FOREWORDS
For those of you who are sticklers about astronomy, I know that the full moon is usually somewhere around the 16th - 18th of the month but I feel like being sort of liberal with for the purposes of story-telling. If this for some inexplicable reason makes you think I'm a horrible writer now, apologies but I have my reasons for messing around with the lunar calendar. It's always been a nagging question on how no one but Snape and the Marauders knew about what had happened and I was trying to figure out how everyone and their brother knew what happened with the Sorcerer's Stone but THIS was a secret! Something I'll play with.
Of course, it's only fan fiction, right?
* * *
~ Moths to a Flame ~
By: Oy! Angelina
* * *
James returned to the Gryffindor common room with a package of bacon and a more than cross look on his face. Muttering foul things about a certain member of the Longbottom family, James fed Wifflesnip his reward until a knock came from the bedroom door. James found Bill Weasley, a 2nd Year Gryffindor on the other side.
"Prefect wants to see you." Bill reported with a smile that suggested he had more to say James than the message.
"And?" James threw the same lopsided grin back at the redheaded boy.
"Umm . . ." Bill's ears went a little pink, which James assumed was his way of blushing. "Yer the Quidditch Captain right?"
"Yeah." James nodded.
"I was wondering if, well, there was gonna be a space open on the team next season?" Bill inquired, as he appeared to be examining the tops of his shoes while he spoke.
James smiled and ruffled his hair as he made his way through the boys' dormitories and motioned for Bill to follow him.
"We've got a couple 7th Years on the team right now, so I'll need to be replacing them all right." James confirmed. Bill grinned hopefully at him. "I can't promise anything until I see you on the pitch, Bill, but I WILL remember that you came to see me about it first out of everyone else. Talk to me once school's back in session and I'll see about letting you get a little practice in with the team."
Bill was thrilled by this and raced off ecstatically. James was suddenly reminded of how he practically stalked his predecessor about the dorm when he went out for Quidditch. He imagined he was probably more than a little obnoxious toward Harper, but she took it as a sign he was committed and that was probably why he won out the vacant spot over Sirius.
On the subject of his best friend, James wasn't above nepotism when it came to the other vacancies on the team. James would have probably put him on the team when Harper graduated but she had played Seeker for Gryffindor and what Sirius possessed in reckless, relentless pursuit was seriously undermined by his utter lack of attentiveness and patience. James recognized that Sirius was best served as a Quidditch Chaser and that's where James planned to put him come 7th Year (provided he was still a fair player). James was mulling Quidditch now so much he had completely forgotten why he had ventured to the boys' dormitory entrance until he caught sight of Lily.
Overcome with a dazed and euphoric sensation, James could watch the pitch go up in flames and ask Lily to dance on the ashes with him.
"Hey, what's going on Lily?" James might have come across as casual if not for the manic grin on his face.
Lily smiled fondly at how miserable James was at playing it cool. She wondered if the rest of Hogwarts was easily impressed or if James was just pathetic when it came to acting suave with her. Still, he was not without his charm.
"I've come seeking your opinion." Lily informed.
"Please tell me this is some code for snogging." James grinned as Lily rolled her eyes before glancing to see if anyone heard.
"Get your mind out of the dungeons." Lily chuckled. "Really James, is that all you think about?"
James shrugged.
"Apparently more so than Quidditch." He replied a little too honestly for his chivalrous Gryffindor's liking. Lily just shook her head.
"I was curious if we should do something for New Years." Lily got back on subject.
"By 'we' do you mean Gryffindor or us?" James raised an eyebrow.
"Well, I was actually referring to the House." Lily clarified and watched James's expression drop a bit. "But if you had something in mind - "
"No." James admitted a little glumly, until it struck him he COULD pull something together.
After all, he was still trying to think of the best means to formalize himself and Lily. James wasn't fond of holding off on doing it for almost a week, but this would give him the chance to organize something really clever to woo her. If he remained attentive to Lily's whims and managed not to get carried away like some randy prat, James could keep their relationship implied for the moment without degrading Lily in anyway.
"Yeah, I think a party would be a good idea." James was more enthusiastic this time about. "It could be memorable and all with a bit of effort."
"You'll help me out then?" Lily confirmed. "Organizing, chaperoning, the like?"
"Sure!" James agreed somewhat. He would be fine with the organizing end of things since food and explosives passed through his heads all too readily in general, but he'd feel very foolish if he suddenly started to correct the deviant behavior of his peers rather than egg them along.
"Alright then!" Lily grinned happily. "We'll work out the details over the next few days."
"Did you want to, um, hang out a bit now?" James requested in an awkward but hopeful tone.
"What did you have in mind?" Lily asked.
"We could go for a walk?" James offered. It was Lily's turn to seem a little disappointed. She was sort of whishing James would go back to his suggestion of snogging.
"I suppose." Lily spoke thoughtfully. "But it's just past nine and you know students aren't permitted to wonder about the school after ten."
"They can if they're not seen." James smiled coyly as Lily got his implication.
"James, I don't know." Lily's tone was hesitant but tempted. "We'd be breaking rules and I'd be a hypocrite to say the least. That and no one will be here to keep an eye on things."
"Ask Remus to be the honorary Prefect for a bit. He's dependable." James urged. "Come on, we'll be back before its even time for lights out, I promise."
Lily bit her lip as she considered this.
"Alright." Lily relented with a guilty but excited expression. "I'll talk with Remus and meet you back in my room."
"Okay." James nodded as he watched her head towards the common room. He went to retrieve his cloak and the Marauder's Map, though he knew the ins and outs of Hogwarts practically by heart, James didn't want to take any chances of getting cornered by Filch with Lily in tow if his memory happened to lapse. James decided he might have kissed Lily after their exchange but wasn't sure how she'd respond to that.
James REALLY needed to make things official with Lily.
* * *
Lily found Remus in the common room comfortably with a cup of tea and Encyclopedia of Dark Creatures for company. Most of the Gryffindors were hanging in their rooms or out and about in the castle until they absolutely had to return to the tower. Remus didn't seem to mind the solicitude but he wasn't opposed to Lily's company either.
Typically Remus.
"I always catch you with some literature related to the Dark Arts whenever you have a spare moment." Lily observed Remus's selection as she peered over the side of the couch at him. "Anything you care to confess?" He smiled innocently back at her.
"Nothing more scandalous than indulging a morbid curiosity, Madam Prefect." Remus assured.
It was no secret that Remus Lupin was fond of their Defense Against the Dark Arts class and had a natural aptitude for most things concerning it. Lily had lost count of the number of in-class debates he and Snape (who undoubtedly would excel in his Dark Arts studies if he wasn't so concentrated on his Potions work) would battle over when it came to their grasp of the material. Lily didn't really suspect Remus would do anything foul with the knowledge he had considering it was mostly a wealth of inane facts that were hard to do anything truly wicked with. Besides, Remus was far too good-natured to maliciously harm anyone.
That's why she approved so much of James's recommendation to have him act as her proxy for a bit.
"Could I ask a favor of you?" Lily inquired. Remus closed his book, thumb marking the place, as a show of full attention.
"Does it require me leaving this couch?" Remus teased, but Lily doubted he'd much mind.
"Unless it happens to catch fire, probably not." Lily smiled. "You can pretty much carry on as you were, I just need you to keep an eye and ear open in case something dire pops up. James is taking me for a tour of the lesser-known routes of Hogwarts and I need someone to impersonate my voice of reason while I'm off being a scoundrel with one of the most deviant minds to prowl these halls."
"Can do." Remus nodded. "Have fun. Don't do anything James can't tell us about later."
"Thanks Remus." Lily patted him on the arm as she headed to her room to meet up with James.
"I wonder if my newfound power will corrupt me?" Remus commented to himself.
If he attempted to explore this option, he did so through resuming his book where he had left off. After five minutes, Remus got the distinct impression of an unseen presence in the room. Tracking it a bit, he kicked off his shoes toward where he guessed to be the source and heard more than the thump of the footwear clatter on the ground.
"Prat!" Remus heard James's low hiss from thin air.
"Just keeping you on your toes." Remus reported with a grin as he turned back to his book. A phantom force cracked him upside the head playfully causing Remus to chuckle.
