Mind the poor editing - I skimmed through it quickly. I figured the faster I got it to you guys, the happier you would be. Comments at the end.
~*~
Chapter Eighteen
Draco and Harry were fighting - again.
Ginny watched along the edge of the corridor with a crowd of Hogwarts students. It was during a sudden break when the professors were having an important meeting, so there was no saying how long the fight would last before it was broken up. Ginny had shown up just as Draco hit Ron in the face with a spell, giving him a bloody, broken nose. She watched her brother a few feet away from Harry, blood on his face and anger in his eyes. Hermione stood next to him, holding his arm and no doubt begging him to stay back and not get involved.
Ginny had no idea who or what started the fight, but all she could do was try to hide in the crowd and hoped to go unnoticed. Ginny watched as Draco and Harry stood in the center, their wands out and their faces ugly with hatred. A few months ago, Ginny would have jumped in and fought alongside Harry, or rushed to her brother to help him. But things have changed - everything was complicated now. Ginny didn't know where she stood, or who she was anymore. It was easier to sink back and hide. Everything was much easier if she didn't have to face the truth.
"Take it back, Potter," Draco hissed. Ginny cringed at the tone of his voice - how different it sounded when he spoke to the people she loved, versus when they were alone.
When Harry hesitated, Ginny knew that he had started the fight. It was easy enough to tell - when Draco started it, he didn't hold back. Harry had more of a conscious though, and no matter how angry he could get, guilt would sink in. But he was also stubborn. Maybe if it were just the two, he would step back. But with his best friend injured and a crowd watching, Ginny knew the only person who could get him to stop was her, and the idea tore her apart. In the beginning, she still stuck to Harry's side and pretended Draco didn't exist. But now she didn't know that if she stopped Harry, if it would be for his benefit or Draco's.
"Why should I, Malfoy?" Harry snapped. "After years of you making fun of my dead parents, why should I?"
Ginny's heart sank. Of course it would be about Lucius. His death was the only time anyone had seen a weakness in Draco. She would never forget the look on Draco's face when he, along with the rest of Hogwarts, found out that his father was killed. Something in him crumbled, and to Harry and Ron, it was an easier way to attack someone who once believed he was unbreakable.
Draco responded to Harry's question by raising his wand and slashing it through the air, sending a red spark at Harry.
Harry easily reflected the spell. "You're getting sloppy, Malfoy," Harry said. "Something on your mind?"
For that moment, Ginny hated Harry. She knew he couldn't always be the bigger person, and that he was human and felt hatred, too. But she had hoped that in the category of dead parents, Harry would feel an ounce of sympathy for someone who just lost one, despite who it was. But what Harry was doing now was one example of many that she had seen since everything changed. In the beginning, Harry was a hero to her - almost godlike who never did wrong. Before, no matter what he did or what he said, she convinced herself he was always right. Though now that she had been to the other side, things looked different. She could see the malice on his face, which made him ugly. She could see how he was far from perfect, and at times very selfish. And Draco … He still had his Malfoy glare and scowl, and every part of him displayed how much he hated Harry. But Ginny could see something else in his face that set him apart - pain.
Students were whispering and scuffling behind her. Ginny turned around and saw Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall walking quickly towards the crowd. Through the rush to move out of the way, a student from behind pushed Ginny forward and she found herself exactly where she didn't want to be - in-between Draco and Harry.
It happened too fast. Just as Ginny was pushed, Draco shot a spell at Harry. In the moment before it hit her chest, she watched as Draco's face turned from hatred, to surprise, to agony. The spell hit her with an overwhelming force, knocking her back several feet into Harry's arms.
In the haze of it all, Ginny saw Ron run across the circle and throw himself at Draco. Sparks shot out above the group, and students scattered as Snape and McGonagall made their way through. It took the two of them to get Ron off Draco, and when he did, Ginny had to stop from crying at the sight of Draco's face.
"How dare you take advantage of us being gone to start a petty fight," McGonagall yelled. "What is going on here?"
There was silence. Ginny had known it was Harry who started the fight; she was certain about that now.
"Malfoy attacked Ginny," Harry answered.
If Ginny wasn't sore from the hit, she would have turned around and stared at Harry in disbelief. Of course, in Harry's eyes, it was an attack. He didn't see - and would never see - the look of sadness on Draco's face when the spell hit Ginny. But what about the other half of the story that involved Harry harassing Draco about his dead father?
McGonagall stared at Ginny on the ground, and then at Draco. "Is this true, Malfoy?"
Ginny tried to avoid eye contact with Draco. She didn't want him to see her in Harry's arms. She looked at Ron, who was glaring a foot away from Draco, and Hermione, who was staring at Draco, and then Ginny and Harry. There were no students left as witnesses to the fight. The stage was set, and it wasn't in Draco's favor.
When Draco didn't answer, Ginny finally looked at him. He was standing, looking down at her and Harry. His right eye was swollen, and his cheek was cut; there was blood in the corner of his mouth and dripping down his nose. But it was his eyes - those gray eyes that Ginny could never get out of her head - that looked to be in the most pain.
"Yes," was all that Draco muttered.
