* * *
~ The Opposition ~
By: Oy! Angelina
* * *
After returning from the owlry to send out Frank's letter (and taking a quick look about for Lily), James finally entered the boys' dormitory and headed to his room. James noticed Remus's bed appeared to be as vacant and unused as his own and recalled not seeing him after his visit to the attic. Sirius and Peter were each sprawled across their beds fully clothed and completely unconscious in the wake of their binge drinking. Resisting the urge to kick both Padfoot and Wormtail, James gathered up a fresh change of clothes and made his way to the bathroom.
He found Remus in there shaving out of formality.
"Don't you look good." Remus commented sarcastically as he swished the razor blade under the pool of water at the bottom of the sink.
James said nothing as he threw his things over by the showers and angrily began to brush his teeth. Remus had been spared his emotional outburst with Sirius and Peter last night because he had been off doing whatever it was he had done all night. His ignorance of the reason behind James's foul mood only added fuel to the fire as far as James was concerned.
Remus took another glance at James before a questioning expression overtook his face.
"James, tell me something." Remus started. "If you weren't in your bed all night and you're wearing the same thing you were yesterday, where were you?"
"Lily's room." James grunted through his teeth with his toothbrush between them. Remus jerked, drawing a little blood from his cheek. Spinning on heel, he turned to his friend, wide eyed."
"James!" Remus gasped, half shocked, half impressed.
James spit out into the sink and glared at Remus.
"Oh, THAT'S what you think happened?" James chuckled with a humorless laugh. "Hmm, well possibly something along those lines may have transpired if a certain set of extraneous variables hadn't seen fit to introduce themselves into the equations. We'll call them Moony, Padfoot, and Wormtail for sake of reference."
Remus stared at James with a more than perturbed expression.
"What are you going on about, James?" Remus put his razor down and certainly of his friend's reach.
"So, which of you geniuses decided that I would make for an excellent DISTRACTION of Lily?" James asked pointedly. Remus went pale and felt his gaze advert to the side. James nodded.
"Ah." James resumed brushing his teeth.
"What happened, James?" Remus pressed. James spat out into the sink again, this time with a little blood from how furiously he'd been brushing.
"Sirius and Peter told Lily that I was supposed to distract her while they got half of Gryffindor drunk." James hissed. "You'll be pleased to know she's back to hating me. This time, she has a pretty good reason behind it."
Remus splashed some cold water on his face, rinsing off the lather and sending a shock to his system. Sighing, he looked back at James half drenched.
"Why would this make me happy?" Remus groaned. "Yes, it was technically my idea, I suggested that Lily go up and find you, but not on Sirius and Peter's behalf. I thought that if the two of you got yourselves alone for a bit maybe you'd come to whatever understanding you appeared to be on the verge of. It just happened to benefit our other friends as well if she was out of the common room."
"So you didn't send Lily up there just so Sirius and Peter could get the House smashed?" James asked flat out.
"I knew they were plotting something to the effect." Remus shrugged apologetically as he stared at his feet. "I figured I'd be helping all my friends with one stone. If I had known something this bad would have amounted from it, I wouldn't have done a thing, James. You know that."
James judged Remus's expression with hard eyes. Making a quick evaluation of Remus's overall character, James decided he was probably being sincere.
"Yeah, I know." James sighed as he finished up brushing. Remus put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'll talk to Lily, explain everything away." Remus informed. "This is my fault, no reason you should take the blame for any of it."
James shook his head as he wiped his mouth.
"I don't think it's quite that simple." James replied. "You'd only be solving half a problem for me."
"What HAPPENED James." Remus asked a second time, hoping he'd get a better account of what he had missed last night. James leaned against the sink and hung his head awkwardly.
"I kissed Lily. . . she kissed me too." James explained and Remus's eyes went wide but said nothing to interrupt. "We were getting along SO WELL but then I decided that I couldn't trust Lily as far as I could pitch her Prefect badge and threw up a wall between us. I realized I was a prat for it and was about to try and fix it as best I could when Sirius and Peter had to start blabbing about how I was some sort of a diversion. Lily thought everything between us was a lie. . .especially the part when I said I loved her."
Remus was blown away by all this and needed to lean on the sink as well.
"Wow." Remus breathed before looking at James. "Did you tell them?"
"Screamed it, more appropriately." James nodded. "I'm not really on speaking terms with our other friends at the moment. They were wankers but they didn't know what they were doing. I'll get around to forgiving them, I suppose."
"How about me?" Remus questioned without looking at James.
"You apologized and feel terrible for about. I can't ask more from you, can I?" James shrugged before his gave Remus a cock-eyed expression. "So how come YOU weren't in bed last night?" Remus rolled his eyes.
"Well my evening fell just above yours." Remus reported bitterly. "I got to hold Arabella's golden locks while she regurgitated her own body weight off that swill Sirius and Peter concocted and she was one of the luckier ones! I must have made liters of Pepper-up Potion just to keep our friends out of trouble, well assuming Lily doesn't turn us all over to McGonagall anyway. Frankly, they deserve no less."
It was then that Sirius staggered into the bathroom to shove his head under a sink and let the water wash over his head. Looking very much like hell, James would have felt sorry for his best friend under different circumstances. Pulling his soaked shoulder length hair from the sink, Sirius studied his friends with two accusing, bloodshot eyes.
