Chapter Eighteen: Season's Change
I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
(All I want for Christmas Is You-Mariah Carey)
Harry and Hermione stood, facing each other. Finally, Harry lunged for her. Hermione dodged him and ran for her clutch that had her wand inside but Harry tossed it out of her reach. Harry reached for his wand but Hermione knocked it out of his hand. He took that opportunity and grabbed her wrist and yanked her to him. Her back pressed against his body as his free hand slid up the front of her dress. A familiar heat settled between Hermione's thighs as she struggled against him. Harry turned her around and pinned her against the wall, his lips grazed her neck and she let out a soft moan as she felt his hardness press against her. His eyes were dark with desire as he gazed into hers that were full of lust. Her chest heaved with deep breaths that she needed to steady herself. Her hands fell limply on his shoulders as he wrapped one of her thighs around his waist and lifted her slightly against the wall. Her skin was hot against his hand as he led it under her dress, past her waist, up her belly. Hermione inhaled sharply as his hand brushed over her breasts. He leaned down and whispered in her ear.
"Thank you, Hermione."
Hermione put her leg down as Harry moved away from her. She looked at him, puzzled, as if being shaken from a dream. Lust was still in his eyes as he grinned wickedly at her. He held up his hand triumphantly, the Mapper between his thumb and forefinger.
"Ugh! You are such a jerk!" Hermione scolded pushing him away as he laughed.
"Oh, come on, Hermione. Did you honestly think I wouldn't do that?" he said playfully.
"No gentleman would do that," Hermione said as she smoothed down her dress.
He stood in front of her. "I never really considered myself one, anyway." His voice was low and husky. "That was a little intense wasn't it?"
"I think we got a little carried away," her voice was breathy, her cheeks were still flushed. Harry noticed she hadn't moved away from him.
"Old habits die hard, don't they?" he whispered, her lips were begging to be kissed.
I'd give anything for you to kiss me. Hermione's head was swimming, he invaded her body space and she was welcoming it. "Yes, they definitely do."
Harry's arms encircled her waist as her hands wandered over his chest. They both moved in to close the gap between their lips, but just as they brushed Ginny and Neville came bursting through the door.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" Ginny blushed and turned around to walk back out. The moment was lost and Harry and Hermione stepped awkwardly away from each other.
"That's okay, Gin. I was just leaving," Harry said, walking toward the door. Hermione followed as Ginny and Neville made themselves scarce in the kitchen.
"Thank you for your help tonight," Harry said and Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Let's not start that again," she smiled and he let out a soft laugh. "Thank you for the dance."
For a split second, a pained look flashed across his eyes. A look that Hermione was very familiar with. "No, thank you," he spoke just above a whisper. "Goodnight, Hermione," he said leaning down and kissing her on the cheek. His lips lingering longer than they should, Hermione closed her eyes as she leaned into him slightly.
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The ringing of the phone rudely yanked Hermione from her slumber. She fumbled around for the receiver and groggily answered "Hullo?"
"Hermione, darling!"
"Mum?!" Hermione bolted upright in bed.
An hour later, Hermione found herself at her parents' house, crying in her mother's arms. It felt good to have them back in town. She didn't realize how much she needed them until now.
Edward Granger, Sirius Black and Harry Potter stood in the crisp afternoon air. The sky was filled with plump grey clouds ready at any moment to release rain or snow. Not ideal golf weather, but if you were fanatics like Edward and Sirius, the weather was a minor issue.
Harry putted the tiny golf ball, sinking it, giving himself a birdie on this hole.
"Good shot, Harry," Edward praised.
The Grangers had been in town for about five days after cutting their vacation in the tropics short. One morning, Edward woke up to find a familiar looking white owl pecking on his window.
"I wanted to thank you, Harry, for sending us that message. Jane and I had no idea our daughter was going through this alone," Edward said.
Sirius looked up from his swing, giving Harry a surprised look.
"It was no problem. Hermione needs all the support she can get at this difficult time," Harry avoided looking at his godfather, although he could feel his gaze burning in the back of his head.
"And I let my daughter marry that son of a bitch," Edward swung and sliced the ball. Harry and Sirius ducked.
"Uh, we won't count that one," Harry said cautiously as he placed another ball on the tee. Edward swung again, this one driving the ball in the right direction.
"I'm going to wring that little prick's neck," Edward growled.
"Well, Harry already took care of some of that for you," Sirius chimed in.
