FOREWORDS
* * *
~ Fractured Words ~
By: Oy! Angelina
Beta By: jkit10
* * *
At ten o'clock curfew was called for students to all return to their house dormitories. At eleven, students were expected to be in their bedrooms, readying themselves for bed. By twelve most Heads of House insisted that students have themselves settled in for the night.
It was eleven-fifty when Lily started to shoo the Gryffindors settled within the house commons up towards their respective dorms. Deflecting the minor protests thrown her way, Lily watched her housemates file upstairs before noticing James was still entirely settled at one of the long wooden study tables off to the side. Taking long strides over to her boyfriend, Lily stood peering over his shoulder. James was so entranced by what appeared to be Arithmancy charts that he didn't even comment on her presence.
"Alright Mr. Potter, up to bed with you," Lily said in a light tone, "Can't have you falling asleep at your lessons tomorrow can we?"
"Can't have me fall behind on them either," James returned, stealing a glance and a quick peck on the cheek.
For the past few days that seemed to be the most affection James was willing to offer Lily's way. She swore she saw more gestures of fondness from James when they were simply carrying on as friends.
"I don't see how you can be worried about that, considering all I see you do is study lately," Lily noted.
"Don't know why you're complaining," James shrugged. "At least no one can say you're dating anything short of a top-notch wizard who happens to be well informed on a great many things."
Ever since she had found him studying on the pitch, James had been throwing himself headlong into his homework as well as additional practice for their classes. He kept at least one text on his person at all times so he could be looking over something when walking through corridors or even while sitting down to meals. It was beginning to frustrate Lily since every spare moment James had seemed to be devoted to burying his nose in a book.
Even she spent less time studying and she was up for Head Girl just as he was for Head Boy.
"Is there something in specific you're looking for, James?" asked Lily. "What I mean to say is, are you researching something?"
"Nothing so interesting, luv," James divulged as he turned a page.
"So you're just studying for the sake of studying," Lily attempted to clarify.
"Well it's not like it's all that fun," James corrected, "But it's just one of those things that needs to be done."
"I see." Lily began to rethink her strategy.
It seemed that she was always coming across James as he was in the middle of reading one thing or taking notes on another. She didn't want to distract him from his schoolwork, but she would like to have some time spent with her boyfriend that wasn't centered around completing Professor Heilsing's assignment or participating in some study group.
"How about tomorrow you take a break from all the book work and we do something together? It doesn't have to be anything too grand since you're probably worn between studying and Quidditch practice. I was thinking a walk around the lake or maybe just a cozy evening by the fire," Lily suggested.
If James was committed to studying, she didn't want to hinder him on his efforts by constantly interrupting him, so she figured it was more than fair to ask him to set some time aside to seeing her away from an academic pretense.
"I can't. I'll be out at Hogsmeade with the rest of the boys. You know, for Remus," James reported, applying fresh ink to his quill tip.
"Oh that's right," Lily nodded, hoping her disappointment wasn't all that evident in her voice.
"We'll work something out when I get back," James promised in a distracted voice.
Lily felt like her heart was a stone in a pond.
"Okay," Lily agreed reluctantly. "Well, don't stay up too late. You know Professor McGonagall doesn't really want us up past midnight unless it's right before exams."
"I know, goodnight Lily." James sent her off.
"Goodnight James," Lily returned as she walked towards the stairs, stopping at the foot of them.
"James… you're not avoiding me, are you?"
James stopped writing briefly as he turned his eyes on Lily from across the room.
"No, that's not it… I've just been busy," James insisted.
"But I don't understand why you're suddenly so preoccupied with a million things," Lily sighed, "I also don't understand why I'm not one of them."
"You are, Lily," James assured, breathing his own sigh and pushing his weary hands through his hair. "I just have things on my mind."
"What sorts of things?" Lily pressed. "If something's troubling you, I'd like to try and help."
"I'm fine," James replied as he retuned to his quillwork, "It's nothing to concern yourself with. I'm just dealing with some things that suddenly came up. The sort of things you can really only see to properly yourself."
"What does that mean?" Lily questioned aloud.
"It means sweet dreams Lily, I'll see you in the morning," James opened another book and traced his vision across the page.
Not knowing what else to say, Lily turned around and climbed the steps before her as though her shoes were made of lead.
Rejection.
Lily felt its cold and bitter presence sting her as she went from troubled thoughts into restless dreams.
* * *
~ One Week Later ~
* * *
During a mid-April morning, low fog clung around the knees of the 6th year Care for Magical Creatures lesson as their class convened near the edge of the Forbidden Forest just off from the school stables. Once Professor Kettleburn arrived, the students finished their series of stretches and yawns as they internally steeled themselves for whatever their lesson would entail that day.
"Okay we're going to deviate from the lesson plan I originally had intended for today on account of an unanticipated threat to the school's ecosphere," Professor Kettleburn announced to the class. "Now, a nest of Ersatz Dragons have hatched in that brush of tall grass over by the Dark Forest. Since this is a bit of an odd creature and a bit obscure to our lessons I think I'll award house points to people who can offer up some information on them. Which of you can tell me where the Ersatz Dragons are native to?"
Kettleburn nodded to Bronwyn Weaver, one of the few Ravenclaws present in the class, who was standing next to Gwen McGinnis with her hand poised.
"Ersatz Dragons are indigenous to the Germanic regions," said Bronwyn promptly. Gwen smiled encouragingly at Bronwyn, obviously impressed she knew the answer.
"Excellent, five points for Ravenclaw," said Professor Kettleburn, "and who can tell me something interesting about the classification of Ersatz Dragons as well as what they look like? Mr. Macnair?"
Walden Macnair lowered his hand and looked over his peers with a smug and gruff expression. Although he held miserable marks in virtually all his other classes, Macnair appeared to have something of an aptitude for remembering facts about magical animals. He joined Winifred Wilkes, Hekate Undercross, and Florence Copia as the only Slytherins in their year who enrolled in the class, mostly on account of its tendency to attract Muggle born students to which Copia and Wilkes were indifferent to, and Undercross and Macnair were more than capable of bullying.
"Ersatz Dragons aren't dragons at all," said Macnair with a superior expression. "They're not large enough to qualify as a dragon since the biggest they can get to be is about six feel long and a foot and a half wide and they lack appendages other than a set of wings. Also, they can't use their wings for flying, only gliding."
"Well done, Macnair! Five points to Slytherin. How many eggs are usually in a clutch? Travers?"
"Um, five?" Travers said, obviously guessing.
