Chapter Fourteen: Interpretations
"Lily, bad news," Remus's voice, thick with hurt and his face wet with tears.
By the shattered look on his face Lily knew it wasn't good, not even at all. Lily felt the world slip from her feet as she dropped to her knees, her arm clutching the front of her shirt. "Oh God, who died? Someone's dead? Who?"
Remus took a deep shuddering breath, his tongue licking at his tear soaked lips. "They couldn't figure out how she'd gotten the bottle of rat poison-"
"Oh God, ohgodohgodohgod-Remus," she cried out achingly. "Why is this happening Remus? How can all of this crap happen in one year?" She bowed her head and sobbed into her hand.
Remus, who was crying very openly now, walked forward and dropped to his knees in front of her, pulling her into his arms. "Lil-" he whispered, his voice nasally from crying.
"I kn-ow you were cl-ose, and I-" Lily panted from the effort of trying to talk and breath out of her mouth at the same time because of her nose being stuffed from how hard she was crying.
"Where's James? I want James!" Lily whispered into his shoulder.
As if he'd heard her calling for him, the picture to their common room opened, showing James, his face taut with pain of what was most likely a headache, and his entire body tense. "Hey, what's going on?" His voice clipped with hurt.
Lily jerked away, staring up at James with so much passion and love on her wet face that James did a double take. "James it's Ari," she managed to sob out as she got up and went to him. "She's dead."
It took a second for what she said to register before he gasped and wrapped a hand around the back of her neck, dropping his forehead to hers. "Lily I'm so sorry," he whispered in one breath. He lifted his eyes, his forehead still on Lily's. "Remus," James spoke softly, as if treading, not wanting his friend to do anything regretful.
What surprised him were the tears dampening his cheeks and James knew if hadn't known before, just how serious it had been between Remus and Ari.
God he loved her! James thought, his heart, already broken for his girlfriend, breaking a little more for one of his best friends. "I have to get out," Remus growled suddenly, his eyes flashing.
James instantly let go of Lily and advanced on his friend. "The moon! Remus-don't do anything stupid!" Remus pulled away from his outstretched hand. "Damnit Remus, go Sirius please," James, snapped, leaning forward to grip his shoulders.
Remus pulled away and swiftly turned towards the picture. "Remus do I have to do something I'm going to regret! We don't need another dead body! I hate to be the reason in this. You don't have time to grieve at the moment! The moon is almost out-and you're gonna change whether you want to or not."
Lily, her face wet with tears, looked startled for a moment, her eyes searching both boys at their conversation. Remus is a werewolf?
"I got it!" Remus screamed. "I'll go to Sirius." He mumbled the last part as he exited.
James covered his mouth with his hand, the other sweeping through his hair as he turned to glance at Lily. He frowned.
"It makes sense," Lily whispered softly. "I don't think I'm that surprised."
James nodded and went to her once more.
"James, I can't sleep alone tonight-" She looked at him pleadingly, her eyes red rimmed, tiny wisps of her hair wet from the salty tears that streaked down her face.
"Of course."
****
Lily slowly woke to a darkened room. Her eyelashes fluttering, her eyes aching slightly, and the pain in her heart almost unbearable as the events of the day crashed on her once again.
"Lily?" James' sleepy voice whispered.
Lily gasped softly as she felt the bed move and his warm bare arms wrap around her waist. The heat emanating from his shirtless chest sending shivers down her spin.
"Lily everything will be okay," James spoke softly, sounding on the verge of tears himself.
She didn't want to talk; the only thing in her mind was that she just wanted to kiss his lips, his soft, sexy lips. "Kiss me," she sobbed.
Without question he leaned forward and gently kiss the corner of her mouth, before capturing her lips in a soft, sexy yet lazy caress. Lily slid her hands up his hot bare chest until her fingers tangled in his black, mop like hair. She pushed her body towards his, remembering that she'd not gotten any pajamas and was currently wearing James silk pajama top, as her bare legs tangled with his silk bottoms. She nudged his hips with hers, tearing startled groan from James.
He pulled back. "Lily stop it."
Lily pulled back enough to allow her to talk, but with every word her lips brushed intimately with his. "No-everything is so wrong in my life-everything but you. Surprisingly! I can't even believe how much I've fallen in love with. You're a constant in my life and I need you, I need that, desperately."
James searched her eyes, his showing his shock. "You love me?"
Lily snorted. "Yes stupid! What do you think this is all about? The moment that I-that I heard-the moment I knew all I could think of was you. I wanted you and I felt guilty because my two best friends are dead. Then I realized I wanted you because I feel safe with you," she whispered, pushing her lips occasionally to his. "I hope I'm not scaring."
A tear dropped down his cheek and he shook his head. His mouth dropped as if he were to speak, but seemed unable to; instead he gently pulled Lily closer to him, if that was even possible, so that the lower half of his body rested between her warm, naked thighs. James grunted softly as he felt Lily's hand pull at her knickers.
It was too much and when she reached for his bottoms, James knew he wouldn't, no couldn't, stop. He had wanted her for so long that she felt like air to him and he was getting a huge breath as he pushed his shirt up her torso. He dropped his now naked lower half on to hers, holding in a deep groan of pleasure at the skin contact, not wanting to startle her.
With his erection cradled in her pelvis, James dropped his face to the junction of her neck, and bit down softly against the waves of pleasure that coursed through him.
It feels like it's my first time, James though, nudging his nose into her neck, his teeth still latched in her throat. Her hands slid down his tapered waist and cupped his arse, pushing him tighter to her, forcing him to release the groan he'd been holding back. She cautiously wrapped her legs around his hips, settling her now intertwined feet, against his lower back.
A growl tore through his throat as a dry orgasm ripped through him, his hips jerking forward. "Oh James," he vaguely heard her whisper in his ear.
His mind was foggy with lust and even though he hadn't told her he loved her, James couldn't think of a better way to express that he did in fact love her more than she'd ever know. He slowly lifted his head, his cheek brushing against hers as he did so. He gently placed a quivering kiss to her lips, gently coaxing them apart with his tongue. James panted into her mouth as she let out a grunt from the weight of him on top of her.
With his mouth still locked with hers, he braced his upper body by placing the palm of his left hand on the side of her head, lifting himself up, pulling her with him because of her tightly wrapped legs that were around his waist. He reached between their bodies, his eyes searching hers, praying that she wouldn't regret this in the morning, as he slowly pushed the head of his penis into her. He paused as her body tensed, her walls clenching around the tip of his highly sensitive erection.
He moaned into her mouth and slowly pulled away. "Lily, don't do that. You have to relax, okay-Merlin but you can do that as much as you want once I'm in. Okay baby?"
Lily, biting her lip in nervous anticipation, nodded and once he felt her slowly starting to relax he advanced on his chance and pushed his way through her barrier. A long, deep groan tore from his lips and he forced his eyes to stay open, wanting to watch her face forever.
Her eyes had widened in shock, her mouth dropped open in a silent gasp, her nails had dug into his shoulder, and her thighs gripped either side of his hips. "Oh James it hurts. A lot more than I thought it would."
He dropped his forehead to hers. "I'm sorry love," he whispered, gently delivering a caressing lick of this tongue to her lips.
He settled fully into her, her arse once again against the sheets of his bed. He dropped his hot cheek against the rise of her breast, gently kissing her. James let his hands slid down her sides, before going up again, and tracing the tips of his fingers along her nipples.
"Mm-mm," she shivered, her mouth dropping open.
"Lily let it out," he coaxed, knowing she was or would be a screamer. "You don't have to hold back with me, never." He groaned suddenly as he felt her walls contract around his hot, throbbing erection, and realized that he should talk to her more. "Lily, you're so beautiful. Your breasts are the most wonderful things I've ever seen. Just looking at you in my oversized shirt makes me harder," he panted in her ear, holding back a grin and groan as he felt himself sink deeper into her-he had thought he was already in fully deep-Merlin was he wrong.
He could barely form a coherent thought anymore, "Come on, show me how much more gorgeous you can be," he said, darting his tongue out to lick the lobe of her ear.
