Chapter XI: let the fun & games commence
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Departing day
Train station:
"Oy, Lily! Get your scrawny ass over here you bloody tart!" Remus yelled across the platform in a desperate attempt to get her attention from where she was talking to Charlie. Lily looked at him, silently daring him to continue, before quickly excusing herself, waving goodbye to Charlie.
"Tart, eh?" she asked as she walked towards him.
"Well look at you there, all flirty with the Ravenclaw's star keeper," he smirked at her.
"You prick, we're just friends, I'm not some slag, you know" Lily screamed as she hit him upside the head.
"Okay, okay, I give up, you're not a slag! Truce?"
Lily just cocked an eyebrow at him in response.
Remus understood the meeting of it, only muttering, "I'll just shut up now."
"Good idea," Lily told him.
"Morning," James greeted them as he and Sirius walked up to the pair.
"You are just way too chipper in the morning," Lily told him in awe.
"I take it you haven't had your pick me up yet," James noted.
"No, I haven't had any coffee yet," Lily pouted.
"Wait, so you're not really mad at me, it's just withdrawal symptoms?" Remus asked her.
"No, I am mad at you, withdrawal or not, now shush you."
"She's so nice to her host."
James laughed at the two's banter, "hey, where's Carter? Aren't you two practically attached by the hip?" James asked.
"But James, you forgot about the times when he is attached to his latest flavor's lips. That's a show that I just don't want to see," Lily said, referring to Carter's notorious playboy antics with his "flavors of the week."
"How could I forget, forgive me for my stupidity," he joked as they took their seats. Luckily for him, Lily remained ignorant to his flirtatious demeanor.
"So Lily, are you excited about vacation?" Sirius asked her in a desperate attempt to join in on the conversation.
"Well Remus claims that I will have the time of my life, so the bar is set, now all that's left is to see if it meets my expectations."
"Wow Lils, glad to see that you don't have any doubts about it," Remus commented sarcastically.
"Well my bar is very high," she teased him.
"But you are in my presence, what isn't amazing about that?"
"I can't believe it!" Lily cried. "James, you corrupted him! This just sucks, now he rivals you in the arrogance department with that last comment. I think I'm going to go to a corner and cry now, I don't know how much ego I can take. Your big heads might make it impossible to breathe in here, much less so actually fit into this tiny compartment."
"Oh come on Lils, look at this face. Isn't this the epitome of the face of innocence?" James asked her with an innocent smile.
In response however, Lily merely muttered: "bloody wanker."
Sirius observed the two, leaning closer to Remus and whispering, "they have more chemistry then I thought that they did."
"Such true words," Remus responded.
The rest of the ride was not nearly as eventful. However, Lily and James' bickering (or teasing) still managed to keep Sirius and Remus sufficiently amused throughout the entire ride.
--
Chez Remus:
"Home sweet home," Remus said as they walked up to a Victorian style house. "Okay, there are four guest rooms so Lily, you get first pick. Then you guys can take whatever you want as long as Lily hasn't claimed it."
"Hey, how come Lily gets first pick?" Sirius asked and was quickly supported by James' protests.
"Yeah, we're better!" James agreed, mainly just to annoy Lily.
"James, you cannot even begin to compare yourself to me. You'll undoubtedly lose. Face it, I'm way cooler than you," Lily said in a haughty tone that was obviously intended to be a joke.
"Plus, she's hotter, way nicer to look at, so she gets first choice. Deal with it; it's the way of the world."
"Now I feel sexually harassed, I don't think I want first pick anymore," lily pouted.
Remus raised an eyebrow at her, "you don't? Okay, then I guess James and Sirius can have first choice."
"No, no- you know what, sexual harassments actually okay. I'll live, have to learn to be strong, right?" Lily said.
"Sure, it's not that you just want the best room."
"No! Of course not, I do have some morals."
"You're proving it as we speak," Remus teased her.
