Chapter 36: The End of All Things
~~Where once was light, now darkness falls.
Where once was love, love is no more~~
~One Week Later~
Life holds both good and bad things and each must take their turn eventually. The bad things are always more remembered than the good things are, because bad things seem to have the tendency to come all at once, while life spreads the good out more.
It was Friday. After the longest week of their lives, it was Friday. Nobody was happier to see the weekend than Lily's band of cohorts. There was no sign of Spike, and the school in general feared the worst. It was very reminiscent of the disappearance of Lauren O' Henry two years ago. They had never found her either.
Autumn was in a state of near collapse. She sat next to Lily, her eyes red. She had confessed only last night that she knew Spike was dead, but was still clinging to Dumbledore's spoken hope that Spike would be found. Lily knew better. In her heart, she knew Spike was gone. And she had a very good feeling that she knew who was responsible.
Calista was sitting between Severus Snape and Timothy Nott at the Slytherin table, calmly eating her lunch and engrossed in a whispered conversation with Snape. Lily hated her, as much as she hated the blonde devil whose back was to her now.
Remus had walked around in a state of complete misery all week. Lily had not said anything as to his relationship with Calista; after a long talk with Remus the day after, they had decided that it was his story to tell when he was ready. He hadn't told Lily what had happened in the Shrieking Shack, but she assumed correctly that the relationship was over.
"I hope Moony's all right," James said now. "He's missed all of his morning classes."
Lily looked at him and smiled. Sometimes it felt like James could read her mind.
"I'm sure he's ok," she said softly. "Maybe he just needed some time alone."
"Why would he?" Peter wondered.
"Why not? I'm sure he's just as upset as we all are," Lily said quickly.
"Guys," Sirius said softly. He jutted his chin towards the doors. A silence so thick had fallen over the Great Hall you could have heard a pin drop. Dumbledore stood framed in the doorway, surrounded by four Aurors from the Ministry of Magic, one of whom was Dumbledore's great friend Alastor Moody. Cornelius Fudge, the Junior Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement was also there. The look on Dumbledore's face was terribly sad as he gestured to the left of the Hall.
The entire school followed the progress of the four Aurors as they crossed the Great Hall. Fudge stayed by Dumbledore's side as he watched the proceedings. The Aurors came to a halt behind Calista Serene, who was the only person in the entire Hall not watching them. She was methodically eating her lunch, bit by bit. Moody cleared his throat and spoke, his voice carrying across the room even though he spoke quietly.
~~ Don't say goodbye, don't say `I didn't try.'~~
"Calista Serene, you are under arrest for the murder of Sara Brown. You are also being held for interrogation for your suspected involvement in the disappearances of Lauren O' Henry and Samuel `Spike' Monahan. You are to come with us, immediately, to await your removal to your holding cell in Azkaban prison."
Students throughout the room gasped and whispered. Calista very calmly drained the last bit of pumpkin juice from her goblet and stood up from her seat. Somehow, her eyes met Lily's across the Hall. The two girls had a silent stare-off for a moment, and then to Lily's astonishment, Calista gave the other girl a wink and a smile, then followed Moody and the Aurors from the room.
~~These tears we cry are falling rain,
for all the lies you told us, the hurt, the blame! And we will weep to be so alone.
We are lost, we can never go home.~~
They took her to Flitwick's office to wait for the word from the Azkaban guards that her cell was ready. Calista had this calm exterior thing working for her, but inside she was freaking out. All the horror stories of Azkaban were coming back to haunt her. She felt very cool, despite the warmth of the late afternoon.
She wondered idly who had told the Aurors about her. She had a feeling it had been him, and the thought made her very sad, but she wasn't surprised. Three of the four Aurors stood guard around the room, none of them meeting her eyes. Moody was with Fudge and Dumbledore, supposedly prepping for her interrogation, if she actually got one.
The initiation, the sacrifice, severus in the common room, remus the wolf in her arms, remus the man in her arms, erasing remus and srius' memories, severus in the garden, severus in the closets, in her room, in his room, anywhere they could, narcissa, narcissa's knife, remus and remus and remus and severus and the master with his red eyes, remus and the wolf and spike and the grave and severus, i don't want to die, i don't want to die, i don't want to die
"I don't want to go to Azkaban either," she whispered suddenly. She saw one of the Aurors eyes twitch to her. He looked vaguely familiar. She thought she vaguely remembered him from her earlier days at Hogwarts; he'd been several of years ahead of her. She didn't know the other two at all.