When her pants became loud groans and her hips slowly started to move he slowly could feel his restrain leaving him. With his face in her neck, his hands went down to grip her hips, and he reared up suddenly, swiping his knees under him, yanking her up so that she straddled his lap, her arms instantly wrapping around his neck for leverage. He lifted her hips up, swiftly pulling out and then pushing back in.
He could feel the last strands of his control slipping as the surprise etched over Lily's face from the sudden fierceness of his actions, from the intimacy this position formed. Her tiny mewling grunts causing his hips to form erratic thrusts, the bed shaking and squeaking from the efforts of his movements, as they both slightly bounced up and down.
"Oh yes Lily," he whispered, biting into her neck once more as he felt the tendons tightening his muscles in his lower back. He lifted his head, one hand pushing her hips forward, his other hand reaching up to clutch her hair, forcing her head to stay close to his. He dropped his lips to her ear. "I'm coming Lily," he gasped. "Ahh," he growled, his hips jerking up into her spread thighs roughly.
A grunt of pleasure passed through her lips as warmth spread through her lower abdomen. Her arms clutching him tightly to her, as she felt him collapse against her, which caused her to crash on to the sheets of the bed. After shocks of his pleasure widened Lily's eyes as she stared up at the ceiling. She softly brushed her fingers through his hair, knowing that this safe place she created would always be hers.
"That was amazing James," Lily whispered lovingly into his ear.
With her shirt bunched up, damp, between them and James still very much joined to her, Lily had never felt so vulnerable-until he lifted his face, his hair falling into his eyes, and the light of the moon revealing his flushed cheeks.
"You are so beautiful," she smiled lovingly.
"Your turn," he whispered, sliding his dampened body through her thighs, and down her clothed chest.
"No-James, you don't have-Oh God," she gasped and her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she felt his tongue tentatively touch the sensitive bundle of nerves between the lips of her sex. "Oh wow."
The feel of the tip of his tongue after what had just happened, was almost too much for her sensitivity. Her thighs clenched almost instantly around his head, her hips arching, her fingers tangling through her hair, and as soon as he opened his mouth wider and began a vicious sucking, she felt her world drop as a powerful orgasm tore through her. Her hips knocked into his chin and her legs wrapped around his neck, pushing him deeper to her. Her back arched so far off the bed that if her thighs hadn't been keeping him in place, she'd have feared she might have flung him off.
"Oh James, yes, mmm," she cried, her back collapsing to the bed, her head thrashing back and forth.
Slowly she started to come down, her thighs loosening her death grip around his head, her chest still heaving. "If I wo-uld ha-ve known," she paused trying to catch her breath, "I could have come that hard with you I wouldn't have wasted time charming my wand to vibrate in the shower after our snog sessions."
James groaned and dropped his cheek to her thigh as he stared up at her. "I love you Lil."
Lily reached down to smack him in the back of the head. "You can't say it now-you brain is filled with euphoria and---"
"You are so crazy," he smiled gently trailing kisses up her thighs, to her hips, at the peaks of her breasts, and then stopping at her mouth.
"James," she whispered, pulling away from his kiss. "Is it wrong that I'm happy?"
James stared at her, not exactly sure what he should say. Her two best friends in the world had just been killed with in the past couple of days, but because of what they'd just down she was telling him that she was happy. "I don't think it's wrong. I'm happy that I'm finally with you in the physical sense. I feel guilty for saying this, but I'm glad that it-I don't know any other way of saying it without sounding like a heartless git."
Lily shook her head. "I think I understand. I'm happy I'm with you, but I'm still absolutely torn. James I-I'm going to cry again. I didn't think I could cry anymore," her voice mumbled and tears streaked down her face.
"It's okay, I'm not squeamish about crying like other people I know," James smirked almost gently.
Lily gave a sobbing laugh and pulled him up for a kiss.
To Be Continued…
A lot of people have been complaining about the recent angst of the story, well my explanation is that there are people in my story that aren't in the Harry Potter books and I had this somewhat planned out. So I apologize for that and I hope you all liked this. They finally had sex no matter the circumstances.
Now, I know there's a line in this chapter that I used from Kinley Macgregor's Taming the Scotsman I just couldn't find it. ~Aya