* * *
~ Three Days and Counting ~
By: Oy! Angelina
* * *
In the boys' dormitories of Gryffindor tower, Remus and Peter sat on top their beds, exhausted but unsleeping as they listened to Sirius rant. Both would have been liable to strangle Sirius for waking them from the first wink of sleep they'd had in days if the indignant conversation be about anything other than Snape taking Lily to the Yule Ball and how such a thing would devastate one of their closest friends. Pacing and cursing, Sirius kept waving hands about to emphasize whatever point or threat he was making at the moment. After he had brought them up to speed as best he could, Sirius turned to the two other Marauders.
"Well, what are we going to do about all this?" Sirius demanded as he flopped on his own bed, awaiting their replies. Remus and Peter exchanged wary looks from across the room, it was evident they were more than concerned with their friend's temper at the moment.
"This is going to be yet another memory in my life that ends with bloodletting isn't it?" Was all Peter could say in response to Sirius's question. Sirius gave a less than appreciative look Peter's way before turning to Remus expectantly.
"Come on, Moony, you're the insightful one here." Sirius pressed.
"And my wisdom beyond the ages thinks you should calm yourself a bit." Remus urged. "We're not going to be much of help to James if the best suggestions we manage are creative torture methods to use on Snape."
"I have a comment I'm not sure you guys are going to like." Peter said hesitantly before his two friends. Remus and Sirius turned their attentions to Peter who nervously continued. "Maybe this isn't our business or our fight." It was Sirius and Remus's turn to exchange looks.
"And all this time I wondered . . . 'why a rat'." Sirius glared at Peter.
"Wormtail! James is our friend!" Remus stated as though Peter needed to be reminded. "He needs our help with this!"
"Yeah, but he didn't ask for it!" Peter observed. "For all we know, we could make things bloody worse for him by sticking our noses where they don't belong. Maybe the best we can do by Prongs is root for him along the sidelines like we do for Quidditch."
Remus looked as though he were about to argue against this before Sirius raised a hand to silence him.
"No, I think Peter had a point in all this." Sirius relented. "Let's face it; we haven't been helping him all that much lately when we've thought we were working on his behalf." Remus and Peter nodded solemnly as they reflected on their personal blunders as of late.
"So we just sit back and cringe as the carnage unfolds then?" Remus said in a deflated tone as he flopped on his back.
"Possibly." Sirius shrugged. "Let's wait until we gat a chance to talk to James, if he asks for our help, we'll be more than happy to give it to him. If he wants us to stay out of it, then I guess that's what we'll have to do."
"We can still be mean to Snape though right?" Peter confirmed with a sour expression.
"Oh well that's just a given." Sirius snorted obviously.
With that, the boys settled in for a brief nap before they jumped into the long night ahead of them.
* * *
Lily adjusted her House scarf as she made her way out toward the Quidditch pitch. She could see the Gryffindor team zooming around the air above the stands on their brooms. The sun had almost set on the gray and overcast horizon, making it impossible to discern which of the players was James. Practice would be ending, as supper would soon be served. Lily hoped she would get a chance to talk to James before then.
Waiting for fifteen minutes and adjusting her winter cloak about twice as many times, Lily saw James leading the rest of the Gryffindors off the pitch. He was covered in sweat and grass, looking more than worn but still managed the energy to compliment his team and offer encouraging suggestions for their next practice. The 7th Year female Chaser on the team spotted Lily first and greeted her, this caught James's attention as he dismissed the remaining players.
"Practice went well?" Lily asked casually as she and James both approached one another.
"Yeah, lots of improvement. Hufflepuff's going to be given a run!" James grinned, hoping Lily didn't notice that it was completely forced. He had been so distracted with thoughts of her during practice; James had been debroomed by more than one bludger. "Um, could we walk back to the dorms? I'd like to shower up before dinner."
