Chapter 25: Hermione Fails At Something
July 23 - 1:50pm - Grimmauld Place
Harry looked up from his book as Hermione stormed into the room. He knew from her face and the slamming of the door behind her that her meeting with McGonagall hadn't gone well. As she tore through the room, he closed his book and put it down beside him as he waited for her to speak.
"I can't do it," with those words Hermione collapsed onto her knees on the floor. Harry moved to her immediately wrapping his arms around her. She leaned into him resting her head in the crook of his neck. He waited patiently for her to continue, silently holding her and offering whatever comfort he could just by being there for her.
"McGonagall tried every test she knew, and nothing happened." He heard the quiver in her voice at the last part and knew that tears would follow.
"Hermione, it'll be okay," Harry tried to reassure her. She pulled away from him and he saw the tears in her eyes. He hated to see her cry.
"But what's wrong with me? I've never had problems with magic before," Hermione cried out obviously confused. The anguish and confusion in her cinnamon eyes made Harry want to crush whatever block she had to the exercises. Hermione was the brightest witch he'd ever known, and he didn't understand her current predicament.
"There's nothing wrong with you," Harry countered as he used his hand to tilt her head up to meet her eyes. She needed to believe that and couldn't deny the sincerity in his eyes as he looked at her.
"Easy for you to say, you can do it," Hermione retorted standing and walking to the window in Sirius's old bedroom. She wasn't ready to be reassured. She'd tried everything, but she couldn't seem to do even the most basic of the animagus exercises. It was worse than failing a test. McGonagall had just informed her that no amount of studying or practice was going to change the fact that she would not be able to become an animagus. Harry and Neville would proceed with the transformation exercises without her.
"Did McGonagall say why?" Harry questioned choosing his words carefully. It was obviously time to try another track.
"She doesn't know. She said that some people just can't for whatever reason," Hermione explained feeling worse somehow. 'Why couldn't she be an animagus?'
"Sounds like its time for us to go to the library," Harry commented grasping on to her words. Hermione didn't answer for a moment then turned to him wiping the tears from her cheeks.
"Of course, at least I can try to find out why." Harry smiled encouragingly.
"Exactly, maybe there's a really good reason why your not picking up the animagus exercises," Harry explained marveling that he was actually encouraging Hermione to take on even more research when she already spent most of her free time in either the Black family library or the Hogwarts library.
"Thanks, Harry." With her words warmth spread through Harry at being able to make her feel better, even if it meant even more time in the library searching for answers.
"Your welcome, Hermione," he said as he followed her from the room on the familiar route to the library. They had another hour before occlumency lessons, and this research really couldn't wait.
"Hey, guys," Ron greeted Harry and Hermione moments later as they came through the library doors. Both stopped at the sight of their best friend sitting at a table working on something. They still hadn't spoken to him about their relationship.
"Hey, mate," Harry greeted recovering first. "What are you working on?" Ron's face went slightly pink as he answered.
"Um, just some stuff Luna asked me to help her with." Harry smiled at his friends flushed face. A very encouraging sign, indeed, perhaps he and Hermione were worried about Ron's reaction to their relationship for no reason.
"Hey, Ron," Hermione said coming closer to her friend, "that's really nice of you to help her out like that." She glanced at the books in front of Ron, noticing that it all appeared to be potions texts, and marveled more that the Ravenclaw girl had gotten Ron to voluntarily research anything related to potions.
"Yeah, I guess," Ron replied. "So what are you two working on today?" He really did miss his friends. They always seemed to be coming and going to one class or another or researching for those classes. It was almost like they were at school and suddenly he wasn't in any of their classes anymore.
"Some animagus research actually," Hermione replied not wanting to admit her failure to Ron just yet, especially if there was a good reason behind why she couldn't perform the transformations. She walked along the shelves beginning her search for texts involving the transformations and potential blocks.
"Cool," Ron said thinking it really would be brilliant to be able to turn into an animal at will. "Are you going to be covering that in D.A.?" He directed this question to Harry who was still standing hear his table while Hermione searched.
"I don't know. It can be pretty dangerous if not properly supervised," Harry answered. "If you really want to learn, McGonagall might agree to teach you."
"Really?"
"Yeah, why not?" Harry replied encouraging his friend. He looked over to Hermione to see her pulling some books off a shelf.
"Alright, I'll think about it," Ron replied looking down at his notes, then back up at his friend who he'd barely talked to in so long and finally said. "How about a game of chess?" Harry smiled, and then he remembered that he was supposed to be helping Hermione. As if reading his thoughts, Hermione said,
"Go ahead, it's been ages since you two have played."
"Thanks, Hermione, I will help you later, I promise." Ron watched the by play between his two friends and almost asked when they were going to tell him that they were dating, but held back. He really didn't want to ruin the good mood that existed between them.
He'd talked to Luna, and he knew his friends didn't want to hurt his feelings, but it hurt that they didn't trust him with their news. He'd been jealous at first that Harry would do that to him, when he was certain his friend knew he liked Hermione. Luna had calmed him down though. In fact, now he wondered if he didn't like her more than he had ever liked Hermione. She was still a little strange at times, but he'd never found it so easy to talk to a girl. Even Hermione, who had been his friend for years, wasn't as easy to talk to and they almost always ended up arguing. Luna was simply different. He shook his head and realized that while he'd been lost in thought, Harry had set up the chess board and was now looking at him waiting for him to join him at the other end of the table. He moved down and the two friends began to play.
Hermione curled up in her usual chair to read, though she found herself watching her two best friends more than she read. It was nice to see them together again. She realized that the two friends hadn't played chess since they had left Hogwarts at the end of their fifth year. Ron was obviously winning, but that was no surprise. He really was a genius at wizard's chess. She wondered how Luna had faired at chess against her red-headed friend, and at the fact that the Ravenclaw girl had actually managed to get Ron to do research for her.
As time drew near for her and Harry to meet with Dumbledore for their occlumency training, she found she really didn't want to go, even though Ron had already beaten Harry twice at chess and started a third game. She smiled as she thought about how glad she was that the three of them were here like this, like old times, just enjoying each others company. She knew they would have to talk eventually, and that the war could intrude at anytime, but for now, she couldn't think of anywhere else she'd rather be than curled up with a good book while her best friends played chess.
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July 23 - 2:58pm - Grimmauld Place
Albus Dumbledore apparated to Grimmauld Place as his apparition signature was keyed to the wards. Minerva's obvious astonishment at Hermione's inability to become an animagus was foremost in his thoughts as he made his way to the study he preferred to work from when at Grimmauld. He pondered briefly why this ability might remain out of reach of such a skilled witch. He vowed to conduct some research of his own into why that might be the case. He sat down in the comfy overstaffed chair behind the desk and had just settled his dark blue robes about himself when a knock sounded at the door to the study.
"Come in," he called expecting to see all three of his students but finding only Neville, who came forward slowly. "Good afternoon, Mr. Longbottom," he greeted the young man warmly.
"Good afternoon, sir," Neville replied wondering where Harry and Hermione were. Dumbledore studied Neville closely for several moments as the two waited for the others to arrive. He was much too thin and still very pale. Dumbledore found himself in agreement with the others that something would have to be done about the eating habits of his star pupils before more serious complications arose. So much grief heaped upon their young shoulders, he hated that he had only added more responsibilities to those same shoulders.
"How are you, my boy?" Neville seemed surprised at the question.
"Alright, I guess," he replied quickly looking down so that the headmaster could not see the truth in his eyes.
"I am always here if you need to talk," Dumbledore reminded the young man hoping he might seize the current opportunity.
"I know, sir," Neville reassured him still not looking up at his headmaster.
"I was pleased with the report that Pomona handed me on your research so far. You have a real knack for herbology and your work has already helped Madam Pomfrey in developing some better medicines." Neville smiled at the praise, one of his first real smiles in weeks. He enjoyed the research and experiments that he and Professor Sprout were working on for the Order. Dumbledore had explained that not only would he like to use plants and products derived from plants to help with the war, but that many cures for ailments might still be waiting to be discovered. His greatest hope was to discover something that might help his parents, but this was a goal he hadn't shared with anyone.
"Thank you, sir." At that moment a bedraggled Harry and Hermione dashed into the room and collapsed in front of the desk beside Neville and across from their headmaster.
"Sorry, sir," Hermione panted clearly out of breath.
"We we're in the library," Harry added a bit winded himself.
"And lost track of time," Hermione finished desperately trying to straighten her hair that had come loose from its ponytail. Dumbledore smiled at their similarity to the Weasley twin's method of speech. The bond was developing nicely all on its own as the two grew closer together. He had yet to find anything more than what he had told them already about bonding, except for a reference to a mysterious book that eluded him.
"Apology accepted, Mr. Longbottom and I used the time to catch up on some things. Do try to be on time next time though," he reminded them with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Yes, sir," the two said in perfect unison although neither seemed to realize what they had done.
"Yes, well, we should get on with things," Dumbledore said, then instructed, "I would like for all three of you to clear your mind, relax, and use the meditation exercises we've been practicing." He paused as he watched them each close their eyes and adjust their breathing taking deep calming breathes and releasing them slowly. After several moments, he broke the silence.
"Now, today, I will again attempt to see into your thoughts at random. Block me as soon as you can, but do not try to force me out. We will work on that later." He watched as each of them nodded slightly. He cast 'legilimens' silently at Neville and at first saw nothing. Neville felt the soft brushing against his mind that was Dumbledore's attempt to see his thoughts. As the pressure increased he struggled a bit, but his mind remained under his control. It felt as if Dumbledore was searching for something in particular.
He focused on his breathing to remain calm and not lose control. When Dumbledore had talked about occlumency, he'd made it sound as if the most important thing was to remain calm and in control of your own thoughts, so that the legilimens only saw what you wanted him to see. As he felt his resistance waning he made one last attempt to only show Dumbledore the game of chess he'd played yesterday with Ron. After several long moments, the pressure stopped and he sighed inwardly, thankful his turn was over and all he'd given up a memory of an innocuous game of chess.
Dumbledore smiled as he broke the spell on Neville. The young man continuously surprised him. He showed a real knack for occlumency, and with practice, he had no doubt that Neville could become a relatively accomplished legilimens. He marveled again at what confidence and belief in one's self could do to a person's ability to succeed. After his brief pause, he cast the silent spell again this time at Harry. He noticed the young man's sense of peace seemed stronger. 'He's resolved something,' the wizened wizard decided as he probed further.
Harry felt a push against his own mind and worked to maintain the simple blackness that Dumbledore had taught them to project, as if he were truly thinking of nothing. The differences between Snape's and Dumbledore's methods of occlumency were like night and day. He much preferred Dumbledore's softer more subtle intrusion, though the end result still left him with a horrible headache. As the pressure increased again, he saw himself with Ron and Hermione in the library from this morning. His breathing quickened and he scrambled to block the headmaster from seeing more. After what felt like forever, the pressure receded and he breathed more deeply. His turn was over, though he had not been able to keep the professor out of his mind completely.
Hermione guessed that Dumbledore must have chosen one of the boys first as she continued to meditate, though she found it harder to concentrate than normal. She's never failed at anything before, not something that she really wanted to do, and certainly nothing magical. She struggled for several moments to calm herself again. As the animagus training was covert, it was not a memory that she could afford to project to anyone without compromising the surprise. She followed Dumbledore's instructions flawlessly, suppressing the thoughts and returning to her previously calm state.
Moments later she felt another presence in her mind. It was insistent and pressed her to reveal to it her whereabouts, her fears, but she had locked these away and instead focused on projecting an outward sense of calm. The presence became more insistent and she faltered. She could feel her thoughts as if they were struggling to break free of her calm. The pressure increased and she cried out as her thoughts burst free. The chant from her previous nightmares of being a failure circled in her thoughts. She had failed her friends in the Department of Mysteries, and now she was failing Harry once again. She brought her shields up again before the memory of her talk with McGonagall about the animagus training could be seen, and the presence faded slowly.
"Well, done, all of you," Dumbledore commended them. The three opened their eyes slowly.
"But, headmaster," Hermione began only to be interrupted.
"You did well, Miss Granger. It is to be expected that you would be more distracted today, but when it really counted, you held your shield," Dumbledore reassured her. Hermione looked down at her hands. Dumbledore continued, "Please continue to practice your meditations and try to maintain that control over your thoughts at all times. I think you are all ready to learn more about legilimency, and forcing someone out of your thoughts, so continue reading in the assigned text and we will add that into our next lesson. Are there any questions?" All three shook their heads.
"Very well, then, I shall get back to Hogwarts I think," Dumbledore finished and they all stood. He watched them leave the room each still lost in their own thoughts. He was proud of what each of his students had accomplished in such a short amount of time. Other than Miss Granger's block with animagus training, the three had excelled in all of their studies so far. Given enough time, he knew they would become three of the most powerful wizards and witch of their age. He only hoped they had the time.
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Author's Note: Thanks to Ranman, who has so nicely edited and made some great suggestions to the last chapter and this one, to improve my story. I really appreciate it. Also, thanks to those who continue to follow this story. I really hope you like this newest update. Let me know!