Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Harry Doesn't Know
Chapter 9: Half Naked Bargaining and Eastern Europe
…
Ron snorted in his sleep, grabbing for an invisible object making him twist off the small bench.
"No! Booby! Booby the seahorse... Booby's my seahorse... oh Booby...Booby..."
"Ron! Trust me Booby's fine, Merlin," muttered Harry still lying on top of the bench, glasses hanging from one ear and button up shirt wrapped around his head like a turban. He twisted in his seat, finding it more comfortable to be behind Hermione with a now hair free arm draped over her side. She sighed and leaned into his back more, her eyes still inattentively closed.
"Oh Booby, your okay, okay, I'll grab you Booby," Ron still was lying spread eagle on the concrete pavement of the sidewalk, a nice thick track of drool hanging from his mouth.
"Someone, shut him up," rasped Hermione moodily, snatching at Harry's arm to bring it tighter around herself as if it was a warm blanket. "Dang Harry, you're warmer with hair." Harry smiled into the back of her head while scrunching his face together, concentrating very hard, well as hard as to be expected after a night like last night. Hermione giggled to herself, "Harry's not quite so hairy any more."
"Viola," said Harry, shoving his arm in her face. Hermione laughed lightly before gathering the strength to lift her own arm again and pull his back so she could see the tiny green hairs that had sprouted all over Harry's fore arm. She giggled again.
"Oh all better now- Harry's a bloody leprechaun," she whispered, her eyes starting to drift back close again.
"Ha, ha," Harry gave a fake sarcastic laugh and poked Hermione in the side, making her jerk and rub her bum up against Harry Jr.
He gave out a small loan, quickly passing it off like he was clearing his throat, "Er, I'll fix it later when I find my wand-"
He was interrupted by Ron gasping from the ground, "What?! You want me to pinch you Booby?"
Hermione groaned, "Mmmm, we should probably wake him up."
"No, him and Booby are fine how they are," he tried, pulling her closer, making Harry Jr. happy and making all the little Harry blood cells start rushing to his lower-mid region.
Hermione's eye lids shot open as she felt Harry begin to get tighter against her. She automatically sat up in her seat, not caring that during the time her feet had flown to meet the ground the had collided with Ron's head, making him shout out in pain. Harry was slowly starting to straighten, releasing his shirt-turban from his head and realigning his glasses. He started combing a hand through the back of his head, giving Ron an irked look with his eyes narrowed.
Ron however, still wasn't fully awake, yet he was now curled up in a ball on the pavement, rocking back in forth, chanting something under his breath.
"Booby, I can't, I have a girlf-"
"RON!" Hermione was now thoroughly agitated with Ron and began prodding his back sharply with her feet. Harry was moving behind her, grabbing for his back pack to find his wand. Hermione could hear him whisper 'Salsaugeo' and then another charm she recognized as the chilling charm.
"Who be who?" slurred Ron half pushing himself up from the ground. Hermione just gave him a dirty look and glanced back at Harry who was trying to conceal laughter and return his shirt to his body again.
Ron now was standing up right, wavering a little as he tried to massage his back from where Hermione had so kindly awoken him. "Man, I just had the weirdest dream."
"We know, by the way thanks for commentating on it for us." said Harry, Ron eyeing between his two best friends suspiciously.
"Oh, no prob. Where's Neville?"
Hermione scratched her forehead and started glancing around, "That's a good question."
"Oh my god," breathed Harry, looking down the street. Hermione and Ron followed his gaze and found a man with an opened button down shirt hanging limply from his shoulders, untied shoes, and bagging shorts striding towards them with a huge grin plastered on his face and a sweet tune being whistled from his lips.
Ron took a look back at the other two, making sure they all where seeing what he was seeing before turning back the bloke that had stopped in front of the group and was stretching his arms wide without a care in the world.
"Neville?" asked Hermione, just as shocked as Ron and Harry.
"Hey guys." he said giving all of them a bright smile.
"What the bloody hell happened to you?" asked Ron looking at him from bottom to top, taking in his very un-Neville like appearance.
"I got robbed!" he said enthusiastically at the trio. Letting out a small laugh and clapping his hands together he added, "It was awesome!"
He watched as all three of his friends surprised faces turned to those of unhappy shock.
...
