Disclaimer: I do not own anything remotely related to Harry Potter or Euro-Trip.
Harry Doesn't Know
Chapter 6: The 3 Mariachi's and A Nice Bum In Paris
....
The horn of the hooligan's bus was blaring, honking and tooting, all the way into Paris.
"Get out of the way ya snail eating puffs! Move your ass you Gaelic fucking garlic bread tossers! Oh piss off! Learn how to drive will ya, ya good for nothin' French twit. Are ya gonna head butt me mate? Oh fuck off! Get in here and say that, you froggy Itie shities!"
"Well at least he got us here quickly," commented Harry, sitting calmly across from Ron and Neville who were in total shock, and looked like they were about to get sick.
"Yeah, and they drove worse than the bloody night bus. It's a damn good thing that bloke looks intimidating and worse than a werewolf in heat or I'd think half of France would be after our arses by now." Ron looked outside the bus window where cars were headed straight for the massive bus.
"You wanna beep, we'll beep ya bastard all over your fucking nose!" Bernie was again yelling at the front of the bus. "Get outta the way, piss off you fuckin' toad." Ron looked back at Harry with an exasperated look.
"Be thankful."
The bus crashed to a stop, and the whole bus started shouting their support for Manchester. Bernie took his jacket of and stepped off the bus sophisticatedly. The smile on his face as he looked around suddenly vanished as he focused his attention somewhere down the street.
"Hey lads!" called Bernie holding his hands up, "That wanker's got a frog football shirt on!" The bus started to file out around Bernie staring the little man who had turned to look at them down. The poor bloke was shaking in his slippers, his bag a vegetables vibrating in his grip. The men started their routine, taking out their weapons.
"Let's give this nancy a fucking good kicking! Ahh!" he cried in battle stance, the rest of his crew running down the alley at the Frenchman who had abandoned his vegetables and sprinted around the corner of the street.
Harry, Ron, and Neville were last off the bus. "Well alright then, let's head off to the nearest station!" Ron clapped his hands together and took off in the opposite direction of the hooligans.
.....
"Come on you bloody street light."
"Ron, I highly doubt that one street light is going to be the difference of you and Leigh spending the rest of your life together. Chill out mate."
"No Harry, it's not the time I'm worried about, it's these bloody mariachi singers behind us. Annoying the bloody hell out of me, they are." Harry spinned around and looked at three figures, one with a guitar, one with two little drums wrapped around his enormous stomach, and another standing single, all wearing vibrant red shirts which were sparkling in the light of the street lamps. Harry let out a laugh.
"Come on, Ron. Poor blokes are probably only trying to make a buck or two." Neville prodded the moody Ron in the arm.
"They don't have to sing so bloody loud or dress like queers though," he attempted, pressing the button for the street crossing signal again.
"What's wrong with singing? Neville likes it. My baby takes the morning train, he works from 9 to 5 and then!!" Neville joined in with Harry, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and swinging delightfully, "He takes another home again to find me waiting for him!" A passerby stopped and smiled at them, throwing a few coins next to their backpacks. Harry turned around and winked at Ron, who shook his head defeated.
"Oi, what the hell are you on about? This is our corner, go find somewhere else!" yelled a British voice a couple yards away. The trio turned around to see one of the mariachi singers fuming at them. 'Holy hell,' Harry thought, looking the singer up and down.
"Malfoy?" Ron choked out with wide eyes. Malfoy froze, his shoulders sagging, making the shirt even more baggy. The two figures behind Malfoy turned around to reveal Crabbe and Goyle. They just looked at each other and then back at Malfoy waiting for instructions. Harry started laughing and Neville quietly shaking with laughter. The trio shared one bemused look before Ron had fallen to the ground in laughter, Harry was bent over holding his sides, and Neville had a hand to his mouth and the other on a rail to support himself from folding over.
"Sh-shut up," Malfoy stuttered, his silver eyes looking around to see if anyone was staring.
"Malfoy- I had no idea you were so... multi-talented." Ron said regaining his posture.
"Shut up! My father-"
"Is sending you owls from Azkaban telling you to stand on busy French street corners singing ungodly tunes and wearing," Harry looked him up and down and started to chuckle again, "...that. Are you sure your father really loves you?"
"I'll have you know Potter that these shirts attract a lot of women. Real women," he said smugly, folding his arms across his chest.
"And where are these women of yours? Getting the hair shaved off their backs and attending an afternoon lipo?" laughed Ron. Crabbe started to nod seriously before Malfoy elbowed him in the stomach. "Oh we are jealous."
"Piss off this corner!" Malfoy shouted his temper starting to rise.