"Funny book?" Arabella questioned as she bounded down the stairs. Remus showed her the cover, causing her to give him a quizzical look.
"Okay, now I'm just worried about you." She stated as she hoped over the back of the couch landing on his outstretched legs. "I'm not disturbing you am I?"
"Little late for pleasantries isn't it?" Remus grunted with a laugh as he pulled his now sore limbs closer to him.
"I meant your reading, you big baby." Arabella smirked as she kissed her hand and patted his legs sarcastically.
"Who has the time, what with my busy social calendar?" Remus gave up on the book and set it to the side.
"Good." Arabella nodded. "I was hoping we'd get a chance to talk in private a bit."
"Sure thing, luv." Remus pretended to stretch as he looked deliberately over towards the direction Lily and James had been heading and smiled. "Of course, if the room has ears I can always fetch some firecrackers and paint."
Remus paused expectantly. After he heard the portrait door open and shut, Remus turned his attentions back on Arabella. She was presently staring at him with a baffled expression on account of his odd behavior. Picking up his cup of tea, Arabella gave it a sniff while eyeing Remus. He began drumming his fingers against the back of the couch.
"It's TEA." Remus assured dryly.
"You're pretty indignant for someone who's been prattling like a lush since I got here." Arabella mused as she placed the cup down. Remus studied her with an amused expression.
"NOW, what did you want to talk about, Arabella?" Remus pressed attentively.
"Gossip, the usual." She sighed as she relaxed into the couch. Remus guessed she probably didn't have much of a point for visiting him or she wasn't going to get around to it straight off.
"About?" Remus moved things along.
"Lily and James." She smiled.
"Bit boring with those two these days." Remus shrugged. "Ever since they cast aside their angst in favor of an emotionally fulfilling relationship, there's not a whole lot to discuss."
"Yeah, but they're not TECHNICALLY together yet." Arabella observed.
"One last, desperate, gambit for James then?" Remus teased.
"Nope." Arabella simply corrected with a shake of her head. "I was just curious to see if James made it official yet."
"Not to my knowledge." Remus informed. "My best guess lies with James will over think the situation until both he and Lily are so frustrated that they'll be right back at each other's throats."
"And you feel no need to step in?" Arabella grinned.
"First rule of friendship is never blow another mate's make up sex." Remus divulged sarcastically, but Arabella's eyes lit up anyway.
"You don't think-?" Arabella started.
"No, I don't." Remus ended her speculation. "He's too flustered, she's too proper, and it's TOO SOON for our fevered minds to be mulling over this."
Remus let out a preemptive exasperated sigh for the fiasco that scene would be. He hoped, it they were so inclined, James and Lily would have the good manners to wait until they were married so it could all be left to speculation and he wouldn't have to listen to Sirius and Arabella go off and running on the situation.
"So then what shall we do in place of living vivaciously through our friends' romantic lives?" Arabella sighed, at a loss for conversation.
"Start up one of our own?" Remus suggested with a quirky smile. Arabella looked over to him, as though to check if he was joking.
"Meaning?" Arabella prompted.
"Meaning . . ." Remus leaned in closer to Arabella and took her hand as he formulated his improvisation of dialogue. ". . . Although I'm the introverted type, once I figure out what I'm feeling I don't like to let things just lie around to fester if I can make something better of it. Particularly if I think it's something that might be mutual."
"Basically, you don't want to be a git like James Potter?" Arabella surmised.
"Not to speak ill of a friend." Remus confirmed.
"You don't strike me as shy." Arabella noted.
"It's more reclusive than anything. I'm just grown accustom to being on my own." Remus tried to decide if Arabella was ducking the question because he had misread her, she was being coy, or if she was just that scatterbrained.
"Evidently not if you're snogging with girls and asking - what are you asking Remus?" Arabella demanded with a smile.
"Nothing written in stone." Remus specified as his eyes fell on Arabella's hand. He made circle like motions across the top of the smooth skin with his thumb. "Just to see where things go, if there's anything beneath the surface of last night and whatever led up to it. I suppose I'm asking for a chance."
Arabella saw now how Remus Lupin could be shy. Pulling his hand over to her, she kissed him along the knuckles and smiled.
"Not threatened by my prior crush on your friend?" Arabella investigated.
"Should I be?" Remus met her clear eyes with his darker set ones.
"No." Arabella breathed as she leaned in to kiss him gently on the mouth, as though she were putting in the final word on an old discussion. It was a brief, confirming embrace but Remus still closed his eyes beneath the tenderness of it all.
Remus intended to say something more on the subject or, at the very least, express it by deepen the kiss; however, Sirius and Peter nearly taking the Fat Lady Portrait off the hinges (much to her screeching protest) as they bounded into the common room somewhat detoured his plan. He and Arabella jumped back a bit and waited for the barrage of questions, comments, or critiques either would willingly provide but the two didn't even seem to notice them as they raced up the stairs laughing about some joke they were oblivious so amused with they couldn't even share. The echo of the boys' dormitory door slamming returned Arabella and Remus to one another's attention.
"What do you reckon that was about?" Arabella wondered aloud.
"My guess would be a matching set of detentions from the sounds of it." Remus suspected, knowing his friends and their assorted laughs all too well.
"Should we investigate?" Arabella glanced over at him.
"Hell if I want to be labeled an accessory in whatever they're plotting!" Remus shook his head before pulling Arabella closer. "Besides, Lily assured me I probably wouldn't have to leave this couch barring sudden combustion. Care to help me along with that?"
"Think that line up just now, did you?" Arabella teased as she blanketed over Remus.
"Like it?" Remus grinned.
"Not particularly." Arabella admitted as she kissed him on his chin.
"Seems effective enough to me." Remus decided as he craned his neck to have his mouth meet Arabella's.
After six years spent pondering the matter, Remus found his tongue placed in Arabella's mouth to be the only sure means to keep her silent for any length of time.
* * *
"You're POSITIVE he bought the note?" Sirius demanded of Peter in the seclusion of their bedroom in the Gryffindor boys' dormitory. His tone was excited but low, just to be on the safe side.
"Bloody well thought he was going to break into song and dance!" Peter beamed, before breaking into a rendition of what he assumed it would be.
"Oh, I'm going to expel those Gryffindor gits, do-dah, do-dah, Then back to scowling I can go, oh all the live-long day!"
Sirius and Peter collapsed into fits of laughter before they resumed their discussion.
"I still can't believe he thinks we're really thick enough to leave something like that lying about." Sirius smirked. "I thought I was playing long odds at best!"
"Well he probably assumes were bloody idiots." Peter rationalized as he flopped on his bed, still grinning. "I'm almost thankful he's so damn arrogant. It'll make it right funny come New Years."
"Yeah." Sirius smiled, evidently imagining how the scene would play out. Peter was made a little uncomfortable by this expression.
"Speaking of which," Peter started. "I have to admit that I don't feel particularly proud of us hiding this from James or Remus."
"We went over why they can't know." Sirius reminded in a tone to show he was bored.
"They're going to be cross with us again, though." Peter's pitch was nervous. Sirius crossed the room and joined Peter on his bed.
"Yeah, but mostly because they won't be sharing any of the credit." Sirius smiled. "Well, Moony will be due quite a bit now that I think about it."
Peter wondered if this was the only time Sirius was REALLY thinking about the wheels they had set in motion.
"Sirius, what if something goes wrong?" Peter knew he sounded scared, but he didn't care. Sirius shot him a traitorous look before his features softened.
"No, nothing will." Sirius whole-heartedly assured. "I can keep Moony under reign, done it before."
"WITH Prongs." Peter noted. This soured Sirius's expression as he went back to the traitorous look. "I'm just saying, Sirius, that we should AT LEAST bring James in on this. I'm sure he'll think it's as hilarious as the both of us."
"We. Don't. Need. James." Sirius bluntly stated before relaxing a bit. "I swear you're coming across as Snape, making me out to be James's understudy or something. I'm perfectly capable of running a prank on my own, you know."
He didn't want to get cross with Peter but he resented the implication that he was incapable of doing anything without James looking over his shoulder.
"No, that's not what I meant!" Peter insisted. "I just don't like being at odds with our friends."
"We're not." Sirius assured. "James is just busy with Lily. Let him be busy."
