* * *
~ First Signs of Land ~
By: Oy! Angelina
* * *
November was bright and crisp at Hogwarts and everything seemed to fade into the background, as the first Quidditch game of the season was only a few days away. Making peace with their respective problems, both James and Lily were in higher spirits now that they had each come to the conclusion that they were in control of their own lives.
Lily had approached Sirius, explaining that, for reasons not entirely specified, she wasn't looking for more than a friendship at the moment. Disappointed but by no means daunted, Sirius respected Lily's wishes though made it clear that he had no intention of abandoning his hopes for them altogether. As he never wandered from the boundaries she had established, Lily and Sirius remained on exceedingly good terms and were seen often in one another's company. Having come to their arrangement earlier on, James and Arabella were spending time together but only in a casual manner that none could definitively say was beyond friendship. It was obvious that Arabella was still looking for something more to develop between them but had managed to tone down most her interactions with James to nothing more than flirting.
Back to their usual antics, the Marauders made it a point of order to prank Slytherins to make sure their rival House would be good and riled for their upcoming match. Lily Evans was less than thrilled with this behavior as it meant she was often left apologizing to Severus Snape for the actions of her fellow Gryffindors. Amazingly enough, Snape was still willing to speak with Lily (although he would often point out her lack of control as their Prefect). Things came to a head when the Marauders had spent an entire afternoon gathering garter snakes only to enchant them with Gryffindor House colors and set them loose in the Slytherin common room.
It required Peter and Remus to pull Lily off of Sirius and James for having to deal with Snape after the mongoose used to round up the snakes had mauled his leg. After fits of hysterical laughter at the image of this, they agreed to let up on the Slytherins for her sake.
Still, this passed for normal amongst the Gryffindors and, by the end of the day; they could still say they were friends.
* * *
On the morning of the Quidditch match, James received an Owl at breakfast. James was more than curious by this since he had no family to write to him and virtually everyone else he knew either taught at or attended Hogwarts along with him. The stationary was that of the Ministry of Magic and James frantically sought his brain for what he might have done recently that could have earned the ire of the magical bureaucracy. Once through the envelope, James saw the letter was from Frank Longbottom and sighed in relief.
Longbottom was a well-respected Auror within the Ministry whose family line was incredibly popular amongst wizarding kind. As many Potters tended to be, James's parent had been Aurors as well and worked closely with Frank Longbottom who wasn't even ten years older than their own son. James's parents had died not long after Frank had joined the ministry and, out of fondness for his parents' memories, Frank and his recently married wife took it upon themselves to keep an eye on James until he was old enough to manage his own affairs. They were far from alone in this responsibility as other Wizards associated with the ministry, such as the Bones family and the great Albus Dumbledor himself, made sure that James Potter would grow to become the respectable person his parents had envisioned, in spite of their premature departure from his life.
* * *
Dear James;
The holidays are steadily approaching and myself and Misses see little sense in you staying alone at your parents home if it can be helped. If you're not interested in spending the break at Hogwarts, we'd be more than happy to take you on for a stay! If you have plans though, I trust you'll have more than an interesting time. I know I did on the few occasions I stayed over on holiday. Back in the day, eh? Regardless of where you decide to stay, you'll be in ample supply of some of our plum cakes, whose recipe has been in the family since Ollivanders started making wands!
Things going well at Hogwarts I trust? Must be keeping yourself occupied with Quidditch and your lessons, not to mention whatever plots you and your friends are cooking up for the Slytherin. Incidentally, be sure to prank them once for me! Be sure to write us about what's going on in your life so I can pass it along to those who are interested in how you're getting along.
Looking forward to your reply!
Mr. and Mrs. Frank Longbottom
p.s. If you have a lady friend you'd care to invite, don't even consider it to be an imposition!
* * *
James smiled at this. He suspected Frank figured he should start prying and meddling as his parents undoubtedly would be if they were still around. Doubting that he would have enough time to compose a decent letter and eat breakfast before his match, James decided he would respond to the Longbottoms later that evening or the next morning.