"Oh! Yes, of course." Lily nodded as they made their ways back into the castle. There was a silence between them as a low rumble of thunder rippled through the air. Lily knew she needed to speak, but found every attempt to say a word get lodged in her throat. Deciding she couldn't stall forever, Lily forced the dialogue up. "There's something I wanted to tell you about, James."
"Go ahead." James wasn't looking at her. He could paraphrase what she would say next. Lily's words weren't important. Only his reaction mattered.
"Severus Snape asked me to attend the Yule Ball with him and I accepted." Lily stated without looking at him either. She didn't know any other way to say what she needed to and figured direct was as good as any. With that out in the open now, Lily braced herself for whatever outburst James would undoubtedly produce in retaliation.
"Okay." James still couldn't look at her as the sounds of other students in the corridor stole away the awkward silence that would have followed. Dumbstruck, Lily wasn't sure how to handle this situation at all. It was as though he either didn't hear or believe her and it was imperative that he understood. Though she had troubles starting the conversation, now she found it impossible to stop talking.
"I just wanted to tell you so you wouldn't have to hear it from anyone else first." Lily explained a little more quickly than she liked.
"Sirius told me before practice, but thank you for trying to tell me yourself." James replied apathetically, still staring ahead. James lapsed into another long silence.
Lily silently cursed Black for his flapping tongue but didn't know what made her believe he wouldn't run and tell his best friend all about it. But Lily couldn't figure out how James was remaining so calm if he had known about this for hours. People, least of all people like James, were well adjusted enough to process and accept such a bombshell in such little time. It didn't seem like him and it was disturbing Lily exceptionally.
"That's all you have to say about this?" Lily inquired as her green eyes searched James's face for any break in this detached expression.
"Yes it is." James responded quietly before pressing his lips together.
Realizing that James had every intention of continuing their conversation like this, Lily grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into an empty classroom. Closing the door behind them, James sighed as he kept his head hung facing towards the ground. Sensing a confrontation coming on, James wasn't certain if he could handle it.
"How did you want me to react, Lily?" James finally glanced at her.
"With emotion." Lily requested with a concerned look to her. "I was hoping we could talk about this a bit. I don't want things to be like . . . well, like this."
"How do you want things to be then?" James's even tone never faltered but his eyes flared as he spoke. "Do you want me to cry? Be jealous? Furious? Vindictive?"
James threw his broom to the floor, causing Lily to jump at the noise. He turned his back to her, running his hands through his hair and began speaking to the wall.
"In all honesty, I'd LOVE to do any and all of those things at the moment but I won't." James voice shook a bit with this. Risking a step closer to James, Lily kept her hands locked in front of her.
"Then why don't you?" Lily pressed. "You have every right."
"That's just the thing." James said as he turned back, facing Lily. "I really don't. So I'm not." This took Lily aback.
"How do you figure that?" Lily breathed. To her surprise, James laughed a little and came closer to her, somewhat awkwardly.
"Because, as much as I dislike it, I don't have any claim on you and you owe nothing to me." James said with a sad grin. "You don't have to explain yourself to me. You're free to go to the dance with Snape or anyone else you care to and I can't force otherwise."
"He and I are just going as friends - " Lily rationalized but James placed a hand over her lips gently to silence her.
"Stop." He requested still smiling. "I told you, that you don't have to justify anything. It's entirely your business."
The tips of James's fingers lingered for a moment, then slowly traced down Lily's lips and her chin before he brought his hand back to him. He clenched it into a fist and turned away from Lily slightly. James crouched to retrieve his broom and started to make his way out of the room. Lily felt like crying. She didn't understand why James wasn't storming up to her yelling bloody murder or finding Snape to fight with or just avoiding her altogether. It wasn't that she had wanted him to do any of these things, but they just seemed like the only rational things for James to do. Lily turned to him before James's hand reached the handle of the door.
"I thought you said you were going to fight for me." Lily blurted out without knowing why, causing James to freeze in mid motion.