"Could you guys keep it down?" Sirius requested curtly. "Some of us are waiting for the sweet release of death."
"Well the line starts somewhere behind me." James glared as Sirius.
"Well aren't WE in a mood." Sirius observed, apparently in one all his own.
"No thanks to you and Peter." Remus snorted.
"Oh, now you're going to start on me to." Sirius grunted. Remus and James exchanged irritable looks before they resumed glowering at Sirius.
"Of course I am." Remus's eyes flashed. "Arabella and half of Gryffindor spent the night sick as dogs because you and Peter are cheeky prats."
"Yeah well, I feel their pain." Sirius grumbled in self-pity.
"I could arrange for you to feel some new pain." James offered with narrowed eyes. "Because of the BRILLIANT mess you and Wormtail made for me, Lily refused to even come back to the dorms last night."
Already sour and glaring, Sirius somehow managed to make his face turn darker as he stared at James.
"You know, I think I reserve more than a little right to be upset too, considering my best friend decided to announce he was in love with the girl I've been pining for." Sirius informed with a growl. "I can't knock your taste in women, Prongs, but you couldn't have picked, oh let's say ANY OTHER GIRL TO DECLARE YOUR UNDYING LOVE TO?"
"I assure you, Sirius, if my position was a simple as you just described, we wouldn't even be bothering with this conversation." James frowned. "I've done nothing but try to respect you feelings for Lily since you've made them clear . . ."
"Oh trust me, it REALLY shows!" Sirius interrupted sarcastically.
"Don't be thick, Padfoot!" Remus jumped in. "James has been holding his tongue on the matter for months because he's so bloody loyal to you but you've been so caught up in yourself and your crush on Lily that you couldn't even catch on!"
"Nice to know which side of the fence you're leaning on, Moony." Sirius observed.
"Oh this isn't a matter of sides." Remus corrected. "You both should have had this conversation a long time ago; it's just a pity it had to come out in the open like this."
Sirius shifted his glare from Remus over to James.
"You know damn well how I feel about Lily Evans and how hard I've been trying to get into her good graces." Sirius said through his teeth. "This isn't some spot on the Quidditch team, PRONGS! I'm not going to be able to just wish you luck if you steal her out from under me!"
"And this isn't like calling the last bottle of butterbeer either, PADFOOT!" James insisted. "Just because you spoke up first doesn't make it the final word on the subject!"
"I don't want to compete with my BEST FRIEND over this." Sirius's voice was mixed between a warning and a plea. James sighed as he ran his hands through his hair, not taking his eyes off Sirius.
"Neither do I, Sirius." James felt his expression soften a bit. "But the only way that's going to happen is if you back down. Because I'm not."
"Because you can't or you won't?" Sirius asked as though it made a difference."
"I can't." James stated.
Sirius nodded as though this were the better of the two responses but still gave James a pointed look.
"And what makes you so sure I'm the one who should wash his hands of this?" Sirius demanded.
James took a deep breath before locking eyes with his friend.
"Because Lily kissed me." James admitted.
Sirius was struck with utter disbelief at this admission.
"BLOODY HELL, JAMES!" Sirius roared, furious. He pointed his finger at James as though it were a weapon. "I can't even LOOK at you right now!"
Sirius's head jerked towards Remus, who was privy to the same hostility as James.
"And what's YOUR position on the topic?" Sirius affirmed pointedly. "You condone this sort of backstabbing?"
Remus crossed his arms, angry that Sirius was turning this into a side's issue. The thing Remus had most wanted to avoid since he figured James and Sirius had feelings for the same girl was unfolding right before him and it was uglier than he could ever have anticipated. Still, Sirius had asked his stance and Remus felt obligated to reply.
"I stand by you should talk about this reasonably and come to the proper decision as friends should." Remus was tightlipped as he spoke.
"Which would be. . .?" Sirius baited.
"Fine." Remus determined there was little sense in sugar-coating the matter. "I think you should bow out in favor of James. I believe he's more sincere about his feelings for Lily and, most important, Lily seems to share them."
Sirius stared at James and Remus as though they had both teamed-up to slap him in the face. Roused by all the shouting, Peter poked his head into the bathroom, sweaty with rings under his eyes. He stared at his fellow Marauders and they observed his presence as well.
"What's going on in here?" Peter croaked out, almost afraid to ask.
"We appear to be picking sides because SOMEONE insists on being petty." Remus glared at Sirius.
"Umm. . .then whose side am I on?" Peter asked.
"Mine by default." Sirius informed since Remus appeared to be firmly rooted in James's camp and Peter had been apt to help him as of late.
"Do I have to?" Peter whined as he surveyed the room. "I mean I'm getting the distinct impression that I don't want to be."
"Well, I'll let you work that out for yourselves." James decided as he headed off to the showers. The other three boys busied themselves as best they could to get dressed for the day and packed for that evening without a word to one another.
* * *
It was near seven in the morning when Lily awoke. She felt by no means better than she had before falling asleep but felt slightly more refreshed all things considering. Blinking and slightly stretching, Lily realized where she was and felt more than embarrassed for nodding off in Snape's room. Acknowledging Lily's stirring, Snape closed a book in front of him and redirected his attention toward his guest.
"I'm sorry, Severus, I didn't realize I had fallen asleep." Lily hoped he didn't think she found him boring company because she had dozed off in mid conversation.
"You shouldn't apologize so readily." Snape advised. "It gives people the impression you're either inept or lack control over your own actions."
