Muggle Summer
Disclaimer: Not my characters, no money being made, etc., etc.
Chapter 38: The Birth of a Jr. Marauder
1:30pm, Monday, June 26
Queen's Wizard's Quarters
Buckingham Palace
Harry Potter felt rather guilty that he hadn't told Hermione about the marriage contracts. He had planned on doing so during lunch, but the romantic atmosphere engineered to soften the blow of that revelation had gotten the best of them. Next thing he knew, they were snogging in his newly assigned bedroom at Buckingham (and he didn't want to ruin any of that). She had then dashed back Gringott's to continue her work with the goblins, making him feel even more guilty about stealing her away from her ward work.
Harry suspected that things would be worse, now that the first chance to tell her had come and gone. Best he could do was rationalize the need to find out more about these contracts before the next chance came at dinnertime. But who to talk to? It was the kind of problem that he'd bring to Hermione first, but that wouldn't do. Ron was clearly out…Harry loved him like a brother, but this was another one of those times when his Champion's jump to jealousy might get the best of him. The ideal candidate would be a married wizard that Harry trusted, but the only one to fit that bill was Arthur Weasley, and he was clearly out given that Ginny's name was on the list.
And so it was that Harry reluctantly sat up in his new bed and decided to call Remus Lupin (whose conflict of interest was almost as bad as Arthur's). With assurances that Harry wasn't interrupting his afternoon, Remus badge-jumped and immediately dropped to one knee.
"My liege," he intoned.
"Oh knock it off, Remus," Harry scolded, as he rose from his seat on the mattress edge. "It's either `Just Harry' or a hex for you."
The former DADA professor broke out into a grin as he stood. That grin grew wider as he took in his surroundings.
"So Harry," Remus asked, "did I ever tell you about my nights on patrol as Gryffindor Prefect?"
Wondering why his former professor was raising this topic, Harry shook his head.
"Quite something," Remus continued. "With my were-enhanced sense of smell I always knew when pheromones and bra hooks were being released behind closed broom closet doors."
It only took Harry a few moments to catch on, and to realize that his recently used bedroom might not have been the best place to receive a guest. Waffling between acute embarrassment and roguish camaraderie, Harry decided to put on the brave front.
"Down, boy," he replied, "or do I need to mark my new territory?"
Remus broke out into a hearty laugh. "No worries, Alpha," he said in reassurance. "Although it would be great fun to watch you pee around the perimeter of the Palace."
Harry rolled his eyes as he grabbed Remus's elbow and showed him around the new apartment. Of particular note were two large walk-in closets. Harry guided his mentor to a section that bore his name and handed him a clothes hanger.
"Thought we'd grab a cup of tea in the Mess," he explained.
Remus nodded as he shed his robe and hung it on the bar next to a bespoke shirt and tailored suit. Hanging next to the suit were black combat fatigues, and two wizard's robes (one plain and one formal). Looking down his black trousers and lightweight sweater, he snorted and asked, "Do I need to change into that fancy muggle wear?"
Harry gave Remus the once-over and smiled. "Good enough to throw on just the jacket…it'll give you someplace to hang your credentials." As he handed over both the jacket and a security badge, Harry explained that each member of the Order of Arthur had his or her own sets of clothing to facilitate travel between the muggle and wizarding worlds. Similar mini-staging areas were planned for Hogwarts, the back of Fred and George's shop, the Round Tower, and the Farm.
"Five sets of clothing?" Remus asked. "Harry, you don't need to do that. I mean, at the very least I can transfigure my clothing whenever there's a need."
Harry shook his head. "Not happening, my friend," he replied. "The Queen insists that her Order be properly uniformed at her expense. Some of us could transfigure, sure, but Wally, Steve and the Granger's can't." He then added, "And in any event these outfits are more than they might seem."
Remus cocked his head as he slipped on the jacket and took a closer look. It was slightly heavier than he expected, and hung a bit stiffly, as if there were something between the wool fabric and silk lining.
"An inch-and-a-half of steel-reinforced Kevlar, magically thinned and lightened," Harry said. He then explained what Kevlar was, and noted that MI-5 ¾ testing had proven that the material's stopping power hadn't been compromised by the magical alterations.
"So this would protect me from what, exactly?" Remus asked.
Harry grinned. "Oh, not much…knives, swords, bullets..."
"Expecting to fight against muggles, are we?" Remus asked with a confused smile.
