Chapter 21: Games and Fools
A/N: Some folks picked up on the fact that the Top Gun reference in the previous chapter conflicts with the canon's timeline. I should have repeated the following disclaimer in the last chapter's A/N…This story is canon-plausible with one major exception: all of my stories are set with a pushed-forward timeline that has Harry celebrating his seventeenth birthday in 2006, rather than 1997. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, I'm too lazy to go back and check whether a piece of muggle technology or cultural reference is "period." Second, some of my stories are beta'd by my kids, and they like stories where Harry and Hermione could be singing the same songs or wearing the same styles as they are. Third, I just think it reads better. There is precedent…Ian Fleming's first Bond novel was published in 1953. His 007 backstory had Bond joining British Intelligence in the late 1930's. That would put his birth year sometime around 1910. Think we'll see a 96-year old secret agent in the upcoming remake of Casino Royale? I think not. Thanks for reading, and please review.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, no money being made, etc., etc.
Sunday, June 10
Four days of intense physical training had brought the Trio's bodies close to the point of breakdown, and well past the point where sore muscles were adversely affecting their research. Sunday was therefore declared a day of rest.
Rest, that is, from physical exertion…which is why Hermione was more than a little peeved to find her boys in the muggle room with wireless game controllers in hand.
"Hey, mind your hit points, that orc is slaughtering you," shouted Ron.
"Well, Mr. Wizard," Harry retorted, "he wouldn't be if your firestorm spell had actually worked."
"Oh, and how I was supposed to know they were fire resistant?"
"Gee, Ron, maybe by reading the bloody player's guide?"
Hermione walked right in front of the plasma screen and gave them the evil eye. "Aren't you two supposed to be working on your charms research?"
"We are, Hermione," Ron explained, as he struggled to look over her shoulder. "Learning how to kill orcs and goblins with these controllers will make us very charming…now get out of the way!"
With no small amount of frustration Hermione whipped out her wand and pointed it at the game console. Ron and Harry immediately dropped their controllers on the floor.
"Okay, okay, we get the idea," said Harry. "We were working on that research…just taking a break is all."
"Merlin," Hermione exclaimed, "you boys and your toys."
"Now, Hermione," Ron patiently explained, "we are doing some serious research with this game playing. My wizard is learning all kinds of things as he gains levels."
"Oh, so now you're going to learn how to do magic with a muggle video game for a tutor?" she replied. "Honestly…why go to Hogwarts?"
"Well, I have to admit," Harry said, "whoever made this game has some funny ideas about wizardry and magical monsters. Ron and I could make a fortune as consultants to the muggle gaming industry."
"And do what," Hermione asked, "teach muggle children how to cast spells and defend castles?"
Ron squinted a bit at Hermione. "Say that again, would you?"
Hermione frowned. "All I did was ask if you and Harry were planning on teaching muggles the right way to cast spells and defend castles."
"Yeah…that's what I thought you said," Ron replied. "Not a bad idea, actually, though I wouldn't be surprised if they could even teach us a few things."
"What are you on about?" Hermione asked.
Ron got up and rummaged though a pile of jewel box cases and picked one out. "This game is called Siege Lords…we've only played this one a bit, but…it's a game where one army defends a castle from attack by a second army. A player picks one side or the other and commands the troops against either a friend or the computer. You can even go onto the Internet and fight against real people who live in other cities, or even countries."
"And…." Hermione said impatiently, rotating her hand in the international signal for "get to the point, you git."
"And before the game starts you get to choose the type of castle you want to lay siege to, or defend, and what kind of weapons and troops you command. They've got all kinds of castles and forts to choose from…everything from medieval moat-protected castles to wooden forts out on the nineteenth century American frontier."
"So how would this help?" Hermione asked. "It's not like you could choose to defend Hogwarts Castle from the Death Eaters, right?"
Harry was nodding his head up and down slightly, with the hint of grin on his face. "Right, but maybe it could be…Ron, you're bloody brilliant. Knew there's a reason why I put up with you and your snoring."
"I'm not following," Hermione said, with some degree of frustration.
"That's okay, dear," Harry said with a smirk, "you still get to be the smartest witch of your generation."
"Harry Potter…"
"Only teasing, 'Mione, you know that," Harry said with a smile. "Let Ron and me work on this for a bit, alright? It's probably a dead end, but hey…if it gets us away from the Xbox it can't be all bad, right?"