Good morning to you too. Lily thought as she sat up. Not certain if she wanted to be exposed to unadulterated Snape first thing in the morning, Lily rose and folded the blanket she had been under.
"Well, in any case, thank you for putting me up for the evening." Lily offered. "I really do appreciate it; however, I think I should head off to the Prefects bathroom and see if I left a change of clothes there."
"I'll escort you." Snape offered as he gathered a few books in hand. "I meant to return these to the library today and it's along my way."
Lily and Snape exited his room after checking to see if anyone was in the passageway first. Not only was it completely inappropriate for a male and female student to share quarters throughout the night (even if it was merely platonic and they were both Prefects) but it was also against school rules. That and Lily cringed at what fabricated accounts the school's rumor mill would undoubtedly produce. Snape had just finished locking his door when a couple Slytherin 1st Years came upon the scene. They glanced from their Prefect, to Lily, then to one another. Lily turned slightly so they wouldn't see her blush as she tried not to think about what they were probably assuming.
"I'll have to ask you to go on without me, Evans. It appears I'm about to be detained." Snape said under his breath, as his demeanor quickly became one of ice. Lily started to walk in the opposite direction; cognitive of what ugly scene was about to unfold.
Stalking over to his now nervous looking charges, Snape loomed over the eleven year olds like a dark omen. If the sight of their sneering Prefect wasn't enough to thoroughly intimidate the two Slytherin, the knowledge that Snape knew more hexes coming into Hogwarts and most students did coming out certainly did.
"If you were asked to recall anything interesting this morning, your replies would be. . .?" Snape eyes shifted over the two like a black pendulum.
"Nothing." The evidently bolder of the two choked out.
"How perceptive of you." Snape observed. "After all, who has the time to discuss a school Prefect's personal affairs when the Forbidden Forest is being searched from weed to werewolf for the remains of two unfortunately curious 1st Year students?
The two Slytherins were paler than Snape had ever managed. Snape arm swept out of his robes, causing the 1st Years to recoil in fright as he gestured down the hall.
"You. Are. Excused." Snape hissed and the two Slytherins needed no further invitation. A faint grin tugged at Snape's lips as he made his way to the library.
* * *
Navigating their way to the Great Hall for breakfast, Peter had an intense headache that he wasn't sure he could attribute exclusive to his hangover in good conscious. Sirius had just got done explaining the situation to him and though shocked by everything he had heard, the last thing Peter wanted was to be warring with half his best friends.
"I say we all sit down with a large stack of pancakes and work out our differences as mates." Peter voted without Sirius even asking his opinion on the matter. Making a disgruntled noise, Sirius glared down at Peter.
"After what I just told you!?" Sirius exclaimed. "How do you expect me to just turn my cheek to all this?"
"I was kind of hoping graciously. . ." Peter admitted pathetically. "We shouldn't be fighting like this! Come on Sirius, be the bigger man. Be happy for James, if he's truly your best friend like you claim him to be."
"You think James has been acting like a friend to me?" Sirius demanded.
"I think James has been acting like a loon lately, personally!" Peter replied. "In the very least he hasn't been himself. Ask yourself, Padfoot, what else could be ruffling our James's feathers so much unless he was really in love? Can you honestly say that Lily's had the same effect over YOU?"
Peter didn't know if that was the right thing so say and Sirius's grim silence as they entered the Great Hall did little to ease his mind. Dragging themselves over to the Gryffindor House table, the two boys found James and Remus already there and eating.
Sirius and James sat on a diagonal from one another and refused to make eye contact. Both Peter and Sirius helped themselves to some dry toast and unsweetened tea. They seemed to be positively exhausted, nauseous, and winced at the slightest elevation in noise
James hoped it was actually more horrible than it looked.
"Um, so are you guys not talking to me as well?" Peter stole a wary glance of Remus as he mumbled under his breath.
"For the time being, Peter." Remus affirmed while wolfing down his eggs.
"Because I'm with Sirius now?" Peter hesitantly questioned.
"Nooo, because you were with Sirius LAST NIGHT." Remus corrected. "You damn near poisoned half of Gryffindor with your wretched mixture."
"Oh that!" Peter said almost brightly since his friends had a legitimate cause to be cross with him. "Do I have to apologize for that? I mean it's the only decent thing I've ever brewed in Potions."
"There was nothing decent about the foul mix." Remus informed with a haunted expression as he recalled the evening before. "And most certainly not when it's working its way back up. . ."
James had been ignoring the fraternizing of sides since he was only moderately angry with Peter all things considering. He was about to butter his second helping of toast when he saw Lily enter into the Great Hall. She scanned the table, evidently to see if James was seated there. When she caught him looking at her, Lily turned on her heel and marched right back out the Great Hall.
"Wait. . .HOLD ON THERE!" James called out as he jumped up on and over the breakfast table, flipping a plate of eggs and bacon onto Remus as he vaulted. James didn't look back as he sprinted toward the doorway in spite of Professor McGonagall and some other members of the faculty calling after him.
As Remus picked off the clumps of food in front of a snickering Sirius, Peter and couple other Gryffindors, he chuckled humorlessly as he ground his teeth.
"He had BETTER be in love!" Remus muttered irritably before turning his eyes on Peter and Sirius. "That funny to you two?"
"Just a bit." Sirius nodded with a smug expression.