"Three to five, so partial credit to Hufflepuff with three points," Professor Kettleburn bartered reasonably, "Now, we need to round them all up before they shed their first skins. Can anyone tell me why? Mr. Lupin?"
"About a week after hatching the Ersatz shed their skin and are then capable of emitting small puffs of fire from their mouths," replied Remus. "If they're living in a collection of tall grass neighboring the Forbidden Forest they could set the whole area ablaze just by being here."
A low murmur of chatter rose amongst the 6th years at the thought of such a possibility.
"Right you are, five points to Gryffindor," agreed Kettleburn before he resumed his lecture. "Now, I'm going to have half of you wade into the brush over there and flush out the Ersatz Dragons while the other half of you fan out, forming a perimeter so you can stun them when they come darting out."
The class exchanged uncomfortable looks between themselves and the direction of the tall grass. No one appeared to be all that fond of the idea of walking in waste high grass while being blind to pesky serpents nipping at their feet or jumping out at them from the sides. Raising her hand, Arabella waved for Professor Kettleburn's attention.
"Excuse me, but do these creatures bite?" Arabella inquired.
"Oh ABSOLUTELY. I imagine they will be doing a lot of it since they don't have any jets of fire to rely upon yet," Professor Kettleburn confirmed, causing many of his students to pale. "It would probably be best for you girls to stay out of the grass since you're all bare-legged in those skirts of yours. At least the Ersatz have to chew through a little fabric to get at the boys with their uniforms."
No one appeared to be particularly comforted by this currently working plan. Wide-eyed, Arabella raised her hand again.
"Pardon Professor, what size are they typically?" demanded Arabella in a progressively rising pitch. Remus placed a hand on Arabella's shoulder to serve as a consoling gesture. It was uncertain as to whether it was for his benefit or hers. Professor Kettleburn pondered Arabella's question thoughtfully.
"How big would you guess an Ersatz Dragon would be after hatching, Mr. Macnair?" inquired Kettleburn.
"I'd say about two and a half feet long and six inches wide." Macnair shrugged as though it weren't that intimidating.
Arabella's hand shot up once more.
"Yes, Miss Figg?"
"Just one more question sir," assured Arabella in a shrill screech, "Are you BLOODY MAD having us chase down these horrible little things?"
"Before you launch into further wailing and moaning, I should mention that I had the 7th years track down the parents of the nest earlier this morning," Professor Kettleburn announced.
The 6th years promptly ceased complaining at the idea of chasing down full-sized, fire-breathing, gliding beasts that were as big as most of they were.
"If you're all done, ladies, I want you to flank all sides of the grass and have your wands ready to stun anything that comes out past you," Kettleburn instructed. "Boys, head out into the grass and do what you can to make a lot of noise to scare the creatures out."
"Does panicked screaming count?" Peter asked the other Marauders as they made their way towards the brush with unhappy expression.
"I should have brought Rick out with me," Sirius decided.
"Why would you want to feed your mongoose to an imitation dragon?" Remus joked, earning a scowl from Sirius.
"Bugger off, Moony! Rick could have his way with anything that crawls on its belly and has scales," Sirius insisted defensively about the skills of his familiar.
"Sounds a lot like his master," Peter snorted as his eyes wandered over towards Florence Copia and Winifred Wilkes who were taking position near a side of the overgrowth.
"Wormtail, I BLOODY SWEAR that you are a centimeter off from breathing those cute comments of yours through a fresh hole in your windpipe," Sirius warned as he shoved the boy ahead of the rest of them.
Remus shook his head, smiling to himself, and nudged James to join in but the scruffy haired ringleader was unusually quiet that morning considering they were in one of his favorite classes.
"Are you feeling alright Prongs?" Remus pressed curiously.
"Just lots on my mind," was all James would confess to. "Now I have dragon hunting to toss on the list."
"I think we all could have done without this," Remus nodded as the boys started to fan out.
* * *
Walking around to a side of the tall grass, Lily and Arabella stood a few paces off from one another as they kept their wands at their sides and eyes sharply ahead. The mist on the ground was only going to add problems to their attempts at their makeshift assignment, as neither of the girls could really make out the tops of their shoes. Once the boys of the class were well in the thick of the patch, Lily decided it would be safe to speak up.
"James has been acting odd recently," Lily announced to Arabella.
"Has he?" Arabella questioned, turning her head.
"You haven't noticed?" Lily raised an eyebrow.
"Well, he's been studying a lot, but who hasn't," Arabella shrugged.
"It's something more than that," Lily insisted, "Something's bothering him, I know it. It's like he's trying to distract himself with schoolwork and Quidditch so he doesn't have to worry about it or has an excuse to put it off."
"Well maybe he wants to break up with you," Arabella replied.
Lily dropped her wand into the grass next to her but chose to gawk at her friend rather than retrieve it.
"Are you serious?" Lily demanded.
"Good heavens, no!" Arabella gaped at Lily. "I was TEASING! Why would James want to break up with you, you daft girl?"
Lily bent to reclaim her wand and straightened herself in both posture and composure.
"Then I don't know what to think about things then," Lily sighed, "I don't get why he won't tell me what's wrong if it's not about me."
"Maybe that's the problem," Arabella offered. "There IS NO problem."
"What do you mean?" asked Lily.
"Well, isn't it possible that James is just catching up on some much needed work?" Arabella went on, "He's in line for Head Boy and has that whole rivalry with Snape, so you know he'll be desperate to win out. That's probably why he's cracking down on the studying since that's all Snape does in place of actually having a life. And since the last Quidditch match is about a week away I imagine James is just getting himself pumped up for taking on Ravenclaw."
"I suppose that makes sense," Lily muttered thoughtfully as she watched James stride between the grass paying A LOT of attention to where he place his next step. "I just can't shake the feeling that it's like he's just going through the motions of being my boyfriend. As though it's some kind of chore he's expected to keep on top of."
"God, you sound like me with all this whining and irrational conclusion jumping," Arabella rolled her eyes, "and THAT should give you a grand idea of how mad you sound."
"You really think I'm being silly?" Lily fidgeted slightly.
"From what I can tell, yes, but you are his girlfriend so you would have a better idea than me if there was something off," Arabella admitted. "It's probably nothing but IF something IS bothering James it'll do you no good trying to force him into volunteering the information. He'll tell you what it is when he's ready."
Arabella threw a supportive look to the perturbed redhead.
"Whatever it is, I know it's not you."
"Thank you for that," Lily smiled weakly.