Peter took note of the bitter tone in Sirius's voice but said nothing on it. He didn't know if Sirius was as entirely comfortable and supportive with James and Lily being a couple now as he let on. Wondering if he was still coping with being passed over for James, Peter figured Sirius might also be feeling a little neglected by James these days and his reaction might be one of a lonely friend.
Either seemed entirely plausible since Sirius something of a competitive streak to him.
"Speaking of busy." Peter wanted to get off topic. Not a hard thing to do with Sirius as the other end of the conversation. "What about Remus and Arabella?"
"Yeah!" Sirius perked up. "They sure looked cozy in the common room."
"I thought for sure you were going to say something to rile them." Peter admitted.
"What kind of mate do you take me for? I would never go about wand-blocking Remus if he's making time with a nice girl." Sirius stipulated. "Besides, it's no fun teasing Remus if I can't get the satisfaction of that guilty 'I did something randy but I'm too repressed to mention it' expression he'll get. Remus's is SO MUCH funnier than James when it comes to ruffling his feathers over this sort of thin. I guess it's because he gets this effeminate indignant pout going that makes me feel like I'm at home with my sisters."
"You tease your sisters about their sex lives?" Peter asked in disbelief, since he knew Sirius sisters personally and had only bothered to consider one in a romantic way. Sirius bolted straight up and gave Peter a scandalous look.
"Of course I DON'T!" Sirius cried. "Because that would be ADMITTING they might have them and I don't want to have to start hexing a bunch of pervey blokes until the Aurors drag me off!" Sirius gave Peter a deliberate glare.
"Why are you looking at me?" Peter demanded shrilly.
"Because I can sense my own, depraved kind." Sirius glared.
* * *
Remus had his arm around Arabella as they cuddled on the couch in the Gryffindor commons. She had dozed off somewhere after ten, Remus started reading again about a quarter after that, and she scared the hell out of him by talking in his sleep half past the hour. Realizing he could probably pick up a conversation with Arabella even as she slept, Remus resisted the urge in favor of his book.
It was nearing eleven when James and Lily returned to the common room chuckling about something with the cloak balled under James's arm. They exchanged amused looks when they saw Arabella snoring softly across Remus.
"Comfy?" James inquired in a low voice so a not to rouse Arabella.
"I can't feel my arm." Remus whispered with a smile.
"Know what that's like." James was rewarded with an unappreciative pinch from Lily.
"Ow!" James laughed, recoiling as he rubbed his now tender flesh. "Oh, it's alright if I say that sort of thing to Remus, he's couple-people now aren't you?"
"I don't give up my blood circulation lightly." Remus agreed.
"So if Remus and I discuss things in our relationships, it's not like were bragging or anything." James explained. "We're just comparing notes, making sure we're going about things right, that sort of thing."
"And where did you hear this?' Lily demanded.
"Just made it up." James revealed. "Sounded really official when said it in that deadpan tone though didn't it?"
Lily shook her head but was amused. She glanced to Remus.
"Want me to see her off to bed?" Lily offered.
"Probably for the best." Remus nodded as he gently shook Arabella. Waking up groggily she greeted Lily and James, gave Remus a light peck on the cheek, and allowed Lily to lead her along to the Girls' dormitory. Lily gave James a goodnight kiss of their own and left the two boys alone in the common room. James took up a place in a chair while Remus rubbed the sensation back into his arm.
"Should I be getting excited for you?" James asked with a grin.
"If you're so inclined." Remus shrugged and winced at his sore muscles. "Not much happening though, mostly just playing it by ear."
"Who isn't?" James observed.
"Asked Lily to be steady yet?" Remus questioned hopefully.
"I've got a plan in motion." James assured. "Figure I'll make it all official New Years Eve, that way I'm starting off fresh with her or something poetic like that. There's going to be a party with the rest of the House though, so you guys should have an event so long as we hide Peter and Sirius's cauldrons in advance."
"James, New Years is a full moon." Remus informed.
The smile fell off James's face.
"Oh." James deflated slightly. Not wanting to make Remus self-conscious or feel like a burden, James quickly threw up a smile. "I guess I'll have to change my plans around a bit then, huh? That's alright, it was a pretty cliché idea now that I listen to myself."
Remsu smiled as James in a way that suggested he knew what he was attempting.
"I think you should hang around with Lily for New Years." Remus decided. James looked tempted by this, but still clung to a resistant position.
"No, I couldn't do that to you, Moony." James shook his head. "I've been at your side since I figured out what you were hiding."
"Exactly." Remus smiled in an understanding manner. "James, I'm not going to feel disappointed or abandoned because I know you're one of the most selfless people to walk the earth. I'll have Sirius and Peter for company, don't worry about me. Just get things straight with you and Lily. Though I'm going on record saying you should just ask her and get on with it."
James still appeared hesitant, mulling it over for a moment; he cast an uncertain glance at Remus.
"You sure you don't need me along?" James pressed.
"Positive." Remus nodded. "All I ask in return is you come up with something plausible to tell Arabella on my behalf. Peter's a rotten liar and Sirius lost his privileges after that unseemly incident 3rd Year."
"I don't know, people really believed you needed medical attention when he said you had an inflamed ovary." James smirked.
"First amongst us to hit puberty, last amongst us to figure out what the hell it was all about." Remus sighed. "Not to mention he has three older sisters."
"As fun as reminiscing is, you really want me to lie to Arabella?" James raised his eyebrow. "You told me only a month ago that I could tell Lily, MY girl, your secret, but you're not extending the same courtesy to the girl you fancy?"
"It's different James." Remus informed in a half-tired, half-pointed matter. "More to the effect, it's complicated."
"Well I suppose it's your choice." James shrugged, a little disappointed in Remus's backtracking.
"So did you ever mention it to Lily?" Remus inquired.
"No." James adverted his eyes, afraid that Remus would assume he was ashamed of him or something. "I just don't think Lily and I are at the "really big secrets" phase of it all yet."
"Same with me and Arabella." Remus nodded. "Of course I don't know if there's ever a right time to bring up 'I turn into a frothing beast once a month, do you want to see other people?' in a relationship. Probably be hard to remain all stoic when I'm rejected at that point in the game, hm?"
"I don't think Arabella's the type." James hoped he was right in his assessment of Arabella's character. "She might be a pretty shocked by it all or hurt you didn't tell her sooner, but I think as long as you keep levelheaded about dealing with that natural response you'll manage."
"Thanks James." Remus said sincerely. "By the by, when did you become so astute?"
"Lily's good influence, I suspect." James shrugged with a smile.
"Hang on to that one, James." Remus advised. "Not many come along that wonderful or fond of you in a single lifetime, you know."
"I do." James agreed.
"So what are you going to do about it?" Remus hoped this would persuade James to get off his ass and tell Lily how he felt about her and their relationship.
"Marvel at my good fortune!" James beamed as he put his arms behind his head and leaned back. A throw pillow tossed by Remus nearly knocked off his spectacles. James glared at Remus who was already glaring at him.
"You. Thick. Prat." Remus grumbled.
* * *
Good to his word, James had been doing what he could to help Lily organize the New Years party for the House (though vanishing without a word for long periods at a time on more than one occasion). There was only going to be about 20 Gryffindors attending since everyone else was on holiday and James explained that Remus and Sirius families were coming in Hogsmeade for the evening and they were going to join them for the holiday at the Three Broomsticks since they had missed them for Christmas with Peter tagging along.
Lily would miss the other boys and guessed Arabella would probably be a little blue without the company of Remus (or the mischievous encouragement of Sirius) but figured they'd have more than enough fun in spite of the numerous absences. It would also mean she'd have James exclusively to herself for an evening.
Not that they've been doing much of anything lately.
Lily had noticed that James had tapered off a bit in his passionate regard towards her but hadn't really found any room to question it. He was still affectionate and more than eager to spend time with her, but James didn't seem all that inclined to be overt in anything they did together.
'I probably scared him off with my behavior from Christmas.' Lily rationalized to herself one afternoon following a meeting with Professor McGonagall to make sure she was fine with the idea of a party before Lily announced it to the House.