"I think I just found my new thought for the Patronus Charm." Peter grinned.
Remus smiled as he pulled two sterling plates to him and slammed them together like cymbals between Sirius and Peter's ears. The loud clang emitted throughout the dinning hall and undoubtedly complicated Sirius and Peter's splitting headaches. Miserable and wincing, Peter and Sirius were glowering at Remus most unappreciatively.
"I think that will serve well as mine!" Remus announced as he placed the plates down with a satisfied smirk.
The sound of a clearing throat drew the eyes of the three boys as they noticed a most displeased Professor McGonagall peering down at them from over her spectacles.
"I hope there is most assuredly an inventive reason behind this choice in dinning etiquette for several 6th Year students." Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow.
"Absolutely." Sirius agreed in an awkward but respectful tone. "Could I request a brief meeting of the minds so we can work out something plausible?"
McGonagall kept her lips tightly pressed together, but a flicker of amusement caught her eye. Of all the Hogwarts students she had come to reprimand and discipline over her years as Deputy Headmistress, few had so numerously warranted (never mind entertained) her as much as these four Gryffindor boys.
"A reasonable request, Mr. Black." McGonagall beckoned for the three boys of her House to rise and follow her. "Let us find our Mr. Potter since I trust you'll be wanting his input on the matter."
All exhaling, the three boys abandoned their place at the table and expected the usual earful in McGonagall's office.
* * *
James had caught up to Lily just outside the Hall. To her credit, Lily attempted to move past James as deliberately as she could but the Quidditch Chaser proved that he wasn't only quick on his broom. Unable to sidestep him, Lily burned her green eyes into James as she faced him.
"What?" Lily demanded curtly. Figuring she wouldn't give him much of an opportunity to speak, assuming she did at all, James went straight into his explanation.
"I waited all night in your room just for the chance to talk to you." James blurted out. Lily made a disapproving face as she rolled her eyes.
"You've certainly begun to make yourself comfortable in there, haven't you?" Lily commented dryly, her expression looked as though it were carved from stone. James was disappointed at the direction this was taken. "So what did you want? To plead upon your friends' behalf so I wouldn't turn the lot of you in for your abysmal behavior?"
"I don't care about any of that." James replied, shaking his head. "You do whatever you need to do, Lily. Sirius and Peter were prats for doing it and Remus and I should have put our foots down when we suspected they were up to something."
"I knew YOU'D understand my position as a Prefect, James." Lily nodded curtly as she started to walk off, but James blocked her way once more.
"This isn't what I wanted to talk about, Lily." James pleaded.
"We'll this is the only conversation you're getting." Lily informed with a hiss. "After how you and your friends embarrassed me, don't you expect any sudden courtesies!"
"That's what I want to talk about!" James breathed. "There are things that happened last night that I most sincerely regret, but not all of them are my fault! I can't just go about my normal life if I don't clear some of the air between us first. All I'm asking is for you to hear me out and then you can go back to hating me if that's what you want to do."
"Oh there's a surprise. James Potter wants things on HIS terms." Lily sarcastically observed. "Considering what you got off me last night, you'll forgive me if I have little desire to give you any further satisfaction."
Lily brushed past James as she headed up the main corridor. Hearing her footsteps echo against the stone, James closed his eyes to take a breath and compose himself. He didn't want to risk loosing his temper and Lily certainly wasn't making that any small feet for him to accomplish. Still, he couldn't relent until Lily knew the truth about last night and from there. . .well, James would just have to see when he got there.
Just as he felt he was prepared to head back into the fray, a dry and cold voice lashed out behind James.
"Well isn't that interesting?"
Although it was completely superfluous, James turned to confirm the owner of the voice was, in fact, Snape. He held his hands behind his back. James didn't like the idea of not being able to see what was up Snape's sleeve.
"I had initially assumed Black was the one responsible for Evans' emotional unrest." Snape mused as he took a step toward James. "Rather foolish of me in hindsight considering this whole situation bares the stench of your awkward touch, Potter."
"As much as I'd treasure dating tips from Severus Snape: The Casanova of Hogwarts, I'll somehow manage on my own." James quipped with narrowed eyes. Snape was seemed a little too amused by all this for James liking and was suspicious of what prompted such confidence.
"Oh I think you could stand to take a pointer or two from me, Potter." Snape disagreed with a cruel smile. James had no idea what the hell Snape was talking about but didn't like what he was alluding to.
"Something on you mind, Snape or, more appropriately, on the tip of your forked tongue?" James demanded. "As you may have noticed, I'm a little to preoccupied to deal with your game of innuendos."
Snape sneered before tilting his head at James.
"Come now, Potter. Where's the sport in that?" Snape questioned.
"If there's anything in particular that you're looking to unburden yourself of, Snape, out with it!" James snapped irritably. He knew that shouting out meant he losing this game with Snape, but James was much too tired and high strung to care at this point.
"As much as I'd love to see the expression on your face after such a revelation, I'm afraid there are reputations to be maintained here." Snape chided in a mocking tone. James was about to spit out a particularly nasty retort when a stern voice from behind caused him to go rigid.
"James Potter!" Professor McGonagall called to him with the remaining Marauders in toe. James sighed as the Head of his House more than put an end to his exchange with Snape.
"Looks like I'm done with your mind games for today, Snape." James informed under his breath as he headed toward the deputy Headmistress. "See you in Potions then."
