This chapter is unedited and a few pages shorter than usual, but I figured IÕd get out what I can now. IÕm graduation in less than two weeks and have tons of projects to do (and try to find that thing called a job) so sorry if itÕs a bit messy. Have fun!
OK, for some reason when I upload this, weird characters replace apostrophes and such. Sorry for the inconvenience-I have no idea why its doing it, but its still readable. So please just ignore it and bask in DracoÕs awesomeness.
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Chapter Fourteen
The moment the memory ended, Ginny felt herself being pulled out the memory, and before she could even blink, she was standing in DracoÕs study. And just like Draco promised, he was standing there, waiting for her.
She was looking at him without really seeing him. His face was tense in wait for her reaction. She remembered how he said she wasnÕt supposed to find out this way of why she was in Malfoy Manor, and wondered on how he was planning on telling her that they were É lovers?
She felt herself pale at the thought, at what she had just seen, and Draco must have seen it in her face because he stepped forward as she felt herself sway, but she caught herself on the piensive and snapped, ÒDonÕt you come near me.Ó
Draco froze mid-step, with his hand reaching out to her. The look on his face was the same as in the memory of when he took away her memory: full of hurt and sadness, guilt and uncertainty. All feelings that she never knew he could feel.
But it had to be all an act, she thought. It was all made up, every bit of it, just to torture her. He had said he wanted to make her miserable, and he was doing it by taking her sanity.
Ginny shook her head at him. ÒItÕs not real,Ó she said. ÒYouÕre sick, Malfoy.Ó
DracoÕs face fell as did his hand; he looked defeated. ÒGinny-Ó
ÒDonÕt call me that!Ó she yelled, near hysteria. She clutched on tightly to the bowl, feeling her breath shorten. When he said her name like that, all she could think of was how he said ÒI love you, GinnyÓ in what he had shown her. Ginny shook her head, feeling herself loosing a grip on herself. ÒYou made it all up just to get to me.Ó
Draco stared at her. ÒYou know as well as I do that you canÕt make up memories,Ó he said, his voice a forced calm.
But Ginny kept on shaking her head. Tears started to cloud her vision. She tried to tell herself that it wasnÕt real, that Draco was lying, but the more she tried to figure a way around it, the more her head hurt and her body trembled. And the more things made sense. Like how Draco happened to know her favorite Muggle card game, and what kind of clothes she wore to bed. Or how her favorite food was always at meals, and he knew exactly where to touch her to please her. Or now that she had seen the pain in his face in the memory, she could look back and remember hints of that expression ever since she was forced to come to the manor.
Her headache eased as more proof came into mind, but her body wouldnÕt stop shaking. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didnÕt realize Draco had moved until he was inches away from her.
ÒDonÕt force it away,Ó Draco said. ÒPeople have gone mad from denial.Ó
For a moment, Ginny welcomed insanity over the truth of her being with Draco before she was a prisoner, but when she looked into his eyes and saw the sadness he felt at that moment, at knowing what he had shown her and seeing her react to it, all she could do was cry.
Ginny let out a loud sob as she let go of the bowl and sank to her knees. Draco caught her, but led her to the floor where he knelt next to her and watched her cry. Unable to look at him, Ginny rested her head on her knees and wept at knowing that somehow she had been with him during the war, when her family was still alive, and she betrayed them all. That the night her family died, she had left them to have a secret affair with their enemy. And that doing so had probably killed them.
She didnÕt know how long she cried for, but when she looked up, Draco was still there, kneeling next to her, with an anxious face. What was she to say to a man who she couldnÕt remember loving her?
