Chapter 16 : Rethinking the Three D's
A/N: Needed a bit of naughty banter, so this didn't go as far as I wanted it to (I'm sure
some of you would want to see things go farther too, but I need to be mindful of my ratings). Oh, what to do with those
wicked thoughts now that Portrait is on hiatus? Thanks to all who have reviewed, and especially to those whose
reviews I can count on (and eagerly wait for) after posting each new chapter.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, no money being made, etc., etc.
Ron's questions started in not five seconds after the Trio had piled into the Bentley's rear seat for the ride back to Little Whinging from the Museum.
"Right then," he began, "Who is this Prince that you were talking about, why was that guy calling you Sir Harry and Dame Hermione, and when did you plan on telling me that there were muggles that aren't as stupid as they're made out to be?"
"All that's more important then the fact that we've got a solid lead on a possible horcux?" Hermione asked, as she waved the DVD disc that the historian had given them.
"Right now," Ron replied, "yes…I think so."
"And here I was thinking your first question would be when's lunch," Harry quipped.
"Oh Ron, you are….you want to talk about stupidity?" Hermione asked. "How long did you stand in front of the toilet the other night waiting for the seat to magically pop up for you?"
"Oy, you muggles do nearly everything different…how do you expect me to absorb it all at once…I'm not some bloody sponge, after all."
"That might be her point," Harry tried to gently interject. "We did tell you about the Prince the other night, just not by name…we thought, particularly after your rough time getting here, that it'd be best if you eased into your new world."
"Would've been nice if you'd given me the choice," Ron said.
"Yeah, well, it wasn't like we got to pick and choose how we learned about the magical world, was it?" Harry replied. "Look, mate, all of this came out of the blue, what…three days ago now? Hermione and I are still trying to sort most of it out ourselves."
"Fine," Ron muttered. "So now's your chance to bring me up to speed."
Harry and Hermione then proceeded to fill in some of the gaps to the story Ron had been told two nights previous. They found it hard to explain the concepts of landed gentry and peerage, since there was no historical equivalent within the magical realm. Certainly there were some magical families that acted as if the were better than others by birthright, but they'd had never been in a position to divvy up wizard England into fiefdoms, baronies or dukedoms. They explained their knighthoods as ceremonial recognitions…the equivalent of being awarded the Order of Merlin, First Class, and made sure they conveyed to Ron the Queen's message about his involvement within the Order of Arthur. They promised to give him his emblem when the returned to Number Four, explaining that they'd not really had time to anything more than look at them.
Ron's fears about being excluded from Harry and Hermione's activities were placated by their explanations, and by reassurances that neither of them planned on pretentiously throwing their titles around any time soon. Somewhat surprisingly, he spent more time dwelling over the fact that he'd distinguished himself in a way that none of his brothers had before. He also worried about them accepting too much help and becoming too dependent on muggles. Harry suggested that if Ron wanted to start down that path that he would return the plasma screen telly and videogames when they returned to his Aunt and Uncle's. Ron thought that a tad extreme.
They then launched into a discussion about the potential horcrux. Had Dumbledore had known about it? The former Headmaster hadn't described it to Harry; as far as they knew the only two surviving relics had been the sword and Sorting Hat. But had Dumbledore done any research at the British Library? It would have been nice if he'd kept some sort of log of his research efforts so they know where he's already looked, but they doubted that he would have risked writing anything down. Harry recalled that there were many bottled memories in Dumbledore's office that he hadn't shared, and thought it possible that there would be potential information there. That question got added to the list of things to ask the Headmistress the next time that they saw her.
The conversation then drifted towards Godric. The historian had told them that unlike Voldemort, Gryffindor's Lordship was real; he had inherited the title, a castle and a modest fiefdom even before he'd been appointed the King's wizard. Gryffindor's lands and wealth had expanded when he became the King's most trusted confident, but all had been forfeited to the Crown when he refused to swear fealty to the conquering Norman king.
They had no idea what being the King's wizard (or, for that matter, Queen's wizard) would entail in modern-day England. Ron thought it funny that should Harry accept the title that it would be one Lord versus another in the final battle. Harry, however, was more worried about having even more responsibilities added upon his shoulders, and Hermione was worried about what kind of trouble Harry would get into were to do magic on behalf of the Crown.
