Unofficial Portkey Archive

A/N: If you have not yet read chapter 33, do that first. I did two updates in something like 5 minutes, which can be confusing sometimes. *shuts up*

Chapter 34: Dark Marks

I sense there's something in the wind

That feels like tragedy's at hand

And though I'd like to stand by him

Can't shake this feeling that I have

The worst is just around the bend.

~lyrics from "Sally's Song"

from The Nightmare Before Christmas

Remus and Calista were lost in their own little world, safe inside the Shrieking Shack. They rested on the old bed, covered only now with blankets they had long ago brought specifically for their little rendezvous. It was very dark; they could only see the dim outlines of the other as they lay together. Remus had one arm underneath Calista, resting his hand on the small of her back. Her skin was powder soft under his fingers. He dropped kisses on her bare shoulder and down her arm, making her laugh. She had a nice laugh and he didn't hear it often enough for his liking.

Remus had fallen into the trap of everyone in love: he had lost sight of Calista's physical flaws. It happens when one discovers the inner substance of a person. It gives meaning to the phrase "never judge a book by its cover." He knew he was in that trap and it was all right by him. Calista had accepted him for what he was, he would do the same for her with whatever she was keeping from him.

"Do I make you happy?" he asked her now.

"Yes," she said in her scratchy voice. The timbre of her voice didn't bother Remus as it used to.

"Good," Remus smiled in the dark, willing to leave it at that for now. He felt in the darkness for Calista's lips and kissed them softly. He felt her sigh against his mouth and kiss him back, her hand tightening on his arm. His hand gently rubbed her back as the kiss deepened, then he ran his fingers up her arm. His thumb brushed a rough patch of skin near her left elbow. It was like a flame under his thumb, searing hot, and it made Calista suck in her breath in a hiss, whether from the sudden flare of heat or from his touch, Remus didn't know. Calista broke the kiss and jerked her arm out of Remus' grasp, nuzzling her face in his neck.

"What is it?" he asked. If she was hurt. . .

"Nothing. It's nothing. Don't worry about it,'' Calista insisted. Her mind was reeling, trying desperately to think up an excuse, but she seemed to be stuck on oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god. . .

"No, Cal, what's happened?" Remus shoved himself up on one elbow to try and see her in the dark, but there was just the outline of her body against his.

"I uh--- I got a bit careless in Potions class the other day, that's all," she said hurriedly. Please, whatever reigns above us, let him buy that.

"You're not careless," he said slowly. Damn you.

"Everyone has their moments," she said, giving a nervous laugh.

"Does it hurt," he asked. The concern in his voice made her want to weep.

"Not really," she lied. She should have known Remus would spot the lie in her voice; they knew each other now better than anyone else did.

"Let me see." His tone would brook no refusal and he grasped her left arm as he reached for his wand.

"No, Remus, it's all right, really--" Too late, Narcissa's voice once again rang in her mind, as it did so often. "And where, too, can you run that the Dark Mark will not follow you?"

"Lumos." His wand tip flared into light, casting a soft glow around the bedchamber. There was no way out of it. The Master had called and the wandlight illuminated the black brand seared into Calista's pale skin.

"No. . . no. . . ."

"Remus, listen to me." Let him understand, please.

"You couldn't --- you can't be ---"

"Remus, please--"

Remus was backing away from her, as far as the bed would allow. Calista stayed where she was, watching the horror seep into his face as he crawled away from her. She had to make him understand, she had to make him see that she'd had no choice.

"You're --- you're a--" He couldn't think, couldn't see, couldn't breathe. She was one of them, one of the ones Dumbledore had warned them all against. Never in all his imaginings had he envisioned this to be her secret.

Calista gasped and clutched her arm. The brand had burned again, causing more pain. She wanted to scratch her skin off but she had to talk to Remus.

"How could you? How could you?!"

"I had no choice," she said softly.

"There's always a choice!" Remus sputtered.