ÒWhen?Ó Ginny asked, her voice shaking. ÒWhen did it start?Ó
Draco ran a hand through his hair and let out a breath. ÒFor you, the beginning of your sixth year,Ó he said. ÒYou had been out flying one night, and I was there, watching you. IÕve been doing it since the end of my fifth year-I didnÕt really understand why. I just couldnÕt get you out of my head. I thought it was out of hate, so I was teasing you while flying, and you overshot yourself and fell off your broomstick. And when I saved youÉI donÔt really know. Just after that one night, something happened between us.Ó
As Draco talked, Ginny recalled a dream she had in the library when she first arrived at the manor, of her flying at the quidditch field at Hogwarts, and of someone flying around her. And then she was falling and screamingÉ
Ginny shook her head at home. ÒBut I dreamt that-Ó
ÒPieces of memories were bound to come back,Ó he said, Òespecially since you were around me.Ó
When she didnÕt respond, Draco continued. ÒFor the rest of the school year we snuck around school, meeting each other.Ó He nodded his head to his desk, where the box of secrets were. ÒWe wrote notes saying where to meet, and disguised the handwriting in case they were found.Ó
GinnyÕs mouth dropped open at the sight of the box. ÒBut those are NarcissaÕs,Ó she said. ÒI found them buried underneath-Ó
ÒThe daisies,Ó Draco said. ÒYour favorite flower.Ó
Ginny looked at him, startled. ÒHow did you-Ó
When Draco gave her a small smile, it almost startled her. Never had she seen, or remembered, him so happy, as if all the weight was lifted off his shoulders. ÒBecause I always snuck you them just to piss Potter off.Ó
As soon as Draco said HarryÕs name, she knew he immediately regretted it. His smile dropped and he reached for her hands, but she pulled them away. ÒHarry,Ó she said. ÒI couldnÕt have done that to Harry.Ó She shook her head again, feeling the tears build up again. ÒNo, thereÕs no way I could betray him like that-he hated you.Ó
This time, Draco was shaking his head. ÒYou told me yourself you never loved him,Ó he said. ÒAnd knowing that truth was the only reason why you could ever be with me. For weeks I sought you out but you resisted. You kept on going back to Harry, you were always making sure you were near him when I was around, as if to make a point that you and I would never happen in a million years. Except you and I both knew that you couldnÕt lie to yourself forever.Ó
ÒI know I never loved him like that,Ó Ginny said, almost yelling and crying at the same time. ÒBut that doesnÕt mean that I would just go to the person he hated most. I still loved him as a brother, and the last thing I would want to do was hurt him.Ó
ÒExcept you were hurting yourself by staying with him,Ó Draco said. His tone was past the calmness and the need to make her understand. It had the tone of agitation, like they had this talk a thousand times. For all Ginny knew, they probably did. ÒAnd you were never okay with being with me. You hated the secrets, but you hated the truth. You loved your family, but you loved me, too.Ó
Ginny froze at his words. ÒI-I what?Ó
Her quiet voice seemed to calm Draco. He paused and took a breath. ÒYou loved me, Ginny,Ó he whispered. ÒOnly love could have gotten us to the point where we are today. CanÕt you see that after everything, after I took your memories, that you still came back to me?Ó
Ginny started to cry at the tenderness of his voice, and didnÕt pull her hands away when he grabbed them. Somehow, she knew he was hurting more than she was.
ÒThen why did you do it?Ó she said. ÒIf, like you said, we had been taking risks for years, why would you curse me and take it all away just for me to come back?Ó
Ginny knew this was the part where Draco did not want to go into detail. He let go of her hands and stood up and walked over to his desk. He grabbed the picture of her, which Ginny just somehow knew was meant to be a gift to him. Ginny too stood as he stared at the frame, but she stayed still.