Folding the letter into his Quidditch robes, James was joined the rest of his team to warm up on the pitch.
* * *
Still in the Gryffindor dormitories, Remus and Sirius were busy adjusting their robes and scarves so they would be properly supporting their House at the match that afternoon. After the third time of bellowing for Peter to join them, the two other Marauders decided to investigate what was detaining their friend. Crouched over his cauldron with a wand in hand, Peter was completely transfixed with some loose sections of parchment clutched in hand.
"What have you made here, Wormtail?" Remus peered into the brew and twitched his nose at the pungent odor wafting out.
"Dunno for sure." Peter admitted as he flipped through his notes. "I was attempting to churn up something special for after the match. Best I can figure it's either alcohol or a stupefying potion."
"You say that like there's a difference." Sirius smirked as he knelt next to Peter.
"Only in the sense of whether the effects are gradual or instantaneous." Peter mumbled as he passed the parchments over to Sirius. Taking the notes from his friend's pudgy hands, Sirius poked at some of the ingredients while studying the directions implied.
"I think you've got about the right idea here." Sirius nodded approvingly as he rose, patting Peter on the back. "I'll help you finish it out once we get back, but we have to go."
"Thanks." Peter breathed appreciatively as he joined Remus and Sirius on their feet.
"Best not let anyone find that." Remus frowned. "I don't feel like explaining a bunch of staggering 1st Years playing 'Spark in the Dark' to McGonagall later on."
"Bah, we'll just offer her up a drink if that happens." Sirius chuckled. Remus just shook his head with a smile as they shut the door behind them and went to meet up with the other Gryffindors in the common room.
* * *
As the House Prefect, Lily Evans led her fellow Gryffindors out to the Quidditch pitch. Everyone was excited, in particular the 1st Years as many were seeing their first game of Quidditch for the first time. Lily remembered what it was like for her way back when. Having come from a Muggle family, Lily had been still reeling from all the wonders of the Wizarding world in general but to see something like Quidditch; well, all the descriptions in the world from her Wizard-born friends couldn't have prepared her for it.
Passing by the Slytherins, insults were traded between Houses as a traditional part of the pre-match fun. Lily spied Snape leading the front of his House. He noticed her but they shared only a swift, acknowledging nod of their heads before splintering off to take their respective places amongst the stands. If they didn't have their entire Houses behind them, Lily guessed they might have said something to one another; however, it would be a little unorthodox as things were now. Still, Lily predicted that if the Slytherin won, it would be days before Snape bothered to stop pointing the triumph out while a Gryffindor victory would probably mean days before he got around to speaking to her again.
Lily took a seat on a bench between Sirius and Remus, looking expectantly on at the field.
"Big fan of Quidditch, Lily?" Sirius asked as she surveyed the pulsating stands.
"Not nearly as much as Arabella seems to be." Lily smiled, Arabella was so excited keeping her seated for more than a few moments was near impossible. She calmed only slightly after stampeding Peter's foot.
She glanced between Remus, Peter, and Sirius.
"So how come none of you went out for Quidditch with James?" Lily inquired as all shared a lust for excitement and both Remus and Sirius appeared to be in better than average shape.
"Well, I'm often too under the weather to be able to handle the practices and there are some days of the month that I'm no good at all." Remus explained.
"I tried out with James, but he won the spot over me because he was a daft bastard with no regard for personal safety. You know, the qualities the sport prides itself on." Sirius reminisced with a sarcastic grin. "And I'm pleased to say that it, in no way, affected the relationship I have with that backstabbing bloody wanker."
"I was something of a klutz when I attempted, eliminated long before Sirius." Peter shrugged.
"Come now, Peter. Anyone could have mistaken a bludger for a quaffle." Remus patted his friend on the back.
"The IMPORTANT thing was the Seeker was there to break your fall." Sirius nodded, before him and Remus struggled to stifle their laughter. Peter shot them a look so harsh Lily thought it should be included in a Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson plan.
"Oh I NEVER get tired of hearing you two tell that story." Peter glared as Sirius and Remus decided to just break down into hysterics.