Ginny watched as he was led away by Snape. Ginny tried to protest, not knowing what she would even say, but Harry wouldn't let her move. Despite her telling him she wasn't hurt, she was forced by McGonagall to go to the infirmary, where Madam Pomfrey brought her to an empty bed near her office. The room was nearly empty, except for one bed in the back corner with its curtain hiding the person from view.
"I'm fine, really," Ginny said. "Ron's more hurt than me."
Her brother shrugged, but one look at Ron and Madam Pomfrey had him sit in the bed next to Ginny. She told them she had to go get supplies, and went to her office, muttering something about troublemakers ruining her quiet afternoon.
Harry sat down on Ginny's bed. "Are you okay?" he asked, grasping her hand.
Ginny's immediate reaction was to pull her hand away. It felt wrong for him to touch her, as if he was a foreign object against her skin. Ginny pushed the feeling aside, reminding herself yet again that Harry was her boyfriend, the person she was so supposed to be with - the person she was supposed to want to touch her. But even as she let Harry touch her and forced a smile on her face, she knew she was the worst person in the room.
Ginny nodded. "I'm really fine. Malfoy barely hit me." Even to say his last name felt odd on her lips.
Harry nodded in agreement and took his hand away. "He has been getting sloppy lately. Something big on his mind is distracting him."
Harry looked at Ron and Hermione while he spoke, and all three of them shared a secret glance that Ginny had grown to hate years ago. Ginny had learned to let them go off on their adventures without her, but she had new reasons to be paranoid about what they were stirring up in their minds.
"Do you think something is going on?" Ginny asked. "Something with Lucius' death?"
Before Harry could tell her not to worry about it, footsteps caused the four to jump and look to the back of the room. They froze as Snape left the cocoon of the drapes from the last bed - Ron, Harry, and Hermione from realizing they were overheard, and Ginny from knowing who was in that bed.
The room was quiet as Snape made his way to them. He stopped at the foot of Ginny's bed, and his eyes darted to Madam Pomfrey's office to Harry. "If I were you, Potter," he spoke, his face bitter at saying Harry's name, "I'd watch what I'd say around others more carefully. You have no idea what kind of … trouble you can be creating for yourself."
Harry's face darkened. "Don't worry, sir," Harry said. "I've always been good with handling trouble."
Madam Pomfrey emerged from her office, holding potion bottles and gauze. Snape didn't say another word, but made a point of staring at each Gryffindor before leaving the room. When his eyes met Ginny, she shivered and forced herself to look away. Sometimes, when that man looked at her, Ginny felt he could see into all of her secrets, and that he was searching for one in particular.
Ron was easy enough to heal - just a swish of the wand and a small grunt of pain, and his nose popped back in place. Madam Pomfrey gave him a tissue to clean up the blood while saying that the next time he came in with another stupid injury, she was going to let him heal the Muggle way.
"And what's wrong with you, dear?" Madam Pomfrey said, turning her attention to Ginny.
Harry didn't give her the chance to speak. "Malfoy hit her with a spell," he said. "We don't know what one, but she was pushed over."
When Madam Pomfrey nodded, Ginny saw her eyes dart to the hidden bed. "I'm sure it was a simple defensive spell - just knocks your opponent off their feet. No harm really. Have any odd feelings, Miss Weasley? Any unexplained soreness other than falling on your bum?"
Ginny shook her head. "I feel fine. Really, it was nothing."
"Should she stay overnight?" Ron asked. "I don't trust that weasel Malfoy. He did something to her, I know it."
Madam Pomfrey hesitated. They both knew Ginny was fine, and Ginny was about to tell her that when she paused as well. Madam Pomfrey was still holding onto the gauze, and her eyes continued to dart over to Draco's bed, as if she had more important work to do then entertain a few students. Dread filled her stomach. Just how injured was Draco?
"Ron's right, I should stay," Ginny blurted out before she thought about what she was doing. "I'm just … really tired and a bit sore. I could use the rest."
Ron looked pleased at her cooperation, but Hermione hesitated. Ginny froze when Hermione glanced at the back of the room, but she looked back at Ron and shrugged her shoulders.
"I'm sorry you had to get in the middle of that," Harry said. He grasped her hand again and squeezed it.
Ginny squeezed his hand back. Though she stopped herself from crying as Harry kissed her on the cheek before he left the room with Ron and Hermione, she couldn't stop the shame from spreading through her body.
Madam Pomfrey had her change into a pair of pajamas in the privacy of her curtained bed while she "helped out another patient." Ginny put on the large pajamas, and stuck her wand in the side pocket. When she was done, she opened the curtains and watched Draco's bed for any movement or noise.
When Madam Pomfrey came out, Ginny jumped into bed but the nurse saw her looking. "It's all right, dear," she said. "Your brother did a number on him, but not enough to get in too much trouble. Probably just a few detentions. Now, I'm going down for some dinner. Will you be all right for an hour? I'll bring up yours as well when I'm finished."