ÒIt was out of desperation,Ó he said, not looking at her. ÒFor months we were stretching it thin-we were almost caught several times, and the worse the war got, the riskier it was for the two of us.Ó Draco looked up at her. ÒIt was because of us my mother died.Ó
GinnyÕs eyes widened, but she didnÕt understand. ÒBut she told me that you werenÕt on duty, and she covered for you. ThatÕs why-Ó
ÒI was sent to spy on you,Ó Draco said, setting down the frame. ÒI was ordered to track you down, get information, and then kill you.Ó
GinnyÕs whole body froze as she had the faintest memory of walking quickly in a busy city, repeatedly looking over her shoulder at someone with their hood up who kept on following herÉ
ÒYou were in London,Ó he said. ÒI tracked you down in case anyone was watching, and then cornered you in an alley where it was private so you knew it was me. But when I didnÕt report back, the Dark Lord grew furious. To capture and kill PotterÕs girlfriend was our top plan at the moment, and anyone who failed to do so was killed.Ó Draco paused. ÒThe Dark Lord asked me to do it only because he knew how much I hated the Weasleys, and that I was guaranteed to succeed.Ó
If what Draco was saying was true, and if he did love her, she couldnÕt imagine what was going on through his mind when he was ordered to kill her, and then risk his own life knowing what would happen if he didnÕt follow through.
ÒBut your mother-Ó
ÒShe didnÕt know about us,Ó he said. He looked back at the frame. ÒShe had only thought that I failed, and told the Dark Lord that she took over the operation.Ó Draco thumbed the edge of the frame. ÒShe died to save me.Ó
Tears strolled down GinnyÕs face as she watched him. What Narcissa said was true-Draco felt guilt over his motherÕs death, and blamed it on himself. That was why he never saw her portrait.
ÒDespite all the death the war brought, I didnÕt really realize what situation we were in until she died,Ó he said. ÒTo think that could have been you made me realize I had to do something to ensure your safety, even after the war was over.Ó
Draco stepped away from his desk and walked back to her, but ignored her tears. ÒThe Dark Lord didnÕt try again to go after you after he killed Mother. At this point we were winning, but couldnÕt afford to risk losing anyone else. Time passed and there was silence-there were petty deaths and fights, and for awhile I was na•ve and thought you would be safe. But then I heard the plan for your familyÕs death.Ó
Ginny had been waiting for this moment in truth, but still her body shook and anger overcame her once more. ÒIf you loved me like you say you do, why didnÕt you save my whole family, and not just me?Ó Ginny asked. ÒWhy didnÕt you warn me of what was to happen so I had time to at least hide them and-Ó
ÒDonÕt you think I thought of that?Ó Draco said, his cheeks pink. ÒDonÕt you think that I knew how much it would kill you to lose them? Or that knowing one day the truth of this would come out, and that I would risk you hating me forever, knowing that I sent your family to their death as I slept with you?Ó
Ginny was at a loss for words. ÒThen why did youÉÓ
ÒBecause I would rather have you despise me for the rest of your life than losing you forever,Ó he said. ÒI only found out about the plan moments before it happened-just enough time to get you away from the house. If I didnÕt, Ginny, you would have died, and I would have been as good as dead.Ó
Ginny stared at him. First he tells her he loves her, then says they were lovers before the war, and now he saved her life how many times? But it still didnÕt make sense. ÒWhy didnÕt you just write in the letter to get my family to safety? I had enough time to argue with my parents about going to Diagon Alley and made it out safely. There would have been time to explain and-Ó
Draco simply shook his head. ÒAnd say what? How would you have explained to them how you knew something was going to happen? What if there was confusion, and they wanted to know facts, or what if you let it slip that you heard from me? That would have been more questions, and more precious time.Ó
Ginny wanted to argue with him, but the creeping realization hit her. Even if Draco did warn her, how could she have explained to her whole family that they were to be attacked when she had no proof or evidence. It was not to say her family wouldnÕt believe her, but would ask too many questions, or try to convince her that she was just worried, and they were perfectly safe where they were. There would be her mother worrying she had a fever or was sick from worry, and her father reminding her of all the charms that was put on the house. And then Fred and George would tease her to try to take her mind off of it, and Percy would start saying the house was protected by the ministry, and it never failed. And Bill and Charlie would be trying to continue with dinner as if nothing happened, and Ron É
ÒRon would have believed me,Ó she said faintly, staring off into the distance. ÒHe always did take me more seriously than everyone else.Ó
When Ginny felt something touch her cheek, she jumped. She was so lost in thought, she didnÕt see Draco move up close enough to her to put his palm on the side of her cheek. She looked up into his eyes and knew that everything she was thinking, the what ifs and possibilities, had all gone through his head at one point-maybe hundreds of times. His eyes looked haunted, as if he lay awake at night, wondering what he could have done different to save her. That no matter what she said, things were already done, and there was no changing the past.
