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Pensieve by Oy! Angelina
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Pensieve

Oy! Angelina

Usual Disclaimer: All the characters (well almost all of them) are property of J.K. Rowling and I'm merely borrowing her brilliance and her world with no claim to it at all. I'd like to thank the Harry Potter Lexicon in particular since they're help in filling in the holes of Ms. Rowling's world has been invaluable to making this story as authentic as possible. Please look them up sometime.

As for why I chose to focus on the Lily and James era of things? Well the characters aren't so deeply established (for the most part) that I have to worry about stepping over Ms. Rowling's toes and perverting her thoughtful creations beyond necessity. I hope you enjoy and reviews are always appreciated.

* * *

~ Spark in the Dark ~

By: Oy! Angelina

* * *

In the 6th Year Gryffindor boys' dormitory, James Potter's eyes kept drifting over to his trunk where he kept his invisibility cloak hidden. He and Remus Lupin watched Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew play a BRILLIANT game one of the two had invented which revolved mostly around them flicking sparks at one another from their wands to see who flinched first.

James guessed Sirius was winning because he still had both his eyebrows.

As it approached 11 o'clock and no one appeared to be going to bed anytime soon, James knew he would have to get out of the room quicky if he was going to do anything to Lily Evans before the morning. Casually he walked over to his trunk and pulled out his cloak.

"Thought we were staying in tonight?" Remus observed. James nodded.

"We are, I'm just a bit peckish." James lied. "I'm going to sneak into the kitchen and see if I can't pinch some sweets. Want anything?"

The three other Marauders put in their requests as James adjusted his cloak so he was completely invisible.

"How do I look?" James asked sarcastically.

"It's an improvement I think." Peter said. That distraction cost him as he was frantically patting his chin a moment later from where some stubble had caught fire.

"Damn you, Sirius!" Peter growled. "Took me all bloody summer to grow that out!"

"I've seen food on the floor with more hair on it than that thing growing off your face!" Sirius laughed, as he glanced over to Remus and where he had last seen James. "Don't you agree, mates?"

"Say 'Thank you, Sirius for saving me from myself,' Peter." Remus smiled.

"I've elected to simply nod." James's voice drifted from nowhere. Peter just waved them all off.

"You all can bugger off." Peter informed in a huff. "Sirius and James have no room to talk. I've seen Slytherin girls with more 5 o'clock shadow than you two gits. And the only time Remus is better off than the rest of us he resembles a walking shag carpet."

The four shared a laugh as they watched the door phantom its way open.

"Okay, I'll be back in a bit." James announced in a hushed voice. "If you're planning on setting one another aflame wait until I'm back."

"You know a handy extinguishing charm?" Remus inquired.

"Nah, just want to make sure I get a picture is all." James replied as he shut the door behind him. "And knock it off! It reeks of burnt hair in here and I'm not about to listen to either of you moan and groan about wearing an eye patch for the rest of time."

"You reckon James was suggesting 'Spark in the Dark' is a dangerous game?" Peter asked as he picked up his wand again.

"Now that doesn't really sound like our James." Remus commented from his bed.

"I think I'll be getting my safety tips from someone other than the Creator of 'Hammer Darts'." Sirius interjected as he pointed his wand at Peter. "Alright, we'll play ten more rounds or until someone has a bald spot."

* * *

Lily Evans had just shoed the last off the Gryffindors out of the common room by a quarter after eleven. Professor McGonagall trusted for her to make sure no student was up and about any later than midnight on school nights and she wasn't about to disappoint her. Of course, that would mean figuring out just how James Potter and his friends snuck out.

Lily settled into a chair facing the dying embers of the common room fireplace and stared into the eerie glow. Lily guessed that there must be a hidden passage somewhere in the common room or boys' dormitory for them to evade notice. She pondered this for a while but eventually gave up on trying to discern where it might be located since they were the only four who evidently knew about it. James or Sirius were lost causes as neither would divulge any little secret of there's easily. Lily decided to try getting the information out of Peter Pettigrew, he seemed like the type to supply information whether he realized he was or not. Or there was always Remus Lupin who seemed like the most decent of the four at times.

