Chapter Eleven
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Hermione ran up the stairs to her flat; she wanted to leave her things there as quickly as possible so she could go and see Harry. She had missed him so unbelievingly much and she wanted to start moving her stuff to his flat as soon as possible. She wanted to tell him all about the training and how well she had done, he would surely be proud of her. Most of all she just wanted to see his handsome face and kiss his glorious lips.
She yanked open the door and shrieked as she saw Harry's jacket thrown on her bed. "Harry?" she yelled out, she stood for a second and closed her eyes - she was holding her breath, praying he was there.
"In the living room," he answered and Hermione shrieked again. She ran inside and threw herself around his neck. Harry closed his eyes and took in her scent, her wonderful unique scent which he loved so much. She pulled away and looked at him, she was positively glowing.
"I missed you so much, Harry!" she kissed him hard on the lips, but pulled away when she felt no response.
"We have to talk;" he said and gestured for her to sit down on the sofa opposite of his armchair. She looked worried for a second and then asked:
"Did someone die?" It was a habit to ask this question since the war.
"No."
She couldn't believe how serious Harry was looking and wondered what could be so bad. She sat down and smiled weakly at him. Harry started to fidget with his hands and Hermione frowned, she had started to feel scared.
"Harry, stop it!" she ordered. "Just tell me." Harry's chest heaved up and down - he didn't know how to start.
"At the birthday party…"
"Fred and George's?"
"Yes, well as you know I was very drunk." Hermione nodded. She tilted her head slightly and Harry looked into her beautiful, cinnamon eyes. How could he ever tell her? Right now, it was unsaid… it was bliss. How could he break such a beautiful heart?
Just do it you unworthy coward! he ordered himself.
"Well, I slept with Lavender."
Hermione stopped breathing and she felt as if the room had gotten ice-cold. Everything in the room went out of focus and she had to hold on to the armrest so she wouldn't just fall off the sofa.
"Wh-What?" she croaked.
"Yes. I am so sorry Hermione, I can't even begin…"
"What?" she found her voice and yelled this time.
"I just, well I was so drunk. And I woke up naked in her bed."
Hermione stood up. "I don't want to hear this. It's just can't be true, it can't!" She looked Harry in the eyes, pleading for him to tell her it was a silly joke. But she knew Harry would never joke about anything like that. "Is it true Harry? Did you really sleep with her?" Harry looked sadder than she had ever seen him and he nodded. Hermione clasped at her chest - it felt as though her heart was literally breaking.
"There is something else," Harry whispered and Hermione looked at him.
"Well, what the fuck is it?" she finally said.
"Lavender is pregnant."
Hermione held her stomach with both her arms; she rocked slightly back and forth and started shaking her head. "No, no…" she whispered. Again the room fell out of focus and she realized that it was because her tears were overfilling. Harry sat down on the sofa next to her.
"I have no words," he simply said and she looked up at him. His face was also covered in tears. She shook her head and let out a loud wailing cry. She had no words either; she didn't know a single thing to say. She pictured her and Harry's future, the plans they had made - it was all disappearing in front of her. Her dreams were shattered in a moment, her life was ending. She looked at Harry again.
"How could you do this to me?" she cried.
"I don't know!" he answered honestly, he was crying as well. He reached out and put his hand on her back. She moved away from him.
"So what will happen now?" she asked but she already knew the answer.
"I - I have to take responsibility."
"Meaning?"
"Well, I grew up without parents, I can't just…" Hermione clasped her chest again.
"Oh my God, you're going to marry her, aren't you?" she gasped.
"Yes," Harry answered sadly, he looked down at his feet.
"I-I can't breathe!"
"I have to, I don't want to. I want to be with you, Hermione," Harry cried and put his face in his hands. Hermione stood up slowly. She looked down at Harry, it was obvious that he was hurting, but she didn't care.
"You've destroyed everything!" she said calmly to him. "I want you out of here when I get back." She left the apartment and when she rounded the corner of the building she immediately apparated to her other best friend. Her only best friend!
---
As Ron opened the front door he looked happy for a brief moment when he saw her, but he quickly noticed the tears on her face. He dashed forwards and wrapped his arms around her.
"What's going on?" he asked concerned and Hermione realized that he didn't know.
Hermione collapsed in his arms and he helped her into his bedroom. She was shaking violently.
"Do you need a doctor?" he asked and she shook her head. He wrapped a blanket around her.
"Ha-Harry," she cried loudly.
"What about him? Is he hurt?" She shook her head and Ron started to realize what was going on.
"Did you have a fight or something?" He bent down and kneeled in front of her of her. "Please, Hermione, tell me."
"He has gotten Lavender pregnant and they're getting married."
Ron's eyes widened and then he wrapped his arms around Hermione as hard as he could. He couldn't quite comprehend what he was hearing. It just couldn't be….
"I'll kill him," he mumbled into her hair. He started to pull away.
"No, Ron, please! Please stay here with me."
He leaned back into the hug, there was no doubt Hermione needed him now. But as he held her, feeling her shake violently in his arms, he became more upset. Nothing had, and he doubted nothing ever would, hurt him as much as when Hermione cried.
---
When Harry opened the front door to his flat he was almost positive who would be on the other side. He didn't raise him arms to protect himself as Ron's fist came flying to his face. Harry took the blow and backed several steps away. Ron lunged forward and grabbed Harry's shirt.
"I'm going to kill you!" he yelled Harry in the face.
"Yeah, you should," Harry answered quietly. Ron stood still for a moment, still breathing violently, and then he let Harry go.
"How could you do this, Harry?" he glared at him, but there was an imploring desperation in his question. Harry didn't meet his eyes; he just stared at his feet.
"I have no answers, Ron, it just happened. I can't make excuses." Ron shook his head.
"But you had her, you had Hermione. You told me you would make her happy, so I backed off. Then you go and do something like this." Ron's temper was flaring up again and he felt like knocking a few of Harry's teeth out.
"I love Hermione," Harry answered.
"Nice way of showing it, mate! She's in my flat and she's been crying since she arrived." Harry looked heartbroken. "She will never speak to you again, and I don't blame her to tell you the truth!"
Harry started to become aggravated - his relationship with Hermione was none of Ron's business! He was their friend, not a part of their love life.
"Well you should be happy then, now you finally can have your go with her. Isn't this what you always wanted?" he snapped. Ron pushed him hard in the chest.
"She's my friend! And seems I'm a much better friend to her than you, I figure you only did it to get her in bed!" Harry pushed Ron hard on the shoulder and pointed his finger at him.
"Once, I allow you to say something like that, once! Next time I'll draw my wand!"
Harry's eyes were flaring. Ron pushed Harry's hand away.
"I just don't understand you Harry." He turned to leave.
"Just - just take care of her okay," Harry said to Ron's back as the door closed.
---
Hermione stayed in Ron's bed for a whole week. The whole class had time off after the camp. But even if they would have had classes, she would never have gone.
Ginny had the decency not to come in and talk to her, all Hermione wanted was to be left alone. Ron slept in the bed with her to keep her company and comfort her when she would begin crying uncontrollably. Hermione kept picturing Harry and Lavender in bed together. She wondered if he did the same things with her as he had done with Hermione. Sometimes she pictured Harry making sweet love to Lavender, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Other times she imagined them being like animals, violently feeding on each other's flesh. She thought about Lavender in a beautiful wedding dress, all their friends would be there. Harry would feed her cake; they would kiss and smile for the cameras….
Hermione had made herself sick many times dwelling on these thoughts. It took her a few extra days to start thinking about the baby Lavender was carrying. Harry's baby! The baby Hermione had always dreamed would grow in her own womb. He would be in the delivery room with Lavender, he would hold her hand and name their child.
Hermione buried her face in Ron's pillow.
How could this have happened? What did I do to deserve this? My heart hurts so bloody much, I feel like I could die.
She looked over at an old photo from Hogwarts. It was standing on Ron's bedside table. The whole Gryffindor gang from the same year were in it. She was standing next to Harry, holding his hand. Right behind Harry was Lavender, smiling falsely to the camera. Hermione smashed the photo into the floor and stomped on it. The door opened suddenly and Ron was looking for the source of the crash.
"For God's sake, your foot is bleeding!" he sounded sad.
"I don't care." She sat down on the bed and looked out the window.
"Come here," he started tugging at her hand.
"No!" she protested.
"I don't care, Hermione," he said and pulled her out of the bedroom into the living room. Ginny was sitting on the sofa eating toast and looked surprised to see Hermione.
"Wow, so you've finally decided to join the living again."
"No, Ron apparently decided for me that I would," Hermione sulked. Ron pushed her down in an arm chair and went to get some bandages for her foot.
"For what it's worth Hermione, I'm really sorry what happened between you and Harry," Ginny said. Hermione nodded and looked away. She wondered how many times she would have to hear that sentence. People would pity her, the stupid girl who thought she had been the one to get Harry Potter's heart. She would be known as the stupid girl who had actually risked her friendship with her other best friend for a man who didn't really love her. At least not in the same way… Not in the same way Hermione had loved him.
Not forever….
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