"I can' believed this!" shouted Ron for what must have been the three thousandth time. Currently all four where walking, laden with luggage, down the abandoned intrastate. Ron stopped walking and turned around to rant some more at Neville. Harry and Hermione set down there backpacks and took a deep breathe preparing themselves for another earful.
"All our money, passports, tickets! Everything- gone!" Neville shuffled shyly in his spot while Hermione started to signal the few cars that would pass with the traditional thumb out. No one stopped.
"Well, whatever he says Neville, I'm proud of you." said Harry giving him a cheeky grin. Neville quirked his eyebrow, his radiant smile starting to lurch back on his face.
"Don't encourage him!" screamed Ron.
"Oh come on you bloody wanker!" yelled Hermione jumping up and down, her thumb still in the air, as another van seized to stop and continued on there way. Harry chuckled at her as she continued to mutter profanities under her breath.
"Hermione, we're on an intrastate outside of Amsterdam, they're not going to stop just because you have your thumb up. You have to show them something they haven't seen before," told Harry smiling playfully at her.
Hermione frowned in concentration, looking between the boys, "Well what do you suggest I do?"
"Just to clue you in Hermione, they have naked lesbians advertising orange juice here. Your going to have to do something that'll knock their socks off." joined in Ron, giving her a wink.
Hermione turned back to the road with a frown, her eyebrows still crinkled. "Wait, why do I have to be the one to do it? Harry you do it!"
"Come on, I'm sure these people would much rather see you topless than me." Harry countered folding his arms over his chest.
"Oh I wouldn't be so sure Harry, I seen a few blokes giving you the look yesterday," added Neville wiggling his eyebrows at Harry, who's mouth was now hanging open slightly. He turned to Hermione who was giving him an innocent half-smile.
"I'm not going out there alone, Harry." she said, she too crossing her arms over her chest. Harry quirked an eyebrow at her and looked back at Ron and Neville, Ron who were rolling his eyes at the both of them and Neville who was turning red from conversation. 'Naked lesbians and orange juice commercials... oh dear...'
"Fine," said Harry holding his hands up in defeat, "I'll take one for the team. But you two have to turn around now, I think I see a truck coming." he said pointing behind him.
"My pleasure," scoffed Ron who turned around without hesitation. Neville went even redder with Harry's statement.
Hermione looked past Harry's shoulder and sure enough a gray van was traveling down the road, heading their way. She glanced back at Harry who wore a small grin and was looking every which way except for her. "Alright then," she said, making Harry move his eyes to her.
"Alright then," he repeated.
She smiled and raised her eyebrows at him, "Well what are you waiting for, turn around and start stripping."
"You too!" he countered giving her the same expression.
"I will Harry, just don't look back at me, I don't want you peeking at my goodies. They're only for the driver's eyes," she told him playfully.
"Fine," he said obliging to turn around and start to pull his shirt up. "But that goes for you too. Even though you're going to have a delicious bum in front of your face that still doesn't mean you can stare. You have a job to do." He finally pulled his shirt all the way off, throwing it to the side. He pushed his glasses back up his nose before starting to unzip his pants.
"Whatever you say," said Hermione quietly, her mouth falling apart slightly as she watched the muscles in Harry's back work with his arms as he pushed his trousers to the floor. Hermione shook her head slightly, 'Deep breaths Hermione, deep breaths...'
"Hey are you working back there?" asked Harry in an amused tone.
"Of course," replied Hermione standing perfectly still, watching intently as he stepped out of his pants and kicked them to the side with his two strong tan legs. She watched as his calves flexed when he put his weight on them. 'Another deep breath.'
"I think the truck's at the bottom of this hill!" Harry said back to her, his thumbs sliding underneath the band of his maroon briefs. 'He wears briefs!' she mused to herself still not taking her eyes off him. Her mouth was now more then partially open, and her eyebrows were crawling up her forehead as she waited with berated breaths for him to take the barrier between his bum and her line of sight off.
HONK HONK!
She flinched as she heard the loud noise. Harry started waving his hands over his head at the gray van that was slowing down for them.
He let out a bark of laughter as the van stopped in front of him and the man started rolling down his window, "Look, Hermione! It worked!"
"Well you look at that," said Hermione cheekily walking past him. Harry's smile vanished immediately as his jaw dropped when he noticed Hermione still completely clothed. Harry's mouth was bobbing up in down, still in shock at her as she continued, "It did work! I'm proud of you my little Chippendales." She gave him a Cheshire grin as she picked up his pants and handed them to him.
