The Last Kefsen by Jardyn39
Chapter 6: Letters
After lunch Harry looked in on Jen and found her sleeping soundly. He was also very tired but was determined to complete some tasks that he had promised himself he would do. Harry went down to the living room, sat at Sirius' antique writing chest, and begun to write.
His first letter was to Professor Dumbledore and in it Harry apologised for the things he said and did in the Headmaster's office. He wrote quickly knowing exactly what he wanted to say until the point where he considered whether he should tell Dumbledore the things he was still annoyed about. He decided not to put these in a letter and instead wrote that he would also like to apologise in person when he saw the Headmaster. Perhaps then would be the time to talk to Dumbledore.
When he had finished the letter, Harry reflected on his feelings about Dumbledore at that moment. He had been so angry before. Now, that anger had definitely subsided, but was not gone entirely. He knew the Headmaster cared about him and believed he had Harry's best interests at heart. In place of his anger, Harry felt a calmness and a new resolve. He had finally accepted the prophecy. Perhaps he would die at the hands of Voldemort, but he had vowed he would finish Voldemort for good this time before than happened. Ever since Harry had witnessed Dumbledore duel with Voldemort he knew he was totally ill prepared. Harry was determined to ask Dumbledore for more training. He wanted to learn to fight. Time would be short. Voldemort would be stupid not to try and finish him off before he finished his training. This gave him one or two years at most and many more would die before Voldemort could finally be stopped. Harry wanted to be honest with the Headmaster, he would have to tell him somehow the truth that he no longer entirely trusted Dumbledore's judgement.
He wondered for a moment if he should tell Dumbledore about the shadow Jen had seen and what she feared it was. What if Dumbledore said she was right? Harry didn't want to think about that.
His use of an unforgivable curse at the Department of Mysteries had given Harry much concern. He was worried that it had not been effective at all by Death Eater standards. That had to change, except that in the back of his mind Harry wondered if he would ever be capable of such things. Harry knew Dumbledore would resist teaching him offensive and dark magic. Perhaps Dumbledore could be persuaded or suggest a different strategy.
Harry's second letter was to Mrs. Longbottom. Harry told Neville's grandmother, with some careful wording in case Hermione's jinx was still active, how Neville had practised and achieved enormous improvements in their Defence Against the Dart Arts "extra-curricular studies" and had insisted on not allowing Harry to go alone to the Department of Mysteries. Harry described the fight that lead to Neville's wand being broken and asked that she hold himself, not Neville, responsible. Harry finished describing, as best he could, the bravery and courage that Neville and the others had shown in London. He was sure Neville would be too modest and wanted Mrs. Longbottom to share in Harry's pride.
Harry thought about whether or not he should also write to the Grangers, Mr Lovegood and Mr & Mrs Weasley. He rather thought that Hermione might not want Mr & Mrs Granger to know too much about the danger he put their daughter in and assumed that Luna's father would feel the same. Harry decided in the end to wait until he saw Hermione, Luna, Ron and Ginny and he would write only if they said it would be okay.
He sat quietly for a while and considered his friends and the DA. He decided he would tell, in confidence, all five about the prophecy. They would hear the prophecy if they wished to and if they swore not to reveal it to anyone and never to write it down. He would trust them. At first Harry considered only telling Hermione and Ron, but in the end he decided they would be also targeted now and had the right to know.
Harry had some misgivings though. He trusted Hermione, Ginny and Luna. Neville could be indiscreet sometimes. He was most concerned about Ron though, who had before blurted out things without thinking and said things in anger. He was sure none of them would deliberately betray the secret, but what would be the consequences of an accidental disclosure?
And what of the DA? Would the members who remained at school want to continue? Harry felt that the wider group would probably not want to carry on. After all, with Umbridge gone they might have a decent teacher and actually learn defensive magic in the classroom. He would invite Hermione, Ron, Neville, Ginny and Luna to continue though. They all needed better defensive skills.
Harry picked up his quill and began to write his third letter. It was to Aunt Petunia. He thanked her for the kindness and concern she had shown him, as well as her persistence in getting him help. Telling her about the loss of his godfather, he went on to explain why Harold's passing had affected him so deeply. He assured her that he was feeling much better now and told her that she had helped him recover much sooner than he otherwise would have. Harry now recognised and found he genuinely appreciated Aunt Petunia's attempts to help. For the first time in Harry's memory she had seen past her feelings and prejudices to see his pain. She cared.
Hedwig joined Harry at the writing desk and he spent a few minutes stroking her and telling her how much he had missed her.
Yawning widely and feeling his tiredness return, Harry picked up his three letters. Hedwig expectantly held out one leg.
"No Hedwig, sorry. I'm going to give these to Lupin and ask him to make sure they stay secure."
Hedwig clicked her beak indignantly and Harry explained, "I know the letters would be safe with you but I couldn't bear it if someone tried to intercept them and you got hurt again. These letters are not in code, anyone could understand them."
Harry went down to the kitchen and handed the unsealed letters to Lupin. Telling Lupin he was welcome to read them, Harry explained that he wanted the Headmaster to get his letter before he got back to school, if it was at all possible.
*
The next day Harry got up early to spend as much time as possible with Jen. After some persuasion, Harry managed to get Jen downstairs so he could introduce Lupin. He wanted to make sure Jen felt comfortable around the house and was determined that she should not hide herself away. Harry knew that Jen had been changed by their shared experience.
Together Harry and Lupin gave Jen repeated assurances that she would be a welcome addition to the household, would be free to roam the house in any form and that members of the Order would visit her so she would not be lonely.
As soon as Lupin left the living room, Jen transformed into her Hermione form. She bravely tried to hide the sadness in her face but Harry felt terrible that he was leaving her so soon.
Harry finally dragged his trunk down and into the kitchen where the fire was burning with dancing yellow flames.
"You need to go now Harry," said Lupin hurriedly, "Madam Pomfrey was expecting you half an hour ago!"
Harry groaned and looked around to say goodbye to Jen. She was nowhere to be seen. Ignoring Lupin's protests, Harry left the kitchen and ran up the stairs. In the entrance lobby Harry shouted "Jen! I'm leaving now!"
Harry listened for a reply. Nothing. Feeling a little disappointed, Harry shouted, "I'll see you soon. Take care of yourself!"
Hearing Lupin's call from down in the basement, Harry turned and went back down the stairs.
"Leave your trunk. I will follow with it later," said Lupin looking distracted and searching through his pockets for something.
*
Harry fell out of fireplace into the Gryffindor common room and collapsed in a heap on the floor. As his journey through the flue had progressed, Harry had felt a painful tearing from within his chest.
Harry vaguely registered Madam Pomfrey's exasperated, "What is it this time?" before he lost consciousness.