"Good thing we never get tired of telling it!" Sirius gasped.
"You know what story I never get tired of TELLING?" Peter smirked. "The one where you uncovered that nasty enlargement spell that horribly backfired when you attempted to specialize it for -"
Remus and Sirius leapt on Peter, attempting to strangle him with his own Gryffindor scarf.
"What have we told you about mixing potions in poorly ventilated areas?" Sirius shot Arabella and Lily a forced grin. "POINT MADE PETER!!!"
Collapsing into themselves through fits of laughter, Arabella and Lily grinned at one another while shaking their heads. A similar account had occurred with some girls in their own dormitory but they had long since agreed to omit the details of that event.
"You and I NEED to have a luncheon sometime, Peter." Lily chuckled as the boys readjusted themselves into their seats, playfully shoving one another.
"GOOD AFTERNOON HOGWARTS! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY FOR THE OPENING QUIDDITCH MATCH BETWEEN LONGTIME RIVALS: GRYFFINDOR AND SLYTHERIN, WHO WILL BE ASCENDING THE PITCH MOMENTARILY!" The announcer's voice vibrated throughout the pitch. Riled and ready, the Gryffindors and Slytherin were already on their feet cheering in support of their House teams.
* * *
As the Gryffindor Quidditch team headed toward the pitch, the members exchanged nervous, but broad grins. As Captain, it fell on James Potter to always pull his teammates together with some parting sentiments.
"Alright, everyone knows straight out who's the better players heading out there. When you're eye isn't on a quaffle, bludger, or snitch respectively, it had better be on a Slytherin." James encouraged.
"Same to you, Captain, or you'll be having those pretty faces visiting you in the hospital wing!" Welsh, a team beater, quipped at James's latest reputation around school. James smirked.
"I'd break your arm for that if I didn't need you to wield that bat out there!" James assured before refocusing the team. Slytherin was always a tough rabble to contend with and were notorious for their dirty ploys. "Remember, expect the Slytherins to cheat because that's the only way they can hope to win against us. You give the Slytherins hell, Gryffindors, when you're giving Hogwarts a show!"
With that, the seven members of the Gryffindor House team mounted their brooms and flew in formation for their opening lap around the pitch.
* * *
The school erupted into applauds, whistles, and cheers as the Slytherin Gryffindor teams circled the pitch.
"Look! There's James!" Arabella squealed as she pointed him out in the lead of their House players. "He's positively IRRESISTABLE in those Quidditch robes of his!" Lily's eyes followed James on his broom.
"Damn those uniforms." Peter sulked. "Unfair advantage is what it is."
"So we're on for pummeling James and stealing his robes then?" Remus smirked while leaning over to Sirius. Sirius laughed as Arabella joined in.
"Bloody hell, if you're up to that I get to be the one who does the stripping!" Arabella insisted with a wicked grin. The boys were in fits of laughter at this while Lily couldn't contain a smile. Their eyes all turned to the pitch as the match was about underway.
"MADAM HOOCH TAKES THE FIELD. THE QUAFFLE IS RELEASED AND -"
* * *
No sooner had the Gryffindors arrived in their common room had a party started up in honor of their Qudditch victory. Professor McGonagall conjured some refreshments for the her House to feast on while some of the older students saw to creating decorations to make it all officially feel like a bash.
Everyone was talking, laughing, and all around enjoying themselves for the moment, not worrying about what exams they were expecting or how many feet of parchment soon to be due. McGonagall relived the game with the entire Quidditch team at one point or another, who neglected to change out of their robes to commemorate the evening. In between Peter and Sirius frequent disappearances to their dormitories for some undisclosed reason, the Marauders were providing colorful slants of the events that had taken place with Arabella joining in on occasion.
Lily, for the most part, felt as though she had the evening off as well since everyone seemed to be behaving themselves. A little later on, Lily found herself discussing some school politics with Professor McGonagall while the remaining Gryffindors were heard laughing and chatting over the music in the background. Eventually checking her pocket watch, Professor McGonagall sighed at the time.