She gasped and wished she could have taken back those words for all the gold in Gringott's. It made her sound as though she were trying deliberately to toy with his emotions, which was anything but true. In fact, Lily had said it because she was so desperately afraid that this meant he no longer cared about her. That in two days, James could go from being in love with her to not caring about anything she did. The thoughts of such ambivalence hurt Lily more than she thought anything ever could and she had no clue what to do about it.
James propped his broom against the wall and turned back toward Lily. He walked right up to Lily until there was only a breath between the two of them. Staring down at her with an expression of torment rather than the anger or frustration the Lily had anticipated, James took the side of her face into the palm of his hand.
"Is that what you want me to do, Lily? Fight for you?" James asked barely over a whisper. Lily's lips moved but no words came out because she had none. She had no idea how to respond to this since she had never intended to start this conversation in the first place.
"If I asked you not to go. . .if I begged you. . .if I forbade you . . .would it make you go back to Snape and retract your word?" James leaned his forehead against Lily's as he closed his eyes. "I really don't think so . . .so why bother putting either of us through that then?"
Lily felt her breaths grow short as she closed her eyes with James, fighting off the tears. She found herself crying entirely too much in front of James Potter these days.
"I'm not doing this to hurt you, James." Lily assured in her most desperate voice. "I just don't know what to think about us."
"Neither do I." James admitted. "But it's all I do anyway. Go with Snape to the ball. I can't tell you that I won't care but I can say that my feelings for you haven't changed."
It was then she felt James's mouth press over hers. It was a cautious kiss, as though he fully expected her to shove him away or protest some how, but to both their surprise Lily didn't. It was slow and tender and much too short, as it seemed to Lily that James stopped when he had only just begun. He pulled her into a tight embrace, deeply inhaling the scent of her red hair before releasing her. James looked at her fondly.
"And now I know yours haven't changed for me either." James smiled slightly. Lily felt a flush upon her cheeks as she grew more than shy at the moment. "I guess then I'll just have to work on the things keeping them at arms length." James went back to where he had left his broom before glancing back at Lily
"Um, I know it will be late and all, but I was wondering if I could talk after Astronomy tonight?" James inquired as he started to open the door out into the corridor. "I have a couple of things I need to explain to you that I can't do here."
Beyond curious, Lily felt herself nod.
"Alright." Lily agreed. "Where then?"
"The attic in Gryffindor tower." James decided. "Well, I'll see you then." And with that, James joined the stream of students in the hall.
Lily sighed and leaned against the desk.
"Life shouldn't be this complicated." Lily determined while surveying the empty room as though she expected to find someone there with her.
She knew that she did feel something for James but couldn't ever act upon it so long as there were secrets between them. Not only that, but she couldn't back out of her commitment to attend the Ball with Snape just because she received a more favorable offer. Also, Lily was certain Arabella was still in the dark about what was happening between her and James and couldn't keep snogging behind her friend's back in clear conscious. But in spite of her more than distressing situation, Lily couldn't help but smile.
After all, how unmanageable could things be if James still cared about her?
* * *
Clattering and chatting echoed through the Great Hall as three of the four Marauders helped themselves to supper as they awaited James. After a light nap and the minimal refreshment derived from it, Sirius was back to brooding about James, Lily, and Snape, occasionally sharing a comment with his other friends. Remus invested most of his energy into his beef stew, pondering to himself. He also couldn't help but notice how uncharacteristically sedated Arabella seemed to be while she shared a meal with Lily. For his part, Peter tried to get a lighter conversation going at the table.
After Sirius threw out his umpteenth opinion on the subject, Remus decided to interject one of the thoughts he had been entertaining.
"Not that I'm complaining about it, mind you," Remus clarified as he led in. "But why the sudden change, Padfoot. I mean, you go from throwing down the gauntlet in front of James to fighting on his behalf all in the span of a day." Remus didn't want to be suspicious of Sirius since he seemed completely committed to helping out their mutual friend, but it unfortunately begged the question.
"Yeah, I know it's all sudden." Sirius admitted awkwardly. "Instead of wallowing, I figure if I throw myself head long into helping out James, I'll be too distracted to worry about being miserable. In all honesty, I reckon I'd have been cross a lot longer if Peter hadn't put things into perspective for me."
