Disclaimer: Nope I don't own Harry Potter. Which is a shame, because it'd have gone Harmony if I did…
A/N: An idea I had just after reading DH to make right things after the crapilogue. Hope you'll like the story, and please if you read, review, thanks.
After The Night, Sun Shines
Chapter Five: Hurting
Teddy Lupin had never seen his godfather this helpless. He had always looked up to Harry, seeing him stand strong and be a valuable Auror, till the moment he could join him on the job. Now, he had attended his first important field mission, and he had to witness Harry break down like that.
It was understandable, though. He had just lost his wife and the man he considered his brother, in the time of few minutes. He had almost lost his baby girl, too. Speaking of which, since Harry was too wrapped up in his tears, Teddy walked to the little girl, freed her from the chains, and took her in his arms.
He had seen her grow, and couldn't imagine what she was going through now, having seen her mother and uncle being killed. She still called them, although they could not respond, with tears in her eyes.
Teddy kissed her forehead, and waited for Harry to recollect himself before bringing her to him.
As if on cue, Harry stood up, after having spent the last five minutes crying freely, and wiped the tears away. He stood with his back to Teddy and Lily, and breathed steadily to calm down. Then, he turned, and took his little girl in his own arms, with a nod to Teddy, who smiled sadly.
"Daddy…why isn't Mummy waking up?" the girl asked, wrapping her still somewhat tiny arms around his neck.
Harry sighed. Straight to the point, she went.
"Munchkin, your Mummy is not waking up. She's dead, Lily, and I'm so sorry for that" Harry said, reasoning the truth would be the best thing to tell her.
The girl started crying freely, and Harry did his best to try and calm her down, but she would stop.
"Harry, you go. We're going to take care of these scumbags here" one of his fellow Aurors said, and he nodded his thanks, then Disapparated to his home. Once there, he proceeded to make some hot chocolate for Lily, who was calming down a bit.
He stayed there with her, trying to soothe her. He had to be strong, he could and would not break down in front of the kid, even if his own heart menaced to physically break for the hurt he was going through.
He then set Lily down on her bed to let her rest, and read to her. She always got sleepy when he did, and she had had so much emotions that day she was bound to be exhausted.
Once she was asleep, Harry sighed, and owled Hermione to come to see him immediately, then he cast a Mufflatio spell on Lily's room.
She just knew something was terribly wrong when she received the quickly scribbled note with Harry's handwriting. The brown haired witch grabbed her purse and left in an haste, addressing her assistant on her way out that she would probably not be back that day.
Minutes later, Harry saw her coming out of the fireplace in his living room.
She knew she had been right as soon as her eyes took in his face. It was a ghostly white, his hair more unkempt that usual, and his green eyes were completely hollow. However, as he saw her, he attempted an half smile.
"They are gone" he simply said.
"Who?" she asked, frantically. He didn't respond.
"Harry, who's gone?" she asked again, lightly shaking him up.
"Ginny…and Ron…" he whispered, as if not saying it loudly made it less real, less painful.
Saying Hermione was shocked was the understatement of the century. "Ginny…Ron…dead?" she stupidly said, as she felt tears start to prickle at her eyes.
Harry just nodded.
"What about Lily?" Hermione managed to ask, her voice cracking.
"She's safe, thanks to Ron. He jumped in front of her to save her from the Killing Curse. It was very brave of him" Harry said, remembering the last action of his best friend. He could never be thankful enough to the redheaded man for saving his daughter's life, and Ron would never know. He had no means to communicate with him now.
This set Harry crying again, and Hermione let her own pain for losing her husband take the best of her.
They sat there, on the couch, hugging each other, the pain so raw that both had never felt anything like that in their lives, and yet the mere presence of the other made this all more bearable.
"It's all my fault" Harry whispered, but Hermione took his face in her hands, tears running on her cheeks as well as on his.
"No, Harry. It's theirs. It's not your fault, you couldn't have guessed they would strike so soon and so hard" Hermione tried to reassure him.
He nodded his understanding, and although part of him would always feel guilty, he knew in the depths of his heart that she was right. He touched her face softly, brushing away the tears, and then pulled her close.
"I'm so sorry Hermione" he whispered into her hair. "But you know I'll help you no matter what with the kids, right?" he added then. He felt he had to, he couldn't leave her go through this alone.
"I know" she said, and the hint of a smile came to her lips. "You'd never leave me alone through this, nor would I. We will need to support each other, Harry, and be strong for the kids"
He nodded, and released her from the embrace. "You should go and tell Hugo" he suggested, and she nodded. Then she stood up, and left to go fetch her son from the Burrow. In the meantime Harry sent a letter to Molly to let her know her son and daughter were dead, and apologizing for not being able to protect them.
It was mere minutes later that he found his living room filled with Molly, Hermione and Hugo. He didn't' expect his friend to come back, but truthfully he was glad she did. As for his mother-in-law, he stood in front of her and then for once it was him who enveloped her in an hug, while the older woman cried her eyes out.
"Ron…Ginny…" she kept repeating, while Hermione took Hugo in another room to talk with him.
"Molly, if I only I could have them come back…" Harry said, trying to comfort the woman.
"Oh, no, Harry, it's not your fault" she reassured him. "It's just so sudden, it's a shock" she continued. Then she repeated the offer she ahd said Hermione once the younger woman had arrived at the Burrow.