Ginny nodded and stayed in her bed for several minutes after Madam Pomfrey left the room, closing the doors behind her. Ginny couldn't move, could barely breathe, until she knew no one was going to open those doors and surprise her. Then, very carefully, she walked barefoot to the end of the room, her small feet making the only noise. She paused at the curtains of Draco's bed and looked over her shoulders once more at the closed doors. She parted the curtains with her hand, walked into the opening, and dropped the curtains that hid her and Draco from the world.
Draco was sleeping. He didn't look as bad as Ginny had built in her mind. His eye was still swollen, though Madam Pomfrey fixed most of the bruising. There was gauze over his cheek where he was cut, and his nose looked to have the same tenderness that Ron's had. Ginny breathed a sigh of relief, and then turned toward the curtains. She told herself that she just had to check to make sure he was okay, and that was it. To be there otherwise was to show that she was in a lot deeper than she had ever planned.
"Wait."
Ginny froze, her hand on the curtain and her back to Draco. She had been caught, but didn't she want that? Didn't she want to be alone with Draco after seeing his face filled with agony when he hit her? It was the biggest sign of emotion he had given her since they first slept together months ago, when he was broken after his father's death. Since then, he played it as a cat and mouse game. He would treat her like the Weasley he hated during school hours when others were around, and sometimes she bought his act so well, she thought he was tired of her. But every night, he still came to her. Every time he wanted to touch her, to hold her. No matter what he said to her during the day, at night it was as if he couldn't get enough of her, that he was under some spell. Some nights they were rough with each other - he would bend her over a teacher's desk and take her, or pin her against a corner in a secret passageway. But though his hands were rough and his thrusts were hard, it was his eyes that held tenderness. He was trying to get her out of his system, but he knew it couldn't be done.
Ginny squeezed the curtain, willing herself to leave and come back at night, when they were supposed to be together. The days were getting harder. In the beginning, she ignored what had happened between them, and played along with his games. At first, it was even exciting; it was rebellious and dangerous and there was a thrill in sneaking around and having a secret. But now, she noticed she was thinking about him more during classes, and it was harder not to look at him during breaks. She was constantly aware of him being near her, of his eyes on her, but as long as the sun was out, Ginny had to play a game. At first, she felt she was lying to herself during the night by being with Draco. But now, she only felt right in the dark, and that the person she was during the day wasn't her anymore.
Ginny let go of the curtain and of any reasoning she had left in her. She turned to Draco, and welcomed the rush of emotion she felt when his eyes met her. All it took was one glance and thoughts and guilt of Harry and her family washed away.
Draco's eyes darted to the curtains. "Madam Pomfrey left for dinner," Ginny answered. "She won't be back for an hour."
"And Potter?"
Ginny looked at the ground. Draco didn't use Harry against her like she thought he would. Before she worried Draco only wanted her as a form of payback to his enemy. But it still stung every time her lover mentioned her boyfriend's name. She didn't need the reminder of what she was doing.
Ginny walked to the side of his bed. "Off plotting something with Ron and Hermione, I'm sure." She stood next to him but made no movement to get closer. "What did he say to you?"
Draco broke eye contact and looked ahead. "The same old stuff - Potter thinking some evil plan is building, and only he can save the day."
"And your father?"
Normally, they wouldn't talk about such serious matters. When it began, they didn't do much of talking at all - they would be together, then Ginny would run off before the regret would settle in. But by time, she would stay longer afterwards, and he would hold her as they talked. And sometimes they wouldn't sleep together at all. That's when Ginny knew she was really in trouble, when it wasn't all about sex.
"That I'm filling the role that he was killed for."
Ginny didn't say anything. Draco's face was tight with emotion, and his blonde hair hung in his eyes. The one thing they never talked about was the war and the events leading up to it. She didn't know if Draco had a part in it, and she didn't want to. Sometimes, ignorance was bliss.
To fill the silence, she sat on the edge of the bed and moved a blonde strand out of his eye. He watched her every move; he was always watching her, and the feeling was intoxicating. When she pulled her hand away, he grabbed and pulled her closer until she was leaning over him, her mouth inches from him.
"I don't want to mourn over him anymore," he said, his voice a whisper off his lips and onto Ginny's. "You're the only one I want to feel for."
Ginny stared at him in silence. It was the closest thing he had said to her that put a label on what they were.
She leaned down to kiss him when she heard a door open. Ginny froze and looked at Draco; both their eyes were wide, and he had lost color from his face. They had been so careful for months. Ginny had let her guard slip - she was weakened when she saw Draco injured, and ignored they were in a public room during the day, where anyone could walk in and discover their secret.
"Ginny?"
It was Hermione's voice. Fear sunk into Ginny so deep, she was too paralyzed to move. She looked around as the footsteps got closer to the bed, but there was nowhere to go. They were trapped in the mistake they made. Ginny looked at Draco. Was this all about to end? She knew that it should never have began - that a Weasley and a Malfoy were not meant to be together, and thus nothing good would ever come from it. If anyone else had walked in on them, Ginny may have been able to trick them - convince them she was finishing what her brother started, or that she was spying for Harry. But Hermione was too smart. Ginny saw her looking at Draco's bed earlier, and how quiet Hermione had been about anything regarding Draco around Ginny lately. Hermione knew something was happening, and that's why she came back. Ginny and Draco were about to be discovered, and no amount of friendship through Hermione would overshadow the loyalty she had towards Harry and Ron. Ginny would be out casted; she would be shown for who she truly was - a liar and a betrayer - and even her mother would look at her as Malfoy's whore.