"Pity I must retire from the celebration so early on." McGonagall shook her head at Lily. "However it's doubtful my Lessons for next week will be preparing themselves."
Lily rose with the Head of her House to bid her farewell for the evening.
"Shall I see to wrapping things up then?" Lily asked.
"Oh, goodness no! It's barely past eight. I see no reason to ruin everyone else's evening simply because I will no longer be present." McGonagall allowed a shallow smile to pass her lips. "I trust you'll be able to keep a handle on things, Miss Evans, and be sure that the party comes to an end around a respectable hour?" Professor McGonagall's eyes pierced at Lily from over her glasses. Lily put forth her most trustworthy appearing demeanor.
"Not to worry, Professor McGonagall." Lily assured.
"Very well then." McGonagall nodded approvingly before addressing the remainder of the House. "And to you, Gryffindors, congratulations and mind your Prefect."
After McGonagall had clearly departed through the Fat Lady Portrait, the Gryffindors felt as though the party was truly ready to begin.
* * *
At the peek of Gryffindor tower was a vacant attic with a panel of the cone shaped ceiling removed for students in the House to work on Astronomy homework when the regular tower was unavailable. Although most of the time it was used for deeds most ladies wouldn't ask about and most gentlemen wouldn't repeat. James Potter sat in the center of the empty floor, with a parchment, bottle of ink, and eagle feather quill as company. The clear night provided more than enough light for him. He was debating his return letter to Frank Longbottom, when he heard the door creak open and Remus Lupin step in.
"You could be doing that in our room." Remus gestured to the stationary supplies.
"No, I can't." James corrected. "Not with Peter and Sirius constantly coming up to me saying: 'Taste this and tell us if you go blind.'"
"Ah, so they're still at their bootlegging hmm?" Remus observed as he glanced around the empty room. "Traditionally, this is no place for a man to be alone." James raised an eyebrow to this innuendo.
"Yeah, well now that you're here I'm sure a fresh batch of deviant rumors concerning my sex life will come into circulation." James muttered as he tapped the feather of his quill against his chin. Remus settled next to James and passed him an unopened butterbeer.
"You know, most men would kill for the suave reputation you have going for you." Remus informed. "Sirius and I are trying to get one going for Peter, but he doesn't help matters much when half the school suspects he attends Yule Balls with his cousin." James laughed, feeling slightly better.
"As flattering as it all may be, it's not my niche in our group." James sighed. "I feel like I'm stealing Sirius's thunder. He's the dashing one, you're the mysterious one, Peter's the dependable one, and I'm the prat."
"Nah, you're our fearless leader." Remus assured with a sip of his drink. "And, though it doesn't always speak well for the rest of us, you're also the brightest. Which is why I can't figure out why you're being such a git lately."
James glanced over to Remus before running his fingers through his already indomitable hair with a sigh.
"Neither can I." James admitted.
"You ready to talk about it?" Remus asked interestedly.
"Yes, just not at the moment." James agreed. "It's technically my night and all. Don't want to muck it all up with getting depressed now do we?"
Remus nodded as he looked up at the moon that was nearly full.
"Tomorrow we have to head out to the Shrieking Shack you know." Remus reminded. Remus was already feeling the ill effects of his condition and loathed how worse they would become in twenty-four hours time. If not for the presence of his friends on those dreaded nights, Moony was certain he'd be nowhere near as sane as he had managed to remain.
"Yes." James recalled. "We'll just persuade Padfoot and Wormtail to make a side trip to Honeydukes while I go with you to the Shack. You and I will have a nice long opportunity to reflect on what I wanker I've been. Maybe you'll even be able to see me better through it."
"I think the best I can do for you, Prongs, is simply let you unburden yourself." Remus admitted. "Any advice I give will probably be of the obvious variety."
"I figured as much, but I still think you have a point regardless." James shrugged. "I really need someone to talk to. I can't yet with Sirius because I feel I owe him an explanation that's better than the one I have so far and Peter would mean well but is a little awkward at this sort of thing."
