Ok I tried my best on this chapter… I still think it's crap… ><;;;; just please bear with me! *sobs*
When Life Moves On
By: Plumgirl
Summary: It's been three years since Voldemort's defeat and things have changed a lot. Everyone is picking up the pieces and moving on with life. Except Hermione and Harry. Hermione, because she can't go on. And Harry because he won't leave her behind.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter… though I wish I did… who doesn't? Ms. JK Rowling owns it…
It's always nice, under our tree by the Great Lake. I watch as the Giant Squid wiggles one of his tentacles before diving for its prey.
There is a slight breeze on this sunny day and I just sit under the tree. Reading Hogwarts, A History.
It's so peaceful and serene. But I do not think it is heaven. For I never imagine heaven to make me feel so lonely.
It's definitely not hell.
It's just a place in-between.
It's just a peaceful place. Where I can read.
It's nice being here, relaxing and reading. There's no one here with me, but that's not too bad.
I walked on the grounds of Hogwarts, headed towards the Great Lake.
It was dark, but I didn't care. I needed to go to my tree.
I saw the Great Lake in the distance. I ran towards it. I looked for my tree, but I couldn't find it.
I panicked.
The tree was supposed to be there!
Where was the tree?!
I thought maybe it was too dark, so I lit my wand and looked around. There still was no tree.
I ran to the spot where it should have been.
There was a stump there.
My tree had been cut off.
My legs buckled under me at the sight and I started crying.
'Where did it go?'
I couldn't believe it was gone.
I crawled to the stump. I put my hand over it as I started to sob.
Everything's changed.
It's so different.
I hugged the stump and kept crying, mourning the loss of my security, my strength.
It was getting cold, but I didn't care.
After awhile, I sat up and reached into the pocket of my robe. I pulled out my shrunken copy of Hogwarts, A History, enlarged it and held onto it tightly.
Later, I cast a lighting spell with my wand, so I could read.
It was dark and cold, but I didn't care. I just kept turning the pages and reading.
I was shivering as I read.
I was there for a long time. Trying to find that place again.
I was trying so hard that I didn't notice Harry approach me. He stood in front of me and called my name.
He took off his coat and put it on me while trying to get me to stand up.
"No" I said, shaking my head furiously, "You're not supposed to be here."
"Hermione." Harry said, worried, "Let's get out of here, you'll get a cold!"
He grabbed my arm and tried to lift me up.
"NO!" I shouted, "You're not supposed to be here!!"
"Hermione!"
"GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
"HERMIONE!"
"JUST GO AWAY!"
"HERMIONE, SNAP OUT OF IT!" Harry shouted as he shook me.
"GO AWAY! GO AWAY!"
"DAMNIT HERMIONE!"
Harry grabbed me and reached inside his pocket. I tried to flail from his grasp. He fished out a small blue bottle and opened it. He held the bottle to my lips, and I tried to squirm away.
Harry cursed, but he managed to get me to drink it. I cried as the cold liquid went down my throat.
Harry held me close as I kept crying. He kept reassuring me and stroking my hair.
Slowly my sobs died down.
Harry didn't say anything, he just held me.
I just held onto him tighter, sniffling.
I felt more relaxed after awhile and Harry suggested that we go inside. I shook my head.
"Let's just stay here for awhile." I said, quietly.
Harry looked like he was about to refuse, but he relented and just cast a warming spell over the both of us. We didn't say anything, but we didn't fall asleep either. We just held each other, on the grass, by what once was our tree.
It started getting brighter as dawn approached. We watched as the sun rose on the Great Lake and everything around us grew brighter from the light.
I looked around. Everything appeared to be the same, but they were different. There were fewer flowers in the grass. And the grass wasn't as green as I remembered.
I looked back toward the castle and noticed it still looked the same, except it looks as though it had expanded a bit.
"They added more classrooms." Harry said, breaking the silence, "A lot more kids are enrolled now that the war is over."
I just nodded.
I looked up at Harry. He was still Harry, but he seemed to have gotten older.
"You've aged." I said quietly.
Harry gave a small chuckle, "I'm not ancient. I still insist I have my handsome boyish looks."
I gave him a small smile and put my head on his chest.
"What happened, Harry?" I asked, with my head still on his chest.
He paused for a second, before responding, "I don't know."
I grabbed the front of his robes. "Everything's changed."
"Yeah."
I looked up at him. "People changed."