"You sure you don't want to come and stay at the Burrow tonight?"
Harry shook his head. "No, thanks, Molly. I think me and Lily should getting used to live here on our own" he said, while warming the water for some tea. He placed a cup in front of Molly, and one for himself. Then, he filled them with the hot liquid, and both sat silently, sipping it and lost in their thoughts.
Hermione was back just moments later, as she had tucked Hugo in, giving him a Sleeping Draught so that the news of his dad's death would not cause him nightmares. Lily was still out too, she checked on the girl, but it was clear all the emotions of the day had worn her out completely.
She sat at the table with the other two, pouring some tea for herself. No one spoke, and the atmosphere was very grim.
"What about the bodies?" Molly suddenly asked.
"I guess the Aurors have taken them back with the other dead bodies" Harry said. "It's part of the duties to bring back the bodies of those of us who fell, if it is possible, so that they can be given back to their families"
Molly nodded her understanding. "When are you going to tell the other kids?" she asked then, to both of them.
Harry and Hermione looked at each other and they silently agreed. "I think we better go tomorrow and tell them at Hogwarts. Then we will probably bring them home for some days so that they can attend the funerals" Harry said, knowing Hermione would have suggested the same.
As the older woman nodded her approval, and then left, the two of them were left alone in the kitchen.
"Well, I guess you'll want to bring Hugo home now" he said, starting to take out pans to fix himself a quick dinner. He wasn't that hungry anyhow.
"Actually, I think it's better if we stay here" Hermione said, and Harry turned, surprised.
"Oh, please, don't be so surprised Harry!" she glared at him, but hen her gaze immediately softened. "I just think it's better if we all go through this together. At first, at least."
Harry nodded, and added one more plate to the table. "Omelette is fine for you?" he asked, and she agreed, then moved to help him.
After dinner, they chatted quietly. No one was in the mood for laughter, or smiles, but they wanted to keep each other's mind off the tragic events that had struck them. As they were on the couch talking, Hermione yawned, and started to doze off. She automatically snuggled into Harry, and he assumed it was an habit she had developed in her married life with Ron.
As she was completely asleep, Harry sighed and lifted her, then carried her to the guest room. He placed her on the bed there, and then went to his own bedroom. Changing into his night clothes, he then slipped under the sheets, and an immediate feeling of emptiness hit him. The bed seemed way too large to be sleeping there alone, and he was hit with a wave of memories about all the mornings he had woken up with Ginny in his arms.
Closing his eyes, he could picture perfectly her flaming red hair, her brown eyes, her smile…and he felt his heart break knowing he was not going to see her again. Ever.
Snapping his eyes shut, as to prevent the tears to spill, he willed himself to sleep, taking deep breaths.
In the guest room, Hermione was thrashing and turning, as she was by now not used anymore to sleep alone. She missed Ron, his warmth, his arms pulling her close like he did every night, and so her sleep was all but restful.
She had nightmares of green lights flying toward her husband, and her being forced to watch, unable to help him, to save him.
She woke up with a start, murmuring his name. Her forehead was sweaty, and she just knew she needed to have something to drink or she would never go to sleep again. Reaching the kitchen, she was curious as the light was on there. Harry was at the table, sipping a glass of pumpkin juice, although she could see a bottle of Firewhiskey on the table too.
"Couldn't sleep. Had nightmares of Ginny" he said anticipating her question. He knew she wouldn't think less of him because he was hurting or because he had those nightmares, it was one of the things he had learned to cherish about her, he could confide her anything and she would never think less of him.
When her gaze moved to the Ogden's bottle, he shook his head smiling.
"I wanted to, but then decided against it" he explained. She moved toward him, sitting, and pouring herself some juice too.
"Wise decision" she agreed, smiling. "I couldn't sleep too. Kept having nightmares of Ron"
Harry felt his chest tighten. He hated to see her hurt, and when he examined her face attentively, he could see the stains of dried tears on her cheeks. Even if he knew it wasn't his fault, he couldn't help it, he felt terrible for putting her through so much pain.
Hermione must have sensed it, because she stood up and walked to him. Then, she wrapped her arms around him and looked at him in the eyes. "You've nothing to feel responsible for. You didn't force him to come, if someone's responsible, it's me who suggested it"
He shook his head. "No, you sure enough are not at fault here. I would have asked him anyhow"
"And you know he would have come even if you didn't want him to, once he knew what had happened" she reasoned, still holding him close. He nodded.
As he did so, he got an idea, but was afraid of telling it to her. It may seem inappropriate to have them sleep in the same bed, even if out of hurt and only as friends who wanted to be supportive of the other through hard times. So he never suggested it.
Instead, he kissed her on top of her head.
"We better go back to sleep now. We have a big day ahead of us" he said softly.
"You're right" she smiled sadly. "Good night, Harry" she addressed him with a kiss on the cheek after she finished her juice, and retreated to her room. He watched her go and soon followed suit.
Their little chat reinforced the feeling that they were not alone in this, and once again, after years where it seemed to have just slightly lessened, Harry felt that strong bond he had always had with her, the one that made so many jealous of their friendship, coming back in its full force.
With that feeling, both slept peacefully, nightmares not disturbing them anymore, so that they could rest a bit before another difficult day arrived. They knew that together, the two of them could face anything.
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