Remus pulled himself to his feet, evidently preparing to leave James.
"Well, when you're ready, I'll listen and I won't judge you, old friend." Remus assured. "But you should know that I think you're worrying about the wrong thing, James. If I was in Sirius's position, I'd be more upset that you didn't think you could confide to me rather than happening to have the same taste in women."
Damn Moony and his insights.
"If you're done ruining my evening . . ." James gestured to the door with a small grin. Remus bowed away apologetically and headed for the door.
"I'll see you down in a bit then." Remus bid farewell as he shut the door. James sighed and turned back to his letter. All he had scribed so far was the heading as everything else concerning his life seemed to be caught in such a tempest that James didn't know where to begin or if what he wrote would even be true. He had been so busy hiding truths and crafting lies as of late who knows what he'd produce?
"I need something sincere, something honest to tie this all together." James decided.
Now all he needed to do was figure out what it could be.
* * *
Extinguishing the flame underneath his cauldron, Peter glanced to Sirius as he poured the contents into a large bottle.
"You reckon we pulled it off?" Sirius asked optimistically.
"Well, if not, I'm sure there's an open market for potions that cause projectile vomit." Peter shrugged as he corked the bottle. Remus joined them in the room while Sirius beamed at him.
"I very much doubt this is how all our parents envisioned our education at Hogwarts." Remus shook his head.
"Moony! Just in time for the taste test!" Sirius waved him over.
"I'll thank you kindly to keep your piss water away from me." Remus requested, he didn't dare provoke the beast within by relieving his inhibitions in the least. "You two should know I have little use for anything claiming to put hair on me."
"But this will put some on your ton-gue!" Peter tempted as he swished the bottle. Remus just laughed and shook his head again.
"NO thank you." Remus ended the conversation. "I only came in here to pull off my sweater then I'll be rejoining the party."
"Then where's our Guinea Prongs?" Sirius demanded.
"Leave him be." Remus ordered with a swift point in their direction. "He's off writing a letter."
"Alright, fine." Sirius relented.
"We could probably find someone downstairs to take a swig." Peter said helpfully, to which Sirius nodded.
"Of course we'll need to device a means to distract our perfect Prefect." Sirius said thoughtfully. "This will demand all our cunning . . ."
"Well I think I'll leave you two Headboys to work that one out . . ." Remus rolled his eyes as he left the bedroom.
* * *
Lily hadn't seen any of the four Marauders in about ten minutes and had started to grow suspicious, when Remus Lupin came down. Lily made a beeline for the tall boy and he smiled as she approached.
"Prefect." He said respectfully with a tight lipped grin.
"Where are your partners in crime?" Lily smiled sweetly.
"Up to very bad things, I trust." Remus offered a broad one of his own, showing off his slightly elongated incisors.
"Are you going to tell me or do I have to seek them out?" Lily questioned nicely. Figuring he wouldn't be able to bluff Lily all that effectively, Remus decided to play with the truth.
"Well, Sirius and Peter are working on something to make them more desirable to women and will be down shortly to test that out." Which was a half-truth at worst.
"And James, well, I believe he went up to the roof alone. Suspicious look to that boy as he was working on a parchment." Which was a fair assumption. Lily patted Remus on the arm appreciatively.
"Keep an eye on things a bit for me?" Lily requested. "I'm just going to make sure James isn't fashioning some make-shift hell to introduce into my life. Tell Sirius and Peter happy hunting for me, hm?"
"Not a problem, Lily." Remus nodded as he inserted himself into the bash. Lily made her way up the dormitory stairs and disappeared. A few minutes later, Peter and Sirius rejoined the party and were casting their gazes around deliberately.
"What happened to Lily?" Sirius observed.
"I've arranged for her to go off and make wild accusation at James for a bit." Remus assured. "I reckon they'll exchange a few words before she realizes the most damnable thing in that attic is writer's block."
"Looks like we won't get to have our go at it then!" Peter snapped his fingers in frustration.
"Yes, I'm sure it was brilliant." Remus once again rolled his eyes. "Just never mind her and get to your corrupting if you're still planning on it."
