* * *
~ Deperire ~
By: Oy! Angelina
* * *
Passion coursed through Lily and James with the vitality of a flame over dry wood, consuming and intensifying. At some point during the kiss, James had released the side of Lily's face to use both his hands to pull her closer to him. Practically cradling Lily against him, James began to run his hand over her face, through her hair, and along the length of her frame. Although overwhelmed in his euphoric moment with Lily Evans, James refused to move his hands anywhere that would be considered a violation of trust.
For her part, one of Lily's hands roamed aimlessly around his back as if afraid he would suddenly pull away while the other gripped his arm tightly as though to hold on. Soft moans in the forms of breaths passed between their lips and after a few minutes of this, the two finally broke apart.
At first they did nothing but breathe and stare into one another's faces. James kept tracing Lily's features with his fingertips and as he gazed at her as though he had never seen anything like Lily before. Slowly, Lily propped herself up on one of her arms, still fixated on James. It was in a shaky breath that she finally broke the silence.
"That was . . ." Lily breathed as though a compliment. She recognized how stupid it sounded, but so are most exchanges of dialogue before and after a first amazing kiss.
"Yeah . . ." James agreed as he nuzzled against her neck before slowly kissing it. Lily closed her eyes, feeling herself being pulled back to the eagerness of the moment that had never quite passed. She heard James speak in whispers near her ear.
"Two months . . . that's for how long I've been wishing and agonizing over whether this would happen." James confessed. "It was worth it . . . I would have waited longer . . ."
Lily felt herself blushing, the things James was doing to her physically and emotionally was catching the words in her throat.
"When did you first realize?" She asked, mind spinning.
"The first night back." James replied hoarsely. "I watched you for eight hours . . . I couldn't stop thinking about you throughout the entire night and never could after."
Reeling, Lily felt James against the nape of her neck, shifting hair out of her way. His words only barely registered with her.
"But how could you?" Lily tried to focus. "How could you have been there? I could never figure it out." That had been the mystery in Lily's mind and though she had been tempted more than once to ask James where he had been hiding, she retrained herself out of fear of what it would do to their tenitive friendship.
James was so enraptured with kissing and caressing Lily that he almost told her about the invisibility cloak. Licking his lips and Lily's neck in the process, James wondered if he should…if he could? So much of what the Marauders did depended on the invisibility cloak and the cloak was only effective so long as no one knew it existed. Lily was still a Prefect and James was unsure of how she would use the information if given to her. What if revealing the existence of the cloak betrayed Remus's or led Lily to his dangerous secret. What if it betrayed all his friends? Realizing that he couldn't tell Lily, James hoped she wouldn't pursue the subject.
"Is it important to know that?" James breathed, running his lips over her flesh
"Yes." Lily gasped.
"Why does it matter?"
"Because then I'll know."
"Know?"
"That you trust me . . . with all the things in your life that you trust Sirius and Remus and Peter with."
James pulled away from Lily's neck to look into her eyes while stroking the side of her face. He stared at her with a pleading expression.
"Please, I will tell you anything and everything about me." James vowed. "But don't ask me to tell you about things that involve my friends. Don't ask for secrets that aren't mine to give."
Lily's eyes were locked on James, studying his expression. Studying his sincerity. Slowly, she pulled away from his embrace, away from him. James made no effort to hold her there but felt her slip out literally beneath his touch.
"And in the end, I'll always be the opposition." Lily said more to herself than James. "I will always be a Prefect first and foremost." James breathed deeply at this, feeling as though the ground just gave way.
"I just CAN'T incriminate my friends, Lily." James explained. "Anything, ANYTHING about me is yours to know. Please don't ask me to betray the trust of the three most important people in my life just so I can earn the trust of the person I love."
That final word hung in the air, freezing both Lily and James in a gapping silence. "Had he meant it?" was the thought both their minds struggled with. Swallowing hard, James took Lily's face into his hand once more.
"I'm in love you." James decided in a whispered.
Lily pulled away, staggering to her feet. James followed right after her, close enough to watch the tear race from her eye but not near enough to catch it.
"But you don't trust me." Lily nodded, with her lip quivering as she ran for the door. Panicked at how sharply all their emotions had just turned, James threw himself after Lily, slamming the door shut just as she had started to open it.
Lily turned to face James, to tell him to let her leave but the words were blocked with James's mouth, pressing her into the door as he embraced her again.
