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Chapter Fifteen
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It was finally Monday and Harry was glad to be back at work. He had dreaded the weekend, worst of all the moment Hermione would see Lavender at the party. Hermione had disappeared with the others quickly enough, but Harry still couldn't shake the look on Hermione's face as she had seen Lavender.
Harry kept waiting for it all to get better, this will pass, he kept telling himself. He didn't know who he was trying to fool, this wasn't passing. Lavender was having his child, they were getting married and he had lost Hermione forever. That would never change.
She had already started dating other guys and it was killing Harry. Speaking of the devil! he thought, as William entered the classroom. As Harry feared, William immediately approached him.
"Potter!" he smiled widely.
"William," Harry answered politely.
"Sorry we didn't get a chance to have that drink this weekend at the party." William was speaking a bit too loud and people started to look at them.
We're not friends you git, Harry thought. "So did you enjoy yourself?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, I had a great time."
"You left early, did you?" Harry tried not to sound too interested.
"No, we didn't leave, we went down to that old creek and had a small party there. I wanted to get you mate, but Luna told me you two were - well you know, not the best of friends right now."
"Mm…right. So, you and Hermione, huh?" Harry couldn't stop himself.
"No way, that never happened. Too bad, though, she's a great girl."
"Oh?" Harry's heart felt lighter.
"No, she apparently has her eye on someone else." Harry felt like he could breathe again.
"Yeah, your friend Ron." Harry almost started laughing.
"Oh, is that so?"
"Yup, found `em going at it by the creek."
The colour from Harry's face disappeared. "You what?"
"Yeah, we were flying around - Ginny and me, that is - and when we came back they were horizontal, one in top of the other. I don't mind, though, I took quite a liking to Ginny, actually."
Cian walked up behind them and slammed his hand hard into Harry's back.
"What do you say, Harry, we'll give them a hard lesson today, don't you agree?" Harry managed a nod.
---
Ron and Hermione? Hermione and Ron? No it didn't make any sense; she had said that she never fancied Ron. Had she done it as revenge? Of course, that had to be it. She wanted to hurt Harry back. Harry tried to focus on the class he was to teach but he kept losing the thread and Cian had to take over.
Harry managed to make it through the day without seeing Hermione or making any horrible mistakes during his lessons. But when his day was over, he knew exactly where he wanted to go.
Not many minutes had passed after his shift was over before he was knocking loudly on Hermione's door. As the door opened Hermione barely had time to register who was there before Harry pushed himself inside. He ran straight into the living room looking round frantically, he didn't know what he had expected, Ron lying naked on the sofa maybe?
"Harry what the hell do you think you're doing?" Hermione demanded as she ran after him inside.
"Is it true?" Harry was yelling, but he didn't even know it.
"What?" she yelled back but she was fairly sure what he was talking about.
"You and Ron!" he pointed his finger in her face.
"Depends on what you've heard," she answered defiantly. Harry nodded angrily. He looked at her open and down.
"I can't believe you," he hissed.
"What the hell did I do?" she yelled at him.
"You're just with Ron because you want to get back at me." Hermione pushed him hard in the chest.
"First of all, I'm not with Ron. Second of all, don't flatter yourself. Third, how is any of your business who I'm with?"
"You know I never stopped loving you! You know seeing you with Ron would be toture! How the hell can he do this to me? Is he content being second runner up? Anything to get into you knickers, huh?" Hermione just stared at Harry.
"How can you talk like that about Ron, and about me?" Harry ran a hand through his hair and let out a loud groan.
"Are you with Ron? Have you slept with him?" his voice sounded close to tears.
"I'm not going to answer that, it's between him and me."
"That means yes!" he bellowed.
"So what if I did? You are spending every single night with Lavender!"
"I don't sleep with her, she has her own room! I've never slept with her… except."
"Yeah, that's right, except when you got her pregnant." Harry went quiet again.
"I don't even remember it."
"Well look at her belly and it might all come back to you. Now get the hell out, Harry, you have no right to come here and demand answers from me like this." Harry glared at her for a moment before turning in a Snape-like manner and storming out of the apartment.
---
Ron received an owl shortly after from Hermione, inviting him over. He saw immediately by Hermione's face that something had happened.
"Harry knows that we kissed at the party," she said as Ron sat down in the living room
.
"How? William?" Ron asked. He looked somewhat scared.
"I guess. Or Ginny could have told him… wouldn't surprise me."
"He was pretty mad I'm guessing." Hermione nodded.
"He thinks we are a couple and that we've slept together."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing."
"Hermione!" Ron looked shocked. "You can't let him think that."
"Why not? It's not his business what we do, I'll snog you as much as I like." Ron's eyebrows rose slightly.