Without need for further invitation, Sirius and Peter were off. Satisfied with himself, Remus marveled at how he had managed to help all three his closest friends in a few short minutes.
* * *
James was still stuck on his words when he heard the attic door creak open once more. He turned to tell which ever of the Marauders he expected to see to leave him in peace, but found Lily Evans instead. Closing the door behind her, Lily approached James with an amused expression.
"Alright, what do we have here?" Lily faked a suspicious voice. "Outlining some sort of prank?"
James smiled self-consciously.
"Just hiding out for a bit." James confessed. "I'm trying to commit myself to writing a letter but I'm not really getting anywhere."
"Oh." Lily figured that was plausible enough since she had seen him receive an Owl. "I guess I'll just let you . . ."
"No stay!" James insisted. "It was starting to frustrate me anyway. I need the distraction."
"Well alright then." Lily replied cautiously as she took a seat near James of the floor. She stretched her legs in front of her, leaning on her hands. She recalled a comment Arabella had made at the Quidditch match and determined there was some truth to her friend's statement.
James did look very handsome in his Quidditch robes.
"So whom are you writing the letter to?"
"Umm . . . my guardians, of sort." James said. "Just want to see how I'm doing is all."
Lily had forgotten that James was orphaned. He carried himself so carefree about Hogwarts all the time that it was hard to recall what his life must be like outside the castle walls. Lily couldn't help but wonder what the mind of James Potter was like when he wasn't plotting against the Slytherin, defying school rules, or diligently studying his lessons. She imagined there was a sadness she wouldn't be able to appreciate and a loneliness she has never known
"You family, they were mostly Aurors weren't they?" Lily asked carefully. She was hoping this wasn't too sensitive of a topic for James to pursue. "Such a noble and brave profession to go into."
"Sort of a Potter tradition." James stated with a quiet smile. "Brash and convicted, I share blood with a line full of people who weren't all that accustomed to sitting about and hoping things will turn out fine in the end."
"You know what I heard once when someone had mentioned for family?" Lily breathed in the fresh night air. "A girl who had been fond of you back in our 2nd Year told me 'if the world were a storybook, every last Potter would be a Prince adventuring about until they was done saving the day and off to live happily ever after.' But I don't think that's right."
"Oh?" James had a questioning sort of grin.
"When I thought of you, I told that girl if the world was a storybook, you'd insist on being the writer." Lily continued. James laughed a little. "That way, your cunning and your style would fashion something memorable. I said I didn't think it mattered to a Potter if the hero was always happy or safe, so long as the ending was for the best. From what I heard, it does your name little justice to say the most a Potter has to offer is pride and bravery. Not when there is integrity, selflessness, and morality to choose from."
James was touched by this as no words could describe. He had spent every quiet hour of his past few years wondering if all his family had sacrificed had been unnecessary. If there had ever been a point to a Potter facing some unmentionable evil, to fight some futile fight, and die as a reward for their valor. Of all the expressions ever offered to him, in times of remembrance and times of consoling, no one had ever selected such a simple string of words that had made James find a little peace with the loss of his kin.
James fought back the tears threatening his eyes. He couldn't risk scaring off Lily, not when they were finally building a rapport.
"So, what tradition do you have to uphold in your family?" James asked quietly, glancing at Lily.
"None really. I'm something of a pioneer." Lily grinned. "First Evans to be a witch, you know. I almost wish I had a few footsteps to follow in. I feel as though I could use a sense of direction."
James shook his head at this.
"The thing to understand about wizarding families, Lily, is that they all run back to that one person who started them and that's the standard." James explained. "The choices that person makes, the life they choose to lead will be what guides every last drop of blood that flows through their descendents' veins."
"So no pressure, huh?" Lily groaned, causing James to laugh.
"You're not getting it, Lily." James informed. "You are the first and only of your kind. You will never have a shadow to try and escape from underneath, no sins of the blood to repeat or pay. Every step, every wave of your wand is a first that will fashion to mold all following you will be cast from: one of brilliance, resolve, talent, beauty, and compassion. I assure you Lily, most wizarding lineages would be luck lay claim to but a single of those qualities and you'll be the progenitor of one blessed with all of them. That much, I can be certain of."