She had to escape; she wasn't willing to spend her life in prison. How to get away from three trained Aurors though? There was a mirror hanging over the desk against the wall and she saw herself reflected in it. Calista watched, stunned, as her reflection smiled at her and winked. There was a red mist swirling in the eyes of her reflection. Calista looked around at the Aurors. None of them seemed to see what she was seeing.
She understood what the message was. Give in completely and she would have her freedom. What the hell, she thought. She had nothing left to lose. She closed her eyes and let the Master in.
~~ So in the end, I'll be what I will be. No loyal friend was ever there for me.~~
"Calista Serene. Calista Serene," Sirius said as they left the Great Hall. "Can you believe it?"
"Actually, yeah I can," Autumn said. "I'm just surprised she's the only one."
"Be fair Autumn," Peter said. "Just because they're Slytherins, it doesn't make them all murderers. It could have been anyone."
"No, it just happened to be the most twisted of them all," Autumn said sourly.
"I'll be back in a bit," Lily said. She gave James a quick kiss and ran off.
"Where is she going?" Peter asked.
"To find Remus," James said.
"Then why don't we go--"
"Because," James cut Sirius off, "they need each other right now. Not us, and I'm okay with that."
~~Now we say goodbye, we say `you didn't try!'
These tears you cry have come too late. Take back the lies, the hurt, the blame!
And you will weep when you face the end alone.~~
Lily walked around the gardens until she found Remus. He was sitting in a remote forgotten corner of the gardens, under a statue of a crying fairy holding a flower. He looked as miserable as the statue.
Lily sat next to him and nudged him with her elbow. She looked in his eyes until she won the grudging little smile she needed to see, then wrapped her hands around his arm and snuggled next to her dear friend.
"Cal told me about this place," Remus said softly. "She used to come here to think."
"You turned her in, didn't you?"
"Yeah," he whispered.
Lily was quiet for a bit, taking in the overgrown garden around her. It was the kind of place Calista would frequent, she thought. Yet, it had a certain peace to it that Lily enjoyed.
"Remus, I'm so sorry," Lily whispered. She rested her head against his and closed her eyes. "Truly I am."
"I know, Lily-girl. I know."
The two friends stayed there until night fell, then they went in together.
************
Peter knew Calista was going to take the fall for what he did to Lauren O' Henry, but he didn't care. Calista had almost ruined everything, she was a sicker mind than most of them; if anyone deserved Azkaban, she did. It actually made his life easier. She could tell the world it was him and who would believe her now? She was a murderer, he was a Gryffindor. It was foolproof. He could serve the Master better now.
************
Severus, Lucius, Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Rabastan and Narcissa sat around the fire talking about the Stunning Moment of 1978: the arrest of Calista Serene.
"Come clean, everyone," Narcissa said. "Which one of you turned her in?"
"I didn't," Bellatrix said.
`Nope," said Rabastan.
"It wasn't me," claimed Rodolphus.
"I certainly didn't do it," Lucius said defensively.
"It wasn't any of us, Narcissa," Severus said quietly. He fell silent again, gazing into the fire.
"What?" Bellatrix pressed him.
"She told Remus Lupin she murdered Sara Brown. I think he turned her in."
"She did what?"
"I don't believe it."
"I knew she was crazy."
"Only Calista would run to a werewolf and expect sympathy."
"She wasn't looking for sympathy," Severus said in that same quiet voice.
"Then what was she looking for?" Lucius demanded.
"Bloody hell if I know," Severus shrugged. He stood up abruptly. "I heard a rumor that the Aurors are going to be searching the Slytherin dorm rooms for more evidence. I suggest we hide some thing quick."
"I have one more question," Rabastan asked. "Did she kill Monahan?"
"No."
"Ah, I would have thought she--"
"I did. She just helped me cover it up."
Everyone's jaw hit the floor as they looked up at Severus.
"You're joking," Bellatrix whispered in an awed voice. He noticed she was gazing up at him with a mixture of something like wonderment and adoration. And taking second place for Calista Serene as Most Twisted Evil Freak. . . Bellatrix Black! his mind thought wildly. He almost laughed, but he was too afraid.
"I have some things to go hide, as I'm sure you all do," he said briskly. "If you'll excuse me." Severus swept up the stairs and out of sight.
"Wicked cool," Bellatrix said.
"I didn't think he had it in him," Lucius said admiringly. "He's right; I have to take care of some things if they're doing a search."