Hermione looked at Harry, who was giving her the puppy dog-eyed look that he knew she couldn't resist. "Fine," she finally said, "just so long as I get to motivate you to be quick about it." And with that she grabbed the controllers out of Ron and Harry's hands, and confiscated the game console's power cord. That brought a whimper out of Ron.
"Thanks, Hermione," Harry said, as he turned towards Ron. "Properly motivated, then?"
Ron gave Harry a healthy scowl as he grabbed the Siege Lord jewel case and followed him out the door.
+++++++
"So you think a bunch of nine-year old kids playing a video game will help you win your war, huh?" asked Wally. "Well it works for the Yanks," he mused, "so I don't see why it couldn't help you too."
As MI-5 ¾'s resident computer geek, Harry and Ron had figured that Wally might know a thing or two about video game design. They were right.
"Erm…we don't want them to actually fight," Harry replied. "We could actually just work with the simulation ourselves. Just thought that letting the gamers hack on it might reveal some strategy or tactic we aren't thinking of right now."
"Yeah, I know what you meant," Wally said, "although I was serious about kids going to war with joysticks. Maybe not nine-year olds, but they've got kids your age controlling real-live remote-control airplanes and dropping bombs using computers and controllers thousands of miles away from the battlefield."
"Well, that's a separate thought," Ron said. "Right now we're interested in how we could create a game that simulates real-life wizard fights."
Wally nodded. "Well, first thing you need to do is decide whether you'd want to create a simulation or a game."
"What's the difference?" Harry asked.
"A computer simulation tries to recreate or simulate real conditions in the real world, then makes predictions on outcomes based on a certain situation and how the people within the situation react." Wally explained. "A computer game creates fictional conditions and balanced player abilities then lets players try to overcome certain situations. So the question is whether you want to learn something or have fun."
"Can't do both, huh?" Ron asked.
"There are games that do both," Wally replied, "but most commercial games like the ones up in your bedroom are sold as entertainment. Sounds to me like you need more of a simulation."
"Is that something that could be done rather quickly?" Harry asked.
"That depends," Wally replied, "on how realistic you want the simulation to be and what kind of resources you devote to the project. A lot of game design involves writing computer code, so the more programmers you have working on the project the quicker it progresses."
"Well, I certainly have the resources available to me, but I don't have the foggiest idea of how to program."
"You wouldn't have to," Wally replied. "My advice, if you want to pursue this, would be to find a game that has a similar basic concept, then have the game developer adapt it to your specifications."
"Ever play Siege Lord?" Harry asked.
Wally laughed. "Sure, but it's been a while. My mates and I played it for about 40 hours straight the week it came out. Good AI, killer graphics, but the music blew."
Harry showed Wally the game's jewel case. "The case says that the game creator is based in London…any suggestions on how we could meet with them?"
"Sure," Wally said with a smile. "Just give me a few days."
+++++++
Ron and Harry returned to Number Four with hope that they might retrieve the game controllers, but Hermione held firm and forced them to complete a discussion they'd had the day previous about R.A.B. and his locket.
Once the previous Friday's excitement over the Dursley's imminent departure had passed, Hermione had pulled Ron and Harry aside and reminded them that they'd seen a locket similar to the fake that Harry still carried in his pocket back at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. She then linked the initials to Sirius's brother, and theorized that Regulus had hidden the horcrux at the Black mansion for safekeeping. Harry then reminded Hermione that even if the real locket was at Number 12 that they couldn't risk trying to retrieve it, given the broken Fidelius charm.
They'd almost decided to file that potential horcrux information away for later consideration when Ron got the bright idea of getting Kreacher to retrieve it for them. Before Hermione thought to object, Harry had summoned both Kreacher and Dobby to Number Four. While Hermione spent a few minutes coming up with specific instructions that Kreacher couldn't twist to his own ends, Ron and Harry enjoyed some semi-obligatory terrorizing of Vernon and Petunia (with instructions for the elves to enjoy muggle piggy-back rides).
Even with some air-tight legal language, it was all Dobby could do to drag Kreacher out to the mansion and bring him back, with the disappointing news that the locket was no longer where Kreacher had stashed it two years previous.