"Your just mad because people like us more." said Harry also crossing his arms over his chest and lifting his head up. Two could play Malfoy's little game…
"Haha, please Potter, you don't have half the skill it takes to be a street talent." Malfoy glanced over at some ladies walking up in their luxurious fur coats, "watch and learn." Malfoy strolled up to the poised women and did a series of ballet twirls around then ending exactly in front of them bent in a bow with his arm extended. The crowd applauded the performance and the dark skinned women took Malfoy's offered hand and let him kiss it. Harry and Ron shared a look, grinned and then pushed Neville into the centre of circle.
Neville looked back terrified. "Confidence, Neville," Harry and Ron said together. Neville looked around at the on lookers. They were expecting something from him and growing impatient. One young lady smiled politely at him. Neville cleared his throat and walked up to the woman. "Mademoiselle," he said holding his hand to her.
"Mousier," she took his hand and let him guide her to the centre. A ballroom ballad started playing from somewhere when Neville lead off, swinging the woman in tedious circles, back in forth, in and out, up and down. At the end of the dance he bowed and she curtsied formally. The crowd cheered, with Ron and Harry yelping out their approval.
"Right on of you Neville!"
"That'll teach the twit, Nev!"
Neville merely smiled and thanked the lady with his eyes. She walked back off into the crowd and Neville turned to see a furious Draco Malfoy coming at him. Neville froze, "Listen Longbottom, your pansy ass maybe good at swinging some bitch around on your arm but I will not let you sit here and take over our corner!"
Neville just stood there with his mouth slightly parted. Harry and Ron were waiting on Neville to make a move before stepping in. "Listen to yourself Malfoy, you sound like a hooker in east London protecting her district. You can have it, we're leaving anyway. But I bet there's one dance move you don't know," Neville finished dignity, his eyebrows raised. Ron and Harry shared a muddled look.
"Oh yeah? And what would that be?"
Neville smiled, "I call this the nut cracker." Neville swung his leg back and rammed it into the centre of Malfoy's tight pants. Malfoy emitted a high pitch scream that made a few members of the audience cover their ears. Once Malfoy had fallen to the ground the crowd again erupted in cheers, throwing various sized coins at Neville.
"Alright Neville!" yelled Harry and Ron coming up to him clapping him on the shoulder. "Ron, I think we're making progress with him!"
"That felt good."
"I don't think poor Drakie is going to be planning on children in his future," commented Ron, looking at Malfoy with his hands gripped on his pants.
"Let's get out of here, people are crossing." Neville told them modestly, pointing at the cross walk.
....
"Okay we are not leaving the station until our train comes in," Ron told them handing Harry the envelope containing three train passes to Crans Sur Mer.
"Crans Sur Mer?" Harry asked, reading the tickets, "where the hell is that?"
"Dunno, we'll only be there for an hour and a half before our next train departs," he said shrugging and sitting down next to Harry on the bench.
Harry stuffed the tickets back in the envelope and placed it in his jacket pocket. "I still wished we could have gotten together with Hermione." Harry said sullenly. Ron just looked at Harry with a questioning look.
"What's up with you and Hermione?"
"What do you mean? She's our best friend, I just would have liked to see her because I know the internship will keep her busy-"
"No I mean- you're Harry Potter." Ron said obviously, holding his hands out.
"Well spotted mate."
"No I mean you're Harry Potter, you could have any girl you wanted. Here we are on this crazy quest to Germany and there are so many amazingly hot women that you could claim as yours with just one look their way; yet you are concerned about meeting up with Hermione."
"She's our best friend!" Harry tried defensively. 'What was Ron on about?'
"You like her don't you?" Ron tantalized, smiling slightly. Harry looked all sorts of confused.
"Of course I like her and I hope you do to- she's our best friend."
"No, you like her, like her," said Ron again smiling, and nodding his head up and down to try and make Harry see it. "Come on Harry! At the graduation party, you were on the rebound and you had countless girls, I'm sure, throw themselves and offer you favours, yet you denied them and hung out with Hermione. We're in Paris, yet you're worried about not being able to see Hermione. She's practically the only girl you ever talk to. Put the pieces together wonder-boy."
"You're delusional. I do not like Hermione like that, and she is not the only girl I talk to." Harry recovered, shaking his head in denial.
"Prove it then," Ron suggested, nudging his head in the direction of a bum. A lone bum bent over at the soda machine across the station. A nice bum in faded blue jeans.
"Fine, I will." Harry got up from his seat and smoothed over his shirt, gaining some confidence. He started walking toward the girl with the nice bum, whose arms had started banging on the machine. Harry snapped his fingers and out came a soda can twirling towards him. He bent down and picked it up, putting on a cool smile as he stood. His smile dropped immediately into a look of shocked recognition.
"Harry!" exclaimed Hermione, throwing her arms around his neck and holding on fiercely. Harry hugged her back, still not believing that this lovely bum turned out to be Hermione. 'I just can't catch a break.' he thought meekly, as Hermione disentangled herself from him.
"Oh my god, Harry, what are you doing here?" she asked smiling at him. All he could do was smile and hand her the soda.