It was then Riley McKinnon, a Hufflepuff, cried out in surprise and leapt nearly five feet into the air away from the place he had just been standing. His brother, Bradley, stifled a laugh into his fist as he watched the scene. Arabella and Lily erupted into a few chuckles themselves.
"You know it's not going to be all that amusing when one of those things comes flying at us," Lily noted, still grinning.
"Oh I imagine I'll simply die on the spot!" Arabella confessed with a laugh.
* * *
Evan Rosier felt himself growing exceptionally nervous as he maneuvered a path through the tall blades of grass, but it had little to do with dragon-like creatures. He was stealing more than one glance in the direction of Winifred Wilkes but found precious little resolve to do anything more than that.
For nearly two years, Evan had always tried to find some means to strike up a dialogue with Wilkes that would show her that he was a good-natured, accommodating boy if not a bit shy.
All right, a lot shy.
Regardless, Evan had trained up and fought hard for his position on the House Quidditch team when Tristan found out that Wilkes fancied the sport. He had hoped this thing in common might be something they could talk about, but every time Evan could remember addressing Wilkes something always went wrong with the conversation and he felt like he was wasting her time with his fidgeting and stumbling words. Probably the largest reason he was going along with Tristan's attempts to sweet talk Lestrange and Tudor was so he could figure out something that he might be able to use to help him not seem so utterly pathetic when he bothered to speak with Wilkes.
Evan didn't know why it was Wilkes that he was so keen on. There had been other girls more than interested in getting to know him better than casually, but Evan simply couldn't get that teasing smile or demure poise out of his mind. Evan guessed that the reason he wanted Wilkes was because he had to work so hard to get her. Maybe it was something in that Hufflepuff nature of his but the idea of proving to someone as aloof as Wilkes that he was the most worthwhile guy around was possibly more appealing than actually dating Wilkes herself.
Like many times before this one, it wasn't long before his best friend, Tristan Travers, caught him looking at the Slytherin.
"Dear Merlin, talk to her or I'll owl your parents telling them you'll be needing an arranged marriage as soon as they can get enough sheep together to sell you off with," Tristan rolled his eyes with an annoyed expression.
"Tristan, women offer up the dowry in arranged marriages," Evan corrected his friend, having History as one of his better subjects.
"Yeah, well what do you think you're giving a fair impersonation of," Tristan smirked, "Come on! We are the men-folk, meaning our job is to be assertive and persistent. Coy and shy are the girl's bag in all this so get off your arse and walk over to Wilkes and tell her how it is."
Evan wrinkled his nose as though something particularly rancid just crossed under it.
"It doesn't really work like that," Evan insisted before eyeing his friend more curiously, "Does it?"
"Well, only one way to find out," Tristan shrugged. "But I can assure you that nancying about like lass waiting for a Quidditch captain to ask her to the ball isn't the way to go."
Making a disgusted noise, Evan felt himself walking away from Tristan and towards Wilkes. He hated to admit it but whenever Tristan started in on him with his philosophies about how the world was expected to turn, Evan more often than not went along with it. Not that it was incredibly hard to badger him into most things anyway.
Evan just had one of those conformist personalities.
Noticing Wilkes was now watching him, expectant of his approach, Evan felt his palms begin to sweat. He hadn't actually thought out what he was going to say to Wilkes upon arrival, but he couldn't back down now that it felt like every eye in class was watching him. Evan could only hope that he didn't make too much of an idiot out of himself.
"Hey, Wilkes?" Evan called tentatively as he neared the Slytherin girl, "Is it alright if… I mean, do you have a moment?"
"Several, in fact," said Wilkes with a smile wiggling on her lips.
Evan almost wished she wasn't smiling since it was making him more nervous than he already felt. Clearing the anxiety lodged in his throat through a rather audible noise, he pressed on.
"Well, Winifred… is it alright if I call you Winifred?" asked Evan awkwardly.
"I see no harm since it is my name," replied Winifred casually.
"Yes. . . of course, um, feel free to call me Evan . . . if you'd care to," offered Evan.
"Alright Rosier," Wilkes nodded, as she was evidently curious to see where the Hufflepuff was going with this dialogue. Evan was curious himself and tried not to be put off by her maintaining formalities.
"Well, I was thinking that O.W.L's are going to be right on top of us pretty soon and I was looking to put together a study group to prepare for them and I've heard you're brilliant in Herbology and was thinking that we could use someone like that… if you're interested that is." As Evan explained, he could feel his mouth going drier with each new word passing through it.
"And there's no one in Hufflepuff as good at Herbology as me?" questioned Wilkes as she cocked her head to one side. "I mean, Professor Sprout is the head of your house and all."
"Well, I'm sure there are some, but I think you're the best in our year," said Evan with a shy shrug.
"That's flattering you think so, thank you Evan," Wilkes smiled appreciatively as she patted him on the shoulder. "The thing is, Sirius Black already offered to help prep me for our exams and since I've already agreed to that, I'm not sure how much time I'll have free considering our regular lessons and everything else."
"I… I understand," Evan nodded, feeling his heart sink with each bob. "Still, if you change your mind or if you and Black are looking for company then let me know and we'll fit you in."
"I'll mention it to him," Wilkes promised. "You should probably get back to scaring out game while I attempt to bring it down."
"Er… right," agreed Evan reluctantly, as he started to make his way back towards the center of the brush. "I'll talk with you later then."
Wading through the thick blades of grass with no particular care of whether a Ersatz Dragon bit him or not, Evan sought out Tristan with a heavy expression as his friend studied him with an expectant look.
"Well?" Tristan demanded.
"Oh god that went HORRIBLE!" Evan moaned, distraught, "I couldn't have been more pathetic if I had set out to do just that!"
"What happened?" asked Tristan, stealing a glance of Winifred to see if she had any telling expression.
"I suggested we get together to form a study group, tripping over my own tongue on every single word." Evan relived his conversational failure. "She said that she was planning on studying with Black. No wonder, since I must have come across as a squib with all that stuttering. She probably thinks I'm as thick as all those jokes and rumors say that the other houses spread about us Hufflepuffs!"
"What a haughty little she-beast!" Tristan spat, glaring hotly at Wilkes. "I have half a mind to hex her into the new millennium for that forked tongue of hers."
"Why? I'm the one making a fool of myself," Evan insisted in a relatively angst-ridden voice, "she just - "
"She just blew you off for Black!" Tristan finished with a growl, turning his scowl on the Gryffindor boy. "I can't believe that she's content to pass up a decent bloke like you for some posturing peacock who won't look twice at her once he's had his fill! I never thought Wilkes was the swiftest broom in the pile and this bloody well proves it!"
