Unofficial Portkey Archive

Chapter Thirteen: Champagne and Roses

Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it's only right
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So Happy Together

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When your with me, baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life

(Happy Together-The Turtles)

(Hogwarts: Seventh Year)

And so the Dark Lord was defeated, the Death Eaters fled into hiding and the wizarding world rejoiced. If defeating Lord Voldemort as an infant made Harry Potter a legend, defeating him at last rendered him to a God-like status. But life wasn't all champagne and roses for the trio. They shunned the attention, stuck together like glue, avoiding the rest of the student body at Hogwarts. They sat by themselves in the great hall, the library and in their classes that they shared. They really didn't speak to each other, brooding in the mental scars that Voldemort had left them. They had spent nearly all their childhood preparing for the defeat of the dark lord and now that they had, it was like they mourned a loss.

Ron still felt the pain of the Cruciatus curse coursing through him, even though it was all in his head. The curse seemed to accentuate the damage caused by the brains during his fifth year. He suffered from insomnia, painful memories and thoughts kept him awake and no amount of Dreamless Sleep potion could help him. Dumbledore said the only cure would be time.

Hermione had terrible nightmares and often woke up screaming. She dreamt that Voldemort still had her in his arms, should could still feel his touch and kiss. She flinched whenever someone touched her, to offer her comfort or a mere accidental brush. She kept quiet, not speaking much, her grades slipping. Thankfully, she was so far ahead of the class it really made no difference in her marks, but her teachers, especially McGonagall, were concerned. Dumbledore's heart nearly broke when she came to him in tears, begging him for a pensieve to relieve herself of a particular memory, then smash the bowl into a million pieces. He told her, too, that time would heal her wounds. He called in a specialist from St. Mungos to talk with Hermione twice a week at school, using the upmost discretion.

Dumbledore especially worried about Harry. Of the three, Harry was the one who had least changed. He still stayed with his two best friends, still kept apart from the other students, still studied and attended classes, giving Professor Snape a hard time. The thing that worried Dumbledore was how Harry was channeling his feelings. Harry still demanded Occlumency lessons and Snape had reported to him that on more than one occasion he fell victim to a painful hex when he even attempted to penetrate Potter's mind. Harry stepped up his DADA training, stepped up the DA, every morning he could be seen running laps around the school grounds and the room of requirement became Harry's personal training ground. He never spoke to Dumbledore about what happened that Christmas.

Then the unthinkable happened.

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Hermione walked to the lake after seeing her boyfriend standing alone by the shore. Grey storm clouds could be seen rolling in. The distant sound of the thunder's rumbling announced its impending arrival. A small breeze blew a few strands of hair in her face which she gently brushed away.

"Hello Harry," she said gently as she approached him. He turned to look at her.

"Hey Hermione," he replied quietly, a sad look on his face.

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

Harry sighed and took his eyes off of the horizon, putting his hands in his pockets he stared at the ground, scraping one shoe on the pebbly ground. This was going to be the hardest thing he'd ever had to do in his life.

"Hermione," he began, desperately trying to find his courage, "I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Hermione stepped closer to him. "What?" she asked quietly, praying that she didn't hear him right.

"I think we should break up," Harry said softly, raising his head to look at the clouds rolling in.

Hermione stood there in momentary shock. She could see sprinkles of rain landing on the lake surface creating circles that radiated out.

"Why?" she whispered.

Harry still couldn't look at her. "Too much has happened…" he began but she cut him off.

"I know why you're doing this. You're trying to push me away."

"The Death Eaters are still in hiding and…"

"Don't do this Harry," Hermione's voice began to break.

"I'm sorry Hermione." He turned to look at her one last time.