She felt him kiss her.
She felt herself kiss him in return.
The kiss was as potent as the first they had shared but all the emotions behind it was different. It was needy, anxious, and trying frantically to scream something at the both of them. While the first kiss felt as though it would go on forever, this one felt like it would be the last of its kind.
Lily was crying now.
"James, please . . ." Lily sobbed quietly. "It can't work like this . . ." James edged only slightly back, feeling defeat looming over him, but refusing to give up just yet.
"It can." James insisted as he kept kissing her in short but heartfelt gestures. He began to kiss the tears from her face as they made their way from her eyes.
"But you can't even tell me something I have the right to know. What you did was an invasion of my privacy before and I am trying to understand you, James, but how can I when so many things between us are shrouded in secrecy and lies?" Lily pleaded. "How can I trust you?"
"Can't you just trust this?" As the desperation hit his voice, James felt himself start to cry. He had to make her understand; they were so close to understanding each other. "It was like I woke up one day and my whole world turned around you. And the scariest part about that was I couldn't remember it being any other way. I know I haven't always shown it but there were reasons, complicated reasons that are meaningless to me now. And I'm a wreck because of all it!"
James bore his eyes into Lily's.
"You couldn't do this to me Lily if I didn't mean everything I said. You wouldn't have this kind power over me otherwise."
Still crying Lily pushed James away from her, unable to look at him as the tears poured to the floor.
"The easiest thing to forget, James, is never to give someone the power to control you." Lily broke down.
The words of Severus Snape that stung Lily were more bitter than the tears in her eyes as she fled down the stairs. Wiping the tears from her eyes, Lily raced back down to the party and hoped James wouldn't follow.
James was stunned for a moment, wracked with grief, rejection, and loss. If he listened to his mind, James knew that following Lily would probably accomplish little aside from upsetting her more. If he listened to his heart, James would do everything reclaim the frail moment they had lost which he knew should have always belonged to them. Tired of listening to the thing, which had kept him at bay for two months, James listened to his heart. And though he had heard Lily's parting advice, James didn't care if Lily had the power to control him.
Because, the simple truth of the matter was, Lily had always had that power over him.
* * *
James chased Lily down to the party, jerking to a halt at the base of the stairs. It was only the most fleeting of social mores that prevented him for screaming after her and pursuing the conversation she had abandoned because James knew dragging all the Gryffindor common room into their discussion would win no points with Lily. Trying to duck around anyone who approached him, James followed Lily into the thicket of the bash with every intention of carrying her off if he need to. Before he could reach Lily, Peter, who was not particularly sober looking, grabbed a hold of James's robes and forced him to stay in place.
"Prongs!" Peter exclaimed. "Turns out it WAS alcohol me and Sirius made! Just a sniff of it is more than enough to get you pissed turns out . . . need to remember this one!"
"Peter, let go!" James insisted, glancing over his shoulder to make sure he wouldn't lose track of Lily. "I'm really busy at the moment!"
"Okay, it'll only take a second." Peter agreed with a slight slur. "I just wanted to thank you for distracting Lily for us while we got this party REALLY going!"
Peter had James's attention now.
"WHAT?!" Alarm sprang into James's voice. He shot a helpless look back at Lily who was more than aware that most of Gryffindor was fairly inebriated. She turned accusingly towards James with a demanding expression.
"What's going on here?" Lily's was completely irritable. James could only shake his head in reply. It was then Sirius approached the three.
"Uh-oh!" Sirius laughed as he saw Lily. "Guess we'll be calling things quits then."
"Your handiwork, Black." Lily stated coldly. She was completely emotionally drained from James, the last thing she needed was to try and get a bunch of drunken teenagers back under control.
"Peter helped!" Sirius said defensively.
"And what a help he was." Lily spat before addressing the rest of the Gryffindors. "Alright, party's over! Stagger back to your beds right this instance before I'm liable to take the pillows off them and smoother the lot of you!"
The sober members of the House groaned and did what their Prefect said as quickly and disgruntled as they could. Those who were drunk took a little longer to begin clearing out. Sirius made a face at Lily.
"Well THANK YOU very much." Sirius commented sarcastically. Lily rolled her eyes.
"Brought it on yourselves, I'm afraid." Lily informed.
"Whatever . . ." Peter rolled his eyes, before turning to James. "You couldn't have kept her busy any longer than this?"