One by one, they stood up and went to their rooms until Narcissa was the only one left. She stared at the doorway her future husband had disappeared behind until her vision blurred. Something occurred to her suddenly, and she stood and quickly went to her dormitory. Bellatrix was stuffing the last of her Dark Rune stones in a bag.
"I have a lose stone under my bed if you need to hide anything," she offered her sister as Narcissa entered the room.
"Thanks," Narcissa said distantly. She stared at Calista's bed. It was neatly made by the house elves; the warming pans had finally been taken away. Narcissa knew Calista kept the knife she had given her between the mattress and the box spring of her bed. She thought she would take it back, since Calista obviously wasn't going to be using it anytime soon and it did have the Black family crest on it.
Narcissa crossed to the bed, knelt down and lifted up the mattress.
"What are you doing?" Bellatrix asked.
"I gave something to Calista for safekeeping. I'd better take it back, don't you think?"
"No joke there."
Yes, there was the red leather box with its silver stitching, just as she had anticipated. Narcissa pulled the box out and let the mattress fall back into its usual position. She knelt on the floor by Calista's bed and turned the box over in her hands thoughtfully. Calista, you sad, sorry child. You should have done it while you could. Narcissa opened the box. There was the silver silk, soft and shiny and empty.
"Calista, you tricky little thing," Narcissa laughed softly.
"Huh?" Bellatrix crossed over to her sister and stared uncomprehendingly at the empty box.
"I think Calista knew the Aurors were coming," Narcissa said, looking up at her sister, "and she apparently made a contingency plan."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning we haven't seen the last of Calista Serene."
*****************
Lily and Remus walked past Flitwick's office on their way back to their common room and met Dumbledore, Moody and Fudge walking from the opposite direction.
"Wait," Remus said softly to Lily. He pulled Lily's hands off of his arm and hurried up to Dumbledore.
"Headmaster," he asked, "I was wondering if I could just say something to Calista."
"Remus," Lily began.
"I don't think--" Fudge started.
"All right Remus." Dumbledore's quiet acceptance shocked everyone.
"But Dumbledore," Fudge said, "that girl--"
"Two minutes," Dumbledore said firmly. "And we will be going in there with you, Mr. Lupin. I will take no more chances with the lives of my students."
"Yes, sir." Remus turned to Lily. "I just have to say one thing to her, Lil'. Then it's over."
"Fine," Lily said, "but I'm staying right here." She folded her arms and glared stubbornly at Remus, who laughed in spite of himself.
"You're a great friend Lily."
"I know." She winked at him and grinned, then nodded towards the door. "Get on with it then."
Remus took a deep breath and nodded at Lily, then to Dumbledore. Moody walked forward and opened the door.
"Oh my god."
"What?" Lily pushed herself forward until she was standing between Remus and Moody. "Holy --" Lily said a word she had never said before and didn't even care.
The sight would haunt Lily for the rest of her life. Flitwick's office was in complete shambles and the window was broken, pieces of glass and the window frame itself hung at strange angles. The three Aurors who had been left to guard Calista were dead, their glassy eyes staring at the ceiling. It looked like two had been killed by Avada Kedavra, but the third one (who was indeed familiar: he was a distant cousin of Calista's that she hadn't seen since she was eleven) had apparently put up a fight: he was bleeding in several places.
"Stab wounds," Moody said as he bent over the body.
Fudge was white and shaking, his hand covering his mouth. Dumbledore surveyed the room silently, his expression exquisitely sad, but quiet, as only Dumbledore could look. Lily reached out a hand blindly and Remus grabbed it tight, squeezing her fingers until they actually hurt but she didn't say anything.
"I think," Dumbledore said quietly, "that I need to take my students to their dormitory now. Alastor, I can leave you and Cornelius with this for now?"
"Of course." Moody nodded curtly at Dumbledore. Dumbledore turned to Remus and Lily, who could not take their eyes off of the massacre in front of them.
"Mr. Lupin, Miss Evan, come with me please." Dumbledore was firm; it was time to go. Lily was shaking, so Remus put his arm around her. He felt oddly numb, devoid of emotion. They went into the hallway and Dumbledore shut the door behind them.
"I am going to allow you to return to your friends tonight," Dumbledore said. "However, if either of you, indeed, if any of your friends should hear anything from or about Miss Serene, you must inform me immediately. Do you both understand?"
"Yes, sir," Remus said.
"She won't come after us," Lily said. "She'll leave us alone."
"Why do you think that, Miss Evans?"
Lily just looked at Remus. There are no ways to describe the look on his face. It was the final stab in a dying heart.
~~And you will weep when you face the end alone.
You are lost, you can never go home.
You are lost, you can never go home.~~
Bags were packed; the Leaving Feast had come and gone. Now, they simply waited until the sun rose, enjoying their last night at Hogwarts. Sirius, James, Remus and Peter had made one last secret trip to Hogsmeade and gotten as much as they could carry for the night, and for the trip home, which for four boys was quite a lot. They had the misfortune of being caught by Filch on the way upstairs, however ("Wouldn't you know, we get caught on our last run," Sirius had grumbled) but since they were now officially Hogwarts graduates, Filch could not punish them. He did, however, manage to confiscate the map, which Peter had let fall to the ground. The poor boy was thoroughly cursed by his three companions as they ran upstairs to Gryffindor Tower, but they got over it quickly due to high emotions of their last night at school.
They sat in a circle, James, Lily, Remus, Autumn, Peter and Sirius. They didn't leave room for anyone to come and join them. It was to be just them tonight.
"A drink," James said somberly, "for us. For the Marauders and our girls," he nodded to Lily and Autumn, who laughed and raised their butterbeers, "and for those who should be here and who aren't."
"Cheers," Sirius said.
"Cheers," Peter echoed. Everyone's bottles clanked together and they all took a solemn drink.
"Okay, we spent half of this year depressed," Sirius said. "A pact for the evening: PARTY!" He yelled the last word to the room at large and everyone laughed and agreed. It was a night for celebration, not mourning. There had been enough mourning.
"So, we're all good right?" James asked, looking pointedly at Lily as he said this.
"Yes," she said exasperatedly. "he's been like this for over two months," she murmured to Autumn.
"Closer to three," Autumn countered. "Ever since your little well deserved breakdown. Can you blame him?"
"No," Lily sighed. She watched him laugh with Sirius.
"I think it's cute," Autumn declared.
"What about you and Sirius?" Lily whispered.
"Long since done, Lily-girl. Some thing just weren't meant to be," Autumn said cheerfully.
"Well, you seem to have a good attitude about it," Lily said.
"Che sera, sera, Lily-bean!" Autumn raised her bottle, then proceeded to chug it contents in one gulp.
"Whatever will be--"
"-will be," they sang together before going into gales of laughter. They noticed all four boys giving them the strangest looks and laughed even harder.
"Women," Sirius shook his head and gulped his drink. "Can't live with `em--"
"Don't you finish that sentence," Lily warned.
"Peace, peace." Sirius held up his hands in surrender. He had long given up the pillow fight revenge when it came to Lily.
"Since everyone is so bleeding cheerful tonight," James said, "I'm going to give this one more try."
"Uh-oh," Sirius said as James gulped down the last of his butterbeer. "Jamsie, what're you thinking?"
"I'm scared," Remus said.
"Hold me," Autumn whimpered and she grabbed onto Remus like a lifesaver as they quivered in mock fear.
"Losers," James grumbled. He pulled out a very familiar small velvet box, which sent Autumn into screaming tangents. Remus clamped his hands over her mouth and wrestled her to the ground.
"Quick James! I can't hold her forever! Go man GO!"
Lily was smiling, but she cast a last glance at Sirius. He met her eyes and smiled at her. Lily beamed, knowing things would be all right between them. Oh Sirius, part of me will always love you. I wish I could tell you that. From the look on his face, she saw that he knew, just as she knew about him. Strange how things move on, she thought. A year ago, I hated them both and now I love them both. And one love I have to ignore, and that is somehow all right with both of us, even though we never talked about it. Life is strange.
"Lily," James started, but she cut him off.
"Yes," she said. James blinked in surprise.
"Do I even get to--?"
"Ouch!" Autumn had bitten Remus' hand and was squealing excitedly again as she tried to wrestle him off of her. Peter jumped over to help Remus pin her to the ground.
"Give her the ring, Prongs," Remus cried from somewhere between Autumn and Peter. "Just give her the ring!! AAUGH!!" The wrestlers rolled over and nearly tossed Remus into the fire. Peter's elbow caught Remus somewhere around his midsection and Autumn accidentally poked Peter in the eye.
"Help," Remus moaned. "Oh, my pancreas."
"Could you pick a more random organ?" Sirius laughed. (LMAO)
"Give me a minute and we'll see what I come up with," Remus grinned. "Why, hello Autumn. How ya doin?" They had rolled until Autumn was straddling Remus and Peter was hanging on Autumn's back.
"Too much weight," Remus cried.
"Tickle her, Pete!" Sirius yelled.
"Touch me and die," Autumn said instantly.
"I'm just following orders," Peter yelled.
"I am trying to have a romantic moment here people!" James cried, but he was laughing.
"Good luck with that, mate," Remus said as he tried to keep Autumn's hands away from his ribcage.
Lily laughed and clapped her hands. "We did the romance and I screwed it up, remember? My answer is yes, so stop torturing us all!" Lily threw her arms around James' neck and they tumbled to the floor, Lily planting butterfly kisses all over his face as they laughed.
"I hang out with the strangest people," Sirius laughed as he opened another round of butterbeers for everyone. He leaned back and surveyed his group of hysterical, wonderful friends. We'll be all right now, he thought. It won't be perfect, but it will be all right. We survived! We'll be fine now.
~Department of Mysteries. The Final Battle of Sirius Black~
Bellatrix's second jet of red light hit Sirius squarely in the chest. He didn't feel any pain, only surprise as he began to fall. He saw Dumbledore turn, saw Harry running out of the corner of his eye. He felt the fabric of the curtain begin to wash over him and he knew he was dead before he actually died.
I don't want to die, he thought hysterically. I'm not ready. It was much too late for any of that. He saw Remus' face, already mourning as he watched, helpless, as Sirius fell. My poor Moony. Take care of Harry for me, he thought, willing Remus to see his mind before the curtain brushed over his face. He heard Bellatrix screaming triumphantly, heard Harry screaming his name over and over and the world faded from color to gray to black as he fell behind the curtain.
Something caught him and Sirius stumbled backwards into someone's arms.
"Careful there, Padfoot." Sirius' breath would have caught in his throat except he realized quickly he was no longer breathing. He knew that voice, although he hadn't heard it for fourteen years.
"James?" Disbelief, but he turned and there he was, face to face with his best friend again. James' eyes were sad, but he was smiling. Sirius threw his arms around James and hugged with all of his might.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he was saying over and over.
"Shhh, Padfoot, it's all right now," James said soothingly. Sirius released him and stood back. James looked exactly the same as he did when Sirius had last seen him alive. Sirius looked behind him and saw to his surprise that the veil was gone. He could still hear the sounds of the battle; he recognized Remus screaming for Harry.
"James, Remus and Harry--"
"Are outside of our reach now," James said sadly. Sirius knew his eyes would be filled with tears, but the dead do not cry except under the most severe of circumstances.
"They'll be all right," James said. "Trust me."
"Are you sure?" Sirius was afraid for the people he had left behind.
James smiled, nodded and held out his hand. "Take my hand, Sirius. I came down here to get you, and its time to go now."
"Are they up there?" Sirius asked. "The others?"
"Almost everyone," James said. "You'll see when you get there. Just take my hand."
Sirius looked at James for a long time. The battle had faded; there were other sounds now, muted, far away and unimportant.
"The battle is long over. It's a regular work day now," James said, answering Sirius before he even spoke. "Tempus fugit."
"Time flies," Sirius said softly. "Well, lead on my friend." He placed his hand in James' and they began to walk together. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too. I'm glad you're here." James squeezed his hand.
"Will I get used to it?"
"Eventually."
Sirius began to get excited. He would get to see everyone again: Sara and Spike and Autumn and Lily. . . he had no idea what he would find when he arrived at his destination, but for the moment, being here with his best friend was more than enough, and he squeezed James' hand back as the sounds from the other world faded into nothing behind them.
THE END
For Kira and Tony
1980 - 2003 and 1976 - 2003
The story will be continued in `Return of the Shadow'
A/N: Well, my fine friends, we've reached the end of this tale! I can't believe it came upon us so fast! What a trip, huh? I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I shall be posting the sequel, Return of the Shadow, within the hour so we can get started on the next part of the story as soon as possible.
For those curious, Kira and Tony were two people I knew who were big Harry Potter fans. I met them when I started chemotherapy sessions a year and a half ago. Kiera gave me the Lily/Sirius idea, and Tony encouraged me to write it down. He also came up with the title. Both were enthusiastic editors and gave me much needed advice with the telling of this tale, which was actually meant to be much much shorter than it turned out.
Both Kiera and Tony have sinced passed away.
This was my first attempt at writing, ever, and so it has all the burdens of a first story and at times it rambles too much (just like me!) but I wouldn't change it now for anything.
And as always, please review. I do adore any comments I get, and have taken several to heart with some of my more recent writings.
-me
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