"Very well." Snape smugly relented. "If you happen to misplace me, Potter, just look for where Lily Evans is seated."
James nearly missed a step at that last jibe but refused to give Snape the satisfaction. As he allowed McGonagall to whisk him and his friends down the hall, James entertained fantasies of what he would have said or done to Snape in her absence. For his part, Snape entered the Great Hall, reveling in his guilty pleasure with a satisfied expression.
* * *
After a twenty-minute lecture on proper conduct (which was practically a social call considering the usual reasons the Marauders were typically called before McGonagall to discuss), the four boys were assigned to cleaning the Transfiguration room as well as the cages and animals within. All of this was meant to teach the Gryffindors that every mess made required someone to clean it up and all of this was conducted under Professor McGonagall's watchful eye in between her preparations for tomorrow's lesson. Although it had not been specified, the boys worked in silence. Just before noon, Professor McGonagall dismissed the Marauders from their service to her with the parting observation of:
"My, I don't believe you four have ever been this silent in my presence!"
Peter and Sirius directed themselves toward the Great Hall for lunch, as they had eaten very little that morning and had their appetites return under their labor. James asked Remus to check and see if Lily was in the Gryffindor common room, while he searched to see if she happened to be in the library, to which he agreed. After spending nearly half an hour investigating Lily's usual haunts, James worked his way back to Gryffindor tower where he found Remus studying his Defense Against the Dark Arts text on a couch with some younger Year students milling about.
"She's not here, mate." Remus reported. James nodded and took a chair across from his friend.
"Didn't find here either." James sighed.
"She'll turn up." Remus assured. "Arabella's still under the weather."
"Paid her a visit, hmm?" James asked rhetorically.
"Yeah, poor girl is bed ridded." Remus explained. "I left her with a pot of tea for when she's up to it. She's perks up every so often when she starts wishing ill on Sirius and Peter's heads."
"Don't we all?" James leaned into his hand.
"I think it would bring her a little more cheer if you stopped in for a visit." Remus suggested. "Arabella still fancies you, told me so amidst her purging."
"Nice to know what circumstances usually brings me into a girl's conversation." James groaned slightly amused, before his expression dropped. "Bloody hell, I still have to tell her, don't I?"
"Not unless you want me to join Team Sirius." Remus shot a deliberate look toward James, which caused his friend to recoil.
"Don't worry, I have every intention!" James guaranteed. "You'll understand if I would prefer to wait until she's up to taking the news?"
"I suppose." Remus said stiffly. "Just don't wait too long on this. Not if you have every intention of chasing Lily about Hogwarts."
"We've got to set out in a couple of hours." James referred to Hogsmeade and the Shrieking Shack. "You reckon Padfoot and Wormtail will be accompanying us?"
"They packed for it this morning." Remus recalled with a shrug, before he jerked to attention and pointed for James's benefit. Lily had entered into the common room. Spying the two boys, Lily threw her length of red hair over her shoulder as she made swift strides for the dormitory stares. Continuing the proud tradition of furniture hoping he had founded that day, James leapt over the chair and barricaded himself in front of the stairwell so quickly that Lily almost slammed into him.
"Move." Lily ordered.
"You and I NEED to talk." James insisted defiantly, both their eyes shifted towards the other faces in the room that had started to take an interest in their conversation.
Clearing his throat as he relinquished his spot on couch, Remus gestured for the other Gryffindors present to follow him.
"Come along now, let's play a round of eye-spy with the Fat Lady Portrait shall we?" Remus called. Bill Weasley shot Remus a look as though he were mad.
"What kind of ruse you think you're getting away with, Lupin?" Weasley retorted in a huff. Remus started to pull him along by the arm as the others simply followed him.
"A very obvious one. Fast track to Headboy, young Weasly, what with a keen wit like that!" Remus grinned as he left the common room to Lily and James.
"Fine, Potter, talk fast." Lily relented now that they were alone.
"I know what you must be thinking about what happened last night, Lily." James began in quick breaths. "But what happened in the attic has nothing, NOTHING to do with Sirius and Peter. It was an entirely separate affair."
"Oh please. Let me guess what this is about." Lily sneered. "You four need to divert my attention once again and since you were so wildly successful last time around - "
"That's just it, Lily. I had no idea." James interrupted. "I was as clueless as you about what they were prattling on about."
"So know you're going to try and convince me that what happened last night was somehow orchestrated by your friends?" Lily's tone was one of utter disbelief.
"Absolutely not." James shook his head. "I take full responsibility for everything that transpired between us upstairs: both the good and the bad. Anything past that was a complete misunderstanding. What happened was Remus gave Sirius and Peter the impression that he had sent you off so you wouldn't interrupt their very stupid scheme. After that, well, they decided it would be grand fun to make an ass out of me while they were at it themselves. I'm more than cross with Peter and Sirius at the moment, but if you talk to any of my friends, I'm sure they'd confirm that we didn't come up with anything like that before hand."
"Oh, and I should believe your friends?" Lily commented skeptically.
"Yeah! I swear that we didn't sit around, brewing up plans to. . .er. . ." James felt more than awkward for saying this and began running his hand through his untamed hair as proof. ". . .um. . .well. . .seduce you or anything." James finished quietly.
"So what? Came up with that all on your own then?" Lily pressed and watched James turn red and resume stroking his hair.