"Oh no . . ." James felt the blood drain from his face as panic seized him.
"Kept me busy?" Lily repeated quietly as she faced James.
"Yeah." Sirius affirmed who was more than an obnoxious drunk. "We had to figure out SOMETHING to get you out of here long enough to have a little fun. You need to loosen up Lily, you'll live longer."
"Lily, I had no idea . . ." James pleaded as he tried to pull himself out of Peter's grip. "I didn't even know they were plotting all this!"
Lily could only stare at James as she felt the tears run down her face. All his talk about his loyalty to friends, how he was so desperate to keep her there with him, it was all a means to an end.
He had even said he loved her.
"Nicely played, James." Lily croaked as she ran off toward the Fat Lady Portrait. She could hear James calling after her, apparently still struggling to get out from under Peter's grip. Stepping through the threshold to the dormitories, Lily turned tear streaked to the Fat Lady Portrait.
"No one is to leave the dorms unless it's morning or an emergency, whichever comes first." Lily told the plump woman guarding the doorway. "The Password for tonight is 'Two Months'."
"Well alright . . ." The Fat Lady shrugged.
"Goodnight then." Lily said as she sprinted out into the school just after ten.
* * *
"Oh man . . .I made Lily cry . . ." Sirius frowned, sincerely upset. "I'm such a prat . . ."
"You don't even know the HALF of it!" James hissed through his teeth as he wrenched out of Peter's hand and raced over to the portrait. After arguing for five minutes with the Fat Lady to let him out, James realized that there was no way he would be leaving the dorms that night and stormed over to his friends.
"WHY did you tell her all that?" James demanded.
"Because it's true." Peter apologetically shrugged. "Moony sent her up after you so we could pass the bottle around a bit. We thought the most it would do was irk her. Didn't mean to make her cry."
James collapsed into the nearest chair. He felt sick. He had done a fine enough job driving Lily off because he was so insistent upon protecting the wankers he called friends only to have them convince her that everything he had said and done was only a diversion.
"What's wrong Prongs?" Sirius sat on the arm of James chair and put a hand on the shoulder. "She's mad at us this time, not you."
James threw Sirius hand off him and gripped onto him with his own.
"You dumb bastard." James spat. "I'm IN LOVE with her! I told her that and now because you and Peter had to pull this BRILLIANT stunt of yours she thought everything I confessed was one big lie!"
"No James, you're confused, PADFOOT's in love with her." Peter slurred helpfully.
"No, Sirius just wanted something he couldn't have." James replied. "And he had to take me down with him." James released Sirius and turned back toward the dormitory stairs. He was too afraid of what more he would say or do to his friends if he remained amongst them any longer.
Breaking into Lily's room once more, James paced the floorboards, sitting down occasionally only to get back up again. He was determined to spend the entire night waiting for Lily to come back to explain things to her. He wouldn't leave until she listened. Until she believed him.
Distraught was an understatement for James Potter.
* * *
After some aimless wondering around the castle, Lily had found herself in the Prefects bathroom (which was a modest way to describe the spa like accommodations). She laid, defeated and depressed, on one of the couches in the plush lounge right near the entrance sniffling back the tears she had been crying for hours. Lily felt stupid and used, vowing never to forgive James and his friends for their cruel prank on her. Those were the good moments for Lily.
The bad ones were when she remembered the kiss.
Sighing, Lily turned over on the couch so she was facing into a cushion. She didn't even have the strength to cry anymore. Lily debated going back to her room and trying to sleep for the night, but didn't want to chance it. She was certain James would try to confront her, try to persuade her into believing in him like she most desperately wanted to. She couldn't put herself through that right now and decided she would just fall asleep on the couch she was presently occupying and sort through the shambles of her life in the morning.
Lily was so busy feeling sorry for herself, she wasn't aware that Severus Snape had been peering down at her.
"What are you doing here, Evans?" The meager amount of sympathy lacing his voice was the best, Lily guessed, he could muster considering it was Snape. She glanced at him over her shoulder. His hair was damp and there was a slight flush to his usual pallor. She gathered he had just finished with a bath.
"Celebrating a fabulous Gryffindor victory." Lily muttered sarcastically.
"Always thought your House was odd." Snape replied. Lily didn't know if she was up to talking with Snape and had hoped he would have taken her comment as a request to leave. Apparently it just invited more of his typical dry banter.
