Chapter 7 - Karma's Little Helpers
Disclaimer: Not my characters, no money being made, etc., etc.
The Palace had made arrangements for Hermione's parents to spend the night at the Savoy. Mr. and Mrs. Granger had amazed their daughter with their willingness to let her spend the night at the Dursleys. It had, in fact, been harder to convince Harry; he had argued quite strongly that she should be with her family. He only relented after Hermione promised that she would spend the following day with her parents.
The Dursleys were not at all thrilled at the prospect of Hermione's stay, but it was impressed upon them that they had no say in the matter. Vernon nearly popped the collar button of his dress shirt when he learned that Brian Willox, the Palace staff member that had coordinated the knighting ceremony, was also going to be staying with them. Brian noted that "the Queen wished to ensure that Sir Harry's stay wasn't an inconvenience."
When it became clear that the Queen's wishes alone weren't going to hold sway, Brian gave Vernon a list of twenty people with connections to the Royal family of some sort. Four had been knighted, twelve had dined with a member of the Royal Family in the previous two years, eighteen belonged to the same club as a Royal, three had children with royal godparents; one of them was even two-hundred thirty seventh on the royal succession list. These people all had one more thing in common, however.
Each and every one of them had the power to ruin Vernon's career at Grunnings -his supervising director, three
members of the Grunnings corporate board, a half dozen board members from Grunnings's corporate parent, key
decision makers from their eight largest accounts. Any of them could put Vernon on the curb.
Vernon Dursley was too stupid to be afraid of magical threats, but he was plenty smart enough to recognize why the list
was provided for his review. It was blackmail; pure, simple and effective. Familiar as well; Vernon had been no
stranger to similar tactics as he had climbed up the Grunnings corporate ladder.
He returned the sheet of paper to Brian very quietly.
With an eye towards getting the blood protections back in place as soon as possible, Aunt Petunia was asked to join Harry, Hermione and Brian for the trip to Number 4 Privet Drive. Vernon and Dudley rode home in the back of a trailing van. Hermione had thought to pop over to The Burrow to update Ron until Harry told her about the Headmistress's concerns about apparations. As an alternative, they had the driver take them to the Leaky Cauldron, where they used the floo connection to call the Burrow.
Molly almost hugged Harry's purple-flamed face; they hadn't gotten his note until they had returned from St. Mungo's. Ron had already gone to bed, and she didn't want to wake him. Deciding then to wait until morning to update Ron, Harry asked her to send Hedwig on to the Dursleys.
Though neither of them mentioned it to the other, both Harry and Hermione had concluded that Ginny had said nothing to her mother about the break up. There was, in fact, so much they wanted to share with each other, but with Aunt Petunia sitting across from them once they returned to the car they chose instead to learn more about Brian Willox, their new companion.
He answered their questions in a straightforward, but slightly reticent manner, acting as if the details of his life should be unimportant to those he'd been assigned to serve. At the age of 38, Brian Willox had just recently been awarded his twenty year's service pin as a member of the royal staff. He was the latest in a long line of Willoxes to work at the Palace; his great-great grandfather Edwin had been a groomsman in the early years of Victoria's reign. Brian had started as a cook's assistant in the kitchens, and after ten years had worked his way up to the position of associate chef. In what he considered a beneficent stroke of luck, one of the Queen's grandchildren had made it a habit to sneak into the kitchens, and over time had taken a liking to Brian. That relationship led to a position on the personal staff of the Prince's family, where he had worked ever since. While Brian had no immediate family, he did have a family member whose occupation no doubt had something to do with his new assignment.
His younger sister, Christina, was a muggle-born witch that ran a Wizard's Bed and Breakfast in Coventry.
"Oh my," Hermione exclaimed, when she learned this news, "so that means you're a card-carrying muggle?"
"Yes indeed, Dame Hermione," Brian said, as he fished a small card from his billfold and handed it to her.
Harry leaned over to get a glimpse. At first glance it appeared to be a "Loyal Customer" discount card for a chain of muggle home electronic stores. With a tap of Hermione's wand, however, the card morphed into a parchment containing magical images of Brian and his sister, their names and addresses, and the following text:
The muggle bearer of this parchment is an immediate family member of a witch or wizard citizen of the United Kingdom of Magical Great Britain. As such, they may lawfully retain knowledge of the wizarding world and possess magical items in quantities up to those limits established by Exemption 13.B subpart (f) of Protection of Muggles Act and the International Confederation of Wizards' Statute of Secrecy.
Amelia Bones, Head
Department of Magical Law Enforcement
The United Kingdom of Magical Great Britain
"Wow," said Harry, "I've never seen one of these before."
"Really?" asked Hermione. "That's a bit odd. My parents got their cards the day after I accepted my invitation to attend Hogwarts."
They looked up at Petunia, who was trying desperately to feign ignorance of their conversation and its content. "Yes, we received those cards as well," she finally replied. "About as easy to ignore as those blasted invitations."