"Oh, you know what I mean." Ron went quiet again.
"What are you thinking?" Hermione finally asked, a bit annoyed that Ron wasn't as appalled by Harry's behaviour as she had been.
"I just feel sorry for Harry."
"What?" she shieked.
"Just think about it for a second Hermione. I know you are really mad at Harry about Lavender, and I totally agree with you," he added quickly as she opened her mouth, "but Harry never stopped loving you. He's been crushed by this break-up and now he probably thinks you and I are getting it on." Hermione crossed her arms.
"You didn't seem to mind this weekend, I thought it's what you wanted." It didn't come out the way she had wanted it to. She could see the hurt all over Ron's face.
"I think I'll go home." Hermione stood up as well.
"No, Ron, please I didn't mean it like that."
"It's fine, and to tell you the truth… I guess it was something we both had to get out of our systems. I kind of have my eye on someone else…" he answered and walked out the door.
---
Hermione found herself walking around in the pouring rain. The second the rain had started it had felt like it was drawing her outside. Nothing could clear her head like a long walk in the rain. Only this time it didn't help. She kept thinking about the look on Harry's face and she felt so guilty. And every time she admitted to herself that she was feeling guilty she got angry. Why did she feel guilty? Had she slept with Ron? No! Had she gotten someone pregnant? No! Was she the one who had ruined their happiness? No!
The rain came down hard on her shoulders, and it felt soothing. She looked up at the dark sky and the raindrops hit her in the face. She looked at the moon, and the well known feeling of sadness filled her again.
"We are both crying tonight, aren't we?" she asked, looking at the moon.
Hermione soon found herself outside Harry's apartment building. She looked up at his window. The flat looked dark except Harry's bedroom window. Was he in there alone? Had he been telling the truth? Did Lavender sleep by herself? She stood for a few more minutes looking at the window, she was getting cold. Her hair was completely soaked and it was dripping wildly.
---
Harry was lying on his bed, reading a book and trying to get his mind off what had happened earlier. He heard a soft knock and hurried to the front door. The last thing he wanted was Lavender to wake up. He couldn't hide his shock when he saw a soaked through Hermione outside of his door. The mascara was running down her cheeks and she was shaking slightly. He stepped out into the hallway closing the door gently behind him. He saw Hermione trying to peek inside.
"Am I disturbing anything?" she asked in a shaky voice.
"No," he didn't know what else to answer.
"Can we talk?"
He nodded. "Not here, can we just go outside or something. I'd just die if Lavender opened the door," she begged.
"But it's raining."
"So?"
Harry quickly tip-toed back inside and got his jacket. He walked quietly behind Hermione outside. She stopped under a small rock sticking out of a building.
She turned and looked up at Harry.
"What are you doing here Hermione?" his tone was hard.
"I couldn't stop thinking about what happened before. This is my life Harry."
"Yeah, well, you already said that. And I wish I could say that I am happy for you and Ron, but I'm not." Hermione looked down at her shaking hands. They were getting whiter as she got colder. She looked back up into Harry's green eyes. His hair was just a bit wet, but it was still dripping down on his shoulders.
"I'm not with Ron," she said in barely a whisper. Harry didn't speak, but looked like he wanted her to continue. "Yeah, we snogged, but that's all. It happened once. I hate myself for being here, explaining this to you. I wish I didn't feel like I had to, and I hate you for making me feel like I'm cheating on you." Hermione's eyes welled over with tears and as they gushed over they got lost among the raindrops on her face.
Harry took a step closer to her, barely able to control himself; he wanted to kiss her and press her up against the wall.
"I wish we could put our lives on hold, and just go somewhere. Back to the beach house!" he whispered.
He was so close that Hermione could feel his hot breath on her skin. She let out a cry and leaned her head against Harry's chest. She started crying violently. Harry put his hand on her head and closed his eyes.
"I hate seeing you like this," he whispered. "And I hate that I'm the reason. I wish I was a good person who could leave you alone - move away. But if I don't get to see you…I can't breathe." He knew he was rambling but he had to get it out.
"I miss you so much, Harry," she cried into his chest and her words felt like knives in his chest. He put his hand under her chin and tilted her head up. Their eyes met again and Hermione's world stood still.
"Please don't kiss me," she breathed.
"I'll die if I don't."
"I'll die if you do," she answered honestly. Harry wrapped his arms tightly around her and she hugged him back. Neither of them could feel the rain or the cold anymore, they just welcomed the feel of each other's embrace again.
"I have to go," Hermione finally said.
"No," Harry said and it physically hurt him as she pulled away. He grabbed her hand.
"Harry, please," she pleaded.
"I can't…."
Hermione pulled her hand back and walked quickly away.
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