Evan shoved Tristan in his shoulder with a cross expression.
"Lay off, alright?" Evan snapped.
"Look, Evan, obviously Wilkes isn't the right sort of girl for you, high-maintenance and all that rubbish. You wait two sodding years to say a sentence to her and she shoots you down like a sparrow in the sky," Tristan attempted to sooth his friend as he threw a friendly arm around his shoulders. "There are LOADS of girls far more worth your time than her. What about Meeks? She's sweeter than anything sold at Honeydukes and smart, too. Maybe Kinkade, she's pretty fun to joke about with and plays Beater like you so there's something you have in common. Or if you have your heart set on them Slytherin types, it's not like Copia ever says no to a chap."
Evan shrugged off Tristan's arm, staring at him with a look that would suggest he suddenly had a headache.
"Tristan… it doesn't work like that," Evan sighed. "I'm still keen on Wilkes but if I decide to change my mind it's not going to be on account of anything you say."
"I'm just trying to look out for my friend is all," Tristan replied with a note of defeat.
"I know, and I appreciate it." Evan forced a smile and a nod for Tristan's benefit. "I'll be fine, honest."
Reluctantly accepting this, Tristan could only shrug.
"Good." Tristan patted his friend's shoulder. "You know I'd do anything for you in the name of friendship, right?"
"I know," Evan stated confidently, "same goes for me. We've been close since first year. Those McKinnon boys have one another and we carry on like brothers anyway."
Travers sneered towards Bradley and Riley McKinnon, fraternal twin brothers that were in Hufflepuff along with them, at the mention of their family name.
"Don't get me going on those prats," Tristan requested, in a snarl that creased his face like a rabid animal's muzzle. "They act like they're untouchable to the world, all high and mighty. Someone's going to knock those two down a couple pegs and I hope to Merlin it's me."
"Thought you didn't want to get going on Brad and Riley," Evan chuckled.
"I didn't but then you brought them up!" Tristan chuckled back.
"Hey, less socializing you two!" Professor Kettleburn called from the other side of the grass. "We've still got a few more to round up."
Tristan and Evan fractured off into opposite directions. After a few more minutes of the young wizards patrolling within the grass, a loud assortment of hisses and cracks erupted from nearby the Gryffindor boys along with a collection of multicolored sparks. Nearly all the students jumped out of their skins at the sound of this and were even more shocked to find a small brushfire pop up at the site of the explosion. Quickly the boys began to cast watering charms in the direction of the blaze with Professor Kettleburn attempting to make his way over as fast as possible.
Preoccupied with the firefighting, Weaver and McGinnis let out startled shrieks as an Ersatz Dragon shot past them at a high speed, causing them to chase after it into the meadow shouting charms and waving their wands with the McKinnon brothers and a few more of their peers following behind them. Figg and Evans shared a similar experience with Wilkes and Copia jumping in after to help out.
Once the last of the creatures had been caught and the acidic smoke had cleared out of the air, Kettleburn treaded towards Potter, Lupin, Black, and Pettigrew with and impressively cross expression.
"And which of your BRILLIANT minds thought setting off explosives in dry grass was a STUNNING idea?!" Kettleburn demanded in a half-shout.
Lupin, Potter, and Black each turned to Pettigrew, who was using his best "who me?" expression at the moment. Once he realized that he was the only one putting it on, Pettigrew scowled at the other boys.
"Oh that's just DANDY!" Pettigrew huffed at his being sold out.
"That was just STUPID!" Black replied, which was even more insulting since such a criticism was, in fact, coming from Sirius Black.
"I think we need to have a word with Professor McGonagall," Kettleburn decided as he motioned for Pettigrew to follow after him. "As for the rest of you, put the Ersatzes in crates and in the stable, then class is dismissed for the day."
As the remainder of the class began to move to accommodate Kettleburn's instructions, Tristan shook his head to Evan while crossing his arms.
"I swear, if this doesn't set Wilkes straight on the type of people she should be hanging about, then she's an utterly hopeless case to invest in," said Tristan harshly.
Evan said nothing as he glanced over to Wilkes who had on an amused smile, in reaction to either the pyrotechnics display or the chewing-out, and sighed with frustration.
* * *
Hushed voices teased the afternoon air of the school library as Hogwarts students grappled with their studies.
Severus Snape was amongst them. He and Millicent Meeks were meeting to collaborate on their project. Welcoming the formal, academic setting the library offered, Severus was able to push Meeks's possible affections to the back of his mind in favor of problems it was far more adept at dealing with.
Complicated social situations were never his strong suit.
Given more than a week to consider his options, Severus decided to simply ignore Meeks's feelings as she didn't appear to be all that insistent upon expressing them. As far as he was concerned, Severus assumed that whatever had passed through Meeks's mind and quill had been a whim of the overrated sentimental fiasco that was Valentine 's Day that she had abandoned since. True, Meeks was friendly and helpful with him but this was no different from her disposition with anyone else at Hogwarts. In fact, Meeks had offered nothing to suggest that anything more than a casual friendship with him was her intent.
Of course, Meeks seemed painfully timid and very much repressed in the usual range of emotions that most people entertained. Whatever the circumstances, he mentioned nothing of Meeks to Aurora Black since he considered the situation to be more than contained and utterly inconsequential.
With Meeks off for the moment, speaking with Madam Pince, Severus was composing a rough outline for their paper when Regius Avery approached him in his usual flippant manner.
"Do you mind if Florence and I take up the other half of the table?" Avery inquired, setting his belongings down without waiting for an answer.
Severus took a quick glance around the library and noticed that nearly all the other tables were full and the ones with vacancies available were places that Sevreus himself personally wouldn't have cared to share. Wagering that Madam Pince wouldn't appreciate a trivial argument over seating arrangements all that much, Severus decided to pick his battles today.
"If you must," Severus relented as he returned to his quillwork.
Lounging in his chair, Avery brushed some blonde waves from his eyes and glanced over to his prefect.
"Your partner tardy as well?" asked Avery as he nodded over to the empty seat across from Severus.
"No, Meeks is simply using Professor Sprout's permission to retrieve some books from the restricted section," Severus explained, attempting to block out Avery's droning voice.