Harry's recollection that he'd caught Mundungus Fletcher trying to pawn some pilfered Black family silver had led to what was, at present, unsuccessful manhunts in both the muggle and wizarding worlds. Hermione had cashed in one of the favors Head Auror Robards has promised in lieu of pressed charges and asked him to find the erstwhile Order member, while MI-5 ¾ was conducting a correlative search in muggle London (on the theory that Fletcher wouldn't be above selling magical contraband if he could find a willing muggle buyer).
Discussion on this day drifted towards the topic of what to do once they recovered the locket. Ron's simplistic notion of "We destroy it, of course," was dismissed by Hermione's reference to Dumbledore's right hand. Though any of them might have made the same sacrifice, if pressed, it was thought best to explore alternative options prior to going down that path.
"Hold on," thought Ron, "you destroyed a horcrux without losing an arm, didn't you Harry?"
"Well, yes," replied Harry.
"So why don't you do the same thing over again?"
"If only it were that simple," interjected Hermione. "There are probably far too many variables to control."
"Like what?" asked Ron.
"Well," thought Hermione, "you get the parchment and start taking notes, then." She turned to Harry. "Let's play newspaper."
"Hold on," said Ron, "this isn't some kinky role-playing thing is it?"
"You wish," replied Hermione. "I was suggesting that we use the same techniques that responsible journalists use when they write stories to describe how Harry destroyed the diary…who, what, where, when, why and how. You wouldn't know about this, of course, since you've only been exposed to the Quibbler and Daily Prophet."
"Oh, yeah," replied Ron, "see your point."
"We start with the who, then….obviously, that's Harry."
"Right," replied Ron, as he chewed on his quill tip. "So tell me something we don't already know."
"Cor, Ron, sometimes…." Hermione took a deep breath. "The relevant point is that Harry, unlike Dumbledore, was able to destroy a horcrux without getting injured."
"So there might be a reason for that…my connection or something?" asked Harry.
"Exactly," Hermione replied with a smile. "Now, doesn't mean that Harry has to be the one to do the job, but it might be. Let's move on to 'what.'"
"It was a diary, while Dumbledore destroyed a ring," replied Harry. "Though he didn't actually burn a hole in the ring, did he?"
"Maybe because there was already one there?" asked Ron, earning a reproachful look from Hermione.
"Harry's got a point," said Hermione. "Harry destroyed the diary's utility…couldn't write in that diary afterwards could you?"
"But Dumbledore didn't crack the ring into two or melt it down," Ron added. "When he was done it was still a ring, just without the trapped soul fragment inside of it."
"No, that's not entirely true," said Harry. "The gold ring wasn't broken, but the stone mounted within it was cracked."
"That's right," thought Hermione. "So there might be something said for extreme violence. Let's move on, though, so we can take a look at the entire picture …who, what, now where."
"Where was the Chamber of Secrets," replied Harry. "Don't know, really, where Dumbledore destroyed the ring…suppose we could ask his portrait if and when it wakes up."
"Why would the Chamber be someplace special?" asked Ron.
"Besides the fact that it was built by Salazar Slytherin, was home to a basilisk, and was only accessible to someone who, like Voldemort, could speak Parseltongue?"
"Fine," snapped Ron, "besides all that then…."
"So what you're suggesting, then," asked Harry, "is that all things being equal it'd be safer to try and destroy the Horcrux within the Chamber than someplace else?"
"Exactly, Harry," replied Hermione, with a beaming smile that threw Ron into a slight funk. "Which brings us to 'When' and 'Why.'"
"Pretty obvious why we want to do it," groused Ron, "and Harry and Dumbledore had the same motivation, didn't they?"
"Not exactly," Hermione said, "Harry didn't know it was a horcrux when he destroyed it, while Dumbledore did…although I doubt it's a huge difference. Same thing with when he did it…it could be something like a full moon having an effect, like lycantrophy, but it doesn't seem like something Voldemort would get hung up on."
"So then we're left with how to do it, aren't we?" asked Harry. When the other two nodded agreement he began thinking out loud. "Let's see, I was in the Chamber, and just pulled the poisonous basilisk fang out of my arm, and I was a bit angry at Tom's echo so I speared the diary with the fang, and then the book caught on fire and I heard a loud scream. Don't remember if it was the echo screaming, or the soul fragment."
"How did the book catch fire?" asked Ron.
"Dunno," replied Harry, the burnt hole just sort of grew away from the fang. By the time it was done the hole was a lot wider than the puncture mark."
"So it could have been the use of the fang, the poison in the fang or both that destroyed the horcrux," said Ron.
"Yeah, sounds about right," said Harry. "We left the dead basilisk down there, so it's possible we could find a fang…maybe even the one I used. But I imagine that the venom would have dried up by now."
"Doesn't matter," Hermione concluded. "Either the fang would work or it wouldn't…remember what we did trying to open the locket in the first place? Ron, I think you were banging it against a table."
"Merlin, you're right," said a Weasley Gone White.
"So," said Harry, "when we find the locket, or the cup, or some other horcrux, we'll just go to Hogwarts, use Parseltongue to enter the Chamber of Secrets, slide down the chute, clear out the caved-in passageway, nick a fang from the basilisk's skeletal frame and then I'll use it to poke Tom's soul fragment. No problem."
"And even if it didn't work," said Hermione with a smile, "I'll get to see the Chamber and we can collect some basilisk bones and fangs to barter for potion ingredients."
"Great," said Ron, rather weakly. "Day in the park, stroll by the lake…let's bring a picnic lunch and spread it out inside Salazar's statue mouth. And now that's settled, can we have the game controller's back?"
Hermione shook her head as she allowed her boys to go back to their games.
+++++++++
Wednesday, June 13
The sound of steel striking steel provided a rather incongruous overlay to the staccato chug-chug-chug of the neighborhood hosepipes. Nobody within earshot of Harry's sword fighting lessons in Number Four's backyard paid any attention, however; they were either in the know, or had been gullible enough to accept a rather implausible explanation (namely, that he was training for the Olympic longsword event).
After a full week of lessons Harry felt as if he'd progressed from totally awful to merely dreadful. His muscles burned from the workouts; one hour each day spent hacking at a stout wooden post, followed by a second hour of sparring with the master swordsman. Those parts that didn't burn were battered and bruised from the hits he took from his instructor's dulled edge. Fortunately, the instructor seemed to think that things weren't all that bad.
"You know you're a natural at this," the swordsman said, as he picked Harry up off the ground for the tenth time that afternoon. "I'd almost say it's in your blood."
"Must have been a vampire hunter in a past life," Harry joked.
"Well you certainly have the sword for it," the instructor replied. Harry looked down at Godric's sword and cursed himself for slipping. Even with the leather straps that covered the sword's blade it was easy to tell that it was pure silver.
He tried to laugh it off. "Too bad, then, that the prospects for that line of work are slim."
The master swordsman gave him a careful look. "That's only because English vampires are so docile," he replied. "Now, down in the Baltics, that's a different story."
"Ha ha, that's a good one," Harry replied nervously, wondering just how much his instructor knew about vampire hunts.
The man nodded with a glint in his eye. "Yes, well, Mr. Potter, we'll take it as that." The instructor began unwrapping his sword so that it could be sheathed for transport. "So," he asked Harry, "have you decided whether you'll be using the left or right hand yet?"
"Right, I hope," Harry replied, "but as I'm not completely certain I'll still need work with both." Sword hand was an issue he'd been grappling with all week. He'd been working on simple spells using his left hand, but hadn't progressed to the point where he felt he could imagine fighting with sword in one hand and wand in the other. Of course the ability to do wandless magic would solve the problem, but he was still working on nonverbal spells that didn't involve removing bits of his girlfriend's clothing.
With the day's lesson's over Harry went upstairs to take a shower. As he entered the muggle room to store his sword he marveled at the latest phase of remodeling. Brian hadn't waited for the Dursley's departure; taking a cue from the control room across the street, they'd replaced the single desk and chair with smart looking modular workstations that took now took up one entire wall of the room. Four separate computer systems were set up, with large flat-screen monitors, scanners, and color laser printers. Their 48-inch plasma screen telly had been remounted on the wall above the workstations, end-to-end with two new identical screens, creating a seamless video display roughly two-feet high and nine-feet long.
Ron was presently standing behind Fred and George as they hunched over laptop computers on an L-shaped extension that jutted out from the wall.
"Oy, George, how many times do I have to tell you?" Ron asked, peering over his older brother's shoulder. "It's swish and click, not swish and flick."
"Worse than McGonagall, you are," George lamented. "Why couldn't the muggles have invented a wand-shaped mouse?"