A creaking floorboard caught Lily's attention. She threw a look over her shoulder, preparing to tell whomever it was to get back in his or her bed but saw no one. Peering around the darkened room, Lily doubted anyone was hiding but decided to investigate it anyway. After she was certain no one was in the common room with her, Lily figured it was time to bed to be herself.

Between the boys' and girls' dormitories was the Prefect's bedroom as they were expected to be the authority figure of the house. Lily wondered if she would welcome the solitude or would miss having the other 6th Year Gryffindor girls to socialize with at night. She found Arabella Figg knocking on her bedroom door. Arabella glanced at Lily then the door with something of a confused expression.

"Lily, I thought you were in bed." Arabella said in a bewildered voice. Lily studied her curiously.

"Why did you think that?" Lily asked.

"Well I though I heard you door open and I wanted to ask you something before tomorrow." Arabella explained. Lily's eyes shifted toward her bedroom. Would James and the others be so bold as to break into her room just to mess with her? She gestured for Arabella to move to the side as she opened it. Eye's darting around the cozy accommodations, Lily saw no one in there and nothing out of the ordinary. Satisfied, Lily closed the door and turned back to Arabella in the hall.

"Guess being a Prefect has made me paranoid." Lily shrugged.

* * *

James breathed a sigh of relief as Lily shut the door. She had looked so comfortable in front of the fire in the common room that he had thought she wouldn't have been up for a bit. And Arabella Figg had to spend the past few minutes knocking and calling for Lily so there was no way he could have sneaked out if he had wanted. James could only assume she was going to burden Lily with something that pertained to her unhealthy fixation with cats.

James wasn't sure exactly what he was doing in Lily Evans' bedroom but this is just where he sort of ended up. He assumed he intended to prank her in someway but nothing had to him. Instead, he just found himself standing amongst her belongings and feeling somehow a little closer to Lily Evans by doing so. The voices of the two girls in the hall drifted through the door. James strained to listen.

"What did you want to ask me, Arabella?" Lily inquired.

"Well, you see, me and the other 6th Years have been gabbing and catching up, you know?" Arabella prattled. "And we were all talking about whom was with whom and you're still a Gryffindor 6th year so I came to get your update for the rest of the girls."

"Oh!" Lily sounded genuinely touched by this. "Honored you still consider me."

"Well you're just out Prefect now.it's not as though you're the enemy."

"Well, James and his friends don't seem to be of the same opinion."

James leaned closer at the mention of his name.

"So?"

"Unattached, Arabella."

"Hmm. Really?"

"Why are you so surprised?"

"Well, I know when you weren't ridding with the other Prefects on the Hogwarts Express you were with the Gryffindor foursome. Then I saw you talking with James and the others at the end of dinner and he was acting so awkward I thought he was asking you out or something."

James wondered if he really came off as such a git or if Arabella was just grasping at broom straws.

"He was only apologizing for something he said back on the train. NOTHING is going on with James and I."

"Pity. Always figured he fancied you."

James groaned. Just how big of a git WAS HE in the public eye?

"I very much doubt that. He always seems a little to busy talking just to listen to himself to ever notice what anyone else is doing."

"Oh come on, James isn't that bad, Lily."

"Oh really? Always goofing about and snubbing anyone with a bit of authority. He's cocky and sarcastic and thinks everyone should be charmed by his smile enough to bend over backwards for him. I'm telling you, James Potter speaks only to hear his own voice."

James lost interest in Lily's slander as he felt himself glowering under his cloak.

"Pity we can't all be as perfect as Lily Evans." James thought sarcastically, then his eyes fell on Lily's cloak and the prefect badge attached to it and got an idea.

* * *

"I didn't know you felt that strongly about James." Arabella gapped.

"I don't." Lily sighed. "He's just been a bugger lately and I'm venting a bit."

"Oh, well James can do that to a girl." Arabella admitted. "But he manages to be devilishly cute when he's at it, doesn't he?"

"He certainly does." Lily grinned shyly.

"I thought you might fancy him a little." Arabella winked at Lily before she headed back to the girls dormitory.

"That's speculation and hearsay, Arabella. So don't go repeating it!" Lily called after her in a hushed voice.