Draco thumbed away fresh tears off her face. ÒI knew the only way I could save you is if you forgot everything,Ó he said quietly. ÒNo matter what I could have done, your family met their fate. There were no more chances for them, but there was for you. I took every memory you had of our relationship, because you having only hate for me was a greater chance of the Dark Lord believing that I would want you as a prize to torture. IÕve been trained to keep my memories away from him, but if he looked into yours and saw us together, we both would have been killed.Ó
Ginny wanted to say she felt faint at the overload of information, but when Draco held her close like that, and confessed to her what he sacrificed for love, she knew deep down that was it. But before this all, when she was in his room and plotting against him, she knew him in an entirely different way. How did she knew that what he was saying was true?
Draco must have noticed the doubt in her eyes, because he stepped away from her and towards the desk. ÒIf you want more proof, I have it,Ó he said as he tapped his wand against the other locked drawer. He pulled out a large box, and when he opened it, Ginny almost gasped. In there were hundreds of tiny bottles with her initials on them.
He looked up at her. ÒHereÕs all of my memories of you. I started saving them once you were brought her as a prisoner, waiting for the day that you were ready to find everything out.Ó
Ginny shook her head as she stared at the bottles. It looked like years worth of memories. She wanted to tell him that there would have been no right time to prepare her for something like this, but the more she thought about what he was telling and showing her, pieces of the puzzle started to fit. Of the many times he was patient to her, or did good deeds like give her a picture of her family, he was waiting for her to fall back in love with him. Maybe he was never going to show her the memories; maybe he was just waiting to form new ones with her.
And how would she react if she watched all his memories É her memories? Would her mind snap at the overhaul of information that still seemed so impossible? Would she start remembering things on her own accord? She was already having dreams of what Draco says actually happened. What if she just let things take its course, and have the truth display itself? But then she looked at Draco, and tried to figure out how she was now supposed to live with a man who loved her, and whom she had no remembrance of loving back.
Before Ginny could decide anything, Draco closed the box and put it back in the drawers. ÒYouÕve had enough for one day,Ó he said. ÒI think we both need some sleep.Ó
Ginny wanted to argue, but a sudden mental exhaustion came over her that she had been pushing away. She simply nodded and followed him out of the room. She continued to walk down the hall towards her room, not wanting to stall with Draco, and not until she shut her bedroom door and take off her dress did she remember that Draco still had her wand.
She crawled into bed, not caring that she was still wearing the underwear she used to seduce Draco with. The moment her head hit the pillows, she fell asleep.
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Ginny knew she was dreaming once she appeared in HogwartÕs halls, but the dim awareness quickly faded the more she walked down the long hall. It was night out, and according the chime of a clock it was past curfew, but still she walked. She had to go somewhere quickly-she was already a few minutes late.
After checking to make sure no one was following, Ginny slipped into a classroom and shut the door behind her. The room was all but empty except for one person leaning against the teacherÕs desk.
Ginny broke into a smile to see Draco looking like he had all the time in the world. For a minute they simply stared at each other. She took in his blonde hair-he left it ungelled today at her request, and it hung in front of his eyes. His Slytherin tie was loosened around his neck, and his sleeves were rolled up. And he stared at her with such lust in his eyes, she almost melted.
ÒYouÕre late,Ó he said as she walked over to him.
Ginny nodded as she shrugged off her school robe-it was stuffy in the room. ÒRon, Hermione, and Harry were hanging out by the fireplace,Ó she said. ÒI had to wait until they went to bed.Ó
She saw DracoÕs face tighten at her friendsÕ names like he always did, but he bit his tongue off from any insults. ÒDidnÕt Potter notice you?Ó
Ginny let out a small smile. ÒYou know he never does when heÕs with those two.