And Ron was worried about…well, actually, he finally did start to worry about lunch. He shared Harry's skepticism over the tins of tofu and other healthy organic foods in Brian's pantry, and wondered out loud whether they ought to stop by the Leaky Cauldron for take away. Hermione, predictably, scowled a bit as Ron's unhealthy eating habits, but not enough not to knock on the glass partition and ask Brian to stop someplace for fish and chips.
As luck would have it (at least from Hermione's viewpoint), Brian selected a restaurant that was directly across the street from an athletic shoe store. None of them owned trainers suitable for running, and even Ron reluctantly agreed that adopting a fitness regimen would be one useful way to bide their time at Number Four. So while Brian waited on the food, they dragged Petunia with them, and returned with new trainers all around.
Harry had used the Prince's charge card to pay for the purchases, hoping that it would be the last time he'd need to do so. The sales clerk almost fell over when he saw the name imprinted on the card, but said nothing as the charge was electronically processed. Ron might have made a sharp comment about the deferential treatment that they subsequently received, had he not made the mistake of asking a question about credit cards that prompted an impromptu lecture from Hermione on muggle monetary systems. Harry grinned at Hermione's level of detail, and wondered whether it was meant to discourage future inquiries on all things muggle.
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The Trio found a slightly flustered owl waiting for them at Number Four. Harry had left the bedroom window open in the hope that she'd return; the bowl of water and food he'd laid out for her seemed to have dampened any anger the bird might have harbored for not being missed the past couple of days. Hedwig had a think envelope for Hermione and a letter for Harry, both bearing the Auror Department's seal. Harry quickly opened his letter:
Dear Mr. Potter,
Please forgive the unfortunate delay in your owl's return from the Ministry. My investigation has revealed that your name and address was placed on a Level III watch list just prior to her arrival here early Saturday morning - the work of someone from the Minister's office, apparently. All letters and packages sent to the Ministry by persons on this watch list are considered high risk for hexes and/or curses, and standard procedures for handling this type of post include owl isolation and containment within a high-security stasis field until the safety of their delivery can be determined. Current backlog for this type of post is about three weeks.
Placing your name on this list (which includes, by the way, Tom Riddle, Severus Snape and Lucious Malfoy) ensured that any reply that you provided to Umbridge's letter Friday night would not have been received and read. Which was entirely the point, I imagine. Rest assured that your owl was unharmed by the stasis field.
I wish I could say that the person who did this would be held accountable, or that I have the power to immediately remove your name from this watch list, but I can not. Your owl now knows a reliable alternative delivery address, should you or anyone that you trust care to contact me directly. Since all of your owl post communication is subject to isolation, please feel free to route posts addressed to other ministry addresses through me; I will see that they are delivered without delay.
Again, my apologies to you and to your familiar.
Gawain Robards, Head
Auror Division
Magical Law Enforcement Office
Ministry of Magic
Harry traded letters with Hermione. Her package, also from the Head Auror, included the incident report that she'd been promised. The investigation had confirmed their version of events last Friday, and that the disciplinary action promised that night had, in fact, been metered out. The Head Auror also indicated that plans were in place to arrest the two Death Eater look-outs on her parents's doorstep. He asked that they allow the MLE to handle the situation from here on out, and expressed his hope that Harry, Hermione and her parents would trust his department to perform better than they had at Number Four. As an aside, he also stated that the Ministry had placed a rather large requisition with the Weasley Twins for their after-market omnioculars.
Harry asked Hermione what she thought about letting the Aurors handle that operation. She said that she would have to check with her parents, but that she was inclined to let it go - the three of them certainly had more pressing issues to attend to. Still, she made a note to track down Tonks to find out when the arrests were to be performed.
The first use of their running shoes suggested that the need for a fitness regimen was more pressing than initially thought. None of them handled the exercise pain-free, and Ron had a rather difficult time keeping up with Hermione's pace. They squabbled most of the distance, to the point where Harry suggested that they might need a neutral third party to lead their workouts. Mr. Granger, who found them on the front lawn winded and aching after their run, thought that was an excellent idea, and promised to make arrangements for some coaching.
Harry let the other two shower first, which created yet another teachable moment for Ron (red is hot, blue is cold, and don't flush when someone is in the shower). The hot water was gone by the time Ron was done, but that was just as well, since Harry needed to cool down after spending some quality time watching Hermione run. Once done, he wrapped himself in a towel and made his way to his new bedroom, where he changed into a new summer outfit and headed next door to Hermione's room.
Hermione was sitting on the four poster looking through one of the books from Snape's personal library. "Where's Ron?" she asked.