"Shut up," Lily said. "Where are James and Sirius?" Lily asked, looking around, just having noticed that they were no longer with them.
"Probably off finding a room."
"NO!"
"Yes," Remus said.
"I'll kill them if they take the room I want," Lily said, grabbing Remus by the arm, "come on, show me to the rooms."
--
Lily walked into Remus' room after settling into her room only to find him still unpacking, "how many things did you bring with you that you haven't finished getting it all out yet?" she asked him incredulously.
Remus laughed, "I didn't want to do it at first, just spent some time watching the telly," he said, pointing to the television on the other side of the room.
"You have a telly?"
"Mum's muggle born," Remus explained.
"Now it all makes sense."
"So what's with you?"
"Nothing much, just bored, looking for some company."
"Well, I'd be glad to be of assistance," he said, leaving his things, and moving to her, throwing her over his shoulder before she even had time to react. He threw her onto his bed.
"Ah, that hurt, why'd you do that you wanker?"
"There's a good movie on now, Carrie, ever heard of it?"
"No, only ever watched a few when I was friends with this muggle born."
"Was?" Remus asked her.
"Story better left untold," she told him.
"Fair enough," Remus said, not really wanting to let the topic go, but taking her word, figuring that it really was a story that he was better off left ignorant of, given what he already knew about her family.
They sat there together watching the movie, Lily's head buried in his chest for the greater part of the film since she was too scared to actually give the movie her full attention. When the movie ended he looked down at her, "what'd you think?"
"That ending was scary as hell," she said, shivering at the memory.
"Figures."
He paused, he could tell that there was something that she wanted to say, but he didn't push her, "I understand why she did it. You know, what she-ending it for her mom like that," she said so quietly that he barely heard her, but he did. "I get it, how she can hate someone that she's related to like that-I know what it's like, it's hell, it's lonely. It's something that I wouldn't ever wish upon anyone."
Remus looked at her, taking the scene, what she had just said in, "you've never talked about your family-not with me."
Lily smiled sadly at him, "I know just-- I want to just put it behind me, start anew I guess. I mean they took so much away from me-the right to a childhood, friends, my self-esteem-they left me so… broken. I just want to make up for it, get back what's left of my childhood, it's not a lot, but it's something. It's a chance, and I want to take it."
"Well," Remus said, smiling down at her, "I am very good at acting immature you know, I am a marauder after all."
Lily smiled at him, thankful for the fact that he always seemed to know just what to say and when, "I think you help may be just what I need."
"Glad to be of assistance love."
--
Two hours later (midnight)
Lily's room:
She heard a light knock at the door and yelled, "Just open the door yourself; I'm way too lazy to get up right now."
Much to her shock it was Sirius who walked in looking as though he would be laughing at her statement if it wasn't for his discomfort at the moment, he paused for a minute, just standing at the door awkwardly before closing the door and turning back to her, "hey."
"Monosyllabic, but okay, I'll bite. Hey," she said, the latter was meant to be a replication of his voice.
"You do a surprisingly good imitation of my voice."
"I assure you that it took years of practice," her eyes widened when she realized what she had said. "Okay, so that sounded a bit mean. I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to come out that way. It was supposed to be a joke, like `Ha-Ha, that's really funny' not like- well, not like how it sounded." Lily rambled, nervous, having yet to actually be alone with him since the debacle where she basically said the equivalent to "fuck off." Now that she thought about, it definitely wasn't one of her finer moments. No, definitely not handled gracefully at all.
"It's okay, I kind of deserved it."
Lily cocked an eyebrow at his response, surprised by the lack of ego in that statement.
"So I actually did come here for a reason-"
"Well that's a relief, for all I knew you could've belonged in the mental ward at St. Mango's," Lily said, attempting to make a joke to lessen some of the tension.
"I was hoping to make amends."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"I want to make things right Lily; I think that we both owe it to ourselves to give it a shot."