The footsteps paused. "Ginny?" Hermione asked, hesitantly, before her path towards them continued.
Draco sat up tensely with his eyes on the curtains. Ginny could see Hermione's outline on the other side of the white sheet. Ginny quietly stood up from Draco's side. Despite her own fears, it was Draco she was worried about. She would forever be tainted, but she would still have a home to come to, and food on her plate. But Draco … she didn't want to think about what his mother or friends would do at knowing what he had done with the enemy. She was truly thankful his father was dead. She knew what he would have done at learning his son and only heir was with a Weasley.
The curtains opened to Hermione, who stared at them with a shocked face. No one moved or spoke; Hermione stared at Draco and Ginny in horror, her arm weakening and her wand lowering to the ground.
"Ginny," Hermione finally whispered, shaking her head. "With Malfoy?"
Even though it was hopeless, Ginny spoke. "Hermione, it's not what you think -"
"It's exactly what I think," the curly-haired girl interrupted. "I know you've been acting odd for months - randomly disappearing for hours, and keeping to yourself. You've been growing distant from everyone. You've been growing apart from Harry. Ginny … I thought it was the diary all over again. I thought something horrible was happening, so I started paying more attention to you.
Hermione paused. "And the more I was watching you, Ginny, the more I realized someone else was, too."
The silence between the three was an acknowledgement that there was no backing out of what was being said. Draco did watch Ginny; she realized it herself before anything happened between them. How long would they have lasted before another pair of eyes was involved?
"So what then, Granger?" Draco asked. His eyes narrowed. "You run off and dutifully report everything to Potter and Weasley like a good little Mudblood?"
Ginny cringed at his harsh words. If there was ever a time that Draco had to bite his tongue, it was now. She had never expected Draco to suddenly like her friends, but to cut them down while Ginny was associated with him made everything look worse. How could she prove to Hermione that there was a different side of Draco that only she knew, when Draco showed no sign of it?
Anger filled Hermione's eyes, but she pointed them at Ginny. "How could you?" she asked, her voice saddened. "Have you forgotten what his father did to you with the diary? Did you ignore all the times he's beaten Ron, or harassed Harry? Ginny - he's the enemy. One day he'll be a Death Eater, and it will be his job to kill you."
Ginny shook her head, tears collecting in her eyes. "You don't know that."
"I do know you'll break Harry's heart," Hermione said. "You're the first person he let himself truly love, and all this time you've been sleeping with his enemy. Don't you think he's been through enough? It will break him, Ginny, but he needs to know. He needs to know who you really are."
Hermione backed away, and Ginny knew if she let her leave, it would be over. Everything was at stake - Harry's feelings, Ron's love. Ginny's life would forever change, but Draco's would be ruined. She couldn't change the past and she couldn't correct her mistake, but she could make it go away.
"I'm sorry, Hermione," Ginny said. Before Hermione could react, Ginny pulled her wand out of her pajamas and yelled, "Obliviate!"
~*~
Ginny woke up gasping for air and clutching the blankets to her chest. She wildly looked around the dark room, looking for the hospital beds and Hermione. It took a moment to gather her surroundings and her thoughts when she realized it was all a dream, or rather, another memory.
Her chest was pounding and her head hurt. It had been the most detailed one yet. Sun was pouring through the windows, which meant she had slept for too long, as if she was reliving the memory and playing it out minute by minute.
Ginny paused and sat up, still clutching the blankets to her chest. Every part of her screamed that it was not a memory, but a dream - a nightmare after what happened at Flint's manor the day before. And she could have passed it off as so, or blamed it on the sleeping potion Draco had her take. But Ginny knew that almost every dream she has had since she entered Malfoy Manor had been a glimpse of her past with Draco.
What Ginny couldn't believe was that this memory showed a side of herself that she didn't know existed - she had cursed a loved one for Draco's sake.
Ginny had used the same spell on Hermione that Draco had used on her. What kind of person did that make Ginny? How is it, that after all this time of hating Draco for taking her memories, for thinking of how horrible and cruel he was, that she had once done the same? They had both done it for the same reason - out of protection and love. Neither Ginny nor Draco wanted what they had to end. Somewhere along the way, what started off a teenage lust and rebellion turned into something so fierce, that Ginny was afraid of herself at the moment. She had erased Hermione's memory and killed Flint the night before for Draco. It was clear to Ginny that the love she had for Draco was as unhealthy as his love for her. How could love be a good thing if both people would go as far as killing others to save it?
Ginny's hands relaxed around the blankets. She wondered if she would deny that she loved Draco, now that death didn't look her in the face. But when she never felt the shock or guilt of taking another life, she knew it was because to her, it wasn't wrong. It came down to either Flint or Draco dying, and everything in her body screamed to save the one person she cared most about, no matter the cost. It must have been how people got through the war. Ginny remembered the dazed look on Harry's face after his first kill, but he pushed through and kept fighting. She knew in those situations, you had to dig deep for that one reason that was worth going through hell and back. For Harry, it was to kill Voldemort. For Ginny, it was to save Draco.