"Ah," Harry uttered, his face now twisting, still trying to form coherent words.
"Can we turn around yet?!" yelled Ron from the side who had both his hands slapped over his face as if he was a six year old and had just witnessed his parents public display of affection.
"Yeah!" responded Hermione, still standing in front of Harry with a grin gracing her features.
"You..." Harry replied still staring at her in disbelief straight in the eye.
"Me." Hermione shrugged happily, leaving Harry to put the rest of his clothes on.
She joined Ron and Neville (who was busy flipping through his guide book) at the passenger's side of the car, listening to the man give long rapid greeting in German (various times pointing in the direction of Harry and winking).
Ron and Hermione both gave each other confused looks and then looked to Neville.
Neville looked up at them, "Oh don't worry... my uncle spent two years in Leipzig, and when he came back I picked up on a little of the language."
"Anything we can use?" asked Hermione, glancing back at the driver who was still speaking.
"Well I think he was kinda drunk when he was telling me...but I'm fairly confident." said Neville shrugging, waiting for the opportunity to speak.
"Bloody hell," sighed Ron, backing away to start pacing in front of the car.
After another minute the driver stopped talking and Harry had come to stand next to Hermione.
"Hermione, does anyone understand what he's saying?" Harry whispered to Hermione.
"Oh don't worry, Neville speaks bad German. We'll be fine."
"Alright here goes," muttered Neville more to himself as he looked the driver in the eye, "Hello!"
The driver let out a laugh, "Hello!" he replied waving at him. Neville smiled and looked back at Hermione who gave him the thumbs up.
"Um, Mein Deutsch ist krank, aber ich kann auf dir verstehen, wenn das Sprechen langsam ist."<My German is ill, but I can understand on you if the speaking is slowly.>, stuttered Neville giving him a bashful nod.
"Groß! Ich bin vierzehn Stunden lang gerade gefahren und ich habe nicht an drei Tagen geschlafen! Im Augenblick werde ich auf Alkohol, Benzedrine und jenen wenigen Schokolade bedeckten Erdnüssen verdrahtet, die mich wecken. Ist er für Verkauf?"<Great! I have been driving for fourteen hours straight and I haven't slept in three days! Right now, I'm wired on liquor, Benzedrine, and those little chocolate covered peanuts, which arouse me. Is he for sale?>, he finished giving a wink to Harry who took a step back. Neville stood there looking at him, his mouth agape.
"What'd he say?" asked Ron, breaking him out of his stupor.
He turned around to the group and gestured with his hands, "He said he's driving… or something." Hermione smiled looking between Ron and Harry who became more interested.
The driver looked at the group and chuckled, "Jah."
Neville cleared his throat, "Weißt du, wo Berlin ist?"<Do you know where is Berlin?>.
The driver smiled, "Berlin?" he asked enthusiastically. "Berlin! Ja kenne ich es gut. Ich erstach eine fette Frau in einem Stab einmal in Berlin!"<Berlin! Yes, I know it well! I stabbed a fat woman in a bar once in Berlin!> The group flinched as he gave a thrust forward with his arm and then continued to talk excitedly, "Aber ich bin das Gehen kein wo nahe Berlin."<Ah, but I am going no where near Berlin.>
Neville's ear perked up, "Berlin?"
"Jah, Berlin! Ich auch griff sexuell ein Pferd in Berlin an!"<Yes, Berlin! I also sexually assaulted a horse in Berlin!> he broke out laughing and started slapping his knee hysterically.
"Nev, what's he saying?"
"He's going to Berlin!" said Neville happily holding his arms out.
"Awesome!" shouted Ron, hugging Harry and Hermione. They all were smiling together, patting Neville on the back when the driver spoke again in a mirthful voice.
"Nirgendwo. Nahe. Berlin."<Nowhere. Near. Berlin> he said smiling, and gesturing every word with his hands.
"Well alright, we'll just hop in the back here." Neville responded slapping the side of the truck and walking back to the pile of their bags.
"This is great, Neville, you've truly redeemed yourself," smiled Ron, slinging his arm around Neville and walking to the back of the truck with his bag hung over his shoulder.
Right when Hermione moved to pick up her bag Harry snatched it out of the way.
"Hey!"
"Don't hey me, you so cheated back there." said Harry in his mock angry accusing tone.
"Yeah… so…" she replied innocently, sticking her bottom lip out and pivoting her toe in the dirt.