Peter nearly spit out the food in his mouth at this.
"Wait a second? I actually HELPED matters for once?" Peter chocked out in disbelief.
"Well, what did you say?" Remus demanded, but Peter was to busy beaming like an idiot to answer.
"Wormtail got me to really think about the whole situation." Sirius explained. "He asked me if I was as serious about Lily as James was and just told me if I was the friend I claimed to be for James than I should be happy for him . . .and, well Peter was right."
"Good show, mate!" Remus toasted Peter approvingly. Peter seemed to blush a little at this.
"Well, I was due." Peter attempted to be modest.
James trotted up the length of the table, sharing a quick exchange with Lily and Arabella before he sat himself next to Sirius and nodded to Peter and Remus who were across from them.
"Evening bastards, enjoy your nap?" James asked in a joking and envious sort of way. The other three Mauraders exchanged some uncertain glances as they all turned their eyes on James. Aware of the sudden attention, James raised an eyebrow to his friends. "Yes?"
"It's just, well, you're in high spirits is all." Remus observed in a confused voice. "We just weren't expecting this sort of reaction." This prompted James to laugh a bit.
"I've been getting that A LOT today!" James informed as he helped himself to a roll. This invited yet another exchange of looks.
"You DID tell him, didn't you?" Peter asked Sirius earnestly.
"Well I didn't imagine the conversation!" Sirius exclaimed before turning to James. "I reckon Prongs has just cracked under the strain of it all."
"I'M NOT DEAF!" James announced, appalled that he needed to. "And I'm not angry or miserable . . .okay well maybe a bit of both, but nothing I can't handle."
"He's denying his denial." Remus reported and was answered with a roll to the head.
"I. Am. Not." James assured. "I'm just accepting that this is one of the few things beyond my control. I'll only make things worse if I go about imposing my will. And the SAME goes for all of you!" James emphasized his words by pointing a butter knife at each of his friends before he started to slice his fresh roll.
"So we're not to do a thing about Lily and Snape going to the ball together?" Sirius confirmed in disbelief.
"Not unless you wish to taste my fury." James shrugged. "Also there's something I need to ask you guys about. I want to show Lily our map and I'd like to address any objections here and now."
Peter and Sirius looked as though they might have a few, but Remus only smiled with an impressed and approving expression.
"Are you kidding?" Peter demanded.
"Prongs, we've spent our ENTIRE Hogwarts career making that thing!" Sirius groaned. "And you're planning to hand it over to a Prefect just because you fancy her!"
"No, I'm planning on showing it to LILY and it's not like I'm letting her keep it." James replied in a disappointed tone. "She wants me to stop hiding things from her so I figured that if I showed her the map and my cloak it would prove to her that I'm willing to make the effort. I mean, outside of the Marauders, she would be the only one to know they even exist."
"You can't show her the cloak!" Peter protested. "How will we get about?"
"It's MINE and I'm free to do with it as I wish!" James reminded. "Besides, Wormtail, you should be fine so long as you watch out for Miss Norris."
"Well a forth of the map belongs to me and I say I'm fine with it." Remus shrugged as he went back to his stew. Sirius and Peter sighed as the stared silently at one another before looking at James.
"Alright." Sirius relented. "Just try not to let her memorize it or anything."
"Yeah." Peter chimed in with a slightly whiney tone. "When do I get to start betraying our secrets to people I'm trying to get in good with?"
* * *
In the Gryffindor common room, James Sirius, Remus, and Peter were each tutoring small clusters of younger students after dinner. Professor McGonagall stopped in to check on her House and seemed a more than a little surprised by the scene before her.
"Why, it's so rare to see you four doing something that isn't deviant I'm not sure how to process this information." McGonagall observed in an almost teasing tone. "To what do we owe this miracle?"