"No, there isn't. You've never been in a situation like this, so you don't realize the world isn't always full of choices. It was join them or death. . . I'm too afraid to die." She whispered the last part, her eyes distant and haunted. There were tears filling them when she looked back at Remus.

"Remus, please. . ." Calista reached out her hand to him. Remus jerked away so far that he tumbled off the bed.

"Don't touch me," he said as he scrambled to his feet, staring at her hand as if it were the most repulsive thing he'd ever seen. He grabbed for his robes in the dim wandlight and pulled them over his head. Calista let her hand drop to her side and bit her lip.

"What have you done for them?"

"What?" Calista raised her head to gaze, confused, at Remus. He was staring at her as if he were meeting her for the first time. In three minutes, she had become worse than a stranger to him. Lily was right, he thought suddenly. Lily was right about her. Oh my God. . .

"What Lucius did to Lily --- you were involved in that, weren't you?" he accused her.

Calista stared at Remus for a long silent moment. He realized he was holding his breath as he waited, terrified of what she may tell him. Let me be wrong, please, please, please let me be wrong and then I'll apologize and take her in my arms and fix this, just let me be wrong, let me be wrong about this, please-Calista didn't speak, she simply nodded her head and Remus' heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

"How could you?" he demanded in a low voice. "Lily is my friend. How could you be a part of something so heinous?"

"I don't care about her," Calista said impatiently, waving her hand to brush the issue of Lily Evans aside. "What happens to her is not my concern."

"SHE'S MY FRIEND!" Remus screamed suddenly.

"But I told you!" Calista cried. "I told you I hated them, all of them, that I didn't care about them! They're nothing to me but you are everything to me and that's all I cared about!"

"If you care so much about me," Remus said coldly, "then you're supposed to care about my friends too."

"Why should I?" Calista swung her legs over the side of the bed and reached for her own robes. "They walk around lording themselves over the entire school, and we're all supposed to bow down and worship them as if they were gods!"

"No, that's supposed to be reserved for your Master, isn't it?"

"He is not my Master," Calista said roughly. She struggled with the clasp on her robes as she stood unsteadily to her feet.

"That's his mark on your arm, isn't it? Why wear it if you don't believe in him?"

"I had to stay alive," she said. "I didn't want to die, so I went thought their horrible initiation and performed their hideous sacrifice and now I do they're bidding and I wish I was dead, oh god how I wish I was dead, but I'm not strong enough to take my own life even though Narcissa said it was the only was to escape but I just can't and there's no where I can run to so what am I supposed to do about that?!" Calista didn't realize she was screaming, didn't realize there were tears streaming down her face as she revealed the horror of her life in a torrent of curses and sobs. She was babbling, but she could not stop until it was too late. She caught her breath and gazed with widened eyes upon the great love of her life, who was not looking at her face but gazing at her arm where he knew the mark was hidden under the fabric of her robe.

She waited to hear what he would have to say to her little outburst, and when he opened his mouth and spoke, she dies inside, for Remus had caught the one thing she had prayed, even after all that had come before, that he would never find out.

"What sacrifice?" Remus whispered. "What are you talking about?"

Calista had no words to tell him, and she found she didn't have to. She saw the wheels turning in his mind as he put the pieces of the puzzle together. The look on his face cut her sharper than Narcissa's knife would have. His mouth opened and closed a few times and he struggled to find words.

Remus' mind was reeling. He knew what she meant now, but he had to ask . . . he had to be sure . . . but how to speak? The thing he had to ask was the most horrible thing he'd ever thought of and to ask her now would take all the courage he had left.

"Sara?" he finally squeaked. Calista pressed her lips together and looked him straight in the eye as she nodded. Remus closed his eyes and let out a wail of despair as he sank to his knees. She's a murderer. She's a murderer. He rocked back and forth, moaning, his head in his hands, fists in his hair. She's a murderer. She's a murderer.

Remus had believed he could deal with whatever secret she had been hiding and now in the light he found he had been horribly wrong about everything. There was no good in Calista at all. There were arms around Remus now, holding him, and he leaned into Calista's shoulder.