"Oh don't even try that. I did all the hard work!" said Harry unwillingly giving in to her puppy eyes.
"I think you were handsome enough for the both of us, Harry," she said taking her bag from his now loose grip as he stared at her with a slight smile and a small blush creeping onto his cheeks, "and apparently… I'm not the only one." She motioned her head back to the truck where the driver was winking at Harry some more and wiggling his eyebrows at him. His blush and smile immediately vanished. Hermione giggled and ran to the back of the truck where Ron and Neville were waiting.
Harry started to walk back, trying not to notice the driver's incessant stare on him.
"Hallo, mein kleines Chippendales, warum nicht tun, kommst du sitzt oben hier mit Papapferd, eh?"<Hello my little Chippendales, why don't you come sit up here with papa horse, eh?>
Harry turned to look at the man who wore a small, but intensifying creepy little grin. "Er, I don't speak-"
The driver winked again and patted the seat next to him.
Harry turned on his heel and immediately ran to the back of the truck.
…
When the truck came to a stop Ron eagerly jumped out to take in the beautiful a long awaited sights of Berlin.
"Beautiful! We made it to Berlin!" he said taking in a whiff of beautiful Berlin air, which, ironically smelled like suer. Ron choked a little and pulled the strap of is bag tighter to him while taking in the scenery. He furrowed his brows in confusion; this definitely wasn't what he expected.
"Jah," said the driver who had hopped out of the front to help everyone (especially Harry) with their luggage and things, "Niemand von Berlin finden mich überhaupt in Bratislava!"<No one from Berlin will ever find me in Bratislava!> said the man enthusiastically pumping his fist in he hair and then breaking out into another fit of laughter as he walked back to the driver's seat and drove away, giving Harry one last wink as he did so.
"Bratislava?" squeaked Neville watching the back of the van screech away through the distance.
"Dear sweet mother of God," whispered Harry looking in to the part of town that they had not seen when they arrived, "we're in Eastern Europe."
Ron was the first person to start walking cautiously down the street after a few moments of taking in the complete dirt and grime that made up Bratislava. Walking down the dirt street they seen an old man washing his underarms with a moldy towel and smoking a cigarette at the same time, a small and innocent dog, sitting obediently in the grass carrying a ('oh god... is that a hand? Harry's face scrunched up in a repulsive manor') between it's teeth, and various children's toys laying in the dirt, heads torn off of dolls, and axes put through tires of small bikes.
"Care to explain how this happened, Neville?" Ron asked stopping to turn and look at him.
"Er, well...no."
"Neville, how do you mistake Bratislava for Berlin?" again questioned Ron.
"We all heard the man say Berlin repeatedly," defended Hermione.
"I told you my German was bad, I mean I understood a few words," tried Neville looking down at the ground ashamed.
"Yeah like?"
"Like liquor, arouse, sexually, woman, and assaulted... oh and peanuts!"
"That's the German you picked up from your uncle?" asked Ron incredulously.
"Well yeah, the two years he spent in Leipzig was in jail." Neville said almost bashfully, pivoting his toe into the ground.
Ron turned around on his heel and continued walking. "That's just great, definitely thank your uncle for me, Nev."
"Sorry," mumbled Neville, walking a ways behind everyone else.
"Alright let's just stop. We can fig-" Hermione flinched backwards in the middle of her speech to avoid the trail of water (or so she assumed) that was being thrown out the window of the still standing rubble by a very old woman. "We can figure this out." she said again composing herself and checking to see if anymore unwanted objects were being thrown from the roofs.
"And what exactly do you have in mind?" asked Ron moodily.
"Well-" Hermione again flinched at the sound of a door being opened loudly. The grouped turned to see another old man coming from inside the old graffitied buildings. The few white hairs that remained on his scalp were slicked back, and he wore an open Hawaiian button down shirt and short khaki shorts. He paused when he seen the four young adults.
"You are American?" he asked slowly pointing at them.
"Um, British sir," braved Hermione taking a step forward.
"I love America!" he said again slowly, ignoring Hermione's tries to correct him. "Jah, we just get Miami Vize on the television! 'Ey man Miami Vize number one new show, eh?" he finished twirling the bicycle seat in his hand to imitate a gun.
Harry chuckled uncomfortably, "Right, well we're trying to get to Berlin, Germany. D'you know of any trains that'll come through here any time soon?"