"Sirius," Harry's face reddened with embarrassment as he looked away.
Edward looked up at Sirius. "Really?"
"Broke a couple of his ribs, didn't you Harry?"
Harry still didn't look in their direction as he got into the golf cart. Edward and Sirius dumped their bags in the back and hopped in as Harry drove.
Edward patted Harry on his shoulder. "Well, it's nice to know that someone is looking out for my daughter."
*******************************
The doorbell chimed and Hermione's mother shouted, "Hermione dear, would you answer that?"
She was wearing a lovely red dress, her hair in loose curls falling past her shoulders. Her father had gotten a box at the theatre to see the Royal Ballet's production of the Nutcracker. It was a way to kick off the holiday season. It had snowed the past couple of days, blanketing London in the soft white powder. Hermione opened the door, a look of shock on her face.
"Wh…what are you doing here?" She wasn't rude, just surprised.
"Oh, Harry, darling, you made it just in time," Jane came around the corner, putting an earring in her ear. "Don't be rude, darling, let the young man in!"
Hermione snapped out of her stupor and let Harry in the house. He was dressed black slacks, dark green shirt and a black tie, his jacket hung from his arm. He looked dashing as always.
"Glad you could come, Harry," Edward joined his wife at her side. "Hope you don't mind, Hermione, but we had an extra seat in our box and Harry here told me he had never been to the ballet."
"There's a first time for everything," Harry grinned shaking Edwards hand then turning to Hermione. "You look lovely, Hermione." He bent down and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"You're not too bad yourself," Hermione beamed. The exchange between them did not go unnoticed by her parents.
"Shall we go?" Edward asked.
The theatre seats were upholstered in plush red velvet material, matching the soft carpet beneath them. Hermione looked down to the stage and gave a small gulp.
"You'll be fine, Hermione. This isn't really that high," Harry whispered in her ear.
Hermione let out a nervous laugh and a small smile. Harry grinned and handed her a program as the lights flashed then a minute later dimmed. She watched Harry from the corner of her eyes as he watched the dancers onstage. Smiling and laughing to herself when she saw him wince at the dancers en pointe. She smiled sadly and thought back to her past.
*****************FLASHBACK**********************
Hermione knew exactly what dress she wanted to wear on her wedding day. She went to the bridal shop she had visited with Luna and Ginny and picked out the dress. Ginny had tagged along with her, playing make believe again. In the dressing room, Hermione looked into the mirror and gasped at her image. Yes, she would wear this on her wedding day. She envisioned herself standing at the altar, her groom at her side. But the groom in her mind wasn't Oliver.
It was Harry.
The reality of her situation came crashing down on her. It was like she had awoken from a deep coma. She braced herself against the wall and let out a small sob. Ginny heard it and opened the dressing room curtain to reveal a bride with tears of sadness in her eyes.
Ginny sighed. "You have to talk to him, Hermione."
Harry had just gotten back from work and was walking to his flat when he saw her standing at his doorstep.
"Hermione? What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Can we talk?" she asked timidly.
"Where's Oliver? Shouldn't you be planning your wedding?" he said not hiding his bitterness.
"Please, Harry."
Harry opened the door. "I don't think so, Hermione." Then he closed the door in her face.
Hermione didn't budge. She spoke to the closed door in front of her. "I completely deserve that and a whole lot more," she sighed and continued. "I wanted to apologize to you, Harry. I have been absolutely horrible to you. I never meant those awful things I said. I was just so hurt and confused. I'm still confused, I feel so lost. Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry. I just wanted you to know." Hermione wiped away her tears and turned to walk away but the door opened. Harry stood there looking at her, then he moved aside to let her inside the room.
Harry set a cup of tea in front of Hermione, then sat in the chair opposite of her. Hermione sipped at the tea.
"We've been through a lot haven't we?" he said softly. Hermione sighed in agreement. "Do you love him, Hermione?"
Hermione thought awhile before giving her answer. "Yes. In a way, I do." Harry nodded in understanding. Hermione continued, "But this morning I pictured myself at the altar, my groom at my side. It wasn't Oliver that I saw, it was you."
Harry sighed and closed his eyes. He got up from the chair and stood by the window, looking out over the city. "What do you want, Hermione? What is it that you truly want?"
Hermione answered immediately. "I want peace, a family, love. I want to walk down the street with the man I love, not having to worry that someone will come and take it all away."
"And Oliver can give that to you?"