Lily still felt slightly ashamed of herself for what she had attempted to pursue with James and was glad he took it upon himself to be the sensible one in that moment. Not wanting to think about what might have become of their relationship if they had acted on her avocation of a premature consummation of it, Lily found the somewhat stagnant state of things to be reassuring all things considering.
Still, she missed the rush of it at times.
Lily recognized that it was unreasonable for her to expect James to read her mind but was hesitant in bringing it up to him. She was convinced if she kept behaving so aggressively with James she would drive him off. Lily smiled a bit at the irony of the situation.
Wasn't this something of a gender role reversal?
Never believing she's be the forceful one in any relationship, Lily was almost amused by her disposition and wondered what it was about James that made her so willing to conduct herself in a manner that she would have previously found out of character. Lily wondered if James had found himself in a similar situation to hers.
In the corridor near the Charms classroom, Lily and Severus Snape caught sight of one another. Lily wasn't exactly sure how to respond to his presence. They hadn't spoken since the night of the ball. Lily quickly debated which would earn Snape's ire more: engaging an uninvited conversation with him or seemingly ignoring his presence?
Lily didn't have the chance to decide this as Snape spoke first when their paths crossed.
"Do you have a moment?" Snape questioned.
"Yes, of course." Lily agreed.
Snape's gaze shifted to another student making their way up the corridor. Although there was only a limited sampling of students leftover, Lily guessed he didn't wish to be overheard with whatever it was he wanted to speak to her about.
"The weather is fair." Snape informed. "Would a walk around the lake be inconvenient for you?"
Lily was struck at how cordial Snape was behaving and guessed this was his way of making amends. She smiled and felt her stance soften from its formerly tense state.
"That would be lovely." Lily nodded. "I'll just grab my cloak and meet you near the main exit."
"Certainly." Snape strode off past her. Curious as to what would become of their conversation and hoping James and the others would be too preoccupied to notice her extended absence, Lily made her way off to retrieve her winter apparel.
Meeting up, Snape and Lily crossed to the snow-covered path and started their lap around the lake. There was a long silence between them. Lily noticed that the weather was pretty timid but news of a snow storm blowing in later on would soon bring an end to it. Clearing his throat, Snape glanced to Lily out of the corner of his eye.
"About the Ball. I just wanted to make sure you were aware that I don't bare any ill feelings toward you for running off. You didn't sabotage any expectations of mine because I had none." Snape spoke almost cautiously, as though he were afraid he would betray something. Lily took this for apologetic.
"I'm relieved that I didn't hurt you, thank you for setting my mind at ease." Lily admitted. "But I have to ask, Severus. Why did you become so, well, irritated with me then?"
Snape pressed his lips thinly together. He didn't seem particularly fond of this question.
"If I could speak candidly?" Snape requested.
"Could I stop you?" Lily smiled.
"I just assumed better of you, is all." Snape replied. "James Potter isn't the type of person you should attach yourself to, interpersonally or emotionally. I think he undermines everything you've accomplished for yourself, Lily, and the only influence he could contribute is a negative one."
Lily was silent as she processed the information. Although she was upset to hear someone speak so harshly about James, let alone her relationship with him, Severus wasn't throwing her into the middle of the petty grudge between himself and James. Underneath his apathetic pretense, Severus seemed concerned.
"Don't be insulted by this, but why do you care so much?" Lily pressed. "Does it matter if I'm really seeing James? I know you two are at odds about practically everything but it's not as though I'm insisting you have to spend time with him or even be polite, however I would appreciate it."
"I'm. . .invested in you, I suppose." Snape expressed. "And I'm just not sure you see Potter for the trouble he is."
"Some could say the same about you." Lily observed.
"I never claimed to be a saint." Snape didn't bother to contradict.
"But you'll condemn James for not being one?" Lily pointed out. Snape appeared slightly irritated by this fruitless dialogue and Lily worked to keep the peace amid them. "I know you're only being concerned, but you'll have to trust me to make my own decision in life. The bad blood between you and James, I doubt I'll ever truly understand it and couldn't attempt to resolve it all, but I don't think James is out to hurt me or whatever it is you fear of him."
"And I don't think you'll ever understand what it is I fear of Potter's association with you." Snape informed adamantly. "His fate is dark and he invites little to remedy this. There are forces at work in this world, Lily, that saw fit to dispense with every last Potter who could claim blood to the line. Do you think they stopped with James or is he just one last end that needs to be tied up?"
Lily stopped walking and grabbed Snape by the arm.
"What are you saying?" Lily demanded. "You think someone is plotting to kill James?"
"I don't assume anything, Lily. I'm certain of it." Snape's voice was low enough to be a hiss across the wind.
Lily shivered from something other than the cold.
"You don't know that." Lily shook her head in disbelief, fighting the urge to shoot the messenger.
"Potter is impetuous and narrow-sighted." Snape insisted. He leaned closer to Lily. She appeared frightened by all this. Snape thought she was under reacting. It wasn't his intention to terrify her with this, but even Snape could recognize the most important lessons in life were the harsh ones as he continued on.
"You must recognize that quality in him. I can see how you could be lured into it, like a moth to a flame, Lily. Potter lives a life with more energy than most would dare. It's as though he suspects, somewhere innate to him, that he must spend the most he can with each passing breath since his future is uninsured. Potter is a candle burning at both ends: twice as brilliant than those around him. That sort of energy is easy to become bewitched by; however it is dangerous. Twice as brilliant but the first to sputter out, Lily. And you would be his moth, flying transfixed to meet your end with his?"
Lily felt a single tear roll down her cheek as she heard Snape speak. He withdrew slightly at the sight of it. She knew this hadn't been his intention, but that didn't dull how deeply his words cut into her. Wishing that he had been angry or bitter when he had spoke this to her, so she could discredit everything he said as just more of his resentment of James, Lily couldn't even maintain this illusion. Severus spoke in such a mourning tone to her, as though he pitied both her and James's futures.
"So, you think I should abandon James because of some doomsaying on your part, is that it?" Lily could restrain the quiver of challenge in her pitch. "I don't remember seeing you in Divinations ever."
"I won't ask such a thing because it would be wasted words on you." There was that solemn manner again. "All I can hope for you Lily, is when James proves to you just how quickly he's burning out, it won't sear you beyond what I've come to distinguish you as."
"Why are you saying such HORRIBLE things to me?" Lily sobbed out, desperate and frail.
"Because of all things innocently cruel, this I can make you aware of." Snape took no pride or satisfaction in this gift he bestowed. It was just what had to be said.
Lily couldn't listen to this any longer. She turned away from Snape as the tears ran free so he wouldn't see her cry as she sprinted back to the castle.
Snape watched her run off, slipping slightly over the frozen ground. He made no effort to stop her or call her back because it would mean they would only talk more and nothing good for her or rewarding for him would be accomplished with this. Snape couldn't offer ease her present anguish because he would be lying and if he persisted with the truth, the things he would say would only be harsher realities for Lily to face.
Snape saw the shadow of death the lone surviving Potter's life lingered within and most would not dare name it.
All like him saw it.
Snape remembered how Lily had said he and Potter were similar. He reluctantly was compelled to agree as he now shared something with James Potter.
They had both driven Lily Evans off crying.
* * *
Lily mentioned nothing of her and Snape's conversation to James, but the words haunted her ears. There was a part of her that wanted to hate Snape for giving her so much fear and worry to shoulder in silence, but that was no more just than everything he had burdened her with. Though she had no intention of ignoring Snape for what he had said, Lily was perfectly comfortable with the idea of spending the few remaining days of that year avoiding him.
James sensed a change in Lily's mood. The air around her was so pensive and sad it was hard not to notice. He tried more than once to draw what was troubling her out, but she would make excuses for her melancholy state and change the subject. Unable to resign himself to helplessly watching Lily go about depressed, James devoted all his spare energy to trying and cheer her up.
This only seemed to sadden her more.
Sirius blamed Snape.
Sirius always blamed Snape (or Slytherins in general) for things like this, but James had to wonder if his friend might have finally pulled off a shot in the dark. James could name few people who could get to Lily upset like this and even less who would be sadistic enough to do it.
But James had no proof so he was helpless once more.
He was relieved when New Years finally came. Bidding his short farewells to his fellow Marauders, James was happy to see Lily perked up a bit with the party to come that night. James hoped his making their relationship at long last official would rid Lily of whatever darkness loomed over her. In the meantime he was content to just help her with setting up the party.