"Not really," Harry explained. He then surprised Remus by withdrawing the Sword of Gryffindor from its hidden scabbard and whacking it against the werewolf's wand arm. "But I imagine any magical opponents I face might wish they were muggles if I catch them without something similar on."
Remus winced from the sword's impact. While the Kevlar had completely stopped the blade from slicing through his arm, it hadn't cushioned against the blunt force behind the sword stroke. Embarrassed by his failure to maintain his guard, Remus gritted his teeth and struggled not to rub the area bruised by the attack. As he sheathed his sword Harry noted that Fred and George had also added the same shield charms used on the robes they had sold to the Ministry.
As the two left the apartment, Harry told Remus that the muggle identification badges would be needed whenever they ventured beyond his quarters (the same held for trips outside of the Round Tower at Windsor). He also informed Remus that his badge identified him as a member of Palace security, and that he'd need to wear an earpiece similar to the one worn during the Battle of Ascot, if for nothing else than show.
Harry's functional earpiece and transmitter came in handy when he got turned around on his way to the Mess. He could, of course, have used his badge to get directions from Steve, but there were muggles about in the hallways. With Steve's aid it only took them a few minutes to reach a mess hall strikingly similar to the one Harry visited so often at Windsor. As it was between lunchtime and teatime, the two found it easy to find a table where they could chat without need of privacy charms. Five minutes later, they were settled in with tea and fresh-baked scones.
After complimenting the service, Remus asked, "So I imagine you wanted me here to do more than dress me and show off your bachelor pad?"
The Queen's Wizard snorted. "Most definitely, Remus." After the few seconds of silence that accompanied a bite of biscuit, he off-handedly said, "I had an interesting chat with my Gringott's advisor this morning."
"About your financial situation?"
"Amongst other things," Harry replied with a smile. He took a moment to pique some interest, then asked, "So what can you tell me about wizard world marriage contracts?"
Remus choked a bit on his tea, just barely managing to avoid a spray. "Have the goblins added matchmaking to their portfolio of services?"
Harry chuckled as he shook his head and began to recount his conversation with Griphook. Lupin was pleased to learn that Lily and James hadn't agreed to any binding betrothal agreements, but lost it at the idea of Harry having to deal with open-ended marriage contracts.
"So did Griphook tell you how many open offers there were?"
Harry nodded, and told him. Remus couldn't help but spray upon hearing the number.
"Forty-seven?" he exclaimed, loud enough to catch the attention of staff standing on the other side of the room.
Harry shushed his friend, and nodded.
Remus stated, "As a muggle-born witch I take it Hermione's parents weren't involved?"
Harry nodded in confirmation.
"So what did she think about all this?" Remus asked.
"That's the thing," Harry replied sheepishly. "I had the chance to tell her during lunch, but couldn't bring myself to do it."
Lupin squinted at Harry. "But you both found time enough to work up a sweat, eh?"
Harry nodded. "Well, yes…I was going to tell her, but we just got carried away a bit, and…"
"And now you're worried about what she'll say not just about the offers, but the fact that you didn't immediately tell her."
Harry sighed. "Right in one."
Remus scratched his head. "Don't know quite what to say, cub. I mean…my experience with witches isn't any longer than yours….So what made you hesitate?"
"Besides the fact that she was making doe eyes at me all during lunch?"
"Erm…yes."
"Oh…well…."
"Do you know which witches we're talking about?"
Harry nodded. "Only a few," he noted. "It seems like just about every pure-blood family with an unattached female under the age of sixty has made an offer.
Remus nodded in understanding as he mentally reviewed his class lists.
"I mean, really," Harry spouted. "what were my parents thinking?"
Remus paused before replying. "Your mum and dad never mentioned anything about marriage contracts for you, cub…besides the fact that they had rejected binding offers from the Malfoy and Nott families.
With a questioning look, Harry said, "Well if that's the case then why is there a Malfoy on the list?"
Remus shook his head. "Dunno, Harry. It could be that those open offers were extended after your parents's deaths." He then snorted. "Didn't realize the Malfoys had a daughter to marry off, although I wouldn't put it past them to offer up Draco for the right amount of money and power."
Harry shuddered at the thought. "I asked Griphook about that…apparently there's a line of Malfoys still in France."
"Makes sense, I guess," Remus replied. He then said, "If it helps any, I do know that your father fought tooth and nail to avoid one of these contracts so that he could marry your mum."
"He did?"