"You can, too. Don't you want that? Wouldn't you like to just forget about Dark wizards and Death Eaters and just be happy with someone you love?"
"Of course I do. Someday it will happen…"
"Why not now? Why can't we be happy now?"
"Hermione, the thing I was most afraid of happened. Someone I cared about very deeply was hurt. Because of me…"
"Harry I didn't mean what I said," Hermione interrupted but Harry plowed on.
"It's true though. She attacked you to get to me. I can't stop now, Hermione. I won't rest until this world is a safe place. Then I'll be happy, then I can rest."
"Harry, there will always be some sort of danger. But you have to find happiness somewhere with someone. That's what makes it all worth it. The bad guys have already won if you keep thinking the way you are. I love you, Harry."
Harry sighed and dropped his head. Hermione got up from the sofa and walked toward him. "Hermione, so much has happened between us."
She took off her engagement ring and reached for Harry's hand, placing it in it. "Marry me instead. Be with me."
Harry looked at her, longing written all over his face. He so badly wanted her, wanted to hold her, kiss her, make love to her again. She was standing in front of him, putting everything on the line, offering herself to him. He leaned into her.
The communicator on the coffee table crackled to life as Kingsley voice rang out.
"Potter, are you there? We need you down at Headquarters right away. We've caught more Death Eaters."
Harry looked back at Hermione.
"Don't go," she whispered softly. "Stay with me, be with me."
Harry had to make a choice.
Hermione let out a sob as he kissed her on her forehead. He raised her left hand and slid her engagement ring back on her finger.
"Marry Oliver, Hermione," he whispered into her ear. "I can't give you what you ask of me."
*****************END OF FLASHBACK**********************
The sound of applause snapped Hermione from her thoughts. The Nutcracker was over and people were rising from their seats, ready to leave.
"Well, what did you think, Harry?" Jane asked.
"Not bad. Although, I could do without the men in tights," Harry answered and Edward laughed.
The snow was falling when they left the theatre. Cars lined up in the front, valets at the ready to release the vehicles to their rightful owners. One of them ran up to Edward handing him the keys to the vehicle.
"You two want us to give you a ride?" he asked.
"If you don't mind, I think I'll walk your daughter home," Harry said.
Edward nodded and Jane kissed her daughter's cheek, "Take care, darling."
Harry and Hermione started down the street.
"You were in ballet once, weren't you?" Harry asked.
"Oh, God that was ages ago. I was in primary school," Hermione tossed her head back and laughed.
"Did you ever do the Nutcracker?"
"Yes, it was a small cheesy production. I was a mouse."
Harry laughed. "I bet you were an adorable mouse." Hermione blushed. Their hands brushed briefly and Harry caught her hand with his, wrapping his fingers around hers. She didn't pull away.
"Thank you for walking me home," she said, walking a bit closer to his side.
"Anytime, Hermione. Anytime."
*********************************
"Potter, can you come in here for a moment," Kingsley's voice called from his office to Harry as he walked by.
"Is everything alright?" Harry asked entering the room.
Kingsley stood up to greet him, an Asian wizard he didn't recognize stood up as well.
"Harry, this is Mr. Chen," Kingsley introduced. "He's head of the auror division in Hong Kong."
"Pleased to meet your acquaintance," Mr. Chen gave a nod to Harry.
"Wow, Hong Kong," Harry was impressed. "What brings you to London?"
"They are doing some reorganizing in the Hong Kong division. Mr. Chen is here to observe our model of work."
"And possibly to offer someone a position in our division?" Mr. Chen added.
"Mr. Chen is being promoted to a higher office, leaving a vacancy for the head of the Auror Department."
Both men looked pointedly at Harry.
"Oh, wow! Um, I don't know what to say," Harry was flattered.
"We'd hate to lose you, Harry, but I can't think of anyone more qualified than you," Kingsley smiled.
"It would be an honor if you took our offer," Mr. Chen handed him a piece of parchment.
Harry took it and unfolded it. His eyes got huge.
"Uh, well…I…" he stammered.
"You don't have to make any decisions right now, we'll give you some time to think about it," Kingsley offered.
"Yeah, that would be best. I just need some time to think this through."
"Very well, Harry. You can go on with your day."
*********************************
Hermione collapsed on her sofa, her shopping bags piled around her. It was only a few days before Christmas and she had braved the stores to do some last minute gift shopping. She groaned when she heard a knock at the door. She opened the door and gasped in shock.