"The strong recommendations of our Prefect." Remus smirked as he proofread a couple essays some 2nd Years had due in Defense Against the Dark Arts. McGonagall smiled and nodded approvingly as the left the Gryffindors to themselves for the remainder of the evening.
Just as he finished supervising several 1st Years turn millipedes into millimeter rulers, Arabella approached James and asked for a moment of his time.
"Certainly, Arabella." James grinned as he turned to his 1st Years. "Why don't you three try changing them back on your own, I'll be back in a couple of minutes to see how you're coming along."
James followed Arabella as she led him up the dormitory stairs, stopping on a landing. He was tempted to question what was on her mind, but she had the same gloomy look she's been harboring half the day and decided not to press her. She removed a single photograph from her robes and passed it into James's hands.
"I was developing my pictures to day." Arabella explained, slightly looking away. "I saw this and . . .well I thought you might want it."
James examined the picture from Hogsmeade and watched how the images of himself and Lily were behaving towards one another. It felt as though James had suddenly been winded as he glanced to Arabella wordless.
"If you're trying to think of some sort of explanation or apology, there's no need." Arabella assured with a weak smile. "You made it clear that we were just friends because you fancied someone else. And I'm sure you had your reasons for not telling me it was Lily. I just wanted to see if the way things are in this picture are the way things are now."
Arabella had told him not to feel bad, but James found it hard to resist his guilty emotions. In truth, there was little he could have done to make his intentions for Arabella any clearer aside from coming out and admitting what he felt for Lily, but he had only done that with his friends just a couple of days ago. James had planned to talk to Arabella that night and explain things to her, but this certainly wasn't how he had intended for things to come to a head. Still, he had to be honest.
"Yes, they are, Arabella." James croaked out. Taking Arabella's hand, James stared at her with a tragic expression. "I never meant to hurt you with any of this and I know Lily didn't either. Somewhere along the lines, things just stopped being so simple to explain."
Arabella nodded as she inhaled a deep breath.
"I imagine." Arabella sympathized. "Don't worry; I don't really have much of desire to bare a grudge against either of you. It seems like everyone's been trying to set me straight on all this anyway . . .well except for Sirius Black, the peddler of false hope and vomit producing drinks. I think I shall like to kick Sirius."
James had to laugh.
"No please don't." James requested. "He only found out a day ago himself. I know I should have mentioned something to the both of you a lot sooner, but I didn't want to raise an alarm if Lily didn't share my feelings."
"Does she?' Arabella asked with interest.
"Yes, I believe so." James admitted.
"I think you two should attend the Ball together." Arabella spoke in a relenting sigh. She perked up slightly as she added. "I've been saying for months that you two should be spending time together that didn't end in strangling and swears. In fact, I was saying initially that I thought you two should have just gotten together period."
"I appreciate how amazingly understanding and gracious you're being about all this, Arabella, but I won't be taking Lily to the ball." James shook his head. A look of concern washed over Arabella's face at this.
"If you're saying this on my behalf, don't!" Arabella insisted. "I mean, I have every intention of doing some heartfelt wallowing over this but that's more of a pathetic-girl-with-a-few-dozen-cats thing that you shouldn't concern yourself with!"
"You're not pathetic . . .you just have a very intense fixation we're all trying SO desperately to understand." James assured affectionately with a smile. "She's going with Snape."
Arabella reacted as though James had just said something horrifically appalling to her.
"Bloody hell she is!" Arabella cried in disbelief and waited for James to show he was joking around. When he gave no indication of such, Arabella pondered this with a most disturbed expression.
"Now I had lied a bit when I said I wasn't going to be cross at the two of you over all this . . ." Arabella muttered more to herself before a broad smile broke across her face. "But now that I hear you've been thrown over for you Slytherin rival and Lily's going to ACTUALLY have to spend an entire night waltzing with that cold-blooded git . . .who can be mad?"
Arabella broke into fits of laughter while pointing at James. He might have been offended or even angered by this if he didn't have this coming so deservedly and actually saw the humor in it as well. After she regained her breath Arabella gazed at James, her eyes wet with fresh tears.