Professor McGonagall wouldn't be absent from the affair, since the staff were having their own get together in honor of the changing year. She didn't seem overtly concerned with Gryffindor's plans since virtually all the other Houses were of the same mind and the small number attending would be hard pressed to cause any serious trouble (particularly with the anticipated absences of Sirius, Peter, and Remus). Her only stipulation was that they were not aloud to venture the party outside as a blizzard was howling against the stone walls of Hogwarts and was positively blinding to be in.
With an assortment of sweets and beverages in the middle of the common room, the Gryffindors were chatting and acting rowdy enough to have fun without warranting Lily's interventions who (although was no McGonagall) was not someone to be trifled with when crossed.
James, Lily, and Arabella had perched themselves on the balcony overlooking the body of the common room. It was away from the party enough to keep up a conversation but they were still at a vantage point to keep an eye on things. To be sensitive to Arabella regarding Remus's absence, James and Lily had agreed prior to the bash that they wouldn't carry on too much as a couple in her presence. The most she could credit them with was holding hands a bit and with a couple light kisses exchanged.
In his efforts to be charming and amusing, James told stories (that he was permitted to mention) to Lily and Arabella about things himself, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had done over the course of their friendship. The one he was just finishing was about how during the summer leading into their 2nd Year he and the other Marauders had attempted to build a tree house in the woods near Sirius's manner in Kent but it only resulted in the lot of them being horribly bloodied by some very disgruntled Bowtruckles.
"I'd say Sirius proved he was the master of negotiations when he started waving that flaming stick about and swearing he'd use the lot of them as kindling for roasting marshmallows, you know the fluffy Muggle sweet!" James laughed shaking his head.
"Well off course! My mother's a Muggle along with the lot of Lily's kin!" Arabella laughed over the story along with her other friends. "Oh, hearing things like that really makes me wish Sirius and the others were here. It's not that it's a bad party but excitement follows Sirius like a stray dog!"
"I know what you mean." Lily nodded, somewhat missing the antics of the other boys, but noticing how manageable James was without their collective influence. "They're just over in Hogsmeade but they might as well be on the moon with how quiet it is. It was just the Lupins and Blacks coming in right? Why did Peter go along?"
"Acontiae; youngest of the Black sisters and two years our senior." James figured he may as well slip a bit of fact into the fiction he was feeding the girls. "Free spirit of the group, reminds me of you a bit, Arabella, with her features and hobbies, but she has twice the temper and half the sense of humor."
"Sounds like a positively foul girl then!" Arabella smirked, knowing herself a little too well.
"I think I remember her." Lily said thoughtfully. "A Hufflepuff who was close with that nosy Bertha Jorkins? When I heard her name I thought she was a distant cousin of Sirius's since she wasn't anything like him, not even in appearance. Blonde and pale unlike the rest of the line, right?"
"Yeah, that's Acontiae." James nodded. "I reckon Peter took to her because she was the odd one out and was one of the few people who can put Sirius in his place now and again. Sirius likes to tell Acontiae their mum fooled around a bit with her colleague in the Ministry by the name of Malfoy, since he somewhat fits the bill. When told by Sirius, Malfoy is 'The Devil if he decided to go about as an albino with a stick in his ass.'"
The three shared a laugh at Sirius's usual tact.
"Sirius must LOVE that Peter has a crush on her." Lily mused.
"Oh it bothers him to know end!" James assured. "His sisters are one of the few buttons you can really press with Sirius. He wasn't too thrilled when the lot of us got crushes on all three of them when we were younger."
"Oh that's so cute!" Arabella cooed. "We know who Peter fancies, what were the two that you and Remus sought after like?"
"Yes, do tell." Lily leaned in close to James, making him blush a little bit at the new topic of conversation.
"Well, Remus liked Celestine, she was in her 6th Year when we were all 1st Years, another Hufflepuff if I recall. Really good and kind with animals, Remus likes that sort of things because it tells you something about a person's character, he would say." James described. "I liked Aurora. Never went to school with her since she's about eight years older than the lot of us, but she was around Sirius's house often enough for me to appreciate her."
"And what did you appreciate of your older woman?" Lily teased.
"Aurora's smart, beautiful, maternal, and really responsible." James listed, before taking Lily's hand. "Guess that's just my type."
"Aw." Arabella sighed. "You kiss him for that, Evans or I will!"
Lily smiled at James for this and thanked him with a peck on the cheek. Arabella rolled her eyes as if she had just watched Sirius kiss one of his sisters but said nothing.
"Do I have to duel her for you?" Lily inquired, causing James to laugh.
"I very much doubt it. Aurora was always nice about my mooning for her, but I think I'll always be Sirius's very good friend whom she assumes has a permanent stutter because I could never manage a complete sentence in her presence." James said wistfully.
"Sounds like the Blacks are an interesting assortment." Arabella nodded. "Kind of like the family you never had."
"Pretty much." James agreed. "I think it accounts for why Sirius and I are so close. I was an only child my whole life and he only had girls to play with. Sirius always wanted a brother but his parents swore off anymore after him. They saw the damage he could do WITHOUT a wand and feared what another under his tutelage would be like."
The grandfather clock in the common room, chimed the hour of eleven and James pulled Lily up with him.
"Getting to be about that time." James decided to himself.
"What time?" Lily questioned.
"Midnight. I got some firecrackers and the like for the big change over and I need the Prefect to sanction everything before I pass it out." James informed. "I left them in the attic so no one would get into them before hand."
"Why not just leave them in your room?" Lily frowned.
"I said I didn't want anyone, i.e. Peter and Sirius, to get at them." James smiled. "Arabella, keep an eye on things for us for a bit?" He threw a wink her way. Arabella nodded and tried to keep the knowing smile off her lips.
"Sure James." Arabella confirmed as she got up to rejoin the party as Lily and James climbed the stairs near them.
At the peak of Gryffindor tower, James opened the door for Lily and she stepped in to find James had enchanted the ceiling and walls to look like a clear night sky in spite of the window showing white curtains of snow coming down. Lily marveled at all the display and figured it must have taken him hours if not days to manage it. She turned, smiling at James who was shutting the door behind them.
"Okay, I'm a liar." James admitted as he walked up to her. "But I wanted you to be surprised."
"I am." Lily breathed.
"Pleasantly?"
"Yes." Lily replied, embracing James and kissing him on the mouth.
For the first time in about a week, James dared to be a little more affectionate with Lily in this gesture but didn't want them to get carried away into another snogging session. Breaking their kiss and taking Lily by the hand, James pulled her to the center of the attic and gazed adoringly at her while moving the hair out of her face.
"I don't know if you're going to find this all redundant or think I'm a fool for waiting so long, but I just wanted to go about things properly and I wanted it to be memorable when I did it." James led in a little awkwardly. "It's almost impossible for me to remember a day when I didn't want to be with you Lily and I don't want to have to try to. I know we're close and I know it's implied but I'd be deliriously honored if you'd - "
James was cut off by a persistent tapping against the pane of glass in the room. He and Lily turned to see and Owl trying to get their attention from outside in the storm.
"Oh the poor thing!" Lily's hand clamped over her mouth as she bolted to the window to let the messenger bird in. It was soaked and coated in snow. Shivering it gave a post to Lily and snuggled against her for warmth.
James really envied that Owl presently.
"What wicked monster would send an Owl out in a mess like that!" James demanded.
"Apparently Severus Snape." Lily reported before she read on.
"Oh that BLOODY FIGURES!" James made a disgruntled noise and marveled at Snape's knack for timing when it came to royally pissing him off. Wondering what the letter was about anyway for Snape to go to such measures, James checked Lily's response but saw Lily was leaving the attic with the note in hand and the Owl on her arm.
Positively bewildered, James chased after her.
"What is it? Is something the matter?" James was worried now.
"Nothing, not yet." Lily replied. "But I have to go meet up with Severus outside."
Lily went into her bedroom, handed the bird off to James, and began to dress into her winter cloak and scarf. James was stunned, but thankfully not speechless.