"It was either me or her," she sobbed quietly. "I had to. I had to, don't you see? I don't want to die. I don't want to die, I don't want to die," she said over and over as she cried into his hair. Her tears mingled with his own as he lifted his face to hers and met her lips again, offering the only comfort he knew to give. She met his kiss fiercely, clinging to him for dear life. And I'm kissing a murderer - stop thinking of her like that - like what? That's what she is, Moony old boy. Remus broke away and shoved Calista from him. She fell back, her lank hair falling into her face.

"Remus--"

"No," he said harshly. "No!" He stood quickly and stared down at her.

Calista found she wasn't crying anymore; she seemed to be beyond tears now. That was good; she hated crying. It made her feel weak.

"You murdered Sara," Remus said.

"I told you--"

"You murdered Sara," he said again.

"Remus--"

"You murdered Sara!!!" He screamed it in her face, making her shrink from him. "You're hateful! Evil!" he spat at her. "You took someone's life because you were too afraid to stand up for yourself and you let Malfoy hurt my friend and you don't even care! Do you care about anything?!"

"You." It was whispered so softly Remus barely heard it, but it gave him pause. He couldn't stand to look at her anymore so he turned and leaned against the dresser. Behind him, he heard Calista climb to her feet.

"You knew what was going to happen to Lily and you did nothing to stop it," Remus said.

"Why am I supposed to care about her?" Calista asked spitefully. "She had her friends to fawn over her and make her feel special."

"We're talking about you deliberately keeping silent about something so awful--"

"I was going to tell you," Calista said, "but you made me angry and so I said nothing. I thought that you and your little friends deserved what you got!"

"What are you-my god," Remus said. He swung around to face her, anger making his face burn. "All this happened because I called you a Grim?! I shot my mouth off and so you let Malfoy nearly destroy my friend because I accidentally hurt your feelings?! Are you really that selfish?"

"So now I'm selfish?"

"No, you're sick is what you are." He turned away from her again; the sight of her was making him sick and furious at the same time. He wanted to strangle her and he wanted to hate her, but he couldn't bring himself to do either and so he sought to hurt her with his words for making him feel for her. God, why did he have to feel?

Her arm was burning again, but she ignored it. The Master could wait a little longer while the last good thing in her life crumbled into pieces. All in his name.

"Is there anyone else you've murdered that I don't know about?" Remus kept his back to her as he spoke. His eyes were burning with unshed tears, but he would not show weakness in front of her anymore. A horrible thought crossed into his mind.

"Lauren O'Henry. The girl who disappeared our fifth year. Did you do it?"

"No," Calista said. There was more behind her voice; Remus knew her so well. . .

"You know you did?" he asked quietly. His voice was very calm, but inside the anger was gripping every part of him.

"Yes," she said simply. Tell him, tell him! her mind screamed at her. Take the blasted rat down with you and end this madness! TELL HIM! Calista said nothing. The sins of Wormtail were not her business, so she left the subject alone.

"So what now," she asked Remus.

"I don't know," he said hoarsely.

They stood there, pondering their present situation. Calista's arm was burning beyond belief as the Master called again and again, but she didn't care. Let him call. No matter what happened here, she was never going again.

"Get out."

"What?" Calista was brought back to earth by Remus' harsh voice. He had turned and was staring at her with utmost hatred. His eyes held nothing but disgust as he looked at her, his hands were clenched into fists at his sides.

"I said get out, and don't you ever come here again. You're not welcome."

"Remus, no." Her mark was bleeding from the constant burning; the blood was pouring down her arm as she reached out to him. Remus looked like he was going to be ill as he pushed her arm away from him.

"Don't touch me!"

"Remus, don't push me away, please--"

"Get away from me murderer!"

Calista froze, the fresh pain rushing through her veins. This was worse than Remus calling her a Grim, a bringer of death, so much worse than that incident because now it was her lover insulting her.

"You were supposed to understand," she said brokenly.

"Understand? Understand?" Remus cried. "Understand what? That you're a freak, a murderer, a follower of darkness?"