"I figured you needed my soda-fetching abilities." he shrugged trying to put it off like this was his every day job. She laughed. 'Since when did her laugh make my stomach tingle?' Harry looked over to the bench where Ron and Neville who must have just come back from the loo were sitting. Ron's head was in his hands, shaking back and forth and Neville had his head cocked to the side in bewilderment.
"Well you definitely saved the day," Hermione told him referencing to the can. "Hopefully Krammer doesn't fire me on account of the dents."
Harry frowned at her, "Why would he do that?"
"Because he's a right fowl arse who hasn't had a relationship with an actual person let alone a women in more than 40 years." she informed him nodding her head. Harry looked at her concerned before she supplied, "Yeah, he stares a lot."
"Ew," Harry voiced. He couldn't imagine what it must be like to have some 75 year old dinosaur stare at you while your reading or while your bent over at a soda machine...
"Yep. Really though what are you doing here?"
"Uh, Ron, Leigh, Berlin," he said his eyes turned upward to think of a shorter way.
"Wow that pretty much sums it up for me," she smiled at him. He grinned back at her, staring into her eyes.
"Granger are you done yet? How possibly hard is it to retrieve a drink from a machine, girl?"
"Er, that's my boss," she whispered turning around to meet a considerably aged man wearing a red scarf and tweed jacket. "Sorry Mr. Krammer, sir." she apologized handing him the can, "I ran into my best friend from school, this is Harry Potter."
"I don't care, I want you back to the table and re-reading the Luve papers until it makes you vomit, do you understand girl?" Mr. Krammer slapped the scarf over his neck and turned on his heel.
"I hope he can get around on crunches," Harry said, holding his right hand up, about to throw a bone-breaker curse at his leg.
"Harry," said Hermione, covering his hand in hers, "I appreciate it but you can't go around breaking people's legs when they insult me."
"Worked on Malfoy 6th year," he muttered under his breath.
"Bt this isn't school, this is my work." He looked at her like he was staring through her eyes and into her soul. "Okay if it makes you feel any better, I was thinking about resigning-"
"Really?" Harry asked excitedly. She nodded her head dejectedly. "That's great! You can come with us to Berlin!" She looked up at him pondering the question. "Come on Hermione," he pleaded taking her other hand in his, "this could be our last summer to spend together before work and the real world. And I want to spend it with my best friend- you. And Ron would definitely want you there when he meets Leigh, the blokes a bloody mess about it. Come on, what do you say?"
She studied his hopeful face, 'Hmm, his eyes get brighter when he's excited.' She smiled, "I say-"
"Ms. Granger!" scolded an intolerant voice. Hermione slowly took her hands from Harry's and turned around to face her boss. "Ms. Granger, I understand that women have a much smaller attention span then men do but when I tell you that papers from the Luve need to be revised, I mean for you to stop your little busy body from flirting with the whole station and read those damned papers, am I clear? I knew I never should have taken on an incapable woman."
"Excuse me?" Hermione asked murderously low.
"Oh no you didn't," Harry said from behind her bobbing his head back and forth. People disrespecting house elves was one thing, but Hermione could not stand it when pompous men underestimated the power of women.
"Ms. Granger, is their a problem?" the old man asked uptightly pretending he had just said nothing wrong.
"Your the problem arse! If it wasn't for you and your prejudice thoughts about women you might actually be able to run a successful business. That whole "most productive research firm" was from when MISS Alexzander was alive and you know it! Your work is based off women. How can you think so low of them when really they do all the work for you?"
"You listen here you mindless tramp-" CRACK
Krammer let out a scream, falling backward on the floor. Something was poking through the side of his pant leg, and a small pool of blood was starting to accumulate around it.
"Well, I guess you can find a man to follow you around and correct your mistakes this summer. I'll be in Berlin." Hermione turned and grabbed the beaming and profoundly proud Harry's hand, guiding him off to find her luggage.
"Okay," Hermione whispered over her shoulder, "but that's the last leg you break for me."
...
Well that's all for this chapter. Honestly, what's a story without Hermione in it! She's like the necessity. So yes expect some more good things coming from her. Draco was definitely AU in this chapter. It's seriously three in the morning right now, so I don't know what I was thinking now that I look back on that whole mariachi thing. A reviewer had a really interesting idea to put Draco in here and embarrass him and like have things thrown at him; I'm just not sure If I made it funny. I know that I was cracking up thinking about it but then again I haven't slept in three days. Now that I think about it... I'm mental. Ok so that I'm sorry about, please don't let it cloud your judgement of this story too much because it's gonna get a lot better in upcoming chapters! Thanks to all of you who reviewed last chapter, you guys are great and my inspiration to stay positive and keep writing. I wish the best of holidays to all of you!
Happy Christmas
CHEERS
XOXO
P.S- Again I have nothing against the French, it was just part of the movie that I laughed at. Sorry for my sick sense of humour!