Harry wanted to ask Brian more about what he knew, and who else at the Palace was in the know, but hesitated with Petunia sitting across from him. When Brian finished describing his background Hermione urged Harry to close his eyes for a few minutes' rest. Without asking, Brian took Crookshanks out of his travel box, placed the box on the floor and lifted Crookshanks onto his lap. This freed up the bench space between Harry and Hermione, so that when Harry did close his eyes, and his head dropped to the side, it landed on her shoulder. Hermione looked at Brian and quietly offered him her thanks. He smiled and nodded his head slightly. Crookshanks, happily getting the spot under his left ear scratched, looked up at Brian and purred his thanks as well.
It only took Petunia a few seconds to destroy the "one big happy back seat" vibe. Demonstrating that she lacked any of Brian's reserve, she hissed out at Hermione.
"Are you Harry's girlfriend?" she demanded. "Because if you are, or if you think that even with the Queen's favor I will allow you two to sleep together under my roof, then you are sorely mistaken."
Hermione sat quietly for a few seconds, until she was reasonably certain that she could put Harry's aunt in her place without waking him. When she turned towards Petunia, Harry's head swung off her shoulder and into her lap. Without thinking, she removed Harry's eyeglasses and cradled his head with her left hand as she launched into a response.
"Petunia, If I share a bed with Harry tonight it will be because somebody needs to be within arms reach to get him through the nightmares and night terrors that he has suffered all of these years. Merlin knows he can't count on you to do that."
Petunia's indignant reply of "Well I've never…" was immediately cut off by "and that's half the problem!."
"If I sleep next to Harry tonight it will be because somebody needs to watch his back. Somebody he can trust to be there. To be there if or when the evil that killed your sister, and his father… and the evil that killed Albus Dumbledore last week decides to come knocking on your door."
Petunia gasped at the news of Dumbledore's death. Brian felt the air temperature drop precipitously and asked the driver to turn off the air conditioning.
"No, Petunia," Hermione continued, "I am not Harry's girlfriend. But I am everything else. I am Harry's Guardian Angel, I am his comrade in arms and I am his devoted friend."
Brian felt air moving against his face and was alarmed to see that Hermione's hair begin to sway out as a breeze began to circulate around the cabin in a clockwise direction. Something was definitely wrong with the car's ventilation system.
"I am his rock just as he is my shield. Get between us and you will get squished."
Brain noticed that her eyes were on fire and there was a silvery glow building behind her wind-swept hair.
"I am the mother bear protective of her cub. Try to separate me from him and you will get mauled."
Brian began to compare his present experience against select scenes from various horror movies.
"From everything Harry has told me you and your family have made Harry's life a living hell for the past sixteen years. Well, not this summer, Petunia…not this summer. Because I am Lily Evans Potter back from the dead and your day of reckoning has arrived!"
Unsure if that kind of channeling was actually possible in the wizarding world, Petunia slid as far away as she could and still be riding in the car. Hermione took a deep breath and paused. The storm that had literally been brewing in the back seat passed, and Brian noticed that the electric tension in the air had somehow been drained. Deciding to punctuate her remarks, Hermione pulled out her wand and casually rested it on Harry's side, and adopted a sweet, conversational voice that seemed all the more sinister when juxtaposed against the tone of her previous comments.
"Oh, and Petunia, dear," she said, "in case you didn't clue into the fact that we weren't pestered by Ministry owls when I transfigured your dress, I am seventeen and an adult in Harry's world. I am sure you realize what that means."
Petunia's eyes went wide and she tried to swallow the sanctimonious retort that she had been mentally rehearsing during Hermione's scolding. Crookshanks relaxed and pushed his ear against Brian's hand. He got his wish, as Brian silently tried to gauge whether Hermione was going to make his job easier or harder.
Hermione's eyes moved towards the side window and out into the night, as she tried to figure out where the uncharacteristic passion and fury had come from and where it went during Petunia's dressing down.
Harry's eyes stayed firmly shut. He had heard it all, but understood far less.
Harry had felt the magic straining to burst out from Hermione, and had feared what might happen if it went unchecked. With all of the concentration he could muster, he had tried to absorb that magic like a lightening rod. He had no idea how he had done it, but he was certain that he had succeeded.
How else could he explain the elation that was burning within him? It was if he had swallowed a river of Fawkes's tears….his mind was racing, there was energy surging from the top of his scalp down to the tips of his toes. There was warmth within him that was as extreme in its extent as the grief that had gripped him at the beginning of the day.
It was Hermione's magic that made him feel that way - that, or her fingers running through his hair as his head rested in her lap.
Harry felt guilty about maintaining the ruse, but was in too good of a mood to test the alternative hypothesis.
