my service, because I knew that you would never learn from Draco that I could help you with your problem."
Ginny slowly shook her head. "But what help could it do?" she asked. "I mean, say you did find something blocked, that doesn't mean you can unblock it. It would just drive me mad knowing that something horrible happened to me, and I have no idea what."
"But if it would prove to you just who Draco really is-"
"But it has nothing to do with Draco," Ginny said. "And I think he'd agree with me on why you shouldn't check."
"Has it ever occurred to you, Miss Weasley, that the only reason why Draco doesn't want you to be checked for a memory block is because he was the one that put it there in the first place?"
Time seemed to slow down at Snape's words. Ginny tried to tell him that he was being ridiculous, and that there was no way that it was true, but at Snape's certain face and her inability to speak, she knew he had hit a button. Snape was pointing out the uncertainty that she still felt around Draco, and of the secrets that she knew he kept. She had known that Draco has wanted her for quite some time, enough to keep a picture of her in his study, and to want her as a prize. And then she couldn't help but think of every time when they had been together, and how he always just seemed to know to touch her in the right place, as if he had done it before.
Dread filled her stomach, but she tried to shake it off. "Draco…Draco would never have done anything to me like that," she said. Now that it was Draco involved, she couldn't even bring herself to outright say his name and the word rape in the same sentence. "I remember when I first got here, I accused him of trying to get me drunk so he could take advantage of me, and you should have seen how angry he got. He wouldn't have reacted like that if he'd done something even worse to me."
"The Malfoys have always been about personal appearance," Snape said. "You wouldn't believe half the things Lucius did, but if he was ever called out on it, he would have reacted just the same way as Draco."
Ginny shook her head. "But that's Lucius--he was a horrible, soulless man. Draco's not like that. Draco wouldn't have-"
Ginny cut herself off. After learning her first year what Lucius Malfoy was capable of, and seeing his bratty son tormenting her family, she had always thought, growing up, that Draco was just a mini-Lucius. And to be raised to be like his father, to hate all Weasleys just as much as his father did, how would Draco react to wanting her? Would he have felt a family betrayal towards his father, someone he always idolized? And would that pain turn into madness as his obsession with her grew, until he was finally given a chance to have her as he pleased and be able to take out all the frustration he was feeling onto her?
It wasn't until Ginny saw Snape nodding did she realize that he was staring into her eyes, and she knew he was reading her mind. "Then you're beginning to see it how I do," Snape said. "When Draco first took you as a prize, everyone thought it would be to torture you--I thought so too at first, even though it didn't explain your constant protection. But all this time, he just wanted you for himself. Imagine him as a young man being told by his father to hate people like you, but all he wanted was you. It went against everything he stood for--everything he made himself out to be. It's enough to turn a man crazy, and make him do horrible things."
Ginny felt weak in the knees--the room seemed to be closing in on her. Just earlier that day, she had slept with a man who might have done something so horrible to her, that he blocked her own memory.
Snape pulled out his wand and pointed it at her head. "Just give me permission, and I'll go into your mind. But we must do it quickly, before Draco comes back."
Ginny opened her mouth, but nothing came out. If Draco was capable of such a thing, did she want to know? Did she truly want to know that the man she has slept with, the man she lives with, raped her? Could she live with herself knowing that such a thing had happened that involved someone that she felt herself starting to grow attached to, to someone that she worried about his safety? If Snape found a memory block, it would change everything between her and Draco. It would take away the one person she had left in the world.
But then Snape's words repeated in her head. "You're lonely and vulnerable, and a few weeks with the man who is responsible for your misery was enough to make you forget who you are and what you stand for."
"Do it," Ginny said.
She stared into Snape's face as he pointed his wand to her temple, and concentrated hard into her eyes. Seconds passed, but they seemed like hours to her. She felt nothing at all, nothing she thought she'd feel for having her memory searched, and was too sick with worry to care about Snape seeing anything personal in her life.
She knew he was done when she watched Snape's face fall, but only for a moment before he regained control. He drew back his wand, and pocketed it as he continued to stare at her.
"Your memory's blocked," he said, "and by the biggest block I've ever seen. Something big happened, and Draco doesn't want you to remember it."
Ginny reached out behind her to grab the fountain before she collapsed onto the edge. She stayed there long after Snape had left, and she had lost all feeling in her body.
~*~
Please review!!
Liz21