"NOW?" James inquired in disbelief. "Lily, it's horrible out there and I was trying to - "
"I know and I'm sorry James, but I have to!" Lily insisted. "It's a Prefect matter. Could you return the Owl to the Owlry through the castle, I don't' have the heart to send it back out there then keep an eye on things until I get back?"
Lily was out the door again.
"Well at least let me come along!" James cried. "It could be dangerous out there, Lily."
"No." Lily said adamantly. "I need someone responsible here in charge."
"Then why they hell are you leaving ME?!" James demanded.
"I don't have time for this, James!" Lily sighed as she made her way down to the common room. James swore loudly and raced to the boys' dormitory, grabbing the first cloak and scarf he saw that looked like it would fit. Racing back down with a fluttering Owl squawking in a very annoyed pitch at James, he passed the bird over to Bill Weasley.
"Weasley, Owlry!" James ordered, before turning to Arabella. "Figg, in charge!"
James was through the Fat Lady Portrait and followed after Lily at a pace that would be close for a shadow.
"James!" Lily sounded annoyed now, but he stopped her from walking regardless.
"Just tell me what it is?" James pressed. "What is so astoundingly important that Snape needs to see you at eleven at night on a holiday in the middle of a storm? I'm sorry Lily, it sounds fishy and if you want me to back off you'll need to do better than 'Prefect matter."
Lily passed James the letter she had just received, in something of a huff. James accepted it and read quickly.
* * *
To Prefect Evans:
A parchment fell into my possession that is virtually a signed confession by Sirius Black to one of his friends about some misdeeds they are involved in this very evening. It is expected to transpire at midnight and the note instructed that they would be meeting at the Whomping Willow on grounds. It alluded to a means of subduing the tree. I investigated this earlier and found a passage leading to the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade. I know the lot of them are in town this night, save for Potter so I can only assume the instructions had been for him to rendezvous later.
I would have mentioned all this to you at the lake but you ran off and I didn't feel like upsetting you any further than I had. I know this is only asking you to witness more harsh truths, Lily, however, I feel it is in your better interest to see Potter and his friends in action so you will believe my words.
If you decide to brave the weather and are inclined to take my advice in spite of however unwelcoming of my presence at the moment, I will wait for you by the Willow until eleven. Afterwards I will go on ahead and to expose Potter and his group for the menaces they are.
~ S. Snape
* * *
"The Owl must have gotten lost in the storm or couldn't find a window to get my attention at. That's probably why it was late." Lily guessed quietly. "I didn't want to tell you because I don't know what to think of it, James."
James wanted to question the part involving the lake as he but he focused on the other content of the note.
"Neither do I." James shook his head innocently.
"So Severus is making this up?" Lily asked. "You weren't planning on meeting Sirius and the others tonight?"
"No!" James honestly persisted. "I don't know what this is about, Lily but I know it doesn't make sense. We never exchange notes precisely because something like this might happen! I was right Lily; something isn't right at all with this."
"James, I have to know, is what Severus suspects right?" Lily stared straight into James's eyes. "Are Sirius and the others up to something that's going to land them in a lot of trouble? Is that why you didn't go with them? Severus will try to EXPEL all of you with this and maybe I can persuade him and the faculty otherwise if you tell me what's going on. If you're hiding something on their behalf, I NEED to know, James and right now! I can't help our friends if you don't tell me."
Lily eyes shifted from James's as she finished.
"And I can't give my heart to you if you're caught up in illicit things that you don't have the common courtesy of telling me about."
James grabbed Lily and kissed her. It was impulsive and inappropriate, but it was also the only thing he could think to do. She seemed to relax a little bit, accepting it as a reassuring gesture. Pulling away, James locked eyes with her again.
"Lily, I know I don't in any way deserve such a leap of faith on your part, but you have to trust me." James began urgently. "Me and my friends have been hiding something, it's very secretive and VERY dangerous and if Severus exposes this - . Never mind that, right now, I'll explain it all, every last thing to you later, but I have to try and find Snape now before he gets himself hurt and you have to stay here because I'm not entirely sure I can protect you if this gets as bad as I expect."
James looked so terrified and haunted as he spoke.
"James, you're scaring me." Lily whispered out as she felt her grip clutch onto James tighter. She was certain her nails must be digging into his flesh, but James didn't seem to notice the pain if there was any. He was too busy staring fixated at her.
"I know, and I'm sorry but you need to be scared. You need to stay here." James's tone quivered. "I have to hurry. Snape's got such a head start on me - "
James broke away from Lily and started sprinting down the hall. This time, Lily chased after him.
"Lily, I'm serious!" James pleaded.
"I know you are!" Lily cried. "And I'm trying to imagine what could worry you so much and I can't even fathom it! How am I supposed to let you go off to face this on your own? Not to mention Severus has no clue of what he's walking straight into!"
"I've dealt with this before, Lily, trust me I'll be fine and Snape will be fine if I hurry!" James assured. "You can't help me Lily!"
"Because you won't let me!" Lily retorted. "I'm every bit as capable a witch as you are a wizard. I'm a Prefect. And I care about you!"
"I know." James sighed. He needed to think fast and move faster. Slowing his pace down the hall, James stopped in front of a door and turned to Lily.
"All right." James relented. "You can come, but we'll have to take a secret passage through here if we're going to be in time."
James opened the door and let Lily step in before him. Lily glanced around perplexed as she scanned the buckets, mops, and cleaning supplies.
"It's a closet." Lily turned back to James.
"Pushing in a stone under the lantern opens a hidden door that leads outside." James explained as he removed his wand. "But I was serious when I said it was dangerous. You have your wand with you?"
Lily nodded and pulled it out of the folds of her robed.
"Right here." Lily showed James.
James seemed to hesitate for a moment as he stared at Lily, before a pained expression crossed his face. Too fast for her to react, one of James's hands shot out, wrenching her wand from her hand. The other shoved her over onto the ground. Lily was in complete shock when she fell backwards to the ground, landing on her side.
"I'm SO SORRY!" James cried as he stepped out of the closet and slammed the door behind him. Lily scrambled to her feet and tried to open the door, but James must have been holding the knob on the other side.
"JAMES, LET ME OUT!" Lily screamed. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"Protecting you!" James pointed his wand at the handle of the door as Lily attempted to pull it back open.
"SERA!" James magically charmed the door to remain closed until an opening Charm was cast upon it.
Unable to waste anymore time, James raced away from the sounds of Lily pounding against the door. He thoroughly hated himself for how he had just tricked Lily and was sure she was feeling something similar to that, but James would rather spend a lifetime apologizing to Lily than regret putting her in danger. Jumping through an illusionary mirror and into a hidden passage, James thought frantically on how to navigate the secret routes of Howarts for the fastest way out of the castle.
After that, it was a foot race with Snape that James wasn't sure he could win.
* * *
Snape had lingered at the entrance of the Whomping Willow an extra five minutes after eleven, in case the weather had detained Lily in meeting him. It was impossible to see much through the thick, swirling flakes but after Snape was relatively sure Lily wouldn't be joining him he entered the passageway alone.
"Lumos." Snape muttered with his wand out.
The corridor before him made the dungeons of Hogwarts seem cozy. Keeping a quick pace, wanting to beat Potter and the others to the Shrieking Shack, Snape kept himself alert and ready. He felt confident and believed he would soon feel vindicated in everything he had been saying all these years about that loathsome Gryffindor foursome.
Pity Lily wouldn't see for herself.
Snape, again, felt disappointed in her for not showing but recognized she may have been wary about being able to confront Potter and people she considered friends. Although Snape had now idea as to how attached Lily was to Potter already, her emotional reaction yesterday gave him an indication that it was fairly significant. In hindsight, it was probably a poor calculation on his part to ask Lily to come along since she might not have been able to handle the situation he anticipated emotionally. It was good she had jilted him this night. Lily was too sensitive and forgiving to deal with these boys as they deserved to be.
Snape, however, did not suffer from such complication.
* * *
It took James two minutes to find his way out of the castle and into the blizzard. Carefully estimating where the Willow entrance was and hoping the manic tree was still deactivated, James changed over into his stag form as four legs moved faster than two.
