Unofficial Portkey Archive

Harry Potter and the Gilded Portrait - Part Three

Standard Disclaimers Apply…

Chapter Thirty - Lessons Learned

The new school term started with all the subtly of a raging tsunami for Hermione. Balancing a full class schedule with her Head Girl duties was difficult but not unmanageable yet. She knew that was subject to change in a moment's notice.

During her time patrolling the mostly silent corridors and hallways she thought about Harry and found herself missing him so badly sometimes it was physically painful. This separation was going to test her resolve like never before.

She had never been so attached to anyone outside her family so strongly before so it was difficult to deal with at times. Loneliness seemed to follow her wherever she went even when she found herself in a classroom full of people she had known for years.

It just wasn't the same without him, the hole that resided inside her nothing but a blank void. The more she tried to bury herself in her studies the more acute it seemed to become.

As Hermione turned the corner of the hallway leading down to the Slytherin dorm, she spotted Draco Malfoy going the other way.

She stiffened. They had heard practically nothing from him since term started with the exception of that ridiculous duel Ron had with him on the Hogwarts Express but that hadn't been his fault.

As she approached him, she decided to handle the situation just as she would any other student breaking the rules so she quelled any indignation she might be feeling towards him.

"Draco," she called out.

Even though Hermione had decided to exercise impartiality, she wasn't stupid. She held her wand down next to her leg, hidden in the folds of her cloak.

Draco froze mid-stride and stood still without turning around to face her.

"You know you're not supposed to be out in the halls at this hour. Surly I don't have to recite Hogwarts rules and regulations to you, do I?"

Draco still did not turn, but Hermione could see both his hands. They were wand free. He simply stood there, head slightly bowed and shoulders slumped. It was an odd look for someone who was once so arrogant and proud. If Hermione didn't know him so well she would have thought him to look a bit sad.

Most everyone knew by now he had spent several months locked up in Azkaban prison for the roll he played in letting the Death Eaters into Hogwarts. It would have been much longer if Harry had not spoken on his behalf at his trial, which angered Ron to no end. She had no opinion on Harry's motives one way or the other.

According to the Daily Prophet, Draco had been required to return to Hogwarts as a part of his punishment. His mother wanted to transfer him to Durmstrang for obvious reasons.

"Couldn't sleep," was Draco's mumbled reply.

"Be that as it may," Hermione said evenly, not taking her eyes from his back, "I can't have you out and about. Please return to the dorm or I'll be forced to give you detention."

He turned slowly but still didn't look at her.

"Bet that would make your day, wouldn't it?"

Hermione had to think about that for a moment.

"No, actually," she answered truthfully, "It wouldn't. You see, Draco, unlike most others I'm not the vindictive type. I don't go round looking for vengeance. As Head Girl it is my duty to administer rules and keep students in line, nothing more."

Draco glanced at her then as if trying to decide if she was being honest or not. He seemed to deflate even further as he turned to go back toward the Slytherin dorm.

This surprised Hermione. She was fully expecting a fight, or at least a heated exchange of barbed comments.

Things have changed!

Just before he reached the entrance, curiosity got the better of her.

"What was it like, Draco?" Hermione asked cryptically. Her voice was soft, almost a whisper. There was no malice or condemnation in it.

Draco stopped. This time he looked at her, but could not hold her eyes.

"What was what like?"

"A…Azkaban," She wasn't sure why she was asking. She wasn't sure she even cared to know.

Draco's face seemed to darken but his resigned appearance didn't change. It was as if he was struggling with some kind of internal dilemma. His face then crumpled into a sneer.

"Why do you want to know Granger? Would it get you off to hear about my suffering and pain?"

Hermione kept her temper even. She would not allow Draco the satisfaction of knowing he could get to her, not anymore. She had changed and come to terms with many emotions over the past months. She felt she had risen above the need to punch ferret-faced little gits in the nose.

"Ahh, now there's that warm and friendly Malfoy disposition we've all come to know and dislike."

She smiled at him sweetly as she turned to continue her rounds. As she made her way to the end of the hall, she heard him speak.

"It was like living in a nightmare…one that I couldn't wake up from."

Hermione stopped and turned back to face him. She considered his words for a moment.

I know the feeling well…

"I'm sorry you had to experience that Draco. I really am."

"I don't need or want your sympathy…" Draco spit.

"Don't misinterpret regret for sympathy," Hermione said flatly, "Make no mistake. I have none for you. You completely brought everything that has happened to you on yourself. However, I take no satisfaction from the price you've had to pay for your lack of judgment. Keep in mind, Draco it could have been much, much worse."

"Worse!" Draco stiffened.

"Yes," Hermione said calmly, "If your mother had not betrayed Voldemort and spared Harry's life that night in the forest you would have more than likely been made to walk the vale."

Draco seemed to be turning her words over in his mind.

"If my mother hadn't betrayed the Dark Lord we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. You'd be in a dungeon in chains somewhere or dead."

Inwardly Hermione cringed but she showed no emotion.

"Perhaps you're right but do you really believe that what your mother did changed the outcome of the entire conflict?" Hermione took a few steps toward him.

"Believe me Draco, no-one is more grateful for what your mother did for Harry than I am and I supported his decision to speak on your behalf at your trial but even I don't believe what happened at that moment was the deciding factor in this conflict. There were just too many of us who wanted to live and to be free to ever just roll over and lay dead. Get what I'm saying?"

Draco said nothing.

Thoughts and theories rushed to the front of Hermione's mind all at once.

"Did you ever ask yourself why Voldemort could never destroy Harry? Did it ever occur to you why just about every plan Voldemort made failed in its execution?"

Again, Draco stood silently. It was as if he was reluctant to interrupt her.

"It certainly wasn't because our side was stronger or cleverer. It was because, like you, Voldemort brought the whole thing upon himself. He was the architect of his own demise and the fact that he never trusted those he surrounded himself with."

That brought a look of surprise to Draco's face.

He doesn't understand. He believes that we were the ones who got in the way of Voldemort's plans. Not surprising. Supreme, self-serving superiority is like that.

"It all goes back to when Snape told Voldemort of the prophecy he overheard Trelawney spit out the night Dumbledore interviewed her for the position of Divinations Professor all those years ago."

"Voldemort thought Harry's parents had given birth to some…great and powerful warrior wizard that would grow up to destroy him. The amusing part is that he was completely wrong! Harry was just a normal baby and if Voldemort would have done nothing, Harry would have grown up just another normal child and would have posed no threat to anyone…probably."

She wasn't exactly convinced of that herself but she pressed on. She was on a roll.

"But Voldemort, in his supreme arrogance, sought to destroy Harry before he had a chance to ruin his plans of world conquest. In so doing, he marked Harry as his equal, instilling in Harry the very powers he needed to destroy Voldemort when the time came. He activated an ancient magic that protected Harry thus fulfilling that barmy prophecy."

"All Voldemort's subsequent attempts to kill Harry failed…Why...Because of Voldemort's lack of knowledge not superior magical skill."

Draco continued to look at the floor but Hermione noticed that he swallowed hard as if he was trying to ingest something that tasted horribly unpleasant.

Something occurred to Hermione and she shifted tact.

"Tell me Draco, why couldn't you kill Dumbledore that night up on the Astronomy tower? You disarmed him? He was quite vulnerable."

Draco suddenly looked ill. His eyes flashed at Hermione but she continued not waiting for a response.

"You think it was because of weakness on your part, don't you? Isn't that what your lot led you to believe?"

Draco looked stricken.

"It was weakness! I couldn't do it because I was...I was…afraid…"

"Afraid of what?" Hermione asked, "I'm going to tell you something you'll refuse to believe. To me, your inability to kill Dumbledore wasn't a weakness…it was very thing that saved you."

Draco didn't respond. He clearly didn't want to continue the conversation and turned to go back in the Slytherin dorm.

"Arrogant superiority, Draco, was the whole reason why Voldemort failed!"

Draco paused.

"What do you mean by that?"

Hermione knew he was curious. She wasn't sure why she thought it was important for him to understand the truth but something inside her spurred her forward.

"Why were you in the position of facing down one of the greatest wizards of all time in the first place? It was out of fear was it not? Don't stand there and try to make me believe it was because you wanted to serve the Dark Lord. I know why you accepted your mission to smuggle Death Eaters into Hogwarts. It was because of the failures of your father. Voldemort threatened you with the death of your parents if you didn't fulfill that ridiculously flawed plan. You and your family were expendable. Do you really think Voldemort cared if you or your mother or father died serving him?"

"The plan wasn't ridiculous…It would have worked if…" Draco paused as if he was searching for the right answer.

"If there hadn't been an entire school full of students and professors that resisted and one Slytherin student who realized what he was doing was so very wrong?"

"No…" Draco whispered, "Dumbledore still died!"

"Yes, he did Draco," Hermione smiled sadly, "just as he had planned with Snape from the beginning."

Now Draco looked stunned like he had taken a bludger to the head. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"That's right. Dumbledore was dying anyway. It was from an…affliction he had acquired from something else. He used his death to keep Professor Snape in Voldemort's good books so when the time came Professor Snape could assist Harry in destroying the Dark Lord."

Hermione wasn't about to go into details about Horcruxes and Hallows with Draco. She felt she could make her point without all that besides; he didn't need to know anyway.

"Snape's loyalty to Voldemort died with Lilly Potter."

Draco's head snapped up and he glared at her wide-eyed at that bit of information.

"Yes Draco, Severus Snape was, at one time, in love with Lilly Evans-Potter. When Voldemort killed Harry's parents that night all those years ago he lost Professor Snape. As difficult as it might be for you to believe he was instrumental in helping Dumbledore's counter-plans succeed."