"Oh yes very soon," said the man pointing toward an abandoned building that look like a bulldozer had been through, "they are building it now." Harry scratched the back of his head as the man walked over to a bike leaning against a wooden post and popped the seat on, "Enjoy Bratislava," he said as he climbed on the bike, "it's good you cam in summer, in winter it can be very grim and depressing... makes our city look like abandoned rubble and trashy and what not."
The group watched as he rode off down the street and out of site.
"Alright we can handle this." said Hermione optimistically looking between the boys. "Okay how much money do we have?" Everyone started digging in their pockets, Harry pulled out some coins which turned out to be sickles along with Hermione, while Neville took his shoe off and dumped out some coins from within. "I've got three galleons." he said dropping his shoe back to the ground. Harry looked from his shoe back up to him. "Krammer's travel tip," he said innocently. Hermione then turned to Ron who was standing still, arms folded.
"I don't have anything." he said when Hermione's hand gestured for the money. Hermione glared at him and slapped him across the chest.
"Don't make me hex you."
"What I got noth- fine..." he relented as she fished for her wand in her back pocket. He pulled out three knuts from his front pockets and a galleon from his back.
Hermione started sorting the coins out on her hand. "We have 3 knuts, 11 sickles, and 4 galleons of wizard money. What the hell are we going to get with that?" she asked rhetorically throwing a hand in the air.
... 3 knuts, 11 sickles, 4 galleons and the fanciest hotel in Bratislava later...
Hermione was resting on the large sofa in a luxurious bathrobe, letting the paint on her toes dry when five men in penguin suits marched into the room carrying huge plates full of delicious smelling food and beverages. Ron smiled from his spot in front of the mirror as he tried on an brilliant looking dragon hide jackets at his leisure.
"This day just gets better and better." he said following the men and sitting down at the table where the plate in front of him started filling itself of the food he desired.
"Who woulda thought that Bratislava was a magical community?" asked Hermione casually from the couch.
"Who woulda thought that we could get what we got with the amount of money we had," piped in Harry who was sitting in a fancy massage chair that was charmed to give the perfect massage based on the person.
"Yeah... gotta love that exchange rate."
Harry smiled at her before looking over to Neville who was sitting on a similar sofa with a green mud mask on his face, surrounded by men in penguin outfits, "How ya doin' Nev?" Neville finished pointing out his selection of clothing to the men and responded, "I could get used to this."
"Would ze master like anzething else?" one man asked Ron who was laying back in his cushioned chair having just finished his second full plate.
"I think I'm good, thanks." he replied flipping a coin to the man. The man looked amazed as he caught it and held it up to the light.
"Ah! A knut!" he gasped, turning to what must have been his boss because he was the only one not wearing a penguin suit. He waved the coin in front of his face, "You see zis? I quit," SLAP, "I open my own hotel vith zis." he smiled and skipped out of the room, leaving his boss holding his cheek and staring after him.
Harry smiled the man and shrugged, "So we got five sickles and two knuts left. What is there to do in this town?"
...
Ron, Neville, and Harry walked into the vast room and were suddenly met with loud pounding techno music and an array of flashing neon lights (Big surprise there...). There was a bar to their left which looked like drinks were being served over multi-coloured fire. A short man with a very long pink mohawk was floating in the center of the room. He looked like the DJ according the boxes surrounding him, the head phones draped around his neck, and how he would swish his wand back and forth over the speakers making the beats either slower, louder, less, etc. Along with the music were people bobbing up and down to the beat, looking absolutely piss drunk already. Random cages were also just hanging in the air with sloshed people dancing inside them.
"This is amazing," yelled Neville to the other two.
"Why'd we have to go on this bloody trip right when I've found the girl of my dreams? Couldn't we have done this a year ago, when I had nothing to loose and would have been able to fool around?" Ron asked tearing his gaze away from the various girls who were dancing there life away in outfits that left little to imagine.
Harry just laughed at the him. "Yeah Ron, this definitely sucks for you. We'll understand if you want to just go back to the room and drown away your sorrows in food and quidditch magazines."
Ron scoffed at him, "What are talking about Mr. I'm-not-gonna-get-a-girl-tonight-because-the-girl-I-like-is-my-best-mate-and-I'm-too-scared-to-do-anything-about-it. You'll probably be back to the room before me."
"No I won't." said Harry defiantly.