He kept his eyes shut.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
It was half eleven by the time they pulled up to Number 4 Privet Drive. Harry reluctantly sat up and looked out at the house. He fully expected that the structural evidence of his childhood abuse would still be visible; as a precaution, he made Hermione promise to wait until morning before hexing anyone into the next century.
Once Vernon opened the front door they almost tripped over Harry's trunk which had been placed in the front entranceway. Harry pocketed a small piece of parchment attached to the trunk and proceeded to give Brian and Hermione a quick tour of the house. Meanwhile, the Dursleys searched in the kitchen for some normalcy and a bite to eat.
Harry had expected Hermione to rage at the sight of the cupboard and his bedroom door, so he was surprised by her tears. She sobbed quietly as she poked her head under the stairs and tried to imagine spending a childhood there. Tears filled her eyes as she opened and closed each of the four separate locks that could keep someone inside Harry's bedroom but not keep anyone out. The tears trailed down her cheeks when she pushed the cat flap in and out and tried to imagine how anyone could be cruel enough to use it to feed their sister's son.
It was Brian that provided the outrage. Terms like child abuse and parental negligence were quietly hurled about amongst a heaping handful of invective. That people could treat any child that poorly was criminal; that they did it to someone in the Queen's favor was worse. He was halfway to ringing the police before Harry took him aside and explained a few things.
Brian didn't understand why Harry needed to stay with people who had treated him so badly; they could have been back to the Palace for a good night's rest within the hour. But Brian accepted Harry's decision to stay without question. They were staying, most likely for two weeks, and he would simply make sure that over that fortnight Harry would be treated far better than what he'd ever experienced under his Aunt and Uncle's care. And if that meant that over that same period of time the Dursleys had it worse than ever before - well, he had no problem being karma's little helper.
Brian had the opportunity to quickly discuss his plan with Hermione when Harry opened his bedroom window to let in a slightly flustered Hedwig. It didn't take Hermione any time at all to warm to either Brian or his ideas.
When Harry returned they walked back down to the kitchen and announced a house meeting. Vernon and Petunia sat at the kitchen table silent and ashen-faced. Dudley was oblivious to the fact that there was a new sheriff in town, and was whining about his desire to go to bed. Hermione changed his complexion to match that of his parents with the simple phrase "oink-oink."
With the defenses of each of the Dursleys suitably softened, Harry witnessed Hermione and Brian deliver a withering shock and awe attack.
There were no survivors.
When the meeting ended, Brian positioned himself at the base of the stairs and adjusted his watch to timer mode. On his mark, Dudley dragged Harry's trunk into his own room and then scavenged from his closet some clothes and as many potentially incriminating objects he could find. Petunia jumped up the stairs and rushed to the master bedroom to empty (as best she could) their closet's contents into two trunks. Vernon ran out to the car to get Brian's trunk, which he then dragged up into Harry's old bedroom. Hermione and Harry watched the flurry of events from the living room sofa with bemused expressions.
Brian's signal after three minutes time brought everyone together again. On a request from Petunia, an extra fifteen seconds time was allowed to retrieve some bedclothes and blankets from the upstairs linen closet, which she used to make up the living room couch. There had been some thought to storing the Dursley's trunks under the stairs before it was made clear that they might make Dudley's fit even tighter.
Brian, Hermione and Harry left the Dursleys to fend for themselves and retreated to the upstairs.
Brian took the guest bedroom for the night; neither Harry nor Hermione wanted him to sleep in Harry's old bedroom room until Vernon had replaced the door. Dudley had left his bedroom a shambles, but Harry had no plans on sleeping anyway; he was still too jazzed from the day's events and the ride home from the Palace.
Hermione and Brian protested against Harry's plans to stand watch for the night, but he said it was the least that he could do after what they had just done for him. He expressed amazement that the Dursleys had surrendered so quickly and completely, and feared that there might be a reprisal. Brian told Harry that he thought that possibility was remote; the Dursleys were bullies, and bullies became cowards when faced with the righteous use of power. But Harry insisted, and backed his intentions by dragging the chair from Dudley's seldom-used desk into the hallway and taking a seat.
After Hermione told Harry that she'd take his place early in the morning, she went into the master bedroom, enlarged her trunk and unpacked her night clothes. When she looked more closely at the bedroom furniture she noticed with amusement that the bed and dressers were knockoffs in the same style as the antique furniture she had seen and sat on at Buckingham Palace.
Hermione walked towards the bed but her hand recoiled when she reached to turn down the bed cover. There was a whiff of bleach in the air that matched the stringent, aseptic appearance of the room. Did she really want to sleep in Vernon and Petunia's bed? Not really, but if it kept them from being comfortable tonight then she would. Any chance that Petunia had changed the bed clothes when she was up here earlier? Shuttering at the thought, she raised her wand and cast a Scourgify spell on the sheets before she tucked in for the night.
She was asleep almost before her head hit the newly cleaned pillowcase.