In Severus's opinion, Regius Avery was a painfully extroverted individual to the point he was constantly compelled to make conversation regardless of the company. Uncertain if this was some unconscious result of aristocratic breeding or some psychological phobia of silence, Severus still found it annoying as Avery rarely had anything truly original to offer in a dialogue.
Not that Avery bothered to make himself aware of such a thing.
"Well my partner's probably off gathering recent gossip… hopefully something interesting if she's going to keep me waiting," Avery yawned into his hand.
If Severus was capable of such emotions he might actually pity both Regius Avery and Florence Copia as well as their probable marks on Heilsing's assignment. The best either seemed able to manage was average standing in their year and considering how distracting their highly social personalities were Severus sincerely doubted they would fair as well this time around.
"So you and Meeks eh?" asked Avery as his eyes wandered the room.
Placing his quill down with a audible hiss of air between his teeth, Severus turned to Avery.
"Avery, before you embarrass yourself with whatever you were preparing to insinuate, Millicent Meeks and I posses nothing more meaningful than a working relationship," said Severus shortly.
He wanted to squelch Avery's speculations before either Copia or Millicent arrived. The very last thing he wanted was for either to get the wrong impression of the situation.
"If you say so," Avery shrugged peaceably. "I was just going to say that I thought Meeks made a fair match for you. She seems pretty smart, always struck me as more a Ravenclaw than a Gryffindor. And considering how low-maintenance and tolerant that girl is it's not like your usual. . .er. . .quirky personality would put her off all that much."
"I'm aware of Meeks's virtues, Avery," Severus replied in a cross tone, "and what I choose to do or not do with such knowledge is entirely independent of your meddling."
"Fine. . . die alone . . . whatever," Avery shrugged once more, although a little more irritably this time. Spying Florence Copia approaching them, Avery took his books out to start working with.
"Well, well," said Copia in her usual light-pitched voice as she sat down, "What am I missing out on?"
"Punctuality but that doesn't really matter all that much in life," Avery quipped. "I was just mentioning to Severus that I thought of Meeks as more of a Ravenclaw than a Gryffindor."
Severus groaned inwardly with disappointment that the subject wasn't being abandoned as he would have hoped. It was not only distracting worthwhile brain power from completing his work but it was obnoxiously intrusive.
"Oh certainly," Copia agreed, playing with her glossy black curls and smiling to Severus, "That your type now?"
"Meeks isn't all that different from Evans," Avery pointed out, completely ignorant of any relationship Copia and Severus may have once entertained.
"Oh I say it's entirely different," Copia challenged in a sweet voice that oozed insincerity like glaze off a bun. "Meeks is friendly without it seeming so fake and showy like Evans does. She's also smart but not in the know-it-all way Evans has to go about proving it. And it should be mentioned that the Meeks family has deeply planted wizarding roots."
"Considering that your popularity lacks as much refinement as your grasp of magic I'm not entirely confident you're in a position to judge Lily Evans," Severus interjected smugly.
"Oh she's shagging Potter, Severus, drop the bloody torch." Copia rolled her eyes.
Avery snorted a chuckle into his fist out of polite habit before straightening the amused look on his face back in place.
Ever since Lestrange and Tudor lost face to Winifred and him in February, Severus found that Copia and Avery, with the occasional presence of Nott, were far more insistent upon keeping company with him even though he was sure that none of them enjoyed it. It was simply how the worm turned in Slytherin, coiling around those who were on top.
Severus almost envied Lestrange and Tudor's heyday since that would mean Copia and Avery would be bothering them with their mindless chatter and nasally pitches than him.
Walking up with her recently acquired tome pressed against her chest, Millicent Meeks smiled politely to the new occupants of her table.
"Hello Mister Avery, Miss Copia," Meeks greeted as she took her seat. Avery and Copia smiled civilly and nodded in reply. Although she had a Slytherin on nearly all sides of her, Meeks appeared to be handling the situation far better than most other Gryffindors would in her place.
As before, Severus vainly hoped that his housemates would behave themselves.
"Severus, is there a Hogsmeade visit scheduled before the year's over?" asked Copia, evidently not concerned with pursuing any constructive work.
"The prefects were considering the weekend after the final Quidditch match so that they won't distract students from their exams," said Severus shortly.
"That will be nice," Avery nodded along with the conversation. A thoughtful expression crossed his sharp, aristocratic features before turning to Severus's partner. "Say, Meeks? Want to go together?"
Both Severus and Meeks stopped what they were doing to stare at Avery.
"Pardon?" Meeks questioned, apparently not all that certain as to how she should react.
"To Hogsmeade. You and I. Want to spend the day together?" Avery broke his invitation down in a simple, if not slightly condescending, tone. "Don't get hung up on the house politics of it all, dear. Florence and Black were an item once upon a time and Severus had his little whatever it was with Evans so apparently Slytherin/Gryffindor matches are all the rage for our year."
Severus's black eyes narrowed. He was convinced that Avery was attempting to test his reaction, force him to give something away of the situation.
"Um, well, I'm not sure." Meeks flushed bright pink as she appeared to be completely unable to make eye contact with anyone at the moment.
Avery sat back, looking far too impressed with himself at reducing Meeks to fractured words. He evidently took this as result of his supposedly suave charm rather than Meeks's shy nature. Severus was tempted to jump in and question Avery's motivations openly, however, he chose to restrain himself as such an effort was both suggestive and not his business.
"Well, we have a bit of time yet for you to mull over your social calendar," Avery shrugged, "Get back to me when you make up your mind."
Turning to Copia with a bored expression, Avery went on.
"Want to get out of here? I don't very much feel like studying today."
"Neither do I," Copia admitted as she stood up with Avery. Giving off a small wave to Severus and Meeks, the pair of Slytherins left the library without another word.
Meeks noticeable exhaled as they left.
"It's not my place to offer you advice on this matter, Miss Meeks, but you aren't obligated to attend any function with Avery if you don't care to," Severus pointed out.
"I - I know," Meeks nodded. "I'm just accustomed to Cassidy or Sirius or someone else being around to be… well… bold on my behalf. It's just that I'm not used to being put on the spot like this."
"Well, perhaps this will be a growing experience for you then," Severus suggested. "It's not as though you can make it all that far in life constantly looking at someone else to be brave for you."
"I suppose not," said Meeks as she opened a book and evidently attempted to return to the task at hand. After a few minutes of unfocused effort on her part, Meeks turned her gray eyes up to Severus.
"Forgive me for interrupting, but I was curious," Meeks apologized, "Are you saying that you would prefer… that is, you'd rather I not go to Hogsmeade with Mr. Avery?"
"I have no preferences, Miss Meeks," Severus explained decisively, "because I do not care what you do."
"Oh… I see."
It was then that Meeks's always sunny if not slightly apprehensive expression broke apart with a disheartened tint as she attempted to hide it unsuccessfully from behind a thick book.
It was also then that Severus realized that Meeks had not so entirely discarded the motivation that had inspired her to send him that post on Valentine's.
* * *
Lily felt like some kind of scoundrel lying in wait as she hovered by the Fat Lady portrait, waiting for James to arrive back at Gryffindor tower from his afternoon classes. Divination had been stifling in both temperature and content, leaving Lily certain that she was a fright with sweaty skin, damp clothing, and frizzy hair. In spite of all this, Lily was committed to talking to James before he invented some excuse for blowing her off.
After a few minutes and more than a few nosy questions from the Fat Lady portrait, James made his way towards the entrance offering Lily a smile. It was completely weak and forced. The same you'd expect someone to give after receiving socks for Christmas.
"How was Arithmancy?" Lily inquired to make polite conversation as she pecked James on the cheek.
"Usual stuff, blank charts requiring numbers," James shrugged before turning to the portrait doorway to speak the password. "Boysenberry."
Continuing on into the common room, Lily kept close to James's side like she was a second shadow.
"I was thinking that after you've finished with your Quidditch practice and I'm done with my prefect meeting, we could go back to my room and catch up," Lily said slightly suggestively, "I've barely seen hide or hair of you. It's like you're a stranger to me."
"Yeah I know," James nodded, "I've just been - "
"Busy," Lily finished. She was more than used to hearing that word by now.
"Yeah," James sighed, as he stopped in front of the stairs. "I've got some things to catch up on but how about if I make it to you by curfew. That way you won't have to worry about stepping out."
"Alright," Lily agreed, since this was the best offer she had received in almost two weeks. "Are you going to tell me what's been bothering you then?"
"I've told you nothing's bothering me," James reminded in a tired voice, as though it were a strain to repeat himself.
"You've told me that but everything about you suggests something else." Lily's eyes sought his. "You've been so removed and melancholy I can't even begin to know what's wrong but I know something is."
James shifted his posture and eyes a bit from Lily.
"I'm just a bit blue," James explained, "It's nothing you did so don't think that, okay? I'm not upset with you. I'm just… upset. That's all I can really say on it but it really has nothing to do with you."
"It does when you're so put out by it," Lily countered.
"I know you're trying to be helpful but badgering me really isn't going to accomplish much save for frustrating me," James warned fairly. "I have to get out on the pitch now, but I'll see you around ten. I'd really like to not talk about anything pertaining to my ill mood so long as I'm not taking it out on you, okay?"
"No my badgering won't accomplish anything," Lily imitated him, and shook her head, "but you've been acting like some sorry thing impersonating James Potter for practically a fortnight and I'm not supposed to be concerned by or question it? I can't just turn a blind eye while you sulk about the castle."
"Why not?" James challenged with a stony expression. "If you love me then why can't you just leave me be?"
"Because you're not acting like the James I love and I want him back!" Lily insisted heatedly.
"What if he doesn't come back?" James's question hit Lily like a harsh hex, "What if this is it?"
Lily took a deep breath to steel her composure.
"Don't talk like that," Lily pleaded. "It scares me more than you know to hear you talk just like that."
James shook his head like he was working off some sort of trance, his features softening slightly as he did.
"Lily, I'm sorry, I don't mean to scare you, honest," James assured in a tired voice, "I'm just not myself lately. We'll… we'll talk about that later. We both have things we need to do now."
"Yeah," Lily relented. "I guess I'll see you then."
James took Lily's hand and gave it a small squeeze before he climbed the stairs. Lily leaned against the wall for support and let out a loud sigh wondering what she was going to do with herself and James.
She wasn't even aware of Peter's presence until he tapped her on the shoulder.
"He tell you what's bothering him yet?" Peter asked.
"No," Lily replied with a relieved look. "You've noticed something's off too? I was beginning to think I was the only one who bothered."
"Well everyone else is so busy with their own lives that they've simply overlooked it all with James or have taken him on his word when he said he was fine. Since I don't have a life, I'm immune to this mass stupidity," Peter joked in a self-deprecating way.
"I gather he's said nothing to you then," Lily pressed.
"Nothing save for the same run-around he's been giving you," Peter confessed. "I reckon he's bound to tell one of us. You probably hold the better odds though."
"Lucky me," Lily closed her eyes.
* * *
In the mid afternoon, just as classes had finished up for the day in the school, Hagrid was done rounding up a fair amount of plum field mice to tide the Ersatz Dragons over until they were shipped back to Germany. Carrying the serpents' dinner back over to the school stables, the large groundskeeper noticed James Potter walking towards him in his house Quidditch robes and a slightly vacant expression across his face.
"Why 'ello there James," Hagrid greeted warmly upon seeing the young man, "What brings yeh out here all dressed up teh play Quidditch?"
James paused, taking a moment to glance around and sighed before tossing his broom to the ground dismissively
"Bugger… I came out on the wrong side of the castle without even noticing. I'll just have to fly around to the other side in a minute," James groaned before sitting cross-legged on the ground. "Good thing I ran into you Hagrid, or I imagine I'd have walked clear into the forest without a second thought."
"Can't really argue with yeh there, when yer look'n as lost in thought as yeh do right 'bout now," decided Hagrid as he approached the student. "Something troubl'n yeh?"
"Same stuff that's always troubling me, I suppose," James shrugged as he brought his knees closer to his chest, "I guess I'm just finding it more distracting that usual lately."
"And I reckon talk'n 'bout it won't do any good?" asked Hagrid as he stood over James.
"I really don't think so," James shook his head.
Feeling entirely too short in the presence of the gigantic man in his position on the earth beneath them, James stood so he wouldn't have to peer so far up at the groundskeeper.
"I think I just need to keep myself occupied and everything will see to sorting itself out," James decided.
"Not teh argue with yer logic there James, but I don't know if bury'n yer problems beneath a whole mess of things is the proper way teh go." Hagrid stroked his hand through his wild mess of a beard. "Sounds like a good way teh trip over something when yer least expecting teh."
James ran both his hands through his coarse black hair and closed his eyes for a moment in an effort to collect his distant thoughts.
"Maybe that's what I've done now… trip over long buried problems that have decided to resurface," James muttered mostly to himself, entranced with thought, "You know what the funny thing about it all is, Hagrid? I know that something's bothering me, causing me to feel completely isolated and empty but I don't know exactly what the source of it is. All I know is it's like this gaping whole that feels like it's getting bigger but it can't be filled no matter what I try so it's barely worth me bothering at all."
Hagrid appeared to be studying James carefully, his usually friendly black eyes expressing nothing but concern. Placing a big hand upon James's shoulder, Hagrid bowed slightly so he and James were seeing a bit more eye to eye.
At least in the literal sense.
"Yer a good lad, James, it bothers me more than I can say teh see yeh so down," Hagrid began gently. "I think ye need teh slow yerself up a bit and really do some think'n about what's burden'n yeh, yeh'll only burn yerself out otherwise. If yer still stuck on this, talk teh yer friends. I'd be will'n teh bet all the gold in Gringotts that any one of them, particularly that Sirius Black, would be more than willing teh lend an ear."
"I don't want to trouble them with… well, I don't even know what it is," said James. "Most of them are really content right now with girls or other things and the last thing I want is them all being worried on my account because I'm feeling down in the mouth."
"Well what are friends fer if not teh be there fer yeh in good times and bad!" Hagrid huffed before relaxing a bit, "Well, if yeh don't want teh bring it up teh them, I think yeh should talk teh the Headmaster. Not a man more wise than Albus Dumbledore, I've always said, nor a man more concerned about how his students are carry'n on."
"Thanks Hagrid, I appreciate the advice." James managed a weak smile for the groundskeeper's troubles. "I'll use it somehow, but right now I need to get myself over to Quidditch practice, seeing as I'm the one who called it."
"Alright," Hagrid relented, accepting that he had done all he could for James at the moment, "but if yeh feel like talk'n yeh just keep in mind what I said, otherwise feel free teh come out teh my hut anytime and talk it out with me. Or just fer a visit if yeh like."
"I will Hagrid," James promised, "I'll come along once I'm a bit more cheerful company. Take care."
Retrieving and mounting his broom, James kicked off from the ground and darted between the spires before he vanished behind the massive structure of Hogwarts castle altogether.
* * *
Ignoring the dirty looks of a few girls as he passed through the dormitory halls, Aaron Lestrange carried a makeshift binder of loose paper at his side while making his way to Mary. He managed to open the door to the 6th year girls' bedchambers just in time to hear a loud boom of noise and see Mary get thrown clean across the room from the site of it. Rushing to her side on the Oriental rug that did little to cushion her rough landing upon the dungeon floors, Aaron dropped the book and knelt by Mary while looking over from head to toe.
"Are you alright?" He demanded, near frantic.
"Fine," Mary hissed as she allowed Aaron to help her to her feet while smoothing out her now disheveled hair and clothes. It was evident that her pride had been wounded the most in her tumble.
"What happened?" Aaron turned his eyes around the room in search of something to blame for the attack on his love.
"Just trying to get Winifred's bloody diary open," Mary explained hotly as she walked back over to her desk, "Not that her insufferable ego would bother to make it at all easy on me."
"Maybe you should just toss the thing," Aaron recommended, "It's not worth getting your neck broken over."
Mary whirled around to stare at her boyfriend with evident distaste.
"Are you mad?" She questioned irritably, "I'm not about to pass up learning every dirty secret there is on Winifred just because there's a bit of a challenge to it. Next you'll be suggesting I give up on becoming Head Girl just because that mudblood Evans is so wonderfully brilliant."
"That's not at all what I'm implying," Aaron sighed, accepting the brunt of Mary's frustrations. "I just see no sense in getting yourself all worked up or possibly hurt on some book that passed into our hands."
"Well don't worry about me," Mary insisted, seating herself in her chair once more. "I wager I'm close to cracking the little harpy since she's getting so defensive. Past that I'll be just a few short passages away from learning everything about Winifred Wilkes that she'd have wished I hadn't."
Retrieving the book he brought in with him, Aaron took up a spot on the corner of Mary's desk to look at her.
"Aren't you concerned Wilkes will just walk in and find you fiddling with her diary?" asked Aaron.
"Not especially," Mary replied, picking up her wand. "She's been off with Black every spare hour doing that stupid project of Heilsing's. I hope she mentions something of it in here. I'd love to tell Severus to his smug face that Winifred's shagging Black."
"Well, here's hoping." Aaron crossed his fingers, causing Mary to smile a bit.
"So what brings you along this way?" Mary wondered.
"I need an excuse to see you now?" Aaron teased, as he leaned in to kiss Mary on her perfectly painted lips. They savored the gesture for a long moment before pulling apart.
"Not at all," Mary assured.
"I do have some news that might amuse you," Aaron reported with a harsh grin as he displayed the plain cover book to Mary. "Travers brought something to my attention a few days ago and helped me out on this little arts and crafts project for Potter. I think he'll appreciate it very much."
Consumed with a curious expression, Mary took the book from Aaron and examined it with interest. Her grin grew wider and crueler with each page she turned.
"Travers is making himself quite useful to us these days," Aaron grinned as well.
Mary shut the book and kissed Aaron again as she handed it back to him.
"Just when I think I couldn't possibly love you more, you go and do something like this," Mary cooed affectionately.
Aaron stroked his own cheek against Mary's in an affectionate nuzzle before standing up.
"As much as I'd relish basking in your approval of our little token here, I just wanted to show it to you before I sent it out from the Owlry," Aaron reluctantly admitted.
"That's all right, I'll show you how impressed I am with it later on," Mary promised with a wink. "You just make sure it gets to Potter. I'd hate for him to never see that."
"Crying shame, that." Aaron nodded as he started to show himself out.
"Oh Aaron, wait," Mary called after him as she held out a slip of parchment with writing on it from over the back of the chair. Aaron came over to retrieve the freshly scribed note.
"What's a gift without a heartfelt note from the sender?" Mary asked with a near-manic smile.
Aaron read Mary's tight and sharp writing and smiled with her, before kissing the top of her forehead.
"I'm grateful I have you to remind me of my manners," Aaron praised.
* * *
With only two weeks until Ravenclaw and Gryffindor were expected to face off in the final match of the season, both Houses were spending as much time as they could fit in on the pitch. As there was no sense in being anything but civil about the whole thing, the two teams agreed to alternate time as evenly and fairly as they could before the first week in May. Each had an hour to run drills in the morning before classes and an hour and a half after with twice that time on the weekend days.