At that statement Lily's eyes darkened and when she spoke her voice had lost the light and airy tone that it had previously held. "How can you possibly insinuate that it's up to you? That I even want to be friends with you, and then to say that we both owe it to ourselves?! Speak for yourself Sirius; you've yet to do anything to prove yourself to me. I tried; it's your turn now!"
"Lily, I know that I probably don't deserve your trust, but I want to make it up to you. I want to redeem myself."
"Then do it! Don't give me all these words, I don't need them, they're not worth anything to me, they're way too affable to be trusted."
"Lily just give me a chance, I deserve one, we're family, we should make it work-"
"Oh, don't pull that card on me because I was the one that that meant anything to during our childhood. So let me tell you one thing Sirius: I will be courteous when around you, I will be nice. I will even help you if you ever need me to, but it will all be for Remus' sake. You and I, however, will never be friends; you have hurt me too much for that to ever happen, so forget about your chance."
"There must be some way tha-"
"Don't- don't even try to goad me into giving you a chance, there is no way that I'm going to budge. For years I tried to get on your good side, to make you like me, but you just made my life worse then it already was. You tormented me. You didn't even have the decency to just ignore my existence; you found it necessary to make my life a living hell. You don't deserve me Sirius. It took me years to realize it, but now I know that I won't degrade myself by befriending you."
"Lily, can't you just forgive me? It's not my fault, I didn't know."
"Sirius," she sighed, trying to regain control of herself, to calm down. "I already forgave you, but I'm not ever going to forget what had happened. It was your fault. You chose to be ignorant about me. You chose to listen to the rumors. You chose to make my life a living hell when you could have just ignored me. It was your choice Sirius and no one else's, just deal with its repercussions."
"Lily-"
"I think you should leave now Sirius," Lily told him in a quiet voice, "I think it would be best for both of us if you did."
"Okay, I'll do whatever you want as long as you promise to reconsider."
"I've been thinking about it all year, don't expect my opinion to change, but yeah, okay, I'll think about it some more."
Once he closed the door Lily's resolve broke and the tears made their way, all the memories of the pain from her family and Sirius, the boy that she had hoped would be her saving grace, all of it was unearthed leaving her more vulnerable than she ever wanted to be.
--
Sirius took a seat at the island in the kitchen, joining his two best mates who both had expectant looks upon their faces.
"So what did she say?" Remus asked.
"She said that we are never going to be friends… acquaintances at best, but that would only be for your sake. Then she told me she didn't want to talk to me and kicked me out of her room."
"Come on, there has to be something that you could do in order for her to forgive you."
"It's not even a matter of forgiveness, she said that she does."
"So then what's the problem?"
"Even though she forgave me she won't ever be able to forget what I put her through."
"Listen mate, don't give up. She's worth the effort, trust me on that one. I was an idiot to give her up, don't make my mistake, you'll undoubtedly regret it." James advised him.
"Yeah, okay mate," Sirius said as he to up and muttered good night.
"Do you think that she will be friends with him?" James asked Remus once Sirius was out of ear shot.
"No, not a chance, he hurt her too much. Lily had it harder out of the two, she never had anyone to run to, Sirius could come to our place whenever he needed to escape, Lily didn't have that, she was stuck in that place. Sirius was just another disappointment-everything that Sirius was so scared of happening to him, actually did happen to Lily." They both sat in silence, taking in everything that Remus had said and the consequences of it all. "Well this drama is making me tired, what do you say we head up to be?" Remus said.
"Yeah, sure," James said as the two got up and made their way towards the staircase.
--
Lily's room:
As she lay in bed she heard a soft knock on the door that forced her to get up. "Bloody wankers, can't even leave me alone... Forcing me to get up, jerks," she muttered to herself as she made her way towards the door.
When she opened the door only one thing came to mind, "did you not understand the message? I don't want to talk."
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Author's Note: I hope you liked the chapter and the interaction between Lily and Sirius, I'm not totally sure as to how I pulled it off, but I tried.
Please review, leave any comments (good or bad)
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