"Though it's against all my better judgment to ask, what's wrong?" Snape's voice was hushed.
Lily was tempted to try and unburden herself. She figured if anyone could understand how bad James and his friends were capable of being it would be Severus, but she decided against it as Lily doubted either herself or Snape would be very comfortable with the idea of her crying in front of him.
"I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you." Lily sighed. Snape nodded.
"Just as well, I'm not all that accustom to dealing with sobbing women anyway." Snape shrugged. "Come now, I'll escort you to your dormitory."
"No, I'll be staying here for the evening." Lily disagreed as she settled into the couch deeper.
"That serious then?" Snape raised an eyebrow. "You're House MUST be in a sad state if they can drive their Prefect out on a rail."
"As thoroughly enlightening as your evaluations of my service as a Prefect is, Severus, I'm afraid my ability to take most things graciously is completely exhausted for the evening." Lily grumbled curtly. Snape sounded as though he had just snorted some air through his nose in frustration.
"Alright, enough of this foolishness, Evans, on your feet." Snape ordered. Lily rolled over to glare at him.
"Pardon me?" Lily's eyes were as cold as his voice.
"You. Heard. Me." Snape replied, making it clear that if anyone would be doing the intimidating in this conversation it would be him. "You are in for quite a disappointment if you think I'm going to allow you to spend the remainder of the night mopping on a sofa in the Prefect bathroom. Now I strongly suggest you pull yourself together enough to follow me before I have to embarrass the both of us and drag you along."
Gleaning from Snape's expression that he had every intention of doing just as he had threatened, Lily pulled herself into a seated position and then to her feet with an unhappy sigh. Snape nodded approvingly and lead the way out.
Deflated at the thought of having to go back to her dorm and face James, Lily allowed Snape to lead her through the castle, staring more at her feet than where she was going. It took her a few minutes to realize that they were nowhere in the vicinity of Gryffindor tower.
"Where are we going?" Lily pressed. Snape stopped walking to face her.
"To my quarters." He replied ambiguously. "You expressed little interest in returning to your own room and I'm not about to let you try what respect you've earned from me by hiding in the bathroom like a sobbing school girl."
"But I AM a sobbing school girl." Lily observed with a humorless laugh.
"If that's all the credit you care to give yourself." Snape stated aloofly. "If you'd like to go back to your own room that's fine…"
"No." Lily resisted quickly. Even if it was only for a while, Lily decided she'd rather stay with Snape than contend with James. As condescending as Snape could be, Lily would much rather handle that than allow her emotions to be manipulated any further.
"Very well." Snape returned to walking.
Lead into the dungeons of the castle, Lily observed the uninviting surroundings and wondered how the Slytherin could stand to live in an area so barren of all feeling or depth. Lily guessed that if most of the Slytherin were half like Severus, such thoughts probably never crossed their minds when then entered the bowels of Hogwarts. Stopping in front of a door, Snape removed his wand and preformed a gesture. An audible click echoed through the corridor. Snape gave a hesitant glance to Lily before he sighed and opened his mouth to recite the password.
"Fluffywig." Another loud click.
Lily snorted a laugh and Snape appeared to be startled by the noise. He rolled his eyes as Lily's lit up slightly.
"'Fluffywig'?" Lily questioned in an amused voice that Snape in no way shared.
"Passwords are for security, Evans." Snape informed in a cross but flustered voice. "I think you have just proven my point that no one would suspect THAT to be the access phrase to my room." Snape removed a key with a coiled serpent for a handle and inserted it into the lock.
"Paranoid a bit?" Lily observing the third measure Snape employed to secure his room.
"It breeds longevity overall, Evans." Snape informed. "I, for one, don't have problems with people spying on me." That sentence cut into Lily.
"I think I'm just envious is all." Lily muttered. Snape opened the door and stepped aside to allow her in.
Taking a quick survey of the quarters, Lily noticed almost every spare inch of space contained potion supplies and equipment. Several cauldrons were all a low simmer. A slight haze blanketed the air and the various odors of the potions brewing were suppressed under the thick scent of incense. Although containing far more items in it, Lily decided that Snape's room was kept in an even more immaculate order than her own.
Gesturing toward a bed for her to sit upon, Snape busied himself with some vials set up on the top of his desk. Judging from the perfect condition of his bed, Lily had to wonder if Snape had even slept in it once all term as she sat down.