Ron smiled at him, "Prove it then," he said spreading his arms out, gesturing to the many women in the room who were basically waiting to be taken advantage of. Harry continued to frown at his best mate before he said, "I'm going to get a drink."
A few minutes had past and Harry was working on his third glass of a new drink called Horntail's Breath before someone came and tapped him from behind and whispered in his ear, "Hey good looking, care to buy me a drink?"
Harry nearly choked to death on the sip he was taking and quickly spun around to see who belonged to the sexy voice that was just so close to his ear. Good thing he already swallowed.
"Hermione?!" he gasped, looking at her up and down. Hermione stood behind him smiling down at him. She was wearing a loose thin white halter along with slimming hip-hugger jeans and black stilettos. Her hair fell lazily past her shoulders in soft ringlets that became natural for her nowadays. Her face 'oh that face...' wore barely any makeup, maybe a little mascara but that was it. He continued to look at her, his eyes wide and mouth open.
"Harry? Are you going to just stare at me all night or make a move and buy me a drink?"
"Oh, y-yeah," he stuttered at her turning around and allowing her to sit with him at the bar.
"I'll take what he has," she told the wizard who was bartending. He nodded and snapped his fingers so that a cup with glowing amber liquid would appear in front of her. She took a sip as Harry continued to stare at her.
"Harry, its no fun if I'm the only one drinking." She said giving him a sincere smile. He tore his gaze away immediately and emptied the contents of his cup in one gulp. Slamming it down on the counter, it instantly refilled itself.
"Whoa easy there tiger, I was only teasing you." laughed Hermione at his eagerness. Harry smiled and looked back into her eyes, which made him start to fidget around in his seat.
"Um, you look... er... good." he finally stuttered out. Hermione let out a laugh as Harry silently closed his eyes and shook his head, 'God your an idiot, Potter.'
"Well thank you... that's better than what I got from Ron. Me actually looking like a girl never seizes to amaze him."
"Ron's an idiot. I don't think he'll ever see past you being his little sister."
"Yeah, I think I can handle that," she said downing her second glass of Horntail's. "And you Harry? What do you see me as?" she asked staring into his eyes and not blinking once, quiet enough for only him to hear.
'Was I imagining that, or did she really just ask me what I thought of her?'
"Your my best friend." he said just as quietly, also not blinking.
'ID-I-OT... how the hell do you call yourself a gryffindor?'
She raised her eyebrows at him, daring him to go on.
'Is it just me or did her eyes just suddenly become darker... hmm... it's sexy...'
"Your my best friend in the whole wide world, 'Mione." he whispered again, still caught in a staring battle with those never ending orbs. They unconsciously drifted closer to one another, still staring fiercely between themselves, not noticing anything around them.
"And?" she egged on. Now they were barely an inch apart. Her eyes started to flutter close.
"And I think I'm fa-"
"HARRY! HERMIONE?!" shouted a voice from somewhere in the crowd making the two dart apart immediately. Harry sighed impatiently and clapped a hand to his face, rubbing underneath his glasses in frustration. Hermione turned around to see who had interrupted them.
"Oh there you are!" yelled Ron over the throbbing music. "Guess what we found!" he said with excitement, both him and Neville coming up behind them. "Hey what's wrong with Harry?"
"Nothing," answered Hermione, "so what'd you find?"
In answer Ron brought a neon blue bottle from behind his back and slammed it down in front of them. Hermione studied the bottle for a moment before turning back to them confused.
"What's this?"
"This," said Ron proudly, "is Escada!"
"Krammer says it's illegal in our country because it makes people hallucinate and go crazy!" said Neville with just as much enthusiasm.
"Okay and we would want this because?" Hermione said her brow now furrowed.
"Because, Hermione they call this 'the blue fairy'... this nights going to be crazy-amazing now that we have this. It makes you forget your troubles and leads you to believe you're in a state of paradise; hence 'Escada'," he said matter-of-factly like it was the most obvious answer in the world. Harry's head was now looking directly at the bottle.
"Did you get it from the bar?" Hermione asked, her eyes also resting on the alluring bottle.
"No- I stole it." said Ron with sarcastically take the bottle in one hand and tapping the top of it with his wand in the other. "Now will you quit being little Miss Prefect and take a drink, you want some Harry?" he finished, pouring even amounts into four glasses that the bartender had serviced them with. Harry merely nodded mutely and took a glass into hand.