All this time, Ginny thought Draco had been the one to make the sacrifices for her. He had murdered, and he had lied. He betrayed his friends and family, and risked his own life. He took her memories to protect her. All these sacrifices tore at Ginny with guilt and confusion. She was stuck between feeling grateful for what he had done, and hating him for the evil and obsession that seeped through him. Ginny had hated him for being her savior, and for relying on him for the truth of what really happened between them. But now she knew that Draco was playing a role in their relationship that she had played as well. His obsession was not one-sided, and neither were his sacrifices.
Ginny knew she loved Draco, before the war and after. But, after everything they had been through to stay together, it was as if fate was against them. They fought, they lied, they killed, all for love, but a victory would never truly happen in the world they lived in. A Malfoy and Weasley were never meant to be together, Ginny thought, no matter how much they fought against it.
Ginny paused over her thought, pondering where she had heard a similar remark before. Then it hit her with a rush of hope as she jumped out of bed, pulled on her robe, and ran into the hallway. There was one person who may be able to help her and Draco's situation, because he had been in the exact one decades ago - Addion Malfoy.
She was careful to be quiet as her bare feet ran down the stairs and turned to the first main hallway on the right in search of Addion's portrait. She didn't know what time it was, or what Draco was doing, but knew she had to keep her plan a secret. Ginny wondered if Draco knew of Addion, a Malfoy who had once, long ago, fallen in love with a Weasley, and that there love ended in death. If Addion was right, and there was a horrible ending waiting for them, she refused to have Draco know it after everything he had done to get them this far. Draco had kept worries and secrets to himself for her sake, and she would do the same.
Ginny continued down the portrait-filled hallway, turning left and right at random in search for the man who looked just like Draco. It seemed ages ago when she came across it in search of Narcissa Malfoy's portrait. But then she was in denial of her feelings about Draco, and didn't take Addion's warning to heart. Now, it rang in her ears with dread.
When she finally found the portrait, Ginny hesitated. Addion was sleeping, his blonde hair still pulled back into a ponytail. It was frightening how much he looked like Draco, only several years older before he met his death because he loved a Weasley. Is this how Draco's life would end? Would he be lucky to live to Addion's age? Now that she stared at the Malfoy, Ginny didn't know if she wanted to hear the truth. Last night, two Death Eaters were murdered and Luna was rescued. How long would it be until the trail traced back to Draco? Shouldn't she just enjoy the little time they had left together instead of desperately finding ways to make it last? But for all she knew, Draco was doing the same as her - fighting against their fate. They hadn't come that far to give up, and she would not put his efforts to waste.
Ginny cleared her throat, causing Addion to stir in his sleep. It took a moment for him to open his eyes and focus on Ginny's own, but she patiently watched as his confusion grew to familiarity.
"Miss Weasley," he said with a nod of his head. It hurt Ginny to hear the love embraced around her surname. "What do I owe to this visit?"
Addion's warning was clear in her head and found its way onto her lips. "You told me before," Ginny said, "that it was forbidden for a Malfoy and a Weasley to be together, or the punishment was death. Who killed you, Addion? Who wouldn't let you and Maitane Weasley be together?"
Sadness filled Addion's face. "I had hoped history would not repeat itself," he said. "You are not here out of curiosity, are you?"
Ginny shook her head. "Addion, I need to know if there's some sort of curse - something actually keeping Malfoys and Weasleys apart. I … I need to know if we can change our fate."
Addion didn't speak for a moment. "There is no need for a curse, Miss Weasley. My father was always a selfish, evil man. He stole Weasley's wealth and started the family feud. But Maitane's father … he changed the day his wife died. He knew that that couldn't afford a doctor for her because of my father stole his money. And with Maitane being his only daughter, he did everything in his power to keep her safe and to ruin the Malfoys. He became crazed over the idea. So when he caught me with Maitane …"
"He killed you," Ginny whispered. "Maitane's father killed you?"
Addion nodded. "A Malfoy stole, but a Weasley murdered. He was put to death, but the hatred continued through his sons, and their sons. My father, so I was told, bore another son at his older age, just to pass on the family feud."
Addion was silent, but Ginny knew there was more to the story. "And Maitane?"
Ginny regretted asking about his love's fate. She could see the despair in Addion's eyes, but knew he would not cry - a Malfoy couldn't cry.
"She took her own life," Addion said. "From this day, I am filled with the guilt of my love for her, that it was too strong to deny. Through my love was her death."
Tears filled Ginny's eyes and fell onto her cheeks. She shook her head. "If she was anything like me," Ginny said, "she wouldn't have regretted it. She would have been thankful to have a love so great, that even death could not stop it."
Addion nodded. "Then that is your answer, Miss Weasley. There is no need for a curse between Malfoys and Weasleys, because it is built into society that such a relationship should never happen. Sides and enemies were made long ago. But if you feel your and Draco's love can conquer death, then only in that will you two win."