The tree was dormant, to his relief, and James didn't even slow his stride as he took into the passageway and charged full gallop ahead. James felt himself hit and scrap against the walls as he moved. He considered changing back into his normal form, but realized that he was still moving faster in spite of his constant collisions with the wall and ceiling that he would as a human with unhindered movement. Adrenaline kept James moving and helped him to ignore the burning of his lungs and the pain of his scrapes and bruises.
A flicker of light caught his attention in the vast darkness of the corridor. Abandoning his Animage form, James continued running ahead as he called out.
"SNAPE! STOP!"
The light stopped moving forward, waiting for James to catch up. James kept running until he could see Snape's silhouette in the dark. Collapsing against the wall, James panted breathlessly as Snape approached him slowly.
"Potter." Snape hissed. James couldn't decide if he was angry or thrilled to see him. Snape had his wand pointed straight at James and seemed more than willing to curse him if it called for it. Trying not to do anything sudden, James attempted to regain his breath as he felt Snape's eyes looking him over.
"You're a bloody mess." Snape observed without concern. James glanced at himself. He was covered in fresh cuts and bruises being stung by the damp earth around them. Mud and blood tarnished his hands and parts of his face.
"I know." James choked out. "I had to catch up to you."
"You expected me?" Snape asked coldly. "Lily told you then. And you tried to warn your friends. Or were you planning on dispensing with me yourself?
"Lily told me nothing." James lied slightly; he didn't want Snape to blame Lily for something that wasn't her fault. "I took the letter you sent to her and read it."
"Fifteen points from Gryffindor." Snape decided with a hint of amusement. "Theft of mail, Potter? Tsk, tsk. I suppose it will be a drop in the bucket once everyone knows about whatever dirty little secret you and your friends are harboring just ahead."
James glanced passed Snape and saw the door leading into the Shrieking Shack was only a few strides away from them. Feeling himself pale, James turned to Snape and prayed he would believe him.
"Look, Snape." James started adamantly. "It's a trick. I don't know how you came across whatever note you found, but it's completely false. Sirius just wanted to get you out in this storm, let you wander about for a bit, maybe fall on your ass over an ice patch, but find nothing. You're on a wild goose chase, Snape. Let's head on back."
Snape studied James, cocking his head slightly to the side, before a hollow sounding chuckle passed out of his throat. The echo was unnerving to James.
"Nice try, Potter." Snape smirked sarcastically. "But I'm not a fool. I'm supposed to assume you'd bother to come all this way, in all this hurry, just to prevent me from catching a cold?"
"If a man doesn't have his health…" James shrugged, earning an unappreciative look from Snape.
"Spare me your, cheek." Snape snapped. "On your feet, Potter. We're going to find your friends and see what you've been hiding all this time, right under all our noses."
Snape kept his wand on James with a steady poise, like a serpent waiting to attack. James needed to get Snape and himself back the way they had come and quickly.
"Okay, I know we've been rivals, Snape, pretty much since we've come to Hogwarts, but listen to me." James appealed. "It's clear to me Sirius was plotting something I'm sure he thought would be funny, but it's not. I'm not entirely sure what it is, but I know it might be dangerous if we don't head back. He was luring you here for a reason, Snape, and I think he went too far on this. We might not like one another, but I don't think EITHER of us are so embittered that we truly wish to see the other seriously hurt."
Snape was silent, listening to the sincerity in James's voice. Licking his lips, James hoped Snape was starting to believe him.
"How's this?" James offered. "You've got me right here with enough to land me in detention from now until the O.W.L.s. March me right back to McGonagall, I'll admit to everything I've told you, from tricking you to all the other misdeeds you can nail me for. I'll be sure Sirius gets his for this too. Just trust me when I say I know my friends are up to no good and I want to make sure nothing we'll ALL regret transpires tonight."
Snape was still silent before a short laugh passed his lips.
"Very convincing, Potter." Snape snorted. "Perhaps you'll find work as an actor now that you've failed as a wizard."
James sighed, running his hand through his hair. Snape shook his wand at James disapprovingly.
"Keep those hands visible." Snape order as he gestured towards the door leading into the Shack. "Go on, ahead. Don't worry; I'll keep an eye on your back since you've been so generous in watching out for mine."
James grumbled to himself as he moved pass Snape and towards the door. Stopping abruptly, James turned to face Snape again.
"I'm being honest, Snape."
"Enough."
James closed his eyes and bit his lip in frustration. He had no choice, he had to tell Snape what was waiting for him and hoped that would be enough. If he kept stalling, James knew he'd have spent whatever waning credibility he had with Snape and they'd be walking right up to a werewolf under a full moon. James stared Snape square in the eye.
"It's a werewolf." James said firmly.
"What?"
"A werewolf." James repeated. "That's what's behind here. That's the big secret we've been hiding. It's a full moon, Snape. We'll be walking to our deaths if we go on ahead. It's the truth. If we stand here for a moment, I'm sure we'll hear it."
Snape seemed more than irritated now.
"It's beyond me how you get away with so much considering how fantastic your lies are." Snape growled. "You're grasping at straws, Potter. Move."
Grasping at straws.
James thought quickly. Realizing he might have an ace up his sleeve that he didn't even realize, James threw on his most distraught and relenting expression (which was pretty natural by this point)
"If you INSIST upon going ahead, can I at least have my wand out?" James requested. "I mean, I don't want to have to use an action drawing it when we run into certain doom."
Snape seemed slightly perturbed. James didn't know if it was because he wouldn't drop going on about a werewolf or just the thought of James having his wand.
"I think not." Snape answered shortly.
"Oh come on." James pleaded. "I'll keep it at my side and you can keep your wand on me, well, until we meet the werewolf, I imagine."
"In all honesty, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the wand even being in your robes, Potter." Snape approached James. "I think I'll hang onto it and if we run into a creature of the night I'll be sure to return it. Arms out."
James obliged as Snape felt into his outer robes. A quizzical expression crossed his face as he took a step away from James and examined the two wands in his hands. Studying the extra wand, Snape's eyes met James.
"What are you doing with Evans's wand in your possession?" Snape demanded, obviously jarred by this.
It wasn't hard for James to look guilty over this. The look on Snape's face left James to wonder if he was going to hex him right on the spot for whatever he was suspecting. The light from his wand showed Snape's eyes were narrow and accusing. His teeth were bared.
"It's odd that you're covered in cuts and bruises." Snape spoke in a damning tone. "It is even more peculiar that Lily has yet to arrive on the scene and you have her wand. A girl who is charmed by you, trusts you, could easily be led off to some dark corner of the school. Is that why you didn't join your friends tonight, Potter? So you could exploit Lily's affection for you? Not enough willing candidates about to your liking?"
James's eyes went wide at what Snape was insinuating and felt offended to his core. He had wanted Snape to find the wand; he had wanted Snape to be curious as to how James had gotten it and where Lily was without it. He did NOT want to listen to Severus Snape accuse him of assaulting Lily.
"Hold on there!" James screamed. "Don't you DARE suggest anything like that of me again or I swear you'll be lucky if I feed you to a ruddy werewolf!"
"Where. Is. Lily?" Snape was unimpressed by James's outburst.
"In a closet. I locked her in so she wouldn't follow me." James realized this wasn't helping his case.
"Show me. NOW!" Snape barked, enraged and no longer interested in whatever Sirius and the others were hiding. James walked past Snape, glaring at him as he headed back up the way they had come. Although he no longer had a werewolf to worry about, James was still a far cry from relieved as they made their way back to the school at a hurried pace.
* * *
I hear voices.
One is a friend, but the other is not.
Blood. Fresh.
I smell it.
So hard to control myself.
Blood and voices.
Keep control.
The moon calls to me.
It calls for blood.
The voices are leaving this place.
Perhaps I will as well.
* * *
James and Snape remained in silence, hating each others company, until they were clear of the passage and back in the school. It was then Snape started to hiss in James's ear.
"They'll expel you for sure after this, Potter." Snape informed. "I doubt even the ever-forgiving Dumbledore will turn a blind eye to what you've accomplished for yourself this night."
"I didn't rape Lily." James seethed.
"Oh, I'm sure you didn't." Snape confided. "But there are a great many loathsome things you can do to a person aside from that. You'll also be happy to know I've decided to take your word on there being a werewolf. In fact, I'll wager its Lupin."