"So what exactly do you do in here?" Lily glanced around. She couldn't imagine what use he's have for making all these different potions.
"Occupy my time." Snape stated simply enough as he exchanged the fluid in one beaker to another before bringing it over to Lily and holding it out for her. "Here's something that should ease your hysterics."
Lily wondered how Snape always managed to be ever the charmer. Eying the crystal container suspiciously, Lily turned her gaze toward Snape.
"What is it exactly?" Lily wondered aloud.
"A Placid Potion we learned during 4th Year." Snape informed. Lily still made no move to take the drink from him. Growing irritable, a sarcastic sneer forced itself over Snape's face. "As tempting as it may be to sedate and violate you, Evans, I suppose I'll just have to restrain myself. Otherwise I wouldn't be further privy to your vivid assassinations of my character."
Embarrassed, Lily accepted the vial and drank it in a single swallow before handing it back to Snape.
"My apologies." Lily sighed sincerely.
"Considering how distraught you are, I'll turn a blind eye." Snape nodded as rinsed the vial in a small sink and took a chair on an angle from Lily.
"I shouldn't be burdening you like this." Lily averted her eyes. "It's unfair."
"There are a great many things in this life, Evans, that are unfair. This falls somewhere short of an inconvenience." Snape replied directly.
"Well, it's just so late." Lily observed.
"I rarely sleep." Snape assured. "I'd have either studied or dabbled in here if I hadn't come across you."
"Oh but then you wouldn't have been able to catch me at my absolute worst." Lily said as she pulled her hair behind her shoulders.
"If you must appeases your ego, you're typically stunning." Snape informed. As tactless and harsh as Severus could be, Lily derived a certain amount of comfort from Snape's slant on social ettiquite. At least she was always assured he as honest. "I very much doubt you came upon your presently disheveled state without some form of assistance." He raised his eyebrow, curious to see how she would reply.
"So what's going on with professional Quidditch these days?" Lily deflected. Snape took this as a hint that the topic was closed.
"I hear the Cannons have fair odds at the cup." Snape updated.
Snape and Lily talked for hours until her response grew infrequent and her eyelids heavy. Around three in the morning she had nodded off on the top of Snape's bed. Abandoning her beneath a spare blanket, Snape reviewed his notes from the History of Magic and ignored Lily for the remainder of the evening.
* * *
A little after dawn, James left Lily's room, closing the door behind him. After waiting for Lily to return for over eight hours, a tired and broken James needed to take a break. Still in his Quidditch uniform, James was resolved to take a shower and do some serious thinking for a couple of hours. Hopefully Lily would be at breakfast in the Great Hall and hopefully she would listen. He would spend the entire day trying to make her listen because that night he and the other Marauders would be leaving for the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade to be with Remus.
After a night spent mostly brooding (since there was little else to do), James was committed to still being cross with Sirius, Peter, and Remus for what they had done to him. However, since it was an unwitting sabotage of his chances with Lily, James felt it wasn't worth the price of their overall friendships together. In the end, the other Marauders were merely fortunate that James valued the philosophy of saving any true animosity or resentment for though who deliberately acted in malice. Still, James felt he reserved the right to be more than pissed for the next few days or until they produced a proper apology.
James was about to enter into the bedroom he shared with his friends for a shower before he remembered his letter to Frank Longbottom. With everything that had happened last night and all James expected to be dealing with over the next few days, he figured it could be a week before he would actually get around to composing a decent letter. With a worn sigh, James made his way up to the attic where he had left his stationary supplies and put some fresh ink on his quill. James recalled how he had needed that one sincere thing in his life to be able to string all the other events in it together and now felt as though he had found it. With a sheet of parchment before him, James wrote.
* * *
Dear Frank and everyone:
I know you all must be curious as to what has become of the last of the Potter line in recent days so I'll take the time to update you now. We had our first of hopefully many victories for the Quidditch season against Slytherin yesterday, which I am still team captain of. Although I'm at the top of my class in virtually every subject, Transfiguration is the one I excel at most and Defense Against the Dark Arts remains my favorite.
Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew continue to be my best friends after six years and more than one trying of my patience. I have discovered most recently that friendship is more than just good times and shared laughs and is nothing without forgiveness and honesty. While I've more than taken advantage of the former, I've found that latter part of these stipulations a hard lesson to learn.