Finished with their practice for the day, James and the rest of the Gryffindor team sat in the stands as they watched the Ravenclaws warm up in the air. Where the Slytherins may have made comments or suspicious accusations about the rival team's presence, the Ravenclaws said nothing to the Gryffindors as most trusted that neither James nor anyone on his team was attempting anything underhanded by being there.
Besides, the Ravenclaws often arrived a bit early and spent a few minutes watching the Gryffindor team so it was only fair.
Intending to meet up with Cassidy after her practice, Gwen and Bronwyn joined the other Gryffindors in the stands as they finished their panting and last minute strategizing. Tugging on one of James's sleeves as he spoke, Cassidy pointed out a Ravenclaw player on her broom.
"That's Ophelia Atropos," Cassidy stated, "their replacement Seeker."
"So she is," James nodded turning his eyes to the sky, "I wonder if she's any good."
"She'd better be," Hattie Sinclair, Gryffindor's own Seeker, interjected confidently.
"Well I don't know about Quidditch but she's always on the mark in Divination," Gwen commented. "I almost think she knows what she's talking about more than the actual professor."
"I'd believe it," Bronwyn added on, "I'm not in Divination but whenever someone in the house loses something she always knows where it is, and she knows other things about people that she couldn't possibly be aware of. Most people don't like that so they keep their distance from her, not that it's all that hard a task to manage to begin with. Ophelia pretty much always keeps to herself."
"I don't think I can remember having a conversation with her," Cassidy volunteered before turning to James, "Have ye ever spoken with her?"
"Once, and I can understand why people don't care to talk with her all that much," James answered, as he kept his eyes fixed on the shortly kempt blonde soaring about. "Still, I don't know if I think she's psychic."
"Trelawney seems to think she has the Sight," Gwen remarked stubbornly.
"Yeah, well James doesn't believe in destiny, let alone the ability to see it, right?" Cassidy clarified as she turned back to James.
"You're right, I don't," said James, "but does the Ravenclaw team? I mean, is that the reason they put her on as Seeker? Some superstition that she'll just be able to divine where the snitch will end up and catch it?"
"Well I hope NOT because I CAN'T do THAT!" Sinclair moaned at the thought, inspiring Mundungus Fletcher to pat her sympathetically on the shoulder.
"Don't bother with that inner eye nonsense, just use the two in your head," James instructed firmly. "As far as I'm concerned, the Ravenclaws have pretty much cost themselves the match against us if the most they have up their sleeves with this gambit is depending on lucky guesswork. No offense, Weaver."
Bronwyn shrugged the comment about her house off, since she didn't really have a thing to do with the Quidditch team let alone who they decided to put on it. Still, she decided to question James on it.
"Not that I necessarily disagree with you, but why don't you believe in divination?" asked Bronwyn, her shoulder length brown hair was pulled back by a strong breeze along with everyone else's. "I mean, I'm a muggle-born so I can still be a little too practical about things I can't see with my own two eyes, but I've found most Wizarding families tend to put a some faith in fortune-telling."
"I just think that if there was such a thing as people being able to see the future, then we could have avoided a lot of horrible things that are deeply rooted in all our pasts," James reported dryly, "and I can assure you that my bloodline has no use for divination as it continues and ends with me now."
"Err . . . I think it would be a good time teh call it a day since we're all worn teh the bone from practice and lessons," Cassidy announced, eyeing James as though he was whom she was specifically referring to.
James didn't bother to protest this.
As the Gryffindors and their Ravenclaw guest rose to their feet, they paused as two barn owls joined them with a package being carried between them. Dropping it off with James, the pair of birds flew off back towards the school, avoiding the busy air traffic over the pitch. The Gryffindor team gathered around curiously as James liberated his newly acquired gift from its brown wrapping and revealed what seemed to be a note and sections of parchment bound between two covers.
James inspected the note briefly, raising an eyebrow behind his glasses before crumpling it up. Opening the makeshift book, James scanned and flipped through the pages for barely a few seconds before he slammed the book shut with an ashen expression. He was shaking, either from fear or anger, no one else present could be sure. James grabbed his broom and stormed off towards the stairs. A few of his teammates called or chased after their captain in an effort to discover what was wrong.
Knowing James well enough to realize that any efforts to get him talking would be futile ones, Cassidy turned to Gwen and Bronwyn who had remained behind with her.
"Did either of ye see what was in the book?" Cassidy probed.
"Not really." Gwen shook her head.
"It just looked like a bunch of newspapers to me," Bronwyn sighed.
Releasing her own audible puff of breath, Cassidy stooped down to retrieve the note James had crumple and pulled it open at the corners.
"What the hell - " Cassidy muttered as she scanned the print before passing it over into Bronwyn and Gwen's hands.
~
Happy Four Year Anniversary
Fondly,
A. Lestrange & M. Tudor
~
"What does this even mean?" Bronwyn knitted her brow over the message.
"Well, Lestrange and Tudor have been seeing one another for about four years haven't they?" Gwen glanced between the taller girls.
"I don't think that's what they meant; it wouldn't make much sense," Bronwyn mused aloud.
"Lestrange and Tudor don't have teh make sense teh be cruel," Cassidy growled. "Whatever they did really got teh James and I'm not going teh stand fer it."
With that, Cassidy grabbed her own broom and stormed towards the stairs leading down from the bleachers with Gwen and Bronwyn just a step behind.
"Cassidy, don't to anything too rash," Bronwyn advised nervously. "I know you mean well and all but I don't think James would want you getting in trouble on his behalf even if it's for dealing with some bottom-feeders like Lestrange and Tudor."
"Right! They're not worth it," Gwen pleaded, knowing Cassidy's moods all too well.
"No, they aren't," Cassidy agreed hotly as she took the stairs two at a time. "Doesn't mean they're not gonna get more than they deserve."
* * *
* * * * * *
* * *
Miserable
By: LIT
* * *
You make me come
You make me complete
You make me completely miserable
Stuck to a chair
Watchin' this story about me
Everything goes by so fast
Making my head spin
Used up all my friends
But who needs them
When you mean everything
Well I love things that we should fear
And I'm not afraid of being here
So much the same
It makes me helpless alone
Nothing to share
Why should I
Care if you're near me
Give up all my plans
But who needs them
When you mean everything
I love the things that we should fear
And I'm not afraid of being here
So much the same
It makes me helpless alone
You make me come
You make me complete
You make me completely miserable
Well I love the things that we should fear
And I'm not afraid of being here
So much the same
It makes me helpless alone
You make me come
You make me complete
You make me completely miserable