"Erm, next door," Harry replied with a grin, "He said he wanted to learn more about muggle technology."
"So he's playing with the Xbox?"
"Right in one," he said, as he crossed the room, sat down next to her, and nuzzled her ear with his nose. "Missed you," he told her.
"Hey, that tickles," she replied with a giggle, "and I was only gone for an hour or so."
"Okay then," Harry said, "Missed being able to do this." He then put an arm around her shoulders and kissed her on the cheek.
Hermione turned so that she could kiss him properly on the lips. "I missed this too, but we really shouldn't be doing this so long as there's a chance for Ron to walk in, right?"
Harry tilted his head and began to nibble on her ear. "Want to pitch the tent?" he asked.
"Looks like you already have," Hermione snickered, as her eyes traveled down his torso. "Besides, I think we should spend some time working on nonverbal spells instead."
"Oh, you're no fun," Harry replied with a sigh, "but you also are right…I can still hear Snape's taunts about that."
"Well, maybe, then" Hermione mused, "we can make practice fun?" She walked over to her desk, turned the chair around and sat down. "Or at least get you properly motivated."
She pointed her wand towards the bedroom door and locked it. After casting a series of silencing spells on the door, windows and walls, she turned towards Harry and with a single motion flipped her t-shirt up over her head. Harry drew in a sharp breath - all she was wearing were jeans and a black lace bra. With a smile and fire in her eyes, Hermione then reached in between the cups and unclasped the front of her bra. Making no effort to remove the undergarment, the bra cups fell only slightly towards the sides, and remained draped over her skin.
"Remember the first spell we learned at Hogwarts?" she asked. "I doubt either of these scraps of fabric weighs much more than a feather."
Harry shook his head. "Hermione, you are going to be the death of me," he chuckled, as he nevertheless withdrew his wand from his pocket and aimed it towards Hermione's chest.
He never realized how loudly he could shout "Wingardium Leviosa" inside his head…or how many times he could do so. The only thing moving Hermione's undergarment, however, was her slightly ragged breathing.
"Harry," she finally asked, "exactly how are you trying to do it?"
"Saying the spell in my head," he replied.
"Erm, maybe another approach?" she asked. "Think about apparition…that's a nonverbal spell, but there's no associated incantation. Just the…"
"Three D's," Harry nodded, "destination, determination, and deliberation. Of course, destination doesn't really apply in this case….maybe D-cup?"
Hermione crossed her arms in front of her chest. "That's not funny, Harry…and they're B's not D's."
"Look good to me," Harry replied with a grin. "Let's see…the three B's….how about breasts, breasts and breasts?"
Hermione moved to fasted her front clasp. "Are we done here, then?"
"No, wait…" Harry said quickly. "Let me try again."
Hermione dropped her arms back down to her sides, while Harry thought about his determination, his deliberation, and his….desire.
The fabric stirred, then lifted straight up into the air.
Harry couldn't remember ever being happier over a successful spell cast.
Hermione, forgetting her new state of undress, leapt up and gave Harry a bear hug. "Harry, that's wonderful, you really did it!" she exclaimed, giving him a big kiss.
"Like you said, Hermione, I just need the proper motivation," he replied. He then let out an evil-sounding laugh. "So how much do you think your knickers weigh?"
Hermione punched him in the shoulder…not that he minded, given the view that procedure provided. "Perv," she replied with a smile. "Besides, I'd imagine you'd want my knickers to drop down, rather than rise up."
"Imagine I would," Harry replied with a smile.
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It was movie night at the Granger's. Well, actually it was at Number Five, and it was the Granger residence that they were actually watching, but there was popcorn, at least.
A quick chat with Tonks had confirmed that the Auror's operation was planned for that night, and the Trio had decided to honor Auror Robard's request to stay away from the area. It was Hermione's parents that had suggested that it still might be possible to see what happened, so after dinner (and with Petunia's permission, of course) the Trio had crossed the street and were finally given a full tour of Number Five.
They hadn't been shown the upstairs bedrooms before, and when they were led into the largest bedroom they understood why Wally had asked them to check their wands at the door. The room had been transformed into a command and control center/surveillance post, with banks of flat-panel screens displaying live video feeds from not only Harry's neighborhood, but within Number Four itself. Wally had three of the largest monitors set up side-by-side on a table pushed up against the wall, and once they were shown in he switched the video feeds so that the left monitor showed the two Death Eaters standing on the street corner down from the Granger's house and the right monitor showed a wide angle view of their entire street. With little activity shown on either screen Wally popped a DVD into the desktop computer that sat beneath the central monitor, and they all sat back and watched a movie while they waited.
There wasn't much room to sit in front of the screen…a couch and two sturdy chairs. Wally and Steve sat in the chairs, while Mr. and Mrs. Granger sat on the couch. At their insistence (and to her father's great amusement) Hermione and Harry insisted that Ron take the other spot on the couch (given his long legs, of course). That left Harry and Hermione sitting on the floor together, in front of her parents.
Given Wally's sense of humor (and personal preferences), Hermione wasn't at all surprised by the selection.
"Friend of Dorothy's, eh Wally?" she asked.
Wally laughed. "A flaming fan," he replied. "Watch it, though, or I'll ask Harry in front of your parents whether you are a good witch, or a bad witch."
"Oy, quiet down," Ron said in between handfuls of popcorn. "I want to hear those munch-people sing."
Dorothy and company had made just made it to the Emerald City when Steve jumped up to the table, minimized the movie's window, and opened up a new feed. When Harry looked at the right monitor he understood why.
A black sedan had pulled into the Granger residence's drive.
The new video feed that Steve had opened was from inside the Granger residence. Wally had already repositioned himself in front of a separate computer, and was typing at a furious pace. Ten seconds later, an emerald-tinted image appeared on a monitor directly above the center screen.
"Satellite infra-red," Wally said simply.
"You've got a spy satellite taking pictures of our house?" Emily Granger asked incredulously.
"Not all of the time," Wally admitted. "I just repositioned it now."
Hermione looked at Wally in sheer wonder. So did Ron, although his was wonder as in "I wonder what in Merlin's name he's talking about."
Hermione didn't have time to explain, so she couched it in terms Ron could assimilate. "It's muggle magic, Ron…it lets you see things in the dark, based on the heat that different objects produce." She then got up and traced the outlines of streets and houses on the display screen for his benefit.
They all watched as a young woman that looked remarkably like Hermione and a man and woman got out of the car and walked inside the house.
"Tonks," Harry said in recognition.
Once inside Tonks and her Auror pretend parents shed their muggle jackets, drew their wands, and took up a defensive position around a shoe that one of them had taken out of a coat pocket. Moments later, the two Death Eaters crossed the street and approached the Granger residence. A large crack was heard from the inside feed just before the screen went black. Harry looked up and counted eight newly formed black spots within the infrared screen that were within the Granger residence footprint. Then, almost as suddenly, a large black spot that included the entire Granger property appeared on the satellite feed.
"They used magic of some sort," Wally said. "That black spots is magical interference with the infrared waves, and something fried the camera inside the house."
"A group must have apparated inside the house just before an anti-apparition ward was established," Harry reasoned.
"But were they good guys or bad guys, and who set the ward?" Ron asked.
"Good or Bad…can't tell based on their infrared profiles," Wally replied.
"Oh, I hope that Tonks isn't trapped," Emily Granger exclaimed.
"They're fine, I bet," Hermione said. "that shoe was most likely a port key."
Sure enough, just as the left monitor went to black the long-range street view on the right-side monitor showed three figures appearing across the street holding a shoe in their hand. They dropped the shoe and immediately fired spells towards the two Death Eaters on the Granger's doorstep. The next thing they new, there was an even larger black spot centered on the infrared view of the house.
"So," Ron decided, "the Aurors just overlapped their own anti-ap ward on top of the Death Eater's…and now that Tonks is out it is just Death Eaters that are trapped inside."
"Smooth," commented Steve.
Perhaps realizing their predicament, the Death Eaters blasted a huge hole out of the back of the house and tried to fight their way out. Several Aurors, however, were able to cut them down easily from well-fortified and hidden locations around the house perimeter.
The fight lasted all of three minutes from that point. In the end, two Aurors were down and being tended to while all of the Death Eaters were immobilized, bound, and spirited away. A second group of Aurors appeared on site; one group ran into the house while the second fanned out looking for muggles to obliviate, and setting up repellent charms up and down the block. Not five minutes later, the men that had been inside the house reappeared with bags over their shoulders and then disappeared once they'd cleared the wards. The Aurors that had been covering this movement themselves disappeared, until only the Obliviators were left. Two started to mend the gaping hole in the house wall, while the others stood guard. Once repairs were complete, someone cancelled the wards and then they themselves disappeared.
Ten minutes, two causalities, ten Death Eaters in custody. It seemed like a good day's work, even to Harry.
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