"Whew! It felt SO grand to laugh like that." Arabella sighed. "Thanks James."
"It's what I'm here for." James snickered along. The two Gryffindors stared at one another and it seemed to be determined that they would remain friends after all.
"I meant it when I said I wanted you to have that picture. Maybe it will be the first of many nice ones of you two. After all, you can never have too many happy memories lying about." Arabella commented with a bit of a wink. "Speaking of which, I think I'll find either Sirius or Remus and see if they want to share a giggle at your expense."
"Have fun then." James said sarcastically, but he was more than overjoyed that Arabella was going to be fine with all this.
"Oh I will." Arabella promised. "But, since you're freed up for the ball, fancy taking me? Hadn't really considered any options besides you so I'd be hard up to find a decent date at this point."
"Um . . ." James hadn't really expected Arabella to be even talking to him let alone wanting to go to the ball with him and wasn't sure how to reply.
"James, don't over think it." Arabella instructed. "I was planning on asking you under the "just friends" banner anyway. It doesn't mean anything more than you helping a fellow Gryffindor out of a pinch."
"Well, then, okay!" James decided and smiled slightly relieved.
"Alright, see you about then." Arabella waved as she headed back to the common room. James put his hands into his pockets before marveling over his good fortune with everyone important to him today. Unbeknownst to him, James guessed he was a social genius only when operating on no sleep and headed back to finish his tutoring before he was expected for Astronomy.
* * *
It was nearing 1:30 in the morning when Lily made her way to the attic of Gryffindor tower. She had her winter cloak around her since the attic was more than drafty with its exposed section of ceiling. Forgetting to remove the school bag she had used in Astronomy off her shoulder, Lily would just have to make an effort to remember brining it back down with her. She opened the door and found James waiting, still in uniform (though minus the tie) and wearing his cloak as well. There was some bundle at his feet and Lily wondered if he had forgotten to leave his bag in his room as well.
"Hey." James greeted as he watched the sky. It had been only partially clear for class that night and it appeared to be taking a turn for the worst. "How are you?"
"I had a bizarre encounter with Arabella just before class. She just started pointing and cackling like some mad hag!" Lily reported with a perplexed expression as she shook her head. "That girl gets odder by the day."
"I told her about us." James stated. "More appropriately, she figured it out and just wanted me to confirm."
"What did you tell her?" Lily was curious what "us" meant in the mind of James Potter.
"That I fancied you . . .thought you fancied me back." Was James's response.
"I can't say I'd thought she'd be laughing one she heard." Lily admitted confused, but relieved.
"Like you said, she's an odd one, luckily for us." The corner of James's mouth went up in a quirky grin. Lily threw a shy one back.
She wondered why James had asked her up there and was beginning to wonder if he was speaking in code for a snog. Not entirely certain if she'd be opposed to the idea, Lily strolled over to where James was in the attic and set her bag down.
"So . . .what did you want to see me about?" Lily asked expectantly.
"I've been thinking about what you said…about me not trusting you and keeping things from you." James started. "And I've come to the conclusion that you're right and I wasn't being fair when I was asking for you to be with me but wasn't willing to trust you enough to be apart of my world. So I've decided to resolve that matter."
He bent down and pulled up a long and silvery shroud, displaying it for Lily. She glanced at it curiously, evidently unsure of what to make of the garment.
"You had asked me about how I managed to watch you that first night back, it was wrong of me not to tell you so I'm going to try and make up for it now by showing you." James explained. "This is something that's been in the Potter family for generations. It's woven from the hair of the Demiguise." James gestured to the strange, silvery looking material of the item.
"Demiguise? You mean the ape-like creatures whom can turn invisible as a defensive measure?" Lily asked, recalling her Care for Magical Creatures text. James nodded, evidently impressed by her memory for obscure information. No sooner had James started to throw the cloak around himself did he vanish from Lily's sight. Her eyes went wide as she gasped for effect.
"An invisibility cloak!" Lily breathed in awe.