Harry looked at me sadly and nodded.
Tears filled my eyes again.
"Why?" I asked, my voice quivering.
Harry didn't say anything. He just looked at me sadly.
I put my head down on his chest again. We didn't say anything for awhile.
I was too hurt and confused. It's like I was in a different dimension. Everyone and everything was different. I thought maybe at my tree, I wouldn't feel so alone. But the tree was gone too.
I always felt so peaceful and secure, while reading under the tree. I only felt a bit of loneliness. Now being in this world, I thought I wouldn't anymore. But I was wrong.
I always felt I could adjust. I didn't when I was young and when I first found out I was a witch. Everything was so different and I was alone at the beginning, but I made it through somehow. I had my two best friends. Both whom I love so much.
But now I lost one of them. The one I thought would make my life complete.
But everything and everyone's changed so much. It's like life went on without me.
Even if it did, I thought feelings wouldn't change.
Love shouldn't change.
'But I guess I was wrong' I thought bitterly. 'Three years is a long time.'
It was a long time.
"How long was Ron seeing Lavender?" I asked quietly.
Harry froze for a moment. "I don't know, I only found out recently."
I just nodded.
"Did he ever miss me? Just a little bit?" I asked in a small voice.
Harry sighed and after a long pause he said, "Yes. He was a wreck when after you got in the accident."
That reassured me a bit.
"He wouldn't leave your room," Harry continued quietly, "He'd just spend days by your side, crying."
"What changed?" I asked, looking up at Harry.
Harry looked at me sadly, and looked so guilty. "I'm sorry."
I looked at him, slightly confused.
"I changed him," He said, tears forming in his eyes, "I made him change."
I felt a rush of hurt and betrayal run through my body.
"I told him to move on" Harry said, now crying, "I told him you wouldn't want him to put his life on hold."
"No I wouldn't" I said quietly, I stared down at my lap.
"I just wanted him to start living again, Hermione," Harry said, "He was so devastated when you got hurt! He wouldn't do anything. He just stopped living!"
Tears were pouring down Harry's cheeks. I didn't say anything, but I felt some of my anger ebb away.
"I didn't mean for him to just leave you completely!" Harry cried, "I swear! I didn't!"
I watched Harry cry as he begged for me to forgive him.
I felt so numb. I watched my arms go around hugging him and heard myself reassure him, telling him it was alright. Harry slowly calmed down and held onto to me tightly.
I felt so angry at Harry, but I knew it wasn't his fault.
It wasn't even Ron's fault.
It wasn't mine.
I could have taken it out on Harry and just pound and berate him, but it wouldn't make the pain go away.
Besides, Harry was hurting so much already.
We were both hurting so much.
"It's not your fault," I told him quietly, "It's not yours and not mine."
Harry just sniffled and held onto me tighter.
"And it's not Ron's fault too." I said, my voice quivering, "It's no one's fault."
Harry looked at me incredulously and looked like he wanted to protest. I shook my head.
"Think about, Harry," I tried to say firmly, "It's been three years! You said yourself that he was putting his life on hold for me. I wouldn't want that!"
"But-
"He moved on!" I continued, "He started living again. He started being happy."
"But-
"I know the way he moved on wasn't the proper way, but he did," I said, "He's happy now."
Harry didn't say anything.
"And I'd rather have Ron moving on and being happy," I said, my voice unsteady, "then him pining and wasting away for me!"
Harry didn't say anything, he just clenched his hands. I stared straight at Harry.
"I'm not saying I'm not mad at him," I said, "I'm not saying I'll forgive him."
I shook my head. "I'm saying I understand."
Harry looked at me sadly.
I tried to smile through my tears. "You know, for him it was three long years, but for me it was like it was just yesterday that he proposed."
My heart clenched at the thought. Ron and me. Now it's Ron and Lavender.
Tears poured down my cheeks. "It just hurts so much!"
Harry held me again as I continued to cry.
I didn't know if I could stop. But I did. And the pain was still there.
"Maybe it would have been better it I didn't wake up." I said quietly, "It would have been better for everyone if I had just died."
Harry stiffened then glared at me.
"Don't you dare say that!" he said harshly, "Don't you dare!"
I smiled at him sadly, "Wouldn't it have made things easier? I mean you wouldn't be fighting with Ron."
Harry shook his head.
"You guys wouldn't act like strangers," I continued, "And Ginny wouldn't be so unhappy."