Snape took the sudden tension to course through Potter along with his silence as a confirmation.
"It makes sense once all things are placed together." Snape went on. "His sickly disposition, gone always around the time of the full moon. How dangerous such a thing could be to all the students and faculty here. I'm sure the Aurors will see it that way once they're called in. That is, after they're done sorting through what your crimes against Lily."
"Lily's fine." James spat out.
"I'll believe that when I see it." Was Snape's reply.
"Lily was insistent upon going and I didn't know if I would catch up to you in time." James explained in a tired tone. "I couldn't let her walk into a confrontation with a werewolf so I tried to keep her out of harm's way. It's not as though I regard it as my finest hour and you'd have done something similar in my position."
"No I wouldn't have." Snape sneered at Potter comparing them. "I'm not so self-important that I can't recognize talent and capability when it's right in front of me. Or, in your case, if you're snogging it."
"So THAT'S what this is about." James laughed humorlessly.
"Don't even attempt to analyze me or my motives, Potter." Snape warned. "Not with the myriad of faults in your own possession. Betraying lovers, betraying your best friends; I'm ever so privileged to be up close to the epitome of the chivalry and loyalty Gryffindor has to offer."
"I didn't betray Lily and I'm not betraying Sirius!" James growled. "He went overboard with this and I'm putting a stop to it before he gets more than he bargained for. That's what friends need to do at times."
"Whatever you need to tell yourself." Snape replied in a mocking sympathetic tone.
"Don't worry about it, Snape." James rolled his eyes. "I don't expect YOU to understand how complicated friendships can be. After all, the closest you've probably ever had to one was that abnormal thing you share with Lily."
"Abnormal?" Snape's voice seethed. "I suppose I could have snuck into her room like a voyeur OR assaulted her with explosives OR showed utter disrespect for her position as a Prefect and person in general OR battered her before locking her in a confined space, but then how else would the Great James Potter court women who are the subject of his disturbed fixations?"
How dare Potter critique his social conduct with Lily after all the stunts he'd pulled with her? Underneath Potter's captivating presence and boyish charm lurked an unbalanced mind that was egotistical, manipulative, and, above all, an invitation for danger. No one wanted to recognize that quality in James Potter even though all the signs were there, but Snape couldn't bleat his praises along with the rest of the sheep at Hogwarts. He had tried to warn Lily about what sort of a man Potter was fashioning himself into, but she was so stubborn when it came to her faith in people.
The same sort of stubbornness she displayed toward him.
It was a pity Lily had to learn the hard way and have her trust betrayed by this rogue she had defended but things could have ended far worse for her, Snape had to admit with relief. She'd see what Potter was like now, just as Snape had always seen him.
"I imagine this will be the final nail in the coffin of whatever tryst you and Evans entertained." Snape decided as they had finally made their ways back into the castle walls.
James sucked in a deep breath before grinding his teeth. Snape was such an ignorant git for going on with all his assumptions, but James couldn't ignore that maybe the tactless creep had a point in all this. Compared to all the bizarre and thoughtless things he had done to Lily, she and Snape had an almost healthy association. Even if he could admit that to himself, James would never give Snape any indication that he was ever right about anything concerning his life, let alone the parts of it with Lily.
"You're mighty lucky you have that wand pointed at me Snape or I'd be settle things much like a Muggle would at this moment." James glared over his shoulder before facing forward again.
"Ah, but that's not the situation now is it, Potter?" Snape sneered. "Because here we are. Taking what will probably be your last stroll through Hogwarts once it's brought to light how you and your group have been harboring a werewolf, attacking Prefects, and endangering the safety of the students in general. It's fortunate I was able to subdue the ringleader of such a menace to the school's population. Do you suppose I'll receive a special service award for all this?"
James was more determined than ever to knock that condescending tone out of Snape's voice.
"Don't romanticize this by prattling on how the elusive James Potter finally made a fatal mistake you were able to monopolize off of..." James interrupted shortly. "…You didn't catch me, I handed myself over to you. If I hadn't walked right up to you in the passage and confessed everything, you'd still be as clueless as you always are about everything I do. It's sort of funny if you think about it. I mean, you couldn't have caught me if I hadn't of helped you."
James smugly glanced over his shoulder again to see he had succeeded in agitating Snape before he threw a jibe right to his pasty face.
"So I think if you get a trophy for all this, my name should be somewhere on it too since I did half the work for you. Does that diminish your satisfaction in all this?"
"Fret not, Potter. I believe I'll perk right back up when I watch them break your wand in front of your face." Snape assured.
James went back to facing forward. Were they going to get expelled for all this? He couldn't be sure. Hopefully Lily would at least clear him of the vicious assault Snape would vividly describe before she never spoke to him again and Dumbledore was well aware of Remus's condition and where the boys go, but Sirius was the wild card in all this.
James didn't know why, but he was sure Sirius had been luring Snape out. It wasn't just dangerous, it was stupid. If Snape hadn't been hurt, bitten, or killed, Remus would be exposed to the school in the very least. James felt furious at his best friend at the moment.
Was Sirius so compelled to get at Snape that he was willing to risk and ruin lives to do it?
James stopped in front of the closet were he had left Lily.
"In here." James nodded towards the door.
Snape stepped in front of the door and pointed his wand.
"Alohomora!"
The door swung open to reveal an empty closet. Snape turned to Potter crossly, to find him staring into the space just as surprised.
"I left her here." James insisted. "She must have gotten out."
"Good. You'll be able to see her in Dumbledore's office one last time before they expel you." Snape motioned for James to head in that direction. James didn't budge.
"Are you really that thick?" James marveled. "She thinks the two of us are in mortal peril, where do YOU think Lily ran off to?"
Snape studied James before he became even more pale and rigid than usual.
"Without a wand?" Snape questioned in disbelief.
"If you thought Lily was about to meet some horrible fate, would it deter you?" James snapped. "Because she IS and I'm NOT deterred!"
James bolted down the corridor, uncaring if Snape decided to hex him in the back for running off. Snape chased after him.
"Potter!" He called from behind. James turned as Snape returned his wand. "I'm only doing this because I can trust you on this issue. Now swear on something I'll believe that you'll make good on your word that you'll confess to everything once Lily's out of peril. I don't want to get into a battle of my word against yours later on when we're explaining this mess tonight."
"I swear I will abandon all hope of being with Lily Evans if I don't." James vowed.
"Well you might as well do that anyways, but it will do." Snape sneered as they made their way back out into the storm.
1t was now 1977.
Neither had noticed.
* * *
* * *
AFTERWARDS
Peter: Hey Sirius, aren't you usually the one to hook up with Arabella?
Sirius: Not this fan fiction, I suppose.
Arabella: Sorry, Sirius, but Remus is MAN-TASTIC!
So we find out a little bit about Sirius's family in this chapter since it might come up later <pretends to look innocent>. I figured Sirius seems like the type who was the "baby" of the family and with nothing but a bunch of sisters to torment, no wonder he's the lovable little prankster he is. Since Sirius is the name of a star I figure his parents might have something of a pattern going on so that's how I came up with the other siblings' names.
Acontiae = Shooting Star
Aurora = Dawn
Celestine = Derivative of Celeste or heavenly.
I'm also VERY SORRY these chapters have been so long lately and I promise I plan on reducing their content after this and the next one. I just have a lot I'm trying to get out at once.
Enjoy the song selection I think very much applies this time around ~_"
* * *
The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret
By: Queens of the Stone Age
* * *
I've got a secret, I cannot sayBlame all the movement to give it awayYou've got something, I understandHolding it tightly, caught on commandLeap of faith, do you doubt?Cut you in, I just cut you out Whatever you doDon't tell anyoneWhatever you doDon't tell anyone Look for reflections, in your faceCanine devotion, time can't eraseOut on the corner, locked in your roomI never believe them and I never assumeStill can't believe there is a liePromises promise, an eye for an eyeWe've got something to revealNo one can know how we feel Whatever you doDon't tell anyoneWhatever you doDon't tell anyone Whatever you doDon't tell anyoneWhatever you doDon't tell anyone I think you already knowHow far I'd go not to sayYou know the art is goneAnd I'm taking this all to the grave Whatever you doDon't tell anyoneWhatever you doDon't tell anyone