Ginny felt her body go numb. She knew there was no answer to her and Draco's path - she didn't even know the question. She wanted to find hope for them, but knew it was pointless. Addion was right. Ginny and Draco could continue to fight each person that crossed their paths, but where there was one, there were five more to take their place. But beyond all those people, there was one person Ginny was terrified of learning how deep Draco's betrayal went - Voldemort. How could they defeat the person who killed Harry?
"Don't worry yourself with the future," Addion spoke softly. "It tore me apart, and in the end I still met my doom. If only I had used that wasted time with Maitane, it would have been worth it."
Ginny nodded, mumbled thanks for, and slowly found her way back to the main staircase. Ignorance was bliss. She would gladly take any physical pain then the mental and emotional hurt she felt at knowing there could never be a happy ending for her and Draco, not while Voldemort and his followers were still alive. And if Harry and all her loved ones had died trying to kill him, her and Draco were hopeless.
A clock chimed noon, and she was suddenly aware that she was standing in the main foyer with only a silk robe on. She crossed her arms over her chest self-consciously and made it up the stairs to her room. She quickly threw on a plain dress and sandles, too anxious to shower. After her talk with Addion, all she wanted to do was see Draco.
Ginny left her room and headed for Draco's study, hoping to find him there. The door was partially closed, and Ginny was about to enter it when a voice stopped her. She studied the door and noticed a green light gleam off the edges - he was talking through Floo Powder.
Draco's voice carried into the hallway. "Yes, Crabbe, I heard the news. Snape owled me earlier. Are there any suspects?"
Ginny froze. It had already reached the Death Eaters that Flint and Pansy were dead. And if someone as low as Crabbe was telling Draco, then that meant everyone knew.
"Well, that Lovegood girl is gone," Crabbe said slowly. "Nowhere to be found. Word is she got Flint's wand and killed the poor bastard. Cuts all over his body."
"Don't be an idiot, Crabbe," Draco hissed. "You remember seeing her at the ball - she was ready to pop. How could a woman that pregnant be able to move quick enough to not only steal the wand, but murder two people who are trained killers?"
Ginny's stomach sank at his words, but she knew Draco was outsmarting Crabbe and everyone else. If he went against the obvious and sourced his own information, he was pushing it further away from him. To agree too quickly with whatever was given to him was signing his own death wish.
There was a pause. "But Millicent said-"
"You tell her what I said," Draco said. "Lovegood can't be far from Flint's. Keep looking."
"But, we already did -"
"Find her," Draco snapped. "And when you do, show that bitch what it means to kill one of us."
As soon as the green light was gone, Ginny walked into the room as Draco turned from the empty fireplace. She must have taken Draco by surprise, because he was a moment too late to cover the exhausted worry in his face.
"They already know?" Ginny asked.
Draco started at her for a moment before he walked over to the bar in the corner of the room and made a drink.
"Of course," Draco said with his back to her. "Are you surprised? We did win the war, after all. Needless to say we're a bit on top of these things."
Something in her turned cold when Draco referred to the enemies as if he belonged to them, as if he didn't realize that he was fighting against them as well. "Then how long until they discover that Luna had no part in it?"
"They won't," Draco said simply as he turned around and took a drink. "Snape has Luna hidden too well, so they can't find her and torture the information out of her. And they have zero reason to believe that we had anything to do with Pansy and Flint. Why would they? Pansy was my childhood friend, and while Flint and I weren't best mates or anything, we respected each other. What could they have possibly done to make me so angry to murder them after all these years?"
It was so odd to hear Draco speak as if he didn't just kill Pansy, or that he had the intent to do the same to Flint. But the worst feeling was that he was right - Draco would have never done such a thing if it weren't for Ginny. If Ginny took herself out of the puzzle, so many things would be different. Draco would be different.
Was he regretting everything he had done for her?
"But Pansy knew everything, Draco. What if -"
"No one else knows," Draco said. He took a bigger drink. "No one else can know."
Ginny paused. "Hermione did," she said.
Draco's hand paused, and his eyes darted to Ginny's. "Another memory?"
Ginny nodded and hugged herself. "I think if it wasn't for what I did to Flint last night, I would have been shocked that I could even do that sort of thing," she said. "But it still hurts. How could I have done that to a friend? How could you? Is that what we did, Draco? Did we just take down everyone in our path, no matter who they were?"
There was silence. Ginny spoke the thought that neither wanted to acknowledge. If it hurt Ginny enough to remember something she did years ago, how would it affect Draco when the acts were still new?
Draco put his drink down and walked towards her. Ginny froze when he approached, but he stopped to sit on the arm of the couch next to her. He looked exhausted.
"Hermione was the first," Draco said. "When you took away her memories, I think you were more shocked over how serious we were instead of what you actually did to your friend. And that's how it's always been, Ginny. It's never been about what we did to whom, but about if we could just have one more day together.
"The second I realized I loved you, Ginny, I knew what I would have to do to keep you. I lied, and I betrayed. I killed my friends, and let my own mother die. I dishonored my father and everything he had worked for to make me into the person I was supposed to be. But I did all of that for you, Ginny, and I refuse to feel guilty about it."