When everyone had a glass, Hermione looked cautiously between all three of her friends. "Well, here goes nothing."
Within the time spand of two seconds the silky blue liquid had traveled down her throat and pounded down to her stomach. They all slammed their glass down at the same time and waited a few moments for something spontaneously crazy and terrific to happen.
"I gotta say I'm not feeling anything," said Neville looking around to see the others reactions.
"Me neither," replied Harry looking into the cup to see if he missed any.
"This doesn't feel illegal, or like liquid paradise," added Hermione, who was just sitting there staring into the distance.
"Sober as a Percy," Ron sighed. "What about you?" he asked to the glowing blue fairy that had plopped down on his shoulder.
"I'm not feeling a goddamn thing. This Escada is bullshit."
"I hear ya mate."
"So..." Neville began looking at everyone, "who's up for round two?"
...
"Come On Everybody
Get Loose Tonight
Throw A Hand In The Air
If Ya Feelin Aiight
We Don't Care If Ya Stare
Cause The Music Is Tight
Lemme Hear You Say YEAH
So We Can Do This Right"
The spontaneous craziness started after their second round of drinks.
And it was the fastest four and a half minutes of their lives.
The four were currently situated in the center of the dance floor, now each had their own bottle of Escada, and were jumping, grinding, and all together dancing like crazy people. Ron had jumped onto Harry's back, careful to not spill his now half empty bottle of goods, and was being spun around like a never ending horizontal faris wheel.
The next thing they knew all four were trapped in one of the floating cages. Hermione, not realizing that she was floating twelve feet, in the air started doing the robot with Ron and Neville, while Harry collapsed to the ground in hysteria holding his stomach.
When they had safely returned to the ground they all started dancing on the once shy and bashful Neville.
"I LOVE EASTERN EUROPE!!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, throwing his empty bottle into the distance.
"EUROPE!!!!"
...
Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat together, at a table farthest away from the bar. Another barmaid with French braids came by and put more full bottles on the table. The three just sat there staring at them before Hermione spoke up, "Bottles are meant to be drunk right?" she said shrugging and grabbing for one.
Ron let out a loud belch when he was finished chugging the strange liquid. "Tomorrow...Berlin!" he stated slowly resting his hands on the table.
Harry and Hermione shared a laugh at him before both glancing out into the crowd.
"Will you look at that," muttered Hermione, nudging both drowsing boys on either side of her. Harry swiped a hand over his face before following Hermione's gaze. His face dropped.
"Neville's hooking up with another girl?"
"What?!" shouted Ron, following to the spot where Neville had a girl with silverish blonde hair pinned up against one of the beams, their lips locked.
"Oh they don't look like their going anywhere." said Harry with a large grin spreading over his open mouth.
"To right of you Neville!" shouted Ron slamming a hand on the table. "I'm proud of da lil' booger. First Gabrielle," he said all eyes drifting back to Neville who was now being walked around on the floor by the girl, their lips still together. "And now..." the trio watched as the seemingly woman changed shapes to an extremely short person with balding hair and a lump on her back. Neville and her lips broke apart giving them a proper look at her face, "Oh my god!" they all said together, Ron falling off his stool. Neville stood there a moment before finally opening his eyes and looking down to the girls face. He screamed and fell backwards as he seen a old and wrinkled face staring back at him wearing a grin with only three teeth poking out and with multiple warts and hairy moles all over.
"Poor bloke," muttered Hermione as Neville continued to scream on the floor, wiping his tongue on the sleeve of his dress shirt.
"He just can't catch a break," added Harry taking a swig out of the bottle.
"First Gabrielle, and now a hag. It's like one step forward and two steps back with him." replied Ron with a pitiful tone.
"That was more like a few million steps back," said Hermione.
"If this is Neville's paradise, then I don't want to know what his hell would be like."
"Probably orange juice commercials with naked lesbians..."
"Poor bloke."
...
Hey guys,
Sorry it's been so long. We're hitting our highest peak in the market and my job has kinda been draining my energy. (I haven't been drunk or partied since St. Patty's Day!) But I think this chapter turned out okay. I've had it written for a while just not posted… I started to get a little unmotivated because I think I'm starting to follow too closely to the movie. But don't worry! Originality is coming! And so is some goody H/Hr interaction next chapter. And I mean inter-interaction ;]
Thanks for reading!
-oliver