Lily was completely taken aback. Always feeling as though she would never be comfortably in her own skin, Lily was constantly conflicted with the fear she would always be too much of a witch to ever go back to the Muggle's world and too long a Muggle to ever grasp the world of a Wizard. Striving with an unrelenting thirst to prove herself to everyone, Lily had made sure the bar was always out of reach so she would be forced to attempt even more with each leap she took.
All the praise of her professors, her peers, and even her pride had never offered the respect and sincerity James had just offered and she didn't think he would ever know that.
"So," Lily broke the silence. "You're suggesting I keep my name when I marry?"
"Wouldn't go that far." James made an exaggerated disgusted face for effect.
"Oh, I can be a progenitor but not a surname!" Lily tried to be offended.
"I'm just saying it makes it harder for poor blokes like me looking to carry on the family name if we have all these women looking to start their own." James reasoned with a laugh Lily could share.
Lily looked at James more fondly than she probably ever had before.
"You know, this isn't the gallant, overconfident James Potter all the Gryffindor have come to know." Lily observed as she started to hug her knees. "What would everyone say if they saw their House Quidditch Captain had a side to him that was sensitive and vulnerable?"
James blushed at this a little before he started to run his hand through his hair.
"Yeah, I know, this really isn't me…" James stated apologetically but Lily just started to shake her head.
"Oh no, it is." Lily assured grin. "I just think THIS is more you than that prat you pass yourself off as."
"I've been working at that." James said sheepishly.
"I've noticed." Lily nodded. A silence hung between them as both Lily and James looked away from one another.
They wondered what happened next.
* * *
Courtesy of whatever the hell it was Sirius and Peter had managed to brew, half of the Gryffindors were completely drunk. Having a slight amount of decency between them, Sirius and Peter decreed that no one under 5th Year would be allowed to take a drink of the exceptionally potent liquor they had concocted. Sitting on a couch off to the side, Reums mused over the inebriated antics of his housemates. After having her fill of dancing, Arabella sank down next to Remus panting slightly.
"Why aren't you dancing?" Arabella demanded with a grin as she rested her head on Remus's shoulder.
"Because I don't have a curvy figure to compensate for my utter lack of rhythm." Remus rationalized.
"Okay, why aren't you drinking?" Arabelle asked.
"I've just got a dark side to keep at bay, love." Remus tried to sound cooler than he actually felt and figured Arabella wasn't really buying into it.
"You're not very fun." Arabella observed with a giggle.
"Well, you're not very sober so I won't take it to heart." Remus grinned as Arabella fell into fits of obnoxious laughter. Remus decided that she was more than amusing to watch like this.
"You know who IS fun?" Arabella slurred.
"James." Remus guessed under his breath.
"JAMES!" Arabella declared. "I bet HE'D dance with me! Maybe even go for a snog, hm?"
"Hmm, I don't think you should count your dragons before they've hatched, Arabella." Remus sighed gently. He felt horrible that Arabella fancied James as much as she did. For his part, Remus had been careful not to outright encourage Arabella's pursuit of James but there was little he could say aside from that which wouldn't betray the confidence of his friend. It was true that James hadn't been trying to lead her on, but his lack of decisiveness with Lily provided a false hope whether he meant to or not.
"I think I'm going to go find James." Arabella announced as she staggered to her feet and came close to tipping over. Remus leapt after her, grabbing a hold of the girl to steady her. Arabella looked as though she had suddenly just been struck horribly ill.
"I think we'll be finding you a bathroom." Remus groaned as he threw his arms around Arabella and started to lead her toward the stairs.
They passed by Sirius who was trying his damnedest to do a handstand at the moment for the benefit of some of his housemates. Kicking Sirius hard enough in the torso to cause him to crash into the ground pathetically sprawled about, Sirius laid there laughing as he looked over to Remus.