Ginny felt tears in her eyes. After everything she had learned about Draco and what he had done, he had never been so direct about it. "But that doesn't make it right, Draco," she said. "How many people have suffered just so we could be together?" She thought of Addion Malfoy. "We weren't supposed to be together, Draco. There have been so many signs, and so many things in the way. We're fighting against fate."
"I don't believe in fate," Draco said. "We decide our own lives, Ginny, and I decided long ago that you would be in mine, no matter what the cost."
She felt a tear slip from her eye, but didn't wipe it away. "So you don't regret anything?"
Draco was silent as he stood and closed the gap between them. "The only thing I regret," he said, cupping her cheek with his hand, "is that you can't remember loving me. I know it was foolish, but I thought those memories would be strong enough to last."
A tear dropped, and then another. As Draco stood there, wiping them away, Ginny couldn't bring herself to tell him that she did remember; that last night she realized she loved him. That though she wasn't happy with what she had done in her life, she knew she did it for love.
Everything went against them being together, yet there they were - together.
Draco leaned in and kissed her lips so gently, that Ginny cried out. Feelings rushed through her body as he touched her. Everything seemed different now that she loved him. She wondered if this was the difference between having sex and making love - to want to be so wrapped up in a person, to become them.
Draco ended the kiss and leaned back to look at her. Despite her feelings, it was still too new to say them, and he wasn't asking her to. But it was clear that Draco wanted Ginny to show him that all his sacrifices weren't one-sided, and that somewhere in her she wanted him, if not loved him.
She paused long enough to see Draco's face drop a little in defeat. He started to step away when Ginny grabbed his hand. "Don't," was all she got out before she leaned in and kissed him.
It wasn't gentle like his kiss, but it had just as much passion. Ginny sighed when Draco kissed her back and wrapped his hands in her hair. She wondered if there was ever a time they were together when it wasn't confusing.
Draco laid Ginny gently on the couch, never letting go of her lips. Her hands wrapped around his neck as Ginny held him closer to her, wanting to feel every inch of his body against hers. This was love, she thought to herself as Draco kissed her lips, eyelids, and forehead. Love was never getting enough of a person, and always wanting more. Love was doing anything for that person, just to be with them for one more second, for one more kiss.
Draco stopped. Ginny opened her eyes and stared at him above her. His blonde hair dangled over her face, and there was a flush on his pale skin. Ginny ran her fingers through his hair while she stared into his gray eyes. How long had she been in love with those - from the moment she first noticed them on her, or before that? Could she believe that it just took one kiss from Draco to make her love him at Hogwarts, or were they, in fact, meant to be?
Ginny's hand moved from his hair to the back of his head, and pulled Draco down for a kiss. Despite what Draco said, she did believe in fate. She wanted to believe that though everything was hard, that they were meant to be together. She wanted to have faith that they would never be parted, not even through death.
Ginny deepened the kiss, making Draco groan against her lips. It didn't take long to feel his hands on her body, from her neck, to her chest, to pushing up the hem of her dress. She grabbed onto him and pulled him in close, making sure every curve of her body fit into his just so. How is it that after all these years, she could never get enough of him?
Their kisses became urgent as Ginny unbuttoned Draco's shirt. She gasped when he nibbled her ear, whispering how he loved her and all he ever wanted was her. Draco's hand moved down the side of Ginny's body to her thigh, stroking it before moving it so he could settle in closer to her. When Ginny could feel his want against her, she abandoned his shirt and went for his pants, thankful there was no belt in the way.
They were only apart long enough for Draco to free himself from his pants, not bothering to take them off. When Draco lay back on top of her, he kissed her gently before he looked at her. "If you can't remember," he whispered as his hands moved her underwear to the side, stroking her, "just know it was always like this. How can everything be so wrong if this is the only thing that feels right?"
Draco entered her slowly, making Ginny cry out in pleasure from his touch and his words. She wrapped her legs around him, welcoming him to fill her as much as he could. She wanted every part of him, and she never wanted to let go. For too long did she experience life without him, and she didn't think she could do it again.
Sweat built on their foreheads as they panted and moved together. Though each thrust was longer and harder than before, they never stopped kissing. As Ginny's climax built, she held on tighter and more desperately. Flashes of memories erupted in Ginny's brain - when Draco caught her after she fell from her broomstick; their first kiss; their first time together; when she realized she loved him at Hogwarts.
With one more thrust, Ginny was sent over the edge, crying out Draco's name. Draco followed soon after, groaning into the nape of her neck and clutching onto her.
They lay on the couch, clutching each other. Draco was still breathing heavily into her neck, while Ginny stared out in front of her, her brain busy. The more she focused on the feeling of Draco with her, the more she could remember all the times they were together before. It was as if a window opened after she realized she loved him; that she was keeping it closed and she only had to open it to allow a breeze to come through and blow the fog away.
