So sorry that I haven't posted in a century. I've been everywhere but here the last month. My band recently took second in the state and I've had to be gone a lot due to that. I have a performance Thursday night with a choir and a contest Saturday, not to mention all of my AP classes are still killing me. (We just finished a very touching novel about the Holocaust. It's called 'Night'. If you don't want it sugarcoated, then I suggest it. It's very good.) Not to mention the election going on tomorrow night. Things definitely aren't slowing down any and I regret to say that this may not be the longest we go in between posts. Thanks muchly to everyone who reviewed last chapter and thanks even more for sticking with me. I appreciate all of your positive thoughts about my AP classes. They're getting better. Please keep the thoughts and the prayers coming and I hope you all enjoy this next chapter! Remember, reviewing makes the voices speak... *wink, wink*
And I still own nothing. (Unfortunately)
Chapter Thirteen:
Cannonball
"There's still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
There's still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
It's still a little hard to say what's going on
"There's still a little bit of your ghost, your witness
There's still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day and I can't say what's going on
"Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall when you float like a cannonball
"There's still a little bit of your song in my ear
There's still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't say what's going on
"Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on, courage, teach me to be shy...
'Cause it's not hard to grow when you know that you just don't know"
'Cannonball'
-Damien Rice
Ginny's taken our wands away so we won't kill one another and, believe me, I was angry enough to do it. Harry sits at the opposite end of the table and stares at me, waiting.
I sigh.
"Hermione, don't you think that we should be alone?" He looks from Draco to Ginny and then back at me.
"They are my family, not to mention my best friends... I have nothing to hide from them." He nods me on and I feel Ron's hand on my shoulder. I take a deep breath. "I started feeling sick about a week and a half after you left... It wasn't really bad... I was just a bit nauseated every now and then. I figured it was stress, anxiety, you know... But it kept getting worse. I started gaining weight... Started throwing up everything that I put into my mouth... Then... Well, I started to suspect... For obvious reasons. But Madame Pomfrey told me that it was just stress. After two months, I figured it out. I was pregnant after the one night that I'd slept with Harry Potter."
He sighs in disbelief and nods me on.
"I was in denial... Ron asked me once. I, of course, told him no. I'd believed that you were coming back for so long, Harry... Then McGonagall brought me your glasses... Well, that was it. After that... I believed a little less every day...
"Around the end of September, it got to the point where something had to be done. I was starting to really show... Everyone knew that I was Harry Potter's girlfriend... If I was pregnant by him... Well... The Death Eaters would have a field day. They'd come after me and the baby...
"One day, Ron came to me again and asked me if I was pregnant. I figured that this was my way out... so I told him. I expected him to be really upset... But he just hugged me and told me that he'd do whatever it took to keep the baby and me safe. Dumbledore advised us to marry to provide the necessary protection and-"
"Wait," he stops me. "You talked to Dumbledore?"
I nod. "Yes... He was the one who preformed our marriage."
Harry shakes his head and sighs again. "He knew."
"Knew what?"
"Dumbledore knew where I was. He talked to me after every battle. I... I wrote letters to you and sent them by him... Didn't you get them?"
"No... Why would he do something like that?"
He shrugs. "We'll have to talk to him, the smarmy git," he hisses, then turns his bright eyes toward me. "Please go on, Hermione," he says softly.
"Erm... Anyway, I talked to him and McGonagall a lot. They advised me to just follow my heart. That was hard... My heart still believed... But my mind didn't.
"Ron's been telling me everyday for the last fifteen years that I was too smart for my own good... He was right. My mind has always ruled my heart... Especially then. I convinced myself that marrying Ron would be the logical decision. I couldn't be a single mother and this would also keep the baby and me safe until Harry came back for us. Then Ron and I could get an annulment and everything would be fine..." This is the hardest part for me to tell Harry. I'm sure this is the hardest part for him to hear.
"I said yes to Ron... It killed me the day that I actually had to marry him. I just kept telling myself that Harry was dead... That it was for the baby... We got married in November...
"Then in March, James was born... I'll never forget that day. He kept me in immense pain for thirty-eight hours... But when they laid that little pink baby in my arms... It didn't matter... He looked just like you, Harry..." I turn my eyes to him. "He had hair blacker than coal... Eyes deeper and greener than emeralds... he had my nose, though..."
The tiniest smile flickers across Harry's quivering lips.
"We named him after you because... Well, you were dead... We wanted a way to honour you."
He blinks away the tears.
"I don't remember a lot of James's first six months... I was depressed... After I got over the depression, I stayed at work all of the time. I know that I was a horrible mother... I didn't see his first step... Didn't hear his first word... I was too wrapped up in burying my own grief to see that I had a little piece of Harry right there with me.
"Ron adopted him after a year... I'd almost completely stopped believing that you weren't dead and knew that you weren't coming back for me... His name was changed from Harry James Potter to Harry James Weasley... Dumbledore explained that in a magical adoption, the child takes on some of the family characteristics... That's why James's hair is red now and not black... That's why his eyes are blue, not green. He is, in every way, a Weasley... He is Ron's adoptive son... But, he carries your genes. Harry," I gather enough courage to look straight into those eyes. "James is your son."
He looks from me to Ron, who's now standing the in doorway with his arms crossed. "B..." Harry stammers. "Why didn't you tell me this?"
I shrug. "It was hard..."
"Considering you were dead..." Ron scoffs.