"Hey, I almost had it there!" Sirius protested indignantly as the other Gryffindors were in hysterics.
"After I'm done spending half the night holding Arabella's hair, I'm coming down here and beating your and Peter's asses." Remus informed curtly as he helped Arabella up the stairs. Remus could only pray things didn't get too out of hand while both he and Lily were gone and sighed at how cross their Prefect would be once she rejoined the party.
* * *
Sitting alone in the Gryffindor attic, Lily was the first to glance back as James. Forearm rested over a knee, James stared into the vast mosaic of stars with a soft blue light looking back. He hand ran through the length of his hair, something Lily had picked up was a nervous twitch. Absorbed in whatever thoughts he was entertaining, James expression reminded Lily of someone lost to some stretch of ocean who was always keeping his eyes open for the first sign of land. It was then she saw James Potter for the first time along with everything he struggled to keep hold of and everything he tried to keep at bay.
As James brought his wand hand down from his head, Lily took it into her own.
It was his expression that changed first. Eyes wide, but not looking at her. Lily found her analogy of the sea to be even more true as James appeared to have just seen whatever it was he had been long searching for. It was with a blink he turned back to her and Lily saw something in James's eyes that she had never seen before and wasn't sure she'd ever see again.
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Caught in a waking dream, James felt himself gently squeeze Lily's hand and realized he had never seen her look more beautiful to him than at that moment. She wasn't gliding down a corridor like the embodiment of grace or laughing with every last strand of her coppery hair flowing harmoniously about or even regal and brilliant as she preformed perfectly in a lesson.
In fact, Lily had never looked more insecure, vulnerable, or disoriented as she did just then.
Figuring he wasn't in a much better state himself, James started to act in the only way he could think to, the only way he wanted to. Pulling her hand slightly towards him, James forced Lily to lean in slightly and he moved to meet her part way. Raising his other hand to the side of her face, James guided Lily closer to his own, never once seeing a hint of hesitation or resistance flicker over her transfixed expression. And once Lily's beautiful green eyes slowly feel shut, James closed his own and met her lips with his.
Her mouth opened with either a gasp or a sigh and James took this as an invitation to deepen the kiss. Although this was not his first kiss, it was hard to remember what they could have been like before it. The only thing James could say for certain was that he knew the rapture and contentment he was experiencing with Lily Evans had never been apart of all the ones before. And for possibly the simplest form of physical intimacy two people could share, James had never felt anything more gratifying in all his life.
Still holding her with both his hands, James realized the thing that would be most important about this kiss in whatever would come after it was not that he had been the first to kiss her.
But that she had kissed him back.
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Wow, it felt good to finally write that scene ~_~. I think we've all been wondering when these kids were going to get around to it, huh? For those of you worried that this is the beginning of the end for Pensieve, let's just say that my math doesn't even have us at a third of the way done.
What to expect without me saying too much you ask? Well, I'll just say it's going to get harder and harder for everyone to keep playing dumb.
Thank you as always to those who read and review. I REALLY want to know what you thought of this chapter since I want to make sure I excel at writing angst but such when it comes to romance (god help me when it comes time for action and adventure eh?)
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Possession
By: Sarah Mclachlan
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Listen as the wind blows from across the great dividevoices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in timethe night is my companion, and solitude my guidewould I spend forever here and not be satisfied? and I would be the oneto hold you downkiss you so hardI'll take your breath awayand after, I'd wipe away the tearsjust close your eyes dear Through this world I've stumbledso many times betrayedtrying to find an honest word to findthe truth enslavedoh you speak to me in riddlesand you speak to me in rhymesmy body aches to breathe your breathyour words keep me alive And I would be the oneto hold you downkiss you so hardI'll take your breath awayand after, I'd wipe away the tearsjust close your eyes dear Into this night I wanderit's morning that I dreadanother day of knowing ofthe path I fear to treadoh into the sea of waking dreamsI follow without pridenothing stands between us hereand I won't be denied and I would be the oneto hold you downkiss you so hardI'll take your breath awayand after, I'd wipe away the tearsjust close your eyes...