Harry looked startled.
"I'm not that dense, Harry." I said, smiling sadly.
"No." Harry said, shaking his head, "It wouldn't. I'd rather have you alive than dead!"
I didn't say anything. Harry lifted my chin.
"Things and people change," Harry said, looking directly at me, "But you being dead is not a change I would ever want!"
I didn't say anything.
"It sucks that everything changed," Harry said, more strongly, "But the world is better with you in it. My life is better with you in it!"
I gave him a small smile as tears filled my eyes.
"I told you before," Harry said, "Don't feel like you've fallen behind. Don't play catch up. It's not worth it."
I smiled and hugged him.
"Don't try to catch up, Hermione," he said, "There's no need."
"Besides," He said, "the only person you should worry about catching up to is me and I don't think you've ever fallen behind!"
He grinned at me and I gave him a small smile.
"Come on!" Harry said, "It's cold."
He pulled me to my feet. He picked up my book and wand and made me put on his coat.
"You know it's been awhile since I ate breakfast in the Great Hall." Harry said as we started walking.
"Those meals were nice." I said, thinking about our times at Hogwarts.
Me, Harry and Ron.
"Then let's go!" Harry said as he dragged me too the castle.
I just let him
***
"I think we should contact Healer -in-Training Vane so she can give you a checkup!" Harry said, when we went back home.
I frowned, "I just saw her yesterday!"
"Well that was before you decided to catch pneumonia by staying out the whole night!" Harry said as he went to contact St. Mungo's.
I let out an annoyed sigh. "I'll be fine, Harry! I'll just take a Pepper-Up potion!"
"Still" Harry insisted, stubbornly.
I just rolled my eyes and went to the kitchen to make some tea. As I put the kettle on the stove I noticed an owl tapping at the window.
I let him in and took the letter from his beak. It was from St. Mungo's.
My exam results.
I quickly ripped them open. I read my results then froze.
"Ok Hermione," Harry said, walking into the kitchen, "She'll stop by later today."
He noticed me standing there with my mouth open. He frowned, and then he noticed the letter in my hands.
"Well?" he asked be eagerly, "Did you pass?"
I just nodded.
Harry broke into a grin. "We should go celebrate!"
I just smiled then stopped, "Wait don't you have to go to training?"
Harry stopped smiling.
"Well, I'm sure I can get out of it," He said with a weak smile.
I frowned at him.
"Go to work!" I ordered him.
"It's fine," He said, "I'll just call in sick!"
He cowered under my gaze.
"No." I said firmly, "I refuse to let you miss more training."
"But Hermione-
"No." I said sternly, "Go to work!"
Harry grumbled.
"We can celebrate later." I said, smiling.
Harry sighed. "Fine! We better!"
I just smiled then ushered him to go change and leave. "You're going to be late!"
Harry just grumbled as he went to change.
***
I re-read my letter, still in shock that I passed. They sent an additional letter saying I was to receive my uniform in a few days.
'Wow' I thought, 'I'm going to be working at St. Mungo's'
It felt surreal.
Only a month ago I was still an 18 year old, Hogwarts graduate with a fiancé.
Now I'm working at St. Mungo's.
'Where did the time go by?' I thought a bit sadly.
I sighed as I thought about what to do.
I have a job now. I'm 21. And I'm not getting married.
I took a deep breath.
'Life goes on' I thought, 'and I should too.'
I looked at my ring.
My hands shook as I took it off.
I closed my eyes tightly to force the tears back.
I looked at my left hand.
There was still a crease where the ring was. I rubbed it a little bit, and then I put the ring in my pocket.
I took a deep breath and decided to clean the house, busying myself.
I dusted the rooms, put my books away and even vacuumed.
As I closed the lid to the washer, putting in the last load of laundry, I noticed my left hand.
The crease was gone.
It was like there was never a ring there.
***
Part 7 Finished
AN: *sigh* this chapter should have been better…. ><;;;; I thought it was a bit lacking in something *grumbles and apologizes* I don't think I'm so good at writing emotional scenes.
Thank you for all those who have been reading and consistently reviewing… What was originally a short, simple piece has now become a little more complicated… all because of the encouragement and attack of the plot bunnies! Hopefully it'll be better than what I originally had in mind….(With what I had in mind, I probably would have been done by now, though -_-;;;)
But I realized the story was more complicated…
Anyways, thank you! And as always, comments and constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome!