Chapter 8 - Late night visitors
A/N: With this chapter, the backlog is officially cleared. You've been warned. ;-)
On the bright side, it's extra-long. Don't know if it's extra-better…it's the first chapter to justify the Action/Adventure part of the story's descriptor, and I've found it much easier to write romantic comedy. Oh, well. Thanks in advance for the reviews, and if you tried to leave a review for the previous chapter but were blocked by the site, I'd love to hear your thoughts on chapter 7 as well.
Finally, sorry for the haphazard italics (particularly with spells)…had trouble getting them uploaded for some reason.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, no money being made, etc., etc.
Harry had anticipated a Dursley counteroffensive that night; he was surprised, therefore, when the first thing up the stairs wasn't his uncle, but a screech owl. The bird dropped a familiar looking envelope at Harry's feet not fifteen minutes after his watch began and flew off before he had the chance to stop it.
The message was all too familiar.
Dear Mr. Potter:
We have received intelligence that Finite Encantatem and Scourgify spells were used at twenty-three and twenty-four minutes past midnight within your Muggle-inhabited household.
Your wanton disregard for the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery has gone unchecked far too long. Ministry representatives will call on your residence shortly to destroy your wand. Any attempt to evade their administration of justice will be dealt with most severely.
Given your repeated violation of this Decree you should consider yourself expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the unlikely event that it opens this Fall. Furthermore, you are required to attend a disciplinary hearing at the Ministry of Magic at 9am on July 30, where additional disciplinary actions will no doubt be levied.
Enjoy the rest of your evening.
Dolores Umbridge
Office of the Minister of Magic
Harry exhaled a scatological request, then reluctantly woke Hermione.
"Oh Merlin," she said. "I cast those spells on my trunk and your Aunt and Uncle's bed clothes."
"Thought as much," Harry replied. "They detected magic use in the house and assumed that I was the only one here that could have cast that spell."
"Couldn't they just check our wands?" Hermione asked.
"Doubt that the echoes would be strong enough to show up resolved with Priori Incantatum…not that I expect they'll take time to look. It'll be Stupefy first and ask questions later."
They quickly identified their responses, both written and practical. Hermione scrawled a quick reply to send off with Hedwig while Harry roused his relatives.
"What the blazes?" said Vernon, "It wasn't enough for you to claim our bedrooms so now you claim our sleep?"
"Sorry," Harry replied, "but there a strong possibility that we may be under attack in a few minutes and I thought you might prefer the relative safety of the upstairs lavatory."
Petunia's face went white. "But I thought Lord Voldemort couldn't hurt you while you stayed in our house."
"That's right," said Harry. "You know that, I know that, but there's no guarantee that the bad guys know that. And even if they did, I doubt that my mother's protection extends over your heads as well."
The Dursleys didn't wait to argue with Harry's logic.
Brian, who had been awoken by Vernon's shouts, wanted to call the local police for help; Harry refused, saying that giving the nature of the visit Hermione and he needed to handle things themselves. He then suggested that Brian slip out of the house in order to keep the Royal connection quiet. Brian reluctantly agreed, but said that he'd be watching from a safe distance with cell phone in hand.
Harry took the rucksack that McGonagall had given him into the dining room and dumped its contents out; the contraband covered the table and spilt over onto the floor. He was tempted to grab the Sword of Gryffindor, but decided to try to keep the bloodshed to a minimum. Instead, three balls and a saucer-shaped item were tucked into his pockets. On a bit of inspiration, Harry activated the two pair of omnioculars and propped them up on a hallway shelf and the kitchen counter, so that they faced the front and rear entrances to the house respectively.
Harry looked up as Hermione entered the kitchen. She had changed into a dark sweater and black pants, with hair up in a loose ponytail and her wand out and ready.
"What happened to my little princess?" he asked.
"Laura Croft kicked her bum out of bed," she replied with determination.
"Time for a good luck bear hug, Dame Hermione?"
"'Fraid not, Sir Harry." She leaned forward and laid a quick kiss on his lips. "That will have to do."
Hermione ran down the hallway to take up a defensive position a few feet away from the front door. It took Harry a few seconds to shake off the shock of her kiss before he turned off the kitchen lights, and walked out to the rear steps. Turning back towards the kitchen, he reached into a pocket, and threw a ball marked "Swamp Surprise" onto the floor. Harry watched with no small amount of satisfaction as the thrown ball turned Aunt Petunia's spotless kitchen floor into muck. The "surprise" came two seconds later, when a concealment charm covered the swamp's surface with a perfect imitation of the original patterned linoleum.
Harry heard five distinct cracks as he circled around towards the front of the house. He groaned; it was two more than they had expected. Harry took up a position near the front corner of the house, hidden by invisibility cloak and shrub, and spotted a silvery otter as it scampered out the front door and sped off into the night.
It took a full minute for his guests to arrive; Harry noted with some satisfaction that the protective wards in place had forced them to apparate a good two blocks down the street. There were six in the party. Five moved with a purpose that screamed out "auror in action," while the sixth (who must have side-armed) lagged behind with a waddling gait. As they approached the house two of the black robed figures silently split off to the rear of the house. The other three waited for the laggard, who chose a position on the street curb, well away from the house.
They didn't bother to knock, unless you counted the Evansco incantation that made the front door disappear. Two of the men leapt into the doorframe and fired off stunning spells without any word or warning. Harry thought he heard a Protego called out, but wasn't sure it was done in time.
Harry reacted as soon as the stunners were released. The first ball he threw burst into a cloud of dust that enveloped the three men into pitch-black darkness. The three figures turned and fired spells in Harry's direction, but the Peruvian Instant Blackness Powder and Harry's cloak kept them from aiming with accuracy. When the second thrown ball broke, the men found themselves not only enveloped in darkness, but shoulder deep in the muck of a portable swamp. From the tenor of their voices they were not very pleased.
Harry yelled towards the front entrance. "Hermione, are you okay?"
Panicked by the lack of a reply, Harry grabbed the disc from his pocket and flung it against the house. He then dove through the hole that the portable door had created and tumbled into the living room. His heart sank when he saw Hermione crumpled up against the coat closet's door. When Harry called out to Hermione a second time her eyes opened. She immediately rolled over onto her stomach and dove behind the closet door as a red beam shot out through the blackened front entrance.
"I'm fine, Harry," she said, as she tried to loosen the bruised shoulder that was attached to her wand hand.
The crash of a Reducto spell against the back door kept Harry from asking a second question. He pulled the cloak back over his head and ran towards the kitchen. Harry heard someone yell "Clear!" and reached the doorway connecting the dining room to kitchen just as a robed figure cautiously entered the house. The man's first step sent him tumbling face-first into the faux linoleum.
His partner, who'd stayed at the threshold to cover his back, swore as he tried to both counteract the trap and guard against attack. With his attention focused in front of him, the attacker was surprised by the kick from behind that connected with his behind and sent him sprawling into the swamp. Harry saw the foot, but couldn't identify the supporter attached to it; the black-clothed figure disappeared without identifying himself.
Harry quickly refocused his attention on the two men in front of him, and their comic attempts to find solid ground. He threw the last ball in his pocket at the two men; the belching powder that enveloped them made saying anything coherent (like a counterspell) problematic. With the immediate threat neutralized, Harry squatted down under his cloak, wand now in hand, and waited.
Meanwhile, Hermione had cast a Levicorpus spell at the first sight of fingers reaching out from the darkness in search of solid ground. The attacker that was sent head under heels cast the counterspell before remembering where he would land. Upon hearing the splash Hermione realized what had happened and modified her defense by casting a freezing charm at the swamp's surface. The water froze fast enough that two of the three attackers were caught with ice-encased wand hands. The third was so busy trying to thaw his partners free that he caught the full force of the third Silencio spell that Hermione had cast blindly into the darkness.
With the threat of attack considerably lessened, Hermione cast a proprietary counterspell to the Peruvian Instant Blackness Powder that she'd helped the Weasley twins develop just two days prior (and two days after its lethal use during the attack on Hogwarts). Three quick Stupefy spells found their marks, as did the follow-up Accio wand spells. With three wands pocketed she ran towards the back of the house.
A disembodied arm caught Hermione before she went for a swim, which caused her to cast an off-balanced Protego as the two assailants tried to fire off curses at her. The combination of burped incantations and mud-covered wandtips, however, rendered this defense unnecessary; the spells fizzled and dribbled out through the wand tips. Hermione nailed the two men with Stupefy spells before they had the chance to clean their wands.
It wasn't until Hermione had Accio'd their two mucked-up wands that Harry remembered about Umbridge. They both vaulted back to the front entrance and aimed their wands out towards the street in search of a target.
What they found were two wizards sitting on a bench eating popcorn.
"Fred…George?" Hermione called out.
"Nope, just the cavalry," said Fred.
"Nice show," added George, as he threw a few kernels into his mouth. "We give it two thumbs up."
"You really should have sprung for the Deluxe version of the swamp, though," said Fred. "The crocodiles are worth every extra galleon."
"We're fine, thank you very much," Hermione said sarcastically as she and Harry lowered their wands and carefully skated across the icy surface towards the twins.
"Didn't happen to run into Dolores Umbridge on the way in, did you?" Harry asked.
"Oh, we're on top of that situation," replied George.
"Yeah," added Fred with a grin, "wouldn't want to be accused of sitting down on the job."
As Hermione and Harry reached the street curb they saw that the twins were speaking with characteristic literalism. The "bench" they were sitting on was, in fact, the rigid frame of the former Hogwarts High Inquisitor, levitated two feet off the ground.
"You two are too cruel," Hermione said with a laugh, "but probably not too comfortable."
"It's not so bad," said Fred, as he shifted on his seat.
"Just have to wiggle a bit to get around the lumpy bits," added George. "Popcorn?"
"Erm, no thanks," said Harry. "So did she put up a fight?"
"Dunno," said Fred. "She was standing stunned when we got here."
"Must have caught a stray spell," Hermione surmised, as she looked back at other three rigid bodies.
George tilted his popcorn bag out in a futile hunt for popped kernels amongst the duds. Giving up, he looked up at Hermione. "So can we play with your swampcycles?"
"No," said Hermione impatiently, "playtime is over. Don't need the muggle neighbors seeing any more than they need to."
"Yes, mum," was the sing-songed reply, as the twins rose to help Harry and Hermione clean up. It only took a minute to banish the swamps, repair the windows and doors, and levitate the six rigid assailments into the living room.
"How did you guys get here," asked Harry, as they regrouped inside. "How did you know we were even here?"
"Didn't you read the note on your trunk?" Fred asked.
"Erm, no," Harry replied, fingering the unread parchment in his jeans pocket with some embarrassment.
"We drew short straws at dinner."
"This was a Weasley operation?" asked Harry.
"Still think Charlie enlarged his straw," Fred muttered to his twin.
"Yeah, not like he hasn't had years of practice."
"Anyway," continued Fred, "we got here and place was quiet, so we left the note saying we were at Arabella's and to ring her on the jelly-phone when you arrived."
"But I didn't," Harry said.
"No, but I did," Hermione interjected.
"When?"
"When I heard all of the apparations…thought it was time to ring Mrs. Figg's for some help."
"Anyone ever tell you that you were one smart witch?" asked Harry.
"Oh," said Hermione with a grin, "I've heard that once or twice."
Their banter was interrupted McGonagall's patronus, who leapt into the living room and curled up around Hermione's leg.
"Oh foo, playtime's over," said Fred.
"Yeah, the adults have arrived," added George.
"Hey Harry," Fred asked, "can we take a look at your toys?"
"Sure," said Harry. "Probably a good idea to put them away for the night."
"We can take care of that," George replied.
As Fred and George excused themselves to sort out the dining room mess Harry pulled the hoods back from the heads of their captives. He immediately recognized two; Dolores Umbridge and a tough-looking, wiry-haired wizard that he'd had run-ins with before.
"Good evening, Dawlish," said Harry. "Assuming, of course, you are Dawlish and not some polyjuiced Death Eater."
The auror rigidly raged.
"Oops," said Hermione. She cast binding charms on the immobilized figures, then counteracted the Silencio and Stupefy spells. Dawlish's mouth was mobilized in mid-rant.
"..care if you think you're the greatest thing since butterbeer you're going to Azkaban for this one, boy!"
"Over a simple Scourgify spell?" asked Harry, with a grin on his face.
"No," Dawlish replied, "for attacking an auror and resisting arrest."
"Aren't we getting ahead of ourselves?" asked Hermione from across the room. "Expect Headmistress to be here shortly."
"To do what," asked Harry, "laugh at their ineptitude? An entire auror team, brought down by two Hogwarts students using nothing more than a few second year spells and pranks from a joke shop?"
"You knew why we were here," Umbridge spat out. "You got the owl…underage magic use…you resisted arrest."
"No," said Hermione. "Well, actually, yes - we did get the owl message, but you should have gotten our reply, and in any event you can hardly claim that we resisting arrest when they made no effort to identify themselves as aurors in the first place."
A flash of twirling light appeared behind them, out from which strode Headmistress McGonagall and Gawain Robards, the current Head of the Auror Department.
"Was her orders," mumbled one of the other glum-looking men, before he realized that there were more ears listening.
"Really?" asked the tall, badged wizard who had just portkeyed alongside Headmistress McGonagall. "And what exactly were those orders?"
"To collect and break the wand of this underage liar," exclaimed Umbridge, as she pointed her triple chin towards Harry. "And to defend themselves if need be from any illegal and foolish attempts to resist enforcement of the rule of law."
"Oh, shove it, Dolores," said McGonagall, with uncharacteristic fervor. "Hermione, will you please explain to everyone what happened here tonight?"
Hermione quickly summarized the events of the previous hour; her Finite and Scourgify spells, the Ministry's owl post, and subsequent attack. Both she and Harry handed their wands over to the Head Auror for his review. As Harry had predicted, however, the spells that had last been cast hadn't been dark enough or strong enough to leave discernible residue.
When Umbridge shrieked about the spells Harry had no doubt used that evening Harry denied using his wand while Hermione tried to force Dawlish to admit that the aurors hadn't identified themselves before they attacked. Instead, Dawlish claimed just the opposite, and accused Harry and Hermione of opening fire first. The other aurors remained silent - they were in enough trouble as it was for their incompetence; they didn't want to add insubordination to the list.
When Harry and Hermione accused Dawlish of lying, Umbridge told them in no uncertain terms to prove it…and if they didn't want time added to their stay at Azkaban to immediately remove their bindings. Harry decided at that point that enough was enough. He retrieved the two pair of omnioculars and handed them to the Headmistress and Head Auror.
Hermione smile when she realized what Harry had done. "You are so..."
"Busted." Harry said simply.
The Headmistress and Head Auror took the omnioculars, then rewound and replayed what had previously been recorded. Auror Robards looked over at Harry during his review.
"Where were the muggles that live in this house during the attack?"
"Upstairs in the loo," Harry replied. "They're still up there."
The Auror nodded and traded omnioculars with McGonagall to gain the other perspective. When he was finished reviewing the two recordings, the Head Auror walked over to Harry and Hermione and returned their wands.
"On behalf of at least my little portion of the Ministry of Magic," he said, "I wish to extend a sincere apology for the abhorrent behavior displayed here tonight. There was no excuse for it."
"Erm, thank you sir." Harry replied.
The Head Auror took a small card from a pocket in his robes, touched it with his wand, and handed it to Hermione. "Miss Granger, here is the contact information in case you wish to press charges against these men. I've added my secured floo location information on the back if you have any problems with the paperwork. Our internal investigation on tonight's activity will be completed within the next few days, and I'll make sure that you have a copy of the final report."
"Thank you, sir," Hermione replied.
The auror then turned to Harry. "Your Headmistress informs me that Miss Granger intends to stay here through the summer. Rest assured, the detection of anything short of an unforgivable within these walls will be interpreted as having come from her wand." He jerked his head towards Umbridge. "You will not be bothered by the likes of her again, if I have anything to say about it."
He then turned towards the team of hit wizards with their wands bundled in his outstretched hand.
"If we weren't so short-handed I'd snap these wands myself. Right here. Right now."
The five muddy and bound Aurors looked up with shock.
"As it is, we need every wand we can get, even when they are so poorly and unlawfully wielded… Dawlish!"
"Yes, sir."
"As of now, you and your team are suspended from active operations. It'll be desk duties for the lot of you while the investigation takes place. But don't wait for the investigation's end to start packing your bags; whether it be as guest or guard, you're heading to Azkaban."
The hit wizards's shock was redoubled.
"And as for you, Dolores," he said icily, as he turned towards her, "I have, unfortunately, no direct control over you. Merlin knows what keeps you in power at the Ministry…however, on the way here the Headmistress described some allegations of unforgivable use and other illegal acts during your tenure at Hogwarts. I will be investigating these allegations myself. If they bear out you may plan on feeling the full fury of the Auror Department raining down upon your toady-little head."
Umbridge's retort was silenced by McGonagall's wand.
"Thank you, Minerva," the Auror said. "Now, I believe that your students have been bothered enough for one night."
He placed his wandtip on his Auror's badge and muttered an incantation. The badge started to flash on and off as he placed it down on the living room's coffee table. He then banished the ropes that bound the hit wizards and Umbridge. The aurors morosely reached down to touch the badge as their Head grabbed Dolores's elbow roughly and did the same. A second later, they vanished as the portkey was activated.
"I think it time for me to take my leave as well," Headmistress McGonagall said. She handed the omnioculars to Harry. "A very creative, if unorthodox, defense Mr. Potter." She then turned towards Hermione. "As for you Miss Granger, some fine spellcasting. I have to ask, however, where you learned to cast a Levicorpus spell. I don't recall it being on the Hogwarts standard list of spells."
"Erm…Professor Lupin taught it to me, Headmistress."
"I see," McGonagall said, with her eyes narrowing just a bit. "Please take care, Miss Granger, when casting spells not found on the standard list. Mr. Potter might share with you the consequences that sometimes arise out of freelance spellcasting."
"Yes, ma'am," Hermione said rather contritely.
"Headmistress," Harry cut in, "how did you get Head Auror Robards to come with you…do you think he's trustworthy?"
"Well," said McGonagall, "let's just say that Gawain is a friend of the family. And yes, I believe that you can trust his intentions. Whether he actually has the political capital to boot Umbridge from the Ministry is a different question, though."
At the sound of a soft knock on the new front door, Headmistress McGonagall morphed into her animagus form and took her leave out the back. Hermione and Harry heard a distinct hiss from the dining room as they opened the front door and let a relieved Queen's man back into the house. Brian's reappearance reminded Harry that his relatives were still up in the loo; he went upstairs to give them the all-clear as well.
"We repacked your goody bag," Fred said, as he handed Harry the rucksack.
"But not before we labeled everything that was ours or that we knew about, though," added George. "Hope you don't mind, but there were a couple of items we didn't recognize…wondered if maybe we could bring them back to the lab for a look-see."
"Sure," said Harry, "no problem. While you're at it, can you send me a few more swamps? I kind of liked playing with those tonight."
"Consider it done," said George, just as the Dursleys crept back down the stairs.
"Hello, there," the twins said in unison.
At the sight of Fred and George all three of the Dursleys recoiled, and Dudley broke out into a whimper.
"Nice to see you again, Dudley," said Fred.
Dudley jumped back up a few stairs and whimpered some more.
"What's a matter, Dudley, cat got your tongue?" asked George.
"Or maybe you're just a bit tongue-tied?" added Fred.
"Now boys," said Hermione, "don't scare our hosts. They need to come down the stairs so that we can go back up the stairs and to bed."
"Okay," said Fred. "We'll just have a sit on the front steps, then. Don't mind us."
"They're staying too?" asked Petunia anxiously.
"Erm, just for the night, as a watch," said Harry. "Unless, of course, you'd like to see them more often?"
Three heads shook sideways with great vigor.
"Right then," said Brian, "shall we try this once again?"
As the Dursleys set up again in the living room and Brian repaired to the guest bedroom, Harry walked Hermione to the master bedroom's door.
"With Fred and George here you are going to try and get some sleep, right?" Hermione asked.
"I guess so," Harry replied.
"Erm, do you want me to Scourgify Dudley's sheets?" she asked.
"No thanks," Harry replied. Not that I don't trust Auror Robards's word, but why test things so soon?"
"Good point," Hermione said, with a bit of nervous laughter in her voice. "So…your Aunt and Uncle's sheets are clean…"
"Thanks, Hermione," Harry quickly interrupted, "but I'll be fine in Dudley's room."
"Oh," said Hermione, "Sure. No problem…So….good night, Sir Harry."
Harry took her hands in his and grinned. "Sweet dreams, princess."
Harry gave each of her hands a gentle squeeze, then let go as he headed into Dudley's room. It wasn't until he closed the door that he let out a deep breath. Scowling at Dudley's sheets, he ripped them off the bed and flipped the mattress for good measure. He thought about heading back downstairs to give Fred and George the "reading material" that he found stashed beneath Dudley's mattress, but didn't dare head back out to the hallway.
Had he done so, he would have found Hermione still there, standing at the threshold with the fingertips of one hand touching the door and whispered words touching her lips.
"Sweet dreams, my handsome prince."