Harry looks really shaken up. "I... If I'd known..."
I shake my head. "It wouldn't have changed anything... I don't blame you for staying away anymore... Who would have wanted to come back to-"
He nods slowly and puts his hand over mine. "I did..."
Ron walks briskly across the kitchen and slams the door on his way out.
I run after him. "Ron! Wait!" I catch up to him and grab his shoulder.
"Go back to him..." he growls.
"What?"
"Go-back-to-him. He's what you've wanted the last eight years."
What is he thinking? "I married you."
"'It killed me the day I actually had to marry him,'" he mocks me. "Why don't you make up your mind?"
"What are you talking about?" I yell.
He leans inches away from my face. "Who do you want, Hermione... Me or him? Because you can't have it both ways."
"I..."
He backs away and nods. "Yeah... That's what I thought."
* * *
"Hermione..."
I look up from the setting sun. "Ron... Sit and watch the sunset with me."
He sinks onto the ground beside me. "How are you?"
I raise an eyebrow at him. "If you want to ask me something, just spit it out already."
He sighs and rubs his hands on his knees. "All right then... Erm... 'Mione..."
"Yes?"
"What's your favourite flower?"
I laugh. "Well, I've always been partial to daisies."
"Oh..." He nods and sighs. "'Mione..."
"Hmm?" I tilt my head toward him.
"How was dinner?"
I smile. "It was good."
"Right..."
"Ronald," I sigh. "Honestly, if you want to know something, just come out and ask me!"
"Fine!" He gulps. "'Mioneareyoupregnant?"
"What?"
"Are... You..." Gulp. "Pregnant?"
"How did you reach that conclusion after I've adamantly denied that?" I seethe.
"Well, bloody hell, Hermione! I mean to say, you eat weird things-"
"Everything I've eaten has been completely normal!"
"Smoked kippers and ice cream is not normal, Hermione! Black pudding and treacle is not normal!"
"It was marmalade!"
"My point is..." He runs a hand through his hair. "You've gained weight... You're sick all of the time. Now..." He puts a hand on mine. "Tell me the truth, 'Mione..."
I bow my head in silent submission. "It was an accident! I... I didn't mean..."
"Shh..." He pulls me to him and stokes my hair gently. "You don't have to explain..."
I feel the tears coursing down my cheeks. "You're not mad at me?"
He shakes his head. "Why would I be mad at you?" He places a hand on my stomach. "There's a human being in there. A human being that my two best friends created. I want to be this kid's godfather if-"
He stops short, but I know what the rest of his sentence would have been. I look up at him. "He's not coming back, is he?"
Ron sighs and closes his eyes. "I don't know. It... And I don't want to upset you, Hermione."
"Go on."
"It doesn't look like it," he says carefully. "I spoke with Dumbledore this morning... He... He said he hadn't heard from Harry since he left school in June. I'm... I'm actually..."
The tears stop. I've cried myself out. "We can't keep living on false hopes. I can't stay pregnant. The Death Eaters... Voldemort would come after us both! I can't do this... I wonder if Madame Pomfrey could-" I start to rise.
"'Mione, 'Mione, 'Mione!" He pulls me back down. "Think about it. If Harry is... Well, if he's-"
"Dead," I say bitterly. "Say it. Harry's dead and you know it."
"No!" Ron sighs. "If Harry's... Well, if something's happened to him... Then maybe Voldemort is gone, too! Maybe it's all over with!"
I shake my head. "If Voldemort was dead then Harry would be alive. You can't understand this yet!" I want to pound it into him. Why does he not understand?
"If what you're saying is correct... Then... This baby could be the answer that Harry wasn't. This baby could save us. Save the world, 'Mione. Would you really want to risk it?"
I blink. "What should I do then?"
"Well... You could have the baby as Harry's-"
I shake my head vehemently. "No. Voldemort would kill us all."
"-or you could marry someone who would adopt the baby and raise it as his own."
I scoff. "Come on, who would do anything like that?"
"I would."
"Are you-"
"Look, 'Mione." He holds me in front of him. "I know I'm not Harry, but I love you. I've always loved you. Will you marry me?"
I sit in shocked silence and watch as the last rays of the sun disappear under the glassy surface of the lake. My eyes meet his. "Yes."
TEASER
"Luna?"
"Oh, hello, Ronald. I thought that was you." Luna Lovegood sits beside me and flips her hair behind her shoulder.
I notice that she doesn't have a cigarette. "Erm... Do you need something to smoke?"
She shakes her head. "Oh, Ronald! I don't smoke. Find it a disgusting habit, actually." She pulls a piece of parchment out of her hot pink robes. "Can you light this for me?"
I put my wand to the parchment and watch it curl. "What are you doing?"
Luna puts her face close, but not too close to the parchment. "Fire fascinates me. It's almost as if it's alive. It's born... It breathes oxygen... When its resources are depleted it dies... Very much like mankind, don't you think?"
Before you flame, I just want to clear a few things up.
1. Yes, you were all right.
2. No, I did not rip the plot line off of someone else. If you think I did, then please tell me who so sincerest apologies can be made.
3. Yes, I very carefully manipulated my replies so that you would think one way after thinking another.
4. Yes, James is Ron's son. His adopted son.
5. Yes, James is Harry's son. His biological son.
6. Yes, James is Hermione's son. It wasn't immoral nor was it incest... Which is a little bit redundant, but oh, well. Further questions should be directed to the review board.
Thankee much for reading!