"What with you being such a notoriously light sleeper, Lily, I'm sure your hawk like ears would catch me if I even began to utter it." Arabella rolled her eyes. Lily smirked as she opened her bedroom door.

* * *

"Crap." Was all James's mind could come up with when Lily entered the room and shut the door behind her. He took a few steps back into an empty corner, not wanting to risk being underfoot. James had not idea whatever it was she and Lily had been prattling on about as he was terrible at eavesdropping when he was fuming but he HAD caught that last bit of dialogue. James's brain worked feverishly to try and discern whether Arabella had been sarcastic when she said Lily was a light sleeper or it that was the truth.

Lily hummed to herself a little as she grabbed a brush off her vanity and began running it through her long red hair. She opened one of her textbooks for the term and began paging through it listlessly. James refused to take his eyes of her out of fear she'd accidentally bump into him if he didn't keep a look out for her. He tried to silently will her to open her door for any reason long enough for him to make his escape but as she stood over her dresser skimming her book for several minutes, James began to doubt that he'd get such a lucky break.

After what seemed to be ten minutes or so, Lily closed her book and opened one of the drawers of her dresser. She pulled a set of pajamas set in the Gryffindor colors and threw them to her bed. Resuming her humming, Lily pulled the sweater of her school uniform over her head and tossed it into a laundry bin. James had to suppress a gasp as he felt his eyes peel wide open.

Lily Evans was undressing in front of him.

.Sort of.

As she tugged off her necktie and began fumbling with the buttons of her dress shirt, James willed himself to shut his eyes and face into the corner. The Gryffindor part of James rallied to his side to offer him strength.

"I WILL NOT look!" James committed himself to his chivalry with his fists clenched at his side. "It's by no means proper and completely disrespectful of Lily."

Then the 16 year old boy half of James got his say.

"Oh Come on!"

That's when James decided a peek couldn't hurt anyone really. Glancing quickly over his shoulder, he was Lily was pulling her hair out of the back of her pajamas and pulling her covers down to settle into bed.

James was torn between breathing a sigh of relief or muttering a curse of disappointment.

Just as Lily was about to climb into her bed, she glanced suspiciously around her room, peering into every dark corner as though she expected to find something. James held his breath; worried that Lily was just struck by the rightful impression that she was being watched. After a long moment of shifting her eyes fruitlessly about, Lily seemed to relax as she switched off a light and climbed into bed. James listened to Lily sigh in the darkness.

Figuring he'd give her half an hour or so to doze off, James stood rigid in the corner with his eyes locked on the covered Lily Evans.

* * *

During the first hour of his stay, James realized he was probably spending the night with Lily. After three failed attempts to leave, he was sick of having the hell scared out of him every time he made a move for the door.

The first time, as James passed her bed, Lily turned over and he all but sprinted back to his corner, worried she'd accidentally reach out and grab him. The second time she muttered something loudly in her sleep, which almost sounded like his name. It took him five minutes to regroup emotionally and realizes that she hadn't even woken up, let alone noticed him. The third time she sneezed and he nearly let out a scream.

Edgy and paranoid, James simply sat in the corner stiffly, careful to make sure his breathing didn't grow too loud or that he didn't nod off. His thoughts kept drifting back to his comfortable bed, which was waiting for him on the other side of the tower and how he could be in there sleeping at this very moment.

Instead, he was in Lily Evans' room perfecting the lost art of Voyeurism.

James had nothing better to do than watch Lily until the morning came, so that's exactly what he did. That and thought. He went back to plotting against her and Sirius, figuring maybe her presence would provide a certain inspiration.

For the second hour of his stay, James tried to come up with plausible ways to make Lily seem unappealing to Sirius but wasn't having any luck since she WAS a pretty wonderful person. James figured he'd have a better chance of making her dislike Sirius but he didn't want that either.

During the third hour, James was pretty much only thinking about Lily.

Around the fourth hour, James realized he was only thinking about Lily and tried to think about only Quidditch. This worked for about fifteen minutes until James thought about how Lily had hair as red as his robes then went right back to thinking about Lily.