"Don't you understand that they made me do it?" she yelled.

"What, they physically forced the knife in your hand to pierce Sara's flesh?!"

"NO! Severus--- he made me--- he and Lucius and Bellatrix made me do things--"

"Do you or do you not have a mind of your own?"

"Yes, but--"

"Then you should have shown some courage, woman! Don't you understand that if you had come to us for help, we would have given it to you? Gladly?! Don't you understand that because I cared about you you wouldn't have had to go through this alone? I would have helped you; we all would have! NO one deserves what you've gone through, but you took someone's life! You're just as bad as the rest of them now and I can't help you!"

"They would have killed me! Don't you get it? I would have died!"

"Then you should have died! I wish you had, rather than bring this hell onto my friends! All of this, all the suffering we've all gone through, it's all your fault!"

Remus' shout bounced of the walls and rang through the room, leaving a stunned silence in its wake. Calista's face showed the betrayal she felt. Remus was broken inside, feeling just as betrayed as she.

"You were supposed to understand," she whispered.

"Get out," Remus growled. He shuddered, feeling dizzy. He was so angry he wanted to bite her, eat her until she could bring no more sin into his world. He wanted to feed.

"Remus?" Calista said uncertainly. Hair was sprouting all over his body; his hands were elongating, curling into claws. . . His temper was such that it was bringing on the change, two full weeks before the full moon. Oh no.

"Get out. Get out!" He growled at her. "I don't ever want to see you again!"

"Don't say that," she said softly. She had been here when he was in wolf form; she was not afraid.

"GET OUT!" Remus grabbed a large hand mirror that lay on top of the dresser and threw it at her. Calista ducked and it hit the wall where her head would have been and shattered, bit of glass raining down into her hair where they sparkled like jewels. They were followed by shards of wood as Remus threw the entire oak dresser in her direction.

"Murderer," Remus snarled. His face was changing; he was shaking in the grips of the seizure of his change. His thoughts were becoming less human, the wolf was taking over and he was hungry and angry.

"No!" Calista screamed. It can't end like this. Please don't let it end like this. "Remus it's me, please--"

"I know it's you and I hate the very sight of you now GET OUT!!!" Remus struck her across the face and she fell against the door. It gave way beneath her sudden weight and Calista tumbled into the hallway. More wood splintered about her as the entire bed was thrown out the door. It smashed into pieces; Calista screamed and threw her arms over her head. As soon as the rain of wood paused, she scrambled to her feet. She could hear Remus snarling, ranting and raving inside the bedroom but there was no way she was going back in there.

She fled down the hallway, clung to the railing of the stairs as she clattered down, bolted for the doorway and ran down the path, fresh tears streaming down her face. Shards of wood and glass in her hair scraped against her skin; she was bleeding from her legs, her arms, the blood was pouring thick and viscous from the Dark Mark but Calista didn't care. She just ran as fast as her feet would carry her.

Back in the shack, Remus fell to the floor as his legs shortened and his robes ripped as his body changed into that of the werewolf. His vision changed, the images losing color but becoming sharper, the smells invading his nose. Her scent was everywhere, all over this place, all over him . . . the scent of a murderer.

His last human cry was her name, and then the wolf took over.

**********

The howl came through the open window in the Gryffindor common room, waking Lily up and causing all four head to turn towards the direction of the sound.

"What the--?" Autumn asked

"It can't be," James said in a hushed voice.

"Full moon isn't for two weeks!" Sirius cried.

"Something's gone wrong," James said. He was deathly pale and very afraid.

"Maybe it's not Remus," Lily said hopefully. The howl came again, and to the two boys who knew it best, there was no mistaking it.

"Sonofa--" James and Sirius were already out the door before the girls followed, leaving the fairy doll alone on the couch as a testament to the last bit of innocence.

************

Peter jerked around when he heard the wolf howl. Spike ducked and prayed he hadn't been seen, and then risked a glance at the moon. It was only half full tonight. Remus couldn't have . . . but the eerie feeling that had been shared by all took over, and Spike knew something terrible had occurred again.