She could hear the creak of the floorboards around her, but had no idea exactly where James was until she felt something tug on a lock of her hair that nearly made her jump out of her skin. Lily spun around with every intention of slapping the hand away from her but found herself grasping only air. She heard James snicker before he pulled the cloak off.
"So that's how you were watching me!" Lily felt herself blush upon realizing that James had physically been in her room with her all that night and she had only the foggiest of ideas someone was even there.
"Oh, I pretty much spy on everyone and sneak about with this." James beamed, evidently impressed with himself. Lily felt her lips form into a pout as she crossed my arms.
"So you could have been watching me anytime doing anything at all and I wouldn't have known." Lily cried indignantly. "You common voyeur!"
"Hey!" James protested, offended. "There's nothing COMMON about this! How many people do YOU know with an invisibility cloak?"
"Aside from the randy git I'm looking at whose been ogling me for who knows how long?" Lily demanded, still shocked.
"ItoldyouIsawnothing!" James reiterated this point through a hissed before folding the cloak. "Okay, but now you know it exists and I assure you on the honor of my family name that I have not used it to spy on you since that night you caught me and have no intention of doing so here after. My only request is that you not let word get out about it . . .if it's not confiscated I'll be blamed for everything through probable cause and opportunity."
"Fine." Lily agreed, coming down from her embarrassed high. "So now I know how you get about."
"Oh, that just keeps me undetected." James corrected as he walked over to Lily holding out a section of parchment. "THIS is how I get about."
Lily accepted the paper and examined it but found it was completely blank. Lily was about to accuse James of pulling her leg until his voice cut in.
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." James recited, commanding a map to materialize before them. Lily's eyes scanned what was most obviously the layout of Hogwarts castle with a few places she didn't even know existed. Two icons titled LILY EVANS and JAMES POTTER were located at the top of Gryffindor tower. It also appeared to keep track of James's friends, many of the boys' rivals, and most of the faculty. After he though Lily got a good enough look at the map, James deactivated it. "Mischief managed." And the parchment went blank.
"Neat huh?" James grinned as he took the map back from Lily and put it into his robes. "Just finished it last term with Sirius, Remus, and Peter."
"That is really impressive!" Her tone indicated that she truly meant it. "So you just sneak about with this map and the cloak? Is that what you four were up to the evening before?"
"Yeah, you know, boys being boys." James's tone was casual and unimpressive as he shrugged, hoping she'd buy it.
Although Remus had given him permission to do so, James still refused to reveal his friends condition to Lily as he had no idea how she would react. He also omitted the fact he was an animage since it could accidentally lead to reveling that Sirius and Peter were as well and they were such illegally. James convinced himself this wasn't lying on a technicality and had every intention to share both these facts with Lily someday, if they possessed a relationship that warranted such a revelation.
"Is there anything ELSE I should know?" Lily pressed.
"Well, Peter sings show tunes in his sleep but that's really neither here nor there." James smirked, causing Lily to laugh. "No, I think this is the most you need and deserve to know about me at the moment. Unless you care to offer up any personal details of your own, which I'd promise my undivided attention to by the way."
"No, this actually speaks volumes, James." Lily assured. "Thank you."
"Well, I really want to work things out between us." James replied sincerely.
"I know and I appreciate the efforts wholly." Lily led in. "But I still can't go to the ball with you - "
"Yeah, I know that. We talked about it this afternoon." James nodded. "I didn't show you all this in some bid to sway your decision. I don't want you breaking your word to other people…or in this case, Snape . . .just because I finally stopped being a prat. My only intention with all this is to give a clear shot to maybe something later on."
"You're saying you're planning to wait around on me?" Lily questioned since this didn't sound like the usual James Potter. He seemed more than prepared to rush head long into a relationship only a few days ago but now he was talking about postponing things.