At the fifth hour, James tried to figure out why he was thinking about Lily so much and ran through every possible rationalization. He figured he was obsessing over her because of his plotting and was looking for some discernable weakness to use to his advantage or it was just an after affect of being preoccupied with her so much these days.

James had a breakthrough just before dawn when he realized he had spent the last ten minutes trying to come up with a way to kiss Lily Evans while she slept without her knowing.

By the sixth hour, James had to pretty much admit to himself that he had a crush on Lily Evans.or possibly more. He spent the remainder of the hour grappling with self-loathing. James felt guilty for being interested in a girl his best friend wanted and hoped he had caught on early enough to do something about it.

The seventh hour was one of which James devoted to thinking of any way to get over his attraction to Lily. He considered preoccupying himself with an elaborate prank or wooing ANY OTHER GIRL BUT LILY but wasn't really achieving the enthusiasm or results he was hoping for.

At the eight hour, James wished Lily would just wake up so he could sneak out and hang himself in his closet, as it seemed like the only way this whole sorted mess could end pleasantly for all parties involved.

It was seven in the morning and Lily started to stir awake. She gave a lazy stretch and a small moan before rising out of bed. James was thoroughly impressed by her ability to look so captivating (though slightly disheveled) even when she was first getting up. Stretching, Lily grabbed a fresh school uniform and left the room probably to use the girls' dormitory bathroom.

It took James a moment to stretch out the crick in his shoulders and his neck before he slipped out of Lily's room and back to his own.

* * *

"Just tell us where you were all night, James." Sirius badgered his friend on their way to Charms. James hadn't been able to look his best friend in the eye since he had gotten back to the room. He felt all around guilty for being in Lily's room last night and the epiphany he had during the night wasn't helping.

"You don't hear me demanding to know where you were, do you?" James croaked back. He looked like hell and felt worse; comebacks were not high on his priority list.

"I'll take that as "I'm sorry, Sirius, but I reckon I'm much too tired to produce convincing lies or a decent retort.'" Sirius laughed.

"I bet he was shaking up with some girl all night." Peter smirked.

Sirius's face lit up with amusement and interest.

"James Potter!" Sirius crowed as he slapped James on the back, nearly knocking his spectacle to the floor. "Who's the lucky girl?"

"There's no girl." James lied. He wasn't about to tell them he had spent the entire night settled in a corner of Lily's room like some common voyeur. If they didn't make fun of him relentlessly they'd probably pummel him on principle, which would probably be far more merciful than the former.

"Trying to hide her from us, eh?" Remus commented, turning to Sirius and Peter. "Must really fancy this one."

Sirius spotted Lily coming up the hall in the company of Arabella Figg and beckoned her to come over. James felt himself blush slightly as he tried to look innocent in front of Lily even though she couldn't possibly suspect anything of him. She approached the group, eying them suspiciously.

"Yes." She asked curiously.

"You haven't heard any girls mentioning a late night tryst with our Mr. Potter have you?" Sirius inquired. James groaned and hid his face.

Lily shot James an accusing look.

"You were out of your room last night?" Lily spoke to James. James sighed, hoping he wasn't blushing too deeply as he was unable to reply.

"So you don't know who he was with?" Peter pressed. Lily's eyes burned into James as though she were attempting to remember something she had long since forgotten.

"Can't say for certain, no." Lily replied finally, before shooting James one last look and heading up ahead to Charms. Remus chuckled and the three other Marauders glanced at him with questioning looks. Remus cleared his throat.

"Lily's Prefect badge." Remus explained. "The letters were enchanted."

"What did they say?" Peter asked, smile already breaking across his face.

"'Little Miss Perfect.'" Remus smiled. Sirius and Peter shared a laugh while James said nothing. Somewhere during his eight hour stay in Lily's room, he had forgotten he had enchanted her badge.

"Your handiwork, James?" Sirius inquired. James sighed before nodded.

"Yeah and now she's going to know it was me because you three told her I was out of bed." James glowered.

"So?" Peter shrugged. "Since when do you care if a Prefects on to you? You never get caught because no one but us knows about your invi-"

Sirius elbowed Peter in the stomach to stop him from finishing his sentence.

"And why does no one know about it?" Sirius glared.