"Hey, be thankful for small favors," Ron replied. "I could have forced you to use the trackball."
"Oy, Ron," Harry interrupted, "Not showing them sites your mum wouldn't approve of, are you?" he asked.
"Now, Harry, you know Hermione's installed NetNanny," Ron replied. "Of course, she only did that on the old desktop," he said with a smirk. "And now that I've got administrator-level authorization for the new network…"
"Thank Merlin you've taken to your muggle studies, little brother," Fred said with a smile.
"So, really, what are your big brothers doing in the Internet?" Harry asked.
"Oh, a little market research, some new product development, a healthy bit of industrial espionage…" George said.
"Okay, I'll bite," Harry replied, "how is your net surfing helping the shop?"
"Simple, really," Fred said, "We're looking at how muggles compensate for their non-magical limitations, then borrowing their ideas to make magical versions of their inventions."
"Got the idea from Ron," George admitted, as he held up one of the pairs of night vision goggles that Ron had bought on-line. "Any wizard worth their salt wouldn't need these spectacles to see in the dark…they'd simply cast the right charm. But same thing could be said of shield charms, and look at all the money we've made selling shield-charmed clothing to the Ministry of Magic."
"So you're going to make magical night vision goggles?" Harry asked.
"That's right," said Fred, "ones that'd work not only in areas where magical interference would trash the muggle goggles, but ones strong enough to work inside areas affected by Peruvian Instant Blackness Powder."
"I thought you guys and Hermione developed the counterspell against that powder."
"Sure," Fred agreed, "but why banish the powder that blinds your enemies if you can still see?"
"Makes sense to me," Harry said. "So what else are you into?"
"Working with Hermione to look for raw materials," Fred said. "Stuff we need for our potions and powders."
"You expect to find potion ingredients on the Internet?" Harry asked. "How many wizards you think are e-Bay power users?"
"There's the beauty, Harry," George replied. "We've found muggles selling ingredients that they don't even know have magical properties. One place ships out salamander's by the dozen, another sells valerian root and astragulus. There's a site that sells Chinese herbs that's going to be practically a one stop shop for us."
"What about delivery, though," Harry asked. "It's not like FedEx ships to Diagon Alley."
"Ah, yeah, we thought about that," Fred replied. "Had a talk with Wally and Brian, and they suggested a way around that."
"You're going to smuggle your supplies in?" Harry asked.
"No," said George, "although that's not a bad idea. Fred and I figured it'd be easier if we just had a muggle shipping address. Now, don't worry," he said, noting Harry's arched eyebrows, "we aren't planning on setting up shop here at Number Four."
"But Number Seven, on the other hand," George said with a gleam in his eye.
"Prefer Number Twelve myself," said Fred. "although any house with a backyard free of gnomes works with me."
"You two are thinking of moving to Little Whinging?" Harry asked. "Aren't you a bit afraid the Death Eaters will recognize the new address?"
"It's not like they don't know where to find us in Diagon Alley, right?" Fred replied. "Besides, from what we've seen, there's a rather attractive combination of protections available here on this street."
"Not to mention the fact that it'd be an honor to live so close to the Great Clan Chief Potter."
"And his Consort, don't forget," said Fred with a wink and a nudge.
"Yeah, 'bout time on that one, Harry," said George. "Wish you'd have smartened up a few months ago, though…had the month of March all to myself."
"Oy, will you give the Clan Chief business a rest?" asked Ron. "It wasn't Harry's idea in the first place."
"Works for us, though," replied Fred. "Which reminds me…we want in."
"In where?" asked Harry.
"Into the Clan, of course," said George. "Oh, and if it's not too much trouble, we'd like to have Clan titles, just like little brother here."
"Can't you prats let me enjoy something on my own?" whined Ron.
The twins looked at each other, then dead-panned back to Ron.
"No."
"So what were you thinking," asked Harry, more bemused than bothered by the idea.
"Well, 'Clan Beaters' would be nice, if you decided to field a quidditch team, but…"
"What about Clan idiots?" suggested Ron.
"Not a bad idea, actually," thought Harry, "assuming that we tweek it a bit….I could use a jester or two."
"Erm…maybe 'Clan Fools?" suggested Fred.
Harry thought for a few seconds. "Fine, on condition that you both wear foolscaps at all official Clan functions."
The twins looked at each other with a gleem in their eyes and replied in unison.
"Consider it done."