Remus nodded. "It was a right mess. Words were spoken between James and your grandfather that never had opportunity to be taken back before either of them…well…"
After trailing off, Remus's eyes lit up. "But that would matter, here, right? As Head of Family, you could reject all of these open offers out of hand."
When Harry nodded, Remus asked a logical follow-up. "So what's the problem? Is there somebody on the list that you fancy?"
Harry shook his head forcefully. "Of course not."
"So what's the problem telling Hermione? It's not as if you asked for these contracts, right?"
Harry shook his head once more. "Guess I'm worried that Hermione would insist I consider the potential benefits of family alliances."
Remus waved his hand dismissively. "Please, Harry…have a little faith in Hermione. And if not faith, at least a sense of humor…I mean, what other teen-aged wizard has that many offers?"
"Haven't a clue," Harry replied. He paused, then gave Remus a evil look. "Think I should have a sense of humor about all this, eh?"
"Most definitely."
Harry chuckled as he retrieved a small parchment scroll from an inside coat pocket. As he handed it across the table he snarked, "Let me see your sense of humor after read through the list."
Remus nodded and began to scan down the scroll. Harry was dead on with respect to comprehensiveness. All the big family names were there, including more than a few aligned with Voldemort. "Cornelius Fudge's daughter, now there's a match," he thought to himself. Most of the specific witch's names were unfamiliar to him; Remus guessed they might be older sisters (or the spinster aunts) of Harry's classmates.
Two names caught his eye. "So you've been offered your choice of the Patil girls?" he asked.
Harry shook his head and sighed. "Not just my choice of one, but under the laws of magical India their parents offered me both."
Remus chuckled. "Now you see Harry? Plenty of humor right there."
"Yeah, right Moony," Harry snarked. "Just scroll down to the end of the list."
Remus nodded as he let the bottom end of the scroll fall. The first thing to catch his eye was Ginerva Weasley's name at the bottom of the list. "That could be awkward," he thought to himself. But then he glanced up a couple of lines and blanched.
He looked up at Harry and noticed that his eyes were twinkling like Dumbledore's used to. He looked back down and confirmed that the name he thought he saw was really there.
"Apparently," Harry dryly noted, "open-ended offers can come from more than just pure-blooded families."
Remus nodded, and said nothing for ten full seconds before breaking out into a series of gut-wrenching guffaws. Harry couldn't help but join in, earning them scolding looks from the mess hall manager. They got the non-verbal cue and quickly returned to Harry's quarters to begin their scheming.
In the end, they decided that there was little need to embellish what was, all by itself, a rather wonderful opportunity to prank. Harry found the nerve to spill the news to Hermione, and was pleased to be on the receiving end of her empathy. She even agreed to help with their plans.
And so it was Ted and Andromeda Tonks were invited to dine that night with Harry Potter at Buckingham Palace. Their daughter Nymphadora (who had been invited separately along with Remus) had no idea why Harry and Hermione wanted to meet her parents (though she suspected it was Hermione's way of forcing Remus to met her parents). Her parents, in turn, suspected that Harry wanted to discuss the issues surrounding Sirius Black's disputed will.
Mr. and Mrs. Tonks were given the full treatment, with a car picking them up and delivering them at the Palace steps with Beefeaters saluting at the gates. Harry, Hermione, Tonks and Remus met them at the front entrance, and showed them to the Queen's Wizard's Quarters, where dinner was served. Harry and Hermione, dressed in formal evening wear, perfectly played the role of gracious host and hostess. Dinner conversation was light and centered around Tonks's childhood adventures as a metamorph and Harry's adventures at Hogwarts. While a few questions were asked about Harry's new role as Queen's Wizard, care was taken by all not to discuss Sirius's will or Voldemort's war.
Once dessert and tea was served, Harry made the bold suggestion that the bag the traditional post-dinner segregation of the sexes and that everyone repair to the library for after-dinner drinks. Once there, Hermione calmly announced that as Potter Clan Consort she would take the lead on negotiating the terms of the open-ended marriage contract in advance of Nymphadora's marriage to Harry.
As the one with the least experience in the fine art of pranking, it was all Hermione could do not to burst out laughing at the look on the Tonks family's faces. She held on just long enough for Remus to take a wizard photograph that documented the only time in his future wife's life that she was able to display a beet-red hair color that so completely matched her facial skin tone.
Remus considered the many future nights spent of the couch to be more than worth that photo. Harry and Hermione agreed, right up to the point where Tonks so brilliantly pranked them back.
But that's another story.
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