"Bloody hell, Lily!" James muttered more than flustered. "Given my overall approach to perusing you, do you really give me the credit of having the mental faculties to properly seduce ANYONE?!"
Lily was tempted to laugh at how seemingly insecure James was behaving, but refused to let him win her over with this schoolboy ploy.
"Alright, assuming you weren't trying to seduce me and you had nothing to do with Black and Pettigrew's thoughtlessness that doesn't really leave us any better off." Lily replied.
"But it makes all the difference in the world!" James persisted. "What happened last night, before all this sordid business, isn't that more than enough reason to try for something, Lily?"
"Then tell me, James," Lily locked eyes with him as she spoke. "Do the same rules still apply? You're planning to either lie or omit truths to me every time it happens to overlap with ones involving your friends?"
James sighed realizing he hadn't thought that far ahead. Once again on the spot, James tried to craft some sort of reasonable compromise between his two very strong convictions: his affections for Lily and those of his friends.
"It's just not fair of you to ask me, Lily." James commented. "You're insisting that I choose between whether I'm loyal to you or my friends. I mean, we only get pinched for HALF the stuff we pulled off and the rest is just hanging over our heads looking for the first opportunity to come crashing down. I'm not saying it would be your intentions, but if certain things about myself, Sirius, Remus, or Peter ever hit the surface . . .we'd be facing expulsion or worse!"
"Are you telling me you're what, some kind of criminal?" Lily reeled slightly at James's sudden confession. James threw his hands up before him and started to violently shake his head in protest.
"No! We're not Death Eaters or anything like that!" James cringed at the thought. "We're just . . .well, four people who've had our lives needlessly complicated by one means or another. The sort of stuff not everyone would approve of or understand."
Figuring that James was being more or less sincere with her did little to soften Lily's resolve. She shook her head as she peered at James.
"You're right when you say it's not fair for me to make you choose between me and your friends." Lily relented. "If you're protecting them from things half as serious as you let on, then you're probably doing the right thing. But how can you just expect me to compromise my position? Maybe you could have a relationship with someone without a thought to intimacy, but I can't. I can't care for someone unwaveringly and be constantly suspicious of them at the same time. Love is trust, James."
James hated that she had a point because it made him helpless to argue against it.
"So then what do you want to do?" James asked at a complete loss.
"I think we should just part ways and leave everything between us to what may have been." Lily sighed.
James heard this but could not accept it. He knew Lily cared about him and so long as that was there, so was hope that they could work past this somehow in the end. James knew he was being stubborn and relentless about this whole situation and he knew even more that Lily was to blame.
After all, he wouldn't be acting like this if she wasn't completely worth it.
"If you think telling me that you've given up on us is going to be enough to dissuade me, Lily, you're dead wrong." James stated adamantly. "All that means is I have to try twice as hard to make it work."
"And what makes you so sure it can?" Lily countered. "When we both know neither one of us is going to budge a millimeter?"
"Because I WAS THERE last night." James replied. "And I know what I felt. And I know you felt it to."
More than tired of James's badgering, Lily took a step towards James with a flare in her eyes.
"You have no idea what I felt." Lily insisted pointedly. "So don't presume to tell me otherwise." But James just shook his head at this.
"Oh yes I do." James argued as he leaned in close to Lily. "I know you want and need me in every way I want and need you. And if you want to know how I can be sure of all this, it's because of how you kissed me back."
Failing to find an appropriate retort, Lily simply glared at James. James stared back with a firm and sincere quality to his eyes. He was certain of his case and wouldn't let anyone; least of all Lily, talk him out of it. Growing tired of their staring contest Lily broke away.
"I have things to do." Lily announced as she attempted to brush past James. She hadn't even reached the first step when she felt James grab her by the elbow and whispered into her ear.
"I have every intention of fighting for you, Lily." James assured in a voice that was honest and kind. "And I have every intention to win. Even if you are the opposition."
"Take your hand off me of I won't leave you with enough fingers to work a wand." Lily ordered from over her shoulder, but found it hard to keep the stern expression over her face. James smiled awkwardly and let her go before giving a small wave and walking off. Lily lingered there for a moment and sighed. She realized James wasn't going to make this easy on her but had to ask herself why he should.
After all, Lily remembered that kiss too.
* * *
Under the cover of the invisibility cloak, James, Sirius, and Remus made their way over to the Whomping Willow with Peter racing up ahead in his rat form. An awkward silence hung between the three as none dared to start a conversation out of fear of an argument starting underneath the cloak. As Wormtail deactivated the tree for the other boys to enter through, the remainder of the Marauders threw off the magical shroud. James trusted his cloak at Sirius gruffly.
"Here. You'll need this to sneak about the castle for the Hogsmeade passage." James offered and Sirius silently accepted before disappearing beneath it.
The boys had prearranged for Peter and Sirius to stop off at Honeydukes in the few hours they had before nightfall to gather some supplies while James made sure Remus got to the Shack alright before his change set in. Afterwards, Sirius and Peter would just use the cloak to sneak across Hogsmeade and meet up with their friends.
Overall, both parties were content with this plan since they were still quarreling and could use the time apart to sort out their feelings. If not for the fact they had been such close friends for so long and valued their sense of obligation to one another, James figured it would have only been him and Moony at the Shrieking Shack that evening. This knowledge in and of itself provided a hope that they all would be able to resolve some of their more bitter feelings in short time.