"Oh my God!"
A Christmas tree stood in front of her.
"Surprise!" Harry called out from behind the tree.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Hermione stood out of the way as Harry dragged the tree into her flat.
"I noticed that you were missing this important piece of holiday equipment," Harry said beaming.
"It's wonderful!" Hermione said, looking up at it. "But I don't have any decorations."
"Well, we'll just have to go out and get some," Harry said, dragging Hermione to the door.
"Oh, Harry," Hermione groaned. "I just got back from that chaos."
"Come on! We'll brave it together."
Hermione managed to grab her purse before Harry dragged her through the door.
"A little more left. No, too far, go right. Wait!"
"Hermione!" Harry groaned, "my arm is killing me!" Harry was placing an angel on top of the tree under Hermione's guidance.
"But it has to be perfect!"
Harry sighed and plopped the angel on the tree. "There! Trust me it's perfect."
They had gone out and bought various decorations for the tree then brought them back and began hanging them while obnoxious holiday music blared from her radio.
Hermione consented to the position of the angel, although she still thought it was a little off center.
"Here, help me move the sofa," Harry instructed. And they swung the sofa around to face the large window, the tree standing next to it, its enchanted decorations scurried around it.
"Now we can relax," Harry sighed.
"Wait!" Hermione dashed to her purse and drew out her wand. Pointing it at Harry she transfigured the clothes into a pair of warm pajamas. "I'm going to get a blanket, you make the hot cocoa."
She dashed into her room and rummaged through her drawers, searching for her flannel PJs, when she came across a small package wrapped in silver.
*********************FLASHBACK***************************
The annual Christmas get together at the Burrow was bittersweet this time. She was leaving for America and her wedding tomorrow. She was really going to miss this place, miss England, miss her friends and family.
She had just settled into bed when there was a soft knock at her front door.
"Harry!" she said with surprise, when she answered it. "What are you doing here?" She let him into the flat.
Harry walked in and looked around. The place was empty, filled with boxes ready to be taken away. Harry swallowed the lump in his throat.
"I wanted to give you this," he said, handing her a small wrapped silver package.
Hermione took it from him and carefully unwrapped it. Inside was a silver heart shaped locket.
"Oh, Harry! It's beautiful!"
"I know you're supposed to have something old, something new, uh, you know, all that. Well I'm sure you have everything already, but I would be honored if you wore this as your something old."
"Something old?"
"Look at the inscription on the back."
"'To my wife Lily. Love, your husband James.' Oh, Harry."
"My dad gave it to my mum on their wedding day. I…uh…I want you to have it."
"Harry, I can't."
"Please. I can't think of anyone else worthy of this. Please, promise me you'll wear it?"
"I promise."
She took out the locket and clasped it around her neck. "Thank you, Harry."
"You're welcome," he answered softly.
"Harry," she began, hesitating, wondering if she should ask it. "Can you think of any reason, any at all why I shouldn't marry Oliver?"
Harry looked deep into her eyes. How about I love you? I'll never love anyone as much as I love you.
"No," he replied after a pause, "none at all."
Hermione sighed and closed her eyes.
Harry took her to the airport the next day. Saw her off at the gate.
"This is for the best, Hermione," he had told her, then he kissed her on the cheek.
******************END OF FLASHBACK************************
Hermione opened the box and took out the locket, clasping it around her neck. She sighed and took a long, hard look at herself in the mirror. She then walked over to her nightstand and opened the drawer. Inside was an envelope which she drew papers from.
Her divorce papers.
All she had to do was sign it then send it off to Oliver, her part would be done. She had to admit to herself, and face the fact that she had made a mistake.
She walked over to her desk and pulled out a quill, signing her name on the paper. She then took her wedding ring off her finger and put it in her jewelry box. She sighed.
"Is everything alright?" Harry asked when she returned to the living room.
Hermione smiled. "Yeah, I think it will be."
Harry looked at her a little quizzically then settled down with her on the sofa. She had brought out a blanket with her and tossed it over Harry and herself. Harry handed her the hot cocoa and they settled in. The candles on the tree dimmed, casting a soft glow over the room as the animated decorations scurried around the tree, whispering amongst themselves. Snow began to fall lightly as the city lights sparkled.
"The Christmas party at the Burrow is coming up soon," she broke the silence.
"Yeah, I know," Harry answered.
"I was wondering…would you like to go…together?" she asked timidly.
Harry smiled, "It's a date."
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