He heard scurrying footsteps and looked around to see Peter scrambling towards the Gates just as four figures came bursting out of the castle. Spike jumped out of his hiding spot and sprinted to catch up.

**************

Severus was going to meet Lucius when he saw the short, fat figure of Peter running as fast as he could. I didn't think I'd ever see him move that fast, he thought. Maybe Honeydukes is having a chocolate shortage and he's running to get the last of it. Severus chuckled at his clever joke.

Another howl echoed through the night and he stopped, his blood running cold. He knew that howl; it had rung in his ears as he had been pulled back along a narrow tunnel by his worst enemy.

Severus craned his neck to look at the sky. It wasn't full moon, but that didn't mean anything. He knew that in moments of greatest rage or distress, werewolves could experience their change.

Calista. What did she do now? He saw the leaner figure of Spike following in Peter's footsteps and hurried after him, eager to see what was going on.

***************

James, Sirius, Lily and Autumn met up with Peter at the bottom of the castle steps and ran as one towards the Gates leading to Hogsmede, Spike and Severus on their heels. They had just reached the Gate when they burst open and a small, sobbing form ran through them. Lily knew that sickly form instantly. Calista. Unseen by anyone, Severus ducked behind the nearest pillar and watched from there.

Lily's blood began to boil. If that disgusting girl had done anything to Remus . . . Calista tripped and nearly fell to the earth, but James caught her by her bleeding arms.

"Remus," she sobbed. "He - he. . ." she broke down into hysterical sobs and buried her face in her bloodied hands. Apparently, James was on the same wavelength as Lily because he grasped Calista tight and shook her hard. Glass shards fell from her hair onto the ground, where they twinkled innocently until her blood splattered on them and turned their light into gruesome darkness.

"What did you?" James yelled. She didn't answer him, so he shook her even harder until she cried out from the pain.

"What did you do?" he demanded.

"Nothing!" she cried. "I didn't do anything, I swear! I swear!"

"Where is he?" Sirius said, coming forward to stand next to James.

"In the shack. . . He's in the Shrieking Shack," Calista said. James tossed Calista aside and she fell into Spike's arms.

"Stay with the girls," James told Spike. He nodded, holding the sobbing Calista.

"James," Lily said. He turned to her and smiled reassuringly.

"It will be all right," he said. "Just stay here with Autumn and Spike. Lily nodded and grabbed Autumn's arm. Sirius gestured to Peter, who nodded and all three boys transformed at once and bolted out of the Gate.

Severus peeked out from behind the pillar and caught Calista's eyes as she cowered in Spike's arms. She knew what he was silently asking her, and she nodded slightly. Damn fool girl. He cursed her silently. He was going to kill her as soon as he got the chance.

Spike, Lily and Autumn turned to Calista and each silently thought about what to do with the hysterical girl. Calista slowly realized she was being observed and stifled her sobs. She straightened up and shook herself free of Spike's embrace and stared defiantly at each of them in turn. Severus watched anxiously from his hiding place. Get out of there. Get out of there you silly girl!

"If you didn't do anything, why were you over there in the first place?" Spike asked cautiously.

"I - I uh--" Oh, this is getting ridiculous, she thought. How many more excuses am I supposed to come up with in one night? She scanned her mind, trying to think of something and came up short. All right, Calista, time for Plan B.

She bolted, flat out ran for it, heading in the direction of the lake.

"Unbelievable," Autumn muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Go back inside," Spike said grimly.

"Spike!" Autumn cried, but it was too late: Spike had gone after Calista.

"C'mon, Autumn, let's go in," Lily said nervously. Autumn cast a concerned glance at her friend. Lily had been through a lot this evening and it looked like the night was nowhere near over. What fun. She put her arm around Lily's shoulders and led her back inside the castle.

Once the girls had gone in, Severus crept out from behind the stone pillar and silently followed Spike and Calista's footsteps.

A/N: That was fun…. :D

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