"I remember," she said as the scene unfolded in her eyes, "a night at Hogwarts when we were together." Ginny scrunched her forehead as more details poured in. "Though we weren't supposed to meet. Something was going on with you. You were gone and I was worried …"
Draco moved above her. Ginny felt him readjust her dress so she was covered once more and heard him zipper his pants, but she continued, not wanting to lose the memory.
"It was late when an owl came with a letter from you. It said, `Meet me at midnight in the classroom with the clearest view of the lake. This time I'll send an owl along to let you know I'm near.'" Ginny blinked and looked at Draco, whose eyes were studying her from where he stood. "That was a letter I found in the box hidden in the garden," she said proudly, reaffirming that what was becoming clear was true.
He simply nodded and waited for her to continue.
"So I went there, and I remember being afraid. And when you arrived, you looked so sad. But you said something that upset me." Ginny paused in concentration as the memory slipped away.
"Promise me," Draco said quietly, startling Ginny. "With everything that happens, you'll always be mine. I can't let you be his."
His words clicked in her brain, and Ginny nodded to the missing piece of the puzzle. But as Draco spoke, the hesitation grew. She didn't think it was a memory she wanted to remember.
"I got angry, didn't I? I was upset because you were gone all day with no word, and then I thought you were talking about Harry and how he couldn't have me." Ginny paused as the memory ended with her mad at Draco for him thinking that she would ever be Harry's. But what stood out was that Draco let her get angry, and never corrected her or made his point clear. He let her simply believe Harry was the only problem in their life until he kissed her and made love with her, further distracting her from what really happened.
Ginny sat up. "What did happen that day, Draco? What did you really mean?"
Draco was silent. As he watched her, Ginny noticed the light in his eyes dimmed a little at her recollection. It made her wonder if Draco had hoped that some memories of him would be lost forever.
"It was the day I was called to the Dark Lord and received my mark," Draco said, his voice empty. "I hid it from you, but after awhile you figured it out."
Ginny felt a chill run down her spine. She remembered what it was like seeing the Dark Mark on him for the first time at the manor. To see the mark of death imprinted on someone she loved was never a feeling she could get used to.
"And the person you were talking about?" Ginny whispered, afraid of the truth.
Draco stared at her so forcefully, that she knew he wanted to lie. He wanted to walk away and hide the truth from her a little longer. He wanted to protect her.
Draco's jaw tightened. "The only person we have to fear."
Draco took a step towards her when he suddenly grabbed his arm in pain and doubled over. Ginny screamed as she ran to him, but it was too late. There was only enough time to see the Dark Mark pulse against Draco's arm and the fear in his eyes.
"Ginny," Draco cried out, and with a pop he was gone.
Ginny stared with wide eyes where Draco was only a second ago. He was taken away from her by the only person they had to fear.
Voldemort.
~*~
Hi everyone! Hope you enjoyed this chapter - it was a rather large one, but I think I updated quicker than the past few ones.
There are TWO chapters left, and a possible epilogue (or that's the plan anyways). I hope to have that all done by the summer. I've been working on this for so long!
I have to say, I think I'm more anxious on how this will end than my awesome readers! The idea for this story popped into my head almost four years ago. I don't know if I told you guys this, but when I started writing this, I only had the story planned out as far as Ginny finding out that Draco took her memories away. That was it! If anything that explains why it takes me a bit longer to get these chapters out - I'm still figuring out what happens next!
Though, if I can took my own horn for a minute, I am proud of myself on being sneaky ;) Throughout the story, almost every comment, dream, quote, etc., has been placed for a reason. In this chapter, when Ginny and Draco were discussing the newest memory while they were on the couch:
"It was late when an owl came with a letter from you. It said, `Meet me at midnight in the classroom with the clearest view of the lake. This time I'll send an owl along to let you know I'm near.'" …. "Promise me," Draco said quietly, startling Ginny. "With everything that happens, you'll always be mine. I can't let you be his."
I first mentioned this in Chapter 12 in a dream:
But here she was, sitting on a desk as if waiting for someone. It was dark out, and she was in her old uniform. Ginny played with her Gryffindor tie, missing what she once had. She felt the material of her robe, slightly scratchy from being second-hand, but it felt so real against her fingertips. Even an owl that hooted outside the window made her jump. She hopped off the desk and walked over to a window, where she could see the moonlight reflecting off the lake below. Somewhere she heard a clock chime, and according to it, it was midnight.
"Promise me you'll always be mine." … "Promise me," he continued. "With everything that happens, you'll always be mine." His face turned dark. "I can't let you be his."
And then another reference in Chapter 13:
One of the secret letters laid open next to the photo of herself on the desk. And on both of them were the identical handwriting. Only this time the letter said, "Meet me at midnight in the classroom with the clearest view of the lake. This time I'll send an owl along to let you know I'm near."
I think it's neat, ha. That's one of many, many examples, but one of the few that are tied up, case closed (which is why I'm sharing it!).
Thanks SO much for everyone's encouraging words and amazing patience. I will say this: If I'm slower on getting out these last chapters, it's only because they have to be perfect. It's not just a matter of making sure all your questions are answered, and that every loop hole is closed, but to make it worth the long wait!
Lots of love,
Liz21
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