Disclaimer: I don't own anything remotely related to Harry Potter or Euro-Trip.
Harry Doesn't Know
Chapter 3: Proclaimed Love and Fuzzy Vision
[A/N]: This is currently being beta'd by myself, so if anyone is interested, please say so!
...
Fuzzy.
Everything was fuzzy.
His vision- fuzzy.
Memories from last night- fuzzy.
The head of hair he was laying next to- fuzzy.
The bra that had found it's way strapped onto Harry's chest- fuzzy... and pink.
Harry emitted a low groan not daring to open his eyes.
After moments of not being able to drift back into a post-drunken slumber, Harry peeled one eye open cautiously. He was in the boy's dormitory along with Ginny, Seamus, Dean, Neville, Lavender, Susan, hundreds of those devilish blue cups, and Hermione who was laying at his side with her head buried into the crook of his arm. He closed his eye, starting to remember some of the events from last night. Clips of ping pong, muggle playing cards, a realistically looking bucking bull with Ron strapped on top, him and the residents of the room playing cops and robbers, and telling ghost stories of Boobie the seahorse littered his mind.
"I'm never drinking again," he said to himself bringing his hand up to wipe the drool of his mouth and realigning his glasses.
"Mmm, you say that every time, Harry," rasped Hermione from beside him. He turned to look at her. She had rolled over on her back with one hand on her forehead and the other pinching the bridge of her nose. She was in a white bikini with a big dollar sign in red ink drawn across her abdomen.
"Your one to talk. I guess you where the money?"
"And you were the robber?" she observed eyeing the black stripes drawn all across his body. "Sweetie, I think that bra is just a tad to big for you."
"Hey," he said in a fake innocence, grabbing on of his faux boobs, " it doesn't hurt to dream."
She let out a laugh followed by a quick grown, "Ughh what happened- no, don't answer that." Harry could tell she was remembering some details from last night by the way her brow furrowed. "Wow, we just keep getting better and better with things to do to Ron don't we?" she smiled as she remembered muggle tapping an intoxicated Ron onto a stagnant bull, before it started it's cycle of bucking again.
"Practice makes perfect." Harry breathed, raising an eyebrow at her.
"Yeah well, I don't think I'll be having many nights like these from now on," she sighed.
"When do you leave for Paris?"
"Krammer wanted to meet with me in his office before we leave, he said around 10:30."
"Er, Hermione-"
"It's 10:30 isn't it?"
"Afraid so."
In a matter of thirty seconds Hermione had jumped up off the bed (almost falling over, mind you), transfigured herself clean and into a professional suit, banished her trunk to McGonagall's office (she'd be taking the floo out), said a hurried apology and farewell to Harry, tripped over Dean and was on her way out of the tower.
....
After a few minutes of stumbling over himself and the other bodies in the room, Harry managed to put on some decent clothes, and then again started stumbling out of the dorm.
"Sobriety potion awaits," he muttered to himself clanging on to the rail of the spiral staircase. "Why? Why does the bloody stair case have to be in spirals?"
To his surprise, the common room was spotless save for Ron huddled by the window, ('How'd he escape the bull?') but there was not one blue cup in site.
'My compliments to Dobby.' he thought impressively thinking of the self-abusive house elf, probably making loin clothes out of the cups.
"Alright there, Ron?" he asked, wondering over to his ginger haired friend. Ron's eyes were red and blotchy, his face pale, and his hair ruffled. He was staring persistently out the window. He shook his head.
"I just made the biggest mistake of my life," he said somberly. Harry raised his eyebrows in confusion.
"Who'd you impregnate?"
"Harry this is serious! Last night I-I.. I got a letter from Leigh last night." he said still sadly staring out the window.
"How'd you impregnate Leigh over a letter?"
"No! I-I, I was really drunk, Dobby had just released me from that bull, by the way thanks mate," he added sarcastically, "anyway, Dobby told me I had a letter, and it was from Leigh. In the letter she told me she was coming to England asked if I wanted to get together with her. And I-I..."
"You told her you didn't want children?" Harry ventured, ducking a blow from Ron.
"Actually no, you mindless twat. I took Hermione's advice and told her to keep her hands off my genitals."
"Hmm, well write her back and tell her you were drunk and it was a mistake," he said simply. Ron shook his head,
"It's not that simple, she owl blocked me. She's unlisted as well so I can't even call her felly tone."
"What the hell is a 'felly tone'?" asked a mumbling Seamus coming down the stairs. "Whoa, this place is clean." Seamus still had the word 'Police' stamped to his forehead from last night's escapades.
"Well-" Harry began before Ron quickly cut him off.
"I'm in love with Leigh. I'm in love with my quill pal." He stated. "But I've made a mistake that I can't reverse. I can't even contact her."
Seamus looked from Ron to Harry, "Does he always sound this sober the night after a party?"
"Shut up! Someone just tell me what to do!"
Harry looked at Ron seriously for a few moments before his mouth opened and turned back to Seamus, " Seamus why are you wearing my bath robe?"
"Oh, I'm sorry- but somebody pissed all over mine last night!"
"Oh you two are fucking hopeless!" shouted Ron, closing his eyes and throwing his head against the window pane.
"So go to Berlin." suggested Seamus in a way like it was the most obvious answer.
"Wait, he can't just go to Berlin." said Harry rolling his eyes like it was obvious.
"Yes he can."
"Yes I can," agreed Ron lifting his head off the panel.
"What about your internship for Puddlemere?" Harry queried with raised eyebrows.
"But what about your love for Leigh?" countered Seamus. Harry sagged his shoulders in defeat. 'Oh now he'd gone and done it.'
"I'm going to Berlin." he said triumphantly standing up.
"Good on you mate," said Seamus clapping him over the back and giving Harry a winning look as he headed back upstairs.
"I'm going to Germany!" Ron stated again excitedly.
"No mate," her smooth and fake innocent voice played in his head again, 'Your just so, predictable,', " we're going to Germany."
'But will someone please get me sobriety potion first!'
...
Ahh so there off!
I will say it again, this story is extremely, EXTREMELY AU! Hell, if JKR seen this she'd probably hunt me down and smack me over the head with a shovel a few times.
If you may have wondered about Ron being extremely OOC here I wanted it to have already dawned on him that he had fallen in love and fucked up by the time Harry got to him.
Didn't like Hermione's leave? Bah, me either. I wanted it to happen differently but it just fit that way I guess.
Hope you had a decent enough read.
Cheers!
XOXO