Remus and James entered into the dim tunnel and heard Wormtail activate the tree above them. As they journeyed though the uneven passage, Remus started up a conversation.
"Okay, from the beginning, what's going on with you and Lily?" Remus asked. "I got the abridged version this morning but I know there's a lot more to it than that."
"Much." James agreed before going into his long-winded explanation about his ironic concern for his and Sirius's friendship, admitting that it had been Lily's room he had stayed in that entire first night back (and the subsequent reason for their feud three weeks after), when he realized he had feelings for her, and when he first tried to get Lily to kiss him. After that, there was the entire misunderstanding with James believing Arabella and Sirius were looking to go together and her pursuit of him several weeks later until they settled upon what seemed to be a friendship over all.
"You've certainly crafted a complicated life for yourself." Remus marveled as he relived the past two months with James.
"The most dramatic of it all was last night." James sighed as he recalled the evening. "We were talking. I mean, REALLY talking and listening to one another, Moony. For a girl I've only bothered to get to know in the past year or so, Lily really knows me."
"More so than myself and the other Marauders?" Remus was curious. James shook his head.
"It's not the same sort of thing." James clarified. "It's hard to explain. I guess there are just ways your friends are supposed to understand you and ways lovers are supposed to."
"Never liked that word." Remus made a disapproving face. "'Lover'. It always seemed like something you'd apply to a frequent shag rather than a person you care about." Remus had a point.
"You're right, not lover." James agreed somewhat flustered. "I don't think of Lily like that. Well, I do but that's not the only way I think about her. Oh, we're getting off conversation with this!"
"Who cares? I want to keep with this one!" Remus grinned. "Sounds like it's going to interesting place." Remus laughed with James.
"Well too bad!" James slightly blushed. "My love life's one thing to talk about, my sex life; however, is not public domain."
"Alright then, if we're not going to be randy then get on with your story." Remus sighed. James nodded.
"Anyway, we were talking, then Lily took my hand." James went on. "I don't know why she did it, but she had. Lily made the first move."
"Wow." Remus said slightly stunned. He always knew Lily to be assertive and self-reliant, but he had assumed that James would be the first of them to make a move. It just seemed to be more in his nature.
"After that . . .I don't know, Remus . . ." James ran his hand through his hair unconsciously. "After that I HAD to kiss her. Not because I wanted to do it, but because it was the only thing I COULD do."
"I'm not following." Remus shook his head.
"I don't think I can explain it." James shrugged. "All I can say is that you end up falling into these moments of your life with other people and it all seems like one big play. As though, you don't really have a choice in what you're doing since that's just how it was meant to be. Last night, I think I was meant to kiss Lily because when I looked at her and saw how both stunningly perfect and tragically human she was all at once . . .I just want to be like that with her."
"I think you explained it pretty well there, Prongs." Remus approved with a small smile. "So then what happened? I mean, what went wrong?"
James cringed as the happy emotions he had when he thought about that kiss with Lily changed over to all the turmoil that followed. Going into detail about how he had to choose between revealing the existence of the invisibility cloak or to confide completely in Lily and how that had caused her to storm out into the misunderstanding with Sirius and Peter. Along with the utter lack of resolution he had achieved that day, James felt exhausted and frustrated all over again.
"And you told her you loved her." Remus added, remembering the conversation from that morning. James was shocked that he had forgotten that part when going over the story and felt guilty for it.
"Right . . ." James adverted his eyes. "Damn, what does it say about me that I completely forgot to mention that part?"
"Probably not the angst-ridden reason you're mind is conjuring." Remus replied. "I'm not saying that you don't love Lily or that you were lying when you said it the last night, but well, love's a hard thing to know. I just think you and Lily need a few more civil conversations and a lot more happy days to know for certain or not."
"So I'm not a horrible prat for saying it if that's the case?" James inquired. Remus only shook his head.
"Not in my mind." Remus assured. "Besides, it's not like you'd be the first teenager in history to jump the wand when it came to saying those three magic words."
"Okay, but what do you think overall?" James pressed. He needed to here some perspective other than his own toiling mind, since it was obviously leading him nowhere productive. Remus was silent for a minute as he mulled over his friend's predicament. Finally reaching a conclusion that seemed to correlate with everything he's seen and heard Remus turned to James.
"I've decided that you're an idiot, James."
Raising an eyebrow to Remus, James crossed his arms.
"If you're done channeling Snape, I'd appreciate a little insight here." James glared.
"What do you want me to say, James?" Remus rolled his eyes. "That you did everything right? That you did everything wrong? Simply put, you know where you made your mistakes in all this. That sort of awareness will be your best advantage in winning over Lily. Now here's the hard part for you: you're going to need patience, resilience, and sincerity if you have any hope of succeeding."
"But what about all the secrets between us?" James demanded.
"What about them?" Remus groaned. "Look, if you think she's worth it, if you really want to have a chance with her, tell her every last bloody thing she wants to know, James! Show her the cloak, tell her you're an animage, tell her I'm a werewolf! Make her the fifth Marauder for all I care!"
James prepared to protest, but Remus put his hands on both of James shoulders and peered into his friend's eyes.
"Lily's might be a Prefect, but she's Lily Evans first and foremost." Remus broke it all down. "The Lily Evans I know is a trustworthy, decent human being whom I sincerely doubt would ever do anything to intentionally hurt or exploit another person. And you might very well love her for this and more. If she'd make you sincerely happy, James, I don't think ANY person who'd claim to be your friend would ask you to betray your heart on their behalf."
Remus patted James on the shoulder.
"I wouldn't." Remus offered a halfway smile.
James felt as though a darkness had been lifted from over his head. Remus was absolutely right. James knew that he would have the help and support of all his friends if he asked for it. He also knew they would probably be thrilled for him if they knew how serious he was about all this. While these were all things James should have known, he was grateful he had Remus to remind him of them.
"You know, thank you Moony." James grinned appreciatively.
With that, the two trekked on to the Shrieking Shack to meet up with their other friends.
* * *
As it drew near lights out, Lily Evans and Severus Snape made their final sweeps as Prefects together through the castle halls. A light exchange of conversation flowed between them as they kept an eye out for any students still roaming.
"You don't suppose James and the others will be careless enough for us to come across them." Lily asked as her emerald eyes darted.
"Gone missing again, I assume?" Snape inquired. He was more than aware of the monthly excursions Potter and his friends enjoyed. It had been his mission for the past few years to uncover whatever it is they were up too and the most his investigations had ever gleaned was there secret had something to do with the Whomping Willow.
"I've mentioned it to Professor McGonagall since I can't imagine they're up to any good, but if they've ever been reprimanded for leaving I hear nothing about it." Lily reported.
"What about the incident last night?" Snape pressed.
"I'm sweeping that under the rug." Lily admitted reluctantly. "Not as any favor to James or his friends. I just don't want to lose any standing in McGonagall's eyes. I was going to work out some sort of in-House penance for them in exchange for my silence tonight, but they've gone and decided to spirit themselves off."
"I can understand your need to maintain your image." Snape observed. "I probably would have handled the situation similarly, though more assuredly harsh."
"Well, I doubt we will ever truly see eye to eye in our philosophies as Prefects, hmm?" Lily smiled acceptingly. "That begs the question: why did you become a Prefect. Fancy bossing people around?"
"That's merely one of the perks." Snape demonstrated the faintest grin.
"Then what is it?" Lily persisted.
"It's simply a means to a larger end." Snape replied. "I've grown more than tired of that smug prat Potter strutting about as though he owned the school with his cohorts in toe. They're begging for someone to put them in their places and since no one else cares to take that task upon themselves, I have."
"You became a Prefect just to try and get James and the others in trouble or expelled?" Lily questioned astounded. Snape merely shrugged. "Don't you find that to be a bit petty?"
"Well then please share your altruistic motive for becoming a Prefect." Snape insisted curtly.
"Well, it's nothing particularly noble." Lily confessed. "I suppose I just have this compulsion to prove myself in the eyes of everyone. Like you, it's just a means to an end."
"For what it may be worth, you have my respect regardless of whether or not you wear that badge." Snape offered staring on.
"Thank you Severus." Lily smiled. "It's more than mutual on my end."
Snape suddenly stopped walking and Lily paused with him. His black eyes bore into Lily's as he spoke.
"Lily." Snape began. He spoke her first name as though trying it out for the first time. "I feel obliged to ask you something in spite of all my better judgment."
"Go on." Lily encouraged more than curious.
"The Yule Ball's a month's time away." Snape led in. It seemed to Lily as though Snape somehow became more hardened looking as he talked. As though bracing himself against something. "Although I'd achieve a better sense of recreation at Azkaban, you know as well as I all Prefects are required to attend. As such, I was wondering if you would allow me to escort you there since, if my presence must be forced, I'd prefer to have a person whom I regard as a third of the intelligent population at this school as my company."
Finished supporting his argument, Snape waited for her reply.
Although she was more than stunned by this, Lily maintained an undaunted air about her as he mind reeled. Was this merely what Snape said it was and all he wanted was a companion for the evening that he could feign civility to? Lily found this more than plausible since Snape didn't appear to seek out anyone's company and appeared to speak with her more out of convenience than anything else. Or had she misinterpreted their relationship all together? The idea that Snape possessed even the most remote amount of romantic interest in anyone hadn't even crossed Lily's mind before this moment. After all, he seemed to go well out of his way to make it clear that he valued his privacy and had little care for the company of others. Growing irritable in her silences, Snape exhaled through his nose.
"It's a simple yes or no question." Snape's tone was aloof, but he seemed slightly defensive. "In either regard, do me the courtesy of responding without any long-winded explanations or rationalizations. I despise it when you make unnecessary apologies."
Still wondering if Snape was being completely forthright with her, Lily recognized that she had yet to acquire a date for the ball and had even forgotten about it altogether with the drama of her life as of late. When she had thought about it, Lily half expected she's attend with either James or Sirius just because that seemed to be the most natural option but now she wasn't sure how she felt about either those scenarios all things considering. While she was fond of Snape in a certain manner, she had never in her wildest of thoughts saw them attending a function like the Yule Ball together.
Realizing that she was stalling, Lily decided that Snape did deserve the respectful response he had requested; Lily parted her lips to give her reply.
* * *
* * *
Ah! Evil Cliffhangers. I guess I wanted to see if some people stewed over this in their reviews of this chapter, bwa-ha!
* * *
Everything You Want
By: Vertical Horizon
* * *
Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh, and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why
But under skinned knees
And the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another
Wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for
Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you
And I don't know why
And I don't know
Why
Why
And I don't know