"No, Harry, you don't mean this." Tears began to fall down her face as the rain began to softly fall from the sky. Harry began to walk away. "Harry," she called after him. "Harry!" her voice began to rise in anger and she ran after him. She grabbed his arm and yanked it to make him turn around and look at her. "You just have to be miserable, don't you? You don't want any happiness in your life so you want to be miserable and make everyone close to you suffer." Harry didn't say anything back he just closed his eyes, sighed, opened them up and still not looking at her, he walked away again. "Don't you walk away from me! You are nothing but a coward!" she yanked him around again and shoved him in the chest. "A coward, Harry Potter! A stupid coward!" She began to hit him in the chest. "I hate you! I HATE YOU! I hate you…" she sobbed over and over again.

Harry's resolve broke. "Hermione," he said painfully as he wrapped his arms around her.

"NO!" She broke free of his embrace. "Don't you touch me! Stay the hell away from me! It's over like you said. IT'S OVER!"

The rain really began to fall now. Harry lowered his head in defeat and slowly walked away.

"Wait I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" she called out and ran after him. "Please stop, Harry!" But he kept walking away. "You don't mean this! Please don't do this, Harry, please don't," she pleaded. Harry's insides wrenched as he heard her pleas but he kept his resolve and walked away from her. Hermione collapsed to the ground in tears as the rain fell all around her.

He didn't return to the common room for some time. He had stayed hidden in one of the towers of the castle, lost in his own grief. He was beginning to have second thoughts about what he had done. He missed her terribly. A part of him was missing. He shut his eyes at the painful memory of her sighs, her caresses, the way she would look up at him, eyes full of desire as they made love. He had skipped dinner, he didn't feel hungry anyway. He finally made his way back to the common room after midnight. It was a long walk, he didn't know what to expect when he walked through that door. Would she be there? Could he handle seeing her again? The portrait swung open for him and he stepped through. The common room was empty except for one person. Ron sat on an armchair, leaning forward, forearms resting on his thighs, hands clasped together as he stared into the fire. He stood up as soon as he saw Harry walk in.

"Listen, Ron," Harry sighed as his friend approached him, a murderous look on his face. He really didn't want to deal with this right now.

Ron stopped in front of his friend, trying to put the words together that he wished to convey. He gave up though, scrunched his hand into a fist and punched Harry hard across the jaw. Harry's head jerked violently to the side, his body falling to the floor. Ron had knocked him out cold.

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The summer breeze wafted through the windows of the library bringing with it the promise of summer, sunshine and the end of the school year. Hermione sat with Neville at the end of a long table, hunched over her book and once in awhile scribbling a note down on a piece of parchment. Neville sighed with frustration, his hair sticking out at odd ends from relentless running of his fingers through it.

"I'm going to fail," he said miserable.

"Of course you won't," Hermione mumbled.

"We've been at this for over two hours. My head feels like it's going to explode."

"You're going to do fine Neville. Remember, Snape isn't the one presiding over the NEWTs," Hermione assured.

There were only three Gryffindors crazy enough to take the NEWT in potions: Hermione, Neville and Harry. Of course, seeing as they broke up two months ago, Harry was not with Hermione and Neville studying. He was in the library though. He sat at a table by himself as far away as possible from the other two. Hermione was well aware of his presence. They had managed to avoid each other throughout the school, seeing each other only in classes and in meetings with the prefects. She never saw him in the common room at night, who knows where he was. But she missed him terribly. She missed the feel of his arms around her, his smell, his touch, his kisses. She walked around school with a dull ache in her. Her stomach would tie up in knots whenever she saw him in their classes together and it took all the strength she had not to break down and cry.

Ron was furious at Harry and didn't speak to him for two weeks. She had run into Ron right after Harry had broken things off. The next morning she saw Harry come to class with a very large bruise on his cheek and Ron with suspiciously bruised knuckles. He hung around Hermione mostly, playing an occasional game of Wizard's chess with Harry. She never asked Ron how Harry was and she doubted that Harry asked about her. Ron did feel uncomfortable at times, feeling like a child of divorced parents. But he channeled his frustration into his blossoming love life with Luna Lovegood. His last weeks at Hogwarts were bittersweet. He was glad to be graduating soon but sad because he would miss Luna terribly, for she still had a year to go.

He walked into the common room after walking Luna to the Ravenclaw portrait, and saw his best friend sitting on the couch, staring into the fire.

"It's after hours, Weasley, I could take points away," she chided him. Ron grinned and walked to his friend.

"But you won't," he smiled at her.

She laughed but he could still see the sadness in her eyes. He sat down next to her. "How are you doing?" he asked her.

"I'm fine, Ron. Really," she emphasized at the end seeing the look of doubt on her friends face. He sighed and nodded. She leaned against him and together they watched the fire for a few moments.

"I'm really going to miss this place," he sighed.

"Miss this place or Ms. Lovegood?" Hermione smiled.

"Both of course," Ron said whistfully. "I have so many memories of this place. The friends we made, the adventures."

"The trouble we got into?" Hermione finished for him and he laughed.

"God, we've had quite a year."

They sat in silence for a few moments, staring into the fire until Ron heard a small sniffle.

"Oh, Hermione," he sighed as he slid off the sofa and kneeled in front of his friend.

"I can't help it Ron," she sobbed softly. "I miss him so much. I love him and I hate him."

"Shh, it's okay," Ron soothed as he gathered her into his arms.

"If only he'd show some sign that he was as miserable as I am. I wish I could get away but I can't. I want to be an auror and we're going to be training together. I don't know how I'm going to do it," she cried into his arms.

"You will, Hermione. You're the strongest person I know, you will get over this," Ron said quietly.

"Will I? It just seems to get worse and worse as the days go by. I hate getting up in the morning, I hate having to face a new day without him, I hate having to put on a brave face and pretend that all is well with me because it's not Ron! I'm not well at all!"

"But you do get up everyday, you do face a new day without him. That means you are strong Hermione, you are the strongest person I know. You will get over this someday, I know you will. Harry is a stupid prat for letting you go. But you can't let his stupid mistake ruin your life, you're better than this."

He hugged Hermione and held her until her sobs eventually subsided and the fire began to get dimmer. She looked up at him and smiled.

"Thank you, Ron," she said quietly.

"Anytime, Hermione," he smiled at her as they both rose to their feet. He walked her to the foot of the stairs.

"Goodnight," she whispered and kissed him on the cheek.

"Night, Hermione," he whispered back. He watched her as she walked up the stairs to her room and waited until he heard her door shut. Then, he drew out his wand and turned around.

"Accio invisibility cloak," he spoke out to the empty room. He heard someone cursing and a cloak flew into his hands.

Harry had been a complete wreck these past couple of months. He never showed it on the outside but inside he was screaming. He was a complete idiot! So stupid! He had the greatest girl on the planet, the greatest thing going for him and he threw it all away. He had received a verbal lashing in the form of a howler from Sirius and his best friend knocked him out cold. When Ron finally was on speaking terms with him, Harry lacked the nerve to ask him how Hermione was doing. She was right, he was a coward. He watched her from afar everyday, longing for her, wishing she would say at least one word to him. Gods, he missed her, loved her, longed for her, desired for her. With each passing day without her, he grew more aware of her presence, her every move began to drive him mad with desire. He longed for her words of comfort, he longed for her arms to wrap around him, longed for her kisses. He tried to stay away from her but found that it was worse. So he had to content himself by watching her from afar, working up the nerve to approach her again. If only she would give some sign that she still loved him, that she was as miserable as he was. He would never take her for granted again, he would cherish her and every moment they would spend together. He watched her that night as she sat in front of the fire, longing to touch her, to hold her once more. His thoughts were interrupted when his best friend walked into the room. He was so jealous of him. Jealous that she would still laugh and talk with him, but most of all it drove him insanely jealous that Ron got to hold her and he didn't. He couldn't take it anymore. He was about to leave when Hermione's sobs and confession of her love stopped him in his tracks. She did still love him as much as he loved her. She was as miserable as he was. It took all of his willpower not to reveal himself standing there, watching them. But his friend relieved him of that burden when the invisibility cloak went flying into his hand.

Ron walked up to his best friend, who was standing there like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar. He handed the cloak back to him.

"You two really need to get your shit together," he sighed, then walked up to the dorms to get to sleep.

Harry plopped down onto the sofa and sighed. His friend was right. He really needed to pull himself together. He sighed and placed his cloak next to him and his hand his something hard. He looked down. Then his eyes opened wide with horror. He had put his cloak over a large hardcover book. His heart began to race and he swallowed hard. With trembling hands he lifted the book and turned it over.

FUUUUUCK!!!!!!!

Hogwarts: A History

"How long had you been standing there, Harry?" a soft voice asked.

Harry spun around. Hermione stood at the foot of the stairs, her hair up in a loose ponytail, her baby blue flannel pajamas bore a pattern of white clouds on them. His chance had come.

She watched as Harry strode over to her. Her heart pounded in her chest. This was the first time they had spoken to each other, let alone be in a room alone with each other.

"Did you know that I'm insanely jealous of our best friend?" he said in a low voice as he handed the book back to her.

"You did that to yourself," she whispered back. His presence so close to hers sent her heart racing.

"I'm an idiot. You should know that after all these years," he smiled at her. She smiled back and let out a small laugh. He bravely sought out her hand and held it in his. He spoke softly, his voice barely a whisper.

"When I defeated Voldemort, his voice spoke out in my head," he began and Hermione looked at him in concern. "He said that, even though I would kill him tonight, someone else would come and take his place. Get his revenge."

"Oh, Harry," she sighed and placed her hand tenderly on his cheek.

"I have the image of him…holding you, in my head. I replay it all the time. If you were to get hurt again, if I put you in that position again…"

"Shh, stop," Hermione silenced him with her finger to his lips. A tear fell down her face.

"Harry, I don't want us to live with that thought hanging over our heads. If we do, everything we fought so hard for would become meaningless."

Harry collapsed into her arms, releasing his grief in the form of tears. They held each other all night and fell asleep on the sofa. The next morning, Hermione woke up very early and found herself alone in the common room.

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Hermione looked through the telescope then charted another star on a piece of parchment. She and her other classmates were taking their Astronomy NEWT. She paused a moment, feeling someone watching her. She looked up and saw his green eyes staring at her. She gave him a smile and he smiled back then he looked down to scribble something on his parchment. They had been like this for the last two days. Not really talking to each other but acknowledging each others presence with a smile. She would stare at him in their classes then when he looked up at her, she would look away only to feel his gaze burn into her.

"Time!" the examiner called out. "Please put down your quills and wait for me to go around and collect your parchments."

Hermione put her books away and sighed. Harry was nowhere to be seen. She was walking down the stairs when, suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around her and yanked her into the darkness.

"Harry! What are you doing?" she whispered.

"Shh!" he whispered back, his finger lingering on her lips.

They waited in silence as the last remaining students left, then a few more moments later the examiner followed. Harry waited a few more moments to make sure they were absolutely alone. Hermione finally got impatient and shrugged out of his embrace.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked him.

Millions of stars twinkled above her as a warm breeze blew a strand of hair across her face. Harry reached her in two steps, wrapping his arms around her and crashing his lips down on hers. Hermione let out a small whimper as he backed them up to a wall, pinning her against it.

"I don't want to go another day without you in my arms," he told her as he kissed her neck.

She hungrily responded to kisses, quickly loosening his tie and working on the buttons of his shirt. His hands caressed her everywhere and she sighed, missing his touch. Harry wanted to treasure this moment, take it slow and savor every moment of it. But he needed her just as badly as she needed him. She kissed his chest and neck as she worked on his belt buckle. She brought her lips back up to his.

"Don't do it again, Harry," she whispered as a tears fell down her face. "Don't do this again."

"I won't," Harry kissed away her tears. "I promise I won't." He whispered as they both slid to the floor.

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