Draco gave her a smirk. ÒI always knew he was an idiot,Ó he said before he grabbed her and kissed her hard.
Ginny gave a small moan of surprise at his sudden move, than quickly melted into the kiss. Her arms immediately wrapped around his neck and held on tight, pushing her self as close as possible to him. She wanted to smell him, to touch him. She wanted him inside of her, and for it to never end.
Draco must have felt the same urgency that she felt, because he quickly picked her up and set her on the edge of the desk behind him, the whole time kissing her so fast she was unable to breathe, but she loved it that way. When Draco started to undo his pants, Ginny let go of his neck and sank her hands into his hair and pulled it.
Draco let out a loud groan and quickened his pace and undoing his pants. Once the buckle was undo, he freed a hand and pushed it under her skirt to not doubt take off her underwear, only that she wasnÕt wearing any.
DracoÕs eyes widened at the feeling of her already wet for him, and as his other hand freed him of his boxers, he delved his fingers into her, making Ginny arch her back into him. She held on tight to his shoulders, and then his tie, as she rode an orgasm as he played with her. She was just coming down from it when he took his hand out of her only to thrust himself in deeply.
The both groaned at the contact, but there was no pausing. Draco frantically pushed in and out of her, so hard that Ginny had to wrap her legs around him to keep from falling over. Her hands pushed herself off the desk as she came again from Draco, her own climax pushing Draco to his own, both of them ending in moans and sweat.
Unable to hold her shaky body up any longer, Ginny leaned onto Draco as he picked her up and laid her down on the floor which he covered with his school robe. His own limbs were shaking as he lay next to her, but he still held her close to him as they both caught their breath.
ÒDraco?Ó Ginny said as her breathing slowed down.
ÒHmm?Ó he said, with his eyes closed. She knew he would want to sleep, but there was no more time to waste.
ÒI É I think IÕm falling in love with you.Ó
DracoÕs eyes bolted open and his head turned towards her. When his shocked face showed no other reply, Ginny felt the need to explain. ÒIt wasnÕt on purpose,Ó she said quickly. ÒA Weasley loving a Malfoy is not supposed to happen-ever. But all I know is for the past nine months of us doing this, I still canÕt get enough of you. I mean, IÕve been lying to everyone I love, risking everything, but all I know is the thing I dread most is when I have to leave you every night.Ó
At this point she was crying. She was terrified at the look on his face, and regretted saying anything. She had talked herself out of saying so many things for the past few months, worried that if it was more than sex, she would lose him forever. But she couldnÕt hold it in anymore.
When he still didnÕt reply, she was about to sit up and leave, knowing he no longer wanted her, when he suddenly kissed her. It was short, but when he pulled back and looked into her eyes, she had never seen him happier.
ÒWeÕll make it work,Ó Draco said. ÒI promise you, Ginny, that I will never stop loving you.Ó
Tears rolled down her face as she smiled and brought him in for another kiss, and this time when he took her on the floor, it was slow and sweet.
When Ginny woke up in her bed, she was more surprised at the tears that were on her face then of the dream-no, the memory-she just had. Was that how it really was? After feeling that aching love, was that how Ginny had really felt about Draco? That knowing she couldnÕt go another minute without him, and that he loved her enough to literally do anything for her?
She knew no matter how long she sat in her bed thinking, she would never fully know the answers. Instead, she got out of her bed, and walked out of her room without bothering to grab a robe. She didnÕt knock on DracoÕs door, and when she opened it, she saw that he was asleep.
Before she could talk herself out of it, she shut the door behind her and climbed into bed next to Draco. She had just settled in when she looked over at him and realized that his eyes were open and he was awake. There was only silence as Draco put his arm over her and pulled her body into the curve of his, and neither said a word as they fell asleep.
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This is not the end. There are still several chapters to come.
Hope you enjoyed, and please review!