"Well, I'm kind of without an option at the moment." James stated obviously. "I mean, even if it is Snape, not very proper and wouldn't speak well of either our reputations if we were fooling about. We don't need half the school getting the wrong idea about us and I don't want any relationship we have being remembered as starting on that kind of tawdry note. That and there's Sirius and Arabella to think about. They're doing their best to be supportive and selfless through all this, but I think it's still a bit soon to make things so glaringly obvious for them. Incidentally, I'm going to the ball with Arabella, just as friends of course."
"I'm sure she'll like that." Lily said approvingly. She felt a small stab of jealousy but considering how well James was taking her going to the ball with Snape, Lily decided she had no room to speak on the matter. "So I guess we're more or less close friends at the moment as well."
"Umm . . .yeah." James agreed, seeing that as the most accurate description of their relationship at the moment. "But close friends, like us, can have friendly snogging sessions, right?"
"Do you and Sirius?" Lily laughed at James's effort.
"If I said yes . . ." James asked thoughtfully.
" . . .then I would wonder about the two of you a bit." Lily laughed some more.
"Okay, fine." James surrendered. "What can close friends do together then?"
"Well, I'd say they could do their Astronomy homework up here together since they can't enjoy the other uses for the stargazing attic." Lily considered. "But it looks like it's about to storm, making it impossible to see the moon, never mind the stars."
"Well, we could stay up and wait to see if they come back out so long as the Prefect doesn't catch wind." James joked, prompting Lily to chuckle a bit.
"I can keep a secret." Lily nodded before a slight amount of concern crossed her face. "But you look as though you haven't gotten much sleep."
Lily couldn't fathom how, after a match and practice session of Quidditch, waiting all night for her in her room, sneaking out to who knows where with his friends, and spending the entire day in classes or studying, James had managed this long.
"I guess . . .some things are worth staying up for." James smiled. "When you're asleep, the world could change overnight and leave you to sort it all out in the morning. If you're awake . . .maybe you'll get a say in it all."
"I suppose." Lily agreed with a grin.
The two settled onto the floor, drawing their cloaks tighter around themselves against the night air. With a sigh, Lily rested her head on James's shoulder and James put an arm around her in return. The two watched the churning sky quietly, their materials for Astronomy laid untouched beside them. Lighting illuminated parts of the cloud cover like dim, flashing bulbs with the sound of thunder echoing the flare. The faint drumming of rain against the school served as constant white noise for James and Lily.
After half an hour of watching the skies in silence, Lily turned to James with his arm still draped over her shoulders.
"You know, I don't think it's going to let up." Lily predicted.
"It's not. Peter told me earlier it's expected to rain straight on for days." James confirmed.
"Then why did you suggest we wait it out?" Lily raised her eyebrow.
"Oh, I would have said about anything to keep you up here a little longer." James grinned to himself.
Lily rolled her eyes at how naïve she could be at times, but made no effort to leave.
"Prat. You're lucky we're friends."
"Yup."
And such was the first, pleasant sleepless night Lily and James had on account of one another.
* * *
* * *
Heart and Shoulder
By: Heather Nova
* * *
Wanna cry for you
Would it do any good?
If I rained for you
It would just be water
And the night's with you
And the storm's in your hand
And you're down, and you're down
And I can't lift you
I'm powerless to change your world
I'm powerless to stop the hurt
But I'll give you my heart
Give you my shoulder
I give you my heart
Give you my shoulder
Over and over
Wanna run for you
Would it do any good?
If I flew for you
You would still be standing
And it's hard watching
'Cause I'm part of you
And it's hard not to
Not to know what I can do
I'm powerless to change your world
I'm powerless to stop the hurt
I'm trying hard to be your tower of strength
I'm trying hard to bring you back to joy
I'll give you my heart
Give you my shoulder
I give you my heart
Give you my shoulder
When the night just cuts you through
And the dream is lost to you
When you're worried and confused
I will give you my heart give you my shoulder
I give you my heart
Give you my shoulder
Over and over
Time and again
Give you my shoulder
I will
I give you my heart
Give you my shoulder
I will
Time and again
Over and over
I give you my heart
Give you my shoulder