"Because we don't talk about it." Peter recited rubbing his abdomen.

"I swear Peter, remind me NEVER to trust you with a secret." Sirius sighed as the four went into Charms.

* * *

Although Lily was well rested, she felt completely restless. She had dreamt about James all night, the details escaping her but she had woke up feeling content. She blamed Arabella entirely since James had been the last thing they discussed so, naturally, he was the last thing on her mind. She had even paged through her Advanced Transfigurations text before bed because it was James's favorite subject and it made her feel a little closer to him while doing it.

For some reason, Lily got the impression that people were pointing and snickering at her for evidently no reason. Recalling that odd sensation she had before getting into bed, Lily was resolved to work on the paranoia that had evidently manifested with her taking on the position of Prefect. After all, she would sound crazy if she started talking about how she though people were watching her in her bedroom.

Lily found herself stealing glances at James Potter in spite of herself all morning and she was certain she had caught him looking at her more than once as well.

"Probably just wants to know why I keep staring at him." Lily guessed to herself on her way to lunch. Lily was suddenly struck by the irony of this question. "Why do I keep staring at him?

Lily didn't have an answer and that bothered her. What bothered her more was when she started to wonder if James had, in fact, met with some girl last night. She assumed her interest was only because she was James's Prefect and was responsible for keeping track of him, but her lack of certainty made her uncomfortable with this topic.

Although she was invited once again by Sirius to sit with him and his friends at lunch, Lily elected not to since she couldn't trust herself not to keep looking at James so she sat with Arabella and the other 6th Year girls instead.

* * *

"Now why wouldn't Lily sit with us?" Sirius asked disappointedly once she was out of earshot.

"She's probably still mad at me for sneaking out." James offered. "She's been staring at me all day."

"Makes it kind of hard to put the moves on Lily so long as you're in ten feet of James, eh?" Peter commented as he forked some fried chicken onto his plate and passed the serving tray to Remus.

"Yeah, pity I'm not trying to drive her off." Sirius agreed before nudging James playfully. "Some help you're turning out to be!"

James knew Sirius was being sarcastic but the guilt that had been eating at him all day took the comment straight to heart. James realized that he couldn't, in good conscious, betray his friend. However, he couldn't, in good conscious, help him either.

"Um, about that, Sirius." James began stiffly. "You see.I don't know if I'm really the person to help you with all this. I think Lily's too clever for any ruse or stunt we could brew up. That and I'm not much of a go between if she's adamant about disliking me."

Sirius studied James for a moment before breaking into a smile.

"Oh please, James." Sirius rolled his eyes. "When have you ever backed down from a challenge, especially one to help out a friend? I mean, considering what lengths you were willing to go for Remus here, I'd think getting into Lily Evans good graces would be a simple task."

"It'd be getting into her pants that'd be the trick." Peter observed. James chocked on his food and Remus and Sirius shot Peter pointed looks. Peter smiled apologetically. "Alright, I apologize. Horribly poor taste."

"As crass as the little rodent may be, Peter does have a point." Remus admitted. "Sirius is the one with the hard part since he's got to win Lily over in the end."

"You make it sound like just handing Lily over to Sirius would be an easy thing to do." James muttered before realizing what he said. He hoped it was vague sounding enough for the others to interpret as something more innocent than he had meant.

"Well, no." Remus agreed. "But I'm sure you'll come up with some brilliant scheme James. You always do."

James was about to sigh in relief before he realized he was right back where he had started. He only hoped Remus was right and something brilliant would come to him.

* * * * * *

* * *

3 Libras

By: A Perfect Circle

* * *

Threw you the obvious And you flew with it on your back A name in your recollection Down among a million same

Difficult not to feel a little bit Disappointed and passed over When I've looked right through To see you naked but oblivious And you don't see me

(Chorus) But I threw you the obvious Just to see if there's more behind the Eyes of a fallen angel Eyes of a tragedy

Here I am expecting just a little bit Too much from the wounded

But I see See through it all See through And see you

(Chorus)

Oh well Oh well Apparently nothing Apparently nothing at all

(Repeat) You don't You don't You don't see me

You don't see me at all