I started this summer with a fear that a gap would grow in the relationship between my best friend and myself. I was distraught with the idea that someone would come along and start to push Sirius from my life and to my dismay I found I was absolutely justified in my concern. I had pushed Sirius away. What is it about growing up that makes it impossible to confide in those closest to you? Is it because we gradually accumulate more and darker secrets or that we believe we're the only ones who are burdened by them? What rift that has appeared between Sirius and I can only be described with the proverbs of "no good deed goes unpunished" and "the road to Hell is paved in good intention." Because that is what has been on my mind as of late; how to do right by my friend. The thing I failed to realize was that the best thing I could have done as a friend to Sirius was allow him to be a friend to me. In time, I will remedy this situation, but only after I can find the strength and the heart to sincerely want to.
As for your post script, Frank; there is someone special in my life presently; however, I appear to be afflicted by a grievous curse upon the men of my family that my father once described.
We're bloody idiots when it comes to women.
My dad told me when I was about twelve and had just finished telling him about this redheaded girl I had spent teasing all year during my 1st Year at Hogwarts. He enlightened me to how all the Potter man have this uncanny ability to be horrible prats and behave in the complete opposite of how they should once a lady catches their eye. He proceeded to explain how, when courting my mother; he had somehow worked it into his mind that dating her sister while tormenting her all hours was the fastest means to win her affections. I remember thinking how much of a moron I thought my father was for acting so insanely stupid in front of the woman he supposedly adored and fond it miraculous I had even been born. Of course this was from a mind that would four years later deem morally questionable uses of family heirlooms prior to dropping crates of lit firecrackers upon their love's head to be lost arts of romance.
Good to know us Potters are men of tradition, eh?
Yes, I'm in love and she's wonderful in every way imaginable. She's been described to have the beauty of a veela, the wisdom of a sphinx, and Charms beyond anything magic has yet to produce. She is my equal and not because we share all these perfectly similar qualities, but because she challenges me and forces me to constantly decide who I am and what life that James Potter should be making for himself. She is my missing half, not for all the reasons we are the same but for every last reason we are different. Every last part of my character I have either neglected or done without, she embodies and simply being around her makes me a better man. Sadly, through misunderstandings and sheer blunders on my part, she isn't speaking to me and I feel possibly more lost to this world than ever in my life.
After all, how can we ever go back to being half a person once we've finally been made whole?
As I conclude my letter, I'll recall something my mother rationalized for me when I told her what my father had explained of their earliest steps in love. She said that while the things my father had done would be more than enough to drive any sane woman off, the measures and extremes he took to fix everything he had done was more than enough to lure any sane woman back. She told me Potters were born under a bad sign in respects to dating but were truly blessed when it came time to find their true loves. She assured me I would act the fool and feel twice as dumb over a woman once in my life; and she would be the one I would love forever. What should comfort me, she had said, is it wouldn't be true love if it were any other way. The only thing I can quote directly of both my mother and father is this.
"The only way a Potter can love someone is through 'Deperire': to be hopelessly in love with them."
The person I love is difficult, stubborn, emotional, and is the only person I'm willing to wait up for all night just so she can yell at me some more. I'd wash my hands of all this if I wasn't sure that when she's not too busy hating me, she loves me too. Thankfully and tragically, I have fallen hopelessly in love with Lily Evans.
I suppose I'll have to do something about that then.
Deperire,
James Potter
* * *
* * *
Every You, Every Me
By: Placebo
* * *
Sucker love is heavensent You pucker up, our passion's spent My heart's a tart, your body's rent My body's broken your's is bent Carve your name into my arm Instead of stressed I lie here charmed 'cos there's nothing else to do Every me and every you Sucker love a box I choose No other box I choose to use Another love I would abuse No circumstances could excuse In the shape of things to come Too much poison, come undone 'cos there's nothing else to do Every me and every you Every me and every you Every me Sucker love is known to swing Prone to cling and waste these things Pucker up for heaven's sake There's never been so much at stake I serve my head up on a plate It's only comfort, calling late 'cos there's nothing else to do Every me and every you Every me and every youEvery me Every me and every youEvery me Like the naked leads the blind I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind Sucker love I always find Someone to bruise and leave behind All alone in space and time There's nothing here, But what's here's mine Something borrowed something blue (Repeat)Every me and every youEvery me and every youEvery me