"NO…" Draco's face was turning red with anger, "he was trying to help me!"

"No Draco," Hermione's voice was still calm and controlled, "he was trying to keep you alive because of the Unbreakable Vow he entered into with your mother while trying to make sure Harry succeeded. Oh believe me, Professor Snape didn't like the idea of helping Harry anymore than you liked the idea of killing the greatest wizard of all time. The thought of saving James Potter's offspring didn't set well with him at all…but he did it because he was loyal to Albus Dumbledore."

Draco looked as if his entire world was crashing in ruins at his feet. How could she know these things? He couldn't believe it but he could not deny the things she said. It still didn't make it easier for him to hear.

"Why are you telling me this?"

Hermione considered that again.

"Because I'm trying to help you see the truth."

"All your life you've been told things like honesty, bravery, compassion, tolerance, hope and love were weaknesses. You were told domination and control by hate and fear were the strengths needed to get you what you wanted. That was a lie. Surely even you can see that, yes?"

"No-one can maintain control of others by fear for very long. Not even someone like Voldemort. Fear of something or someone is not enough. After a time, people become weary of fear and strike back no matter what the cost because even death becomes an acceptable price for freedom."

"The reason why Harry Potter succeeded against Voldemort had less to do with fate and a barmy prophecy and more to do with knowledge of the enemy and simple preparation. Dumbledore was almost always one step ahead of the Dark Lord so even if he happened to kill Harry, he still would have failed. Not because Voldemort was weak but because he was so predictable."

"There were simply too many of us that wanted to succeed so we rallied around Harry to help him. We didn't do it because we had to or because he was the bloody Boy Who Lived or the Chosen One, we did it because it was the right thing to do and it was our choice to do so. It was even Harry's choice to do what he did. He didn't have to."

Something else occurred to Hermione about the freedom of choice and it suddenly made her blood run cold.

"Harry told me once the Sorting Hat gave him a choice when he was first sorted. I wasn't sure I understood the implications of such a thing then but since have discovered just how important that decision was. If you remember, the hat's first choice for Harry was Slytherin House."

Draco seemed to remember. He nodded. Hermione saw that he was deep in thought, considering everything she was telling him no matter how distasteful. That gave her hope.

"So I guess what I'm saying is we all made choices that effected the outcome of this conflict. I've been stunned, cursed, tortured at the hands of that spell damaged Aunt of yours, ostracized, insulted, and run out of two different worlds at one time or another…but would do it all again if it was necessary to have a life of peace without fear."

"That's the difference between you and I Draco. We were taught to value very different things. That's not really either of our fault, is it?"

She fell silent for a moment and considered what life would have been like if Harry Potter had decided to go to Slytherin House. It was unthinkable but she knew the outcome would have been no different. He was too pure and too much like Sirius to be swayed by evil.

"I'm not going to pretend you and I could ever be friends. There's just too much that has happened between us to be put aside. I'm not quite that forgetful or forgiving I'm afraid. I won't lie."

"But it doesn't mean I would want you to suffer for your mistakes for the rest of your life. I just want you to think about what I've said and try to understand you may have been misled. It's not because you chose to believe what you were told but because I believe you knew the difference between what was right and wrong when it counted and that makes you better than Voldemort. He was a madman convinced of his own self-importance and invincibility."

"Guess what…he was wrong as well." Hermione looked at her shoes for a moment then glanced back up at him. Draco Malfoy looked completely wrung out.

"I think that's why Harry asked Voldemort to show a little remorse that night in the Great Hall. He was giving him one final chance to change. Not bad for a seventeen year old under-achiever in his cousin's hand-me-down trousers and trainers held together more by habit than anything."

Hermione realized she had spent too much time talking and was falling behind in her duties.

"Well," she said matter-of-factly, "I think I've lectured you quite enough for one evening. I'll expect three feet of parchment on what we've discussed tonight on my desk first thing in the morning or it will mean detention and ten points from Slytherin."

Draco raised an eyebrow but then a slight smirk crossed his lips as he looked at her. She was grinning as well.

Hermione turned to hurry to catch up on her rounds.

"Granger," Draco called after her.

Hermione stopped and turned back toward him, "Yes?"

"For what it's worth," he paused not sure if he wanted to finish his thought, but then said, "I'm sorry."

Hermione stood frozen in place.

"For what Draco?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't know…for everything I guess."

Hermione wasn't sure if he was being sincere or just placating her but it didn't matter. She wasn't going to belittle the importance of what she was hearing.

"Thank you Draco…that means more to me then you can possibly imagine."

She smiled and turned the corner. She heard him re-enter the dorm room as she made her way up the hallway.

For the first time in months, Hermione Granger felt she had accomplished something important. She didn't know if she had gotten through the generations of prejudice and hate but she thought by trying, instead of subjecting him to ridicule and anger, it was a much more mature position to take.

Hermione Jean Granger…you certainly are growing up!

She smiled all the way back to the Head student's dorm.

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